Cate Gardner's Blog, page 24
June 25, 2012
Drumroll, please...
...and the winner of my birthday competition is Robert Crosby. The paperback of Ice Picks will be winging its way to you shortly. Thank you to all who entered and RT'd on Twitter.
In other news, I'm working on two things at the moment. A short story that refuses to find its end (tattoos, fake love and the Devil) and a novel that seems to be hurtling towards its end thus making it a novella (here there be monsters). Hey, I heart novellas. Both will use as many words as they need to. I hope. We really don't want waffle, waffle, waffle nor a whirlwind that leaves the reader going 'huh!'. Not that I would ever do the latter. No, not me.
And in further news, well I have no further news.
Note to self: do something newsworthy
Extra note to self: newsworthy thing must be legal.
In other news, I'm working on two things at the moment. A short story that refuses to find its end (tattoos, fake love and the Devil) and a novel that seems to be hurtling towards its end thus making it a novella (here there be monsters). Hey, I heart novellas. Both will use as many words as they need to. I hope. We really don't want waffle, waffle, waffle nor a whirlwind that leaves the reader going 'huh!'. Not that I would ever do the latter. No, not me.
And in further news, well I have no further news.
Note to self: do something newsworthy
Extra note to self: newsworthy thing must be legal.
June 20, 2012
A Gift to You
It's my birthday today and I've received lots of lovely gifts and eaten cake and it's ham barmcakes for tea tonight instead of a meal because you should get to eat your favourite things on your birthday. Although, not all your favourite things such as Jensen Ackles and books. And come to think of it, why am I not having pancakes with lemon and sugar? Oh yeah, darn diet.Anyway, it's not fair that I get to receive all of the things today so I am giving away an anthology - Ice Picks, edited by S.S. Michaels. The anthology contains stories by me (The Menagerie of Frozen Birds), Jeremy Shipp, David Dunwoody, Damien Walters Grintalis, Stacey Graham, and others. And all the tales take place in an ice hotel.
To enter, email me at catephoenix@gmail.com and I'll choose a winner on Monday 25th June 2012.
Oh, and last Saturday after the Twisted Tales event, we were in the pub discussing how awesome Peter Tennant is and I may have shouted 'I heart Peter Tennant, his blog is hilarious'. And it's true, everyone should read his blog, especially today.
June 17, 2012
A Supernatural Twisted Tales
Another Twisted Tales event in my hometown yesterday, which of course meant I got to meet Simon Bestwick beforehand for a coffee...only I had water, but saying we met up for a water is just odd, but then we are odd. It was delightful to see Simon again.
This time the readings were by Graham Joyce, Alison Littlewood and Simon Kurt Unsworth. Excellent stories by excellent people. Attendance was a little down this time, maybe because the event was held on a Saturday rather than a Friday or maybe because the weather was atrocious. After the event, Simon B, Simon U, Alison, her partner Fergus, and myself headed off to the pub for a rather teetotal affair, before I took the Bestwick on a circumnavigated route around Liverpool to get to a train station that he probably could have gotten to quicker by himself, but then I got to steal him for a little bit longer. Muahaha.
Also got to meet Dan Howarth, one of the This is Horror team. Which reminds me (and please someone actually remind me on pay day) I need to subscribe to the This is Horror chapbook series. Forthcoming chapbooks are by Simon Bestwick & Gary McMahon, David Moody, Conrad Williams and Joseph D'Lacey.
You can read about other Twisted Tales events here, here and here - that's if you have nothing more productive to do today.
This time the readings were by Graham Joyce, Alison Littlewood and Simon Kurt Unsworth. Excellent stories by excellent people. Attendance was a little down this time, maybe because the event was held on a Saturday rather than a Friday or maybe because the weather was atrocious. After the event, Simon B, Simon U, Alison, her partner Fergus, and myself headed off to the pub for a rather teetotal affair, before I took the Bestwick on a circumnavigated route around Liverpool to get to a train station that he probably could have gotten to quicker by himself, but then I got to steal him for a little bit longer. Muahaha.
Also got to meet Dan Howarth, one of the This is Horror team. Which reminds me (and please someone actually remind me on pay day) I need to subscribe to the This is Horror chapbook series. Forthcoming chapbooks are by Simon Bestwick & Gary McMahon, David Moody, Conrad Williams and Joseph D'Lacey.
You can read about other Twisted Tales events here, here and here - that's if you have nothing more productive to do today.
June 10, 2012
There are Pixies Here
If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you may have heard me waffle on this week about getting into clothes that were the size below the size below. I was rather excited. Anyway, it's time to go back to work (well almost - tomorrow morning - someone send me lots of cash now so that I don't have to go) and I needed to iron some of those said clothes. This is where I discover the pixies are messing with my head because...
...one of the size below the size below clothes isn't the size below the size below, it is in fact the size below the size below the size below the size below. For those who just fell off their chairs counting - that is four sizes below my diet start weight. Actually, I'm confused now too.
I checked the cardboard tag, then I checked the label. Most definitely that size below times four. At this point, I'm convinced the top that I've already tried on three times can't possibly fit. So, I try it on again. Parade around the house wearing the t-shirt asking is anything wrong with this picture, am told, 'no it looks fine to me.' To which I replied, 'Then I am the size below x4.'
I was laughed at. 'No you're not.'
Okay, I'm not. I am most definitely not but I am so wearing this t-shirt with the tag facing outwards. That'll confuse people.
...one of the size below the size below clothes isn't the size below the size below, it is in fact the size below the size below the size below the size below. For those who just fell off their chairs counting - that is four sizes below my diet start weight. Actually, I'm confused now too.
I checked the cardboard tag, then I checked the label. Most definitely that size below times four. At this point, I'm convinced the top that I've already tried on three times can't possibly fit. So, I try it on again. Parade around the house wearing the t-shirt asking is anything wrong with this picture, am told, 'no it looks fine to me.' To which I replied, 'Then I am the size below x4.'
I was laughed at. 'No you're not.'
Okay, I'm not. I am most definitely not but I am so wearing this t-shirt with the tag facing outwards. That'll confuse people.
June 8, 2012
Observations While Writing
(Because even when you have Freedom switched on there are always ways to procrastinate)
- The David Tennant Doctor Who figure is taller than the Matt Smith figure and for some reason I thought it would be the other way around. I should Google who is tallest. (To which the answer is a) yes David Tennant is taller and b) what an odd site and c) my Google-Fu found that in one click).
- Why have trays on your desk if you're not going to use them for anything sensible? And yes, labelling them WIP / Ideas / Guidelines / Writing Tips isn't much good if you're just going to throw everything into whatever tray you feel like.
- Making graphs is an awesome way to track your progress even if you're not making any progress because you're busy making graphs.
- Scribbling short story titles and throwing them into the trays would be awesome if you used the right trays or maybe had a short story title tray. Ooh, see now I have another reason to procrastinate and then later on I could blog* about all the silly things I write short story titles on like fruit pastille wrappers and gift tags and whatnot. You'd think there were no notebooks in this room.
- If you count all the unused notebooks in your office, you may find they total 30 (at least).
*I won't really blog about that... Although, in the words of James Bond, never say never.
I wonder which James Bond figure is the tallest?
- The David Tennant Doctor Who figure is taller than the Matt Smith figure and for some reason I thought it would be the other way around. I should Google who is tallest. (To which the answer is a) yes David Tennant is taller and b) what an odd site and c) my Google-Fu found that in one click).
- Why have trays on your desk if you're not going to use them for anything sensible? And yes, labelling them WIP / Ideas / Guidelines / Writing Tips isn't much good if you're just going to throw everything into whatever tray you feel like.
- Making graphs is an awesome way to track your progress even if you're not making any progress because you're busy making graphs.
- Scribbling short story titles and throwing them into the trays would be awesome if you used the right trays or maybe had a short story title tray. Ooh, see now I have another reason to procrastinate and then later on I could blog* about all the silly things I write short story titles on like fruit pastille wrappers and gift tags and whatnot. You'd think there were no notebooks in this room.
- If you count all the unused notebooks in your office, you may find they total 30 (at least).
*I won't really blog about that... Although, in the words of James Bond, never say never.
I wonder which James Bond figure is the tallest?
June 5, 2012
Beware: Exclamation Marks Here
Three weeks ago (in this post), I realised I only had seven short stories out on submission. Wrists were slapped, stories were written, and now I have eleven stories out on submission. I must be really scary. Or at least I hope I am as I need to scare myself into writing another dozen or so. I just plucked that number out of the air, it isn't an actual 'I must write twelve stories' pact. I might write another four, I might write forty-four. Who knows! Life is one great big mystery. But there is one I really, really (and one more really) need to write and it must be scary.*
In those three weeks, I had a reprint accepted, which you'll all have noticed I got a little squee-happy about. The TOC is now online and all this happy dancing is great for my figure. Lois Tilton also reviewed the latest issue of The Journal of Unlikely Entomology over at Locus. Always good to have a story reviewed there. And I worked on one of my novels.
And in even more fabulous news, E Catherine Tobler had a story published in Clarkesworld. Clarkesworld!!! You should read it because it's awesome.
*note to self: don't just include spiders and feet.
In those three weeks, I had a reprint accepted, which you'll all have noticed I got a little squee-happy about. The TOC is now online and all this happy dancing is great for my figure. Lois Tilton also reviewed the latest issue of The Journal of Unlikely Entomology over at Locus. Always good to have a story reviewed there. And I worked on one of my novels.
And in even more fabulous news, E Catherine Tobler had a story published in Clarkesworld. Clarkesworld!!! You should read it because it's awesome.
*note to self: don't just include spiders and feet.
May 31, 2012
Frightening Aliens
A few things...
Firstly, lazy people who buy supermarket pre-prepared salad deserve to discover its contents are mainly iceberg lettuce and red onion. You do not want me to breathe on you right now. Plus, discovering radishes are one calorie each makes them a heck of a lot tastier. I could eat radishes for breakfast, lunch, tea... Expect me to turn as red as a radish.
My diet has totally stalled over the last month and I was all arms flapping in the air (though obviously not flapping enough) and bemoaning how unfair it was that I was dieting and not losing anything and then I thought about it a little and realised I'd probably become complacent and let extra calories slip in thus I am on an 800 calorie a day diet for two weeks and then I'll go back to 1400. Plus I'm heading for the lift and not the stairs. Most of the time. I've also ramped up my exercise a little if only as a warning to aliens not to invade Earth. The logic in this is, they'll be flying over Liverpool, wonder what the seismic shift is, see me dancing and flee back to their mother planet.
I saved you all.
But I still can't have cake.
And now other awesome things...
You may have heard me mention how much I loved KC Shaw's Jack of All Trades - seriously the book is delightful and I refuse to ever shut up about it - well now Kate has another book out,
Evil Outfitters Ltd
which I have wanted to read for forever and is set in the same universe.
Trust me, you are going to want to read it.
And today... How much awesome book news can you take in one day? Well lots I suppose seen as you all love books.
Today, Ennis Drake's book 28 Teeth of Rage is released by Omnium Gatherum. It will be available as both and e-book and a paperback. You can read the blurb here.
Ennis's short stories have previously appeared in Horror Library 4 and Twisted Legends. 28 Teeth is his first novel.
Now I shall go and scare off more aliens.
Firstly, lazy people who buy supermarket pre-prepared salad deserve to discover its contents are mainly iceberg lettuce and red onion. You do not want me to breathe on you right now. Plus, discovering radishes are one calorie each makes them a heck of a lot tastier. I could eat radishes for breakfast, lunch, tea... Expect me to turn as red as a radish.
My diet has totally stalled over the last month and I was all arms flapping in the air (though obviously not flapping enough) and bemoaning how unfair it was that I was dieting and not losing anything and then I thought about it a little and realised I'd probably become complacent and let extra calories slip in thus I am on an 800 calorie a day diet for two weeks and then I'll go back to 1400. Plus I'm heading for the lift and not the stairs. Most of the time. I've also ramped up my exercise a little if only as a warning to aliens not to invade Earth. The logic in this is, they'll be flying over Liverpool, wonder what the seismic shift is, see me dancing and flee back to their mother planet.
I saved you all.
But I still can't have cake.
And now other awesome things...
You may have heard me mention how much I loved KC Shaw's Jack of All Trades - seriously the book is delightful and I refuse to ever shut up about it - well now Kate has another book out,
Evil Outfitters Ltd
which I have wanted to read for forever and is set in the same universe.Trust me, you are going to want to read it.
And today... How much awesome book news can you take in one day? Well lots I suppose seen as you all love books.
Today, Ennis Drake's book 28 Teeth of Rage is released by Omnium Gatherum. It will be available as both and e-book and a paperback. You can read the blurb here.
Ennis's short stories have previously appeared in Horror Library 4 and Twisted Legends. 28 Teeth is his first novel.
Now I shall go and scare off more aliens.
May 28, 2012
Bucket List
If I had a bucket list, then getting into a Prime Books anthology would be on it. So let me mark a tick in that box. My story 'Manipulating Paper Birds' (which first appeared in my Strange Men collection) is to be reprinted in Circus, Fantasy Under the Big Top edited by Ekaterina Sedia. I've sent a huge thank you to the person who recommended the story.
A huge, huge thank you.
Isn't the cover awesome and creepy and well awesome?
May 23, 2012
Aftertaste
Issue 3 of Phantasmagorium is now available to buy. (Beware happy dancing occurring in the Liverpool area). It contains a reprint of my story 'The Sour Aftertaste of Olive Lemon' along with stories by Edward Morris, Cody Goodfellow, Ann K Schwader and Michael Cisco, and is edited by Joe Pulver.
So excited to see Olive Lemon in print again.
Photo stolen from the Phantasmagorium web page. Go check them out (please).
I shall now return to daydreaming about summer days and Mr Whippy ice cream.
May 20, 2012
No Flies on Me
Issue 3 of The Journal of Unlikely Entomology is now live and contains my story The Familiar Buzz of Gone, a tale of missed opportunities and a man made of flies. The issue also contains stories by Amanda C Davis (a reprint from Shock Totem and a story I love), J M McDermott, Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Conor Powers-Smith, Steven L Peck, and Juliet Kemp.
I know what I'm reading this week. Oh, and even if you don't have time to read all the stories you have to check out the artwork for each tale because the art is astounding.
And in other Journal of Unlikely Entomology news, the magazine was a runner-up for best new online magazine in the storySouth Million Writers Award.
I know what I'm reading this week. Oh, and even if you don't have time to read all the stories you have to check out the artwork for each tale because the art is astounding.
And in other Journal of Unlikely Entomology news, the magazine was a runner-up for best new online magazine in the storySouth Million Writers Award.
