S.K.S. Perry's Blog, page 5

Still rooting for the zombies.

I find our fascination with the fantasy of a Zombie Apocalypse intriguing. We've all seen the internet memes. Eg:

The hardest part about a zombie apocalypse will be pretending I'm not excited.

Let's face it, who wouldn't want the opportunity to shoot their boss in the face--because we all know that moron is likely to be one of the first ones infected. Other than that though, what's the allure?

Is it that our society has become so complex and so restrictive that we might actually prefer the simplicity? In our zombie utopia there's only one rule:

Find food; don't be food.

You don't have to worry about things like where are you going to get the money to get the brakes fixed on your car, or how are you going to pay your mortgage, or how much longer can you go on working in a soul crushing job, accomplishing nothing and never getting ahead, before you shoot your boss in the face. (Zombie or not.) You don't have to worry about your neighbours telling you that you can't paint your garage door green because it doesn't match the aesthetics of the neighbourhood, or the city denying you a permit to build a deck, or the cop pulling you over because you came to a rolling stop even though there wasn't another car around for miles. No one's going to tell you that you can't help defend against a horde of zombies because you're gay, or black, or a woman, or physically handicapped.


Of course most of us have an inflated sense of our own chances of survival. We're the same deluded fools who are convinced we would thrive on Avatar's Pandora, where virtually everything is designed to kill you.

But hey, at least the Na'vi don't pay taxes.

Author Problem #241

I am secretly worried that the response to my submission to Harper Voyager somehow got lost in my Spam Mail. "Dear Steve, sorry but your book is not right for us at this time--however, we can make your penis larger!"

Still here...sort of, kind of, almost, in a way.

Sorry I haven't posted much lately, but seriously, most everything I have to talk about lately would only sound like whining and no one needs to hear that.

Bad news comes in eleventy-fours.

So an agent I queried almost a year ago was going through her inbox this 4th of July weekend and found my query misfiled. I guess she thought she'd start of the holidays by crushing an author's dreams.

Seriously, though, at least they bothered to reply (and politely too, I might add.)

Not a recruit--still dumb.

Me (Just after the Change of Command parade this morning): Private, can I have a word with you?

Pte: Yes, Sergeant.

Me: For future reference, just before the padre is about to give the benediction and the order to "Remove Head Dress" is given? Your wedge is held over your heart, not your dick. Got it?

Pte: Yes, Sergeant.

Me: Good. Carry on.

Neener Neener!

Dear Reader,

Most of you can't compose an entire sentence without a spelling error, so if you happen to find a few in my 110,000 word self-published novel I hope you'll forgive me. Seriously, the fact that you found an instance where I used "it's" instead of "its" out of the 7000 times I used it in this manuscript doesn't mean I don't know the difference. Hey, maybe if you paid the measly $2.99 for my novel instead of downloading it off that pirate site for free I could afford a copy editor. So, on behalf of all self-published indie authors out there, Bite Me!™

(P.S. If you do happen to notice the odd typo, please forward it to me so I can correct it in the next edition.) :p

Harper Voyager Submissions Update

I submitted my heroic fantasy THE MOONLIGHT WAR to the Harper Voyager submissions thingy back in October. According to them they received 4543 submissions. As of yesterday they have sent out 3595 rejections and have marked 948 for further review. I guess that puts me in the "further review" category. (I've been checking my email and junk folder religiously.) So fingers crossed.

I'm an adult now.

I was going to update this post, but decided my time would be better served actually--you know--working on DARKSIDE: DAMNED IF YOU DO.

Sorry.

Transitions

After 30 years of service, today is my last day of full-time employment with the Canadian Armed Forces—although I will officially be paid until the end of the month. Thanks to Gov't and Military budget cuts, beginning 1 April I will revert to part-time service. While still considered a member of the military and therefore subject to military discipline, orders, rules and regulations, I will only be employed (and thus paid) for 12 days a month, vice 30-31, effectively cutting my annual salary to slightly less than half. That and the lack of benefits (dental, medical) should make the transition interesting, to say the least. (I have to find a doctor!)

Oddly enough, I'm rather looking forward to this. While money will be tight, it's manageable, and there's a certain appeal to only working every other week or so. I can devote more time to my writing, and hopefully I can complete the several half-finished novels I currently have on the go.

And you know the old saying: God never closes a door, he slams it shut. (Wait, that doesn't sound right.)

Sometimes we get exactly what we need, just when we need it.

Yesterday's fan mail came at just the right time. I was at that point (again) where I wonder why I bother writing. It certainly isn't for the money. I'm sure I'm the only writer who's ever felt this way, but just in case there's another one of you out there wondering why bother, here's the fan letter (with the author's permission):

Hi Mr. Perry,

I just wanted to thank you again for writing Darkside and Darkside 2. I sampled them several years ago, over 6 to be exact, online—and you sent me .pdf's to my email then as well…I have kept them, and read them several times—but just recently found that you were on amazon, so I bought and downloaded the two books to my kindle…to support you just because…

Anyway—I'm sure you get this a lot, but life is just friggin tough sometimes…and I've had a particularly rough patch lately—and these books have just let me drift away in comfort. I love them. I know them, and the characters…and they make me feel better. I have re-read these books probably 6 or 7 times now, and they never get old.

I was just catching up on your journal, and I hope you are still writing. You have such talent. I wish I could do more than just buy your books, but alas I am not that important or that inclined, but I do so enjoy your writing. I'm just a 45 year old dad, trying to get by…and your books help.

Thank you for your books, sir. You are appreciated.

I have no illusions about my writing. I know I'm not writing WAR AND PEACE. All I've ever strived for in my work is to be entertaining. Even if I had never made a cent from my writing, this letter proves it was all worth it.

So keep writing. You never know how your work touches those who read it.