Lisa Roecker's Blog, page 21
August 31, 2011
A Conversation Between LiLa
Lisa: You hate me, don't you?
Laura: Kind of.
Lisa: I'm sorry I didn't get my chapter done. I've just got so much going on....
Laura: Don't lie. I saw you tweeting about Awkward and the VMAs.
Lisa: Oh, so now you decide to check Twitter.
Laura: Yeah, well I've had a lot of time on my hands since you've STOPPED WRITING.
Lisa: Right. Sorry. I'll write my chapter tonight. Right after I fold this laundry....
Laura: Since when do you fold laundry? Your laundry room looks like something out of an episode of Hoarders. Procrastinate much?
Lisa: Crap. You're right. I'm writing, I'm writing.
Laura: That's what I thought. Who's the bossy sister now?
Laura: Kind of.
Lisa: I'm sorry I didn't get my chapter done. I've just got so much going on....
Laura: Don't lie. I saw you tweeting about Awkward and the VMAs.
Lisa: Oh, so now you decide to check Twitter.
Laura: Yeah, well I've had a lot of time on my hands since you've STOPPED WRITING.
Lisa: Right. Sorry. I'll write my chapter tonight. Right after I fold this laundry....
Laura: Since when do you fold laundry? Your laundry room looks like something out of an episode of Hoarders. Procrastinate much?
Lisa: Crap. You're right. I'm writing, I'm writing.
Laura: That's what I thought. Who's the bossy sister now?
August 30, 2011
Tell The Truth Tuesday
1. Every time I clean my house I say a little prayer that someone will randomly come over and think my house is this clean all the time. It never happens.
2. It's still really hard for me to have people read things that I wrote. Particularly if it's something I wrote all by myself.
3. The one question from aspiring writers that always annoys the crap out of me is this: "I think I just need someone who can rewrite this book for me and make it good. Is that what your agent or editor did for you guys?" Um, no. No, it is not.
4. It smells like Fall and I sort of love it. Apple picking, pumpkins, hot cider.
5. Jack tied his shoes for the first time last week and I cried. Guess I have the mom gene after all. It's just buried REALLY deep.
6. We might have just sent someone a 10,000 word OUTLINE. Yikes.
7. Laura is probably going to divorce me forever when she wakes up tomorrow and doesn't see a shiny new chapter of THE LIES THAT BIND waiting in our joint inbox. Sorry, Laur! Today is THE day. Promise.
8. Watching The Bachelor Pad makes me feel dirty.
9. I have the funniest quote ever from Laura about boobs, but she'll really kill me if I put it in this post. Since I don't have a new chapter for her to read I'm not going to push my luck.
10. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom when I see the other moms crying as they leave their kids in Kindergarten. Today is the first day that all of the kids will be in school AT THE SAME TIME. No more mommy-tasking and bribing the kids to stay quiet during conference calls. No tears from this girl! Whut! Whut!
And now, TO THE COMMENTS! What's your truth this Tuesday?
2. It's still really hard for me to have people read things that I wrote. Particularly if it's something I wrote all by myself.
3. The one question from aspiring writers that always annoys the crap out of me is this: "I think I just need someone who can rewrite this book for me and make it good. Is that what your agent or editor did for you guys?" Um, no. No, it is not.
4. It smells like Fall and I sort of love it. Apple picking, pumpkins, hot cider.
5. Jack tied his shoes for the first time last week and I cried. Guess I have the mom gene after all. It's just buried REALLY deep.
6. We might have just sent someone a 10,000 word OUTLINE. Yikes.
7. Laura is probably going to divorce me forever when she wakes up tomorrow and doesn't see a shiny new chapter of THE LIES THAT BIND waiting in our joint inbox. Sorry, Laur! Today is THE day. Promise.
8. Watching The Bachelor Pad makes me feel dirty.
9. I have the funniest quote ever from Laura about boobs, but she'll really kill me if I put it in this post. Since I don't have a new chapter for her to read I'm not going to push my luck.
10. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom when I see the other moms crying as they leave their kids in Kindergarten. Today is the first day that all of the kids will be in school AT THE SAME TIME. No more mommy-tasking and bribing the kids to stay quiet during conference calls. No tears from this girl! Whut! Whut!
And now, TO THE COMMENTS! What's your truth this Tuesday?
August 29, 2011
The Little Things
My husband is obsessed with 9/11. Anytime there's a documentary on, he's tuned in and with the 10 year anniversary this week we've been watching a lot of the footage. Reliving it, dissecting what happened, hearing first hand accounts from the victim's families.
It's difficult to watch. I don't know if other people feel this way, but I can't think about 9/11 without getting a huge pit in my stomach. The fear of the possibilities swallows me and I start to go through what ifs.
What if terrorists strike again?
What if my husband is on the plane?
What if I have cancer and I don't know it?
What if one of my kids get sick?
What if we get into a horrible car accident?
All of the horrible possibilities pile on top of each other until I want to crawl back into bed and never crawl back out. Sometimes in those moments it's tempting to stop living because I'm so scared of dying.
Which is silly if you think about it because there's so much to live for. So I take a deep breath and force myself to take stock of all I have to be thankful for, to think about the reasons I get out of bed every single morning.
The drooly smiles.
The surprise hugs and kisses.
The sound of my husband's laugh.
Fan mail from 12-year-olds.
BBQs at my parents house where my brother-in-law scares the crap out of the kids while hiding in a dark shed.
Hilarious videos of my nephew drawing all over my sister's car.
The time that the guy at the Mac store gave me a new charger free of charge, just to be nice.
That feeling you get the moment you put down a really amazing book.
So, tell me, what gets you out of bed every morning?
It's difficult to watch. I don't know if other people feel this way, but I can't think about 9/11 without getting a huge pit in my stomach. The fear of the possibilities swallows me and I start to go through what ifs.
What if terrorists strike again?
What if my husband is on the plane?
What if I have cancer and I don't know it?
What if one of my kids get sick?
What if we get into a horrible car accident?
All of the horrible possibilities pile on top of each other until I want to crawl back into bed and never crawl back out. Sometimes in those moments it's tempting to stop living because I'm so scared of dying.
Which is silly if you think about it because there's so much to live for. So I take a deep breath and force myself to take stock of all I have to be thankful for, to think about the reasons I get out of bed every single morning.
The drooly smiles.
The surprise hugs and kisses.
The sound of my husband's laugh.
Fan mail from 12-year-olds.
BBQs at my parents house where my brother-in-law scares the crap out of the kids while hiding in a dark shed.
Hilarious videos of my nephew drawing all over my sister's car.
The time that the guy at the Mac store gave me a new charger free of charge, just to be nice.
That feeling you get the moment you put down a really amazing book.
So, tell me, what gets you out of bed every morning?
August 26, 2011
This Week In Celebrities
Do you hear that noise? It's Bridget Moynahan shrieking in RAGE every time the paparazzi snap a picture of her son with Gisele "Breastfeeding Should be an International Law" Bundchen playing family with her son.
Wow, guess it really is possible to de-sex Bradley Cooper. Who knew?
OK, Demi and Punky are described as besties in the caption of this photo. I'm intrigued. How do they know each other? Was Soleil a secret brat packer??? Does this mean Punky Brewster was doing lines off of Rob Lowe in between takes with Henry and the gang at the club house? I NEED MORE INFORMATION.
This outfit confirms my suspicions that I want to be Pippa Middleton. Not be like her, but actually physically take over her life.Dear Pippa, This is probably right about the time where you get a restraining order and I totally get that, but let's not let that hinder our budding friendship, k? XOXO, L
Anderson is the only man who can wear a backpack in public without looking like a semi-hungover college student.
Someone send Jonah Hill food. STAT. I'm concerned. This is like Stage 5 Manorexia. He looks like he's getting diet tips from Carson Daly.
Leonardo DiCaprio and Toby Maguire on the set of The Great Gatsby. Oh. My. God. Need this movie NOW.
Yet another pink haired, Kate. We approve.Happy weekend everyone!
August 25, 2011
Bookanistas: IMAGINARY GIRLS
First things first, the cover. THE COVER. You can't talk about this book without first drooling over the cover. It's eery and striking--perfectly indicative of the words contained inside. And isn't that what it's all about? I know that covers are a marketing tool--pick me up, buy me. But there is absolutely nothing more satisfying than when you read a book and quickly realize that the cover suits the book perfectly. It is such a good feeling.
What the back cover has to say:
Chloe's older sister, Ruby, is the girl everyone looks to and longs for, who can't be captured or caged. When a night with Ruby's friends goes horribly wrong and Chloe discovers the dead body of her classmate London Hayes left floating in the reservoir, Chloe is sent away from town and away from Ruby.
But Ruby will do anything to get her sister back, and when Chloe returns to town two years later, deadly surprises await. As Chloe flirts with the truth that Ruby has hidden deeply away, the fragile line between life and death is redrawn by the complex bonds of sisterhood.
What Lila has to say:
The cover will obviously get you to buy the book and then the story will take you on a very unique adventure like nothing I've ever read before. I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it! I MEAN IT. How many times can you say you've read about a resevoir that is rumored to have a drowned city below the surface? Creepy, right? Or a girl who dies and is brought back to life somehow? And yes, I'm sure you've read about all sorts of sister relationships, but I can assure you none of them have quite been like Chloe and Ruby's.
And then there's the writing. It's hard to believe this is Nova Ren Suma's debut novel. Her writing seems so experienced--it's the kind that makes you ashamed you've ever even tried to write! It's tense and vivid and poetic and filled with imagination. Woven throughout the plot is a thread of magic and mysticism, which makes the book stand out in that truly unforgettable way.
And no review of IMAGINARY GIRLS would be complete without discussing Ruby's character. She's one of those larger than life characters who jumps right off the page and grabs hold of other characters as well as the reader and never lets go. You listen to Ruby. You do what she says. You follow her. Because there is something in the way that she is that demands it. I'd like to know a Ruby just to see what it'd be like.
If you're in the mood for something completely different and entirely creative, give IMAGINARY GIRLS a try. The magic will lure you in, so beware, you're sure to have some late nights ahead!
Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:
August 24, 2011
In Which I Steal From the Catholic Church and Secure My Spot in Hell
7:55 AM: Vaguely hear my husband tell Jack and Mia they're allowed to have "weekend" cereal on a Monday. Alarm bells were sounding but I was soooo sleepy.
8:30 AM: Wake-up to a full on WWF style wrestling competition in my family room.
8:31 AM: Curse my husband for feeding the kids sugar and then taking off on a business trip.
8:32 AM: Curse even louder when I remember Jack's Kindergarten open house is in an hour and a half.
9:01 AM: Bribe the children into submission and take a quick shower.
9:10 AM: Briefly flirt with the idea of actually blow drying my hair.
9:11 AM: Make eye contact with Ben who immediately starts screaming his head off and twist the whole mess into a bun.
9:28 AM: Ask Jack to turn off the lights down the basement. He laughs in my face and gets exiled to his room amidst many threats of never ever going to Kindergarten and growing up to be illiterate and alone.
9:40 AM: Begin the trek to the Catholic school where Jack is going to be attending Kindergarten.
9:41 AM: Mia complains that her legs hurt and this is the longest walk ever and she HATES Jack's school. I can still see our house and tell her to zip it.
9:42 AM: Remember that I'm the worst Catholic EVER and start sweating. Profusely.
10:02 AM: Arrive at the school. Wonder if anyone has have written a book about a vampire who goes to Catholic school. So. Many. Crosses.
10:07 AM: Finally find Jack's classroom and meet his teachers. They're lovely.
10:09 AM: Hear Jack's voice screaming at Mia like he was using a microphone.
10:10 AM: Realize Jack somehow located and turned on a microphone.
10:11 AM: Whisper-yell at Jack while simultaneously avoiding judgy looks from the other moms.
10:12 AM: Continue making small talk with Jack's teacher while holding Ben and praying that Jack doesn't ask why there's a guy hanging from a cross.
10:13 AM: Feel something sharp on my arm.
10:14 AM: Realize Ben somehow grabbed scissors off the teacher's desk and is now actively trying to stab me with them.
10:15 AM: Figure it's time to cut our losses and get the hell out of Dodge before we get kicked out of the school altogether.
10:16 AM: Jack mumbles goodbye to his teacher while another little boy walks up to her and says, "Hi I'm Charlie O'Malley and I can read."
10:17 AM: Consider stabbing myself with the scissors and putting an end to my mommy guilt forever.
10:18 AM: Remind myself that Catholics really don't approve of suicide and head on up to buy special pencils from the school supply sale.
10:23 AM: Locate the special Catholic pencils and one of the adorable girls working the sale hands me a little receipt and directs me toward the cashier.
10:24 AM: Realize the cashier doesn't accept credit cards.
10:25 AM: Look into my empty wallet and cry a little. Apparently God doesn't take plastic.
10:26 AM: Consider my options. I could ask a neighbor to borrow money, I could return the supplies and hope they sell Catholic pencils at Target or I could steal the supplies temporarily and smuggle a check in at a later date. I look from the $5.30 on my receipt to my screaming 11-month-old and finally to Jack punching Mia in the stomach and I realize exactly what Jesus would want me to do.
10:27 AM: Slip right past the cashier and out the front door.
10:28 AM: Do my best to remember the act of contrition. Never get past "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," and I'm pretty sure I'm remembering that line from a romance novel not Sunday School.
10:40 AM: Get home, grab popsicles for the kids, write a check for $5.30.
10:43 AM: Walk the check over to my neighbor's house who happens to run the sale and write a quick confession, signing my note "The Catholic School Bandit."
10:44 AM: Pray that my neighbor has a good sense of humor.
10:45 AM: Pray that God has a good sense of humor.
10:46 AM: Remind myself that the God I believe in laughs a lot. Especially when frazzled moms steal school supplies and almost get stabbed at Kindergarten open houses.
10:59 AM: Lose cable, internet and phone in a freak construction accident. Pretty sure it's some kind of divine punishment.
12:35 PM: After 2 hours on the phone with AT&T U-Verse I still don't have cable, but I do have free movie channels for 6 months and $75 off my bill.
12:36 PM: Figure God really wanted me to finally watch Easy A. After all, He always has a bigger plan.
8:30 AM: Wake-up to a full on WWF style wrestling competition in my family room.
8:31 AM: Curse my husband for feeding the kids sugar and then taking off on a business trip.
8:32 AM: Curse even louder when I remember Jack's Kindergarten open house is in an hour and a half.
9:01 AM: Bribe the children into submission and take a quick shower.
9:10 AM: Briefly flirt with the idea of actually blow drying my hair.
9:11 AM: Make eye contact with Ben who immediately starts screaming his head off and twist the whole mess into a bun.
9:28 AM: Ask Jack to turn off the lights down the basement. He laughs in my face and gets exiled to his room amidst many threats of never ever going to Kindergarten and growing up to be illiterate and alone.
9:40 AM: Begin the trek to the Catholic school where Jack is going to be attending Kindergarten.
9:41 AM: Mia complains that her legs hurt and this is the longest walk ever and she HATES Jack's school. I can still see our house and tell her to zip it.
9:42 AM: Remember that I'm the worst Catholic EVER and start sweating. Profusely.
10:02 AM: Arrive at the school. Wonder if anyone has have written a book about a vampire who goes to Catholic school. So. Many. Crosses.
10:07 AM: Finally find Jack's classroom and meet his teachers. They're lovely.
10:09 AM: Hear Jack's voice screaming at Mia like he was using a microphone.
10:10 AM: Realize Jack somehow located and turned on a microphone.
10:11 AM: Whisper-yell at Jack while simultaneously avoiding judgy looks from the other moms.
10:12 AM: Continue making small talk with Jack's teacher while holding Ben and praying that Jack doesn't ask why there's a guy hanging from a cross.
10:13 AM: Feel something sharp on my arm.
10:14 AM: Realize Ben somehow grabbed scissors off the teacher's desk and is now actively trying to stab me with them.
10:15 AM: Figure it's time to cut our losses and get the hell out of Dodge before we get kicked out of the school altogether.
10:16 AM: Jack mumbles goodbye to his teacher while another little boy walks up to her and says, "Hi I'm Charlie O'Malley and I can read."
10:17 AM: Consider stabbing myself with the scissors and putting an end to my mommy guilt forever.
10:18 AM: Remind myself that Catholics really don't approve of suicide and head on up to buy special pencils from the school supply sale.
10:23 AM: Locate the special Catholic pencils and one of the adorable girls working the sale hands me a little receipt and directs me toward the cashier.
10:24 AM: Realize the cashier doesn't accept credit cards.
10:25 AM: Look into my empty wallet and cry a little. Apparently God doesn't take plastic.
10:26 AM: Consider my options. I could ask a neighbor to borrow money, I could return the supplies and hope they sell Catholic pencils at Target or I could steal the supplies temporarily and smuggle a check in at a later date. I look from the $5.30 on my receipt to my screaming 11-month-old and finally to Jack punching Mia in the stomach and I realize exactly what Jesus would want me to do.
10:27 AM: Slip right past the cashier and out the front door.
10:28 AM: Do my best to remember the act of contrition. Never get past "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," and I'm pretty sure I'm remembering that line from a romance novel not Sunday School.
10:40 AM: Get home, grab popsicles for the kids, write a check for $5.30.
10:43 AM: Walk the check over to my neighbor's house who happens to run the sale and write a quick confession, signing my note "The Catholic School Bandit."
10:44 AM: Pray that my neighbor has a good sense of humor.
10:45 AM: Pray that God has a good sense of humor.
10:46 AM: Remind myself that the God I believe in laughs a lot. Especially when frazzled moms steal school supplies and almost get stabbed at Kindergarten open houses.
10:59 AM: Lose cable, internet and phone in a freak construction accident. Pretty sure it's some kind of divine punishment.
12:35 PM: After 2 hours on the phone with AT&T U-Verse I still don't have cable, but I do have free movie channels for 6 months and $75 off my bill.
12:36 PM: Figure God really wanted me to finally watch Easy A. After all, He always has a bigger plan.
August 23, 2011
THANK YOU!
For your amazing comments on yesterday's post. We love the idea of our grandma being sent good thoughts from all over the country and beyond. If that doesn't heal her we don't know what will!
For making WriteOnCon 2011 such a success. Check out our official Thank You here!
For donating and participating in the conference. Don't forget to see if you're a winner!
For voting on The Reading Room Top 5 submissions! Who would YOU give $1000 to?
You guys ROCK.
For making WriteOnCon 2011 such a success. Check out our official Thank You here!
For donating and participating in the conference. Don't forget to see if you're a winner!
For voting on The Reading Room Top 5 submissions! Who would YOU give $1000 to?
You guys ROCK.
August 22, 2011
Sending Out Some Positive Vibes
I'm sure you guys have heard us talk about our amazing grandmother from time-to-time. She reads our blog every single day, says novenas for writing buds who are about to go on submission and sends special saints to our blog friends who are trying to get knocked up. She hand sold our book to unsuspecting senior citizens (and their granddaughters!), wore pink hair to our launch party and lectures us for taking off holidays. She swears, she sends dirty emails and she's the only person on the planet who can successfully boss our mom around.
Oh, and she bakes the most amazing cookies and her homemade spaghetti is pretty much the best thing I've ever tasted in my life.
So, yeah, our Grandmother rocks. But lately she's been feeling a little under the weather and we really, really want her to start feeling better soon. Mostly so she can swear at us and make spaghetti, but also because we love her. If you have a minute leave a comment or send some get well vibes her way.
We love you, Grandma!!! Feel better soon!!!
XOXO,
L&L
Oh, and she bakes the most amazing cookies and her homemade spaghetti is pretty much the best thing I've ever tasted in my life.
So, yeah, our Grandmother rocks. But lately she's been feeling a little under the weather and we really, really want her to start feeling better soon. Mostly so she can swear at us and make spaghetti, but also because we love her. If you have a minute leave a comment or send some get well vibes her way.
We love you, Grandma!!! Feel better soon!!!
XOXO,
L&L
August 18, 2011
EPIC FAIL WINNER!!!!!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS Karen Akins!!!! You've won a SIGNED copy of EPIC FAIL by Claire LaZebnik! Woohoo! Email us with your address and you can get reading!
August 16, 2011
Looking for us????
We're at WriteOnCon!!!!!!!!!!
Come hang out with us at the one and only writer's conference where unwashed pajamas are de rigueur.
Come hang out with us at the one and only writer's conference where unwashed pajamas are de rigueur.
