S.R. Howen's Blog, page 9
November 2, 2012
Plot bunnies . . . or killer rabbits?
So NaNo has started. The first time I saw that name I heard Robbin Williams from Mork and Mindy Nanaonanao. Yes, I am old, shush, don’t tell anyone. I first did NaNo (National Novel Writing Month) in 2003. It started in 2000 in San Francisco with only a few people involved. By 2003 they had a web site and it spread.
Sort of like a zombie thing, as anyone who has done NaNo knows, this is how you will look at the end of the month, especially if you were not a 2 k a day writer before NaNo.
Around here, on Oct. 31st, we wait for the clock to hit midnight,there is a lot of pacing, coffee drinking, and arguments over who will make the next pot. I pants it, no outline, maybe only a vague idea of what I will write. My daughter had hers planned out this year, she is writing the back story for one of her characters in a finished novel. The non-writers in the house hover nervously, as they know that dishes won’t get done, beds won’t be made, and rarely slept in, coffee will vanish as if it were air. And those of us who do this insane thing, talk a sort of texting short hand for NaNo.
Can you take the dog out? 300 hundred words to go.
When you get coffee, can you make some more? Hell no, a plot bunny bit me.
Do we have any clean spoons? Spoon? What’s a spoon, oh wait, my MC can use that to get out of hole he fell in, thanks!
Is it insane to do this year after year? Maybe, but when you think about it, not really. It’s a little less than 1700 words per day. That really isn’t very many. About 7 standard MS pages. It’s the challenge of making yourself do something that maybe you never did before, finish a novel, write every day, connect with other writers who speak your language. I’ve “won” every year since I did it except one. Last year I did over 160k in one month, we shall see if the muse is kind and the plot bunnies helpful or rabid . . .
Rabbit Poster hereUnless you are a writer, then open arms and welcome plot bunny!
November 1, 2012
Buy it now . . . or after you read the sample.
Due to popular demand, Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time is now available in Ebook format!
You can get it from WCP, Amazon, or B&N
Today's post is an excerpt from the Novel, enjoy! Like my author's page on Facebook, and get in on a contest to win an autographed copy of the print book Thanksgiving week!
She stood up, undid her jeans, and started lowering them as if I were not staring at her like some lusty teenager. I fled the room and shut the door on her seductive form. I stood in the hallway, leaned against the wall with my eyes shut, and tried to still the passion she invoked in me. I knew she didn’t wear a bra; the absent top buttons on her shirt made it obvious. She also didn’t wear any underwear. Not unless they were much lower on her hips than her partly lowered jeans. In all my adult life, I had never felt like this before.
“You could have her. Take her,” the elk-man’s voice echoed.
“You’ve been too long without a wife,” my grandfather said.
“Leave me alone,” I said, as much to the elk-man voice as to my grandfather.
“You have been too long without a wife,” my grandfather repeated. “Even I remember what it was like to be that ready for a woman.”
I tried to yank my shirt down farther before I opened my eyes to tell him to mind his own business. I got a good view of his back as he went into the guest room. The door shut with a firm thump. The sound of the lock turning made me shake my head.
My grandfather was at his exasperating best. Later, he would wander out of there to raid the refrigerator for whatever he could find. I went into the kitchen and put the teakettle on the stove. The burner lit with a faint whoosh, and I experienced a flash of the medicine dances I’d attended in my youth. The tribal medicine man would throw fine sulfur dust into the fire to make it do the same thing. A grand show, as was everything medicine men did. None of their tricks had worked for my father.
My father, being a firm believer in the old ways, would’nt seek out modern medicine past the point of being told he had terminal cancer. He wouldn’t even consider modern healing mixed with the old beliefs. My own mother turned her back on me after he died.
The teapot shrilled, and Morning Dove’s voice came from the doorway. “I am very tired.”
I took a mug from the shelf above the sink. From a different cupboard, I took down the box of nighttime tea I kept there. I added water and tea to the mug and watched the steam for a moment, before I held it out to her.
“It will help you sleep,” I said when she just looked at the cup.
“I have had enough white-man’s medicines put into me already.” Her eyes flashed with what I took for humor.
“This is a mixture of natural herbs, no preservatives, no artificial colorings, no caffeine. . . ”
With a smile, she took the cup. Her fingers brushed against mine, sending an electric chill along my nerves. I led the way to my study and turned on the gas fireplace. Morning Dove went to the thick sheepskin rug in front of it and sat down. While she sipped the tea, I went to the closet and retrieved a pillow and some blankets. I paused with them in hand to watch her. She sat in the terry robe and held the mug in both hands. She took a small sip and stared into the fire.
Her hair hung down over the robes back in a glimmering wet curtain. One corner of the robe slipped down to reveal her shoulder. I wanted to sink to the floor and wrap myself around her. With a grunt, I pulled myself away from thoughts of intimacy with her. I covered the couch with a sheet and punched the pillow a few times--to fluff it.
The gate buzzer sounded loudly in the silent room. What nut would be out on a night like this unless they had to be? I pulled the door to the study shut and went to answer the gate intercom.
No one answered. When I turned away from it, thinking the storm had made it go off, it buzzed again. Loud and insistent. I jabbed the button.
“Who’s there?”
I heard nothing in return except the thunder rumbling overhead. I pulled open the front door. Down the drive, through the sheets of rain, it looked like a set of round headlights on the other side of the gate. My brother’s Jeep?
I reached back inside and pushed the button to open the gate.
Lightening cracked so bright I couldn’t see for a moment. I blinked back the brightness, tried to blink it away again.
It didn’t help. The deer filling my driveway didn’t go away. They ran past the house in a steady stream, an entire herd. Where had they come from? The drums sounded behind me.
You can get it from WCP, Amazon, or B&N
Today's post is an excerpt from the Novel, enjoy! Like my author's page on Facebook, and get in on a contest to win an autographed copy of the print book Thanksgiving week!
She stood up, undid her jeans, and started lowering them as if I were not staring at her like some lusty teenager. I fled the room and shut the door on her seductive form. I stood in the hallway, leaned against the wall with my eyes shut, and tried to still the passion she invoked in me. I knew she didn’t wear a bra; the absent top buttons on her shirt made it obvious. She also didn’t wear any underwear. Not unless they were much lower on her hips than her partly lowered jeans. In all my adult life, I had never felt like this before.
“You could have her. Take her,” the elk-man’s voice echoed.
“You’ve been too long without a wife,” my grandfather said.
“Leave me alone,” I said, as much to the elk-man voice as to my grandfather.
“You have been too long without a wife,” my grandfather repeated. “Even I remember what it was like to be that ready for a woman.”
I tried to yank my shirt down farther before I opened my eyes to tell him to mind his own business. I got a good view of his back as he went into the guest room. The door shut with a firm thump. The sound of the lock turning made me shake my head.
My grandfather was at his exasperating best. Later, he would wander out of there to raid the refrigerator for whatever he could find. I went into the kitchen and put the teakettle on the stove. The burner lit with a faint whoosh, and I experienced a flash of the medicine dances I’d attended in my youth. The tribal medicine man would throw fine sulfur dust into the fire to make it do the same thing. A grand show, as was everything medicine men did. None of their tricks had worked for my father.
My father, being a firm believer in the old ways, would’nt seek out modern medicine past the point of being told he had terminal cancer. He wouldn’t even consider modern healing mixed with the old beliefs. My own mother turned her back on me after he died.
The teapot shrilled, and Morning Dove’s voice came from the doorway. “I am very tired.”
I took a mug from the shelf above the sink. From a different cupboard, I took down the box of nighttime tea I kept there. I added water and tea to the mug and watched the steam for a moment, before I held it out to her.
“It will help you sleep,” I said when she just looked at the cup.
“I have had enough white-man’s medicines put into me already.” Her eyes flashed with what I took for humor.
“This is a mixture of natural herbs, no preservatives, no artificial colorings, no caffeine. . . ”
With a smile, she took the cup. Her fingers brushed against mine, sending an electric chill along my nerves. I led the way to my study and turned on the gas fireplace. Morning Dove went to the thick sheepskin rug in front of it and sat down. While she sipped the tea, I went to the closet and retrieved a pillow and some blankets. I paused with them in hand to watch her. She sat in the terry robe and held the mug in both hands. She took a small sip and stared into the fire.
Her hair hung down over the robes back in a glimmering wet curtain. One corner of the robe slipped down to reveal her shoulder. I wanted to sink to the floor and wrap myself around her. With a grunt, I pulled myself away from thoughts of intimacy with her. I covered the couch with a sheet and punched the pillow a few times--to fluff it.
The gate buzzer sounded loudly in the silent room. What nut would be out on a night like this unless they had to be? I pulled the door to the study shut and went to answer the gate intercom.
No one answered. When I turned away from it, thinking the storm had made it go off, it buzzed again. Loud and insistent. I jabbed the button.
“Who’s there?”
I heard nothing in return except the thunder rumbling overhead. I pulled open the front door. Down the drive, through the sheets of rain, it looked like a set of round headlights on the other side of the gate. My brother’s Jeep?
I reached back inside and pushed the button to open the gate.
Lightening cracked so bright I couldn’t see for a moment. I blinked back the brightness, tried to blink it away again.
It didn’t help. The deer filling my driveway didn’t go away. They ran past the house in a steady stream, an entire herd. Where had they come from? The drums sounded behind me.
October 25, 2012
Burning questions . . . or zombie cows?
This month's prompt for the AW blog chain:
Otherworldly
Ghouls, ghost and things that go bump in the night. Old Hallows Eve, Dia de los Muertos and Halloween. October is the month where the veil between our world and the Other thins. So this month is about those things beyond our world, be they scary, funny or anything in between. Write wherever the prompt inspires you,fiction or non-fiction, prose or poetry.
For some reason my DVR decided I do not need to watch The Walking Dead this season. I sat down the other night to get caught up on the first two episodes. As I head to the bottom of my list, I see that The Talking Dead has recorded twice. Who knew the dead could talk, and not just the air escaping as the body decomposes!
I get to the bottom of the list and, hey, don’t you think there should be more programs that start with W, X, Y or Z so that The Walking Dead isn’t at the bottom, and why isn’t it up there with the other T shows? THE Walking Dead? Anyway, I kept thinking something was wrong with the remote—why wouldn’t the list scroll down so I could get to it?
It wasn’t the remote. It didn’t record. I was seriously upset, zombie half rotted away, crawling across the city park upset, reallllyyyy???
Okay, not that upset, but it did merit a, well, shit. So I took some time and set up the episodes to record at a different time. Isn’t it nice that you can now watch your favorite TV shows six times in one day, the same episode? The land of zombie TV.
I did catch a little of the Talking Dead, it’s listed under the T’s for THE Talking Dead. I think I’d like to be on that show, or at least have the time to call in.
Here’s what I’d ask - - -
Why don’t zombies eat each other? Isn’t this a logical question? I mean they are mindless creatures ravaging the land for unsuspecting humans to eat, or a cow peacefully munching grass, or a deer, or a squirrel, or Uncle Dave’s boot—so why don’t they eat each other? Maybe zombies don’t taste good to other zombies?How do zombies survive the winter? Obviously they don’t have circulation, or go to LL Bean and buy some winter gear, so how is it they don’t freeze to death—umm, err, freeze into a zombie ice pop?Why after the zombie apocalypse are the houses boarded up, cars scattered everywhere, papers flying around, but the grass is short? All the grass in any of the towns is like it was mowed yesterday. Trees and weeds have not started growing in the streets and gutters—how can this be? Perhaps the virus that started it was caused by overuse of Round-Up? Are there zombie goats and cows we never see?Why don’t they use flame throwers to kill them? I know if I was going to kill a zombie I’d want it to be a long distance kill. I guess flame throwers just aren’t as bad ass as using a sword or a machete. Take that, and I was in no danger at all, just doesn’t have the needed drama.
I have other questions as well, but I just remembered, I think I have AMC on demand . . . .
Flammenwerfer contributed by a blog reader!Thank you! Thea
Participants and posts:
Check these posts out!
Ralph Pines: http://ralfast.wordpress.com (post link here)
randi.lee: http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com (post link here)
Aranenvo: http://www.simonpclark.com (post link here)
pyrosama: http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com (post link here)
hilaryjacques: http://hillaryjacques.blogspot.com (post link here)
meowzbark: http://erlessard.wordpress.com (post link here)
slcboston: http://fleasof1000camels.blogspot.com (post link here)
areteus: http://lurkingmusings.wordpress.com (post link here)
dolores haze: http://dianedooley.wordpress.com (post link here)
SuzanneSeese: http://viewofsue.blogspot.com (post link here)
Orion mk3: http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (post link here)
Linda Adams: http://garridon.wordpress.com (post link here)
Alynza: http://www.alynzasmith.blogspot.com (post link here)
BBBurke: http://awritersprogression.blogspot.com (post link here)
wonderactivist: http://luciesmoker.wordpress.com (post link here)
Damian Rucci: http://thegraypen.wordpress.com (post link here)
CJMichaels: http://christinajmichaels.blogspot.com (post link here)
Lady Cat: http://carolsrandomness.blogspot.ca (post link here)
xcomplex: http://arielemerald.blogspot.com (post link here)
debranneelliot: http://www.debragrayelliott.blogspot.com (post link here)
bearilou: http://theglassopossum.wordpress.com (post link here)
bmadsen: http://hospitaloflife.wordpress.com (post link here)
SRHowen: http://srhowen1.blogspot.com (post link here)
October 23, 2012
Week 18 of the next big blog hop . . .
Week 18: THE NEXT BIG THING BLOG HOP “The past few years have been full of high profile reads. from Twilight to 50 Shades of Gray, Love um or hate um, you have to admit you have at least heardof them.
As Independent Authors we all dare to dream we will be next runaway best seller, and, well, let’s face it, you never know ... right?
With that thought I jumped on this Hop. What is a blog hop? Well I didn’t know until I asked.
Basically, it’s an Independent Authors game of tag.
One author posts, and then tags five other authors, who each link back to them. Exponentially, it is a marketing gold mine, and you my fair reader have hopefully just increased your “to read list.” Finding new and exciting authors you may never have found otherwise. Some of us are still writing, others are just being released. Either way, for Fiction Lovers, a treasure trove awaits and I’d like to thank fellow author S.I. Hayes for tagging me to participate.”
Click the links to find out about S.I Hayes’ books.
Twitter @shannonihayes
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/S.I.Hayes.Author
Blog: A Writer’s Mind, More or Lesshttp://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6439607.S_I_Hayes/blog
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/s.i.hayes
“In this particular hop I and my fellow authors, each in their perspective Blogs, have answered 10 questions where you get to learn about our current WIP (Works in Progress) as well as some goodies as to our process, from characters and inspirations to photographic/ Cinematic eye candy! I hope you enjoy it.If this or any other items pique your interest, please feel free to comment and share your thoughts and questions.”
HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS
1: What is the working title of your book?
My most current release is Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time.
2: Where did the idea come from for the book?
I get ideas everywhere, in the case of this book reading some Americana Indian myths and then a visit to a local park in Fond du Lac, WI brought the idea on. At the time I was at a stage in my life that made me realize a number of truths about being who I am. I passed these ideas and revelations on to my main character.
3: What genre does your book fall under?
Supernatural mysticism/horror with an underling romance.
4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Tatanka Means as Shannon Running Deer the male MC
Tonantzin Carmelo as Morning Dove the female MC
5: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
I’m going to cheat here and place the blurb for the pre-order page here: Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time
Shannon Running Deer is American Indian by blood, he has forsaken his people's ancient ways to embrace the "modern" world as a wealthy, highly successful trauma surgeon.
His comfortable existence begins to unravel when, seemingly by chance, Shannon finds himself gradually drawn into the past. Pursued by an ancient evil, he knows he can change the future, if he can survive the past.
In the tradition of Diana Gabaldon, S.R. Howen's MEDICINE MAN is a distinctive and atmospheric novel full of spirituality, mystical time travel, passion, and suspense.
You can read an excerpt here:Read Some!~
6: Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Neither, I am publishing through an Independent Publisher, Wild Child Publishing.com
7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
4 months
8: What other books would you compare this story to, within your genre?
Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five with a mix of Anne Rice and Diana Gabaldon
9: Who or What inspired you to write this book?
Sometimes Inspiration comes from nowhere, the blank page is there and the ideas come. I thank my muse. I don’t outline and most times it is as if the characters and their stories already live in my head and are only waiting for me to put fingers to keyboard and let them out.
10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
It has everything, adventure, mysticism, horror, romance, and a literary story of growth and self discovery. I like to call it an adult second coming of age story, that moment when you realize that you are an adult and that you are a product of your past. I think for most people that comes sometime in their 40’s when you find yourself becoming what your parents were. Acceptance, or otherwise, it’s a turning point, immersed in American Indian spirituality, and his own past, the MC makes this journey.
“Below you will find the authors, who will be joining me by blog, Next Wednesday. Do be sure to bookmark them and add them to your calendars for updates on WIPs and New Releases! Happy Writing and Reading.
S.R. Howen”
These are the authors whom I have invited on this blog, please visit their sites and bookmark them to visit them again on Oct 31st.
1 Matt Campbell
Blog: blogbyimagine.weebly.comFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Chosen-of-the-Light/339596115982Twitter: Http://twitter.com/chosen_archon
2 Patricia Yager Delagrange
Blog: www.patriciayagerdelagrange.comMusa link: http://www.musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=150Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Moon-Over-Alcatraz-ebook/dp/B006UJEE3E/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327940072&sr=1-1
3 Husein Taherbhai
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/husein.taherbhai?fref=tsBooks: http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=81&products_id=355
4. Marci Baun
Website: http://marcibaun.com/kit-wylde/Hieroglyphs: http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=84&products_id=314Last Chance: http://www.freyasbower.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=7&products_id=4
5 Bastian Caldwell
Website/blog: Bastiancaldwell.weebly.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/bastiancaldwellOrder link for novel: http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=407
Week 18: THE NEXT BIG THING BLOG HOP “The past few y...
Week 18: THE NEXT BIG THING BLOG HOP “The past few years have been full of high profile reads. from Twilight to 50 Shades of Gray, Love um or hate um, you have to admit you have at least heardof them.
As Independent Authors we all dare to dream we will be next runaway best seller, and, well, let’s face it, you never know ... right?
With that thought I jumped on this Hop. What is a blog hop? Well I didn’t know until I asked.
Basically, it’s an Independent Authors game of tag.
One author posts, and then tags five other authors, who each link back to them. Exponentially, it is a marketing gold mine, and you my fair reader have hopefully just increased your “to read list.” Finding new and exciting authors you may never have found otherwise. Some of us are still writing, others are just being released. Either way, for Fiction Lovers, a treasure trove awaits and I’d like to thank fellow author S.I. Hayes for tagging me to participate.”
Click the links to find out about S.I Hayes’ books.
Twitter @shannonihayes
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/S.I.Hayes.Author
Blog: A Writer’s Mind, More or Lesshttp://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6439607.S_I_Hayes/blog
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/s.i.hayes
“In this particular hop I and my fellow authors, each in their perspective Blogs, have answered 10 questions where you get to learn about our current WIP (Works in Progress) as well as some goodies as to our process, from characters and inspirations to photographic/ Cinematic eye candy! I hope you enjoy it.If this or any other items pique your interest, please feel free to comment and share your thoughts and questions.”
HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS
1: What is the working title of your book?
My most current release is Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time.
2: Where did the idea come from for the book?
I get ideas everywhere, in the case of this book reading some Americana Indian myths and then a visit to a local park in Fond du Lac, WI brought the idea on. At the time I was at a stage in my life that made me realize a number of truths about being who I am. I passed these ideas and revelations on to my main character.
3: What genre does your book fall under?
Supernatural mysticism/horror with an underling romance.
4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Tatanka Means as Shannon Running Deer the male MC
Tonantzin Carmelo as Morning Dove the female MC
5: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
I’m going to cheat here and place the blurb for the pre-order page here: Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time
Shannon Running Deer is American Indian by blood, he has forsaken his people's ancient ways to embrace the "modern" world as a wealthy, highly successful trauma surgeon.
His comfortable existence begins to unravel when, seemingly by chance, Shannon finds himself gradually drawn into the past. Pursued by an ancient evil, he knows he can change the future, if he can survive the past.
In the tradition of Diana Gabaldon, S.R. Howen's MEDICINE MAN is a distinctive and atmospheric novel full of spirituality, mystical time travel, passion, and suspense.
You can read an excerpt here:Read Some!~
6: Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Neither, I am publishing through an Independent Publisher, Wild Child Publishing.com
7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
4 months
8: What other books would you compare this story to, within your genre?
Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five with a mix of Anne Rice and Diana Gabaldon
9: Who or What inspired you to write this book?
Sometimes Inspiration comes from nowhere, the blank page is there and the ideas come. I thank my muse. I don’t outline and most times it is as if the characters and their stories already live in my head and are only waiting for me to put fingers to keyboard and let them out.
10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
It has everything, adventure, mysticism, horror, romance, and a literary story of growth and self discovery. I like to call it an adult second coming of age story, that moment when you realize that you are an adult and that you are a product of your past. I think for most people that comes sometime in their 40’s when you find yourself becoming what your parents were. Acceptance, or otherwise, it’s a turning point, immersed in American Indian spirituality, and his own past, the MC makes this journey.
“Below you will find the authors, who will be joining me by blog, Next Wednesday. Do be sure to bookmark them and add them to your calendars for updates on WIPs and New Releases! Happy Writing and Reading.
S.R. Howen”
These are the authors whom I have invited on this blog, please visit their sites and bookmark them to visit them again on Oct 31st.
1 Matt Campbell
Blog: blogbyimagine.weebly.comFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Chosen-of-the-Light/339596115982Twitter: Http://twitter.com/chosen_archon
2 Patricia Yager Delagrange
Blog: www.patriciayagerdelagrange.comMusa link: http://www.musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=150Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Moon-Over-Alcatraz-ebook/dp/B006UJEE3E/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327940072&sr=1-1
3 Husein Taherbhai
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/husein.taherbhai?fref=tsBooks: http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=81&products_id=355
4. Marci Baun
Website: http://marcibaun.com/kit-wylde/Hieroglyphs: http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=84&products_id=314Last Chance: http://www.freyasbower.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=7&products_id=4
5 Bastian Caldwell
Website/blog: Bastiancaldwell.weebly.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/bastiancaldwellOrder link for novel: http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=407
October 20, 2012
Out of the dryer . . . or find me a coat hanger
Jeans. Blue Jeans. Levis. Good old fashioned Blue Jeans. What ever happened to them? These days it seems that every ad I see for Jeans are not really Jeans at all but stretch pants made to look like jeans. Point one, Jeans don’t snag. Who the heck wants jeans that snag? Yup, I want to go out on a wildlife run and bump a cage against my leg and have little white loops of elastic sticking out of my jeans. Or better yet, get a rip in those suckers and you better hope you are not going commando because they are going to rip faster than paper in shredder—what ever happened to the hole in the jeans that just sorta frayed at the edges? You could write on them if you were bored, slash then across the knee is you were going horseback riding to make knees more comfortable . . .
I miss real jeans that lasted for years and years. Not a few months.
And fur, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the new, flatter your figure, with tummy tuck panel, “jeans” attract fur and lint like crazy. I never needed a lint roller with my old jeans. Brush your hands down them and poof whatever was stuck on them was gone. You could camp for days in one pair of jeans and they still looked good.
Remember lying on the bed so you could zip your jeans? Pass the coat hanger, please, I need to zip my pants. Now you don’t even know what size to get, not just because the sizes have changed, but because you take them out of the dryer and they fit rather nice, but 2 hours later you don’t even need to unbutton them to use the bathroom. How does that slim you? Old jeans hid flaws, you put them on slightly damp and poof a real lasting tummy tuck.
Now, I thought what about men’s jeans, surely they haven’t joined the elastic revolution. (Seriously, how would these things survive a zombie apocalypse?) (Oh, wait, I can’t behead this zombie, my pants just fell down because they get bigger as the day goes on.) Anyway, the men’s department, nothing like a man in 501 button fly jeans—or almost out of them.
And guess what, even a lot of men’s jeans are now touted as having “comfort fabric.”
But I did discover that they still make 501’s. Maybe I’ll just hang out in the men’s department for awhile . . .
October 17, 2012
Medicine Man I: The Chief of All TimeAvailable for p...
Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time Available for pre-order now!E book release Nov. 13th, in print Thanksgiving 2012
Shannon Running Deer is American Indian by blood, he has forsaken his people's ancient ways to embrace the "modern" world as a wealthy, highly successful trauma surgeon.His comfortable existence begins to unravel when, seemingly by chance, Shannon finds himself gradually drawn into the past. Pursued by an ancient evil, he knows he can change the future, if he can survive the past.In the tradition of Diana Gabaldon, S.R. Howen's MEDICINE MAN is a distinctive and atmospheric novel full of spirituality, mystical time travel, romance, passion, and suspense.
Read an excerpt here: Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time Excerpt
October 14, 2012
Que Rod Serling . . . or Dear Diary
Blogs. Web log. Dear diary, I really want to write about all the neat and special stuff that happens to me, but instead of hiding it under my mattress, I want it out there on the web for everyone to see. Isn’t that the truth of it? Blogs (diaries) used to be kept mostly by pre-teen and teen girls. They wrote all those dirty things that they didn’t want mom and dad to know about. And sometimes stupid stuff as well that no one cared about except the person writing it.
Most the blogs I read have to do with writing, book reviews, author interviews, publishing news, agents' sites, trends, and so on. I’m not into the ones that talk about what an awful life someone has, I have enough drama llamas in my own life that I don’t need others. Of course there are those who splash that crap across facebook as well.
Then there are the special people who don’t get their facts right. Mostly I avoid these people. It doesn’t do any good to tell them that they are wrong, even if you have five reputable sources to back you up—they will still stand behind their truth. And then they will have their entire posse wearing sandwhich signs proclaiming their greatness. Look the world is flat! It is only 6000 years old! So I gave up on those as well.
Isn’t that what a blog is, we think that everyone wants to know what we are doing? Wow, look I have 10 people following me! Fantastic, but if I was walking through the mall and 10 people were following me, I might be alerting security. If 10 people were following me and peeking in my windows when I was getting ready to shower – well no wait, they’d be blind now, but at the same time . . . (Que Twighlight music) (NO not that Twighlight) (The Rod Serling type Twighlight music) it would be pretty creepy.
But here we are on the information highway seeking more followers – so like me on facebook, or follow my twitters, or join my site because having people follow me isn’t creepy at all, no not even in the smallest bit . . . .
October 12, 2012
October 9, 2012
Sell me Superman, or a weed-whacker . . .
Late night infomercials. I am a night owl, not even really a night owl, I don’t sleep more than 4 hours a day or night, so I am often drawn to the TV at odd hours. The things they try to sell the late night TV watcher. Clear skin seems to be a big one, get rid of age spots and acne scars . . . Shouldn’t that be, get rid of dark under eye circles? Look awake and refreshed? Seal leaks of all kinds, look we made a boat out of a screen door with this stuff, now available in white, I don’t know about you, but when I am up at 2 AM--I am not thinking of fixing my leaking rain gutters, maybe they should have sold this stuff to the folks on the Titanic? No life boats needed, here grab a can of this stuff and make your own life boat?
And the exercise, or should I say no exercise, gadgets. The magic belt that melts your middle away, the electric shock your muscles into contractions belt . . . maybe that’s how those wrestlers look so good, that belt does resemble the WWF championship belts. If these things worked, everyone in America would have a 20 inch waist for 3 payments of only $39.95, plus shipping of course.
Then there are the endless ones for weed whackers. I don’t know about you, but unless you are my weird neighbor, I’m not thinking about yard work at 2 AM either. The one I saw last night featured this disk with several strands of line on it, looked like a modern rendition of the cat-o-nine tails--circular style. The claim is these strands will never break, (but they do include a life time supply of them) they cut a board with them, then they cut a can with them, and chop a chunk out of a block of concrete with this thing. Okay. Yessss, sir, Bob, that will cut any blade of grass in the world!
Wait? It cuts bricks, concrete, wood, and metal?
I don’t know about you, but I rarely use my weedwhacker in the middle of the yard with only other deadly blades of grass around. I want to use this by my walk way—my concrete walkway. Or around my shed—my wood shed. Or around and along the bottom of my fence—my metal chain link fence. I want to use it around my planter boxes—my brick planter boxes.
Anyone see an issue here? Maybe they should include this in every fireman’s rescue kit, right there next to the jaws of life. It cuts through anything! And the people using it, look so happy, they never sweat, or huff and puff, or get stung by bees . . .
Pass the remote—next infomercial please.
