Lisa Roecker's Blog, page 3
February 20, 2013
Happy Birthday Laura!
32 years of marathon phone conversations, promises, catty comments, secrets, fights, crazy ideas, terrible outfits, questionable decisions, adverbs, books, wine, marathon phone conversations, tears happy and sad, laughter, fun, lies, disappointment, excitement, chaos, debriefs, bad movies, terrible television, dreams, hopes, kids, near misses, perfect catches, alibis, boyfriends, husbands, dads, moms, in-laws, emails, texts, beer pong, vacations, failed tennis matches, peed pants, pouting, terrible driving, bad casual French, stinky clogs, staring contests, paging Dr. Nino, Make-Me-Laugh, Singers Anonymous, terrible jobs, crap cars, rejection, best friends and...SISTERS.
I have no idea what I'd do without you and Stacey.
This is the only picture ever taken where I'm cuter than you.
Happy Birthday.
I have no idea what I'd do without you and Stacey.
This is the only picture ever taken where I'm cuter than you.
Happy Birthday.
January 18, 2013
My Darling Daughter - A Brief Study in Lydia
My daughter is a character. She eats only when she wants to eat--every other day on average. She greets Lisa's sarcasm with elegant disdain. She's crazy smart. She's an amazing friend.
Lydia has a good heart, but her own agenda. If she is interested in you, she can't shut up. When she and her cousins get together, there is a constant stream of chatter and giggles. They have a ball together. But she does not appreciate conversation with strangers which makes public outings...interesting.
I took Lydia out the day after Christmas for some deal hunting. Truthfully, I'm not a huge fan of strangers stopping us and asking questions or commenting either.
It's very rarely, "Oh my, what delightfully well behaved children!"
Oh no, it's usually something like "Wow, someone looks tired!"
Or the ever popular, "Are they ok?"
I'm always so tempted to respond to that one with something along the lines of, "Well, we're not really sure since they haven't developed pysychological testing for sociopaths under 5 just yet."
I love my kids, but the grim reality is that you never know what you're going to get with a one-year-old and a four-year-old when you go to Target. Honestly, I just wish people would avoid eye contact as they would with a pack of wild animals and keep on moving. I'm usually too busy whisper-yelling or desperately opening whatever snack items we're supposed to be buying to make small talk about my children's perceived behavioral issues. Especially the day after Christmas. But that didn't stop a kind, old lady from stopping us at the grocery store. I'm sure she meant well.
Geriatric Woman: "Hello, young lady."
Lydia: *blank stare*
Me: *sweating* "Lydia, what do we say when someone says hello?"
Lydia: (sounding like she'd rather have someone pull her fingernails out individually than acknowledge the kind geriatric. "Hello."
Geriatric Woman: "What did Santa bring for you?"
Lydia: *blank stare* *slow blinks*
Me: *sweating more* "Lydia, what do we do when someone asks you a question?"
Editorial note: There were a few more seconds of silence here and in retrospect if I'd been paying close attention, I'm sure I would have been able to see my life flash before my eyes.
Lydia: "A knife." *creepy child-head-cock last seen in Maculay Culkin's award winning performance in The Good Son*
Editorial note: A KNIFE. I swear Lydia barely knows what a knife is and certainly doesn't know that a knife is used for anything other than cutting food. A FREAKING KNIFE.
Me: "Lydia! WHAT DID SANTA BRING YOU?"
Editorial note: Mentally, I had already packed up all the nice presents we gathered for our daughter and donated them to a child who doesn't lie about receiving a KNIFE for Christmas.
Lydia: "Toys." [Translation: Eff you, creepy oldie.]
I did my best to keep a straight face while filling my husband in when we got home. He had to look away before addressing Lydia who was served with a very extensive time out and a long question/answer session in which she informed us that she heard about a knife from school.
But I still have nightmares about that creepy-child-head-cock.
Lydia has a good heart, but her own agenda. If she is interested in you, she can't shut up. When she and her cousins get together, there is a constant stream of chatter and giggles. They have a ball together. But she does not appreciate conversation with strangers which makes public outings...interesting.
I took Lydia out the day after Christmas for some deal hunting. Truthfully, I'm not a huge fan of strangers stopping us and asking questions or commenting either.
It's very rarely, "Oh my, what delightfully well behaved children!"
Oh no, it's usually something like "Wow, someone looks tired!"
Or the ever popular, "Are they ok?"
I'm always so tempted to respond to that one with something along the lines of, "Well, we're not really sure since they haven't developed pysychological testing for sociopaths under 5 just yet."
I love my kids, but the grim reality is that you never know what you're going to get with a one-year-old and a four-year-old when you go to Target. Honestly, I just wish people would avoid eye contact as they would with a pack of wild animals and keep on moving. I'm usually too busy whisper-yelling or desperately opening whatever snack items we're supposed to be buying to make small talk about my children's perceived behavioral issues. Especially the day after Christmas. But that didn't stop a kind, old lady from stopping us at the grocery store. I'm sure she meant well.
Geriatric Woman: "Hello, young lady."
Lydia: *blank stare*
Me: *sweating* "Lydia, what do we say when someone says hello?"
Lydia: (sounding like she'd rather have someone pull her fingernails out individually than acknowledge the kind geriatric. "Hello."
Geriatric Woman: "What did Santa bring for you?"
Lydia: *blank stare* *slow blinks*
Me: *sweating more* "Lydia, what do we do when someone asks you a question?"
Editorial note: There were a few more seconds of silence here and in retrospect if I'd been paying close attention, I'm sure I would have been able to see my life flash before my eyes.
Lydia: "A knife." *creepy child-head-cock last seen in Maculay Culkin's award winning performance in The Good Son*
Editorial note: A KNIFE. I swear Lydia barely knows what a knife is and certainly doesn't know that a knife is used for anything other than cutting food. A FREAKING KNIFE.
Me: "Lydia! WHAT DID SANTA BRING YOU?"
Editorial note: Mentally, I had already packed up all the nice presents we gathered for our daughter and donated them to a child who doesn't lie about receiving a KNIFE for Christmas.
Lydia: "Toys." [Translation: Eff you, creepy oldie.]
I did my best to keep a straight face while filling my husband in when we got home. He had to look away before addressing Lydia who was served with a very extensive time out and a long question/answer session in which she informed us that she heard about a knife from school.
But I still have nightmares about that creepy-child-head-cock.
January 8, 2013
Third Lie's the Charm - Cover Reveal Contest!
Click here to guess Kate's hair color in Book #3 and win a super fun prize pack.
And don't forget to stop by Icey Books tomorrow to catch the first glimpse of the cover. We're so excited for everyone to see!
And don't forget to stop by Icey Books tomorrow to catch the first glimpse of the cover. We're so excited for everyone to see!
January 5, 2013
Booklist on The Lies That Bind
My mom was very unhappy that I didn't post anything about our Booklist review, so here it goes:
“This imaginative mystery, complete with secret passageways and passwords, will leave readers eager for the next installment.”
Yay! We're so happy readers are enjoying Kate's second adventure. We have some exciting news coming about book #3 next week, including a cover reveal!!! So. Pumped.
And in the meantime both eBooks are on sale for $1.99! Personally I think $1.99 is the perfect price for an eBook, so now is a great time to buy them!
(Are you happy now, Mom?)
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
“This imaginative mystery, complete with secret passageways and passwords, will leave readers eager for the next installment.”
Yay! We're so happy readers are enjoying Kate's second adventure. We have some exciting news coming about book #3 next week, including a cover reveal!!! So. Pumped.
And in the meantime both eBooks are on sale for $1.99! Personally I think $1.99 is the perfect price for an eBook, so now is a great time to buy them!
(Are you happy now, Mom?)
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
January 3, 2013
The Worst Day of My Writing Life
Hello, worst day of my writing life. You are characterized by instant upper-lip sweating, full-body shakes, and many, many tears. You began at approximately 1:07 AM, Saturday, December 29th and didn't end until after 7 PM the following day. I hate you, by the way.
Let's back up. 1:03 AM was a very, very good moment. Lisa and I had just spent the past 4 DAYS, 4 HOURS per night, READING ALOUD our current edit for THIS IS W.A.R. My voice was hoarse for 4 days because we labored over every word, discussed changes at length and went off on many, many tangents. Lisa had track changes on her computer and I had a brand, spanking new document I was building as we went. AKA the final version. I saved obssessively--an every-five-minutes-kind-of-save, a type-a-word-hit-save kind of save, a if-I-hit-save-one-more-time-I-will-be-considered-a-save-junky kind of save. You get the idea. 1:00 struck and we FINISHED. We spent approximately 1 hour on the last paragraph of the book, literally tearing apart every word to make sure we got it right. And then BAM. It was right and it was finished and it was good.
Lisa: Send me the document and we'll send to Dan. Yay!!!
Laura: Wait...I thought you were doing the edits.
Lisa: Very funny.
Laura: Ha ha ha. He. he. he.
We hung up the phone and I saved one last time before exiting the beautifully complete document to attach to an email. And then my world as I knew it was swallowed up. All of the dates on the This Is War FINAL document showed the wrong date. Christmas day to be exact. The day we began editing. This is not right. This is not right. Don't panic. This is not right. I opened Word to check my most recent documents. Not listed.
Cue terrified shakes. And heavy breathing. And tears. Lots and lots of instant tears.
I knew deep down that it had to be somewhere. I had saved the document religiously. It was on my computer. Word hadn't given me any Are you sure you want to exit without saving? messages and I HAD saved. I conducted a series of searches. My husband came downstairs at 2:30 afraid that I wasn't in bed. I cried. He searched my computer. Nothing. I continued searching until 3:30 in the morning and then finally cried myself to sleep hoping when I awoke, the entire experience would turn out to be a bad dream, the finished document waiting in our inbox where it belonged.
But who am I kidding? This is the worst day of my writing life. I woke up and the document showed Christmas day, reflecting not one of the changes Lisa and I had discussed. I had a few options.
1. Continue wasting valuable time searching.
2. Take my computer to a computer genius and beg.
3. Tell Lisa. Cry. Ask for forgiveness.
4. Start over.
So...I took a shower and cried. Ditched my kids with my husband and hightailed it to the nearest computer genius store and cried. No dice. If the document wasn't found during a search of all files as well as hidden files, it was gone. If it had been deleted, genius would have been able to help. Not saved properly? Nope. But I did save properly, I Saved As, I hit the save button continuously, I DID SAVE PROPERLY, but it was neither here nor there. Didn't matter. A waste. Gone.
So I parked my very sad-looking self into a seat at the library. And I started over. I knew I couldn't tell Lisa about my mistake until I had finished, until I knew that I could finish and make everything right again. My husband stayed with the kids and I worked the entire day/night recreating the hours of work we had lost. Luckily, I have a good memory and I had been the one adding the changes in the first place. The entire process was the definition of deja vu--reading aloud the original must have helped because I'm pretty confident I caught everything and maybe even a few misses. And every hour? I emailed an attachment and copied and pasted the document into an email to myself. If I was an obssesive saver before, I've developed into a complete head case.
I did eventually tell Lisa. But not until the document was safely nestled into our inbox where it should have been all along.
Let's back up. 1:03 AM was a very, very good moment. Lisa and I had just spent the past 4 DAYS, 4 HOURS per night, READING ALOUD our current edit for THIS IS W.A.R. My voice was hoarse for 4 days because we labored over every word, discussed changes at length and went off on many, many tangents. Lisa had track changes on her computer and I had a brand, spanking new document I was building as we went. AKA the final version. I saved obssessively--an every-five-minutes-kind-of-save, a type-a-word-hit-save kind of save, a if-I-hit-save-one-more-time-I-will-be-considered-a-save-junky kind of save. You get the idea. 1:00 struck and we FINISHED. We spent approximately 1 hour on the last paragraph of the book, literally tearing apart every word to make sure we got it right. And then BAM. It was right and it was finished and it was good.
Lisa: Send me the document and we'll send to Dan. Yay!!!
Laura: Wait...I thought you were doing the edits.
Lisa: Very funny.
Laura: Ha ha ha. He. he. he.
We hung up the phone and I saved one last time before exiting the beautifully complete document to attach to an email. And then my world as I knew it was swallowed up. All of the dates on the This Is War FINAL document showed the wrong date. Christmas day to be exact. The day we began editing. This is not right. This is not right. Don't panic. This is not right. I opened Word to check my most recent documents. Not listed.
Cue terrified shakes. And heavy breathing. And tears. Lots and lots of instant tears.
I knew deep down that it had to be somewhere. I had saved the document religiously. It was on my computer. Word hadn't given me any Are you sure you want to exit without saving? messages and I HAD saved. I conducted a series of searches. My husband came downstairs at 2:30 afraid that I wasn't in bed. I cried. He searched my computer. Nothing. I continued searching until 3:30 in the morning and then finally cried myself to sleep hoping when I awoke, the entire experience would turn out to be a bad dream, the finished document waiting in our inbox where it belonged.
But who am I kidding? This is the worst day of my writing life. I woke up and the document showed Christmas day, reflecting not one of the changes Lisa and I had discussed. I had a few options.
1. Continue wasting valuable time searching.
2. Take my computer to a computer genius and beg.
3. Tell Lisa. Cry. Ask for forgiveness.
4. Start over.
So...I took a shower and cried. Ditched my kids with my husband and hightailed it to the nearest computer genius store and cried. No dice. If the document wasn't found during a search of all files as well as hidden files, it was gone. If it had been deleted, genius would have been able to help. Not saved properly? Nope. But I did save properly, I Saved As, I hit the save button continuously, I DID SAVE PROPERLY, but it was neither here nor there. Didn't matter. A waste. Gone.
So I parked my very sad-looking self into a seat at the library. And I started over. I knew I couldn't tell Lisa about my mistake until I had finished, until I knew that I could finish and make everything right again. My husband stayed with the kids and I worked the entire day/night recreating the hours of work we had lost. Luckily, I have a good memory and I had been the one adding the changes in the first place. The entire process was the definition of deja vu--reading aloud the original must have helped because I'm pretty confident I caught everything and maybe even a few misses. And every hour? I emailed an attachment and copied and pasted the document into an email to myself. If I was an obssesive saver before, I've developed into a complete head case.
I did eventually tell Lisa. But not until the document was safely nestled into our inbox where it should have been all along.
January 1, 2013
Meet Lucy.
We're proud aunties again. Lucille "Lucy" Hope has arrived (fashionably late, of course) and we've fallen in love all over again. 2013 is a good year. Happy birthday, baby Lucy.
PS: You have the best name ever and we're totally stealing it for our WIP.
PS: You have the best name ever and we're totally stealing it for our WIP.
December 21, 2012
Lisa Roecker and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
My humiliating day has become something of a holiday tradition. Hope you enjoy my humiliation! May your holidays be merry and bright!Let me preface this by saying there were a lot of events leading up to this day. First off, my friend and I took our sons to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox the night before. In retrospect it probably would have been a good idea to do some research around the plot and to consider going to an earlier showing.
Here's a transcript from my hilarious friend recapping the evening for you. Keep in mind that her husband was already semi-annoyed that she chose to keep Jack's bestie out this late "on a school night."
Dad: How was the movie?
Jack's bestie: Good.
Dad: What movie was it?
Jack's bestie: Don't know.
Dad: Well, what was the movie about?
Jack's bestie: Don't know. Ask Mom.
Dad: You don't remember anything about the movie? What was one thing you remember about the movie?
*dramatic pause*
Jack's bestie: There was this really good part where the farmers got their shooters and started shooting at a tree and the foxes. There were lots of guns and it was really scary and they were really bad men.
*dramatic pause*
Dad: Great.
Fast forward to the next morning.
8:00 AM - Jack drags himself out of bed. Gets very excited to learn that he can wear his pajamas to school for the big Snow Day Party. He refuses to go to the bathroom, but I decide to call it even since I don't have to force him out of his pajamas and into his school clothes.
8:51 AM - Drop kids off at school and find out that several parents sent in their money for the class gift a day late which leaves me about two hours to buy additional gifts for the teachers. Being the room mom really is a bitch.
9:05 AM - Arrive at mall to purchase gifts for teachers only to find out the mall doesn't open until 10 AM.
9:06 AM - Place emergency call to uber talented sister to see if she can whip up some personalized stationary for the teachers.
Stacey: (sounding hoarse and groggy) Hello?
Lisa: Hey. How long does it take you to make stationary?
Stacey: (sounding suspicious) Why?
Lisa: Just wondering...
Stacey: I can make it quickly. When do you need it?
Lisa: In an hour.
Stacey: *coughs*
Lisa: Did I wake you up?
Stacey: I was just taking a little nap.
Lisa: Crap.
9:30 AM: Arrive back home to place PayPal order for the stationary to make sure Stacey actually accepts payment. She's notoriously bad at cashing my checks.
9:39 AM: Check Jack's class list to see who paid for the gifts and who didn't. Realize that I gave Stacey an incorrect spelling for one of the teacher's names. Swear profusely and call Stacey immediately.
Lisa: Have you already printed Mrs. D's cards?
Stacey: Yeah....
Lisa: $%^&
Stacey: What?
Lisa: I spelled her $%&^*(& name wrong.
Stacey: %$#&
Lisa: I know. Just forget it.
Stacey: No way, I'll print new ones.
Lisa: I love you.
9:55 AM - Leave my house, double check the door is locked and head to my car. Reach into my pocket for my keys only to find they're not there. %$#&. Check under the door mat for spare key, not there. %$#@.
9:56 AM - Cry a little.
9:57 AM - Grab the Little Tykes slide from the garage and drag it around the perimeter of my house trying to break in through one of our windows only to find they're all locked.
10:05 AM - Notice that I can't feel my hands anymore.
10:06 AM - Find Jack's Lightning McQueen gloves in the trunk and stuff my hands into them.
10:07 AM - Begin trying all the windows again. One last try before I call Stacey and beg her to drive me to Jack's school. The grip on the McQueen gloves gives me just enough leverage to pop open one of my family room windows.
10:08 AM - Marvel at how easy it is to break into my house.
10:09 AM - Try to squeeze past Christmas tree in my huge down coat.
10:10 AM - Fail. The entire Christmas tree comes crashing down.
10:11 AM - Cry a little.
10:20 AM - Cards have been picked up and I'm off to Jack's school.
Editorial note: Loyal readers will remember that there is a bat shit crazy woman in Jack's preschool class who insisted that all of the food at the school party be made of fruit and air. Just a quick reminder as she proved to be yet another leading factor in Lisa's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Day.
10:46 AM - Arrive in Jack's classroom and witness bat shit crazy mom flipping out at one of the other parents for bringing cupcakes.
10:47 AM - Hear bat shit crazy mom telling another parent about her son's clown phobia. She just wanted to verify that no one was planning on hiring a clown for the end of the school party in JUNE. JUNE!
10:48 AM - Bite my tongue so hard that I taste blood.
10:49 AM - Help the children make Marshmallow Snowmen.
10:50 AM - Stress eat a Twizzler.
10:55 AM - Try to assist the kids in getting their snowmen into little personalized bags to take home. As I'm helping Jack he bites the head off his snowman and laughs at me.
10:56 AM - Practice yoga breathing.
10:57 AM - Stress eat another Twizzler.
11:09 AM - Treats have been distributed and Jack eats them all within seconds and wants more. I quietly tell him that he's had enough and he screams "This is the worst party ever!" and throws his juice box across the room.
11:10 AM - Do the walk of shame across the room to pick up the juice box and practice my yoga breathing.
11:11 AM - Stress eat another Twizzler.
11:12 AM - Teacher asks me if I'll be taking Jack home after the party and I smile brightly and say "Oh no, he has extended day today. Remember?"
11:13 AM - Teacher cries a little.
11:30 AM - Call my husband to inform him that I'll be enrolling his son in military school and he reminds me that it was my decision to keep him out until 9:30 PM the night before.
11:31 AM - Cry a little.
11:32 AM - Stress eat all of the remaining Twizzlers.
11:34 AM - Call the aforementioned hilarious friend to relay the events of the party, specifically the new information about the clown phobia. Hilarious friend claims she's going to start doing carpool dressed as a clown.
11:35 AM - Come dangerously close to peeing my pants.
11:47 AM - Back home. Assess damage to our Christmas tree.
11:48 AM - Cry a little.
11:49 AM - Remind myself that at least I'll get a decent blog post out of this.
Here's a transcript from my hilarious friend recapping the evening for you. Keep in mind that her husband was already semi-annoyed that she chose to keep Jack's bestie out this late "on a school night."
Dad: How was the movie?
Jack's bestie: Good.
Dad: What movie was it?
Jack's bestie: Don't know.
Dad: Well, what was the movie about?
Jack's bestie: Don't know. Ask Mom.
Dad: You don't remember anything about the movie? What was one thing you remember about the movie?
*dramatic pause*
Jack's bestie: There was this really good part where the farmers got their shooters and started shooting at a tree and the foxes. There were lots of guns and it was really scary and they were really bad men.
*dramatic pause*
Dad: Great.
Fast forward to the next morning.
8:00 AM - Jack drags himself out of bed. Gets very excited to learn that he can wear his pajamas to school for the big Snow Day Party. He refuses to go to the bathroom, but I decide to call it even since I don't have to force him out of his pajamas and into his school clothes.
8:51 AM - Drop kids off at school and find out that several parents sent in their money for the class gift a day late which leaves me about two hours to buy additional gifts for the teachers. Being the room mom really is a bitch.
9:05 AM - Arrive at mall to purchase gifts for teachers only to find out the mall doesn't open until 10 AM.
9:06 AM - Place emergency call to uber talented sister to see if she can whip up some personalized stationary for the teachers.
Stacey: (sounding hoarse and groggy) Hello?
Lisa: Hey. How long does it take you to make stationary?
Stacey: (sounding suspicious) Why?
Lisa: Just wondering...
Stacey: I can make it quickly. When do you need it?
Lisa: In an hour.
Stacey: *coughs*
Lisa: Did I wake you up?
Stacey: I was just taking a little nap.
Lisa: Crap.
9:30 AM: Arrive back home to place PayPal order for the stationary to make sure Stacey actually accepts payment. She's notoriously bad at cashing my checks.
9:39 AM: Check Jack's class list to see who paid for the gifts and who didn't. Realize that I gave Stacey an incorrect spelling for one of the teacher's names. Swear profusely and call Stacey immediately.
Lisa: Have you already printed Mrs. D's cards?
Stacey: Yeah....
Lisa: $%^&
Stacey: What?
Lisa: I spelled her $%&^*(& name wrong.
Stacey: %$#&
Lisa: I know. Just forget it.
Stacey: No way, I'll print new ones.
Lisa: I love you.
9:55 AM - Leave my house, double check the door is locked and head to my car. Reach into my pocket for my keys only to find they're not there. %$#&. Check under the door mat for spare key, not there. %$#@.
9:56 AM - Cry a little.
9:57 AM - Grab the Little Tykes slide from the garage and drag it around the perimeter of my house trying to break in through one of our windows only to find they're all locked.
10:05 AM - Notice that I can't feel my hands anymore.
10:06 AM - Find Jack's Lightning McQueen gloves in the trunk and stuff my hands into them.
10:07 AM - Begin trying all the windows again. One last try before I call Stacey and beg her to drive me to Jack's school. The grip on the McQueen gloves gives me just enough leverage to pop open one of my family room windows.
10:08 AM - Marvel at how easy it is to break into my house.
10:09 AM - Try to squeeze past Christmas tree in my huge down coat.
10:10 AM - Fail. The entire Christmas tree comes crashing down.
10:11 AM - Cry a little.
10:20 AM - Cards have been picked up and I'm off to Jack's school.
Editorial note: Loyal readers will remember that there is a bat shit crazy woman in Jack's preschool class who insisted that all of the food at the school party be made of fruit and air. Just a quick reminder as she proved to be yet another leading factor in Lisa's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Day.
10:46 AM - Arrive in Jack's classroom and witness bat shit crazy mom flipping out at one of the other parents for bringing cupcakes.
10:47 AM - Hear bat shit crazy mom telling another parent about her son's clown phobia. She just wanted to verify that no one was planning on hiring a clown for the end of the school party in JUNE. JUNE!
10:48 AM - Bite my tongue so hard that I taste blood.
10:49 AM - Help the children make Marshmallow Snowmen.
10:50 AM - Stress eat a Twizzler.
10:55 AM - Try to assist the kids in getting their snowmen into little personalized bags to take home. As I'm helping Jack he bites the head off his snowman and laughs at me.
10:56 AM - Practice yoga breathing.
10:57 AM - Stress eat another Twizzler.
11:09 AM - Treats have been distributed and Jack eats them all within seconds and wants more. I quietly tell him that he's had enough and he screams "This is the worst party ever!" and throws his juice box across the room.
11:10 AM - Do the walk of shame across the room to pick up the juice box and practice my yoga breathing.
11:11 AM - Stress eat another Twizzler.
11:12 AM - Teacher asks me if I'll be taking Jack home after the party and I smile brightly and say "Oh no, he has extended day today. Remember?"
11:13 AM - Teacher cries a little.
11:30 AM - Call my husband to inform him that I'll be enrolling his son in military school and he reminds me that it was my decision to keep him out until 9:30 PM the night before.
11:31 AM - Cry a little.
11:32 AM - Stress eat all of the remaining Twizzlers.
11:34 AM - Call the aforementioned hilarious friend to relay the events of the party, specifically the new information about the clown phobia. Hilarious friend claims she's going to start doing carpool dressed as a clown.
11:35 AM - Come dangerously close to peeing my pants.
11:47 AM - Back home. Assess damage to our Christmas tree.
11:48 AM - Cry a little.
11:49 AM - Remind myself that at least I'll get a decent blog post out of this.
December 19, 2012
December 19th
Today I'm thinking of all of the parents. All of the children. All of the brothers and sisters. All of the friends. I'm thinking of an entire community, devastated.
Today I'm thinking of my husband and his brothers who lost their brother 9 years ago. I'm thinking of his parents who lost a son. I'm thinking of my kids and my 4-day-old nephew who were never able to meet their uncle.
I'm thinking that all of this loss, all of this sadness could have been avoided if we lived in a world without guns.
Today I'm going to light a candle to remember them. All of them. And today I'm going to pray that our country figures out a way to put a stop to this violence. Join me?
Today I'm thinking of my husband and his brothers who lost their brother 9 years ago. I'm thinking of his parents who lost a son. I'm thinking of my kids and my 4-day-old nephew who were never able to meet their uncle.
I'm thinking that all of this loss, all of this sadness could have been avoided if we lived in a world without guns.
Today I'm going to light a candle to remember them. All of them. And today I'm going to pray that our country figures out a way to put a stop to this violence. Join me?
December 12, 2012
Win a FULL Manuscript Critique from LiLa
We all have dreams.
Laura and I dreamed of being published writers. We dreamed of seeing our books on shelves. And we pinch ourselves every single day that our dream actually came true.
As dreamers, there's nothing we love more than helping others achieve their dreams and we have a friend Kate who has a dream of owning her own bookstore. And now that our favorite independent bookstore, The Learned Owl, is for sale she has a chance to make that dream come true.
But she needs our help. And your help too, if you're willing. Right now Kate is hosting a fundraiser to help earn capital towards the purchase of The Learned Owl and we would love it if you would consider donating toward Kate's dream. Think of it like karma. A dream for a dream.
Of course, you guys have dreams too, right? And I bet some of you dream of being published writers. If being a published writer is your dream and you donate to Kate's campaign, we will enter you to win a FULL MANUSCRIPT critique by the crazy Roecker sisters. That's 4 published author eyes on your writing. And if you're interested, we'll even schedule a phone call with you to discuss your work within one month of you sending it to our little old inbox. We can talk all about your writing and how amazing it is and whatever suggestions we might have to make it even more amazing. Or we could just gossip about Bravo. We're pretty good at that too.
And we'll even throw in signed copies of The Liar Society, The Lies That Bind and the super-secret first chapter of Third Lie's the Charm. Oh, and we'll send you an ARC of THIS IS W.A.R. as soon as we get our hot little hands on one.
SO, if you're interested in entering our contest and helping Kate achieve her dream, make a donation, send us an email at lisa-laura@live.com to let us know or leave a comment on this blog post with your e-mail address. We'll choose one winner on Monday, January 14th!
So what do you say? Want to make some dreams come true? WE DO.
Laura and I dreamed of being published writers. We dreamed of seeing our books on shelves. And we pinch ourselves every single day that our dream actually came true.
As dreamers, there's nothing we love more than helping others achieve their dreams and we have a friend Kate who has a dream of owning her own bookstore. And now that our favorite independent bookstore, The Learned Owl, is for sale she has a chance to make that dream come true.But she needs our help. And your help too, if you're willing. Right now Kate is hosting a fundraiser to help earn capital towards the purchase of The Learned Owl and we would love it if you would consider donating toward Kate's dream. Think of it like karma. A dream for a dream.
Of course, you guys have dreams too, right? And I bet some of you dream of being published writers. If being a published writer is your dream and you donate to Kate's campaign, we will enter you to win a FULL MANUSCRIPT critique by the crazy Roecker sisters. That's 4 published author eyes on your writing. And if you're interested, we'll even schedule a phone call with you to discuss your work within one month of you sending it to our little old inbox. We can talk all about your writing and how amazing it is and whatever suggestions we might have to make it even more amazing. Or we could just gossip about Bravo. We're pretty good at that too.And we'll even throw in signed copies of The Liar Society, The Lies That Bind and the super-secret first chapter of Third Lie's the Charm. Oh, and we'll send you an ARC of THIS IS W.A.R. as soon as we get our hot little hands on one.
SO, if you're interested in entering our contest and helping Kate achieve her dream, make a donation, send us an email at lisa-laura@live.com to let us know or leave a comment on this blog post with your e-mail address. We'll choose one winner on Monday, January 14th!
So what do you say? Want to make some dreams come true? WE DO.
December 10, 2012
Happy Birthday, Elana Johnson!
Dear Elana,Happy Birthday! In honor of your special day, we want to take a moment and celebrate the top 100 51 10 reasons we love you. As you can see, it was hard to narrow to 10. 10. Elana Johnson is hilarious. Her emails always crack us up, we look forward all year to WriteOnCon underbelly chats and are even lucky enough to hear Elana LIVE. Yes, we've talked. Be jealous. She's funny. Really, really funny. 9. Elana is freaking smart. An emotional plot? Wha? Yeah... 8. She can query like no other. Getting ready to send your manuscript out? Download this. NOW. You'll thank us later. 7. Elana loves bacon. Can you ever love anyone who doesn't? 6. She has something to say. And you can depend on her to actually...ahem...say it. Unlike, oh, I don't know, a couple sisters we know. She blogs! Regularly! And she's helpful and funny and awesome!
5. She has really cool hair. Like Vi from Possession. Laura got a really bad haircut before leaving for college. It single-handedly ruined her college experience. Not many people can say that just like not many people can say they have cool hair like Elana Johnson.4. Elana will eventually take over the world. So get on board. She has ideas and they're really big and she's so generous, she'll always let people hang onto her coattails. 3. She's figured out how to clone herself. We're not entirely sure how she's done it, but there are multiple versions of Elana running around accomplishing everything she does in the same amount of time it takes us to brush our teeth in the morning. It's an art. 2. The girl can write. Elana's books introduced us to drop dead gorgeous boys with names like Zenn and Jag and Gunner who fight to take control of their own lives and help the girls they care about do the same. They make you take a step back and consider the lives we lead and the society in which we lead them and make a smart statement about power and the abuse of it. 1. Elana is one of the most selfless, encouraging, supportive, giving, compassionate people we know. She always has time to listen or help or guide or connect. It might seem like Elana's dropping everything to help a friend and that's probably because she is. We are so honored to know Elana and our writing community would not be the same without her. Happy Birthday to one of our first friends in these parts. We love you and are so proud of everything you've accomplished! Now go win ALL of her books! Click the image above to enter and tell us why you love Elana Johnson and her books in the comments! 
