Cheryl Rainfield's Blog, page 50

Pay attention to the good in your life. You may have more than you realize.

Pay attention to the good in your life. You may have more than you realize.

It’s easy to pay attention to the painful moments, the hard things, the things that bring you down. They grab our attention, grip us tightly, tear at us. And sometimes, especially if we’ve had a lot of pain, abuse, or trauma in our lives, it can be hard to notice the good things that happen. The little things and the big things that all add up to help us appreciate being alive.

The hug from a friend. The friendly lick from a cat or dog. The smile from a stranger. Someone telling us they appreciate our work. Someone telling us we have a nice smile. Laughing with friends. Good food. Finding that book we want. Reading a good book. Time with friends.

I’m going to try to make an effort to focus more on the good in my life–and I hope you’ll join me.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

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Say what is important to you–and say it with compassion.

Say what is important to you–and say it with compassion.

We all need to be heard. The more we shove down what’s important to us, the more unhappy or depressed we are, and the more likely it is to come bursting out all over others, making an unhappy mess for ourselves, and possibly hurting relationships. Sometimes we’re so afraid to say our truth or what we care about that we can shrivel up inside, retreat from the world or the people around us, and lose happiness. We *need* to say what’s important to us, what matters, what we need, to be happy, and sometimes to make sure we’re treated with respect and dignity and equality. But we’re also more likely to be heard and treated with respect if we come from a place of compassion and respect ourselves. If we remember to treat others the way we want to be treated.

So say what you need to say, and speak from a place of compassion and respect–and you may find yourself a lot happier (and others around you, too).

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

Find what gives you joy–and do it.

Find what gives you joy–and do it.

If you were abused or suffered trauma, it may be hard to feel joy or even imagine it. But you have the potential to inside you. I think we were all made to feel and to find great moments of joy.

Try connecting with the child inside you, the young, innocent part of yourself who can look at the world with wonder–can see the sparkle of light on the snow and find it beautiful, delights in a rainbow in the sky, in blowing bubbles or getting and giving a hug, playing with a pet, finding a good book. Try to stay with the wonder, the happiness, the joy. And when you find it, do more of it. (smiling)

I think it’s easy to forget to find joy, the harder we work or the more responsibilities we have, or the more hard and painful things we’ve been through in our lives. But that’s when it’s all the more important to find joy, and to do the things that give us joy.

I hope you keep seeking out joy, doing things you love, things that make you happy. You deserve that. Happiness and joy.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve your love and compassion.

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve your love and compassion.

If you’re a perfectionist, or you grew up in a household with a stern, critical, or abusive parent or caretaker, on had a partner who was, then you may struggle–like I have–with being kind and gentle to yourself. You may be harsh to yourself, even cruel. But you deserve your love and compassion; you really do! And when you’re loving with yourself, when you give yourself the same compassion you would a friend, you’ll find that you’re happier and things don’t seem as hard. So try to be gentle with yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard. Think of yourself the way you would a friend. Figure out what you need to feel happier or more at ease, and then allow yourself that.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.

You deserve to be loved and cherished–by others and by yourself.

You deserve to be loved and cherished–by others and by yourself. I hope you’re treated with love–by your friends and family, by people around you, and by yourself. It’s important both how others treat us, and how we treat ourselves. Keep taking in the love and compassion, and rejecting any ill treatment. You only deserve good things.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.

Follow your dreams. You are worth believing in.

Follow your dreams. You are worth believing in. Whatever it is you want and need to do–then do that. You matter, and your dreams are important. It may take a while to get your dream, so don’t give up. Keep reminding yourself of why you want it, and keep moving forward. It will come.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.

Notice the love around you. Take it in.

Notice the love around you. Take it in. You may have more love around you than you know. I get love from friends and from my little dog Petal, and they all make up my chosen family. I’ve also experienced kindness, acceptance, and compassion from strangers, acquaintances, and friends, and to me those are all forms of love.

I didn’t grow up with love. My parents abused and tortured me, and so did many other family members and their friends. I was bullied as a child and teen. I was taught to hate myself. So it became hard for me to trust that people could actually like me, never mind love me. But people (and animals) do. And I know they do for you, too.

This time of year especially, or any time that is hard for you, it’s important to take in the love, to not let it bounce off your defenses or reject it.

Notice the love, kindness, and compassion around you. Take it in and really embrace it. You deserve that love, and you’ll feel happier taking it in.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.

Love and accept your body. You’re beautiful as you are.

Love and accept your body. You’re beautiful as you are.

We’re all given constant messages from advertisements and the media that we’re not good enough as we are, that we need to fix or change something about ourselves. But that’s just done to create insecurity so companies can sell products and services, and also sometimes by society to keep some people in power. It’s not based on actual beauty.

You don’t need to change anything; you are beautiful as you are. Truly! Soul shines out of people’s eyes and faces–true beauty–and that’s what draws me to someone. I also see beauty in each of us. If you look at people with an artist’s eye, as well as a compassionate or soul eye, you’ll see the beauty, too. I hope you can look at yourself that way and realize you’re beautiful just as you are.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.

Recognize your progress and triumphs. Celebrate them!

Recognize your progress and triumphs. Celebrate them!

Sometimes we forget to take time to see how far we’ve come, or to celebrate our progress. We’re focused on the next goal. But it’s important to take time to appreciate our successes and progress. I hope you see how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished, and you celebrate it. Celebrate yourself.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.

Take time to do what makes you feel good or happy. Remember to have fun. :)

Take the time to do what makes you feel good or happy. Remember to have fun. It’s so important to do things we enjoy, that give us pleasure. So many of us work so hard, we forget about happiness, and joy, and little things that can make us happy we’re here. For me it can be blowing bubbles, hugging a friend, playing with my little dog Petal, reading a book. Noticing a beautiful sunrise, looking at something that feels beautiful, eating chocolate. Really being in the moment and enjoying it. Whatever that is for you, whatever brings you good feeling, I hope you keep taking time to do it.

I think it can be especially hard to remember to do feel-good things when you’re going through something stressful, or a crisis, or a hard time of year. But then it’s all the more important to do those things. So keep doing things that remind yourself you’re glad to be here, or that give you some enjoyment, or that help you connect with others. I wish you joy.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.