Srikumar Rao's Blog, page 29

How Can You Deal With Difficult Situations & Keep Your Peace of Mind?

Can you imagine what life would be like if we automatically saw the opportunity presented in challenging and difficult experiences? As humans, our default programming leads us instead to focus on things – often beyond our control – that don’t serve us.

How can we evolve our patterns so that we see new possibilities in what may otherwise be perceived as chaos? 

In this 60-Second Wisdom series, learn a simple practice you can take today to develop resilience in the face of difficult situations so that you can maintain your inner peace, no matter what comes your way.

Did you enjoy this video? If so, please subscribe on YouTube and leave a comment.

Wishing you a beautiful day,

Srikumar

The post How Can You Deal With Difficult Situations & Keep Your Peace of Mind? appeared first on The Rao Institute.

How To Silence Your Inner Critic & Tame Your Mental Chatter?

 

Is your inner critic getting the best of you and sapping your joy? Is your mental chatter running wild in your mind and preventing you from living your best life? A life of inner peace and contentment?

How do you take back control so that you are back in the driver’s seat and your mental chatter takes a backseat?  

In this video, learn how to manage your mental chatter so that you can infuse your life with the energy and positive energy you need most to manifest your dreams.

If you enjoy this video, please let me know by subscribing on YouTube and commenting below.

Wishing you a wonderful day,

Srikumar Rao

The post How To Silence Your Inner Critic & Tame Your Mental Chatter? appeared first on The Rao Institute.

What is Real Gratitude? (and how can you best experience its benefits?)

Did you know? Practicing gratitude has science-backed proven benefits, including better physical health, psychological health, self-esteem and better sleep.

If you have not yet started a consistent gratitude practice, today is the best day to begin.

The question is: how can you best experience the benefits of a consistent gratitude practice? The answer comes down to what you focus on and *how* you practice gratitude. 

In this video, learn how to get into a relationship with the most powerful force in the universe.

Wishing you a wonderful day,

Srikumar Rao

The post What is Real Gratitude? (and how can you best experience its benefits?) appeared first on The Rao Institute.

How Do You Let Go of Anger & Unpleasant Experiences?

 

 

There is so much emotional pain in the world. Too much to hold onto it all the time. So why do we do that? The answer is to let it go.

Easy to say, hard to do. Or is it?

Like this quick tip? Let us know in the comments and be sure to subscribe for more tips to help you live your best life.

Wishing you a beautiful day!

The post How Do You Let Go of Anger & Unpleasant Experiences? appeared first on The Rao Institute.

How to Have a Terrific Day Every Day – Guaranteed.

How would you like to have a fantastic day, every day?

Of course you would.

But already the skeptical wheels are turning in your head because you know this is impossible. And you will read on because, while you know that every day cannot possibly be fantastic, maybe you will learn something that will make some days fantastic.

I was serious. Every day can be unbelievable if you can let go of a foolish belief that you have.

Let me explain.

I meet lots of people and talk to many more over the phone or Skype or Zoom.

I ask them how they are and get responses like ‘hanging in there’ and ‘can’t complain’ and ‘well, thank you’ and ‘okay.’

A rare few say ‘super’ or ‘fantastic’. More say ‘terrible’ or ‘could be better.’

I am now being deadly serious.

I will show you how you can have a terrific day, every day.

This is simple and you will understand how simple it is when I explain it.

It can also be ridiculously easy or fiendishly difficult depending on how open you are to accepting new ideas and implementing them in your life.

And, if you find that what I share with you today is useful, reply to this email to let me know.

Here is what you have to do to have a superlative day – today and every day.

When you wake up in the morning take a conscious, mindful decision that you are going to have a fantastic day.

Don’t laugh.

This really works.

The problem that most persons have is that they confuse having a terrific day with TWO things that have nothing to do with it.

But they never examine their beliefs about this and so get stuck in that erroneous thinking and they have terrible days as a result.

What is this erroneous thinking?

I will bet that you are also guilty of this.

You believe in two things. You believe that in order for you to have a terrific day:

Stuff that you want should happen;
And, stuff that you do not want, should not happen.

 

So you are all set to have a great day and your car does not start and when you finally get on the road somebody sideswipes you leaving a long scratch and a dent on your door and they do not stop so you do not get their license plate number and you are late for your meeting and the deal you were hoping to close has to be postponed and your prospect’s secretary does not book you another appointment because she or he says their boss is ‘thinking it over.’

So it is turning out to be a lousy day, right?

Only if you let it become lousy.

Lots of stuff happened. You would rather they did not happen. But they did.

Why compound the problem by releasing your intention of having a terrific day?

Think about it.

Feces will drop form the sky.

It always does. That is its nature.

When feces drops from the sky you have to put aside your plans and do some clean up work.

But that does NOT mean you cannot have a terrific day.

It simply means that there is some unexpected clean up that you have to put in your terrific day.

When unexpected, unwanted stuff happens, simply ask it, as if it were a person, “Am I going to let you steal my fantastic day away from me?”

If you can truly get into the habit of doing this, you will be surprised at how many of your days become marvelous.

And no.

This is not well meaning and impossible to heed pablum, unless you decide it is.

So try it now.

Peace!

If you liked this piece and intend to do what I suggest, let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

P.S.: Enrollment in my signature personal transformation experience, Creativity and Personal Mastery (CPM) is now open.

Many who have taken CPM say it has changed so many of their mental models that it has made them a new person.

And, of course, this new person naturally thinks differently.

This program is an in-person, highly personalized experience designed to help participants go deeper and receive greater support that is not usually available in an online format. To ensure the quality of this experience, therefore, the program is for a maximum of 25 participants.

This program is starting soon. Time is running out. If you are interested, please apply today. The real benefit is the change that happens within you that lets you experience life ever so differently and joyously.

And which helps you reach heights you never dreamed possible even as the sense of effort and strain leave you.

Apply here

I hope to see you in one of them.

The post How to Have a Terrific Day Every Day – Guaranteed. appeared first on The Rao Institute.

60-Second Wisdom: What Will They Think Of Me?

Do you worry what people will think of you? Do you care how you will be perceived if you: Share your Big Vision? Want to switch your career or go back to school? Desire to go against what society says you “should” do? Accept a public speaking opportunity in front of your colleagues at work or your local community group?
This post is for you.

 

As a professor and a high-end executive coach I frequently run into individuals who do not attempt things they feel inclined to because they feel embarrassed.

They are overly concerned about “What will they think of me?”

Susan was a good manager and well liked by both her bosses and the persons who reported to her.

Her team elected to stage a skit at the annual Company Day festivities.

It was uproariously funny and they wanted her to be part of it. Her character would suffer a fall and then recover to brilliantly crush the department bully with a verbal riposte.

Her boss and his boss would be there and they had never seen her except prim and properly dressed.

She was concerned about her image and declined.

Has something like this ever happened to you?

Have you turned down an unusual assignment or a lateral move that you would have liked to take but for the fear of “What will they think of me?”

Have you declined a public speaking opportunity or an invitation to join an improvisation group or hesitated to speak up at a meeting where you were the expert in the room for the same reason?

We all want others to think well of us.

And we all want to know what “they” think of us.

Well, I have good news for you.

I know exactly what they think of you.

And I will tell you right now.

The truth is – they don’t think of you at all. And they won’t suddenly start doing this either.

You go through life watching the movie of ‘your life’ and you think everyone is watching it as well.

But they are not.

They are busy watching the movie of ‘their life.’

And in that movie you have only a bit part if, indeed, you have any role at all.

Don’t take my word for it. Here is how you can check it out. Hundreds of my students have come to me ruefully to tell me that I was right.

Go back a few years and recollect some situation – business or personal – where you made a horrible gaffe. You did something so gauche that your face burned and you wished you could sink into the floor and pull it in after you.

Possibly your ears are still burning as you recall the incidence.

Now, visit or call up the persons who were present, gently broach the subject and ask for their recollection.

I will wager that most will not recall the event and those who do will think it of no significance.

And you have spent years being bothered by your emotions and your faulty recollections.

Your fear of being negatively appraised by others is keeping you from trying out stuff that your heart calls you to.

It is affecting your career choices. It is making you decide to stay in a job you hate rather than break off to start your own company. It is preventing you from trying to get to know that person you find really attractive.

Recognize that ‘What will they think of me?’ is a prison.

It is a prison that you have constructed and it does not really exist.

Because they are not thinking of you at all.

Peace!

P.S.: Enrollment in Dr. Rao’s signature personal transformation experience, Creativity and Personal Mastery (CPM) is now open.

Many who have taken CPM say it has changed so many of their mental models that it has made them a new person.

And, of course, this new person naturally thinks differently.

This program is an in-person, highly personalized experience designed to help participants go deeper and receive greater support that is not usually available in an online format. To ensure the quality of this experience, therefore, the program is for a maximum of 25 participants.

If you are interested, please apply today. The real benefit is the change that happens within you that lets you experience life ever so differently and joyously.

​​​​​​​And which helps you reach heights you never dreamed possible even as the sense of effort and strain leave you.

Apply here.

We hope to see you in one of them.

The post 60-Second Wisdom: What Will They Think Of Me? appeared first on The Rao Institute.

60-Second Wisdom: How To Experience More Joy In Life

Can one simple shift of perspective radically enhance your level of happiness? Is it even possible to enhance your sense of fulfillment and wellbeing so quickly?

 

In this 60-Second Wisdom series, Dr. Srikumar Rao shares a simple practice he has used to infuse more joy into his own life. May this practice create more joy in your life as well.

P.S.: Enrollment in Dr. Rao’s signature personal transformation experience, Creativity and Personal Mastery (CPM) is now open.

Many who have taken CPM say it has changed so many of their mental models that it has made them a new person.

And, of course, this new person naturally thinks differently.

This program is an in-person, highly personalized experience designed to help participants go deeper and receive greater support that is not usually available in an online format. To ensure the quality of this experience, therefore, the program is for a maximum of 25 participants.

If you are interested, please apply today. The real benefit is the change that happens within you that lets you experience life ever so differently and joyously.

​​​​​​​And which helps you reach heights you never dreamed possible even as the sense of effort and strain leave you.

Apply here.

We hope to see you in one of them.

The post 60-Second Wisdom: How To Experience More Joy In Life appeared first on The Rao Institute.

Why *Your intent* Matters Most (& Pays You Back In Spades)

In my last two blogs, I told you that the way to experience a quantum leap in your life is to think differently.

I would like to take you to a deeper level. Thinking differently will frequently lead you to act differently and contrarian actions sometimes lead to great material success.

But I am also concerned about the intent behind the actions. This is what truly determines whether you progress spiritually and find true meaning and purpose in what you do.

I explain below.

Your Intent is Key When You Begin to Think Differently!
Don’t be a sophisticated manipulator of people – be an authentic helper.

I would like you to prosper mightily. Certainly in material terms – money, power, fame, health etc. – but also spiritually.

I would like to you be radiantly alive as you move through your day and be filled with deep meaning and purpose. I describe such an ideal life in my manifesto. (Check out The Manifesto here.)

To get there you have to pay attention to what you think and do but also to why you do so.

Let me explain with an example.

One of my students, a top school MBA, worked at a prestigious consulting firm.

There were days when she disliked her job and even more days when she hated her job.

So she quit to start her own freelance consulting practice.

The fear set in right away.

Would she be able to get clients? Could she make a go of it? Would she be able to make enough to meet her expenses and, some day, replace the high income she had?

The first few months were hard. She did odd projects that were ‘beneath’ her but brought in some cash.

And then she came across a serious corporate prospect.

There was much back and forth but they finally agreed on a price and she sent in a proposal ready for signing.

She was nervous and anxious. This was make or break for her – in her mind – and would ensure financial security for at least an year.

She was literally dancing with joy when she met me later that week. “I got it,” she screamed waving the print out of the email she received.

I looked at it.

The prospect said that he would be delighted to work with her and suggested settling for a figure that was ten percent below what she quoted. He also wanted some additional stuff done and said that this was no big deal considering the size of the contract.

He wanted to begin immediately and asked to meet the following Monday.

I looked at her bubbling smile and asked how she felt.

“Fantastic,” she replied. She had been fully prepared to offer the lower figure as a concession if the prospect came back to negotiate. That it was now a done deal seemed incredible after days of worry and uncertainty.

I advised her to turn it down and email the client that she would have loved to work with him but could not accept his terms.

She looked at me as if I had suddenly sprouted horns and we talked about it at length.

And then she did as I suggested.

And the client came back for further talks.

Eventually they settled on the figure quoted in the proposal and he agreed to pay for the additional work he wanted.

“Professor Rao, you are brilliant,” she gushed. “This is a perfect example of using scarcity to create perceived value. I was just too scared to do it. Thanks so much for pushing me.”

There is a ton of research that shows people want what they cannot have. So if you dangle something attractive before someone and then ‘induce scarcity’ the person is much more likely to buy.

Mediocre marketers use lazy calls to action like ‘supplies are limited.’ Smarter ones use specific claims like ‘only two seats left’ or the ubiquitous ‘18 people are looking at this deal right now. 2 seats available.’

These tactics work. That’s why they are in such wide use.

Let’s dig deeper and go into intent.

Focusing on Your Intent Pays You Back In Spades

 

My student could have done what she did from the space of, “I think he is just negotiating. He cannot find anyone else to do this project in the time frame in which he needs it. So if I hold firm and make him think that he will ‘lose’ me, the scarcity effect will kick in and I will get my price. Let me go for it.”

This is legal and moral and ethical and makes her a smart businessperson. And many would be happy at the outcome and think no more about it.

Or my student could have done it from the space of, “I want to serve this client but I cannot give my best if he dictates the terms. If I agree to the lower price and his conditions, there will be other demands made and I will resent this and it will affect the quality of my work. Let me decline and make this clear to him. If I lose the project, then so be it. I only want to work with clients who understand what I stand for.”

This is also legal and moral and ethical and leaves her in a much better emotional domain.

Life is complex and these two viewpoints are not completely distinct.

They overlap.

And, as my student confessed, she was a mixture of both.

That’s OK.

What is important is that you recognize your intent. Be as close to #2 as you can be.

The actions are the same and, most likely, the outcomes will be better.

And you will feel a whole lot better about yourself and get closer to the life I describe in the manifesto for my program.

Peace!

Srikumar Rao

P.S.: Enrollment in my signature personal transformation experience, Creativity and Personal Mastery (CPM) is now open.

Many who have taken CPM say it has changed so many of their mental models that it has made them a new person.

And, of course, this new person naturally thinks differently.

This program is an in-person, highly personalized experience designed to help participants go deeper and receive greater support that is not usually available in an online format. To ensure the quality of this experience, therefore, the program is for a maximum of 25 participants.

If you are interested, please apply today. The real benefit is the change that happens within you that lets you experience life ever so differently and joyously.

​​​​​​​And which helps you reach heights you never dreamed possible even as the sense of effort and strain leave you.

Apply here.

I hope to see you in the program.

The post Why *Your intent* Matters Most (& Pays You Back In Spades) appeared first on The Rao Institute.

The Secret to Making a Quantum Jump in Your Life

Progress does not have to be slow and incremental. You can leapfrog several levels.

Many persons who apply for my programs or approach me for personal coaching feel stuck. They think they should be ahead of where they are and are frustrated at how slowly they are advancing.

It is possible for them to leapfrog several levels of accomplishment. And do it again. And again.

You can also do this. I will tell you how.

Stay with me to the end. I have a special offer for you.

Susan was steaming. She had been serving as the interim Chief Marketing Officer of a large electronics company and was on the committee searching for a permanent hire.

She had thrown her own hat in the ring and was the internal candidate. She had been with the company for five years, had received stellar reviews and thought that she was well liked.

She was highly qualified with a Bachelor’s in Science from Harvard and an MBA from Columbia Business School.

David was the final choice. He also had a science background and an MBA from Columbia. He graduated three years after her and was four years younger.

Everyone thought he was smart and an up and comer who would go places fast.

Susan agreed.

She just thought that so was she and she had more experience and was better.

Susan did not know why she had not coasted into the job as the best candidate. She was unsure whether her gender worked against her and this bothered her.

She was mad and was considering quitting.

Something like this has happened to you.

Or it will.

Someone younger and seemingly less qualified will zoom past you in some area that is important to you.

What should you do?

What can you do.

The answer comes at distinct levels.

First, it is extraordinarily dumb – and toxic – to measure yourself against someone else and let this determine your well-being.

This is so important that I will devote several columns to it in coming months.

Second, you can do stuff to jump ahead in your own career.

Let’s talk about this.

We believe that success comes from patient hard work and climbing the ladder of success step by step.

I disagree.

You can jump ahead to the next queue and then move to the head of the one after that.

You cannot achieve such spurts by working harder. In fact, working harder may actually set you back.

You cannot do it by working smarter. In these connected days everyone is privy to the same knowledge sources.

You cannot do it by managing your time better. This is a seductive notion but you will be dismayed at how much time you spend in your effort to manage that time.

The only way you can achieve such jumps in your life is by thinking differently.

By thinking radically differently.

This is not a new concept. Every one knows it at some level and you have been exposed to the idea many times in your life.

You have been told to ‘see the glass as half-full, not half empty’ and that ‘every problem is an opportunity in disguise’ and you know that ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going’.

But, despite this, the vast majority find it difficult to ‘think differently’.

Because….

You cannot think differently by trying to think differently.

The only way you can consistently think differently is by examining the mental models you hold that cause you to think differently, and making changes in them.

There will be small tweaks and major re-structuring but when you are done you will see the world differently.

What appears to others as radically different thinking seems natural to you.

Here is an example of what I mean:

I grew up in India in a middle class family.

My father was a government bureaucrat and my mother was a home-maker. We were not poor but there wasn’t a whole lot of discretionary cash lying around.

One evening we were walking close to an open air market in Karol Bagh, a section of Delhi, when I was approached by a vendor who was selling stuff from a wooden shelf strapped to his back.

I was taken by a book called Just Like Daddy.

It was blue and had pictures and it told a story of a boy who got up in the morning and brushed his teeth just like daddy and did other things like his father.

It was actually two books because if you flipped it around it turned pink and had a little girl who did things Just Like Mommy.

For some reason I cannot fathom now, I really, really, really wanted that book.

I put in a petition and my parents looked at it.

It had only a few words on each page and I was already reading junior classics, so my petition was denied.

We walked on.

The vendor followed behind. Every time I looked back he flashed the book at me.

He seemed to have a child-like faith in my ability to swing the deal and was eager for me to do so.

Perhaps his children’s dinner depended on my success.

My mother was a frugal lady who hardly ever bought anything for herself.

She saw a purse she liked and reached for it.

I saw my opportunity and dived into it like a trained seal.

With tears rolling down my cheeks I bawled loudly and asked how she could possibly buy something so utterly useless as a purse while there was this great educational material that they were denying me.

It was a low blow.

It worked.

Back went the purse and I got Just Like Daddy.

I was pleased as Punch and there was distinct coolness between my parents and me for a while.

I mention this story because, a couple of decades later, I saw Just Like Daddy in a flea market.

All the memories came flooding back.

But there was a difference.

I remembered clearly all that had happened but Just Like Daddy no longer had any hold on me.

I did not want it.

I did not ‘not want’ it.

It was irrelevant to my life.

I had outgrown my need for Just Like Daddy.

Look back on your life. You will recall something that, at that time, you desperately wanted.

You may have gotten it. Or you may not have gotten it.

It does not matter.

What matters is that you no longer have a need for it.

It is irrelevant to your life now. You have outgrown it.

Right now, in your life, there is something that you want a great deal. It is creating turmoil in your life because you do not have it.

Perhaps you want your bank to extend your credit line so you can expand your business.

Or your daughter to shape up and improve her grades.

Or your company to make the Best Place to Work List.

Or your in-laws to move to Australia.

There is something you want, and you don’t have it and it is causing angst to you.

Here is my question for you:

Would you rather get what you want?

Or

Would you rather outgrow your need for it as I outgrew my need for Just Like Daddy and you outgrew your need for countless things in the past?

Imagine you have vaulted to level so much higher than where you are that you no longer have the need for the experience you are seeking.

What would your life be like?

Think about it.

It is a good illustration of what I mean when I exhort you to think differently.

I will say more about this in future columns.

But here is an exercise you can do right away to get you started on thinking differently.

Pick anything going on in your life right now that is soaking up a lot of emotional energy.

Something that you see as a ‘bad thing’ or even a ‘very bad thing.’

Is there any scenario you can visualize by which this could turn out to be a ‘good thing’ in a few months or years?

And then ask yourself if there is anything that you can proactively do to make it a good thing?

Asking this question and taking such action moves you from the realm of despair to the realm of possibility.

And it makes you resilient. So resilient that others wonder how you do it.

One of my students was laid off from a large technology company that had a reputation for not firing its workers.

It was a major shock. His wife was a home-maker and he had four children.

The company did not want a reputational hit so he got a handsome severance package. He used it to start a business that prospered mightily and more than replaced his income within two years.

Do email me about how this worked out for you. I would like to know!

Peace!

Srikumar Rao

P.S.: Enrollment in my signature personal transformation experience, Creativity and Personal Mastery (CPM) is now open. Many who have taken CPM say it has changed so many of their mental models that it has made them a new person.

And, of course, this new person naturally thinks differently.

If you apply right away you get a discount of more than $1,000.00. This saving certainly helps but the real benefit is the change that happens within you that lets you experience life ever so differently and joyously.

And which helps you reach heights you never dreamed possible even as the sense of effort and strain leave you.

New York dates: March 15-17, April 12-14m May 24-26

London dates: May 10-12, June 14-16, July 26-28

Apply here

I hope to see you in one of them.

The post The Secret to Making a Quantum Jump in Your Life appeared first on The Rao Institute.

The Wisdom of Non-Attachment: A Smoked Glass Table and a Life Lesson

When I got married I was an executive but in my head I was a graduate student. So my dibs reflected that. I had little furniture and it was mismatched and shabby. And books were everywhere.

We moved to an apartment and needed a dining room set and I saw a picture of one with a smoked glass table and elegant chairs and I wanted it. I mean, REALLY wanted it. My wife would have been satisfied with any number of choices but I refused them all. Nothing but that smoked glass table for me.

We bought it. It was expensive and we scrimped elsewhere.

We moved from an apartment to a starter home and then added substantially to it to accommodate our growing family. The table came with us and was in the family room. There were many happy memories of us playing games on it, using it as a snack table during parties and so on.

My son became a serious model builder and it served as his work-table. He was really good. He won first or second prize in his age group at the International Plastic Modelers Convention in all three categories he entered – aircraft, ships and armored fighting vehicles. We have boxes of finely painted finished models and shelves of awards and plaques.

My son left home years ago and is now an attorney clerking for a justice in the Utah Supreme Court. My daughter left more than a decade ago. She is married and is running her own start-up. And we have a house full of memories and far too much stuff.

Last week, my wife dragged my unwilling self into a cleaning spree and we packed away my son’s model building gear and tools. The hood and exhaust fan went into storage.

And the smoked glass table which now had streaks of paint on the surface? We left it outside a day before the garbage pick up. It was gone the next morning along with the chairs. I hope that whoever took it makes equally happy memories.

And that brings me to the life lesson.

Whatever we gather and hoard and cherish is in time and space. And whatever is in time and space will wither and be stripped from us whether we like it or not.

Your baby’s first tooth in its own tiny silver casket, your college diploma that represents so much money and time and effort, your elegant clothes, your carefully preserved bottles of fine wine, your cherished mementoes and keepsakes – all stuff. Just stuff. And it will go one day.

Think about this. Really think about the impermanence of all things.

When this seeps into your consciousness, your relationship with the world of things changes. You still use them but you are not attached to them. They come and they go and that is fine and the way it should be.

And you experience a tiny reflection of the freedom that sages have known and extoll.

Begin today. Pick up any item that you have not used for a year or more. Does it still add value to your life? Or is it clutter that remains to complicate existence?

If you do not actively want it, get rid of it. Give it away to someone deserving and the joy of doing so is worth it many times over.

Peace!

p.s. A truly remarkable and wonderful company I work with is launching The Quest for Personal Mastery with me. It gives you a quick introduction to my work and many, many, many exercises that will immediately make a difference in your life.

For an introductory master class, go here.

To sign up for the Quest, go here.

The post The Wisdom of Non-Attachment: A Smoked Glass Table and a Life Lesson appeared first on The Rao Institute.