Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 848
December 19, 2013
All The Scorsese Movies That Could Have Been Longer Than 'Wolf of Wall Street' But Aren't
Scorsese's latest, The Wolf of Wall Street. (PARAMOUNT) Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street isn't just a chronicle of rampant douchebaggery. It's a two-hour-and-59-minute chronicle of rampant douchebaggery. That's close enough to the three-hour breaking point to make Wolf the longest non-documentary feature of Scorsese's 46 years making movies. It even inches past the formidable Casino, another flashy depiction of glamorous people finding ever more sinful ways to continue looking glamorous, by a single minute (or two, if you trust IMDB's count over Wikipedia's).
Lengthy runtimes, of course, are hardly a new development for Scorsese, who hasn't made a film that clocks in under two hours since he directed the sorely underrated After Hours in 1985. But it hasn't always been this way; the best of his seventies masterpieces, Mean Streets and Taxi Driver, were 112 and 113 minutes respectively. And settling on the length of Wolf, which was recently reported to be two hours and 45 minutes, seems to have been particularly fraught. And does it really warrant the title of longest? (Maybe not.)
We've revisited some of Scorsese's other longest films to identify what he could have added to push them past the DiCaprio-studded breaking point, had the director been allowed the room that Wolf provided him. (And save your breath: we realize My Voyage to Italy and A Personal Journey with Martin Scorsese Through American Movies both fall around the four-hour mark. We're purposefully excluding Scorsese's documentaries, which we haven't seen aren't necessarily meant to be viewed in one sitting or by way of a wide-scale theatrical release.)
Universal Actual running time: 164 minutes.
What could have pushed it to three hours: 20 minutes of Willem Dafoe being beaten and flogged beyond reason, had Scorsese approached the story with Mel Gibson's sensibility.
Too long, not long enough, or just right? We can live without those 20 extra minutes, actually.
Goodfellas (1990)
Warner Bros. Actual running time: 146 minutes.
What could have pushed it to three hours: The Guinness World Record for longest tracking shot following Ray Liotta as he steps out of his house, gets in his car, and drives all the way to the airport, set to a 35-minute loop of just the bass line from Harry Nilsson's "Jump Into the Fire."
Too long, not long enough, or just right? I mean, we wouldn't necessarily be opposed to a three-hour 25th anniversary director's cut in 2015...
Casino (1995)
Universal Actual running time: 178 minutes.
What could have pushed it to three hours: Literally just 120 more seconds of Joe Pesci putting some guy's head in a vice. On second thought, we don't need that. Okay, how about two more minutes of Martin Scorsese's adorable mom? Everyone loves Martin Scorsese's mom.
Too long, not long enough, or just right? Just right. Those 32 extra minutes help deflect "This is just Goodfellas set in Las Vegas!" barbs. Also, Casino's 178 minutes were enough for it to top Goodfellas as the Scorsese film featuring the most uses of the word "fuck," which pops up 398 times. Here's proof:
Gangs of New York (2002)
Miramax Actual running time: 166 minutes.
What could have pushed it to three hours: Those who have seen the three-and-a-half-hour original cut don't have to imagine. One early version reportedly featured no voiceover narration and was therefore "plainer and therefore more cinematic."
Too long, not long enough, or just right? Too long. Producer Harvey Weinstein was right to demand cuts, and the latter half, after Amsterdam's identity is exposed, could still use some trimming. (But please, don't cut the part where Daniel Day-Lewis calls someone a "meat-headed shit-sack.")
The Aviator (2004)
Warner Bros./Miramax Actual running time: 169 minutes.
What could have pushed it to three hours: Eleven more minutes of panning across Howard Hughes' urine jars.
Too long, not long enough, or just right? Too long.
The Departed (2006)
Warner Bros. Actual running time: 151 minutes.
What could have pushed it to three hours: A climactic end-of-film supercut of every character that appears in the film and miraculously isn't violently killed whacked in its last half hour being violently whacked. Resolution!
Too long, not long enough, or just right? Just right. (Be warned: any longer and Matt Damon's laughable Boston accent becomes contagious.)
London's Apollo Theater Ceiling Collapses During Performance
AP According to multiple reports, police rescue workers are responding to a partial balcony or ceiling collapse at the Apollo Theater in the West End of London. According to eyewitnesses, an undetermined number of people were trapped inside and there numerous injuries. London Ambulance said that it treated 88 patients following the collapse, seven of them serious enough to require hospitalization. There are no reports of fatalities, and the cause of the collapse is unclear.
According to the London Fire Brigade, all the trapped audience members at the theater have since been freed.
Lobby filled with head injuries. pic.twitter.com/Q5Y9CDhuAG
— Simon Usborne (@susborne) December 19, 2013
According to the BBC, audience members heard a "crackling" noise before the collapse in the crowded theater, during a performance of "A Curious Incident Of The Dog in the Night-time," at about 8:15 p.m. London time.
Jess Bowie, an editor at House Magazine, was in he audience. Shortly after the collapse Bowie tweeted, "Was just seeing 'The Curious Incident' in the West End when the roof of the Apollo Theatre caved in. Absolutely petrifying. Don't know if anyone is trapped in there but people outside are covered in dust and some in blood. Utterly horrible."
The Apollo theatre first opened its doors in 1901, and has a capacity of 775 people. According to a London-based reporter for NBC News, tonight's performance was sold out.
We'll have more on this developing story as it becomes available.
Jennifer Lawrence Talks Butt Plugs as Universe Achieves Clickbait Singularity
Jennifer Lawrence, aware that news is slowing down because it's the Thursday before the week of Christmas, has given us the ultimate in clickbait: she went on Conan and talked about butt plugs.
Why, you ask, was our reigning celebrity queen of frankness, farts, and falling down while en route to accepting Academy Awards discussing butt plugs? It really doesn't matter, does it? She did, and we are here writing about it, knowing that the words "Jennifer Lawrence" and "butt plug" are internet catnip. (Is "catnip" also a hot keyword term for J-Law coverage? Because that's what Gale calls Katniss in Catching Fire? Better include it anyway.)
So watch on. Learn what transpired between Jennifer Lawrence and a bag of butt plugs that so delighted Conan and Andy. And God bless us, everyone.
Martha Stewart Does Not Like Gwyneth Paltrow
REUTERS Today in celebrity gossip: Martha Stewart throws major shade at Gwyneth Paltrow, Ryan Gosling is possibly back on the market, and Miley Cyrus is possibly dating Kellan Lutz. (Possibilities are endless!)
Gwyneth Paltrow may have an Oscar, a stacked bank account, several homes, a lead singer of Coldplay, two children with super chill names, and still-vivid memories of waking up beside Brad Pitt, but one thing she will NEVER have is Martha Stewart's respect. Running contra to the notion that all wealthy east coast WASPs are besties, Martha Stewart began throwing shade on GOOP's creator and self-appointed lifestyle guru last October when she started dishing out backhanded compliments right and left: "I haven't eaten at Gwyneth's house. She's a charming, pretty person who has a feeling for lifestyle. If she's authentic, all the better." Haha, oh man. It's okay if you misread that statement as a compliment but it was definitely not a compliment. First off, the word "pretty" is only ever used derogatorily anymore. But also the phrase "If she's authentic" is hilarious in that it outright states Martha Stewart does not find Gwyneth Paltrow authentic at all. Which is bold coming from Martha Stewart! Anyway, soon after that incident, Martha Stewart, of course, denied that she had any beef with Paltrow, but then this week she answered a TMZ cameraman's query of who was the better lifestyle coach with a harrumph: "Lifestyle coach? Oh, for heaven's sake, you have to have lived to be a coach." It's not clear what Stewart meant by "live" (Prison time? The near collapse of one's omnimedia corporation?), but it IS clear that Martha Stewart definitely does not like Gwyneth Paltrow. It's a good goop thing. [Daily Mail, TMZ]
Embattled tough guy, bruised hero, man of few words (but many scars), taciturn brute, buff wallflower: Ryan Gosling's resume is a diverse spectrum of characters, but now he's playing something new: A man who is "taking a break" from Eva Mendes! That's right, after about two years of "moving too fast," Gosling and Mendes have decided to "reevaluate their romance." What does this mean for you, the ordinary citizen who would like to swoop in there and date Ryan Gosling? (Or Eva Mendes?) (Or both?) It means nothing because they will probably be back together by New Year's, or, barring that, will date literally anybody else. Oh, well. Didn't we almost have it all? [Radar]
Miley Cyrus has had quite a year. She waggled her tongue, she wobbled her pelvic region, she stretched leotards beyond the human capacity of understanding, she trolled both conservative AND liberal pundits, and now she may have capped it all off by snagging the human version of Kobe beef to sleep beside. If rumors can be trusted (and rumors can always be trusted), Miley Cyrus is very possibly dating Kellan Lutz, the busty star of countless teen thrillers as well as the upcoming Renny Harlin film (and future Best Picture winner) The Legend of Hercules. These rumors, by the way, stem from the fact that the two of them recently rode on the same private jet and disembarked separately, which, admittedly, is the modern day celebrity version of wearing someone's fraternity pin. These two are definitely going steady, right? Well, even if they aren't, hopefully they bonded on that flight well enough that she gave him a twerking lesson or two. Is twerking still a thing? Can it still be a thing in this specific circumstance, please? Anyway, congratulations, everybody. [E! Online]
Let us now observe a moment of silence for the cast and crew of La Guardia High School's production of Grease. They're not dead per se, but let's be real, they may as well be. Because nothing that they will ever do or accomplish for the rest of their lives will matter as much as the fact that they just performed Grease alongside Madonna's daughter Lourdes Leon (as Rizzo!) with Madonna in attendance. Like a mysterious but ultimately beneficent witch, Madonna lurked in shadows wearing her sunglasses the entire time and then whisked the entire cast off to the Hudson Hotel where she threw an "apres-ski themed" cast party. If you ever encountered someone who had performed Grease in front of Madonna and had afterward pounded pink lemonades with her, would you ever, ever care about anything else that person had experienced in their whole lives? Definitely not. It's like, "Congrats on that Nobel prize or whatever, but wait, did Madonna mouth the words to 'Summer Nights'?" But that's okay, everybody should have at least one good anecdote before they go quietly into the night. These kids now definitely have one. [Page Six]
It's not clear why Orlando Bloom's been going around accusing Evangeline Lilly of being a sauced-up booze vacuum, but Lilly would like to set the record straight. This week, the star of The Hobbit: At Least Two More Hours of This (and surefire Oscar nominee) dropped by Chelsea Lately and picked apart Bloom's (playful) accusations of hard partying with the intensity of a Southern prosecutor. Like, first of all, she didn't remember him in attendance at the very party at which she'd supposedly gotten trashed. He'd also misidentified her boyfriend. And she definitely, definitely did not throw up. So that settles that! Evangeline Lilly does not appreciate Orlando Bloom's vicious lies. Why are you lying about Evangeline Lilly's drinking problem, Orlando Bloom? We may never know the answer to this question. [Us Weekly]
Finally, please enjoy this delightful image that Sir Patrick Stewart tweeted yesterday of Sir Ian McKellen and himself straddling Santa's lap in matching bowler hats:
Father Christmas! #gogodididonyc @TwoPlaysInRep pic.twitter.com/9iu0O7xbKx
— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) December 18, 2013
If THAT doesn't warm the cockles of your icy heart, then maybe just lie down in your grave already because COME ON.
Mark Zuckerberg Is Selling 41 Million Shares of Facebook
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg smiles in an onstage interview for the Atlantic Magazine in Washington, September 18, 2013. (REUTERS/JONATHAN ERNST ) Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg said today that he will sell 41.4 million of his Class A company shares, netting roughly $2.3 billion. However, the huge "windfall" isn't just Zuck cashing out. Most of the money is going to Uncle Sam and to charity.
Reuters reports that Zuckerberg will use funds from the sale to pay a tax bill associated with the purchase of Class B shares. Each Class A share correlates to one vote, while each Class B share correlates to ten. When it's all said in done, the move will reduce his voting power from 58.8 to 56.1 percent.
According to TechCrunch, the sale is part of a larger company effort to raise an approximated $3.9 billion in a secondary offering. (They will also join the S&P 500 Index.) Zuckerberg's 41.4 million make up more than half of the 70 million Class A shares being offered. TechCrunch reports that Facebook's SEC filing also indicates Zuckerberg will gift 18 million shares of Class B stock, which will be converted to Class A shares, to the Silicon Valley Community Foundation in support of his education charities. At current stock prices, that's about $990 million in charitable giving.
Speaking of Facebook stock: Yesterday, District Judge Robert Sweet announced that Zuckerberg, along with a COO Sheryl Sandberg, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, JPMorgan and others, will face a lawsuit over the company's controversial May 2012 IPO. The complainants, who lost money after buying arguably overpriced shares during the offering, contend that Facebook should have disclosed more information about company decisions that would affect future revenue prior to the sale. The judge added that complainants could bring a suit against NASDAQ for hiding technical difficulties that made trades difficult (or impossible) to process during the botched IPO. Nasdaq was slapped with a $10 million fine over the debacle in May.
According to Sweet, Facebook misled investors by implying that future revenues could be cut due to increasing mobile use and product decisions, when those cuts had in fact "already materialized." Investors bringing the suit include pension funds in Arkansas, California and North Carolina.
Zuckerberg's filing also follows outgoing Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke's announcement yesterday that the Fed will start to taper the economic stimulus program, a move that restored investor confidence and prompted the markets to close at record highs.
Target Stores Hit by Massive Black Friday Credit Card Breach
People shop at a Target store during Black Friday sales in the Brooklyn borough of New York, November 29, 2013. (REUTERS/ERIC THAYER) If you used a credit or debit card to shop at Target on Black Friday, your account information could have been compromised in what may be the largest security breach in U.S. retail history.
The retailer confirmed this morning that the financial information of roughly 40 million Target shoppers who patronized stores throughout the country from November 27 to December 15 may have been stolen. The Secret Service is investigating the claim.
According to computer security expert Brian Krebs, who broke the story on his website, credit cards used to shop online did not appear to be affected by the breach. He explains that only cards swiped at a store would be vulnerable to this type of crime.
The type of data stolen — also known as “track data” — allows crooks to create counterfeit cards by encoding the information onto any card with a magnetic stripe. If the thieves also were able to intercept PIN data for debit transactions, they would theoretically be able to reproduce stolen debit cards and use them to withdraw cash from ATMs.
NBC digital journalist Alastair Jamieson tweeted out more details of the breach:
Massive Target data breach involves customer name, credit/debit card number, and card expiration date and 3-digit CCV security code
— Alastair Jamieson (@alastairjam) December 19, 2013
One news outlet warns that credit card information stolen in this way could be sold on the black market, and could remain untouched for months before being used. This year, 
Big Sur Wildfire Mostly Contained
A firefighter keeps watch over a burn out operation in Big Sur, California. According to experts: fire hot. (REUTERS) A large wildfire that swept through Big Sur in California this week is well on its way to being fully contained by Friday, according to the U.S. Forest Service. The fire has already destroyed 22 structures and scorched almost 800 acres of land. As of Wednesday afternoon, the fire was only 20 percent contained, but by the end of the day, that statistic had risen to 74 percent.
The Pfeiffer Fire, as it's also known, has claimed 14 homes since it began on Monday. Officials still have not determined the cause, but more than 1,000 firefighters as well as four water-dropping helicopters were dispatched to help quell the blaze.
Courageous Big Sur FireBrigade Chief Martha Karstens lost home in fire but still leads her community thru hard times pic.twitter.com/SFVdqpuOf2
— Asm. Luis Alejo (@AsmLuisAlejo) December 18, 2013
Big Sur wildfire destroys 15 homes, including that of the fire chief. http://t.co/l0LNtx7yjW pic.twitter.com/uMMdEdLBFL
— NBC Los Angeles (@NBCLA) December 18, 2013
#Pfeifferfire: Big Sur blaze burns 769 acres, 20 percent contained (updated, photos) http://t.co/ed4n4BchMO pic.twitter.com/z6qy3AVT68
— 89.3 KPCC (@KPCC) December 18, 2013
NASA satellite captured an image of smoke from the wildfire near Big Sur, Calif. http://t.co/nHJhyi7nt0 #PfeifferFire pic.twitter.com/X2k8qQHE6d
— NBC Bay Area (@nbcbayarea) December 18, 2013
As Mother Jones points out, seven out of the state's ten largest fires have occurred after 2000, and California's wildfire season ends October 31. While not particularly devastating relative to other fires, the Pfeiffer fire is a signal of the lengthening of wildfire season, from 5 months in the 1970s to more than seven now.
December 18, 2013
Baucus Will Be Nominated as the Next Ambassador to China
AP Democratic Senator Max Baucus of Montana is the Obama administration's pick to be the next Ambassador to China. Baucus has already announced that he would not seek reelection in 2014—he began serving as senator 35 years ago in 1978—and currently heads up the Finance Committee, where he's been pushing aggressively for tax code reform.
Baucus is also known as a chief architect of the Affordable Care Act, and foresaw the muddy communications issues that currently plague the law's rollout. He also co-authored the 2001 Bush tax cuts.
Baucus was chosen, reports The New York Times, due to:
his efforts to bring down trade barriers between China and the United States and his insistence that “China play by internationally accepted rules” regarding currency, intellectual property, labor and human rights.
Baucus early exit before the midterm elections could help Democratic chances of holding on to his contested seat. It would allow Democratic Governor Steve bullock to appoint Lieutenant Governor John Walsh to Baucus's seat, letting Walsh build up an incumbency before voting day.
In terms of the Senate Finance Committee, West Virginia Democrat Jay Rockefeller would be next in line to take over.
Angel Haze Leaked Her Album So That Her Label Would Finally Sell It
Angel Haze performing at Lollapalooza 2013. (AP) A casual observer might say that the most surprising musical release in the past seven days was Beyoncé's new album, but those people would be wrong—at least Beyonce's record label knew about it. On Wednesday morning, fed up with constant delays, up-and-coming rapper Angel Haze leaked her own album, Dirty Gold, online without the consent of her label, Island Records
Leading up the leak, Haze expressed her frustration in a series of tweets, writing in part, "It's so annoying that my label could tell me that if I f***ing finished my album before the summer it would be out this year," and "I did not promise an album and not deliver, unlike every fucking one else. I sat my ass down and came up with this music WHEN I HAD NOTHING."
So she uploaded the album to SoundCloud.
Since they don't want to put it out this year, I will. Here's the album. HERE IS DIRTY GOLD. I hope you all enjoy it. http://t.co/MPmWL4AhoP
— Ala$ka Yxxng (@AngelHaze) December 18, 2013
Haze's SoundCloud page has been crucial to her success online. Back in October, Flavorwire asserted that her 30 Gold freestyle-a-day project made her the most important rapper of the year.
Within an hour of showing up online, the album had disappeared again, likely pulled with a copyright claim from Island. For a while, it seemed that Haze had lost the battle, and would have to wait again until her original March release date.
Then earlier tonight, Haze put out another series of updates:
My labels didn't think that I would do it, but I did. It's hard to put at risk everything I've spent this year working on but I had to
— Ala$ka Yxxng (@AngelHaze) December 19, 2013
For both me and you guys. No one should ever be afforded the opportunity to fuck with your dreams. REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY ARE.
— Ala$ka Yxxng (@AngelHaze) December 19, 2013
They do not own you or your faith or your future and because of what you guys helped me show them.
— Ala$ka Yxxng (@AngelHaze) December 19, 2013
My labels have agreed to release Dirty Gold December 30th. Uk & US. (Rest of the world, we are coming for you as well). Thank you all. Night
— Ala$ka Yxxng (@AngelHaze) December 19, 2013
It's coming in just under the wire, but it looks like Haze's album will be out this year.
'Data Brokers' Are Collecting and Selling Some Very Private Information About You
Shutterstock Have you been to a gynecologist in the last 12 months? Ever been treated for depression? Have you been raped? Data brokers may very well know about it and are selling that information to marketers in a largely unregulated $156 billion industry.
A Senate Committee released a 36-page report today and had a hearing on its findings, which showed that the data brokerage industry -- which isn't new but has more ways than ever to collect information on us -- could be, in the words of Sen. Jay Rockefeller, more worrisome than the NSA.
Things like your credit score and medical records are not available to data brokers under federal law, but "e-credit scores" are not covered by those laws, nor are products you might buy to treat a health condition over the counter or searches you may perform about health conditions online (or searches you perform about ANYTHING online). You may not know that this information was provided to a data broker, and there's no way to find out what information, if any, a data broker has on you. It may not even be accurate, which explains why I kept getting mail from that weird matchmaking service when I was in second grade.
While the data brokers say the information is used to put people in very general profiles such as "sports enthusiast" or "avid traveler," the World Privacy Forum found a list of rape victims for sale at one data broker (the link now goes to an "updating" page. Maybe it's a coincidence! Or maybe MEDbase200 decided it would be best to take its services offline for a while until this all blows over).
Most of the time, the data is used for marketing purposes. That can include predatory lenders looking for people who fall into the "hard times" or "rural and barely making it" category. But there have been cases where it falls into worse hands. In October, for instance, it was reported that Experian sold Social Security numbers to an identity theft service posing as a private investigator.
And while data brokers are keen to have as much information as possible about you, they're not so thrilled when the tables are turned. Epsilon, for instance, declined to give the committee all the information it requested, saying: "We also have to protect our business, and cannot release proprietary competitive information."
Epsilon's databases include people who are believed to have medical conditions such as anxiety, depression, diabetes, high blood pressure, insomnia, and osteoporosis, the Wall Street Journal reported.
The committee's report concludes:
As data brokers are creating increasingly detailed dossiers on millions of consumers, it is important for policymakers to continue vigorous oversight to assess the potential harms and benefits of evolving industry practices and to make sure appropriate consumer protections are in place.
Rockefeller was more emphatic than that during the hearing, saying:
We need to probe deeply and then we need to do something about [data broker] practices. We'll continue on this track. It's the dark underside of American life.
Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog
- Atlantic Monthly Contributors's profile
- 1 follower
