Asrai Devin's Blog, page 20

Pay your dues

I first read on Tribal Writer about the book "How to be a Highschool Superstar" by Cal Newport but she also introduced me to deliberate practice and having depth. It has taken me a year to really understand these things.

I subscribed to Cal's blog Study Hacks (don't you love how you can link to blogs you read, and use first names as if you were a close personal friend). His latest post was about sticking to your big ambition, but not chasing your big idea.

In my experience, students have been taught to place way too much importance on having the courage to follow their passions and change the world, and not nearly enough importance on having the persistence to first build the needed ability to both find concrete projects that matter and accomplish them.

 I just pondered this idea in an email where a friend and I were discussing following your hobby to a job and the 10 years/10,000 hour rule. And I finally understand what Mr. Newport was saying, you have to pay your dues and learn the ropes and become good at something, one thing. You have to acquire depth in a given area and then you can have anything you want.

I want to be a famous author. You don't just get to snap your fingers and do that. You have to pay your dues. You have to write a lot of words. And the new thing is social media and blogging. Blogging creates good habits, it gets your name into the world, and creates readership. 

Kristen Lamb teaches writers to stop blogging about themselves or about writing. She has great information about how to pay your dues as a writer and build your audience. Few authors get to snap their fingers and get a top agent, great first contract and have their book take off on the best seller lists everywhere. It's a slow progression.

Everyone has to pay their dues with hardwork and time. I dont' mean spending 18 hours a day on Twitter, I mean just slogging it day after day. No one rose from mail room to CEO in a day, nor did anyone start out making $1000 an hour for coaching fees.  We all have to apprentice. Too many people, myself included, jump around from idea to idea and wind up spinning our wheels and never achieving anything.

I'm paying my dues. Are you paying your dues or you still expect success to magically occur?

Interspiration #121711

@MelindaVan on trying new foods. You might like it! http://bit.ly/ujh4LS

@GingerCalem Ruthless decluttering and garage sale success. http://bit.ly/u3Cll9

Calm down corner from my favorite parenting blog http://bit.ly/tlZb3w I link to this blog on Yahoo Answers at least once a day.

Shannon Esposito's dog Abbey takes on a rabbit question http://bit.ly/tlZb3w

@JillianDodd I can't decide who has the best eyes.. someone vote for me. http://bit.ly/rBfU64

@SJDriscoll I long for the pretty too. http://bit.ly/rBfU64

@KaraFlathouse A beautiful letter to her 17 year old self. http://bit.ly/tELZJh

@Diana_Murdock  A stranger is only a stranger until you learn their name. http://bit.ly/snapkY

Check out Samantha Warren's blog scavenger hunt. I'm working on my post for her as we speak. http://www.samantha-warren.com/

Lena Corazon gives us her reflections of a novel writing sociologist as she wraps up NaNo and her MA thesis. http://bit.ly/vZNfxY

 

Useless records

I recall pouring over Guinness Book of World Records at various times in the 90s. Some of the records were interesting, some were funny and some you just wondered why people would do that.

I give you a 10 of the most useless records on RecordSetter.com.

10. Most times kicked self in the head in 15 seconds.

I just really dont know what to say.He did it 24 times.

9. Most x-box cases balanced on a head.

As opposed to DVD cases, Wii cases or any other type of plastic case. It is 11.

8. Largest Snapple Bottle Collection

As seen on A&Es Hoarders? 269

7.

Did you really need to share with the world you were in the newspaper 20 times? Not sure if letters to the editor should really count? And the Sun newspaper is closer to a tabloid then news printer.

6. Most pencil taps on a flute book

Im not impressed by this. No mention of a time limit. Do you just tap til you get bored or your hand cramps up? If I beat the record does it  have to be on a flute book?

5. Most URLs tattooed on a body

Should we be impressed by the way this guy ruined his body for no reason? I think a t-shirt with an advertisement would be a better way to get money. Besides URLs change so fast, half of those probably don't exist anymore.

4.Most graphic novels balanced on a head while wearing a Bobba Fett helmet.

I would be more impressed if it was encyclopedias. Although they don't make those anymore.

3.Largest pile of snails.

Where do you even get 56 snails from?

2. Most people jumping invisible rope

Well good for you, you lined up 31 of your friends in a hallway and you jumped at the same time. I'd be more impressed if they jumped an ACTUAL rope.

1. All of the Highest Score on any game on any level.

No one cares but you and your friends. I promise. Even Angry Birds.

Tagged: Asrai Devin, DVD, Guiness Book of World Records, Guinness World Records, Hoarders, Music, Newspaper, RecordSetter.com, Recreation, stupid, useless, video, Wii

Row 80 December 14 Check in

There are 11 or so days left in this Round of Words.  I'm already planning out my next goals. I'm a starter not a finisher. So I'm going to try  to focus on this rounds goals.

Write 5 days a week.

It took me two or three days after November to finish my NaNo project. It has to sit for a couple weeks before I start editing.

Blog at least 3 days a week.

I've got several Friday Fun posts set up in advance. My Mondays I don't have far in advance because the posts take longer to write up. The are more in-depth. Wednesdays cannot be set in advance as they are check ins. My Saturday mash-ups I do throughout the week, though an emphasis on the beginning and later in the week stuff gets lost. My new plan is to try to add 2-4 links per day. I may tweet more than I include in my mash-ups.

Twitter and social media 

This is a black hole for me. My main focus right now is on retweeting links to blogs. I am rarely connecting with people as in the beginning of October. I got out of  the habit in November when writing was the focus. Have to get back in.

Housekeeping Flylady Routines

It's hit and miss. I'm trying. Some days are better than others.

I'm reading Switch by Dan and Chip Heath, which is proving very interesting and shall spark some interesting blog posts I'm sure.

Goals, goals, goals

Leo Babuta from Zen Habits doesn't believe in them.

But most motivational self-help, life coach gurus will tell you they are necessary.

Cecil Alec Mace was the first to study and document goal setting. It was Edwin A. Locke who developed the goal setting theory we all use today.

If you've read any self-help goal setting books you may have seen that goals need to be SMART.

specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-targeted.

I recently was reading through Michael Neil's blog of coaching tips and I stumbled across a post about our inability to judge how long it will take us to do something (and I submit: or how much effort it will take us).

Once George pointed out this "hidden factor" to me, I began to see it everywhere. Actors who give up on their dreams after not becoming stars in their first 6 months in Hollywood. Coaches who can't understand why they're not making 6 figure incomes in their first two years in the business. Employees who aren't getting promoted on their time schedule and entrepreneurs who think if the world hasn't beaten a path to their door the day they opened it they must be doing something wrong.

 – The Hidden Factor in Failing to Reach your Goals

I have also read somewhere or heard him say (but I could not find a link) that people who strive for what they want are more likely to get what they want then people who strive for what they think they can get. Which makes the saying "Reach for the moon, if you miss at least you'll land amoung the stars," to be very sage advice.

Reaching your goals  might also depend on why you set them. The Preacher's Pen warns against setting goals for other people.

People set goals based on someone else's expectations – Some will set goals based on what others think they should do. There are many people who have lived their life because someone else thought they needed a certain career. For instance, I know people who were told they should be engineers and they are, but everyday the hate their job. They are only there because someone else said it would be good for them. Are the goals you are setting for yourself, your goals?

On the side of goal setting we have Jack Canfield who wrote many of my first self-help motivational books, Dare to Win and Aladdin Factor. He's also one of the giants behind Chicken Soup for the Soul.

In order to get what you want, you must first decide what you want. Most people really foul up at this crucial first step because they simply can't see how it's possible to get what they want — so they don't even let themselves want it.

Tagged: Asrain Devin, Cecil Alec Mace, Coaching, Edwin Locke, goal, goal setting, goals, Health, Jack Canfield, motivation, row80, tracking goals, writing goals, Zen Habits

Interspiration this week.

Kristy K. James introduces us to her son and a video that will probably make you cry. http://bit.ly/sV3otw This one is dear to my heart as I was an educational assistant and I have a niece with Down Syndrome. And in the video: Simon does have a heart.

Bob Mayer: Writing is the only art form that isn't sensual. http://bit.ly/tYvkOo

Speaking of all in your head. Passive Guy has some blog therapy for insecure writers. http://bit.ly/tY6eIN I would never fire an agent who makes excellent popcorn.

Don`t forget to check out Samantha Warren`s blog treasure hunt. http://www.samantha-warren.com/

Is it pessimism or realism? http://bit.ly/vLaOmv

Treat your inner critic like a drunk. From Nicole Maggi, good advice. http://bit.ly/updBzU

Lynette Burrows wonders if Man Caves even exist off TV. (And then I rant about in the comments about men spending time with their families). http://bit.ly/s2I25G



Tagged: Art, Asrai Devin, Blog, blog links, Bob Mayer, inner critic, mashup, Samantha Warren, self-help, Social bookmarking

Bond … James Bond

You can see Bond falling in love with her in this scene. She is the missing part of him. She is the part of him he gave up to become Bond, the missing part of him.

Women love Bond the same reason we love all womanizing bad boys. We want to rescue them. We want to be the one who makes them be good guys (well Bond is a good bad guy which makes him more appealing- he's on the right side of things).

And because we know he doesn't want to settle down with one woman, we believe we could change him and be that one woman.

It's a nice fantasy. But it sells a lot of romance novels.

I wrote the bad boy in Complications over Coffee. Everyone was dying for Corey's romance story. We all knew there would be a woman to tame him. But just how would she do it? And what was the secret he was hiding?

Who is your favorite bad boy that you'd love to turn good?

Tagged: Asrai Devin, bad boy, Bond, James Bond, James Bond romance, Romance, Romance novel, romance scene, romantic scene, Vesper Lynd

No project check in

Write 5 days a week.

So far so good. I`m am pretty well done my first draft of the last hockey novel. I`m planning my next project. *rubs hands together* but I think writing might take a back seat for a while, so I can plan. I guess planning counts as writing.

My ancillary goals to writing 5 days a week are as follows:

- Finish You Can't Choose Who You Love (working title)

I think this was an abandoned project. I wrote a novel I never meant to write instead.

- Finish edits on Hockey Novel #4

- THis is to be release after the novel above, so it will sit for a while longer.

- write Hockey Short Story #2 (possible)

i`m trying to get back into the mindset of an old character, but he`s so happy with life it`s unnatural. If you have any Corey interview questions, let me know.

- Blog as per course from Kirsten Lamb on Blogging

I am blogging and scheduling as ideas come to me. Monday is a general motivational, self-help, goals and dreams post. Tuesday is an occasional writery thing, Wednesday is Row80 Check in day, Friday is a fun day (usually a video), Saturday is mash-up day and Sunday is sometimes Row check in again.

Personal goals:

- Working social media during nap times as per We Are Not Alone

Slacking off on this. Naptime has often been video gaming. I`m serious about needing an intervention for Dragon Ages. I`m watching videos as I write this. I figured out why I love Anders. I love a man with angst and issues. It`s the teenager in me coming out. I don`t want all that drama in my life, but I am drawn to it.

- Flylady-type routines in the house to keep the house under control

Eh. It comes and goes. I need some sort of motivation just get the work done. Doing other stuff is so much more FUN. playing with children, Twitter, writing, blogging, video games.

Who are you? bio help

When I was an aspiring teenage writer who dreamt of the day I'd be a rich and famous author, I used to write my thank you pages out. I would thank boys I "loved" for inspiration. I would thank my friends and family. I would … be self-indulgent.

I never thought about my author bio.  And then I started self-publishing and I had to write one. So i slapped down some crap about writing since I was 2 years old and being married and living in the wilds of small town Canada. The typical stuff that you would find on the back cover of any novel you can pick up in AnyStore, Canada.

Then I found the social media for writer's expert Kristen Lamb and bought her book We Are Not Alone. And she introduced me to the "not so boring bio for fiction writers."

If it had been a letter it would have looked like this (I embellished a little):

Dear Spinner of Wonderous Tales and Enchanting Other Worlds,

Your bio is boring. No one cares what you dreamed of doing in first/eighth/twelfth grade or what job you quit to make it as a full-time author. Many writers grew up wanting to craft words. And you are now doing so while trying to make a living, but you've written a dry biography of your life. You make up STUFF for a living. You can be a little more creative with your bio. K Thanx Bye now.

I tried to write a more interesting bio. But I never found anything I loved. My current Twitter bio has had several positive comments (people like to read flawed characters).

I came across this wonderful post from Unicorns for Socialism about crafting your 15-second intro speech to make it more interesting.  She has 7 questions for you, which I combined with 100 things that I'm interested in list I made once upon a time. The post is more general for all business types who are trying to network, but if you put in "AUTHOR" as your answer to number one, it can easily be tailored.

Pick some more fun descriptive things you would say about yourself. She has a list of them on the website. I choose Maven (see the blog tagline) and magician. Who are writers if not magicians? Plus, several magicky things were on my list. (One of my dream jobs would be to read tarot cards).

What do your customer's want? In other words, for authors, why would your customer buy your book. What are you writing that interests them.

Mix all those things together and you have a bio. I think the process would also tailor nicely to taglines for author brands (see We Are Not Alone on why you should brand your author name, instead of your books or anything else).

If you've been struggling with your bio, this might give you a nudge to getting it done.

Do you have a biography that you love? Share it with us (and your process) in the comments.

Interspiration #3

The power of positive thinking from @ColeenPatrick  http://bit.ly/suVOct

An ode to thick thighs and squishy bellys (and other unperfect bodies). http://bit.ly/w3Z58h

@TameriEtherton learns a lesson the hard way. http://bit.ly/vwdphG

6 things you must know about sexuality. #1 Everyone is sexual http://bit.ly/tumKFv

What a 4 year old should know. #1 They are loved. http://bit.ly/tvafU7

@jenmariepowell on setting goals you can't miss. Sometimes it's okay to aim low if you are afraid. http://bit.ly/s4czpV

Write what you know in action by Prudence MacLeod. http://bit.ly/rSzXUw

How to be a Dad gives us the parenting calorie chart  http://bit.ly/vHM6V9

Tagged: Asrai Devin, Blog, blogging, blogshare, body image, Facebook, Human sexuality, Interspire, links, mashup, parenting, positive parenting, positive parents, positive thinking, respect, self image, Sexuality, sharing, Twitter