Lara Frater's Blog, page 6
November 18, 2013
Still not buying it.
Every once in a while I’ll have a bizarre fantasy of what it’s like being thin. During my dieting days, I had this fantasy frequently. I would show off my thin and beautiful bod to the people who made fun of me. They would look at me with their mouths agape and beg to be my friend. I would laugh and shrug them off.
I don't have this fantasy as much because I accept that I'm fat and I no longer care what people think of me. I don’t want to be thin, except maybe while clothes shopping. With the exception of the Big Fat Flea and some of the plus size stores like Torrid and Lane Bryant, I find clothes shopping a level of hell. With an apple belly, large boobs and a rectangle side. I imagine what it would be like to walk into any store and have an abundant selection of what I need. Even stores that carry plus sizes often have such a small selection that I find nothing.
Mike Jeffries of Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't thinking about the future in 2006 when he said A&F was only for the cool kids (i.e. no fatties). He wasn't thinking there'd be a giant fucking recession and apparently retail clothing isn't as quite as niche a market as an exclusive night club. They find their niche has other crappy clothing stores to go too. Ones that have cheaper prices, aren’t run by assholes, and sell clothes that fit them.
"Students are looking for better prices," (Doreen) Burdalski says. "They may realize the quality of clothing isn't as good, but it serves their purpose for now. I think the price point is too high, they've been struggling since 2008. People are experiencing that crunch, college students included."
A&F has been suffering declining sales and have now realized that maybe they do need to actually sell some clothes to more than five people. They will be offering plus size clothes to women. I'm not sure what size they will go to. If they go to 2x I can possibly fit into their clothes.
But still I won't shop there. You see Old Navy, H&M, and Forever 21 all carry plus sizes but yet I don't step foot in them because I know I am but a token to them. Two-third of the US populatio are considered fat but you wouldn’t know it even from the stores that sell plus sizes. I won't find the same sizes, styles, selection as a thin person would. And unlike Torrid, Lane Bryant and the Big Fat Flea, I wouldn’t feel like a human being shopping in these stores. One time I went into the plus size boutique Lee Lee’s Valise, told the sales girl I need something for someone that has no waist and walked out with a kick ass dress.
I often state on my blog to never buy anything from a store that doesn’t carry plus sizes. My thin fantasy would end with the realization that no store that carried fat and thin sizes has ever been good to me. If I were thin I would have no where to shop.
I will continue to not buy A&F and laugh when they go under. I look forward to the same thing happening to Lululemon.
November 11, 2013
Guess what really still doesn't work? Stigma
I'm not sure why I have to keep pointing out that stigmatizing a fat person does not make them lose weight. You see, no matter which avenue the "Obesity researcher" is coming from, they always come to the same conclusion: fat people need to eat less. Some of them try to be kind, saying its not the fat person's fault they stuff their face, they are just too stupid to understand healthy eating.
Then there are doctors who think its perfectly okay to shame a fat person.
“It happens all the time,” wrote Dr Pemberton, who also has a
column in The Telegraph. “Patients who are not interested in changing
their diet in any way, demand to have their cake, eat it…and then pop a pill
so that the calories never touch their waistline.
As a veteran of countless diets, lifestyle changes, "healthy" eating and OTC diet pills, that resulted in weight loss, followed by massive weight gain, I can say Dr. Pemberton is full of shit. And considering that no weight loss drug has ever worked in the long run while some have been deadly, diet pills are not the easy way to lose weight.
It goes back to the same argument that all fat people overeat and if they stop they will suddenly become thin. I don't deny that sometimes when you stop eating junk food, you might drop a little weight or none at all. But that weight loss rarely makes a fat person thin. (And until we drop BMI as a primary health indicator, all healthy habits become pointless unless the person gets to the magic "normal" number.)
The people who come to your practice Dr. Pemberton, you might find out something if you listen to their words instead of looking at their fat. Chances are that by the time they meet you, they've already tried all kinds of diets and lifestyle changes and now they are getting desperate.
Last week I reviewed the book Shadows on a Tightrope. In it was an essay about a woman who got weight loss surgery (back when the death rates were 6-8%) purely because she couldn't deal with the stigma.
A good doctor would look at the entire health of the patient, listen to their stories. You might be surprised to find how good they were on their diet until the feelings of starvation took over and how willing they might be to be healthy if their doctor didn't try to shame them.
November 7, 2013
Parallel Lives
Shadows on a Tightrope had the distinction of being one of the earliest fat activist/liberation books. It was a collaboration of works by different fat feminists over a decade, of essays, narratives and poems all about standing up to the diet industry and reclaiming fat bodies. Many of the authors of the book had had body re-awakenings and learned to love, accept, and cherish their fat bodies while rejecting mainstream objectification. Others are hoping to reach that path, while some are just stories about how hard it is to live in a fat body.
"We know what they mean they say "attractive"-- It's not us."
When the book came out in 1983, I was 12. At the same time some of the writers were already on their fat path, already fighting against the Hollywood, medical and diet industry cookie cutter. I was at the beginning of my body hating journey that wouldn't end for 20 years.
I got fat when I was 9. I ate the same junk food as my peers, but when I got fat, the teasing and the "well-meaning" lectures began. Somehow I resisted dieting and body hatred until I was 12. Even though Shadows on the Tightrope was out, it was not part of my world. At 12, I wanted nothing more than to be accepted by my peers. I believed that "Dieting worked" because that was no discourse. At 12, you went on a diet, you got thin, the end. There was nothing in mainstream media, nor from my doctor or my parents that mentioned anything about the high failure rate, the dangers of weight cycling or that fact that I would completely destroy my self-esteem. I always assumed I was overeating. If someone had just handed me Vivian Mayer's essay on the fat illusion where she points out that fat people are assumed to be overeating when more often they are eating normally, my life might have been different.
Today this is still relevant especially with the pressure now on children to be thin or else. Some of this has changed since Shadows on the Tightrope. Many women wrote about dealing with doctors who gave them pills or screamed insults at them. Women talked about being fat as a child and having to become bullies so they wouldn’t be picked on. One involved personal narratives on growing up fat. Lynn Mabel-Lois wrote in "We'll Worry About That When You're Thin" that she became addicted to diet pills and first getting access to them when she was 10. We would never think of giving our children amphetamines now, but we are still willing to give still growing teens weight loss surgery. And it would be socially unacceptable for a doctor to scream at a child, yet it’s perfectly okay to scare children into thinking they are dying like the ads in Atlanta.
Reading the stories in the book sometimes made me sad because I saw my story from the 1980’s in the narratives that took place in the fifties and sixties. The only change was doctors went from pills and screaming to diet sheets and lectures.
But things have changed because of what Shadows on a Tightrope started. It influenced countless fat authors who then influenced hundreds more. I didn’t have Shadows on a Tightrope at 12, but when I finally decided to stop hating my body at 30, I created a loving fat positive environment.
Today we have more than just this book that tells us to resist the message of hatred. We have countless books such as Fat? So! By Marilyn Wann, Taking Up Space by Pattie Thomas, Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon, Hot & Heavy by Virgie Tovar, my own book Fat Chick Rules and so many others I don't have space to name. We have activist groups, blogs, websites, e-groups, and Facebook groups which project the same message: You are perfect just the way you are.
Those blogs today will all be giving thanks on how Shadows on a Tightrope changed everything for the better.
November 2, 2013
Blog this week moved to Friday
October 21, 2013
Always be Wonder Woman
If you search Fat Wonder Woman (WW), you'll get
lovely art work featuring a plumped up sexy WW. Fat superheroes in comics don't
exist. Heroes are muscular and heroines are thin and scantily clad. It's easier
to find a mainstream fat villain than a fat hero.
Hurricane Sandy soured the mood of most New
Yorkers last year and Halloween was one of its victims. This year I decided to
make up for lost time and actually dress up compared to other years where I
might wear my cat ears, my squid or zombie hat.
I decided on Wonder Woman, mostly because I love
her and it was one of the few costumes that went up to 2x with reviews saying
it was a comfortable 2x.
Even through this awesome costume
went to size 2x, I was more interested in buying a costume tee-shirt and then
buy the accessories. I wanted something so I could be WW year round.
That was until I tried to find it. I went to
Ricky's Halloween shop and Spirit of Halloween. Both I might add do carry plus
size costumes. While their selection has gotten better over the years, they
still had more selections for dogs than fat people. I would even say it was
easier to find a fat suit than a costume in my size.
They did carry Wonder Woman costume tee-shirts
(with capes), night shorts (also with capes) and dresses.
The sizes? XS to XL.
I thought maybe it was the stores that didn't
carry the plus sizes. Surely if I go online I'll find ones at least in my size
(and if you're supersized, don't even bother, make your own).
No dice. Apparently the manufacturer didn't
realize that fat women did in fact go out to celebrate Halloween and don't sit
at home eating all the candy.
After searching for costume tees and coming up
with nothing, I gave up until I got an email from Hot Topic that said that costumes were
available. I wasn't getting my hopes up. Hot Topic tends to throw scraps at
plus sizes. I was surprised to see a Wonder Woman dress that went up to 3x and
a sexy costume that went up to 2x.
Until I clicked on the sizing chart and
discovered Hot Topic's 3x only went to size 19. Why they made a 3x equivalent to
at 19 and not a 22 was beyond me. (Macy’s Junior plus uses the same sizes as
adults and the model in the costume was a young adult.) This made no sense. I
felt Hot Topic was bullying me. Teasing me with a costume in my size than
giving me a big FU.
I searched again and found that once upon a time
Torrid, Hot Topics' fat younger sister, made a WW costume tee. Because they hadn't made it
this year, it was only available on ebay. After several attempts to get it, I gave
in and purchased a 2x WW logo tee-shirt. Figured I'd go back to Spirit of
Halloween and get the full costume.
They make Wonder Woman tutus which I initially
dismissed because I assumed it wasn’t made for fat asses. After the frustration of trying to find
the costume tee, I decided to try it on and was surprised to find it fit. I was
shocked and amazed when it slid over my jeans easily. Adding the tutu (Which I
love and want to wear every day), the accessory set and WW stockings to the
logo tshirt, I was finally ready to go. It wasn’t what I wanted but this was as
close as I could get.
But the moral of this story isn't finding the
costume and putting it together, it was the complete lack of items in my size.
Had I been a large, I could have found anything I wanted in those stores
without too much trouble.
Wonder Woman wouldn't stand for that shit.
October 15, 2013
Love your body, no matter what anyone says
And of course, they hadn’t really thought of me as a person. Why should they? These images are throwaways, little bursts of amusement to get through a long workday. You look, you chuckle, you get some ridicule off your chest and move on to the next source of distraction. No one thought about the possibility that I might read those words. Far less, that I would talk back.
Today is Love Your Body day. Today is the day we appreciate the body we have, not the body that is unattainable. Lara Croft's body is not real. Not just because she's only a video game character but her dimensions are ridiculous. So it really doesn't matter who cosplays they aren't going to look exactly like her. Caitlin is thinking about being Lara Croft again, but she doesn't plan to make the photo public even though she isn't ashamed of her body (that belongs to the online bullies).
But I refuse to disappear. I still go jogging in public. I don’t hide my
flabby arms or chubby ankles for fear of offending someone else’s
delicate sensibilities. I dress in a way that makes me happy with
myself. And this Halloween, I’m thinking of reprising my role as Lara
Croft just to give all the haters the middle finger.
Today, love your body if even if you think it's too fat, too skinny, not muscular, too tall, too short or doesn't look like Lara Croft. You must love everything about it. Even if it's just for the one day.
October 11, 2013
Global Perspectives on Sexuality and Gender CFP
16th Annual Sarah Lawrence Women’s History Conference
[cid:7078fffb-ed2e-4862-8980-1c6437b15d7c@sarahlawrence.edu]
The Newer Normal:
Global Perspectives on Sexuality and Gender
Saturday March 2, 2014
Since
the defeat of Proposition 8 banning gay marriage in California, the
LGBT movement has claimed several significant victories in the struggle
for civil rights. Despite these advances, the movement for the rights of
gender non- conformists have been slower to be realized. Discrimination
on the basis of gender identity and gender expression is a particularly
daunting issue and this issue is both within and outside of the LGBT
movement. The 16th Annual Sarah Lawrence Women’s History Conference
seeks to understand all aspects of gender identity and gender
expression.
Specific panel topics may include, but are not limited to:
• Law and gender identity
• Transgendered children
• Evolution of gendered language
• Health and gender identity
• Genderqueer and non-binary identities
• Transgender activism
• The history of sexuality and gender
Proposals
should be no more than two pages maximum. Please include a short
description of each presentation and a one- page c.v. for each
presenter. Proposals for panels are especially welcome, but we will also
consider individual papers. E-mail submissions are preferred.
Deadline: Friday, December 9, 2013
Send proposals to:
tjames@sarahlawrence.edutjames@sarahlawrence.edu>
Tara James, Associate Director Women’s History Program
Sarah Lawrence College
1 Mead Way
Bronxville, New York 10708
(914) 395-2405
Post delayed
October 7, 2013
Fat Assumptions Kill
In a neighborhood not far from where I live, a little girl Claudialee was an active and imaginative six year old who wanted to be a vet when she grew up. She was also chubby. During a blood test Claudialee was found to have a high glucose level. Her doctor informed her mother that the little girl was pre-diabetic for type 2. He then told her mother that to fix this she needed to lose weight.
She was "prediabetic." During the next visit, Mercado explained to Irma
that the results were nothing to be too concerned about. The girl just
needed to lose weight. Diet and exercise. She handed Irma a sheet of
paper with a food pyramid on it.
Turns out the girl had type 1 which cannot be fixed with diet and exercise. In 2010, she died.
I don't believe the doctor looked at this little girl and said "I sure hope this fat kid dies." However the doctor had worked in SUNY Downstate's Wellness program (To make fatties thin and diabetics not fatties I assume). I think all she heard and learn was the same rhetoric: all fat people become diabetics and if they just lose weight they'll be fine.
Other doctors apparently did not understand why this doctor ruled out type 1. Even with the evidence that most diabetic children under ten do not have type 2, the doctor stood by her diagnosis.
Even after it was clear that Claudialee suffered from type 1, Mercado
stood by her diagnosis. When later questioned in court, she disagreed
with the notion that type 2 diabetes is uncommon in young kids.
Here is a handy chart that shows the amount of type 1 and type 2. among children. Notice type 2 is a tiny sliver among children younger than 10. Even after ten type 2 is still less common (except among certain groups. Hispanics were half and half)
The doctor made a poor assumption on a six year old, where she saw fat as the culprit. Even the Village Voice article that reported this made a poor assumption because it said fat caused diabetes. (I wrote last week about a doctor who thinks this is backwards).
The worst part is this woman still practices despite financial judgements against her. When I saw the headline in the voice
Type Miscast: An Elmhurst Doctor's Type 2 Diabetes Misdiagnosis Results in the Death of a Six-Year-Old Girl
Without even reading the article I knew exactly what happened. I knew the girl was chubby and had type 1.
Any doctor who didn't even bother to figure out if this girl had type 1 shouldn't be practicing medicine. I'm not even a fucking doctor and I saw a child with elevated blood sugar, I would assume type 1.
This is another case of treating fat instead of the disease.
September 30, 2013
Still not a disease
As I talked about a few months before, the American Medical Association decided that fatness is a disease, whether you're healthy or not. They are ignoring all logic and science. Some fat people are metabolically healthy while in some people fat is a symptom of disease. The gist is they want to try to impose same solution "Make the fat person eat less" that has never worked in the long run.
Why would the AMA do that? Could it be that the Affordable Health Care allows treatment of fatness that includes paying for diets, diet pills, and surgery.
Defining obesity as a disease should encourage more doctors to offer treatments like surgery and medication, Hamdy says. Two new obesity drugs, Qsymia and Belviq, were recently approved by the FDA
Qsymia is an appetite suppressor. It goes back to same fucking "cure" of eating less. And it has a mile long list of side effects. Of course you can say all meds have side effects. They do. However, why take a drug with terrible side effects that won't work?
And Belvig was proved to not work even before it was released.
The AMA's classifying the fatness as a disease opens up a lot of money to the diet industry. It will continue to work on the faulty assumption that we must make fat people eat less. The weight loss/gain cycle will continue.
Even this doctor in this TED video who is not being fat positive agrees that the issue isn't EATING TOO MUCH but metabolic issues that cause fatness in SOME but not all people.
Essentially stop trying to cure the fatness, instead cure the actual disease.
