Jim Murdock's Blog - Posts Tagged "moochie-s-place"
How to Survive a Moochie Hug
How to Survive a Moochie Hug
One: Hold your head up. When the air leaves your lungs, it's very important that there be a route by which it can return. Otherwise, you might become seriously dead. If you are not tall enough to breathe from the top, try for a spot under her arm.
Two: Reach around her as far as you can and squeeze with all your might. This helps to tighten your muscles and rib cage, preparing them for the expected assault. If you fail to do this in time, then it's important that you completely relax your muscles and go limp. That way she'll think you fainted and let up.
Three: Do not try to keep your feet on the floor unless you are over six feet tall. It will be impossible and will waste energy which might be needed later. Just be aware of where your feet are at all times so that when she lets go, you'll be able to catch yourself. It's best if your feet touch down shoulder width apart. It will give you more stability.
Four: When you land it's important to suck in as much air as possible to replace that which has been squeezed out.
Five: Immediately look around for something or someone to grab onto. It is possible that you will be disorientated, dizzy or just plain stupified. It will hurt if you fall face down on the floor.
Six: It might help if you have something to sip on while you recover: sweet tea, a Coca Cola or a Bud Light, my favorite.
Seven: Also, recite the Twenty-third Psalm, but not if you're having my favorite above. That wouldn't be respectful and things might backfire on you.
If you do all of the above, I'm pretty sure that you will survive, but not certain. So keep your bone doctor's number handy.
It's been said that a hug by my sweet Moochie can cure anything. I don't believe that because a friend of mine got a hug when he had foot fungus and he's still got it.
Anyhow, if you follow my instructions and are lucky you can proudly say: I SURVIVED A MOOCHIE HUG!
P.S. This is to be given to anyone who buys a Moochie T-shirt or does not have a written will.
P.P.S. I like to kid my Moochie about her hugs. Really, she's the most gentle person you'd ever want to meet. She would never hurt anyone, unless, of course, she's real angry or overly excited.
Read Moochie's Place
One: Hold your head up. When the air leaves your lungs, it's very important that there be a route by which it can return. Otherwise, you might become seriously dead. If you are not tall enough to breathe from the top, try for a spot under her arm.
Two: Reach around her as far as you can and squeeze with all your might. This helps to tighten your muscles and rib cage, preparing them for the expected assault. If you fail to do this in time, then it's important that you completely relax your muscles and go limp. That way she'll think you fainted and let up.
Three: Do not try to keep your feet on the floor unless you are over six feet tall. It will be impossible and will waste energy which might be needed later. Just be aware of where your feet are at all times so that when she lets go, you'll be able to catch yourself. It's best if your feet touch down shoulder width apart. It will give you more stability.
Four: When you land it's important to suck in as much air as possible to replace that which has been squeezed out.
Five: Immediately look around for something or someone to grab onto. It is possible that you will be disorientated, dizzy or just plain stupified. It will hurt if you fall face down on the floor.
Six: It might help if you have something to sip on while you recover: sweet tea, a Coca Cola or a Bud Light, my favorite.
Seven: Also, recite the Twenty-third Psalm, but not if you're having my favorite above. That wouldn't be respectful and things might backfire on you.
If you do all of the above, I'm pretty sure that you will survive, but not certain. So keep your bone doctor's number handy.
It's been said that a hug by my sweet Moochie can cure anything. I don't believe that because a friend of mine got a hug when he had foot fungus and he's still got it.
Anyhow, if you follow my instructions and are lucky you can proudly say: I SURVIVED A MOOCHIE HUG!
P.S. This is to be given to anyone who buys a Moochie T-shirt or does not have a written will.
P.P.S. I like to kid my Moochie about her hugs. Really, she's the most gentle person you'd ever want to meet. She would never hurt anyone, unless, of course, she's real angry or overly excited.
Read Moochie's Place
Advice to woman who wonders if husband loves her-"Hell, honey, don’t worry about him loving you
Advice to woman who wonders if husband loves her-"Hell, honey, don’t worry about him loving you
"Give him all the love you got. Hug him. Kiss him every chance you get. Tell him you love him. I can almost guarantee you; he'll return your love. If he doesn’t, his pilot light's done gone out. Get rid of his sorry ass."
Read Moochie's Place...learn more
"Give him all the love you got. Hug him. Kiss him every chance you get. Tell him you love him. I can almost guarantee you; he'll return your love. If he doesn’t, his pilot light's done gone out. Get rid of his sorry ass."
Read Moochie's Place...learn more
Moochie’s Place - Sneak Preview
Moochie's Place - Sneak Preview
You are reading about the fabulous life of Moochie Dunlop and the man who saw the beauty of her soul. Both have survived their winter of darkness, but not yet found their spring of hope. Can they survive in this find-your-own-soup-bone world?
It was a pleasant Georgia evening in the spring of two-thousand-eight. They sat in foldable lounge chairs, purchased from Walmart, next to their recently assembled, above-ground pool. Moochie Dunlop's over-doctored coffee and William Arrington the Third's Bud Light, sat on a plastic table between them. An empty chocolate-covered praline wrapper lay on the ground.
Moochie thought of her mother and father, both dead now, and wondered what in the world they were thinking when they begot me, or were they thinking at all? Why didn't they plan more carefully and have a normal baby, not one who was fat right from the beginning? Someone who could have been popular in school, maybe even a cheerleader or majorette? Life would have been easier and I wouldn't have had to decide whether to give up, or not care and move on.
Reading the "Police-Blotter" section of the local newspaper, she said, "Listen to this, honey. 'Local restaurant vandalized. The Coffee Cup Café was broken into last night. Unknown assailants did major damage to the furniture and equipment, and sprayed life-threatening graffiti on the walls. Police said there was no indication this crime was gang- related. When officers arrived, they found the elderly owner screaming incoherent threats against a local business man. The distraught man was rushed to Athens Regional where he was sedated. Police will interview him later to determine a possible motive or suspects.' Lord-a-mercy, if that don't beat all. Seems like no body's safe anymore."
William, simply known as Bud, faced the back of their three-bedroom ranch house, with a good view of the broken screen door, ancient York air conditioner and shaggy grass. He looked at Moochie and said, "You're right about that. Being in the food business is hard enough without something like that happening."
They fell silent, Bud thinking about his days as a short-order cook. Finally, he said, "Well, love, here we are, married, living on my check as a shipping foreman and your baby-sitting income. Is this it? I mean, have we arrived or what?" He closed his eyes and leaned back, not really expecting an answer.
"I've been thinking about that myself," said Moochie. "I've been put down all my life, mainly because of my weight. If you can't control your weight, especially if you're a woman, folks tend to think you're lacking in character, that you just don't have what it takes to make a go of anything."
Bud opened one eye. "Is that what you believe, Moochie?"
"Hell, no. I don't believe that and never will. I know this old world is what it is, and people are the way they are, but if they expect me to just sit there and take it without fighting back, they better reset their gyroscope. I resent folks when they judge me or someone else because of our appearance. They don't know what's inside me, honey. I mean to have my own business and be successful enough to help other people. That's what drives me and gives me pleasure, helping others. Don't you feel that way, honey?" Moochie turned to face Bud.
"Yeah, but so far, I've been too busy trying to survive, dragging myself from job to job, drinking myself silly, feeling sorry for myself because of my mama and daddy. I aim to be my own boss, hold my head up in the community. About all I've done up to this point is learn how to cook."
Moochie propped her chin on her hand and wrinkled her brow. Then, she smiled and reached over and took Bud's hand. "Honey, let's make a pact right now to have our own place. Let's be successful so we can help others and gain respect for who we are. What do you say, Bud? Are you with me?"
"I'm with you, love, whatever we do, but it won't be easy. I'll even give up my drinking if that's what it takes."
Moochie was so surprised to hear that Bud would give up his favorite pastime, she made a pledge herself. "And, I promise to not eat a praline before I get out of bed each morning, and only one Twinkie Twin Pack before going to sleep at night. How's that?"
"Sounds like we got us a deal," said Bud. He leaned back in his chair and drained the last of his beer. "That's it, babe. I'm done."
A breeze filled with the smell of sweet gardenias swept away the aroma of coffee and the dank smell of beer, just as their old lives would soon be caught up in the swirling currents of an uncertain economy and the desperate greed of those who worship money.
Moochie's Place
You are reading about the fabulous life of Moochie Dunlop and the man who saw the beauty of her soul. Both have survived their winter of darkness, but not yet found their spring of hope. Can they survive in this find-your-own-soup-bone world?
It was a pleasant Georgia evening in the spring of two-thousand-eight. They sat in foldable lounge chairs, purchased from Walmart, next to their recently assembled, above-ground pool. Moochie Dunlop's over-doctored coffee and William Arrington the Third's Bud Light, sat on a plastic table between them. An empty chocolate-covered praline wrapper lay on the ground.
Moochie thought of her mother and father, both dead now, and wondered what in the world they were thinking when they begot me, or were they thinking at all? Why didn't they plan more carefully and have a normal baby, not one who was fat right from the beginning? Someone who could have been popular in school, maybe even a cheerleader or majorette? Life would have been easier and I wouldn't have had to decide whether to give up, or not care and move on.
Reading the "Police-Blotter" section of the local newspaper, she said, "Listen to this, honey. 'Local restaurant vandalized. The Coffee Cup Café was broken into last night. Unknown assailants did major damage to the furniture and equipment, and sprayed life-threatening graffiti on the walls. Police said there was no indication this crime was gang- related. When officers arrived, they found the elderly owner screaming incoherent threats against a local business man. The distraught man was rushed to Athens Regional where he was sedated. Police will interview him later to determine a possible motive or suspects.' Lord-a-mercy, if that don't beat all. Seems like no body's safe anymore."
William, simply known as Bud, faced the back of their three-bedroom ranch house, with a good view of the broken screen door, ancient York air conditioner and shaggy grass. He looked at Moochie and said, "You're right about that. Being in the food business is hard enough without something like that happening."
They fell silent, Bud thinking about his days as a short-order cook. Finally, he said, "Well, love, here we are, married, living on my check as a shipping foreman and your baby-sitting income. Is this it? I mean, have we arrived or what?" He closed his eyes and leaned back, not really expecting an answer.
"I've been thinking about that myself," said Moochie. "I've been put down all my life, mainly because of my weight. If you can't control your weight, especially if you're a woman, folks tend to think you're lacking in character, that you just don't have what it takes to make a go of anything."
Bud opened one eye. "Is that what you believe, Moochie?"
"Hell, no. I don't believe that and never will. I know this old world is what it is, and people are the way they are, but if they expect me to just sit there and take it without fighting back, they better reset their gyroscope. I resent folks when they judge me or someone else because of our appearance. They don't know what's inside me, honey. I mean to have my own business and be successful enough to help other people. That's what drives me and gives me pleasure, helping others. Don't you feel that way, honey?" Moochie turned to face Bud.
"Yeah, but so far, I've been too busy trying to survive, dragging myself from job to job, drinking myself silly, feeling sorry for myself because of my mama and daddy. I aim to be my own boss, hold my head up in the community. About all I've done up to this point is learn how to cook."
Moochie propped her chin on her hand and wrinkled her brow. Then, she smiled and reached over and took Bud's hand. "Honey, let's make a pact right now to have our own place. Let's be successful so we can help others and gain respect for who we are. What do you say, Bud? Are you with me?"
"I'm with you, love, whatever we do, but it won't be easy. I'll even give up my drinking if that's what it takes."
Moochie was so surprised to hear that Bud would give up his favorite pastime, she made a pledge herself. "And, I promise to not eat a praline before I get out of bed each morning, and only one Twinkie Twin Pack before going to sleep at night. How's that?"
"Sounds like we got us a deal," said Bud. He leaned back in his chair and drained the last of his beer. "That's it, babe. I'm done."
A breeze filled with the smell of sweet gardenias swept away the aroma of coffee and the dank smell of beer, just as their old lives would soon be caught up in the swirling currents of an uncertain economy and the desperate greed of those who worship money.
Moochie's Place
Moochie's Place - Quick Read Synopsis
MOOCHIE'S PLACE - Author Jim Murdock
She likes to eat and he likes to cook. MOOCHIE DUNLOP and her husband, BUD
ARRINGTON, open a home cooking restaurant.
Their friends help remodel a quaint old building in downtown Athens for Moochie's Place. Bud and UNCLE BILLY rebuild one booth to handle Moochie's girth. They also find a jukebox which belongs to an old woman with a wart in the middle of her forehead who makes a pass at Uncle Billy.
PRETTY BOY, a precocious parrot, who was raised next to a TV in the bedroom of an
old movie buff, comes up with hilarious comments at appropriate times, such as "Gawk! Who's your daddy?" When the bird is banned from inside by the Health Department, and forced to stay outside by the door, Moochie and Bud bring a law suit on his behalf. Pretty Boy is kidnapped. There are demonstrations. Clint Eastwood calls offering his support.
Moochie is famous for her hugs. SLAPPER SLOCUM, a neighboring entrepreneur,
makes a fortune selling T-shirts with Moochie's picture on the front and "I survived a Moochie hug" on the back. It becomes a fad among University of Georgia students.
WILSON LUMKIN, a jealous restaurateur across the street slaps Moochie who returns the favor. He breaks into the restaurant and is the one who hired the kidnapping of Pretty Boy. When he discovers that his grandfather had hidden a fortune in the Moochie's Place
building, he breaks in again and later runs Bud off the road putting his life in danger.
Moochie becomes a permanent guest on the "Lay it on Grady Show." She is
responsible for it becoming a syndicated radio program. A grassroots "Moochie for President" campaign is started . The attention brings Morley Safer of 60 Minutes for a rib-tickling interview with she and Bud. Leaders and politicians flock to Moochie's Place
for advice and a hug from the new folk hero.
Moochie and Bud buy the building next door, tear a hole in the wall and find the lost fortune. The money is hidden. The challenge is to protect the money from Lumkin.
Arsonists hired by Lumkin set the restaurant on fire and Bud's life is in grave danger until he is rescued by Moochie. Pretty Boy is missing.
Bud’s daughter, Ginger is kidnapped. Lumkin holds Moochie and Bud at gunpoint in attempt to get the money.
Lumkin enters restaurant with AK47 putting Bud and Moochie in great danger.
See more at web site: www.jimmurdock.com
She likes to eat and he likes to cook. MOOCHIE DUNLOP and her husband, BUD
ARRINGTON, open a home cooking restaurant.
Their friends help remodel a quaint old building in downtown Athens for Moochie's Place. Bud and UNCLE BILLY rebuild one booth to handle Moochie's girth. They also find a jukebox which belongs to an old woman with a wart in the middle of her forehead who makes a pass at Uncle Billy.
PRETTY BOY, a precocious parrot, who was raised next to a TV in the bedroom of an
old movie buff, comes up with hilarious comments at appropriate times, such as "Gawk! Who's your daddy?" When the bird is banned from inside by the Health Department, and forced to stay outside by the door, Moochie and Bud bring a law suit on his behalf. Pretty Boy is kidnapped. There are demonstrations. Clint Eastwood calls offering his support.
Moochie is famous for her hugs. SLAPPER SLOCUM, a neighboring entrepreneur,
makes a fortune selling T-shirts with Moochie's picture on the front and "I survived a Moochie hug" on the back. It becomes a fad among University of Georgia students.
WILSON LUMKIN, a jealous restaurateur across the street slaps Moochie who returns the favor. He breaks into the restaurant and is the one who hired the kidnapping of Pretty Boy. When he discovers that his grandfather had hidden a fortune in the Moochie's Place
building, he breaks in again and later runs Bud off the road putting his life in danger.
Moochie becomes a permanent guest on the "Lay it on Grady Show." She is
responsible for it becoming a syndicated radio program. A grassroots "Moochie for President" campaign is started . The attention brings Morley Safer of 60 Minutes for a rib-tickling interview with she and Bud. Leaders and politicians flock to Moochie's Place
for advice and a hug from the new folk hero.
Moochie and Bud buy the building next door, tear a hole in the wall and find the lost fortune. The money is hidden. The challenge is to protect the money from Lumkin.
Arsonists hired by Lumkin set the restaurant on fire and Bud's life is in grave danger until he is rescued by Moochie. Pretty Boy is missing.
Bud’s daughter, Ginger is kidnapped. Lumkin holds Moochie and Bud at gunpoint in attempt to get the money.
Lumkin enters restaurant with AK47 putting Bud and Moochie in great danger.
See more at web site: www.jimmurdock.com
