R.S. Gompertz's Blog, page 3

Occupy MalMart Black Friday!

Americans pride themselves on planning ahead. That's why our big stores start celebrating Christmas in October.
Shopping, of course, is one of our inalienable rights, guaranteed by the constitution along with the right to pack more horsepower, firepower, and body mass per capita than any other nation on earth.
The consumer spending that drives our economy traditionally kicks into high gear on a day known as "Black Friday."
Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is the symbolic day that store balance sheets turn from red ink to black ink. Black Friday is the day that stores turn profitable so, naturally, they want to stay open as long as possible.
To maximize black ink, stores open early on Black Friday. and each year they open earlier. 8AM gave way to 7AM which eventually gave way to 3AM.
Consumers craving deals and hoping to stretch their dollars in a poor economy queue in the cold for hours before the doors open.Long before Occupy Wall Street, the other 99% camped on sidewalks and peed in parking lots for Black Friday.
Black Friday can be quite competitive. One year, people got trampled as throngs pushed through the doors in a frenzied search for bargains.  Another year, tragically, a store employee was killed by a stampede.
Given the opportunity to get drunk on black ink, it was only a matter of time before the big stores figured out that they could open even earlier by opening the night before. In the past, "the night before" corresponded to Thanksgiving dinner, our most sacred public holiday besides Halloween.
But, as our founding fathers so foundingly declared: Nothing is more sacred than commerce.
Are you looking for an excuse to abandon those dull, stuffed relatives? Need some aerobic shopping exercise after the big meal? Run out of pumpkin pie or just worried that someone else is going to get the last big screen TV deal?
Give thanks, America. The mega-stores are now open right after Thanksgiving dinner.
So when you sit down to your rushed Thanksgiving feast this year, be sure to give thanks to those store employees who are giving up their Thanksgiving and risking their lives to protect our freedom to shop 24/7.
And if you really want to get a jump on the deals, why not have your Thanksgiving feast right at the MalMart McRonalds?

Shoppers Go Crazy. 4AM Black Friday, 2010www.noroadsleadtorome.com

A Proposal to Reduce Toxic Academy Awards Emissions

I know better than to compete with Eddie Murphy, but now that he has stepped aside, I offer my services to host the 2012 Academy Awards.
I checked my schedule. I can squeeze it in and, frankly, they need my help.
At 84 year's old, the navel-gazing gala has gotten stale and predictable. Does anyone really want to watch another room full of glitzy people with big shiny teeth pretending to congratulate each other?
It's time to shake things up.
For starters, we need to move the Oscars out of Hollywood. It's a great place, but other towns are more deserving.
Imagine what the Oscars could do for Flint, Michigan. The infusion of cash from Oscar related activities could probably solve the Greek debt crisis. Or, what if we held the event in a secret location and made attendees hunt for it?
Better yet, what if we make the event 100% virtual?
Liberal movie stars and toothy glitterati will be thrilled by the first ever Emissions Neutral Academy Awards. No plane flights. No gas-guzzling limos. No klieg lights visible from space.  The parched aquifers of Southern California will be spared from thousands of showering hotel guests and hot tub parties.
What if everyone stays home and we use Skype to webcast the entire event over the Wii channel?
By bit torrenting all films directly to your smart phone, we can revolutionize voting. Instead of a secret cabal of industry insiders, everyone will have a say. Besides, nobody understands who the "Academy" is or why they never give awards to Muppet movies.  
To liven things up, we'll offer exciting new awards like "Worst Sequel," "Dullest Foreign Film," and "Biggest Dud." We'll launch an entire category dedicated to films that rely on excessive special effects instead of actual story telling.
All the silly song and dance numbers will be moved to YouTube.  The tedious envelopes and nominations and tearful "thank the academy" speeches will be replaced with live blogs and Twitter hash tags like #insecure-narcissist and #I-don't-really-own-this-jewelry.
The after-event parties that none of us are ever invited to will be replaced by a more inclusive world-wide discount on pizza delivery.
So, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the ball's in your court. I've cleared my calendar. Have your people call mine.www.noroadsleadtorome.com

A Proposal to Reduce Academy Awards Emissions

I know better than to compete with Eddie Murphy, but now that he has stepped aside, I offer my services to host the 2012 Academy Awards.
I checked my schedule. I can squeeze it in and, frankly, they need my help.
At 84 year's old, the navel-gazing gala has gotten a stale and predictable. Does anyone really want to watch another room full of glitzy people with big shiny teeth pretending to congratulate each other?
It's time to shake things up.
For starters, we need to move the Oscars out of Hollywood. It's a great place, but other towns are more deserving.
Imagine what the Oscars could do for Flint, Michigan. The infusion of cash from Oscar related activities could probably solve the Greek debt crisis. Or, what if we held the event in a secret location and made attendees hunt for it?
Better yet, what if we make the event 100% virtual?
Liberal movie stars and toothy glitterati will be thrilled by the first ever Emissions Neutral Academy Awards. No plane flights. No gas-guzzling limos. No klieg lights visible from space.  The parched aquifers of Southern California will be spared from thousands of showering hotel guests and hot tub parties.
What if everyone stays home and we use Skype to webcast the entire event over the Wii channel?
By bit torrenting all films directly to your smart phone, we can revolutionize voting. Instead of a secret cabal of industry insiders, everyone will have a say.
Nobody understands who the "Academy" is or why they never give awards to Muppet movies.  
To liven things up, we'll offer exciting new awards like "Worst Sequel," "Dullest Foreign Film," and "Biggest Dud." We'll launch an entire category dedicated to films that rely on excessive special effects instead of actual story telling.
All the silly song and dance numbers will be moved to YouTube.  The tedious envelopes and nominations and tearful "thank the academy" speeches will be replaced with live blogs and Twitter hash tags like #insecure-narcissist and #I-don't-really-own-this-jewelry.
The after-event parties that none of us are ever invited to anyway can be replaced by a more inclusive world-wide discount on pizza delivery.
So, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the ball's in your court. I've cleared my calendar. Have your people call mine.www.noroadsleadtorome.com

People with clean desks will love Google+

The world's population just passed the 7 billion mark and nearly 10% of them are on Facebook.

This means that if Facebook were a country, it would be big enough to start World War III.  I know, because someone who seems likely to invade Poland just friended me. 

My personal Facebook page is completely out of control, mostly because I'm too easy.  But after experiencing rejection firsthand, I hate to shun anyone unless they're from the publishing industry. Besides, you never know when some complete stranger will turn out to be interesting, or bring the FBI to your front door.

Given the cacophony of Facebook, Google+ has some initial appeal.   G+ has a very sleek dashboard, there are no Mafia Wars, and with less than 1% of the planet onboard, it's not crowded.

G+ might even be stable, though one of the more entertaining aspects of Facebook is the way people freak out every time it changes. Facebook is Mark Zuckerberg's revenge on those of us with IQ's less than 180. As soon as people figure out the current version, he rearranges everything and laughs while we squirm and call him Satan.

Megabucks Mark keeps changing the rules so nobody ever understands what's happening.  Privacy? Forget it. I suspect that someday we'll learn Mark was a CIA agent.

G+ attacks the endearing chaos of Facebook by allowing you to set up nice, controled circles of people who can only see you. You are the hub, they are the spokes. You broadcast, they respond. That's all G+ does. This is fine for control freaks, but as media goes, it's not exactly "social."

People with clean desks will love Google+.

Facebook takes the messy desk approach--it's an ever expanding mess, nearly impossible to organize. Every time you post something, all of your friends can weigh in and insult each other.

So, good luck trying to have serious interactions on Facebook.  You can announce your own funeral and one of your so-called friends will derail the conversation with a rant about the ozone layer or a cute video of a cat riding a pony.

Facebook does offer organization features, but just because my desk offers drawers doesn't mean they aren't overflowing with gum wrappers and paper clips. Not that any of my "friends" resemble paper clips, but some are pretty twisted. In theory, I could group them all into my Facebook paper clip drawer and quarantine them from harassing my more sedate acquaintances, but what fun would that be?

Facebook reminds me of a party I once hosted for people who knew me but didn't know each other.  They had nothing in common except me, which wasn't enough to keep them from offending each other.

The party was a disaster until we started drinking, and then a fight broke out. The two combatants eventually left to start revolutions in their respective countries which is something else that will never happen with Google+.

Find me on Facebook! 






www.noroadsleadtorome.com

Save Maggie! Recession hits The Simpsons

The cartoon town of Springfield is not immune from the global recession as the Fox Television network demands 45% pay cuts from the cast of The Simpsons.
Will the cuts extend to Montgomery Burns or is austerity only for Homer Simpson?
Waylon Smithers, a spokesman for the owner of Springfield's nuclear power plant issued the following statement: "Mr. Burns rejects any notion that he should take a pay cut or roll back his planned 45% increase in the cost of electricity. If pressed to trim his already modest lifestyle, he will be forced to release the hounds."
"I guess we all need to do some belt tightening," said Marge Simpson, as she exited the bowling alley, "but I don't wear a belt."
The man who wears the pants in the family might benefit from some belt tightening but when asked if he would forgo beer and donuts, Homer Simpson just said "D'oh!"
Homer's neighbor Ned Flanders was more sanguine about the financial crisis, even going so far as to hint that the global downturn was a sign from The Almighty that Springfield's educators should stop teaching evolution in schools. "I'm just saying," he said.
Hearing that the school district might be hit, Bart Simpson suggested that his teacher Edna Krabappel should be sacked. "If I'm a typical result of the school system, then teachers are clearly overpaid."
"A 45% pay cut is a disaster!" said Springfield Mayor Joe Quimby. "We can't provide the same level of shoddy services if tax revenues fall. Besides, I'm only halfway through remodeling my office."
But not all of Springfield is up in arms. Many merchants see upside in the downturn. Apu, owner of the Kwik-E-Mart intends to increase his orders for Duff beer in anticipation of unemployed workers drinking more.  Pub owner Moe Szyslak made a similar observation when announcing that he would be open earlier on Sundays.
The impact is so widespread Troy McClure, the actor you know from the 1977 hit film "Muppets Go Medieval," announced that the sequel to "Calling All Lumberjacks" will be delayed indefinitely. Crusty the Clown was forced to fire Sideshow Bob."This time for good," he said.
Frustrated with facing a jobless future and paying off the debts incurred by reckless baby boomers, Lisa Simpson is currently occupying Wall Street and could not be reached for comment.


      Will Homer Simpson Get the Axe?www.noroadsleadtorome.com

If Elected, I Will Win!

 "If elected, I will win!" This was the promise of Pat Paulsen (1927-1997), America's last great presidential candidate.  
Paulsen was a burst of blinding genius in an otherwise dark political night. He predicted the roots of our current political gridlock when he said, "Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."
By losing six times, Pat Paulsen proved that there is no room for brains in presidential politics.
To paraphrase Adlai Stevenson, another original candidate: thinking people may have voted for Paulsen, but he needed a majority to win.
That's why I commit to be the dullest president ever.  If elected, I will do nothing. In my second term, I will do even less.
That's my promise and you can take that to the bank, if you can find one.
When it comes to the presidency, history proves that doing less is more. Consider how unfairly the last few presidents have been vilified for taking so much initiative.
Barack Obama had the bold idea for universal health care. Now we have socialist death panels forcing seniors to overdose on Canadian Viagra.
George W Bush had the original idea of invading a country that had done us no harm. This forward looking, pre-emptive strike is now so unappreciated that nobody wants to pay for it.
Bill Clinton had the unusual idea to de-regulate banks and let them engage in innovative risks with hardly any capital to cover their bets investments.   People hated Clinton. Now they hate banks, too.
Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon. Now people remember Nixon as a great statesman and Ford as a doofus.
Richard Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency, and the EPA created global warming. Talk about unintended consequences.
In the 2012 Presidential Election voters want someone they can believe in, not someone who is thinking.
Now that some of the wackier candidates are running out of money, I intend to get my campaign for the Republican nomination out of the gutter and back on track.  
You won't see me in televised debates because I don't want to soil my perfect record by saying something intelligent that will be clicked repeatedly by those kids on youtube.
I'll save my creativity for the sequels to "No Roads Lead to Rome." My books are about the absurdity of large organizations and the misadventures of the humble idealists and conniving opportunists who inhabit them.
I'm confident that the presidency will provide me with plenty of zany material for future satire.  The Oval Office looks like a cozy place to write a novel and I look forward to many hours of quiet drinking thinking there.

Pat Paulsen: Two Faced Politician (1968)
www.noroadsleadtorome.com

Abandon the Euro!

(In the spirit of international misunderstanding, "The Expat's Pajamas: Barcelona" is currently free on smashwords !)
I was in Granada, Spain when the first euro coins arrived on January 1, 2002. Anyone familiar with Spanish bureaucracy would have been amazed by the lack of chaos during the currency transition.  The ATM's were well stocked with notes, the vendors were ready with euro-to-peseta calculators, and many of the coins had been minted as far back as 1999.
The only problem I saw was a shortage of new coins to make change for the 50-euro notes spewing out of the cash machines. In the shadow of the Alhambra, we made economic union with mixed currencies until the banks re-opened and filled our jingling pockets with images of Cervantes and King Juan Carlos.
When the New Year's holiday ended, I observed British tourists frantically spending pesetas and euros on duty-free Brandy de Jerez before leaving Spain.  Their kingdom, of course, did not embrace the euro, and still hasn't.
This was a good decision.
The UK's official reason for not joining the original twelve member states in currency unification was that as a major banking center, they didn't want to cede control over their economy to Brussels. 
I'm sure there was more to it than that.
I know the British derive great amusement from watching befuddled tourists trying to fathom why two pence is larger than two quid, but that's not their only reason for holding fast to the pound sterling.
If the euro took hold in the UK, British citizens would quickly realize that a Big Mac (and just about everything else) in London costs double what it costs in Paris and probably quadruple the price in Portugal. Everyone loves British beef, but that hardly justifies such gouging.
Some sterling enthusiasts feel it would be improper to have images of Queen Elizabeth mixing in people's pockets with Leonardo's spread-eagle naked man on the Italian euro coin.
While Lizzy and Leo might make an immodest pair,  I think the real objection is over slang.
On the continent, the arrival of the euro killed a rich vernacular. On that fateful first day of January, many  popular terms for money simply evaporated.  Before the euro, a Frenchman could refer to "ten franks" as "dix balles."  A Spaniard could refer to "ten pesetas" as "diez pelas," and a Greek could refer to "twenty drachmas" as "xyoihm." After the new currency invaded, many countries saw their mother tongues shrivel as euro-speak took over.
The euro would be devastating for slang in Great Britain. Here's simple proof: which expression is culturally and linguistically richer? Which phrase is more rustic and evocative?             (a) "Two quid-bob a pop for your bangers, kippers, rashers and mash, Guv'nuh," or             (b) "Three euros for that Big Mac, sir."
I rest my case. The euro would be a death sentence for the English language.
The British were wise not to lose linguistic gamut by switching to the sterile uni-currency.  There may be light at the end of the euro tunnel, but for the moment the English language emerges victorious.
In the haste to unify continental markets, a rich lexicon of financial slang was relegated to history.   Is it too late to recover? Should the EU ditch the euro and bring back the franc, peseta, drachma, and lira?
OK, maybe not the lira, but you get my point. It's not too late to save the slang.
(In the spirit of international misunderstanding, "The Expat's Pajamas: Barcelona" is currently free on smashwords !)www.noroadsleadtorome.com

Ancient Romans Colonized My Brain!

In the summer of 2000, I moved to Barcelona with my family for reasons both professional and personal.
Unlike many people who change countries, we weren't fleeing chaos. We weren't forced to move under duress. No one was shooting at us.
But the truth is that I was fleeing something.
I was running away from my own complacency.
There's a French word, "depaysment," which roughly translates to mean "out of your element,"  and that's what I needed. Moving to Spain jerked me out of my comfort zone.
Of all the expat adventures, comic defeats and small victories that emerged from my five years abroad, the one I'm most proud of is "No Roads Lead to Rome."
Here's how the book hit me.
One weekend, I was hiking with a friend in the Collserola, the hills above Barcelona. We were lamenting the decline and fall of damn near everything when the story hatched like a bird in my brain. I imagined two Roman soldiers having the same conversation 2000 years earlier. We were walking in their footsteps.  The world had changed, but people had not.
As revelations go, this tiny insight could have easily escaped me.  People have always felt like things are changing too fast and rarely for the better.
Big deal, right?
Within minutes, I was possessed by an old Roman legionary and a young conscript. I could hear them lamenting their lot in life.  How could the Senate vote to build another monument when people can't even afford a decent pair of sandals? How did those vexed Roman numeral crunchers conclude the bread dole was too expensive?  Much of the dialogue between my grizzled old centurion, Marcus Valerius, and his chatty young sidekick, Gaius Severus, took root that afternoon.
Centurion Valerius is frustrated that the old ways are changing too fast. He's tired of being marched off on fool's missions to defend an empire he no longer believes in. He wants to retire, but no empire ever went broke paying pensions to old soldiers. The smart and mysterious conscript, Gaius Severus, thinks things aren't changing fast enough. He's full of opinions, eager to make his way in the world, and his nonstop talking nearly drives old, silent Valerius crazy. These two are pitted against Festus Rufius, the party boy Governor of Hispania, and his shady advisor, Winus Minem, a fast-talking bamboozler who would sell the world, twice, if he could.
When I learned that around 123 AD a slave had botched an attempt to kill the Emperor Hadrian in Tarraco — Tarragona, Spain — the first line in the novel wrote itself: "When it comes to assassination, execution is everything."
My cast of characters staged a coup and took over my life. They took me hostage and have yet to let me go. They have many new stories to tell. Each one wants to star in a sequel. 
There are books and ideas that will change your life—relax, this isn't one of them.  I'm not trying to make you think because you're already a thoughtful person.  I worked hard to capture the sights, smells, and sensations of the ancient world and render the story humorous, entertaining,  and relevant to modern readers.   The e-book version costs less than coffee and a scone and lasts longer.
Of all the reviews I've received, this excerpt from a reader named Jerry, is the most gratifying:
"I have a pretty dreadful life at the moment and rarely laugh but several times throughout No Roads Lead to Rome, I found myself not only laughing but laughing out loud…"

I'm gratified that so many people have bought the book. Some people write for themselves, and that's fine, but I wrote "No Roads" because a handful of old Romans colonized my brain.

Maybe all roads don't lead to Rome, but I know they lead somewhere good and I hope we meet along the way.
Enjoy!
RSG

http://www.noroadsleadtorome.com/
[image error]

If you like "No Roads,"  please return the favor by posting a review. Whether you love it or hate it, I'd be happy to hear from you. Please post a comment below or send me a note at noroadsleadtorome (at) gmail.com .  If you have a favorite character, let me know so I don't accidentally kill him off in the sequel. www.noroadsleadtorome.com

Ancient Romans Ate My Brain!

In the summer of 2000, I moved to Barcelona with my family for reasons both professional and personal.
Unlike many people who change countries, we weren't fleeing chaos. We weren't forced to move under duress. No one was shooting at us.
But the truth is that I was fleeing something.
I was running away from my own complacency.
There's a French word, "depaysment," which roughly translates to mean "out of your element,"  and that's what I needed. Moving to Spain jerked me out of my comfort zone.
Of all the expat adventures, comic defeats and small victories that emerged from my five years abroad, the one I'm most proud of is "No Roads Lead to Rome."
Here's how the book hit me.
One weekend, I was hiking with a friend in the Collserola, the hills above Barcelona. We were lamenting the decline and fall of damn near everything when the story hatched like a bird in my brain. I imagined two Roman soldiers having the same conversation 2000 years earlier. We were walking in their footsteps.  The world had changed, but people had not.
As revelations go, this tiny insight could have easily escaped me.  People have always felt like things are changing too fast and rarely for the better.
Big deal, right?
Within minutes, I was possessed by an old Roman legionary and a young conscript. I could hear them lamenting their lot in life.  How could the Senate vote to build another monument when people can't even afford a decent pair of sandals? How did those vexed Roman numeral crunchers conclude the bread dole was too expensive?  Much of the dialogue between my grizzled old centurion, Marcus Valerius, and his chatty young sidekick, Gaius Severus, took root that afternoon.
Centurion Valerius is frustrated that the old ways are changing too fast. He's tired of being marched off on fool's missions to defend an empire he no longer believes in. He wants to retire, but no empire ever went broke paying pensions to old soldiers. The smart and mysterious conscript, Gaius Severus, thinks things aren't changing fast enough. He's full of opinions, eager to make his way in the world, and his nonstop talking nearly drives old, silent Valerius crazy. These two are pitted against Festus Rufius, the party boy Governor of Hispania, and his shady advisor, Winus Minem, a fast-talking bamboozler who would sell the world, twice, if he could.
When I learned that around 123 AD a slave had botched an attempt to kill the Emperor Hadrian in Tarraco — Tarragona, Spain — the first line in the novel wrote itself: "When it comes to assassination, execution is everything."
My cast of characters staged a coup and took over my life. They took me hostage and have yet to let me go. They have many new stories to tell. Each one wants to star in a sequel. 
There are books and ideas that will change your life—relax, this isn't one of them.  I'm not trying to make you think because you're already a thoughtful person.  I worked hard to capture the sights, smells, and sensations of the ancient world and render the story humorous, entertaining,  and relevant to modern readers.   The e-book version costs less than coffee and a scone and lasts longer.
Of all the reviews I've received, this excerpt from a reader named Jerry, is the most gratifying:
"I have a pretty dreadful life at the moment and rarely laugh but several times throughout No Roads Lead to Rome, I found myself not only laughing but laughing out loud…"

I'm gratified that so many people have bought the book. Some people write for themselves, and that's fine, but I wrote "No Roads" because a handful of old Romans wanted modern readers to hear their tale.. 
Maybe all roads don't lead to Rome, but I know they lead somewhere good and I hope we meet along the way.
Enjoy!
RSG

http://www.noroadsleadtorome.com/
[image error]

If you like "No Roads,"  please return the favor by posting a review. Whether you love it or hate it, I'd be happy to hear from you. Please post a comment below or send me a note at noroadsleadtorome (at) gmail.com .  If you have a favorite character, let me know so I don't accidentally kill him off in the sequel. www.noroadsleadtorome.com

Why I Wrote "No Roads Lead to Rome"

In the summer of 2000, I moved to Barcelona with my family for reasons both professional and personal.
Unlike many people who change countries, we weren't fleeing chaos. We weren't forced to move under duress. No one was shooting at us.
But the truth is that I was fleeing something.
I was running away from complacency.
Moving to Spain jerked me out of my comfort zone and got me thinking, feeling, and experiencing life again. There's a French word, "depaysment," which roughly translates to mean "out of your element."  That's what I needed.
Of all the expat adventures, comic defeats and small victories that emerged from my five years abroad, the one I'm most proud of is "No Roads Lead to Rome."
Here's how the book hit me.
One weekend, I was hiking with a friend in the Collserola, the hills above Barcelona. We were lamenting the decline and fall of damn near everything when the story hatched like a bird in my brain. I imagined two Roman soldiers having the same conversation 2000 years earlier. We were walking in their footsteps.  The world had changed, but people had not.
As revelations go, this tiny insight could have easily escaped me.  People have always felt like things are changing too fast and rarely for the better.
Big deal, right?
Something about the moment inspired me to imagine a couple of Roman legionaries complaining about their lot in life.  How could the Senate vote to build another monument when people can't even afford a decent pair of sandals? How did those vexed Roman numeral crunchers conclude the bread dole was too expensive?  Much of the dialogue between my grizzled old centurion, Marcus Valerius, and his chatty young conscript, Gaius Severus, took root that afternoon.
Centurion Valerius is frustrated that the old ways are changing too fast. He's tired of being marched off on fool's missions. He's ready to retire from serving  incompetent leaders and defending an empire he no longer believes in.  But no empire ever went broke paying pensions to old soldiers. The young and mysterious conscript, Gaius Severus is eager to make his way in the world; he thinks things aren't changing fast enough and his nonstop talking nearly drives old, silent Valerius crazy. These two are pitted against Festus Rufius, the party boy Governor of Hispania, and his shady advisor, Winus Minem, a fast-talking bamboozler who would sell the world, twice, if he could.
When I learned that around 123 AD a slave had botched an attempt to kill the Emperor Hadrian in Tarraco — Tarragona, Spain — the first line in the novel wrote itself: "When it comes to assassination, execution is everything."
As soon as these lines were writen, my cast of characters staged a coup and took over my life. They held me hostage and have yet to let me go. They have many new stories to tell. Each one wants to star in a sequel. 
I'm delighted that my friends, Romans and countrymen resonate so well with a contemporary audience. Of all the reviews I've received, this excerpt from a reader named Jerry, is the most gratifying:
"I have a pretty dreadful life at the moment and rarely laugh but several times throughout No Roads Lead to Rome, I found myself not only laughing but laughing out loud…"

There are books and ideas that will change your life—relax, this isn't one of them.  I'm not trying to make you think because you're already a thoughtful person.  I worked hard to capture the sights, smells, and sensations of the ancient world and render the story humorous, entertaining,  and relevant to modern readers.   The e-book version costs less than coffee and a scone and lasts longer.
I'm gratified that so many people have bought the book. Some people write for themselves and that's fine, but I wrote this for you.
If you like "No Roads,"  please return the favor by posting a review. Whether you love it or hate it, I'd be happy to hear from you. Please post a comment below or send me a note at noroadsleadtorome (at) gmail.com .  If you have a favorite character, let me know so I don't accidentally kill him off in the sequel.
Maybe all roads don't lead to Rome, but I know they lead somewhere good and I hope we meet along the way.
Enjoy!
RSGhttp://www.noroadsleadtorome.com/
[image error]
www.noroadsleadtorome.com