Crystal Bowling's Blog, page 2

reasons to preorder With a Twist today.

So, I’ve been trying to put together this post for the past couple days. My new book, With a Twist, is available for download on Amazon on Tuesday, January 13. You can preorder it now though. Which is pretty baller, right? Bitches be able to preorder my book and all.

By the by, I don’t consider you all bitches. You are all lovely and wonderful and we should totes go out for a drink sometime.

If you’re uneasy about preordering a book you know nothing about, then let me put your mind at ease. Che...

brace yourself… with a twist is coming.

I’m not competing in NaNoWriMo this year. I should. I have several books that I want to work on and nothing makes me want to abandon one project for another just to drop it for something else quite like NaNo. I don’t always get 50,000 words down in a month, but I average about 25,000 between three or four different stories.

It’s bizarre. I can commit to a book for four years (seriously. I have notes for Always the Last to Know that are dated almost four years before I published it; the same is...

the main character of my next book did an interview, y’all.

Today is National Bourbon Day.

via KentuckyKicksAss.com

Seriously. It’s a thing.

I don’t know how it originated, but I’m going to imagine that Kentucky started this shit. I mean, there are more barrels of bourbon in Kentucky than there are people. It would only make sense that the people who are out to gain money from bourbon would be the ones to start a holiday encouraging people to drink bourbon.

Myself, I’ve never liked bourbon. I tried it when I was younger and never could get a taste for it....

amazon purchases, action figures, and chris evans’ ass.

I wonder if there’s someone at Amazon who has the job of looking at people’s recent orders and just keep their eyebrow raised at the combination of shit people buy.

People like me.

My last three purchases from Amazon have been a cordless phone, a pair of over-the-knee red faux letter boots, and a Jane Austen action figure.

I have reasons for each item, but even I’m like, “the fuck, Crystal?”

The cordless phone is for work. If I hadn’t bought it off the internet, I would have sworn it was 1998 all...

it’s been almost 150 years and i’m still not over little women.

Okay. So I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged about this before, but I’m still not over it. And I’m having trouble with the book I’m working on and am avoiding it for a bit so… blog post!

Let me start off with saying that I haven’t read the novel Little Women since fifth or sixth grade (I graduated college in 2008 if you want perspective on how long ago fifth grade was for me), so I’m basing most of this on the movie with Wynona Ryder and Christian Bale and that one episode of Friends where Joey ends...

crystal crafts some shit, v.2

Can I just point out that I don’t know where in the hell 2013 has gone? People aren’t kidding when they tell you that time goes by faster as you get older.

Middle school, though? That shit lasts forever.

I only have one real resolution for 2014 (eating better and working out more are just assumed, right?). My real resolution for 2014 is to seriously cut back on buying clothing made in countries other than America.

And this isn’t some patriotic “‘Merica fuck yeah!” kind of thing. I mean, yay for...

that awkward moment when you realize that you’re a snl character.

I tend to have a lot of free time.

By all accounts, I shouldn’t have a lot of free time because I work a full-time job, am working on approximately five books, and have a small amount of good friends who I like to not ignore. But the fact remains that I have enough free time to think about the important things in life.

Like who I’d be friends with if I were ever to be famous.

I’m pretty much Mary Katherine Gallagher.

So, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided that my two closest celebrity friends w...

crystal crafts some shit (working title).

I bought a sewing machine a couple of years ago. The reason why escapes me now. It was probably something along the lines of “Oh my God, I have a tax refund and I must get rid of it immediately because I don’t know how to properly handle money and what the eff is a savings account? That just sounds silly. Internet, find me something ridiculous and costly to purchase. Sewing machine? That’ll do.”

That’s pretty much the noise in my brain all the time. It’s horrible, I know.

Within the past year o...

past life wizards, serial killers, and skippyjon jones.

According to this psychic my mom saw a few months back, the ideas for my books aren’t ideas so much as they are past life memories.

Now, you can laugh at that if you want. I won’t judge. As long as you don’t judge me believing in past lives. Because I kind of do. I like the whole idea of it, minus the part where I probably died a horrible Bubonic Plague death during one of those past lives.

I’m telling you this story because, you know what, I feel a little cheated. Maybe in my most recent past...

john mayer and the incredible hulk just gave me an idea for my next book. not really. or maybe really.

I had a weird dream last night.

And, I know you’re all “Yeah, we’ve all had weird dreams. Real original blog content, Crystal. Are you sure this just isn’t a desperate ploy to keep WordPress from deleting your blog for inactivity?”

(I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’ve made you sound so mean and cynical. I’m sure you’re lovely and supportive.)

But, no. I am the Queen of Weird Dreams. When I was in middle school, I had a very intense dream wherein I was being chased by a word. And do you want to know...