P.A. Friday's Blog

Wayne R. Tripp – The Interview

Wayne's new release, Siren's Song has just been released. (It's brilliant.) So, I thought I'd catch up and ask him a few questions

1. So, tell us a little bit about Siren's Song.

Siren's Song is the story of a tramp steamer, and the romance and adventures of those aboard her.Built in the late nineteenth century, Siren's Song begins life as a small passenger liner running a route from England to South Africa and on to India. Her maiden voyage deals with a young woman journeying to the end of the earth to be reunited with her lost love. Of course, the lovers, steamer and the world are about to be plunged into the world-changing horror that was World War One. Later, as a worn-out tramp steamer, Siren, escapes from Europe with a load of Jewish refugees as World War Two heats up, and America invades North Africa. Of course, Siren will attempt to cross the Atlantic, dodging a U-boat with a strange reluctance to sink her.

Ultimately, we join Siren in the present, as a very old lady, with a new pair of lovers, out to learn all the steamer's secrets, perhaps at the cost of their lives.

2. How did the idea come to you?

My dad is a US Navy veteran of WWII. I grew up hearing stories of his adventures aboard two aircraft carriers ( one being the Ranger, featured in Siren's Song) and quickly learned to love war movies, aircraft and anything nautical. Over the years, he and I have realized that most of the books and movies about WWII deal with the war in the Pacific or the land war in Europe. Operation Torch  was the first really unified allied door-opener of the war against the Axis powers, yet it's been largely ignored. So I guess Siren's Song started as a bit of a tribute to my dad and all the other young men who put their lives on the line so early in the war. Being a certified scuba diver in New England for years, I had to throw some of my underwater experiences in. Many people envision shipwrecks as being largely intact, sometimes even having rotted sails still aloft. Having dove a number of wrecks here, I can assure you, most have been battered into twisted garbage.

3. Where can we buy it?

Siren's Song is available through Fido Publishing's website, and I imagine most of the usual e-book sources. I know Kindle has it.

4. Have you written anything else/do you have anything else in the pipeline? Tell us more!

Oh boy, we really are opening Pandora's box here. In my other life, I'm Jack Osprey, and I'm primarily a writer of erotic horror. I've a number of novels published by eXcessica and one by Noble, available through their sites, All-Romance, Kindle etc. There's the Grim Island trilogy, Ghast ( a South African serial killer who videos everything, but never leaves a body), and Rope Dance, the first in a series of pirate ebooks.  Excessica has also published All Steamed Up, the first in a series of steampunk adventures set primarily in England, India and the US. Ironically, I'm currently working on the third in the series, Penny, called Penny Dreadful, dealing with the further perilous adventures of Penelope Fox.

5. What's your ideal read/what authors do you adore?

Favorite authors. Well, Steven King, when he first began writing. The shining scared the poo out of me. Paul Kearney, Rudyard Kipling, and Caitlin Kittredge. Also Jaye Valentine and Reno Macleod.

6. Tell us three random/quirky things about yourself!

Let's see. Besides writing, I'm a painter of military figures (mostly British) and fantasy females. I've a habit of creating and painting a figure of each of my books' heroines.  Almost all of my books will contain elements or characters involved with the sea, and very often a pet monkey of some sort. Lastly, in writing Siren's Song, I included some real friends as characters. The sickly old husky, Kaiya, is my dog. Happily, at fifteen, she's still with us.

Interested readers can reach me at this email, rogueseadragon28@yahoo.com, or my website, Jack Osprey's Dark Dreams.

Remember What It Was Like At School, Parents!

Okay, all you parents out there. You have a clever kid. You're being driven crazy by the fact that zie doesn't seem to be making the most of hir opportunities. This is why. (Piece of advice: Do *not* show it to your clever children, but bear it in mind when dealing with them!)

There's one indelible rule if you're clever (by which I mean 'academically minded', which is not, in fact, the same thing) at school: never hint that you know you're good.

No, wait. There are two indelible rules – never show you know you're clever, and never ever show the teacher you are. There's one thing worse than acting like you know you've got a brain, and that's having the teacher act like she knows you've got one. Au revoir street cred. Auf weidersehn friends. Hello sad corner on your own.

Parents (not to mention teachers – and heaven help you if your parents are teachers) don't get it. They think you're 'being difficult'. God, if only they knew! You're doing all you can to avoid being difficult; being different; standing out.

Teachers may think they've got the power, but as anyone who's been at school knows, the teachers ain't got nothing on the kids. Teachers have you for the odd lesson here or there – classmates are a constant; and if there's any suggestion that you're any teacher's pet (let alone being the type that all the teachers like), your school career – in any social way – is over.

Don't try telling this to your parents. There is an inbuilt faculty in parents which means the forget every detail about their own school days and mutter things about future prospects and wishing they were your age again – a stupid statement that they'd take back within seconds if it actually came true.

The cleverest thing you may ever do at school is hide the fact that you're clever. After all, you need to survive your teenage years to to have any chance of having that glittering future that your parents are sure awaits you- if only you showed your true intelligence. Survival of the fittest? Fuck that. Survival of the most socially aware – that's what school is.

Why What's Happening in Wisconsin Matters To You

Penelope Friday turns her blog over to Wisconsin dweller Rosemary Amico, who explains why what is happening at the moment in the State of Wisconsin has relevance to people all around the world.

You might have heard about the goings-ons in US Midwestern state Wisconsin this past week, but what you might not know is how important what's happening is to the whole country, possibly the whole world.

For a little background, Wisconsin has long, strong histories with both left and right political movements, making politics in this state fascinating to watch and a bit nail-biting. In this past November's election, the Republican Party took control of the house, senate, and governor's seat, upsetting what had been a Democratic majority for years.

Scott Walker, former mayor of Wisconsin's largest city of Milwaukee, was elected in November and came to power this January when he immediately began taking actions similar to those of newly elected Republican governors across the country, enacting a Republican agenda that includes giving tax breaks to the rich who put them into office and a slash and burn tactic towards state assistance programs like health care and food assistance.

But what has really struck a nerve with progressives and moderates on the left alike, have been his attacks on the working class. In a bill put forth this week, which he has dubbed a "budget repair bill", Governor Walker has proposed doing away with the collective bargaining rights of public employees.

Wisconsin was the first state in the US to protect the rights of public employees to collectively bargain in 1959. Wisconsin, therefore, is being used a test case: if it can happen here, it can happen anywhere; and conversely: if we can fight it here, they can fight it everywhere.

And fighting it, we are! The state capitol of Wisconsin, Madison, has been afire with protesters against this bill all week. With numbers swelling every day (estimates for Saturday's rally were around 70,000), and smaller rallies going on in cities across the state, the workers of Wisconsin are trying to get through to their governor and legislators that they won't stand for this abuse of power.

Walker's bill excludes the firefighter and two law enforcement unions – not coincidentally the only three unions who supported his run for office. However, members of all three of these unions have taken up the protests in solidarity with their fellow workers – and so have many private sector unions. This all despite Walker and fellow Republican's efforts to divide and conquer labor movements and the middle class.

But this doesn't all stop with Wisconsin. Republican governors in states across the country are trying to get through similar legislation. In nearby Ohio, hundreds have been marching on their own capitol in protest against a very similar bill, and rallies are starting up in many other states. In states that aren't in danger themselves from such actions, rallies and vigils are being planned to show solidarity with Wisconsin workers and workers in other states.

This movement is picking up steam… and not just around the country but outside of it as well. It's been clear that recent happenings in Egypt have been inspiring protesters in Wisconsin, and apparently that has gone both ways as pictures of Egyptians holding up signs with messages of solidarity with Wisconsin have shown up on the internet and Kamal Abbas, general coordinator of Egyptian union organization Centre for Trade Unions and Workers Services, has also come out with public support for American workers.

Meanwhile, Wisconsin state Democratic senators and assembly representatives have been fighting against their Republican majority in various ways to delay passage of the budget repair bill to give the public (and themselves) more time to understand what all the bill entails and fight against it.

All 14 of Wisconsin's Democratic senators have fled the state because if they don't show up for work, then the state senate does not have the numbers to pass fiscal bills, such as this one. Democratic assembly reps, who don't share the power to block passage of bills like the senators, have continually asked for more time to review the bill and expressed outrage when Republican reps, on Friday, tried to pass the bill into an unamendable state in the Democrat's absence. Being called out on this illegal action forced Republicans to put the bill back into an amendable state and adjourn until Tuesday, giving Democrats more time to draft amendments.

Why all this fuss to delay what is likely inevitable, considering the Republicans hold the majority and will be able to pass this bill anyway? To start with, this 144-page bill is about much more than the purported budget balancing. Walker has refused offers from unions to concede on salary and benefits to meet budget requirements if he will come down on the collective bargaining issue, proving that he is more concerned with stripping away labor rights than balancing the budget. Add in his power grab over state funded programs that assist the state's disabled, elderly, and poor to make it possible for him to do away with such programs altogether, and it's clear why fighting this bill is essential for both the middle and lower classes of Wisconsin.

With so many other states trying similar tricks, it is also clear that this fight is not just about Wisconsin workers, not just about public sector unions, not just about unions or the working class at all. It is clear that the Republican party is indeed striking a major blow in class warfare of the worst kind – attempting to pit class against class, public unions against private, and union workers in general against those working without a union.

And if it works here in Wisconsin, it can work in other states across the US. And if it works here in the US, it can happen in other countries across the globe. This fight is not just for Wisconsinites, not just for public employees, not just for the middle class. This fight is for you (unless of course you happen to be a billionaire).

For further links and information see Rosemary's Journal.

Please, BBC, Don't Insult Your Viewers

I've been hesitating mentioning the whole Top Gear furore because mentioning the programme or the presenters makes people presume I'm having a go at "whatever it is they've said this time", when frankly I could be trimming my greenie-liberal beard or buffing up my sandals! I don't really give a bugger about what the presenters of Top Gear say, because they go out of their way to offend – it's like watching small children who've just learned their first swear word shouting "BUM!" at top volume in the hope of getting a response.  Life is Too Short!

However, what really does piss me off is that given a whole lot of people saying "actually that's not acceptable" and giving reasons, the BBC's response is to say "you just don't understand humour".

That same argument from Clarkson et al themselves? Have heard SO MANY TIMES and they're not important enough for me to worry. But that the BBC is prepared to patronise viewers rather than suggest that anything on Top Gear (one of their biggest grossing programmes, by the way – and yes, I'm sure that's relevant) could possibly be wrong? I'm hugely uncomfortable about that.

I've heard that particular "oh, you can't take a joke" response too many times in too many outrageous situations. I'd take it from the presenters, but from a national corporation? Not content with telling the world that we're racist and it's funny ("jokes made around national stereotyping are commonplace, and are indeed a robust part of our national humour. Typically the most comedic ones are negative"), the BBC helpfully tells the people who complained that they just aren't clever enough to understand the difference between humour and offensiveness.

It may appear offensive to those who have not watched the programme or who are unfamiliar with its humour.

Okay. How many times do you have to have seen Top Gear in order to be allowed to complain? Ten times? One hundred? Every Single Episode? Is it so complex that it takes several years of careful study in order to be able to speak about it? Blimey, and there I was thinking that it was a program about cars…

Love and Disability

Love is one of the most important things in human existence; a basic need that everyone needs fulfilling in some way or another. Romantic love is something that most people yearn to experience, and which can bring great happiness, but can also come with many pitfalls, particularly for people with disabilities. Love is not something that can be legislated about: people with disabilities have ever greater protection and support in law, but no one can enforce love. Yet despite that, many disabled people have extremely happy romantic and sexual relationships, even if the relationships may not work in the typical ways expected of couples.

Some of the issues people with disabilities may experience include: difficulty meeting potential partners, explaining disability to an able-bodied partner, learning to cope with the needs and requirements of partner who is also disabled, finding satisfactory ways of expressing physical love, and further difficulties that may be involved as GLBT people with disabilities. These are problems that are not going to vanish over night, but with a greater understanding of disabilities – something which is being helped along by positive legislation in terms of work and education – there is hope that more and more disabled people may be able to find romantic love and happiness.

Winnie The Pooh Goes SatNav

You know how, with satnav, you can choose the voice that will direct you? Well, it got me thinking… what would it be like if characters from Winnie The Pooh were your satnav characters of choice?

So I give you…

Eeyore:

"If anyone's listening to me – which I doubt – you need to go left at the next exit. Yes, that one you just passed at top speed. Oh, I suppose you could take the next left, but I can't answer for where it would take you. Probably somewhere you didn't want to go."

Piglet and Pooh

Piglet: "I think… but I might be wrong… but I think that turning left might be a good idea. Of course, I'm only a Very Small Animal and I haven't done a lot of navigation before, but… Pooh, don't you think it's left here?"

Pooh: "What's been left here?"

Piglet: "Don't you think they should turn left now?"

Pooh: "Oh. Yes. Definitely. Unless it's right. They need to do one or the other, but I'm not quite sure which. Now, if they were looking for a place which had a nice spot of honey, such as one might take a small nibble of at, say, eleven o'clock…"

Piglet: "But they're not, Pooh."

Pooh: "Not what?"

Piglet: "Looking for honey."

Pooh: "Oh. In that case, it's definitely left they need to go. Unless I mean right."

Roo and Kanga

Roo: "Look at me! Driver, look at me! Passengers, look at me! I'm navvy-directing you. They said I was too small, but look, I am!"

Kanga: "Roo, dear, give the nice people some directions."

Roo: "That's what I'm doing! Look, look, look at me directing! Oops, I think you were supposed to turn left back there…"

*

Anyone got any other characters to add to the mix?

Jennifer Hunter – Organiser Extraordinaire

1. So – a professional organiser. What precisely does that mean?

In my case, I'm a residential organizer, which means I work exclusively in people's homes. I'm hired by individuals as a consultant, in the same way that one might hire an interior decorator or personal trainer. I work alongside my clients to help them shape their living environment into one that supports their needs and goals. In practical terms, this means that I'm guiding and supporting their decision making process about what to do with their stuff. There are a few different types of professional organizers. The National Association of Professional Organizers has a useful page on the subject.

2. What sort of person employs an organiser?

Jewish women with cats. For a few weeks at one point, all my clients were Jewish women with cats.

Seriously, anyone can benefit from the services of an organizer – even organizers sometimes hire other organizers to help them with their own blind spots at home or work. My clients have been male, female, and transgendered; ordinarily-abled and disabled; from age 5 to 60-something; in bad neighborhoods and affluent areas. I have worked for hoarders in dirty and dangerous living conditions, but also people who agonized about a small stack of mail sitting out on a kitchen counter. The one thing they have in common is that they aren't happy with the relationship they have with their stuff, and need some outside help to transform it.

3. How does it work?

First, I always do a free phone consultation. The client tells me what she needs and I tell her what I can offer. If it sounds like a go, we make plans for me to come over. I also have a form I email the client to fill out, which tells me more about her situation: what seems to be the biggest problem, what works, what doesn't, how other people in the home figure in, and so forth. I also encourage her to set some goals:

What sort of a home does she want to have? Everything we do has to be pointing toward those goals. When I come in, we do a walk-through, then we sit down and talk about strategy.People often think the question of where to start is of paramount importance (and this is why they get stalled), but in my experience it's mostly important just to start. Sometimes, when the clutter is so extensive that it has become dangerous – such as blocking stairs, hallways, and exits, or growing mold or housing infestations – we focus first on getting things back to a safe situation. Another strategy is to go from the public to the private areas, or to start with the home office or desk, or to attack areas in order of how annoying they have become to the client.

The usual sorting technique is to go through each item together and decide whether it stays, gets thrown away, gets recycled, or gets donated to charity. If it stays, we decide if it belongs in this room or another, and stuff goes into boxes or piles to go to other rooms. We don't run around the house distributing things; we stay put, to conserve time and energy. The general rule is to start with one distinct area and expand that area as you go, so we do half a kitchen countertop, or a corner of a room, or a shelf of a closet, at a time.

The process depends a lot on how cluttered the space is. If there is visible garbage, that goes first. Of course the sorting process is slightly different if we're working just on paperwork, or just on a bedroom closet full of clothing. But the basic principle is the same – does it stay or does it go, and then, how does it stay or go? We may also talk about storage options in terms of furniture or containers, make some changes to the way the space is utilized, and address big picture questions that come up for the client: Who am I? What stuff do I need, use, and love? What does my stuff say about me?

At the end of the session, we talk about what the client is going to do on her own before the next session (whether that's actual homework, or just a commitment to keep the organised space the way it is). I make sure that everything we have taken out is put away, and we schedule the next session. I usually go to my car with a few boxes or bags of donations to go to charity.

4. If you were to give two tips for helping someone get organised, what would they be?

1. Own less stuff, any way you can. Ditch what you have. Choose quality over quantity. Say no to freebies and "deals." Find other sources of emotional gratification besides retail therapy.

2. Think in terms of "real estate." Whatever you use most often should be in the best real estate in the house – in other words, the easiest to access. Your coffee maker could stay out on your kitchen counter, your pens on your desktop. Things used less often should go into decreasing qualities of real estate. Your clothing can be inside a dresser, and the old tax returns should wind up way out in the slums (like the back of a closet or a crawl space).

5. Confession time – what area of organisation do you find most difficult personally?

Time! Physical stuff, I can handle. But I have a difficult time pacing myself or knowing how long things will take. I manage to be on time for things, but that's only as a result of fairly compulsively checking my watch. I'm also not great about prioritizing my time, and I procrastinate too much. I'm trying to get better about it, though.

6. Where can people find out more about you?

My organising website is at http://www.findyourfloor.org (the org is for organising!).

7. If people are not local to you, is there any place to look for organisers in their area? Organisers United, or something?

NAPO, the National Association of Professional Organizers, is a good starting point. It's mostly American, but there are members all over the world (and that's why they're thinking about changing their name to something more "international," so stay tuned). The website will allow you to search for an organiser in your area.

8. Tell us three interesting facts about you!

1. I was a writer and editor before I began organising. Among other things, I wrote four books on NeoPaganism, two of which are still in print!

2. I'm an artist. I work in collage and decoupage with "found objects."

3. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.

http://www.jenniferhunter.com has links to my books on Amazon, and to my art website.

Fiction: A Trip To The Hereafter

A Trip To The Hereafter

It's not such a bad thing, you know, dying. I should know – death and me hang around together quite a lot, and he's always good for a pint of beer and cadging a few fags. Sorry, I'm being frivolous, and it looks like you're not in the mood. Can't help it: I'm always a bit like this. Anyway, would it really be better if I came into people's rooms and sang sad songs for thirty minutes before I killed them? I mean, would that really cheer you up? I don't think so, somehow. You wouldn't, either, if you'd heard me trying to sing… Back on the jokes again, sorry.

But seriously – dying isn't that terrible. What do you mean "like you'd know"? I've died, haven't I? Well, yes, okay, granted I rose again and became undead, but that doesn't mean I didn't die. I've died just as much as the next vampire. Or man. Or, indeed, as you are so quick to point out, woman. And no, you are not going to rise from the dead and kick my sorry little arse, thank you. And it's quite inappropriate to want to be undead, anyway. We're the dregs of society – didn't you tell me that yourself not five minutes ago when I first appeared? Oh, compared to dying it's looking like quite a good plan, I see. But I've told you twice, dying isn't anything like it's cracked up to be. A quick nibble, a nice long kiss to the neck and you'll be floating away in some beautiful dream.

Well, no, you won't be coming back from the beautiful dream, I admit, but as ways to die go, I think this is really about the best you could hope for. I mean, I'm not going to kill you slowly using only a bowl of water and a piece of string. I'm not going to let you linger on in pain for years and years when you and your relatives all wish you'd just hurry up and die. One little nip and it all goes cloudy.

Well! Of all the ungrateful victims I've come across, you're the worst. Here am I, offering you a nice, warm trip to the Hereafter – single journey only, no returns – you should be biting my hand off with eagerness! No, not such a good metaphor really, in the circumstances, you're quite right. But you should be at least considering my nice nature. Have I flown in on you unexpectedly, jumped on you in the dark and started savaging you to bits? I have not. I have sat down on your bed and had this lovely chat – and I've let you finish your drink, which I think was very tolerant of me, considering that I can't join you – and am waiting for you to be calm and content before we move onto the next phase.

Which is, yes, your death, and I'm terribly sorry you feel like this about it, but really I can't see what else I could do. I mean, I can go and hide in your cupboard for a while and wait till you're asleep… You don't think that'd work now you've met me? Perhaps you're right…

Well look, here's my final offer. I'll read you a bedtime story, tuck you up nicely and then just slide in beside you in the bed and suck gently on your blood. Still not happy?

Some humans. Just don't appreciate a good offer when they hear it.

The Joy of Erotic Eating

Erotic foods need to be special. There has to be an edge of decadence, of luxury. A feeling that this is something unusual, to be treasured and enjoyed. Everyone knows that some foods are sexier than others – but why are they? What makes one substance erotic and another not?

Well, there's lots of reasons. The cost has a part to play: it helps to feel that this is something that you wouldn't – and indeed couldn't – have every day. That's part of the reason why truffles are treasured as erotic; why drinking champagne is more sensual than a pint of lager. It marks the moment out as An Occasion rather than just another meal.

Eating foods which you know you 'shouldn't' is also sexy. Erotic eating takes no consideration of diets; a meal loses something of its romance when you're worrying about how many calories you're consuming, or virtuously avoiding foods high in fat or sugar. It's why thick double cream is sexy and crème fraiche, no matter that it has the same texture, isn't. Forgetting your usual diet and just going for it also has the bonus of creating a tingling feeling that you're doing something a little bit naughty – and naughtiness and sex go together perfectly.

Chocolate, of course, has to have its place in discussions about erotic food, with some people (usually women) claiming that chocolate is better than sex. So if you could get both chocolate and sex, that's surely the best answer! But again cost and type is important. The deepest, darkest chocolate is best (which, of course, costs more than milky chocolate) – the higher the cocoa solids level the better.

With all erotic foods, though, less is more. With its deep chocolate-y taste, plain dark chocolate is far less likely to encourage bingeing on it than the every day types. One glass of champagne encourages eroticism; more might increase desire but would lower performance levels. A heavy meal is not the best foundation for passionate love-making.

Of course, it's not solely about the food itself. The surroundings matter – a salad and chicken at a high-class restaurant will always be a more sensual experience than the same at McDonald's, no matter the difference (or not) in the quality of food. Candle-light, soft music, a feeling of being waited upon rather than helping yourself, the chance to linger over the food, clasp hands with your lover, have low-toned romantic conversation – these are all things which a fast food outlet won't give you but which add to the erotic potential of a meal.

Treat yourself – and your partner. Go out to a restaurant a little more up market than you'd usually choose. Eat whatever you fancy – in moderation – and sip at ice cold champagne. And then see if you can tell me that you'd be just as much in the mood for sex if you'd eaten fish and chips at the local takeaway…

Thrace

Okay, so my science fiction anthology, Thrace , has been out for a couple of weeks now. I'm actually very pleased with it (and, for once in my life, with the titles of the three stories – Let Tsygons Be Tsygons, Electric High and An Equal Opportunity Murderer ).

Obviously, it is time for a teaser from the stories:

Jed took a step outside the shuttle port and physically recoiled. It was not, in fact, the atmosphere that bothered him. Inside the TENT, he was able to breathe as normal, even if the strange sensation of the garment was going to take some getting used to. No, it was…

The concrete. The vast, unending concrete everywhere Jed looked. The sense of greyness: the buildings were grey, the vehicles were grey, even the sky was grey. Grey and dull and depressing. Gielgud really was the shit-hole he'd been told it was. Huge silver sky-eyes hung in the air, keeping watch over the city of Thrace. An autocoach (grey) roared overhead. Jed had to fight to force himself to stay put, not to run back to the port and beg for the first shuttle out of here.

Nothing was natural. No plants grew. There were no insects, no crawling wee beasties, no soil, no mountains, no water. There was concrete. And more concrete. And yet more concrete still.

"Fuck," he said comprehensively; and found that he could barely hear his own voice over the sounds of the city. A shuttle was leaving for Earth, and the blast was shaking the ground beneath his feet, while above him aero-route after aero-route slid into the far distance, the traffic zooming past with an irritating electrical hum.

"Jed Wilson?"

Jed jumped, as his name was spoken somewhere behind his right shoulder. He turned, and came face to face with what was clearly a Tsygon. Three eyes – two positioned as in humans, with a third, larger eye mid-forehead. Dark, almost black, skin. A strange garment which seemed to change even as Jed looked at it. And a tail. A long, long, tail.