Lara Frater's Blog, page 3

Open Letter to Carol Weston. XXXL is ok.

Due to life, I was unable to respond to directly to this letter by Carol Weston which talks about how horrible the childhood obesity epidemic is. Apparently It wouldn't have mattered because the New York Times printed no rebuttals from the fat community.

Dear Ms. Weston,

Can I call you Carol?

Like my peers, when I was a kid, I ate a lot of junk and highly processed food. The 1980’s was a big time to eat out of boxes, and soda, pizza, and candy were plentiful. In school every time there was a birthday, each kid would get one cupcake. I wasn’t into pizza until I was nine and then I couldn't get enough. For lunch, I usually went home to a sandwich or a can of soup, but once a week, for $2 I was able to get a slice, a small soda, and four things of candy (The candy lasted me most of the week). My peers were also stuffing themselves with pizza, candy, and soda. When I was nine something else happened, I started to get chubby (Maybe you're right, maybe it was the pizza) but I suppose I was still safe in your book, Carol, as I was still XL but not XXXL (Because after XL you cease to be human.)

However in the 80’s, there wasn’t any concern about the self-esteem of kids and teens.  I was fat and told to diet. No one mentioned dieting didn't work. And when I started, it took 17 years to stop. Meanwhile my thinner peers were ignored, weren’t told to skip pizza and the soda. We were told the basics of good nutrition, but the fat kids were singled out to change the way they eat.

A lot has changed since the 80s. It is not acceptable to put a child on a diet. And the general consensus is that dieting doesn’t work. It is also became less acceptable to call your child fat. Even if they are fat.

However there is still a massive push to be thin or else. Like me, fat kids are still singled out for their weight where thin kids aren’t. (Or told that if they eat that way they’ll get fat.) Fat kids are the reason schools don’t have cupcakes, pizza or soda (Please keep in mind, I’m pro healthy foods in school and regular gym, but I think an occasional cupcake, pizza or soda is not a big deal.)

You say you’re against dieting but you pressure kids to lose weight. What do you think a fat girl will do with your information? What do you think happens when she see signs like this?

Do you think she’ll laugh as she eats her pizza and gulp down her soda? You tell kids to lose weight but every way to do it doesn’t work for most people. You single out fat girls for eating pizza and not walking. They are the ones that are going to diet, they are the ones who are going to go on the binge/dieting cycle.
Instead let’s have healthy nutritious food and fun exercise for all children, not just fat ones. Let’s teach them to love their bodies whether it be XS or XXXL.

 

Dr. Oz, Snake Oil Salesman

I watched exactly one episode of Dr. Oz. I found him and his show to be superficial tripe. I watched the episode solely because Dr. Glenn Gaesser (A proponent of fit and fat) happened to be on.

Recently Dr. Oz was called in front of congress and chastised for his role in pushing diet products that don’t work in the long run. He was unapologetic about it.

Oz insisted he believes in the supplements he talks about on his show as short-term crutches and even has his family try them. He said his job on the show is to be a "cheerleader" for his audience, one who offers hope even if that means looking to alternative healing traditions and any evidence that might support them.

Dr. Oz pushed a diet product Pure Green Coffee on his show which later the FTC investigated for making false diet claims.  Dr. Oz scolded Dr. Gaesser for promoting fit and fat, but there are plenty of studies showing you can be fit and fat and as far as I know no study showing green coffee working in the long run (I found one short term study of 22 weeks where 16 people lost about 18lbs).

The weight-loss industry is an area where consumers are particularly vulnerable to fraud, Mary Koelbel Engle, an associate director at the FTC, testified at the Senate hearing. She said the agency conducted a consumer survey in 2011 and found that more consumers were victims of fraudulent weight-loss products than of any of the other specific frauds covered in the survey.

I don’t think people turn to snake oil salesmen because they’re stupid,  (I was dieting including fad ones long after I got my second master’s degree) I think they do it because they are desperate. We live in a world that preaches that thin is everything and that we must fit into a magical number of BMI 18.5 to 24.5 or we will die a horrible lonely death. Something Dr. Oz’s show often conveys.

And let’s not even talk about the fat suit.

 

Happy Birthday!

No blog post today because it's my birthday! And I'm still not one foot in the grave.

All Fat is Acceptable Fat.

Stacey Bias recently put out a rad comic about Fatty Archetypes. Including such fatty types as healthy fatties, rad fatties, fat athlete, work in progress (i.e dieting fatties), etc. These are fat people are “acceptable fat.” The point of the comic is to leave no one behind and communicate that we shouldn’t have to squeeze into an archetype.  
 
I talk a lot about health in my blog. Mainly because I think a lot of us fatties are denied health because we live in a fat hating world that preaches “Get thin or else”. We are penalized at the doctors where our fat is treated rather than our ailments, our insurance tries to charge us more for being fat, even at the clothing store we can’t get the sizes, styles, and quantity available to a thinner person. All  because we don’t fit into an arcane BMI number.  
This to me is more important than eating right and exercise. I believe that people of all sizes need to do their best to eat right and exercise. I believe we have the right to exercise without being harassed like Ragen Chastain was while she was running.  (I doubt something like this would happen to a thin person).
However not every fat person fits in the acceptable archetype. Some people are fat and don’t eat right or exercise. They are not a rad fattie, they don’t have a disease that makes them fat, they don’t shop at Whole Foods (Granted, no one should) or do Zumba and they’re not a fat unicorn (Which would be awesome). They are just fat. Guess what? They should have all the same rights and privileges as any other fattie.
This comes on the heels of research that I've been saying in my blog for 9 years. Long term weight loss is nearly impossible. Sure you go on a diet (or lifestyle change) and lose 20 pounds, but for most people that weight will creep back usually bringing the friend of additional weight gain.
 As incredible as it sounds, that's what the evidence is showing. For psychologist Traci Mann, who has spent 20 years running an eating lab at the University of Minnesota, the evidence is clear. "It couldn't be easier to see," she says. "Long-term weight loss happens to only the smallest minority of people."
So no matter what kind of fattie you are, there is no proof that you make it into the arcane number. 

Habits, dieting, and Weight Loss

Scientific American recently came out with an article that discusses ditching weight loss and dieting because of poor results. It refers to a man with health problems who instead of dieting began exercising and eating his fruits and vegetables. The results were minimal weight loss but an increase in health.
Everywhere we go, from the mouths of our peers, on every magazine rack, Internet ad, and weight-loss reality show, we get the message: you need to lose weight. You are too fat. Maybe it’s time to retire this line of thinking. 
The article isn’t fat positive (Although kudos to their using pictures of fat people eating healthy and exercising rather than a headless fatty).  It views weight loss as not important yet later says we shouldn’t judge fat people because maybe they already lost weight and it also makes no mention of Health at Every Size™ (HAES) which promotes healthy habits over weight loss.
However, it brings up the point that we push weight loss more than healthy habits. One of the reason I’m such an advocate of Health at Every Size is all my attempts to lose weight failed me. Once I realized diets don’t work for me (And for most people), I knew that I had to instead engage in healthy habits and not care if weight loss happened. I worked to make sure my meals included vegetables and fruit and that I exercised every day. I tried my best to avoid foods my body didn’t like and to not punish myself for a splurge.  
Maybe it’s time to go for a walk, or eat some asparagus, just because those are good, pleasurable things to do, and will make our lives better, whatever our weight.
Meanwhile a study shows that children who get vegetables earlier tend to still eat them later in life. 
Exposing infants to a new vegetable early in life encourages them to eat more of it compared to offering novel vegetables to older children, new research from the University of Leeds suggests.
I have mentioned on my blog that as a kid I loved vegetables, especially carrots, cucumbers, and peppers. Dieting ruined my love for vegetables. When I was on the dieting/binge cycle, I would hardly eat them if I wasn’t dieting.
We make habits so complex with dieting. There’s a million different diets out there, all with different advice, none of which have proved to work for most people in the long run. Meanwhile we ignore the age-old advice. Eat your vegetables and go out and play. I must rather the money from the diet industry be used to create parks, healthy school lunches and get rid of food deserts.

The Tale of Two Pants

I hope everyone in the States had a good holiday weekend and didn’t worry about calories at the multi-BBQ’s they went to (I ended up going to two.)

A lot of the pants I use for work were in dire need of replacement. Because I didn’t know in advance what kind of selection the Big Fat Flea would have, I bought two pairs of pants from Marshalls and ended up getting two more pairs from the Flea. (Technically three, but only two were for work)

My favorite type of pants are pinstripes. I think they are debonair and classy looking. I couldn’t find  a single pinstripe at Marshalls. After hunting their lackluster section, I ended up with two black pairs of pants.

At the flea I found many pinstripes and after trying them all on, I ended up with two pairs. 

Costs of my pants from Marshalls: $45
Costs of my pants from Big Fat Flea: $10.

The pants I got from Marshalls were just okay. Both were all black. One was cotton and loose and light for summer. The other was heavier meant for all seasons. The heavier one was a lint magnet. It seemed to come out of the laundry already with cat hair.  The lighter pair winkled easily.

 Meanwhile the two pairs I got from the flea  didn’t winkle or attract lint. They were both pinstriped and looked great on me.  I have mentioned before how hard it is to buy clothes. This isn’t a rant against Marshall, but department stores and even plus size stores don’t have the sizes, style, price, quality and quantity that I want. I can't just walk into a Lane Bryant or a Macys or a JC Penney and get what I need. I have to rely on a yearly event to make up the bulk on my wardrobe. I rely more on my fat sisters to give me what I need rather than a place that I'm willing to give money.

Weight Watcher's True Colors

Happy Belated International No Dieting Day!
I've been on multiple diets, but the one I did the most was Weight Watchers. I started when I was 16 and was off and on until I was 24. For eight years I did exchanges, then points. I lost weight then gained it back. No matter what I did, no matter the program, the team leader, my age, or location, I lost weight then gained it back plus more.
I believe it was my third time doing it when I (actually my parents) bought into the program where you can only buy their food. For breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, I could only eat the highly processed Weight Watcher's food and unlimited vegetables (I don't remember if the fruit was unlimited yet.) It didn't work and I weight cycled yet again. Using their foods only DID NOT change anything. I was strict on the program, lost weight, stopped, got hungry all the time, and then went on a massive binge. It was no different from when I did the program using my own foods.
When I stopped dieting, I tried to move to healthy foods which increased my interest in eating non-processed and organic food. Before I stopped dieting, I lived off of canned and boxed foods, even when I wasn't on a diet. (I should still eat Healthy Choice dinners because they were healthy, weren't they?)
Weight Watchers recently made a push to sell more of their frozen processed foods. I haven't eaten a Smart One meal in 15 years. (I don't eat any frozen foods except Amy's Gluten/dairy free burritos which I call emergency burritos because I eat them when my husband is home late and I don't want to cook.)
Unfortunately this push is more than just a "Buy our foods" deal. Katie Lowe of The Huffington Post refers to it as And for your 2014 U.S. marketing efforts, you've come up with a new campaign that -- without a hint of irony -- shames women for eating, and encourages them to adopt a healthier lifestyle by buying the range of processed, chemically formed patties you call "food."
Weight Watchers, Atkins, and genetic diet foods are often processed. (Even Atkins had these awful protein bars that tasted like cardboard) When I first started dieting, I ate diet foods not thinking about their content. It could come in a box, a can, a bag (thanks Nutrisystem) but if it was "Diet food" to me it was healthy.
Smart Ones aren't really healthy. They are high in sodium and low in fiber. To be honest, while my emergency burritos have natural (mostly) organic ingredients, they are also  heavily processed. But they don't have things like this list (taken from Smart Ones Egg and Cheese Wrap):
Tortilla (Water, Enriched Flour (Bleached Wheat Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Whole Wheat Flour, Modified Wheat Starch, Canola Oil, Wheat Gluten, Glycerine, Baking Powder [Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Bicarbonate Soda, Corn Starch, Monocalcium Phosphate], Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil, Sugar, Salt, Granulated Garlic, Citric Acid), Scrambled Eggs (Egg Whites, Whole Eggs, Corn Starch, Salt, Xanthan Gum, Annatto [Coloring]), Cheese Sauce (Water, Pasteurized Process Cheese Spread (American Cheese [Milk, Cheese Culture, Salt, Enzymes), Water, Whey, Sodium Phosphate, Milkfat, Salt, Sodium-Alginate, Lactic Acid, Apocarotenal (Color, Contains Soybean Oil)], Nonfat Milk, Cheese Flavor [Cheddar Cheese Flavor (Milk, Salt, Enzymes, Cultures), Flavors (Contains Autolyzed Yeast), Maltodextrin (Corn), Salt, Whey Powder (Milk, Modified Cornstarch, Garlic, Modified Cellulose, Annatto (Vegetable Color, Soy), Yeast Extract, Salt), Cooked Pork Sausage (Pork, Water, Salt, Spices, Sugar, Caramel Color],Tomatoes (Tomatoes, Tomato Juice, Calcium Chloride, Citric Acid), Green Chili Peppers, Mild Cheddar Cheese (Cultured Milk, Salt, Enzymes, Annatto (Color), Modified Cornstarch.
We can eat this or we can go to the farmer's market for fresh eggs, uncured bacon, and bread. None of which contain Monocalcium Phosphate.
Bon Appetit
Remember May 6th is International No Dieting Day, but we don't have to diet any day.

Feeling at Home

On Friday a train in Queens derailed. Thankfully no one was seriously injured. Unfortunately I needed that train to get to Big Fat Flea on Sunday.
 
That wasn't about to stop me.
 
I hate shopping in most stores. I procrastinate because I don't want to deal with tiny racks or trying on the small selections to maybe get two things that still didn't seem to fit right. I'd come home disappointed and frustrated because I didn't get what I needed.
 
I didn’t procrastinate when I came to the flea. The night before I plotted the best way to get there. Looking over subways lines, MTA advisories and even considered driving in (that was nixed due to the Five Boro Bike tour.) I wasn't about to miss the biggest fat shopping experience of the year.
 
I got there at about 10:20, checked in as a VIP (If you can afford it for $27 you can come in a half hour early. It's worth it to get your hands on the better selection and to avoid the lines.)
 
I gave myself 15 minutes to shop, 15 minutes to try on and then I would look at accessories and shoes. Something I could do while the big crowds swelled around the clothes.
 
Within fifteen minutes, my  bag overflowed with dresses, tops and pants. Many of which still had tags on it and I headed into the fitting area.
 
At one point the temporary wall marking off the fitting room collapsed and many of us stood there wearing just our undergarments (I had just tried on a top) but everyone took that in good humor. The whole atmosphere was lively. The dressing room filled with loving women who would try on clothes, get honest advice, and pass around clothes that didn't fit them.
 
I tried on everything and put less back than I ever had at any department store. With the  amazing selection, I didn't have to settle, there was plenty to choose from.
 
When I finally paid, my total was $61 for

1 dress with tags (originally marked as $56) Every year at the flea, I have something I call my ultimate find. This was it.
5 tops
3 pants
1 swim bottom
1 pair of shorts
1 bra

Remember I wrote that two weeks ago I spent $60 in Marshalls for two pairs of pants because out of the six I tried, these two looked "okay".
 
I had made a mental list of what to look for: Pants for work, shirts for different seasons, bike shorts.
 
Except for the bike shorts (#5 was regular shorts), I walked out with everything I wanted. The Flea gave me something other stores never could, not just selection and sizes but a big dose of self-esteem.
 
I can't wait for next year.
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Listening to your Body during Movement

I exercise every day. Biking, walking, yoga, swimming, and/or stretching. If I don't exercise I get tired, depressed, and feel worn out. I feel that I owe my body movement and the endorphins that come from it. I understand that some days my body is more open where I can bike 30 minutes, moderately walk for an hour, do yoga, and a sprint. Other days I'm lucky to get in my bike. Exercise instructor (and all around cool fat chick) Jeanette DePatie understands we need to do exercise but as much as our bodies can do and as we have to listen when it comes to intuitive eating, we have to do the same thing with exercise. We have to listen to the signals our body gives us duing exercise.

This sign to me represents a culture where we learn to ignore the signals our bodies send as we work out.  This is about a culture of masochism, where the more pain and agony you endure during a workout, the closer you bring your body to the edge of absolute destruction during a workout, the better.  And as an exercise teacher this makes me absolutely crazy.  Because, the messages you receive from your body are the most important line of defense, the most important tool you could possibly use to keep yourself safe as you work out.

We live in a culture of all or nothing. Where you either do hardbody exercise or none at all. Consider what I wrote about a few weeks ago about a study that was picked up by the media that fat women don't exercise but neglected to mention that we still moderately exercise. Not everyone (Not just fat people but thin ones too) can do a few hours of exercise a day.

The New York Times looked at a study that showed exercise was a key to longevity, regardless of weight.

Over all, people in the lowest exercise category had about twice the risk of dying from heart disease as those in the middle group and six times the risk of those in the group who exercised the most often and vigorously.

Meanwhile Atchka of Fierce Freethinking Fatties did an amazing run down of the Kramer study was picked up by the media as the reason you can't be fat and fit (I wrote about it in December 2013. Which he tracked down the author who even said the study showed that if you are fat, the best thing for you was to get fit.

These are different things. For example, if you are obese, it’s best if you are fit. Let’s say you exercise three times a week or four times a week, it has a protection compared to people that are obese and do not exercise.

The important issue here is to listen to your body. Take it for lovely walks, runs, swim whatever you and it enjoy.  Do it as much as you can while listening to what your body says.

Gather, Rather than Hunt

On Saturday morning, I decided to go shopping for pants. Being 10 am the morning before Easter, I figured I'd avoid the lines and the crowds at Marshalls, a close-out department store.

I've a hard body to buy for: a rectangle with an apple belly and large boobs, I usually have to try on many things before I can find maybe one item that fits me nicely. Most of the times pants that fit my waist make my legs look like tree trunks and pants that fit my legs make my stomach look like a giant sack. Tops are worse: clothes that fit my chest make me look pregnant or else I'm popping out of my shirt (Something my husband doesn't mind but work might.)

I don't really like to shop at Department stores. I prefer stores that stock only larger sizes (my issues with them are another story). No offense against thin folks, but at least I know the entire store is catered to large bodies including my size. However, I usually can get one or two things at Marshalls if I hunt. My local venue has gotten worse as far as plus sizes go. They used to have a large section in the middle of the floor. Now they are pushed over to the side and are limited to two large racks, and a few smaller ones. Dresses are the only sizes that are integrated.

Some days I go there and find some good pieces. Other days I don't know why I bother.

I was semi-successful on Saturday as I managed to snag Lauren pants that fit me nicely, and a pair of loose yoga pants that for $20 were good enough. Together they were $60.

Remember this is the “discount” store.

On May 4th is the Big Fat Flea in NYC. Last year I spent about the same amount at Marshalls and bought home a much cheaper and better selection. This is a flea market. Selection is based on donation, not a department store which is theory should be serving their customer’s needs. And knowing that two-thirds of the population need plus sizes, I’m surprised that Marshall’s plus size selection has shrunk.

Marshalls was a hunt. A hope that a wild pair of pants would appear and fit me properly. My hunting ground was only a few feet but still not a lot wild pants to be found.

At the Flea, it's a gather. I go through stacks and stacks of pants, dresses, shirts, jackets and miscellaneous. My size is located all in the same place, often towering because there is so much selection. I stuff things to try on in my bag which becomes heavy in my arms while my follow shoppers dig around with me, being friendly, giving advice. No one seems upset when someone grabs an Igigi dress before you can. You feel great when a person tells you, “This doesn’t look good on me, maybe it will look good on you.”

I come home exhausted but in a good way. My spirits are high as I check out my new clothes (and some are brand new with tags). And as I model my new clothes, I feel confident and happy.

I never feel this way at any department store.

 

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