Nikki Rosen's Blog, page 21

Thankful Thursday

“Being in a hurry....a thousand broken and missed things lie in the wake of all the rushing,” Ann Voskamp

This morning my youngest woke up grumpy. "I have band," she said. 
My eyes hardly open, I looked at the time. She had five minutes to get there.  I jumped into some clothes and we both slammed out of the house. She made it just in time, but she wasn't a happy camper. 
 "Smile,' I told her. 
"I can't, she replied. "I rushed too much."

I hate being rushed too......yet sometimes I dash through so many things....to get it over with....or b/c I want to move onto something else.....or just b/c. 

This week grateful for - 
-the wooded trails near our home. We're there pretty much everyday. Being out in the calm of nature is the best feeling ever. 
-finally finished a short story I was working on called Twelve. Read it to a few people...they liked it. Next step....find a home for it. 
-writing....I get so lost in it....writing relaxes me...calms me down.....and the best.....it costs nothin'.
-snuggling with my kids. I love when we cuddle and chat about everything and anything.
-Mostly....for that calm I get just being connected with Him. Every time I stop, listen and hear His whisper.....it never fails to completely thrill. He never rushes me.....never hurries me to do something or other. He gives me all the time I need to just be. I love that.  

Thankful Thursday

“I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.”  Anne Frank

Earlier in the week, I was working on something that frustrated and worried me. It wasn't going the way I wanted, but I kept at it, trying hard to get it right. 

The more I tried....the more intense I felt until I was so irritated, not only at the task, but with life itself. 

What happened to all that joy and peace and warm fuzzies? 

I jumped in the car and headed to the lake. I noticed a small group of people in the bushes looking at something. I went over to see what it was. Their eyes sparkled as they pointed to this little green heron on a log. Their excitement and joy watching this little guy was contagious. 

I stood with them watching the bird....and something amazing happened. The joy came back. And the peace. And the warm fuzzies. This week grateful for....

1. The little green heron
2. The talk at the group on Tues night left me in awe. I got an email from the leader. They asked me back and want me to run a workshop.
3. Got together with a fellow writer. Loved our time together. The connection was wonderful. 
4. The blueherons that have been hanging around. Watching them thrills me, especially when they fly. I feel myself flying with them.
5. Mostly for His creation. It's the best gift ever.  -The trees, the lakes, the hills, the animals. It's where I feel most alive and connected. And it's where I always find peace and incredible joy. It's better than any drug and any material thing.

Thankful Thursday

“At some point, you just pull off the Band-Aid and it hurts, but then it's over and you're relieved.” John Green

Sometimes I nurse wounds way too long and then one day I've had enough......and just like that.....it's done.....over.....no more pain. And I wonder why it took me so long.

What I think now - all of us need to take whatever time we need.... That helps me not to judge or demand that someone moves forward on my timetable. It helps me accept them for who they are and where they're at.

I'm grateful this week for....

-amazing friends and family who stick by me & never rush or bully me into doing something I don't want or am not ready for.
-for opportunities to make a difference in someone else's life. I got a couple of emails from people who read my books. They said my story encouraged them and gave them hope. 
-School started, routines up and running again. Kids are happy, excited, involved. There's something so awesome about this time of year. 
-reconnected with someone I hadn't seen for awhile. Found out he loves writing too....a true kindred spirit.
-Mostly that His love is a constant. He's there always....in the bad and good times. He never lets go...never leaves...He cares enough to wait.....to never hurry the process.....and the absolute best - He's never given up on me. 

Thankful Thursday

“After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.” Sarah Jessica Parker

Thankful this week for.....

-living in a free country where everyone's considered equal.
-Hanging with the kids before before they hit the books next week. Having fun just being together. 
-Almost done A Twist of Innocence. Trying to put the ending together. Yeahh. Want it done already.
-Setting up exciting stuff for Sept...groups....meetups....community involvement stuff. Love this time of year.
-Mostly for living hooked up to Him. The connection we share is the one that constantly reboots and recharges my heart with gratitude for everything.....the super huge miracle things and the little everyday normal things.

Thankful Thursday

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on earth, in the present moment and feel truly alive." Thich Nhat Hanh

It's not the big things anymore that mean so much...but the little ones....the everyday moments that make life awesome. I'm grateful for...

-spontaneous hugs from my girls and the tight bond we share.
-watching movies with friends. We saw,  'The God's Must be Crazy,' at a friend's place. Had never heard of it before. Totally hilarious. It's an older film set in Africa - incredibly funny.
-Gardening. Who knew planting flowers and watching them bud and grow could be so exhilarating. We've been experimenting with different flowers and now our backyard is full of rich colour. Love it!!!!
-Writing when the house is quiet, in the early morning when everyone is still asleep. There's something so delicious about the stillness, the calm, the quiet. 
-Mostly walks on the trails and in the hills or sitting by the lake and feeling His presence. I used to think if I wasn't doing something spectacular I was missing out on something. Now I think if I'm not taking time to simply be and know He's there....I"m missing out on something. The thing is...it's those times with Him that are the best and it's in those moments I feel truly alive.

Thankful Thursday

"Out of difficulties grow miracles." Jean De La Bruyere  

It's always been through the tough stuff awesome miracles have shone for me. Those things I walk around wishing never happened...the things that made me want to run and hide.

It's always been the grungy, messy, tough as nails stuff that Light has eventually brilliantly shone from. This week I'm thankful for.....

-The yuck stuff  - all of it. It's what stretched me and made me strong.-The whole journey of a thing. It's weird when I've been in tough situations, I've wanted out, but when I'm near it's end and I stop to look at the big and little miracles that came out of it.....I'm in total awe and grateful for the experience.
-People who've hurt me. I see now those guys have given me a chance to really live my faith.
-The darkness - it's where stars shine the brightest.
-Mostly...knowing He's got a plan even in the horrible terrible no good very bad things. Situations might look dark, messy, broken....but somewhere in all of it He's there shining Light. And those horrible things eventually do work out good  - often not the way I might have wanted....but much better than I imagined. 

Thankful Thursday - Home

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”  Maya Angelou

The one thing I wanted more than anything else.....to have a home to go home to.

Home represents so much to me - mostly a place where I belong.

It's true what Dorothy said in the movie, The Wizard of Oz......"There is no place like home!!" I'm grateful this week for:
 
-Our Home....my safe place to be.....to let my hair down....to be totally real.  
-Our Home....that I share it with the people I adore the most.
-Our Home....where I'm free to write my heart with no one looking over my shoulder or judging
-Our Home....a place of peace and calm where I can run to when the world hurts.
-Mostly that He's there in every room, every corner, every spot. His being there is what really makes our home....home.

Thankful Thursday

“You don’t forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Suzanne Collins

They were strangers....but they were people who saw something in me I couldn't see in myself. They gave me hope and a willingness to keep hold on and keep fighting for my freedom.

I've never forgotten them ~ the bank manager who showed me dignity when he gave me the money I asked for - no questions asked.
The guy at the Greek Restaurant who saved bags of food for a street kid and her dog.
The social worker who went above her boss and became a friend.

I'll never forget those people and others like them who gave me me hope and a reason to live.  It's what I want to do now for others. To pay forward what was given to me - hope, kindness, friendship.
I'm thankful for.....

-the banker who showed me dignity.
-the social worker who gave me hope
-the stranger on the bus whose kind smile encouraged me to keep fighting.
-the store owner who invited me to stay and gave me a place to sleep when it was too cold outside.
-Mostly...for Him never giving up on me.....He waited....He stayed. His love broke through all the pain when nothing else could.

Thankful Thursday

Jackie Robinson: "You want a player who doesn't have the guts to fight back?" 
Branch Rickey "No. I want a player who's got the guts NOT to fight back." Movie 42

It's hard not fighting back when lies are being told and you know the truth. But truth isn't always listened to. For some reason lies sometimes sound better than truth. 

Sometimes it takes time for truth to be heard. It takes patience and courage to wait and say nothing. 

I'm always been a fighter and a believer in standing up for what's right. But recently I've learned there's different ways of fighting. One way....which is really hard for me.....is to keep quiet and wait it out. 

The thing is.....in my heart I believe 'Truth always trumps lies,' and the things we put out always come back to us.  I'm thankful for....

-The judge at the court hearing yesterday. He called me brave, told me he shares the love of writing with me and that he too has learned the hard way about the bad ethics of some people.
-The support of so many wonderful new friendships I've made through standing up for what's right. 
-The ability and skill to write what I feel. Writing is an amazing release for me.....one that I consider the best gift ever. 
-Feeling wiser, stronger, and braver. 
-And mostly that He's my example how to fight right - when He was accused and laughed at, He didn't say anything even though He knew the truth. 
He had guts and wisdom to wait for Truth to trump all those lies. I always wondered how He did that. If it was me, I'd scream back and want to zap all of them. But today, maybe not. Today....I see the value in NOT fighting back....the value in saying nothing and the courage to wait.

Gratitude

"When I looked outside into the depth of Nature and God, then I was happy, really happy. So long as I have that happiness.....the joy in nature....one can always recapture happiness." Anne Frank The last few days we've been high up in the mountains. It's strange to me how rock and hills and trees have this incredible power to transport the blah into complete rapture. Makes me feel totally alive. I'm thankful for....
-Physical ability to hike in the most breath-taking, magnificent mountains. -Powerful assurance I get there.....everything shouts 'don't be afraid.' It pumps courage into me more than anything else.-Calm, refreshed, energized.....completely filled up. The feeling's amazing. It turns the mundane into excitement for me. -Sharing the experience with people I love and who love me. We laughed and hugged....all of us felt freer...more bonded.-Mostly that everything shouts His love and generosity. I might not have a million dollars.....or top of the line car or a huge castle but standing there I feel so incredibly rich.