Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 832

A Skeptical Fifth Circuit Hears a Challenge to Texas's New Abortion Law

AP

The Fifth Circuit court of appeals heard oral arguments for and against Texas's new restrictive abortion laws on Monday. Given the court's pretty consistent record against reproductive rights, the day went more or less as one might expect: the Fifth Circuit, which overturned a lower court's decision to halt the law from going into effect as it's appealed, seems likely to side with the state over the constitutionality of the controversial measure. 

The lawsuit in question challenges just a portion of the law's provisions: a requirement that doctors who perform abortions have admitting privileges as a hospital within 30 miles of their clinic, and another measure restricting drug-induced abortions. District Judge Lee Yeakel sided with plaintiffs in October, writing that the admitting privileges restriction was "without a rational basis, and places a substantial obstacle in the path of a woman seeking an abortion of a non-viable fetus."Texas argues that the new laws protect women's safety. 

Arguably the most dramatic effect of the admitting privileges requirement is visible in the Rio Grande valley, as Lindsay Beyerstein reported on earlier on Monday. The only two clinics in the region closed because of the requirement, meaning women there must travel hundreds of miles in order to access a clinic in San Antonio. This, the plaintiffs argue, creates an undue burden on women seeking an abortion in that region.

During Monday's hearing, Judge Edith Jones of the three-judge Fifth Circuit was pretty skeptical of the plaintiffs' case, taking particular issue with the hardship of women who must now travel hundreds of miles for the procedure. She also took some time to make jokes about an estimate from abortion rights activists that about a third of the clinics in the state could close under the law. The Dallas News reports: 

She also pointed out that while abortion rights groups argued more than one-third of the doctors would have to quit practicing because of the new law, some of those doctors have been able to obtain admitting privileges. She asked Crepps if she would inform the court when more doctors get privileges, adding cryptically, “or have you notified the New York Times?”

Twelve of the state's 34 clinics closed when the new law went into effect in November, about a third of the state's abortion-providing facilities. Since then, three clinics have re-opened as doctors gain admitting privileges. Should Texas's law stand, the number will continue to fluctuate. While it's likely that even more doctors will gain the required admitting privileges, clinics will face a new requirement to operate as an ambulatory surgical center by September 2014. 

The Louisiana-based appeals court will now review the case and make a decision on both the admitting privileges and drug-induced abortion restrictions. The court gave no indication of how long it would take to release its findings in the case, which could very well be headed for consideration at the Supreme Court. 

       

Girl Does Not Watch 'A Christmas Story,' Gets Stuck to Flag Pole

Life imitates art (MGM)

Here is what traditional Christmas television teaches us: don't let stupid Uncle Billy handle your business' money EVER; always pick the tiny real tree over the giant aluminum ones because tree murder is part of the Christmas spirit; and for God's sake don't lick flag poles when it's really cold outside.

Unfortunately for Maddie Gilmartin, she chose not to watch at least one of those Christmas classics, and now she has paid dearly.

Last Thursday, Gilmartin got her tongue stuck to a flagpole. 

Gilmartin, who, at 12, is well old enough to have watched A Christmas Story at least 15 times, decided "on a whim" to lick a flag pole. ("No 'sinister triple dog dare'" local TV station WMUR noted in its brilliant sub-headline.)

"It just kind of popped into my head, 'Hey what would happen if I stuck my tongue to a flag pole?'" Gilmartin told WMUR. "At the moment, I was like, it will come right off."

Gilmartin thought this because, as the report noted, she's never seen A Christmas Story. Her tongue did not come right off. It was stuck to the pole for a good 15 minutes, as she waved her arms trying to attract the attention of her father, who may or may not own a lamp shaped like a woman's leg.

It'll be six weeks before the swelling in poor Maddie Gilmartin's mouth goes down, which is nothing compared to how long it will take her classmates to stop making fun of her for being on the local news for licking a flag pole. 

Meanwhile, Boston's WCVB tweeted the story twice, once with a "breaking" hashtag and phone alert:

Local girl gets tongue stuck to flag pole http://t.co/YcwXzGZDYr

— WCVB-TV Boston (@WCVB) January 5, 2014

Local girl gets tongue stuck to flag pole http://t.co/YcwXzGZDYr #breaking

— WCVB-TV Boston (@WCVB) January 5, 2014

It later apologized:

We'd like to apologize for sending an alert on a story about a girl who got her tongue stuck on a pole.

— WCVB-TV Boston (@WCVB) January 5, 2014

A technical error triggered the alerts to our WCVB app and twitter feed. We apologize.

— WCVB-TV Boston (@WCVB) January 5, 2014

Uh huh. Perhaps Gilmartin, too, can blame her flag pole tasting on a "technical error."

 

       

Steubenville Rapist Ma'lik Richmond Has Been Released

AP

Ma'lik Richmond, who was found "delinquent" in last March's Steubenville rape case, has been released from an Ohio juvenile detention facility, WTRF reports.

In part of his statement, Richmond's lawyer, Walter Madison, praised his client's courage in the face of the unimaginable hardship (or "hardness," as Madison put it) of being a 16-year-old convicted rapist:

The past sixteen months have been extremely challenging for Ma'Lik and his extended family. At sixteen years old, Ma'Lik and his family endured hardness beyond imagine for any adult yet alone child. He has persevered the hardness and made the most of yet another unfortunate set of circumstances in his life.

There was no mention of the 16-year-old Richmond was sent to jail for raping, nor any hardships she may have faced when, in an "unfortunate set of circumstances," Richmond and his football teammate Trent Mays sexually assaulted her. Richmond and Mays' victim's lawyer, Bob Fitzsimmons, noted this in his statement:

Although everyone hopes convicted criminals are rehabilitated, it is disheartening that this convicted rapist's press release does not make a single reference to the victim and her family - whom he and his co-defendant scarred for life. One would expect to see the defendant publicly apologize for all the pain he caused rather than make statements about himself. Rape is about victims, not defendants. Obviously, the people writing his press release have yet to learn this important lesson.

Richmond was sentenced to one year in a juvenile facility -- the minimum he could have received. He began serving his time on April 1. How nice for him that he got out early.

Madison has appealed the verdict, arguing that Richmond's brain wasn't "fully developed" enough to know that what he was doing was wrong, and therefore he should not have to register as a sex offender.

In November, a grand jury indicted four adults -- including Steubenville High School's superintendent Michael McVey -- for their role in the case (they plead not guilty last month). It's not over yet.

 

       

One Dead, Two Injured After Plane 'Exploded' at Aspen Airport

AP

One person died and two others suffered injuries after a private plane landing at an Aspen airport "exploded into flames," according to witnesses. 

The Denver Post reports a twin-engine business Canadair CL-600-2B16 Challenger crashed while attempting to land on the runway at Aspen-Pitkin County Airport around 12:45 p.m. local time Sunday. Per the Aspen Times, Pitkin County Sheriff Joe DiSalvo confirmed at least one person died in the crash; two others were injured, one severely. The victims have not yet been identified. The Post says the plane is registered to the Bank of Utah. Emergency crews raced to the scene.

Pictures of the plane after the fire was extinguished are terrifying. It's a wonder anyone survived: 

#BREAKING: Fiery plane crash at Aspen Airport - http://t.co/dHhmQRDR2c VIEWER PHOTO: pic.twitter.com/yXRtXZOQVe

— 7NEWS Denver Channel (@DenverChannel) January 5, 2014

Aspen Journalism photo of the jet that crashed today in #Aspen, taken on the runway about 2:45 p.m. pic.twitter.com/oYkikBtBMf

— Aspen Journalism (@AspenJournalism) January 5, 2014

Weirdly, many found out about the crash on Twitter from an unlikely pair of celebrities: Kevin Nealon and Leann Rimes. Aspen is a popular getaway for the rich and famous during the holiday season, and the former Saturday Night Live cast member and country singer were both at the airport."So sad! Horrible plane crash we just saw happen at the Aspen airport," she tweeted. "Horrible plane crash here at Aspen airport,” he said. “Exploded into flames as it was landing.” 

The crash capped off a horrible weekend in aviation. As if the seemingly endless number of snowstorms over the holidays didn't make travelling enough of a headache, a plane had to make an emergency landing in New York City on Saturday after abruptly losing power. (The pilot of that flight may or may not have been busted for cheating on his wife as a result.) Earlier Sunday, a plane at JFK slid off a runway due to icy conditions, shutting down the airport for hours. 

       

What Is Cooler than 'Frozen'?

Welcome to the Box Office Report, where "the marked ones" is how we usually refer to our underwear drawer. 

1. Frozen (Beuna Vista): $20.7 million in 3,318 theaters 

Oh, the answer to the headline is "ICE COLD." After six long weeks, Frozen finally climbed to the top of the heap. Oh, wait, it was already on top at the beginning of December? And movies usually never reign at the box office six weeks after wide release? January is always a strange month, but also Frozen is a juggernaut. Disney's latest passed the $600 million mark globally this week, and it's barely slowing down. 

2. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (Paramount): $18.2 million in 2,867 theaters

The latest Paranormal Activity movie, while still cheap with its $5 million budget, had the worst opening of any entry in the franchise, probably because it was not released around Halloween like the others, and it was so cold this weekend. No one goes to the movies when it's cold, right? 

3. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Buena Vista): $16.2 million in 3,730 theaters

I need a New York Times investigation like this one on how to properly pronounce "Godot," but for "Smaug." Is it "sma-ow-g," or "sm-ah-g"? Lord of the Rings nerds, please don't judge me too harshly. 

4. American Hustle (Sony): $13.4 million in 2,557 theaters 

Starting to believe David O. Russell is not actually a great director, but he discovered that crowds are easily amused by dance scenes. Hustle? Two dance scenes. Silver Linings Playbook? More dance scenes than you can count. The Fighter? Well, boxing is kind of like dancing, right? Just go with it. 

5. Wolf of Wall Street (Paramount): $13.2 million in 2,518 theaters

Imagine if this movie was actually about an Animorph working on Wall Street. Box office records would perish and the Oscars would be cancelled. 

       

Romney Accepts Apology; Paul Suggests Clapper and Snowden Share a Jail Cell

Fox

Mitt Romney forgave an MSNBC host who apologized for saying mean things about his children. During his appearance on Fox News Sunday, the former Republican presidential nominee accepted Melissa Harris-Perry's apology for comments she made about his adopted black grandchild during a segment last week. "I think people recognize, and the folks at MSNBC who have apologized recognize, people like me are fair targets: If you get in the political game, you can expect incoming," Romney said on Sunday. "For children, that's beyond the line. I think they understand that and feel that as well. I think it's a heartfelt apology, and I think for that reason we hold no ill will whatsoever." On Saturday, she offered a tearful mea culpa for her insensitive jokes. "We love this little guy a great deal. He was an answer to prayers. We love that he's part of our family," Romney said. "I recognize people make mistakes. The folks at MSNBC made a big mistake. They apologized for it. That's all we can ask for. I'm going to move on from that. I'm sure they want to move on from that."

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul thinks Edward Snowden and director of National Intelligence James Clapper would look smashing in matching orange jumpsuits. "Maybe if they served in a prison cell together, we'd be further enlightened as a country over what we should and shouldn't do," Paul said on ABC's This Week. The Republican with presidential aspirations gave his thoughts about, among other things, allowing Snowden to return to the U.S. Paul said he thinks Snowden deserves a long prison sentence, but not the death penalty, or life in prison. "So James Clapper did break a law and there is a prison sentence for that. So did Edward Snowden," he said. "I don't think Edward Snowden deserves the death penalty or life in prison. I think that's inappropriate. And I think that's why he fled, because that's what he faced." 

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Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker said on CNN's State of the Union he supports reinstating the emergency unemployment benefits program that lapsed over the holidays, but only if the program is modified. "Any discussion on this should be on what reforms can we make," the Republican said, urging tighter restrictions on those eligible for benefits. "Whether it's unemployment compensation or food stamps, we should require job training so that if a job becomes available, they've got their gear ready to get in the game."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid thinks there's enough Republican support in the Senate to pass the unemployment benefits bill without any restrictions, though. "There's 55 of us, and there's 45 of them," Reid said on CBS's Face the Nation. "It would seem to me that five Republicans in the Senate should agree with the Republicans around the country. Republicans around America want us to do something to extend these benefits. Why? Because it's good for the economy. It's good for the country." Reid said one Republican who supports the bill is not "some maverick that is out spewing socialism," but instead a right-wing politician who believes, like Reid, that unemployment benefits are necessary for the American people. "Hopefully, hopefully we can get four more Republicans," Reid said. "Gee whiz, I mean ... this is something ... we've never stopped unemployment benefits." Reid rebuffed any notion of expanding filibuster reform so passage of this bill would come easier."We're not there yet," he said. "I'm not thinking about that today."

       

Man Tweets While Trapped During New York Apartment Fire

Twitter: @NYCFireWire

On Sunday morning, firefighters battled a three-alarm fire in Manhattan that left at least one man, with his wife and child, stranded many floors above. He tweeted his experience. 

Gothamist reports the three-alarm fire in the West 43rd Street building, between 10th and 11th Avenues, started around 11 a.m. Sunday morning. Over 100 firefighters were on the scene and expecting injuries from the blaze, according to ABC7. 

A building on fire is a terrifying experience no matter what floor you're on. From high up in his Manhattan apartment building, Mickey Atwal documented his struggle to find safety in his Hell's Kitchen apartment, on Twitter, while a fire roared below him. He was stuck on the 26th floor with his wife and two-year-old child. 

Stuck on building on 26 floor. Building on fire. pic.twitter.com/c5bDvWke0x

— Mickey Atwal (@MickeyAtwal) January 5, 2014

Still stuck. Too much smoke on hallways. Elevators not working. Standing in balcony with wife and 2yr old.

— Mickey Atwal (@MickeyAtwal) January 5, 2014

Thankfully it seems that firefighters are now on the scene, and that Atwal and his family are safe:

Firemen here in our hallway. Telling us to stay put. Looks like fire started a few floors below. Family safe and in good spirits

— Mickey Atwal (@MickeyAtwal) January 5, 2014

Which is wonderful news considering how scary the pictures and videos of the blaze are that circulated on social media:

Manhattan *75-0798* #FDNY pic.twitter.com/K6zJUuUXJP

— NYC Fire Wire (@NYCFireWire) January 5, 2014

Developing: FDNY On Scene Of West Midtown High-Rise Fire http://t.co/5FX5zNhOgh via @npr @wnyc @bbc #manhattan #fire pic.twitter.com/nRM5jVhHls

— Rocky (@RockyTayeh) January 5, 2014

 

       

Kansas City Is Not Taking Another Depressing NFL Playoff Loss Well

AP

After placing last in the NFL with a 2-14 record in 2012, the Kansas City Chiefs should be proud of 2013's 11-5 season, and making the playoffs. But the city and its newspapers are not dealing well with the team's crushing Saturday playoff loss. 

Everything was going according to plan. The Chiefs were up 31-10 over the Indianapolis Colts at halftime during Saturday's wildcard playoff game, and the team's offense was firing on all cylinders. Runningback Jamal Charles, the Chief's biggest offensive weapon, went down with an injury, but quarterback Alex Smith was having the best game of his year. He had two huge 60+ yard completions during the first half, after throwing only one during the regular season.

The Chiefs scored early in the second half, giving the team a 28 point, possibly insurmountable lead. But then things dramatically changed. The Colts came all the way back to win the game in the final two minutes, 46-44. This happened despite Colts quarterback Andrew Luck throwing three interceptions.

Now the tortured sports town must cope with disappointment, again, after a year when hopes were high and things seemed so promising. The Kansas City Star's Sam Mellinger tried his best to reconcile what happened with the team's history of incompetence. The results are depressing, to say the least: 

The Chiefs In The Playoffs is once again a cruel way to begin a joke around Kansas City. Nationally, they are again the NFL’s version of henchmen, anonymous extras in someone else’s highlight. They’ve now suffered excruciating playoff losses to three generations of Colts quarterbacks.

A younger generation of Chiefs fans who can’t remember The No Punt Game and only heard about Lin Elliott now have a gut-punch of their very own. A franchise playoff history that reads like a torture device is now updated for the Millennials. They can call their grandfathers and argue over whether the Colts scoring on a fumble off a lineman’s helmet is worse than Jan Stenrud missing three field goals against the Dolphins on Christmas.

[...]

Only one team has gagged a bigger lead in the playoffs, which in the cruelest twist of all is the only way an otherwise inspired season could be tainted. The only way to overshadow one of the great one-year turnarounds in league history is to drool away one of the biggest leads in NFL playoff history.

Mellinger's whole game report is a masterwork of tortured sports fandom. He is the friend you know not to call for a few hours after a big loss.

But Mellinger's editor perhaps did an even better job summing up the feelings of a heartbroken city: 

Editor (Drunk?): The sports cover of the KC Star today pic.twitter.com/WHa2qe6eAl

— Don Van Natta Jr. (@DVNJr) January 5, 2014

That's one way to deal with your feelings.

       

New York Will Legalize Medical Marijuana This Week

AP

Too bad weed is not cool, because New York will finally catch up to the 20 other states (and D.C.!) with medical marijuana laws this week when Gov. Andrew Cuomo gives his State of the State address. 

The New York Times first reported that Cuomo will announce an executive action on Wednesday making medical marijuana legal for patients with serious illnesses, under strict conditions. The New York Daily News and the New York Post both confirmed the announcement. 

New York was never going to have medical weed laws as relaxed as, say, California, where anxiety or a back ache will get you a prescription. As detailed to the Times, the Daily News and the Post, Cuomo's strict plan will grant 20 as-yet-undetermined hospitals across New York the right to distribute and prescribe medical marijuana. Patients suffering from "life threatening" or "sense threatening" illnesses like cancer or glaucoma who comply with standards set by the New York State Department of Health will be given the right to smoke. 

But the interesting thing about the plan is how, exactly, Cuomo is legalizing weed. Cuomo is activating powers granted to him through an existing but rarely enforced 1980 provision in public health law named for a former city councillor who used marijuana to deal with his illnesses. Per the Times: 

In taking the matter into his own hands, the governor is relying on a provision in the public health law known as the Antonio G. Olivieri Controlled Substance Therapeutic Research Program. It allows for the use of controlled substances for “cancer patients, glaucoma patients, and patients afflicted with other diseases as such diseases are approved by the commissioner.”

"The provision, while unfamiliar to most people, had been hiding in plain sight since 1980," the Times says. Medical weed has technically been legal for years. 

Right now it's impossible to say when the state will start dolling out prescriptions, but the Times reports Cuomo hopes it will happen within the year. It seems timely to mention that Cuomo is up for re-election in November, and rumors of a feud with the "It" progressive, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio, have circled the New York politicians recently. 

       

NBC 'Tonight Show' Ad Sweeps Conan O'Brien Under the Rug

In real life, Conan O'Brien hosted NBC's Tonight Show from June 1, 2009 to January 22, 2010. NBC barely remembers that, though. 

The Tonight Show has aired on NBC since 1954, with five hosts — Steve Allen, Jack Parr, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien. On February 17, the sixth Tonight Show host, Jimmy Fallon, will make his long-awaited debut.

To pack the show's entire history into a one minute and five second advertisement would be next to impossible. But you would think NBC would lend more than a combined 1.5 seconds to Conan O'Brien, the last guy who replaced Jay Leno, in their new television spot. His face appears once for a split second: 

In case you missed it:

See, he's there! NBC doesn't even let O'Brien complete his clap before swiping to the next frame. O'Brien appears for that single, glorious second. Later, his name appears when NBC chronologically lists the show's hosts. Instead of the proper host order — Allen, Parr, Carson, Leno, O'Brien, Leno — NBC opted to list them like so: Allen, Parr, Carson, O'Brien and then Leno, as if Leno has only hosted since March 2010. 

That's not how history works, guys. Though, credit where it's due: at least NBC remembered to mention O'Brien at all.