Aleksandr Voinov's Blog: Letters from the Front, page 36
December 21, 2010
Hiring a pro
One of the reasons why I want a bigger pay cheque (apart from paying off my house in less than 30 years, investing some money on the stock market, and wearing tailored suits) is that I want to be able to afford hiring a pro to look at my novels.
I have the good fortune to know a lot of excellent people, and many of these are making their way as writers and editors and freelancers in a field that is even more money-sensitive these days because competition is so high. If you've ever tried to charge writers for teaching them, you'd know what I mean. The people that start out writing don't have the cash. The people that have the cash are not necessarily the most talented. I do some of that work, and most writers fall back on other writers. "Find my typos and I find yours" is an accepted form of mutual help in writing circles (I wish corporate drones were as helpful as well-adjusted writers).
But sometimes, you get stuck on your own stuff. You get a lot of advice. Some people think a novel works, some think it doesn't. You've re-written it fifteen times. You're tired of it. No, you're so sick and nauseated when you're just THINKING about re-working that novel again, you've heard "you're a great writer, but that thing... just doesn't work", or "how dare you send this piece of suicide, drugs and irresponsible unsafe sex to US, you BEAST!", or "great character story, now where's the thriller you promised me?"
In one word, you have novel fatigue. It's not tiredness. It's not being without inspiration or drained. I think it might be closest to chronic fatigue syndrome. Just thinking about opening the file causes an immediate feeling of "I don't want to live anymore." Suddenly, taking up golf, or knitting, or cave diving become tantalizing prospects. Everything but open that file.
There's a project I feel like that about. I reached out to a pro for help. She quoted me a price, saying she was aware it was high and that she wouldn't mind if I pulled back and and all.
The money? Less than I make in a week, net. A bit more than I spend on food per month (can you tell I'm a cheap date?). I want to spend it so I know what the fuck is wrong with this book and how can I fix it. I want this off my plate. Getting rid of it - that is, getting it published - will be like therapy. It's a book that's been sticking in my throat like a bone. As nasty a feeling as an inflamed root of a tooth.
The book's been sticking around for 2 years now. I just want it gone. I don't even need a big contract for it. I just want to see it gone. I'll likely end up self-publishing it. So whatever I spend on it I'll likely never recover.
Doesn't matter.
Big reason for changing jobs? So I can afford to hire a pro. So I can put money in the pocket of good people, and acquire the help I need, and it won't break the bank. I just need an authoritative voice, a "definite" opinion of somebody I trust and who knows the market. And somebody who can answer questions I have about the book.
Might be one of the best deals I'll ever make.
I have the good fortune to know a lot of excellent people, and many of these are making their way as writers and editors and freelancers in a field that is even more money-sensitive these days because competition is so high. If you've ever tried to charge writers for teaching them, you'd know what I mean. The people that start out writing don't have the cash. The people that have the cash are not necessarily the most talented. I do some of that work, and most writers fall back on other writers. "Find my typos and I find yours" is an accepted form of mutual help in writing circles (I wish corporate drones were as helpful as well-adjusted writers).
But sometimes, you get stuck on your own stuff. You get a lot of advice. Some people think a novel works, some think it doesn't. You've re-written it fifteen times. You're tired of it. No, you're so sick and nauseated when you're just THINKING about re-working that novel again, you've heard "you're a great writer, but that thing... just doesn't work", or "how dare you send this piece of suicide, drugs and irresponsible unsafe sex to US, you BEAST!", or "great character story, now where's the thriller you promised me?"
In one word, you have novel fatigue. It's not tiredness. It's not being without inspiration or drained. I think it might be closest to chronic fatigue syndrome. Just thinking about opening the file causes an immediate feeling of "I don't want to live anymore." Suddenly, taking up golf, or knitting, or cave diving become tantalizing prospects. Everything but open that file.
There's a project I feel like that about. I reached out to a pro for help. She quoted me a price, saying she was aware it was high and that she wouldn't mind if I pulled back and and all.
The money? Less than I make in a week, net. A bit more than I spend on food per month (can you tell I'm a cheap date?). I want to spend it so I know what the fuck is wrong with this book and how can I fix it. I want this off my plate. Getting rid of it - that is, getting it published - will be like therapy. It's a book that's been sticking in my throat like a bone. As nasty a feeling as an inflamed root of a tooth.
The book's been sticking around for 2 years now. I just want it gone. I don't even need a big contract for it. I just want to see it gone. I'll likely end up self-publishing it. So whatever I spend on it I'll likely never recover.
Doesn't matter.
Big reason for changing jobs? So I can afford to hire a pro. So I can put money in the pocket of good people, and acquire the help I need, and it won't break the bank. I just need an authoritative voice, a "definite" opinion of somebody I trust and who knows the market. And somebody who can answer questions I have about the book.
Might be one of the best deals I'll ever make.
December 19, 2010
Sleepy weekend
As of today, all Christmas presents are bought and sent, and the ones that aren't sent are ready to be wrapped. I still think they are lame - this year I just didn't have any inspiration. That's when I get to the point of "Christmas shopping sucks anyway", and all the things that seemed interesting are just "stuff" that you drag home. Better save the money. I'm just not getting excited about "stuff" anymore.
Maybe books - but I have piles of books that I might never find the time to read. There's a more adult version of gifts creeping in, too. Useful stuff. Household stuff. Gifts like mixers and new toasters and such.
On a positive note, my tax return has arrived - the tax I have to pay on my creative writing endeavours amounts to pocket money. Next year will be "worse". I better rack up some serious expenses to put against that.
I've written around 1,000 words on "Scorpion 2", which I'll call "Lying with Scorpions". I have no idea where things are going there, and it's moving very slowly, but at least I have written and might be able to write some more today.
Otherwise, I caught up with what felt like an enormous sleep deficit. I can't wait for the days to get longer again.
Leaving drinks was emotional. I'm always ill at ease during such social work get-togethers that involve alcohol. I managed to bow out due to the snow. There was a possibility that trains might not run if the snow got worse in Kent, so I made my escape. Tomorrow starts the last week on the job. Then about ten days of doing nothing (aka: writing), and then I'm off to the bank. And then I'll look into investing quite seriously.
Maybe books - but I have piles of books that I might never find the time to read. There's a more adult version of gifts creeping in, too. Useful stuff. Household stuff. Gifts like mixers and new toasters and such.
On a positive note, my tax return has arrived - the tax I have to pay on my creative writing endeavours amounts to pocket money. Next year will be "worse". I better rack up some serious expenses to put against that.
I've written around 1,000 words on "Scorpion 2", which I'll call "Lying with Scorpions". I have no idea where things are going there, and it's moving very slowly, but at least I have written and might be able to write some more today.
Otherwise, I caught up with what felt like an enormous sleep deficit. I can't wait for the days to get longer again.
Leaving drinks was emotional. I'm always ill at ease during such social work get-togethers that involve alcohol. I managed to bow out due to the snow. There was a possibility that trains might not run if the snow got worse in Kent, so I made my escape. Tomorrow starts the last week on the job. Then about ten days of doing nothing (aka: writing), and then I'm off to the bank. And then I'll look into investing quite seriously.
December 15, 2010
More Amazon stuff
Well, it looks like "Blood Run Cold" can be found in the Amazon store. The direct link works. I tried to find it it at Amazon's Kindle store and it didn't show up - but then, Amazon was being attacked by Anonymous (good work, guys), so maybe their systems were screwy... I don't know. And I'm a little tired having to check every release if it can still be found. Three people told me the book can be found, I can access a direct link, and in the meantime I hope people buy direct from eXcessica.
The case of Amos Lassen has turned into what Germans call a "Schmierenkomoedie" (dirty/filthy comedy). At Jesse Wave's blog, Lassen's detractors have made their case. The whole thing is interesting to read.
Here's the link to the relevant forum on Amazon.
Whatever it is, it's not a hate crime (I studied enough law to know that), and the evidence collected is pretty damning. I've dealt in my job with a plagiariser (freelancer who committed some pretty outrageous thought-theft, which I thankfully caught before that story became the cover story of the mag) - and the evidence there was a lot more sparse. Occam's razor seems to cut against the outlandish claims made by one side. I'll let you decide which one.
An interesting case study, in any case.
Went to a press conference today and enjoyed myself. I do like those press breakfasts, even if I don't care much about what it's about. I may enjoy myself *more* because it'll be over soon and writing a quick 900 word account of the press briefing feels like writing.
Writing, in general, continues at a snail's pace. Christmas vacation should bring the turnaround there.
The case of Amos Lassen has turned into what Germans call a "Schmierenkomoedie" (dirty/filthy comedy). At Jesse Wave's blog, Lassen's detractors have made their case. The whole thing is interesting to read.
Here's the link to the relevant forum on Amazon.
Whatever it is, it's not a hate crime (I studied enough law to know that), and the evidence collected is pretty damning. I've dealt in my job with a plagiariser (freelancer who committed some pretty outrageous thought-theft, which I thankfully caught before that story became the cover story of the mag) - and the evidence there was a lot more sparse. Occam's razor seems to cut against the outlandish claims made by one side. I'll let you decide which one.
An interesting case study, in any case.
Went to a press conference today and enjoyed myself. I do like those press breakfasts, even if I don't care much about what it's about. I may enjoy myself *more* because it'll be over soon and writing a quick 900 word account of the press briefing feels like writing.
Writing, in general, continues at a snail's pace. Christmas vacation should bring the turnaround there.
December 13, 2010
Amazon censors me (again)
AmazonFAIL is back. Remember when Amazon thought removing GLBTQ titles from its catalogues was protecting its customers from seeing all the icky aberrant sex that we perverts get up to? Then claimed it was a "glitch" and rowed back, not - to this day - apologizing for its idiocy and attempt to censor what you guys can read.
Yeah, Jeff, up yours, too.
Well, Amazon is at it again.
It now censors incest. Get the full story here.
Now, we're talking about a book seller than carries (and profits from!) a huge amount of bestiality porn on its catalogue and first babbles about first amendment, and then pulls the pedo guide. (I'm not saying "how to be a successful pedophile" guides should be protected!).
Fact is, we're talking erotica. Like it or not, rape, incest, D/s, slavery, even mutilation... are kinks. Not necessarily my kinks. But these are sexual fantasies. Nobody is being degraded, exploited or harmed when we feed erotic fantasies.
Incidentally, "Blood Run Cold" is gone from the Kindle store ever since Jeff decided Selena Kitt's and some other books by eXcessica authors wouldn't be carried.
Now, everybody who's read "Blood Run Cold" knows there's some hinted sex between two very old vampires, who are brother and sister. We didn't dwell on it. It's not central to the story. No orgasms on camera.
There's also some rape (non-sexy) and some pretty harsh dub-con (aka: dubious consent). That's it. As far as vampire BDSM goes, this is pretty tame.
But hey, I'm not surprised by Amazon anymore. There was AmazonFAIL, and one of the premier reviewers of GLBTQ literature, Amos Lassen, has been through the wringer as he's seen his work destroyed by Amazon which believed those who were jealous of his rank as a top reviewer. His FIVE THOUSAND reviews have been deleted without so much as a "by your leave".
Why is this important? Our books struggle to get reviewed at all. Reviews on Amazon mean visibility (and visibility means not only sales, but a bigger chance for us to reach our readers). Amos wrote a very insightful review of "Clean Slate", which is now gone.
I'm spending thousands of euros/dollars/pounds at Amazon. I'll halt my purchases until the situation is remedied. I'll go shopping at the Book Depository, which has free worldwide delivery and a less ham-fisted approach of hitting its customers in the face.
And I'm pleased that this post will appear on my author pages on Amazon.com.
Yeah, Jeff, up yours, too.
Well, Amazon is at it again.
It now censors incest. Get the full story here.
Now, we're talking about a book seller than carries (and profits from!) a huge amount of bestiality porn on its catalogue and first babbles about first amendment, and then pulls the pedo guide. (I'm not saying "how to be a successful pedophile" guides should be protected!).
Fact is, we're talking erotica. Like it or not, rape, incest, D/s, slavery, even mutilation... are kinks. Not necessarily my kinks. But these are sexual fantasies. Nobody is being degraded, exploited or harmed when we feed erotic fantasies.
Incidentally, "Blood Run Cold" is gone from the Kindle store ever since Jeff decided Selena Kitt's and some other books by eXcessica authors wouldn't be carried.
Now, everybody who's read "Blood Run Cold" knows there's some hinted sex between two very old vampires, who are brother and sister. We didn't dwell on it. It's not central to the story. No orgasms on camera.
There's also some rape (non-sexy) and some pretty harsh dub-con (aka: dubious consent). That's it. As far as vampire BDSM goes, this is pretty tame.
But hey, I'm not surprised by Amazon anymore. There was AmazonFAIL, and one of the premier reviewers of GLBTQ literature, Amos Lassen, has been through the wringer as he's seen his work destroyed by Amazon which believed those who were jealous of his rank as a top reviewer. His FIVE THOUSAND reviews have been deleted without so much as a "by your leave".
Why is this important? Our books struggle to get reviewed at all. Reviews on Amazon mean visibility (and visibility means not only sales, but a bigger chance for us to reach our readers). Amos wrote a very insightful review of "Clean Slate", which is now gone.
I'm spending thousands of euros/dollars/pounds at Amazon. I'll halt my purchases until the situation is remedied. I'll go shopping at the Book Depository, which has free worldwide delivery and a less ham-fisted approach of hitting its customers in the face.
And I'm pleased that this post will appear on my author pages on Amazon.com.
December 12, 2010
Rolling, rolling, rolling
I've just got off the phone with a German writer - former co-writer. (Yeah, I'm still friends with most of them. Really.) We have an idea for a historical series which could rock EXTREMELY hard. (In fact, the idea rocks me already).
We'll sort out an exposee and a premise and an outline by year-end, maybe mid-January. It'll be het, and adventurous historical and more light-hearted than the heavy-going literary historical lit so favoured by the Germans.
It'll mean the m/m writing will slow down in favour of writing something that might actually bring that fame and fortune. (Hah. I wish).
I've been in a writing funk for so long I need an urgent change of tack to get anywhere with the writing. I'll still work on Iron Cross and Scorpion II and all the other good things, but this series will take time. With that co-writer, probably very little time, since she's extremely prolific and a historian herself, but yes, I'll feel the difference.
I hope that gets me out of my funk. I'll keep you updated.
We'll sort out an exposee and a premise and an outline by year-end, maybe mid-January. It'll be het, and adventurous historical and more light-hearted than the heavy-going literary historical lit so favoured by the Germans.
It'll mean the m/m writing will slow down in favour of writing something that might actually bring that fame and fortune. (Hah. I wish).
I've been in a writing funk for so long I need an urgent change of tack to get anywhere with the writing. I'll still work on Iron Cross and Scorpion II and all the other good things, but this series will take time. With that co-writer, probably very little time, since she's extremely prolific and a historian herself, but yes, I'll feel the difference.
I hope that gets me out of my funk. I'll keep you updated.
December 11, 2010
Lots of letters/packets
Today I spent a small fortune to send two hardcover books to New Zealand. Brilliant Christmas present idea for people that live half the world away. Posting them cost more than the gifts. Will have to discuss with my partner that we'll send the DVD rather than the HARDCOVERS next.
The post office was out of padded envelopes for the copies of "First Blood" I'm sending out to the people at Goodreads. Thursday, then.
Then I picked up three packets from the post office across town (yes, you post them in one place and then travel forever to get to the place where you pick them up. Only the Brits could be so ... efficient). One packet was presents for the in-laws (needs to be posted on Thursday). The other was a pile of books for the sequel of "Lion of Kent" and the sequel to "Scorpion". Packet number three came from a dear friend who returned to Germany after a stint in London. German chocolate and licorice - real luxuries. (And salt and bread for the house move) Thank you!
I'm tempted to offer charity fiction for the holidays, but I struggle writing at all. Putting the big Pistol of Guilt on my chest won't actually improve matters at all.
And apparently,
I typed the words "Scorpion: Part 2" into an empty file. Don't get your hopes up. I haven't written further than the dedication page. Let's see where this goes.
The post office was out of padded envelopes for the copies of "First Blood" I'm sending out to the people at Goodreads. Thursday, then.
Then I picked up three packets from the post office across town (yes, you post them in one place and then travel forever to get to the place where you pick them up. Only the Brits could be so ... efficient). One packet was presents for the in-laws (needs to be posted on Thursday). The other was a pile of books for the sequel of "Lion of Kent" and the sequel to "Scorpion". Packet number three came from a dear friend who returned to Germany after a stint in London. German chocolate and licorice - real luxuries. (And salt and bread for the house move) Thank you!
I'm tempted to offer charity fiction for the holidays, but I struggle writing at all. Putting the big Pistol of Guilt on my chest won't actually improve matters at all.
And apparently,
I typed the words "Scorpion: Part 2" into an empty file. Don't get your hopes up. I haven't written further than the dedication page. Let's see where this goes.
Lots of letters/packets
Today I spent a small fortune to send two hardcover books to New Zealand. Brilliant Christmas present idea for people that live half the world away. Posting them cost more than the gifts. Will have to discuss with my partner that we'll send the DVD rather than the HARDCOVERS next.
The post office was out of padded envelopes for the copies of "First Blood" I'm sending out to the people at Goodreads. Thursday, then.
Then I picked up three packets from the post office across town (yes, you post them in one place and then travel forever to get to the place where you pick them up. Only the Brits could be so ... efficient). One packet was presents for the in-laws (needs to be posted on Thursday). The other was a pile of books for the sequel of "Lion of Kent" and the sequel to "Scorpion". Packet number three came from a dear friend who returned to Germany after a stint in London. German chocolate and licorice - real luxuries. (And salt and bread for the house move) Thank you!
The contract from the bank arrived. Wow, I never had a health exam first for a job (okay, that's a lie - I had to be tested negative for tuberculosis when I started freelance teaching - ten years ago or thereabouts). It's an inch-thick stack of paper that all needs to be sorted on Monday.
I'm tempted to offer charity fiction for the holidays, but I struggle writing at all. Putting the big Pistol of Guilt on my chest won't actually improve matters at all.
And apparently,
I typed the words "Scorpion: Part 2" into an empty file. Don't get your hopes up. I haven't written further than the dedication page. Let's see where this goes.
The post office was out of padded envelopes for the copies of "First Blood" I'm sending out to the people at Goodreads. Thursday, then.
Then I picked up three packets from the post office across town (yes, you post them in one place and then travel forever to get to the place where you pick them up. Only the Brits could be so ... efficient). One packet was presents for the in-laws (needs to be posted on Thursday). The other was a pile of books for the sequel of "Lion of Kent" and the sequel to "Scorpion". Packet number three came from a dear friend who returned to Germany after a stint in London. German chocolate and licorice - real luxuries. (And salt and bread for the house move) Thank you!
The contract from the bank arrived. Wow, I never had a health exam first for a job (okay, that's a lie - I had to be tested negative for tuberculosis when I started freelance teaching - ten years ago or thereabouts). It's an inch-thick stack of paper that all needs to be sorted on Monday.
I'm tempted to offer charity fiction for the holidays, but I struggle writing at all. Putting the big Pistol of Guilt on my chest won't actually improve matters at all.
And apparently,
I typed the words "Scorpion: Part 2" into an empty file. Don't get your hopes up. I haven't written further than the dedication page. Let's see where this goes.
December 9, 2010
Round-up
I'm still too busy to write long blog posts, but here's the important stuff:
A friend in need: if you feel like getting a corset, my friends are offering a 50% off deal in order to draw in more business. So not a donation, but a very good deal on a corset. Link here.
"Echoes of the Future" got an honorable mention at Elisa Rolle's Rainbow Awards.
Longer posts when I'm better rested.
A friend in need: if you feel like getting a corset, my friends are offering a 50% off deal in order to draw in more business. So not a donation, but a very good deal on a corset. Link here.
"Echoes of the Future" got an honorable mention at Elisa Rolle's Rainbow Awards.
Longer posts when I'm better rested.
December 7, 2010
New era
I don't want to whine. I have some stuff to whine about - another lesson learnt the absolute worst way, but there objectively nothing to whine about. It's all in my head. Besides, getting the contract for the investment banking job and a start date is very awesome, whatever drop of bitterness might be in my water.
Raev and me got a great review for "Transit" at Jesse Wave. I got anywhere between 3.5 and 4.75 stars at Jesse Wave. This is the first 5 stars review. I never thought I'd see the day, but I did. Wow.
And I just received ANOTHER contract, this time for a book. "Scorpion", my first solo novel in... a while... was accepted by Dreamspinner and should be out at the beginning of May (in time for my birthday, maybe, even).
So. If anybody can explain why things that I've been waiting for for three or five and a half weeks all happen within six hours of each other, I'd like to hear about it. Raev thinks it's the universe trying to mess with my head. I start to agree. Has Mercury come out of retrograde today?
I have to post an entry for Speak Its Name. I have to get the magazine (my final issue) off to press. Much work to be completed. I'll end up running myself ragged, again. But soon is the Xmas break and New Year. There's no year where I've needed it more, to be honest.
Raev and me got a great review for "Transit" at Jesse Wave. I got anywhere between 3.5 and 4.75 stars at Jesse Wave. This is the first 5 stars review. I never thought I'd see the day, but I did. Wow.
And I just received ANOTHER contract, this time for a book. "Scorpion", my first solo novel in... a while... was accepted by Dreamspinner and should be out at the beginning of May (in time for my birthday, maybe, even).
So. If anybody can explain why things that I've been waiting for for three or five and a half weeks all happen within six hours of each other, I'd like to hear about it. Raev thinks it's the universe trying to mess with my head. I start to agree. Has Mercury come out of retrograde today?
I have to post an entry for Speak Its Name. I have to get the magazine (my final issue) off to press. Much work to be completed. I'll end up running myself ragged, again. But soon is the Xmas break and New Year. There's no year where I've needed it more, to be honest.
December 3, 2010
Book giveaways
Okay, 'tis the season, and I've been remarkable remiss in my "duty" to "promote" books. It's not that I don't like promoting (but if I ever send you an email with nothing but "I'm great, NOW BUY MY BOOK" - just shoot me, that's when I lose the remainder of my personal dignity), it's that I've been busy getting a new job and getting the magazine to print.
So. Giveaways. Amora/Amara over at her blog sponsors a giveaway of "Transit". I'm sponsoring a second copy, so there's the chance to win two. Just read the excerpt and answer the question.
Awesome.
Next one on the list. I'm giving away HARD COPIES (yes, actual paper/print books) of "First Blood". I got five copies, nobody needs that many, so I'll sign them, wrap them in Christmassy paper and off they go. I ship globally, even though that might end up costing an arm and a leg, but hey, it's Christmas and I don't believe in being cheap. So all readers from Ulan Batar to the remote villages of Canada are more than welcome to enter.
Enter here.
If you're not a member of Goodreads, you can still post there, but I'll need an email address. After all, I'll have to get in touch to get your real world address so I can post the book.
Contest ends MONDAY.
That's it from me. (I'm still snowed in an can't get to work, but I'm working on the magazine, so a little busy right now. The worst will be over next week...).
So. Giveaways. Amora/Amara over at her blog sponsors a giveaway of "Transit". I'm sponsoring a second copy, so there's the chance to win two. Just read the excerpt and answer the question.
Awesome.
Next one on the list. I'm giving away HARD COPIES (yes, actual paper/print books) of "First Blood". I got five copies, nobody needs that many, so I'll sign them, wrap them in Christmassy paper and off they go. I ship globally, even though that might end up costing an arm and a leg, but hey, it's Christmas and I don't believe in being cheap. So all readers from Ulan Batar to the remote villages of Canada are more than welcome to enter.
Enter here.
If you're not a member of Goodreads, you can still post there, but I'll need an email address. After all, I'll have to get in touch to get your real world address so I can post the book.
Contest ends MONDAY.
That's it from me. (I'm still snowed in an can't get to work, but I'm working on the magazine, so a little busy right now. The worst will be over next week...).
Letters from the Front
Aleksandr Voinov's blog on reading and writing.
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