Alan Orloff's Blog, page 21

Nice Doorstop

I finished reading Stephen King's UNDER THE DOME last week. At more than 1000 pages, I was engrossed in the story, with the same cast of characters, for quite some time. Luckily, I enjoyed it.

But, after all that time invested, I wanted a really, really good ending. Unfortunately, I thought it fell a little short.

Without trying to give anything away, the book opens with a highly implausible event. So I guess I wasn't that surprised to have an ending which bordered on a deus et machina. Although to be fair, after the precipitating event, I'm not sure how he could have wrapped things up without pulling something out of his nether regions.

Anyway, like I said, I enjoyed the book. But I would have enjoyed it more with a different ending.

What book have you read where the ending left you a little flat? Did that stop you from reading that author's next book?

What's a Chapbook, Anyway?

Last weekend, the AWP (The Association of Writers & Writing Programs) Annual Conference was held in Washington, D.C. It consisted of four days full of panels, meetings, and drinking (or so I heard).

I skipped the panels, meetings, and drinking, and went to the Bookfair instead. I didn't count but there had to be close to a bazillion booths and table displays to check out. Being a "genre" writer, I never realized just how many literary journals, magazines, reviews, small presses, university presses, MFA programs, writing coops, and other related "literary" things existed.

I was astounded, to say the least.

It's nice to know there are a ton of fresh and innovative publishers/publications out there, both in print and on-line, providing outlets for creative writing of all stripes.

Kinda made me wish I was more creative.

About Last Night

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending the monthly MWA Mid-Atlantic Chapter meeting. Our speaker was publishing attorney Daniel Steven and he talked about the protection of intellectual property rights, the ebook revolution, and piracy. (Incidentally, he was for, neutral, and against.)

A few things I came away with:

With regard to ebooks, Steven described publishing as being at the "beginning of an era, like the wild, wild west." Much of the conflict between publishers and authors in the ebook arena comes from old laws/old contracts being applied against the new, digital world.

An example: For an older book, printed before ebooks even existed, there was no assignment of digital rights (obviously). So now, publishers claim that they own the rights and authors, of course, claim that they do. It's a murky area.

He advised writers that, right now, if you had to choose just one format to e-publish in, pick the Kindle.

Discussing piracy, Steven said that in a lot of cases, there's not much a writer can do, short of legal action. And even then, because many of the more organized pirate sites are off-shore, it's almost impossible to get anything done about it. He suggested that pricing your work at a certain (lower) price point might make pirating "not worth the effort or risk."

All in all, a very enlightening evening.

For more valuable information about publishing law, check out Daniel Steven's website.

YAC (Yet Another Contest)

I'm giving away a few books through Goodreads. Just click through to enter the drawing (and while you're there, add KILLER ROUTINE to your list of books to-be-read). Good luck!

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Goodreads Book Giveaway Killer Routine by Alan Orloff

Giveaway ends March 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Open Wide

You might be surprised to learn that I do not have any tattoos or piercings on my body. I have a deep aversion to "permanent"  "alterations" that affect my flesh and bones. (Yes, I know that piercing holes can close up and that you can get tattoos removed. But I don't even like "semi" "permanent" "alterations.")

I don't like stuff you can't change. I do not like permanent things.

As a kid, I shied away from permanent markers. I never wanted anything to go on my permanent record. And I know I dressed like a wrinkled mess, never having the courage to wear permanent press.

So I guess it's not shocking to reveal that I don't like going to the dentist. All that drilling and filling and yanking and clanking is permanent. (Other reasons include extreme discomfort and pain and the taste of Novocain.)

Unfortunately, that's where I am/was this morning. It's been at least 10 or 12 years since I've needed any dental work (besides a cleaning). I brush, I floss, I eat right, I whisper sweet—but not sugary—nothings to my molars. Despite my best efforts, though, I need some work done.

The worst part? I'll have to carry around those metal/ceramic pieces in my mouth for the rest of my life. I'll be forever altered, and that bums me out.

What does this have to do with writing?

Well, once a book gets published in print, it's "permanent." Can't be altered. Sure, you can change it in future editions or in the e-book version, but each printed book is permanent.

That's why, as a writer, you need to make your story as good as you possibly can. Sometimes, there are no second chances.

Zip It!

Today, I'm blogging on InkSpot about that nagging, nefarious voice in the back of my head. Pop on over and join the fray fun!

Thanks, Good Snowmaritans!

Last Wednesday, the Washington area had a "snow event." Here's the recipe for disaster: Combine a fast-dumping snowstorm with a DC area rush hour. Top it off with drivers who don't know how to drive in snow, then let the ingredients steep for a few hours.

Result: A ROYAL MESS.

My son and I left a doctor's appointment at 4:20 pm. to travel the fifteen miles home. (It had taken us about twenty-five minutes to get there at 3:00.) Guess how long it took us to get home. (Go on, guess.)

Two hours? No.

Three hours? Not even, uh, warm.

Four hours? No siree.

If you guessed six hours, you'd still be almost two hours SHORT!

That's right, almost eight hours later, we stumbled through the door into our dark and cold house (yes, the power had gone out).

Eight hours! It would have been faster if we'd walked the fifteen miles.

And the funny thing? It would have taken us a lot longer, if not for the help of six Good Snowmaritans.

We got stuck on three separate occasions. And each time, anonymous, good-hearted people stepped up and pushed us back into the fray.

So, thanks to the two guys on Jermantown Road, who were pushing all the cars up that incline.

Thanks to the guy who practically lifted the front end of our car out of that snowbank on Bennett Road.

Thanks to the lady who kept our car from sliding down the hill on Bennett.

And thanks to the two guys who got us going at the top of the hill on Bennett (Bennett Road has one killer hill, if you couldn't tell!).

Without your selfless assistance, I think my son and I would still be out there, somewhere, huddled together for warmth, waiting for Spring.

Thanks, Good Snowmaritans!

"Where's Alan?" Book Giveaway Contest

As I described in my last post, my picture will be riding around the mean streets of MD, VA, and DC. On Metrobus ads (inside, behind the driver, I believe).

To refresh your memory, here's what it looks like:

To further draw attention to myself have some fun, I'm holding a two-part book giveaway, sort of like a real-life Where's Waldo?Except yours truly will be playing the part of Waldo.

Here's how Part A works:

Simply email me a snapshot of my picture in the wild. That is, take a picture of one of the Metrobus ads for The Writer's Center that has my face on it. (You can send it to alan@alanorloff.com or post it on your Facebook wall and send me the link.) Try to get something/someone else in the picture, so we can get a sense of the Metrobus ambiance. If you can get someone else to take a picture of you next to my picture, all the better. Also, if you want to say approximately where you spotted me (ie, cross streets or bus line), that would be fun, too.

Now, I hear you asking, "What about a picture next to the diorama in the Woodley Park Metro Station during the first week of February? Does that count?"

And the answer is, "Yes. Yes, that counts, too!" I'll accept a picture of me in the advertisement for The Writer's Center pretty much anywhere you can find it (See? Isn't this a fun treasure-hunt contest?).

I'll put all the people who send me pictures into a hat (or other vessel), and pick a lucky winner. The winner can have his/her choice of DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD or the upcoming KILLER ROUTINE (but you'll have to wait a bit, until it's published).

I reserve the right to post the pictures you send in on my blog, website, Facebook page, or elsewhere. So, please, no nudity!

Now, I hear some of you saying, "Wait! I desperately want to participate in this superfun contest, but I don't live in the D.C. area. What can I do?"

You're in luck! I also will be giving away a book to another lucky person in Where's Alan? Part B. To be eligible for this part of the giveaway, simply email me a picture of yourself holding (or pointing to) a copy of DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD in a bookstore or library. I'll put the names of all the people who enter this way into a different hat (I'm a man who wears many hats) and draw a winner. Again, because I may post some of these pictures, please keep your clothes on.

Both parts of this contest will run through the end of February. Be sure to include your name and email address with your entry.

Happy Hunting! (And don't even think of drawing a moustache on my picture.)

Ahoy, Metrobus Riders!

ATTENTION BUS-RIDING CITIZENS OF OUR NATION'S CAPITAL

DO NOT BE ALARMED by the picture of a scruffy-looking individual staring back at you from an advertising poster behind the driver's seat. He is harmless.

I should know. I am that person.

What?!

Yes, it's true. My picture and quote are being used in an advertising campaign for The Writer's Center in Bethesda, MD (read past blog about what The Writer's Center has meant to me).

I take every opportunity to sing the praises of the Center, so when they asked if I'd like to participate in this awareness campaign, I said, "How high?" I'm thrilled (and honored) to be among the authors chosen.

The ads will be on select Metrobuses in Montgomery County, MD, Northern VA, and Northwest D.C. during the month of February.

A diorama, including me and the three other writers in this campaign, Patricia McArdle, Eugenia Kim, and Glen Finland, will be in the Woodley Park/Zoo Metro station (subway station, for you out-of-towners) during the first week of February, give or take.

Come back to the blog on Friday to learn about a fun and exciting contest involving mass transit, cameras, free books, and my face.

Late-breaking news: there already have been sightings!

What's On Tap

I figured that since I don't do much enough housekeeping in my house, I should at least do a little here on my blog.

I usually try to post three times a week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'll do my best to keep to that schedule, but this is going to be an especially busy six months or so (I know, I know, I say that often). In addition to my next book being released, and all the promotional effort associated with that, there's a joyous family event taking place.

Some things to watch for:

In the next week or so, I'll be announcing a fun and exciting contest/book giveaway. (At least I think it's fun and exciting.)

I'll also be holding a book giveaway on Goodreads, to be announced soon.

In a couple months, I'll be "embarking" on a blog tour to promote KILLER ROUTINE. I've already done the most important part, designing the tour logo:

As I finalize more dates, I'll be posting the entire blog tour schedule in the sidebar.

Also, I hope to host more guests on the blog this year. If you're interested, drop me an email!