Susan Merrill's Blog, page 8

3 Reasons You Should Spy on Your Kids

We got in a pretty heated discussion during an iMOM meeting the other day. The topic: should you spy on your kids. One of our iMOM writers had written about three ways that she spied on her children. A couple of the younger people in the room thought it wasn’t right for a mom to snoop. I disagreed, and here’s why.

One of my children went through a very, very tough time in high school. I could tell this child was struggling but I had no idea to what extent until God dropped a gift right into m...

5 Kinds of Compliments Your Husband Needs

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” I think this is especially true in marriage. When you are knee deep in children and half of them have the throw-up bug and a toilet just overflowed, a good, honest compliment from the one who sees the dark, weary circles under your eyes will get you through the battle. A sincere, timely compliment can be a powerful difference maker for days.

It’s not easy, this crazy busy life. Encouragement can make it sweeter. We only h...

How Would Your Kids Answer: Who Would You Like to Have Dinner with Dead or Alive?

There is a message, in this video, for you and for me.

It made me cry. But not out of despair because this can be remedied in every family today. This is a simple parenting task that has a profound impact on our children. 

Watch and ponder: how would your kids answer this question?

 

Powerful connections are made at the dinner table. The crucial benefits that come from sitting down as a family, at the same time, eating the same meal, and connecting through conversation are undeniable.

I just...

5 Bad Behaviors Your Kids Must Conquer

Conquering bad behavior is not my favorite part of parenting but I learned that the sooner it was caught, the easier it was taught. In other words, when you observe bad behavior in your child, correct it quickly. If you allow the behavior to go on and on without correction you will have a harder time re-training your child.

Another thing I learned is that often times the same behavior will pop up again at a different stage of a child’s life. It seems that we humans have inherent weaknesses th...

3 Ways to Fight Mom Guilt

I hear it from moms everywhere I go, I’m just not a good mom. No matter how hard I try, I am not the mom I want to be. I messed up again, today.

I know how you feel. There were many days, especially when my children were toddlers and teens, that I felt like I had missed the mark. But as my children have gotten older — I’ve gained perspective. I have learned from hindsight and I want to impart an important truth–mom guilt has come to steal, kill, and destroy your joy.  

Fight it. Fight the mom...

Forgiveness: What It Is and What It Isn’t

“Here you go again…”

“Maybe if you didn’t always…”

“Let’s not forget it was you who…”

These are scripts of unforgiveness that inflamed many an otherwise common argument in my marriage.  The phrases were hot coals left smoldering from past unforgiveness. While small statements, they packed such heat that when thrust into an argument the fire invariably burned and wounded the relationship far more than the initial argument warranted.

There have been times Mark and I have hurt each other deeply...

What Not to Say to Your Husband During a Fight

Mark and I can definitely argue. He’s an attorney by trade, and I’m half Italian! When we argue with our husbands, there is a point at which we cross a line and toxic words push an argument to a fight.

We usually go to these statements as a defense mechanism. For example, you’re in the argument and you feel like you’re losing. You don’t want to lose so you resort to one of these statements. Or you’re just furious and you want to hurt your husband. So think about when it is that you use these...

8 Things Moms Should Do For Their Kids Every Day

When I traveled to Siberia to complete the adoption of two of my children, I met their biological mother. It was heartbreaking. She was very detached and her eyes were so vacant. My children were two of the five she had lost to the orphanage. She didn’t take care of them or protect them. For many reasons, she did not do even the most basic things a mother should for her children.

When I saw how her actions, or lack of actions, had affected my children, my heart ached for them and for her. Wha...

Where in the World Did I Put My Soulmate?

A better question is what in the world is a soulmate? Maybe you can’t tell it, but I am so annoyed with this fictional excuse to leave your spouse! Somehow, using the word “soul” provides an excuse for some people to do whatever they want—justifying their decision as if it were for some higher purpose. “I found my soulmate.” Spoken as if there can be no argument with their conclusion because it is mystical or spiritual.

I will be very honest with you. I have five children. The fact is that I...

Science Confirms the Best Way to Love Your Child

Science confirms what God established when he created us: physical touch is life-giving. The best way to love your child is to touch them–hold them when they are young, hug them when they are too big to hold.

From inception, a baby is held, in the womb and then in the arms of a mother or father. They are constantly touched. In the hearts of parents from birth we want to cradle and kiss our baby. This is instinctive and it is imperative for the growth and development of a baby. But what about...