Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 59

The Appearance of Evil. (The Appearance!)

 We don't even have to ask ourselves, as Christians (followers of Christ), if we're supposed to play or dabble in the occult. It's a no-brainer. You don't do it. You don't play with the Quiji board and tease your friends by saying "It's not real", "It's a game" ...or "lighten up!", because it's not a game, and it is real. Sure, it's fun, it's a lot of fun with friends and family, just sitting around laughing and asking questions that you already know the answers to, but you want to see if the mojo in the room will help steer your hands as you and others barely touch the pointer.  C'mon, it's a game, right? No.

    It's not just the Ouiji board or game either; there are so many other normal things that the average person is into that you start checking and looking at, thinking about, living by, and following.  Horoscopes are one of the easiest ways to start the slippery slope because of how informative and fun they can be. It's all very general when you delve into it a bit further, and then they hook you with something that may or may not be in your most recent future and you start questioning if the psychic was right after all. Maybe you should have a full reading. It can't hurt, right? Yes. It can.

    The Zodiac is not the same thing as the Horoscope.  God made the stars, keep that in mind. He placed them in the Heavens. They are there for a couple of reasons, and He tells you straight up those reasons. One is for guidance, you can literally navigate using the constellations because they don't change, and the stories that are set in the stars literally tell the birth, life, death, and resurrection as well as the return of Christ! Think about it; Virgo (birth) to Leo (Return) and in the middle are things such as events, Satan, communication, and the death of Christ, it's all in there. He saw to that. Then Satan came around and bastardized the stories, causing folks to follow the stars through worshipping them, asking for advice in a perverse manner, and yeah, we ended up where we are today with the idiots telling us that you'll end up with a lover soon, have great wealth, or die a death of sorrow. People pay good money to hear stupid things.

    Christians aren't supposed to even hang out with others who do things that APPEAR to be evil. It's not the evil itself that is the offense really, as our Lord is so much bigger, stronger, better, and more glorious than anything Satan can throw at us. Satan hasn't died and been resurrected. It is the APPEARANCE of evil that we are to obtain from, because the mere appearance, the look, the brim, the edge, whatever you want to call it, is a lure. It drags us in with fluff, pretty things, fun, fellowship, and game-like energy, and hey, it's nearly 2023...times have changed! Have they?  When was the Bible written again? Oh yeah, thousands of years ago. So THOUSANDS of years ago there were people lying to others about what is and what is not acceptable. Something about a snake will always remind you of the Garden of Eden, and there's a reason for that. Snakes aren't bad, but the appearance of one will cause you to pause. 

    When perception is a reality for most of us, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious about the appearance we are showing and the perception we are giving out as a witness IF IN FACT, we are claiming to be born again.  None of this pansy-wansy mixed messages crap that we see will due. If you're born again, say so. Live it, show it, be it, let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Don't wrap yourself in a rainbow and expect others to SEE or PERCEIVE you as anything other that what you are wrapped in. Choose you this day who you will serve. Don't let your message say one thing, but your appearance be another. Oh, but Joseph had a coat of many colors, right? Maybe it was the rainbow coat.  

    Don't kid yourself, and don't try to make something that isn't true, true. Be honest. If you're gay say you're gay. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Deception is just that, deceptive. If you're proud of who you are, own it. God knows the truth. He didn't make you that way, your relationship with God is YOUR relationship with Him, but know this. He doesn't change. If He said (67 times in the Bible) that something was NOT GOOD and that it WAS SIN, then He's not going to suddenly accept you for what you are now; He does not change. His yes is still yes. His NO is still NO. 

    Can gay people go to Heaven? Ask God. I think a person goes to Heaven if they have accepted Jesus as their personal Savior. Being gay is a sin, but there are no levels of sin. Can a person be sinless? No. Does God forgive sin? Every day. Paul mentioned something worth looking into. Paul said that while we do often do that which we don't want to do, and we end up being who we don't want to be, we should not allow the fact that God forgives sin to allow us to continue in our sin. That too would be sinful. We are to repent, which means to STOP the behavior, and become a new creature in Christ, not the same old idiot we were before we accepted Him, and certainly not continuing in known sin after we have accepted Him. Our witness not only takes a beating but it is also destroyed when we do that. Think about Lot. He was a man after God, but sin took his credibility to be meaningful or respected. Sure, he was still protected, but he was not blessed. Why do that?

    Forsaking sin is hard! Giving up things that look like fun, are fun, and would be fun, that's tough to do. God never said being a Christian was supposed to be boring, but He never said it would be a walk in the park either. Too many martyrs should tell you that much. You haven't suffered. Look what is happening in Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea, Iran, Nigeria, China, Saudi Arabia, and other places where the mention of Jesus Christ can get you slaughtered instantly! You have not suffered. If you, being a Christian, are allowing your eyes and your mind to dwell on sites (think Instagram) where you can follow wickedness, the occult, in-your-face sinful debauchery, pornography, racism, you name it, if you've been adding sites (and people) that would bring into question who you follow and who you say you serve, then maybe you need to do a bit of housecleaning...and I don't mean on social media. I mean in YOUR HEART and IN YOUR SOUL.  It's the appearance!  We see it.  STOP.

    Not one of us, including myself, is able to create a single breath that we breathe. We don't own anything. We don't have the right to claim any power. We are absolutely nothing without our God. When did you forget that? Why did you forget that? Why pollute your online witness for the thousands of people who follow you and think you're the best -- who know you now as someone who compromises, who seeks PRIDEFUL things and damaging things? Maybe it's time to readjust the lenses and focus on the Word. God doesn't change. We did. God doesn't change His Word (Thank you, Jesus) and He doesn't change His Truth. You will not drag His name through the mud for very long. He gives, but He also takes away. The appearance of evil is all anyone needs to think about before judging you. EVEN if what you're really doing is just looking -- don't follow it. Don't post photos of things that will or do dishonor Him. We all do it. I would pray and I mean it, I would pray that someone would have the balls to tell me when I screw up. I have a hard time seeing it in my own life. Please, if you see it, let me know. The last thing I want to do is appear to be something I should not be. 

    Keep the KINGDOM in sight. He is the Light in the darkest of nights. He is the GOLD and He is the perfect Father. The rest is a lie. Don't let it keep you from being who you were and who you can be again. He is the rock, your refuge. Return. The really good news is because He doesn't change, it means He's still there, right where you FOUND Him before. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey."  I love that song. It has gotten me through so much.

 

Photo Credit: SteveHawley.Blogspot.com

My Love and Quit Relationship with the Gym.

 I really think on my YMCA membership my name should appear in the Y's for Yo-Yo. I don't seem to make it through three months of consecutive membership without deciding to cancel and call it quits for this or that reason. The reason(s) tend to be the same, so you'd think I'd figure it out, and either stop joining (again and again, thinking they'll do something about it) or that I would just suck it up like a normal human and do what is expected of me. I can't do that. They charge too much for what I get! If I'm not getting even what I pay for, why continue?

    Laura and I joined again this past November, maybe late October, I can't remember. Every time I join it's like a blur and then when I quit I remember why I quit the last time. Not much has changed.  Though the facility is actually just across the street, and it seemingly has everything we could possibly want out of a gym, it doesn't have everything we could possibly want, and we are faced with that fact...again.  They promised an extension with a pool. It didn't happen, but we can drive over to the other gyms that have pools!! No, that's not quite the same. First World issue, I understand but it is a real one for us. It is for me because I don't really have that much extra time during the week to waste driving and parking, walking in, signing in, chatting, swimming, drying off, driving home, yada yada.

    We don't seem to find the time from when I get off work to when Laura gets off work, to then, step across the street to even do a 30-minute workout most days. We say we will, and we do for a few weeks, then one or the other can't make it, and the other doesn't go alone. I don't go alone because I often get accosted by people who want to chat. I don't chat!! I need a shirt that says "No really, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to work out." Some people do not get the hint even when you say it boldly to them! Laura can go alone, she has her headphones on and she literally ignores people who approach her. I think I'm too nice. Mom raised me to be cordial. I think maybe I did a better job with Laura. I know I did with Reuben, he's brutal.

    We have just about everything we need at home to do a full-body workout, it's just that the weight machines are top-notch, and I love it. I keep saying to myself that I'll end up buying a couple of the types of machines we need then when we have a house with a two-car garage we'll have one side for the car and one for the gym. That may be a minute, but it is a plan. (as I wrote that I realized that Laura will likely be with me for another 33 years.) Some things are bound to change while other things are bound to stay the same. The YMCA is not going to change. The location I am closest to will never expand. I need to accept that. They may say they will get funding for something, but they are not actually going to do it. 

    Well, it is what it is. I can just suck it up, and do more weight training at home. Fewer weights more reps I suppose. I mean, yeah, I could put the money into buying more equipment but I don't think so. I'll just be more diligent about my home workouts now and drag Laura into the living room to work out with me. It's not like I have to use her to bodyguard me from anyone coming up to chat. The dogs and the cats tend to work out right beside me. Doga and Catoga! We are champions at these sports!! Let me tell you!  Bring it. Doggy-downward has an entirely different meaning in our house. When we roll out the yoga mats the animals vie for positions around them. Crazy!! (at least it's not yoga with goats)

Photo Credit: GoatsToGo.farm

The Eyes are Starting to Show My Age!

 I think my mom was way into her 50s as was my dad when they needed to get their first prescription glasses. I got a pair when I was 58, but I never wore them because (and as the Opty told me) the Rx was less than 100+ readers. He thought it would be cheaper for me anyway if I just bought a pair of those with the blue screen protection and call it a day.  He made me the Rx glasses, and I really liked the frames I picked out, so I may end up using the frames on a second pair of my NEW glasses, which actually do have a real Rx....because I'm OLD and my eyes are starting to prove that point.

    My O.D. is here in OKC and I'll give the shout-outs to Oklahoma City Vision on N.W. 63rd.  GREAT people, great work, great team!! I think I'll end up paying $117 after my insurance picks up the tab for the standard lens without anything special like the lighter poly, the bluescreen, and the something else that you need and they don't pay for. Insurance did pay for the new frames, so I'll keep the ones I have now, and just get a second pair using the same Rx in about a month or so. I like having two pairs of glasses; one for the office and one for home. I know it sounds really dumb, but I don't like being responsible with things like glasses. I want to have several of them scattered about so I don't have to remember to put them in my purse. What if I change my purse? What if I lose my purse? It has happened.

    Three years ago, when I went in to get the first set of real glasses I've ever had to get, I really didn't need to get them. My company, which was a school district, thought that teachers looked more authoritative with them, so they asked us to get them and it was more of a strong recommendation than anything else. Since I was already on their bad side because I DARED to introduce Bloom's Taxonomy to the 6th graders, and fought the wrath of several staff members because of it, I decided to smooth things over and wear the glasses. I hated it.

    About six weeks into the experiment my left eye developed a floater, and I swear it was because I was being forced to wear stupid glasses. Of course, my Opty disagrees and said it was...get this....my age! No. Sorry, that's impossible.  Apparently, people aren't built to last 1000 years and it makes me wonder if back in the day if all the Biblical characters we know and love had a need that they couldn't fix. How many of our beloved story heroes and villains ran into walls, trees, and other people but it was never mentioned in any of the 66 books of the Bible. Not once.  You know there had to be folks who squinted! C'mon. 

    Well, Dr. Forester was thorough, and his assistants were equally amazing. I know you've probably seen or experienced having the BRIGHT white light treatment on both of your eyes while being examined. It's torture, and you have to sustain it, take it, suffer, and make it happen for about a nano-second, but you have to do that 4 times, twice for each eye. I blinked, and the gal still managed to get the shot! BAM! Then, when the good doctor showed me my eyeballs all blown up and full of veins he started telling me about the freckle I have on my right eye, the floater I have on my left, and tiny tiny tiny white dots on both that were caused by cholesterol issues when I was heavier and didn't eat as well I do now. He said they won't go away, but with good health, they won't get worse. 

    You'd think he'd stop there, and tell me how amazing I am, that at 61 I have 20/20 vision when I have the corrective lens; which again are really low in number, but for sharpness (since I read a lot and am on a computer). NO...the man did not stop there, he added an even higher Rx than I had before, but it really did make a difference in the shapes of the letters he was showing me.  He even let me wear some really cool steampunkish-type glasses with interchangeable lenses. He said Benjamin Franklin designed the original type set. 

    What I see as a thinner font with my 100+ readers at 20/20 I will see thicker and bolder but the same size with the 150 Rx. I'm doing the single lens, no bifocal. I don't like that whatsoever, no thank you.  He said he could make me a 2nd Rx for distance and driving, but after taking another vision test I didn't need it. He said the readers with the bluescreen protection will work as the only issue I have when driving is when it's dark and the headlights are glowing and showing halos. Don't tell me you don't know what I mean! Yes, you do. It doesn't mean we're old. It means people have stupid halos on their car headlights!

    Anyway, the man would NOT STOP (because he's really fantabulous at what he does) and he told me I have the beginnings of cataracts? WHAT THE HELL? That's something OLD people have!!  He explained to me that they were incredibly small and nothing to worry about for another 5-8 years and he also said that people my age usually have them because of the computers, tablets, cell phones, and such that do have blue screens.  He didn't give me a name but said he recommended a patient (female) who was 44 years old, to have full-scale cataract removal surgery as she had been using a computer since she was 18 or so, and never had been told to wear blue screen protection. I'm telling you now...you need blue screen protection!! I've been wearing my readers for about 3 years and I do see a difference. If I have them on the screen is more yellow. If they are NOT on, the screen is white. 

    Readers are super cheap and they make them with no + at all I think; just clear plastic but with screen protection. Worth it!! Amazon has a box of 6 for $13.00 and with Prime, that's free delivery. I think the box I bought 3 years ago still has 2 sets unused. They last a long time; a really long time. I guess hearing the words "cataracts" and the fact that they added an Rx that was greater than my readers just sort of caught me off guard. I'm really old now. I was happy that I still have 20/20 vision with the corrections. I mean, I could have 20/20 without them if I squinted really hard and pulled the card away far enough. LOL.  I read all the time, so it's best to have really good eyes to do that. I love my Kindle because I can control the size of the font and even the style actually, but I can see where reading a book would be good too, and the glasses will allow me to do that.

    There you go. The woman is falling apart at 61. One of the assistants takes your heart rate and does a little mini-physical when you go in to get your eyes checked because a family history of hypertension, Diabetes, or Glaucoma can also be a big deal when you're being examined for glasses.  My mom's side of the family has ZERO issues other than weight, and my dad's is 50/50 on illnesses. It could happen. I'm in good shape (or my age, dammit). Believe it or not, hypertension and/or blood pressure actually affects your eyesight. It's not just about the beta carnitine you know. You really do have to keep the rest of your body in shape if you want your sight to be at its optimal (pun) best.  My blood pressure was 122/79 and my standing heart rate was 90.  I don't know what it means, but my eye pressure was 11 and he said that was good. I have no idea. I really don't. I just said, "Thank you".

    Laura and I were picking out my new frames and I am really not the best person for this particular job. I have NO style whatsoever, I just knew I didn't want the standard black rims and she picked those first. LOL.  She's obviously not the best one for the job either. I pulled out my other pair with the frames I love and gave them to her. I told her to find something similar. She and the sales agent at the office were able to come up with about three to choose from, and I just let her pick. I really hate looking at myself in the mirror anyway, but to do so while finding glasses is not fun for me. It's more of a chore than trying on clothes. I don't really do that either, which just drives my best friend crazy. I just order clothes online. If they fit I keep them. If they don't I send them back. That's me.

    Well, that's my glasses' story.  I'll pick them up around the end of December and have a final fitting. By final fitting they mean they ask you to put them on your face for the last time that they see you before you leave their office for another two years. I do have to go back next year for the follow-up for my big fat nasty ugly (in reality tiny minute and barely noticeable) cataracts!! Maybe I'll become more reasonable by that time, but I certainly wouldn't hold my breath for that one. Ha! I can almost just tell you now that I'll go down fighting before I accept age as a reason for decline. 

Photo Credit: Zenni.com

Petty People Suck. That is All.

 I won't give you full details, it's not necessary. Every one of us has (if we're older than 15) worked for or with people who can be insanely petty over issues that matter nothing! Things that should not be a problem become a problem for these people, and I have to chalk it up to both inexperience and immaturity. It doesn't matter if the person(s) are adults, there just seems to be a lack of cognitive thinking going on inside the heads of so many coworkers that you just really wish you could say exactly what you want to say without being canned for your honesty.  This is the fate my good friend from church is having at the moment.  Let me explain.

    My friend, we'll call her "Sue", works for a company whose reputation is fantastic! This company has a Fortune 500 rating, it's up there with the big dogs. She is in the back off working with others who, like her, are support staff for those who make the wheels turn. The deals are made and Sue is one of the ribs on that brilliant chest and structure that creates all the flesh that goes on the bones to make the whole thing look really great. You know what I mean, right? She's a worker bee. She's not a peon, she's not upper management. She pushes paper, enters data, checks data, verifies, and she really loves her job. What she doesn't love is the fact that there are at least three others in the office who for no reason either pick on her for her lack of experience, or try to catch her when she's either potentially made a mistake or needs help. They'll say something out loud like "You can't delete that p.o.? I showed you how at least twice."  Or they'll ask "did you correct that entry I sent you earlier?"  When she says she didn't receive any email or correspondence asking for a revision, she's met with "Yes, I sent it, you must have deleted it." Well, she tells me she went to her deleted emails and there was nothing there. It seems to me these co-workers, all of which are WAY younger than Sue, only want to stir up a bit of trouble since Sue has more experience in the industry, has an education, and knows several of the clients personally.  Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned that but the fact that she is so valuable to the company should be celebrated, not deliberately degraded for her expertise. 

    Sure, these younger workers are faster with tech, they know more about programs that older employees used but haven't needed to keep up with upgrades necessarily. Most older folks, myself included, would love to be trained or retrained to use the new bells and whistles. We shouldn't have to feel inferior to anyone, just train properly when a new employee comes on board, and if they need more help, give it. Wouldn't they want to be treated with respect? I'm sure they would.  Sue called me after work today and told me that she's just about had it with "the kids on the playground" and I knew what she meant.  One asked her if she had put the paper into the copier the wrong way AGAIN? She had never put the paper in the copier, to begin with; it was a ploy to say AGAIN out loud to make her look like she didn't know what she was doing. Another refused to answer when she was directly asked about a deadline; saying she wasn't Sue's trainer or her mentor, and that she really didn't want to get involved with her work "just in case" it was faulty. Hey, hello! You work on the same damn team! Stop being a brat!

    I asked Sue if she was aware of any salary differences; maybe the younger ones are upset because Sue comes in as a valued employee who has been in the industry before and has licenses to boot. She has a five-star education and has worked in London, Chicago, New York, and Dallas in the industry. She owned an accounting firm for years. She just wants to work now, and not be in charge. Is that OK or does she need to get their permission? She's going to start a job making more than the "less aged" do or did, it only makes sense that maybe they are upset thinking that if she's being paid more she should already KNOW the job! No, that's not how it works folks. No one comes in knowing the job. Training can take months and even years depending on the details that have to be met, and in that industry, there are a lot of moving parts. Accuracy is more important than speed. The kids have speed. No doubt about it, but the bigger mistakes can be pinned on those who are impatient and not those who work steady-eddy, trying to get the boxes checked and the numbers verified. Again, it's a team thing, there's no room for the petty silly games that some people play.

    I asked Sue if she had taken the issue to HR yet; as HR has an obligation to protect her from any professional or workplace bullying.  Age discrimination could play a role, but it's probably more than that.  I hate using the word "bully", but it is what it is. When they gang up on you, talk about you behind your back, lie about you, and make others feel uncomfortable around you, that's bullying. Sue hadn't spoken to HR yet but says that if it becomes an issue this week she'll do so.  I don't blame her. You need to cut the head off that snake; the only problem is that it's much easier sometimes for a corporation to replace a newbie who hasn't been fully trained than to release someone who has the routines down for the most part. Still, trained or not, if others are being bullied, the bully needs to face the music! I'm not saying someone needs to be terminated, but an open line of communication needs to be directed by HR if the immediate supervisor hasn't been able to fix it. I am all about the chain of command; I hope Sue has confidence in her supervisor and can express her concerns without fear of retaliation. It's a tricky balancing act.  On one hand, you want to say "be a bit thicker-skinned" and on the other hand, you should never be made to feel unworthy by those who share the same space as you. 

    I know in my own personal life, I've been lied about by those who I was working with when they found out I made more money than they did. I never said it, but you know they have friends in payroll, or they snuck a peek at an email that was on my desktop. You can't always hide the facts from those who know tech fairly well. I've even had them go into my computer, delete emails and ask me later if I received one. When I check, I say no, but then it was proven through forensics that someone deleted them from my workspace when I was at lunch! C'mon people! STOP the madness. We're not on this Earth long enough to be so gosh darned immature to one another.  The person I'm talking about is 23 and I was 57 I think. I was the same age as her mom and she hated her mom. She took to lying about me in ways she wanted to lie about her mom to the point that other coworkers asked me (finally) why I said this or that. I HAD NOT!  The thing is, you (the person being lied about) have NO IDEA what has happened and maybe they never will know, and that's just WRONG!  So many levels wrong.

    It's hard to be 100% honest these days at work or anywhere else because you run the risk of offending someone. Everyone is offended so easily, but isn't it offensive to find out that someone is telling mistruths and half-truths about you and then others feel they can't trust you with their personal information? One of Sue's coworkers, an older lady, told her today to not become friends with anyone at the office but to do her work and go home. Wow. Isn't that a sad case too? To think that you can't befriend coworkers who you spend hours and hours with every day? Times are changing, but they are not changing for the good.  I know I've complained to my daughters in the past, that it seems younger coworkers don't come in and say "Good morning" to anyone. They slip quietly into their desks with their headphones in their ears and almost dare you to say something to them. It's not a good vibe. The older people, on the other hand, spend a few minutes catching up on a Monday morning to see how everyone's weekend was, and they offer a few of their own experiences. Tell me that's not the way it should be! We should ENJOY going to work, not feel that we are being slighted or separated. We should embrace our team or make one!

    Well, that's enough I suppose. I'll wait to see how Sue is treated tomorrow before giving her any more advice. I think maybe speaking to the supervisor first is best, but if she can't get the bud nipped she has a grievance to file with HR if it continues. Why should a good hard and valued worker be subjected to immature nastiness from people who, though they know their job, have no idea what commemoratory means? Be kind, people. 

Photo Credit: Indiatimes.com

Bo'ness. It May be Bo'ness.

 First, I still haven't made up my mind if I'll be moving permanently to Scotland or not. I think I will. I want to. It's just that there are so many things to consider, the least of which is not that in 2024 the UK may be "experimenting" with what they will call Climate Adjustments or lockdowns. It's more of a lock-in rather because they are considering regionally dividing areas and allowing folks to only drive within that region to spare the unnecessary climate monsters to destroy other parts of the country. This means you'll need permission to go to work if you work in another district, or of course, you could ride THEIR rail and THEIR buses, be under their control, yada-yada. This doesn't set well with me, and I really really hope Scotland will vote for independence next time they are given the chance. I would say that's just my opinion, but it isn't just mine.

    So, if I do decide to do it, and if I do make the move, I have been thrashing the ideas around in my tiny pinball brain as to where it will be that I will settle. Could it be Bo'ness in West Lothian? Could be.  Bo'ness of course is not really named Bo'ness, it's sort of a nickname or shortened name for what it was originally called, which is Borrowstounness. Really? I rather like the longer name better.  Before it was called Borrowstounness it was referred to by its Old English name "Beornweard's farmstead". Stranger still, but again, I like it. I suppose it became easier to say Bo'ness and that's what it is called today. It is an area west of Edinburgh, East of Falkirk, situated on the Firth of Forth and if you know me, you know I love saying Firth of Forth. I really love saying that. (giggles)

    Bo'ness was known for its mining, shipping, and porting, and it really is an amazingly simple and quiet area. It seems to be somewhat cut off from the hubbub that is strict city life, but it's not in the country, having several old kirks (churches) with attached cemeteries to keep me busy if I do go. I love sitting beside gravestones and talking to their hosts as if they are still alive and able to hear me. I don't expect any of them to actually respond, but I do like to think about their lives, their goals, their accomplishments, sorrows, and eventually who they became before their lives ended. I am forever seeking great graves when I find them in genuinely old kirkyards around the country, no matter where I visit. They are both interesting and informative if you pay attention. Sometimes the only things we know about a person are written on their stone.

    Bo'ness, or Borrowstounness, has a varied and exciting history, and it is the city where you'll find a few really cool museums too. The Museum of Scottish Railways is there, and a museum for famous motorcars and bikes from several movies is there. There are at least two castles that I know of, and maybe a few larger manor houses as well, so many gardens, and even a bowling club, which by the way takes place outside on a flat lawn, not indoors with lanes and loud arcades to drown out the smashing of the pins. Nope, their bowling is much more relaxed, quiet, and not as rowdy as ours.  It's far more social.  I mean, you could probably stop the game, have a spot of tea, resume the play, and continue your conversation as you pitch the ball ever so precisely toward the targets. I imagine you can, I haven't played the game, but I think I'll join a club if and when I do move. It sounds like too much restrictive fun to pass up!

    One of the apartments I'm looking at in the area is right downtown. It's literally on their high or main street, and the views are incredible. I live in Oklahoma, and the cost of living seems to be really close to what I am used to paying and dealing with now. The two-bed one-bath apartment (flat) I'm looking at will cost me $800 or L651 Sterling pounds.  If I were to buy it, it is for sale for $159,000 or L129,575 Sterling.  It's about 800 square feet, has ten-foot ceilings, new amenities, and where it doesn't have a balcony or patio I can set the dog out on, it is close enough to a park area where I can walk said dog -- there will be a dog. I will not live without one. The houses and flats where I'm looking are well within walking distance of parks, seacoasts, greenways, and the required shopping for my personal treks to buy groceries. I don't want to have to the bus if I don't have to. I prefer walking if I can.

    The nearest train station is about 2.5 miles from me, and it will need to be accessed by taking a bus or taxi probably. The train from Linlithgow to Edinburgh City Centre costs about $10 each way, and it takes roughly 24-28 minutes so that's not a problem. I think if I'm honest, I'll head into E.C.C. two or three times a week, so buying a regular monthly pass would be the best route to go most likely.  I'm OK with that because I won't actually have a car. I'm paying over $500 a month now to own my car and keep it covered with full coverage insurance. Paying $100-150 a month in transportation is a break! One I really look forward to.  I know I can't go everywhere I want to when I want to, and that's a bummer, but I can hope that Bo'ness will accommodate. Who knows, if they have a pet store and can get crickets I'll even have a couple of lizards!

    Like any other city or township in Scotland, Bo'ness has its fair share of crime, idiots, naysayers, and punks. No place in the world is completely safe from that, but I will say that the police presence seemed really well represented there, and the streets and ways were always very clean and clear of anything that would seem harmful or distasteful to a visitor; much less for someone interested in moving there and making it a permanent household.  I like the area a great deal. I know I go on about Sterling and Fife, I do. I love them so much, and it's hard to pick just one place when you do love them all, but Bo'ness could be sort of a middle ground to Stirling and Edinburgh. It's a bit of a distance to Fife in one way, but if you go just a bit west and up the side of the Forth you end up on the west side of Dumferline and that's a plus! There's a point in the Forth that you can jump over it, every good thing must come to an end, and the Firth of Forth does that as you go further west. I should swim the shortest distance and then brag that I crossed it. (giggles)

    Boating, sailing, fishing, castles, bowling, walking, gardens, shooting (ranges), parades, music festivals, bird-watching groups, and museums are enough to keep me busy. I think it's a good and real possibility. If you look up the area on the SIMD (Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation 2020) you'll see that most of Bo'ness has a higher-than-average ranking and rating than most other places I fell in love with. The only real negative point, if you can call it that, is the geographic location and how far it may be from public transport. I mean, I could, if I had to, get a car, but I think I could manage without one. There are several taxis in the area, buses, and there's always the remote chance I may ride a bike. Could happen. Probably won't happen, but it could happen.

    If you have very little do to someday and want to see pretty pictures of a quaint and adorable city/township in Scotland's lowlands, you can Google the city of Bo'ness and say "oohhhh" and "awwww" several times. I like it. You may too.

The Firth of Fourth (west end)Photo Credit: Wikipedia
Downtown Bo'ness
Photo Credit: Pinterest

    

Blackness Castle

    Photo Credit: Pinterest

Muscles and Madness!

 OK, let's just say it and get it over with. I don't like looking at those skinny guys. I don't like pretty guys either. I don't hate them, no, I just think if I'm going to end up with someone he should be bigger than me. That's a bit selfish, and maybe I should repent for it. I'm human.  I'm sort of a fan of the bigger, brawny type that has both confidence in himself and in his walk with Christ. Oh, wait, did she go there? What? I thought it was all about the body, the physique! I thought a woman wanted a REAL man!! C'mon guys, if you're into pumping iron to the point that your brain falls out of your head when the real important conversations come up, then yeah, no.  Stay at the gym, I'll find something else to keep me occupied. I'd rather read than be bored having to listen to gym talk, or maybe you want to explain to me again how great you look in that blue suit. Bye! (I really don't mind being by myself, I like the company.)

    Men are funny, aren't they? Women are too, we just usually don't have to be all muscled up to make a point. We know that curves are good, and brains are better. Men don't always agree with me; maybe that's why I'm still single. Could be that, or it could be that I don't put up with crap. I don't allow lies. I don't put on airs about myself and I don't want him to either. If you have a body that simply won't cooperate, that's how God made you. Try being happy in it rather than pushing yourself to someone else's limits. Be who you are! You're the only one you'll ever be, and no level of masculinity is going to change that. You don't need to pump up your arms past your personal comfort zone, and you don't need to listen to internet "sensations" who have bots following them making them look important enough to fill your head full of junk. You already know what you need; at least at your age you should! Did that guru tell you to be you? OK then, dump him.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to be fit. Yes, be fit. Be healthy, but be reasonable. Genetics are real.

    It's probably just me, but I find guys so much more attractive if they have ideas that they came up with on their own, or maybe they found an interest and they set out to flesh it out, and find out more about it. I am not the type to ask a guy to hang out with me 24/7 so he doesn't have time for his friends, his family, his hobbies, or his work. C'mon, again with the c'mon, look at me...just be you. Do you. If she's the one she'll be the one. If she's not the one and you're hoping to get one, then move on. Neither of you needs the hassle. It's OK to have a million friends. It's NOT OK to share yourself with millions to find the one. That would probably put the one off to the point of no return. Be careful with what you give away. You can't get it back.

    There's a site on Instagram about giving men their daily dosage of masculinity. Yeah, OK, that sounds both disgusting and unnecessary. It's the same with women, and it makes me sick. I'm not going to care about or think about what Kim is doing in order to feel more like a woman. My butt doesn't need to look like hers. It's mine! My lips don't need to puff to be pretty. I'm not putting mascara on for anyone, not for me, not for you, not for anyone. If what I'm doing can't be done without dolling up and being something I'm not, it's not getting done by me! So yeah, that's me. Maybe you need that boost. I don't know. I think you're pretty good the way you are; but yeah, you know, tone, stay up with the exercise, the diet, keep the sleep hours going, drink your water, eat your veggies. We don't know when the day will come when someone else needs to feed us, do we? What we do know is that we are enough! We always were.

    Muscles are great. Get them if you want them. Work out, get fit, and be the toned-up good-looking creature you were destined to be. I hope you do it with yourself in mind and not with someone else. Getting all gussied up for someone now and again is sweet, but when they start to expect it or worse, demand it, yeah, it's time to cut bait. Be true to yourself; you can't be great for someone else if you don't first do it for yourself. It's cliche, but it's true. If you think you can achieve THAT toned and sculptured body without using additives that will harm you you've been lied to, and it may be YOU that's doing the lying. Be smart. Being a man is not being a marble statue. Being a man is not being tough and acting like everyone should part the sea so you can walk through on dry land. Being a man is being humble. No really, prove me wrong.

    The best man that ever, and I mean EVER walked on the Earth, also walked on water, and get this, He did it because He could. Talk about power! Nowhere in the Word does it say that Jesus hit the gym every day, that He drank a bunch of protein shakes, took the right steroids, and gave everyone He came across the man-nod, as he pulled at the sleeves of his leather coat, giving the ladies a glance and a smirk. That's not cool. Cool is washing the feet of a beggar who had no shoes. Cool is finding time to talk to a lady drawing water from a city well that she had to go to at night to avoid the gossip and the staring eyes. Cool is looking your best friend in the eye and surrendering your mother to his care while you are nailed to a wooden beam after being slashed over 100 times with a barbed whip. Was it masculine when Jesus fell under the weight of the cross?  Choose you this day who you will serve....the body of a man, or the Savior of the soul? That's cool. Too cool for words.

    When all is said and done, this world is going away. These shells we crave to change will disappear in an instant! We'll be raptured or we'll be dead. There are times when we will be able to look back and point to how pretty we were and how great we felt, sure, but we should spend what little time we have left making those choices when the truth of the matter is, the flowers fade, the grass withers, the rain falls on both the good and the evil. Does it really matter what some woman thinks about you? Does it really matter what some guy thinks about you? No. No, not really - - the real test of your worthiness is not found in the sweaty gyms; but in the prayer closets. Don't let the liars keep your attention. You know more than they do.  No one is saying you should be alone, and no one is saying you should have to stay single but if you go off and find another partner who tears away who you are to satisfy what they need - - you're better off alone. It's hard, yeah, but wait on God to find the ONE. He knows what you want, and He also knows what you need. Besides, if you're like me, and most of you are, you pretty much screwed the pooch every time you tried to pick the ONE for yourself. Leave that to the Expert.

You're good. You were then too; you just didn't know it. You are good now. I hope you find this to be true. 

Photo Credit: hediedformygrins.blogspot.com

What Does That Even Mean?

 You can't please everyone. I don't know why we even try. We think maybe, that we'll be able to make people happier, make them smile a little, then when you present your opinion on a matter you find out who they really are. This is a good thing really, it gives you an opportunity to decide who you need to keep in your life, and who you need to let go.  Negativity is never something you should embrace. Cut it out! It may hurt for a minute, but let it go. You'll thank yourself later. I know I did.

    The other day I was cruising through Facebook and found another challenge that people post so others will learn more about the author's personality, their likes or dislikes, and maybe even something about their past that may be relatable. This was a post written and submitted by an author whose books are not necessarily to my liking. I think it's fair to say we all have our own preferences and that too is fine. We need to have that. We don't need to all read the same things, nor to write the same way. It's a good thing.

    The challenge asked the readers to find a photo or two of a fashion, or some sort of clothing article(s) that would adequately describe who they were. The challenge went on to say it shouldn't necessarily be something you would wear in public, but something that if people saw it, and they knew you, they could say "that reminds me of so-and-so, he/she embodies that!"  It sounds harder than it was. I immediately knew where to go to find something that reminded me of who I am. It took me all of three minutes to locate a few photos online. I copied them, and as I posted them I gave the photographer credit. I will say that more than 400 posts were posted and there were about six of us who gave credit!! C'mon people! If you didn't take the shot, don't claim you did by not revealing the photographer! That's another matter entirely.

    So, I posted my photo and several people "liked" it straight away.  I was, however, bowled over when I saw the comment of one individual who said "aren't you older? Why are you claiming that's who you are. Shouldn't you show something more mature?"  Do the words "F*ck you" come to mind? They did for me. I wasn't even nice about it.  I fired back something to the tune of "I noticed you shared a boy in a black hoodie. How dull. I hope you find yourself soon."  Maybe I shouldn't have been so abrupt, but that too is a part of who I am. I defend myself with words and had the man been standing in front of me and said that to me I may have defended myself with my fist...with one finger standing straight up in the air. I wouldn't have hit him. Violence isn't a good thing...usually. 

    What did I focus on then? The other comments.  I let the anger and upset feelings be acknowledged so I could dismiss them properly.  The people who think you should "act your age" or "be age appropriate" with style are people who have neither style nor any concept of what was taking place in the 60s and 70s I suppose. We were living freely, lively, colorfully, and artsy, and for the most part, there wasn't any real danger or gruesome crime! We were happy people with great music and cool cars. Yeah, I posted the photo that I have posted here so you can see exactly who I am, and what you'll be dealing with if you see me. I would wear that outfit, thank you very much! I'll wear whatever the hell I please, and you can bet your last hard-earned dollar (or Sterling Pound) that I'll do it with flare to boot!

    Speaking of boots, I've been told I have too many. What does that mean? Is there some legal limit to how many pairs of shoes or boots a person can own? I counted. It's 17 pairs of boots and 22 pairs of shoes including trainers or sneakers. I'm a girl, OK? Sue me! I counted my cowboy boots, I counted my mucking boots, my riding boots, and of course my combatish boots...the ones I'll end up using to kick someone in the ass if they need it. Let me show you what acting my age will get you. We kicked people in the day! We also like to remind folks that we're still around after being subjected to playing in creeks, eating tadpoles, swinging into lakes, fishing with our hands, drinking from the hose, and riding in cars without seatbelts while dad smoked his cigarettes! We didn't have AC in our cars. We didn't have grass under our playground equipment; nope. We fell onto the pavement and skinned ourselves pretty good! Did we cry? I don't think so. We couldn't let the boys see us cry!

    Tell me again how frail you think my generation is and you'll catch the end of it for sure. That is unless I'm too busy laughing about what you think is cool and what really is. Punks.  You can't see me giggling, but I'm giggling. Take the cell phones, tablets, and gadgets away from people less lucky to be born during a time when we had to communicate, and you'll see who survives. Give it time folks, every generation is made fun of by the next, and with each new group comes more addicts, more depression, anxiety, more suicides, more crime, and more out-of-control maniac mental behavior.  I think we knew better because we still prayed openly, and we extended a hand to someone who really needed it.

    What does it mean to be age appropriate when describing yourself? Well, I guess it means you have to be honest, open, inflective, and careful to be true to who you are, not allowing the Killjoys out there to stain your experiences. Be YOU. That's the only thing you can be, and damn, if you're a boy in a black hoodie without a face, without a direction, I don't want to read your book buddy. Just sayin'.  Why be a beetle when you can be a butterfly? DREAM PEOPLE!! 

Photo Credit: Etsy

Still Rambling.

Let's ramble about me and God for a minute.  I was born dead; that's really not where it began. I actually have remembrances, thoughts, visions, and ideas that took place in my mind and in my heart of things that occurred before I was born.  There are people who will utterly disagree with me, but those are only people who have never experienced it.  Those who do know what I'm talking about seem to smile quietly when I talk about my thoughts and remember gently the moments I cherish from before I was here; they remember too. It's just when you say it out loud and people haven't experienced it, they assume I'm conjuring images.  Let them be dull.  I know the truth.  I was born dead, and I got better.

    God and I have been really very close for a very long time. I was really very young when I first saw an angel in the hospital room of St. Anthony's hospital, I was just under three years of age. Though I had been in and out of the hospital all of my life due to my frail body, I don't remember much of the sickness whatsoever. I remember the doctors, the nurses, and my daddy coming to see me. I know my mom did as well, but I don't remember that. I remember my uncle Marvin, my aunt Wilma, and I remember who I call Sam, my Guardian Angel. He was the quiet one. Everyone else was laughing, hugging me, holding me, kissing me, dancing with me, and feeding me. Sam watched.  I assume he reported back to God now and again, but mostly he just watched.  I got better.

    My parents were the type of parents who were always going to get up on a Sunday morning, eat, dress, and drive to church. I tell people I was born on a Wednesday and in church on Sunday, and that's true! It was and is a true fact.  My mom and dad took my little less than a-week-old self all wrapped up, into the 40th Street Baptist Church in Oklahoma City between Pennsylvania and Classen, on the Northwest side of OKC. We were living in Bethany, Oklahoma at the time, but just before I was born my parents lived with mom's parents for about a day, and then about a month after I came. I came early. I was due on December 19th and arrived on November 22, again, dead. Mom was told to give me a name; she had one picked out, but it was for a boy because I was showing all the signs of being one. No ultrasound you understand. It was 1961. I fooled them! GIRL!  My name was Judy Leigh. It's not Judy anymore. My daddy called me Jude, I changed it when I got old enough. 

    God and I talk all the time. I don't really ever say goodbye, but I do say "good night" and "good morning" because while He never sleeps, I do. He's the same every single day, and I get a kick out of asking Him how He's doing because I know the answer. He's the same.  THANK YOU, God, seriously, thank you! Can you imagine if God changed? Wow, we would be in so much trouble. No, He's never going to change. That's why when He says yes, it is yes, and when He says NO, it is NO. We get a lot of No's I realize, but there's a good reason. I'm in the middle of a "yes" and though I know it won't ever change because He doesn't change, it's hard to keep the understanding behind the word. "Yes" can be really difficult at times. I hope it gets better.

    About three years ago now, I was told, not asked, told, to pray for someone. I didn't know the man, and I still don't, but I know a lot about him. He's been on my mind, in my heart, in my prayers, and I can't stop doing what I was told to do. I wanted to stop. Oh, I wanted to stop about 100 times, but no, it can't happen. Yes is yes. No is no. I'm just going to have to face reality, and continue to dig into my past, and by past, I do mean from before I was born. The man was there too. He wasn't a man though. He was a boy. He was my friend. I know that now. I thought about it before. I wondered about it, and I questioned myself and my mind, but knowing is good. He was and is my friend. That's the reason God told me to pray for him. He trusts me. Even if he doesn't know that as a human now, he did, and he will again. God will take care of that, I was just told to pray. I don't do the hard stuff. 

    There are so many verses in the Bible, our guide to life, that instruct us to do what God calls us to do. He doesn't force us, but He can be persuasive; think Jonah. Think Jacob. Think Moses wandering. Think of the animals showing up all at the same time. Did you know that Noah had sisters and brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends, and not ONE OF THEM followed God; Noah's kin died. Noah was spared. Noah listened. He didn't have to. I guess what I'm saying is, I may be made fun of for what I am doing. I will be, and I have been cussed at, hurt by the one I pray for, I've been banned, I've been threatened. OK. I guess humans are what they are, but we weren't always human and we won't be later either - - I'm thinking I should do what I'm told and let the arrows fly. I have a Shield. I have a Shepherd too, He's a Good one. I'll be OK.

    I see the hurt and I know why I was called upon. Time hasn't been good to my friend. I'm rather stubborn if you want to know the truth about it. God knew I wouldn't stop if I told Him, yes, and He knew that times were going to be rocky, in fact really bad for the man, the boy; my friend.  We played together day in and day in again, as there was no night. It was too perfect. It isn't perfect now, far far from it.  Financially, mentally, emotionally, personally, health, you name it, he's been through a wringer or twelve. 

    My friend, the man, may not want it, but he's got the prayers being lifted for him, sort of like when Sam stood there watching. He didn't really do much more than watch, but I'm really sure he spoke to God on my behalf. He still does. I am older now, and more mature, and I thank God daily for Sam. I thank God daily for love. I thank God daily for life. I thank God daily for the call; He thought enough of me to give it to me. He didn't ask anyone else. To my knowledge, NO ONE else is praying for this man on a daily basis; just me. Come to think of it, I don't have anyone (no one I know of) human anyway, who prays for me every day.  That's really sort of cool. Sam must be because I'm still kicking! Jesus isn't finished with me yet. When He is, He'll let me know. 

    Life sucks sometimes. I know this. I don't have depression, anxiety, diabetes, PTSD, or any real mental or physical issues; my understanding of these things has been recent. I really wasn't all that compassionate about others with these issues until I began praying for my friend. He suffers from these and other issues that he's freely discussed in interviews and videos online. He's been through it; over and over again, and though he is still in the midst of these storms, he is not alone. He holds onto Jesus too! He's born again; when he goes to Heaven he'll be the same friend I had before I came here before we were separated by time and by space. It's hard to explain. Our minds are too limited. No one can explain the color hues you just have to experience them. A rose is a rose because it is a rose. No one can really explain it other than to go into a scientific breakdown, but God knew it would be what it is; His. 

    He tells the Heavens to rain, the Sun to shine, the Moon to pull, and the Earth to seed, reseed, grow, and reproduce. He tells the waters to wave, to hold still, to roar. He does that. All I  have to do is know it. I don't do the hard stuff. I just say yes when I'm called. I let Him do the miracles. He's really really good at it. When I found Jesus He was standing next to me; He was playing in the sand with me. He was the very breath I took in; how could I say no to someone who loves me enough to keep me who and what I am? No, I may not be appreciated for what I do by others, but really, I only have to please Jesus. His is the smile I seek; so I said yes....and I'm not ever going to say no. It gets so much better! He promises. I don't have to.  God can't lie. His yes really is yes.

Photo Credit: Huffingtonpost.com

In and/or On.

Such a difference really, and yet, so close to being the same thing in some ways. Let's think out loud for a minute or two (or twelve).  You can be in a house, on a house, in a car or on a car, in a box, with a fox - - wait, something else, isn't it? The words "in" and "on" are used over and over throughout the day and truly they are two completely different concepts yet they are the same in one way at least; in (there I go) Britain, if you live somewhere you are IN the street, not ON it. In America, the house is ON the street, not IN it. If the house were IN the street IN America, the house would be situated in such a way that you'd have to go around it.  In and on?  

    The disciples asked Jesus how to pray and in the prayer, not on it, He said (or at least in the English translation) "Our Father who aren't IN Heaven, Holy is Your name."  He also said to let "Thy will be done ON Earth, as it is IN Heaven." Again, I don't know the Hebrew or Greek for what Jesus told us, but in English, the translation is clearly saying that Heaven is a place you walk INTO not stand ON. I mean, we know there are roads that we'll stand on one day; but we'll also stand IN those roads and meet and greet friends.  We fall IN love, not on top of it, but with time we can be both IN time for something; usually saving something from certain peril, or we can be ON time too! Crazy.

    We're forever saying these two words and though we change them now and again for the other(s) we do still know what we mean most of the time when we say either in or on; no one has to explain it when we say we're in the middle of something, or onto something. It's just that they mean different things; the word "in" could mean that in order (did it again) for it to be real or meaningful, we'd have to be wrapped around with whatever "it" is so we're IN it. To be ON it, we just have to be standing on top of it. If we're standing under it, that's not the same thing, is it? Nope. In, or on, but never under, through, beside, next to, adjacent to - - I'm rambling.

    Jesus was in Heaven. He came to and on Earth. He walked among us, and later He died ON a cross, laid IN the ground, but then the real story began, didn't it? He got up! He didn't stay in the grave, He didn't stay gone. He is now both IN us through the Holy Spirit and ON our minds, or He should be!  The thing about Jesus is, you don't even have to be a follower of His and know that He is the most controversial man ever to be alive! You can't say His name without bringing joy to some and anger to others. If someone thinks they're an atheist they're lying.  They can claim to be agnostic, having no knowledge, but they can't claim He doesn't exist. Even Satan knows He is alive. Even those who worship others know Jesus is HERE in Spirit, and IN Heaven as we breathe; waiting for the "go" to return. That's when we Christians will be raptured, and meet Him IN the air, not ON the air, but IN the air on our way to Heaven. What a day.

    That's it really, I was just spitballing today, and the thought(s) occurred to me that I look up and see the moon at night IN the sky, not on the sky. Clouds are in the sky too, but we can't sit ON one, we can sit IN one, but yeah, we'll fall right through them. No substance there. The moon would at least hold us up for a while (not very long, it's a gravity thing. Gravity is more of an ON thing if you think about it.) Sometimes I let my mind wander and sometimes I let it wonder. My brain is IN my head, but the thoughts I have are ON my mind; where is my mind? Is it tangible? Do I go all DeCartes on you now, or should we discuss Hume, Reid, Locke, and others who both agree and dissent from DeCartes notion of we think, therefore we ARE, but that's not an answer to where is the mind? It has to have a physical place to hangout otherwise we couldn't be OUT of our minds, or IN the right mind! Ha!

    Some days are diamonds and some days are carbon; wait, that's the same thing! Huh? Oh well, it's something else to think about. Are all rocks the same age since God made them on the same day? Wow....mind blown.

 

Photo Credit: Laurimeyers.com

Kaleidoscope. (a poem)

 His grey eyes fixed on mine

Not understanding my heart

Not comprehending my reason

He asked, and I listened

"How can you love me?

How could you even?"

Words were there but lost

Between my gaze and soul

Words were not enough

"I'm broken, he said.

Completely without anything

I'm not who you think I am"

"You are broken," I answered

"Not like an umbrella 

One would cast away if so,

"You are broken like stained glass

Which after it is gathered

Becomes a Kaleidoscope"

- Jude Stringfellow  (December 8, 2022)

Photo Credit: Shutterbug.com