Nikki Rosen's Blog, page 25

Peace

Linking with Charlotte Spiritual Sunday  and Laura Faith Filled Friday


"In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." Albert Camus 

First thing I did this morning was run to the window and look outside. Everything everywhere was white. It all looked magical and incredibly beautiful. 

Before it snowed yesterday I told a friend I couldn't wait for spring b/c I don't like winter....I hibernate too much...it's too cold to be out  long and I miss getting outside and feeling the earth and sky and sun....

And then it snowed. And snowed some more. And kept snowing. 

Sometimes in my life things have gotten so horribly tough and I just wanted it to change and I couldn't get  the purpose for all the pain and tough stuff? And then something incredible comes out of it.....and I'm left stunned and completely humbled. 

Whatever my lot....it is well my soul....

Thankful Thursday

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”  Shel Silverstein

Anything can happen!! Anything can be! I love this quote from Silverstein. I love it b/c it's true. I think of all the times people said to me....it won't happen. It can't. Let it go. Stop trying. 

And I think of all the times I refused to listen. Refused to give up.....refused to let go. Anything can happen! Anything can be!  This week grateful for.....

-friendship with the woman in my story...the one I wrote about and prayed to meet. There's a beautiful bond between the two of us. I think of all the people who told me I'd never find her.....He knew. And I refused to give up trying.
-friendship with the real hero in my story.....connecting with him has been a wonderful gift. And the neat thing....this summer I get to introduce him to the 'child' he rescued.
-got another cheque from Amazon...a reminder to always listen to my gut and take a risk..... 
-booked to speak at a mood disorder group in Sept and asked to run a workshop for them this spring. 
-mostly that He has made life so incredibly awesome. The awesome isn't about what 'things' I have or don't have....it's just this neat feeling inside that everything is as it's supposed to be.

Thankful Thursday

"Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You're done. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person. If you keep hitting back, you stay trapped in the nightmare..." Anne Lamott
I've learned that there are little things that help life run smooth.....things that make it easier....freer. Like forgiving someone who hurts me.....or takes something away that was important to me. 

But the thing is....at some point it stops being about them and becomes more about me and how I move in the world. 
Forgiving  - it's the key to unlock the chain of anger and frustration and hate. Forgiving gives me that  relief and helps pushe me to move forward. This week thankful for....
-gift of forgiveness. It's a powerful weapon that gives incredible peace -the ability to forgive all those people ever hurt me...No one can take anything from me unless I allow them. Sure they can take physical things but not the most important...not my heart...or hope or faith.-Choices.....I get to choose or not to let go of anything that keeps me weighted down. No one can force me...I alone have the power!-amazing people who tell me their stories and who inspire me to reach for my best and make healthier choices. Their courage to tell pumps me with courage too and reminds me I'm not the only one. Those are the bravest kindness people ever.
-And the best....He forgives me for everything. I've blown it so many times.....and yet His love is constant. Always there. Always with arms wide open. I want to be like Him. I want to live my life arms wide open....forgiving....letting go and free and loving.

Faith

Linking with  Charlotte at  Spiritual Sunday & Laura at Faith Filled Fridays

"I believe. 
I believe in the sun 
even when it's not shining. 
I believe in love 
even when I cannot feel it. 
I believe in God 
even when God is silent."
~found in a Jewish hiding place during the holocaust

Sometimes life isn't what I'd like it to be. Sometimes things happen that trip me up.....make me scratch my head....ask why? But too often....those whys are never answered.I've been learning....that no matter what....to just hold tight to Him and trust. It's what really defines the journey....my willingness to hold on and simply trust.  Many nights we prayed with no proof anyone could hear. But...we were moving mountains long before we knew we could. There can be miracles when you believe.
Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe 

Thankful Thursday

“Giving up doesn't always mean your weak sometimes you’re just strong enough to let go” Taylor Swift

Letting go of something is sometimes the best thing to do. And maybe the only thing. It could be an incredible strategy....letting go when the fight is consuming time...energy...and focus. And with that letting go...trusting that He's got everything under control. 

This week grateful for.....

-lessons learned the hard way. Sometimes I realize it's the only way I really get something. 
-the power of faith.....even in the down and hard stuff.....there are things I've discovered that brighten my world...jewels found (jew friendships) that are worth keeping.....
- the will to hold on and fight for what I believe.....and the wisdom to know when it's time to let go and let Him take it the rest of the way. 
-joy. It's wild. I wake up with it....There's often no other reason than that it's another day to live this amazing life I've been given. 
-God....He makes it all an awesome incredible journey. Even when I get down I can't stay down. It's like being in the dead sea....you can't drown. The salt makes you float. He makes me float when I don't know what to do. He carries me....sustains me.....It's the best feeling ever. 

The Cost

Linking with Charlotte at Spiritual Sunday  and Laura at Faith Filled Friday

"I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter.....and hold on to them...and fight for them, and refuse to let them go." Lauren Oliver

I think there's a fine thread between knowing when to hold on and when to let go.  Sometimes the things that matter most.....are things that make my heart bleed. The pain makes me hang on.....instead of letting go.

It's 'cause I can see something in the distance....a brilliant something or other that I know I need to reach. I can't let go. I tell myself to fight with everything I got....to fight for the truth and right and good. I simply can't give in....at least not until He says 'it's time to let go....it's time for Me to do the rest alone.'  

There's a cost involved in the fight....a sacrifice to be made.....but I'm realizing no sacrifice is too great when He's my running partner.

I'm realizing the cost.....I'm standing in the storm but I'm willing to fight.......

Thankful Thursday

"I seldom end up where I wanted to go....but almost always end up where I need to be." Douglas Adams

Last January I started down a road.....never imagining the many ups and downs....twists and turns that would happen along the way. It started with one thing.....but it's ended with something entirely different....

I've discovered some things on the journey....things like.....I'm still a fighter, but now a fighter for good things.... and I learned that faith is an anchor that pulls me through all the rough times.....

I've discovered that there really are more good people than bad in the world...and that truth always surfaces if you pursue it long and hard enough.

I've met some incredible people on this journey.  People who've touched me in ways that I know has made me a better person.....I'm thankful for encountering them and all the the lessons I've learned Thankful this week for....

-love always makes a way. I spoke with the beautiful woman I've been writing about. Speaking with her...knowing her life has been good...that she is one of the kindness sweetest women ever.....makes this whole journey so worth it.
-the woman in another city who stepped up to help me take the last important step. I asked her why she chose to help when there's scads of people out there with similar needs - I didn't need to wait for her answer...I already knew.....It's a God thing!!!!
-The older woman who became a mentor and friend early on in the journey...she believed in me and still believes in me.....and has helped open so many doors that I'm totally humbled.
-Connecting with a good buddy....another crazy writer and artist who has allowed me to share my heart and frustrations with him and who has stood steady....a true support constantly helping me make it to the next turn in the road.
-and mostly....that I've come to understand He holds divine appointments that don't always look divine. When I say yes and start down the road.... the journey might not be what I expect...but one thing I know now for sure...He's with me...He's got a plan....He's on the journey....and eventually He'll explain the call to go.  

Gratittude for this journey...you bet. It didn't turn out the way I thought but boy it has opened up the world in a whole new way.

Journey

Linking with Charlotte at Spiritual Sunday  and Laura at Faith Filled Friday

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all" Helen Keller


I've been on a journey this last year...a wild crazy journey that started last January when the 'preacher man' asking me to write his story. He told me something that happened that I couldn't get out of my mind...a story about a little girl.

That child slipped into my heart.I thought about her...even prayed that He'd keep her safe.....and make her happy. And I asked Him to find her so I could tell her that I'm glad she survived what she had. The preacher man said I'd never find her. Impossible. But I held onto the hope of one day hearing her voice.....

A few months ago someone emailed me....asked if I was looking for G.R. She said she wanted to help me.

The child now a woman called me yesterday.....And the woman who helped me find her.....wanted to read my books....so I sent them to her. There's talk she may help translate them them into French. 

There were periods in this journey that I wondered why this had become so much part of my life.....other times I became frustrated and angry over how things were playing out. 

Now I know...He pieces things together in His time.

Step by step He leads me.....

Thankful Thursday

“I was giving up. I would have given up if a voice hadn't made itself heard in my heart. The voice said "I will not die. I refuse it. I will make it through this nightmare. I will beat the odds, as great as they are. I have survived so far, miraculously. Now I will turn miracle into routine. The amazing will be seen everyday. I will put in all the hard work necessary. Yes, so long as God is with me, I will not die.”  Yann Martel, Life of Pi

I loved the movie Life of Pi....It reminded me...watching Yan's fight...his struggle to survive....of when I came to the end of myself.....and had no where else to go....I too looked up and prayed......and amazingly He answered. 

Survival. After that everything became miraculous. Waking up in the morning. Having enough food on the table. Driving the kids to school......Every bit of life became a miracle. That voice inside...the voice of hope...Clear. Deep. Penetrating. This week I'm grateful for.....

-connected with a centre that's interested in my books for their women's addiction group.
-started the first writing course....and loving it. She packed so much into that first session. I left completely inspired and pumped. 
-A woman I met online took time to research informationon on a story I'm working on. What she found is amazing. And she herself is amazing...her kindness.
-my niece in her fight against the cancer...is facing the fight full of hope and courage. She too inspires.  
-My youngest and I play a mystery game called weird park. We  can't move forward until certain pieces come together. It's like that with Him too. Sometimes I want to race ahead already. I get frustrated and antsy but when a step is revealed and accomplished....nothing can compare to that joy. It's what I'm feeling now.....pumped that His plan is unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to...one step at a time....

Don't Give Up!!!!

Linking with Charlotte at  Spiritual Sunday and Laura at  Faith Filled Fridays


"The greatest disease in the West is not TB or leprosy -  it's being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. Many in the world are dying for a piece of bread....but many more are dying for a little love." Mother Teresa

Since that day He touched me.....my motto's been...Don't give up. Don't ever give up! Giving up isn't an option. Even in those times that look like defeat - 'don't give up!'  I've thought about it.....I've even wanted to.....but something keeps me in the game....something keeps me holding on. It's love...His love - a love that's so strong...deep....and powerful....and won't give up on me. It gives me courage to hold on.. His love....a love....it trumps all despair. 
 
Don't give up. You are loved......