Logospilgrim's Blog, page 6

2018: upcoming Patreon projects

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

First, let me say that Patreon is already giving me more joy than anything I’ve done in a well over a decade. I haven’t felt this fulfilled, creatively, in all the years I’ve been writing and publishing books.

I already have a great group of patrons and am close to one hundred dollars a month! This puts gas in my creative engine like you wouldn’t believe. I have my sights set on gathering and engaging with many more patrons, and publishing more offbeat books than I ever have so far. So much seems possible now.

Allow me to share some of my Patreon page developments:

Thank you for joining my community and contributing to an independent writer’s brazen scribbles. Your patronage makes it easier for me to publish unique, devious books for rascals, rebels, and assorted rapscallions. By becoming my patron, you’ll have access to exclusive blog posts, special editions of my books with content unavailable anywhere else, early drafts of upcoming works, and more. If you want daring, innovative books, you’re in the right place!

First tier rewards (bar tab rascals):

A dollar per month gives you access to my exclusive Patreon blog posts. It also warms my fingers as I write and put out a vast quantity of material bursting with subversiveness into the world. More whiskey, more fun! And you’ll have the option of pre-ordering special editions of my books, only available to patrons.

Second tier rewards (old school gang):

With your five dollar per month contribution, you’ll receive a monthly one page printed newsletter plus a one-of-a-kind, mystery instant photograph right in your mailbox, along with a form that will allow you to order books directly from and signed by yours truly (rediscover the joy of sending money orders!). You’ll also have access to my exclusive Patreon blog posts and all previous rewards.

Third tier rewards (library boost circle):

Twenty-five dollars a month will get you a special edition, signed copy of each new book I publish, before the books are available anywhere else! You will receive these special edition books before I make them available to patrons in other reward tiers. I’ll even jot down secret notes for you here and there in your copy. This tier also includes all previous rewards.

So, special editions with a bunch of extra material, and all kinds of goodies await my Patreon patrons.

I’ve also decided that some stories will be available exclusively to patrons, such as my upcoming serial book story about Dracula/Victor Frankenstein (I did a Twitter poll on story ideas)—oh, the adventures and angst and romance I have in store for those two!

Let me say that I LOVE writing alternate history. I’m having a blast with Mozart (whom I adore) and Salieri, and will soon introduce a mystery character into the mix that will take this particular serial book story to a whole other level of wild. And I’ve loved Dracula and Victor Frankenstein for decades; writing a story about those two will be total bliss. I know exactly how their story will begin, and once again, it’s going to be an outrageous ride.

I have a story idea for a Goldilocks/Red Riding Hood tale, too. Because they’re yummy.

The first reward tier gives readers access to these special projects!

Patrons will have access to all my new titles before anyone else does, and new titles on Patreon, as I previously stated, will be special editions available nowhere else. I’ll be setting up a pre-order system once I have a new special edition title ready.

I’m already blogging on Patreon quite a lot, and I’m discussing all sorts of matters close to my heart over there. I’ll be sharing first draft excerpts of upcoming books there as well. This week, I’ll be writing about my motivation for writing stories like Wolfgang, and let me say that personal liberation is a major factor.

If you know anyone who might be interested in the type of books I write, do let them know about my Patreon! Sharing gives more resources to independent creators, and generates imaginative content.

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I am feeling such empowerment and creativity. I am invigorated, on fire.

My non-fiction works will also be available as special editions to my patrons before they’re listed anywhere else. Since patrons are contributing to my work on a monthly basis, I am determined to give them non-fiction extras, content, and stories that will be available nowhere else.

After I finish the first Mozart/Salieri serial story book, I’ll write and publish Reveries of an Improper Solitudinarian, and then a slew of works, including more Mozart and Salieri adventures, obviously, Masterful: Severus Snape, A Jar of Cockroaches, and Me, my Dracula/Victor Frankenstein project, and so on and on.

My priority will be publishing books for my Patreon patrons. This will be my main focus.

Upcoming titles will be short, between thirty and sixty pages. Copies ordered through me on Patreon will be cheaper than Amazon regular editions. Small books are less expensive, and cost less to ship. This is why I will publish “serial story books” and short non-fiction books. I strongly believe in creating REAL material; digital is fine for blog posts, but I want to put real books out there. There is a difference.

Other things that will be available to patrons: exclusive self-portraits.

I will be lavishing the fruits of my creative efforts on those who are enthusiastic about my vision and writings; those who want to be an active part of what I do and are hungry for more. Patreon is, furthermore, a wonderful platform for communication. I am deeply grateful to everyone who’s been joining my Patreon endeavor. Greater resources will mean I’ll have less stress, more energy, more stability, and the means to create more bold non-fiction and unique, non-mainstream fiction.

This week, I’ll be sending the first issue of my monthly old school newsletter to patrons. This month, I’ll be writing my article for Satan Superstar as well.

I’m off to write. Being indoors is more delicious than ever, may I add, because it’s been downright glacial over here.

Oh, and here’s how I celebrated New Year’s Day: I acquired two fabulous vintage polyester shirts for my collection (re: self-portrait photo sessions).

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The best to all of you in 2018!

Say cheese.

LOGOS

Tagged: Patreon

Patreon

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

2018 is nearly upon us, and I have a lot of writing in store.

In January, I’ll be writing my article for the Satan Superstar issue of The Reprobate magazine. I’ll also be working on my book about the glorious, self-indulgent, decadent joys of solitude, namely:

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I’ll also be writing a short novella. I’ve already begun working on it, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun to write. This right here:

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Rave Rascal Reviews

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

This afternoon, I feel moved to share the first reviews Rascal: A Manifesto has gotten over on Amazon.

Laugh, cry, get angry, and fall in love with Logospilgrim

By Mike A Klotz on on December 6, 2017

This is the second book I have read from this author. She is raw, powerful and emotional. This book truly is a manifesto. Which anyone might use as affirmations and encouragement to break away from whatever chains may shackle you. It’s not what you expect but it is probably what most of us need. I challenge you to read this book and not be moved into looking closely at your own personal demons.

Permission granted to be yourself

By Michael Sieber on December 9, 2017

I’ve read several books by this author, all of which I enjoyed, but Rascal is special because it’s a powerful, simple and direct message that encourages people to embrace who they are and to not let themselves be controlled or ruled by those with small minds and prejudices. If you’ve ever been told to stop being you, this book is your permission slip to vigorously and unapologetically decline and embrace that which makes you unique. If society deems you to be an oddball, this book is for you.

Brazen and unashamedly brilliant.

By Clay Graves on December 4, 2017

“Rascal: A Manifesto” is the perfect title to this book. It is the sun’s rays spotlighting Vampiric abusers of this world and beyond. Showing them for their true horrific and manipulative selves that they are. And they cannot hope to hide from her wrath as she has her phoenix moment of clarity and freedom. Logospilgrim has fast become a favorite artist of mine and I highly recommend her to anyone who has even the faintest glimmer of hope to finding the path to loving oneself.

No regrets

By serenity on November 12, 2017

An unabashed proclamation of humanity and all that goes with it. Logospilgrim asserts her self against those that would seek to take that away. This book is a call to unapologetically be the person you always wanted to be.

Affirmation

By MB Holmes on November 14, 2017

Manifesto indeed. Direct and full of heart, this book forces the reader to consider what it means to value oneself in a sea of those who squelch personal fulfillment and happiness.

These words mean a whole fucking hell of a lot. I am extremely grateful to all who have begun sharing their enthusiastic thoughts about the book on Amazon, and thereby helped me get the book out there. Others have ordered a copy and tweeted, “I can’t wait to read it!!”

This is the best gift you can give an author. Especially an independent author.

It makes a real difference.

I got myself some celebratory t-shirts today. Here’s one:

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I believe that Rascal CAN be my first book to get over 50 Amazon reviews. This would be… phenomenal. Nothing could describe the exhilaration I’ll feel when this happens.

Even a sentence is enough. ONE SENTENCE.

Do we want a world with bold, original, indomitable voices? If so, strong, unconventional independent voices must be celebrated.

I’ve worked for a long time, I have fought to break the barriers that would have contained me and ultimately couldn’t, and my voice is worth being celebrated. I start by celebrating it myself.

I’ll continue to write, and be what I’m not “supposed” to be, and encourage bold, like-minded individuals to live their power. I will dare, and dare, and dare.

If you’re among those who were born to be bold, don’t dream it, BE IT.

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I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m so glad I’ve reached this point in my life. I’ve forcefully rejected anything that would deny me my identity and individuality. I have wrenched myself from the illegitimate clutches of those who fear self-emancipators and free-thinkers: we devils. I rejected oppressive notions more and more with each step forward, with each snapping bond, with my increasing awareness of the forces that shaped my mind—and I used all of this to claim my life. And as I fought and made progress, my circumstances themselves changed, which facilitated yet more beneficial transformations that brought me back to my glorious, vital, rascal self.

I’ve taken the hand I was dealt and learned to use it to my full advantage, thus making the very best of my own existence in all of its aspects. I have learned to be a magician. I’ve turned problems into gifts; I’ve turned impediments into opportunities. My gold, I’ve polished to a blazing shine.

And this is why, as I write in Rascal, I am mine.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

Masterful

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

December! Already. But it’s delightful. So quiet; at least, in my world it is.

This month, I’ll be working on my article for The Reprobate’s special issue Satan Superstar, and on my next book that will celebrate the glorious self-indulgent joys of solitude, Reveries of an Improper Solitudinarian. If anyone’s ever gotten on your case because you enjoy being alone, because you prefer being alone, you’ll relate to this book.

And now, allow me to share the cover of my upcoming book about Severus Snape. I scrapped Severus Snape and the Art of Being Human because I’ve outgrown that book. So, new title, new cover, new focus.

As I’ve said before, it’s going to be my last “me & Snape” book.

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This book will be a celebration of individuality and self-respect. I’ll write about how my understanding of Professor Snape evolved over the years, and how he helped me move through radically different stages of life. In many ways, this book will illustrate views that are the opposite of ideas I explored in my first three books about him, namely Bring Forth the Best Robes, The Flawed Master, and The Severus Snape Paradigm—the first two especially.

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, in my upcoming book Masterful, I’ll talk about why Severus Snape is such a controversial and divisive figure in the Potter world (and fandom). And the problem isn’t that once upon a time, he joined the Death Eaters.

The reason many still argue about him, his worth, his motives, is centered around the key to his identity. His defining characteristic, which is where all of his power resides and why people either love or hate him, relate to him or despise him.

Obviously, I won’t tell you what said defining characteristic is here. You’ll have to read the book, which I’ll be writing this winter.

I will share this: one of the things I’ll write about in the book is that he isn’t Dumbledore’s, or Voldemort’s, or even Lily’s.

All of this will be linked to how I’ve awakened to my own power.

As I wrote on Twitter, I am a goat. I have always been a goat. I was born a goat. I’ve never been on the right side of anything. I cross the line. I am the line, my line, an ungraspable line.

In other news, the colder months have been extremely sweet to me this year. I’ve been savoring the kind of blissful tranquility I hadn’t tasted in a long time. I live my life according to my rules now. I’m therefore much happier: I’m who I am.

There is something about me that has always been untamable, and nowadays it has free reign. It’s no longer impeded; it has burst free and it’s greater than before.

In other other news, net neutrality. Can it be saved? I have no idea.

To me, the Internet started dying when Facebook steamrolled all that was cool and unique online, replacing each creative space with its bland, uniform, terrible, devouring, “acceptable” pseudo-Internet instead. I tried countless platforms, hoping to find the Internet I once knew there, but again and again, I encountered an almost total lack of will for anything different; the almighty Jailbook is “easier.” Twitter had more room for creativity and subversiveness, but recently it’s become another bleak, nasty place (yet Twitter now clutches its pearls when users utter naughty words like “fuck”), unless you avoid most of it.

Mastodon has potential, but then again, so did Imzy, and it’s gone.

The Internet is no longer a place for nuance, for expression, for originality. It’s just another strip mall with half a dozen Starbucks, a cafeteria that serves canned peas and greasy, day old French fries and stale tacos to the bored masses that only seem to want more of the same. The “Internet” is a place where the majority of people are like the crowd in an episode of South Park: “Rabble rabble rabble!”

The Internet has been reduced to Facebook, Twitter, smaller platforms like Instagram and Tumblr, and dispersed blogs. And shopping.

Seriously, is there any point in weeping over the loss of net neutrality anymore? The corporate overlords have, for the most part, already taken over.

Here’s a related phenomenon, a phenomenon I find unpalatable: the popularity of the “Minion” films. Who the fuck wants to be a minion?

If net neutrality is compromised, maybe that’ll wake people up and we’ll see an Internet Renaissance. Or not. Who knows. In any event, should the former occur, I’ll continue tweeting, I’ll share pictures on Instagram, I’ll blog here. I may eventually start blogging on Patreon, where I have an account and support other fellow creators; this is a possibility.

The main thing is that I’ll continue publishing books, which will be on Amazon and here on my website, a WordPress blog.

The more time I spend offline, the less time I want to spend online in general. Offline, I read books, I listen to music, I write, I enjoy life. I used to enjoy myself online, but the Internet I once knew simply is no more, or it’s just barely there. Sometimes I wonder if it was ever really there. Or if I’d go back to what it “used” to be, for that matter.

This may well be why I enjoy blogging here.

I saw a meme of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on Twitter that sums up the Internet to me these days: “deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”

I am not exploitable.

When I wrote Rascal: A Manifesto, it was to proclaim that I am done with bullshit.

I’ve recovered the essence of who I am, and I’m stronger because of how much I fought to liberate myself from all that would have robbed me of my self, my individuality, my vitality. The essence of who I am, like a potent fuel, is burning brighter than it ever has.

Here at least

we shall be free; the Almighty hath not built

Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:

Here we may reign secure, and in my choice

to reign is worth ambition though in Hell:

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

reveries

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

Well, I’ve been sick for the past two weeks, and dealing with other issues (such as experiencing acute peri-menopause symptoms, which have been seriously interfering with my sleep), and although I only have two Krav Maga classes left, I won’t be able to finish the course; as stubborn as I can be, I simply haven’t been well enough this month. At least nowadays I have too much self-respect to completely drive myself into the ground.

I plan to take more classes this spring, after a reclusive, solitary winter.

This has been an exceedingly challenging year for me. There have been incredible changes; this has been excellent in many ways, but a number of these changes involved phenomenal amounts of stress.

I took this photo yesterday. I had a haircut that morning, the most social I’d been in a while.

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Many thanks to all who have been acquiring, reading, and reviewing my latest book, Rascal: A Manifesto. It would make a great gift for as many like-minded people on your Saturnalia list as possible, by the way.

Here are some exciting news: I will be contributing an article to Satan Superstar, a special issue of top-notch, outré British magazine The Reprobate.

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I’m not sure is this is going to be the final cover, but:

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To pre-order Satan Superstar, go here: https://reprobatemagazine.uk/satan-superstar/ It’s coming out at the beginning of 2018.

If you’d like to get copies of the first two issues of The Reprobate, please visit https://reprobatemagazine.uk/buy-the-reprobate/

These are fantastic, high-quality publications. Certainly not your run-of-the-mill and dull mainstream crap.

I’ll be writing about some of my weird religious experiences, among other things. So if you love my work, do pre-order a copy of Satan Superstar, which will be chock-full of exquisitely subversive and curious material by a slew of unique individuals.

I continue adding devilish books to my library. These arrived yesterday.

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Like I said, it’s going to be a very quiet winter for me, and I’ll have plenty of intriguing titles to read during the grey, snowy months, with Baroque music playing in the background.

And I’ll be watching favorite movies like the surrealistic, eerie Vampyr…

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This is my state of mind these days:

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Which brings me to my next short writing project, in which I’ll sing the praises of self-indulgent seclusion and discuss living the truly good life.

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This winter, I’ll turn my attention to my last Snape-centered book. I’ll share the new cover and title with you soon. I won’t be fucking around in that one, I can tell you. For one, I’ll discuss why Severus Snape is such a polarizing figure: why people endlessly argue about his motives, whose side he’s really on, etc. And the reason isn’t what most think it is. The problem isn’t that he joined the Death Eaters. The odds that I’ll be sharing my personal opinion of The Marauders (a bunch of pricks) is also very high.

So, on that charming note, I hope you’re enjoying November as much as I am.

Oh, one more thing: you can now find me on Mastodon.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

Tagged: Rascal: A Manifesto, The Reprobate

Rascal: A Manifesto now on Amazon

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

I’m not feeling too fantastic right now, sore throat, I think I’m coming down with something, ugh. I’ll be going out briefly this afternoon to stock up on a few important supplies; then I’m going to hunker down and rest.

But I wanted to let you all know that my latest book is now available on Amazon!

Go here to get your copy, or click on the cover below:

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If you add the book to your library and enjoy my Rascal, please leave a short review on amazon.com—it makes a huge difference. Independent authors need this type of support; it’s vital. Apart from buying a copy of the book and telling others about it, there’s no better way to show your support and help me write more books.

I’m proud of this book. One person who’s read it has described it as “raw,” “bold,” and “in your face.”

I have a feeling I’ll be on my face for a few days. Oh well… It’s November, everything is quiet and grey, so being under the weather isn’t completely terrible.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

new book available soon

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

I’m waiting for my proof copy of Rascal: A Manifesto, which I published yesterday.

The book should be available on Amazon around mid November.

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“To reclaim yourself: this is excellent greed.”
“It’s quite possible not to forgive and to move on.”
“Happiness often requires a great deal of effrontery.”
“Forgiveness isn’t a cure-all.”
“Love yourself enough that it’s too much for those who would drain you. Be a scandal.”

In her latest book, Rascal: A Manifesto, author and maverick Logospilgrim takes her readers on a tour of the so-called seven deadly sins and shares her thoughts on the power each of these “vices” has to liberate the mind, heart, and senses. Be an individual, own yourself, love yourself! Break your shackles and claim your earthly life.

Once it’s officially on Amazon, I’ll let you all know.

The book is sixty-two pages. Shorter books mean cheaper books. Also, they’re enjoyable to write, I find.

In other news, I’ve been reading excellent books like The Unique and Its Property by Max Stirner. I’ve been adding quite a few books to my library lately. I’m getting ready for tranquil winter hibernation. History books, philosophy, Gothic fiction, subversive magazines like The Reprobate will make for a fine, sublime reclusive winter.

Reading, writing, movies… Solitary delights. That’s where it’s at for me.

Next week, I’ll already be at work on my next writing project. I just have to decide which one it’ll be.

Have some green and gold.

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November is right around the corner and I’m glad about this. November is so quiet. Leafless trees, grey skies… Everything is hushed, just the way I love it.

Since this has been an exhausting year, I need hushed everything. Disruptive bullshit makes me growl.

Movies I’ve been savoring: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and Vampyr. November movies, you could say. This afternoon, I’m probably going to watch Carnival of Souls again.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

new book: raising a little hell

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

Get ready for some excitement…

First, I hope you’re all having a beautiful autumn.

I’ve been enjoying the normal, most relaxing weather we’ve been having lately very much indeed. Apart from a few days of extreme heat at the beginning of September, the weather has been blissfully familiar. Quiet. It’s cooler, the sunlight is golden, the rain we’re getting now and then is soothing…

All right. News.

I’m taking a Krav Maga self-defense for women class. It ends at the beginning of December, but I already know how to break a man’s jaw with my head after maneuvering a knife away from my throat. This class has been phenomenal PTSD therapy. One of the most important aspects of Krav Maga is to be angry and aggressive. This has been very good for me. I’ve had no problem being angry and aggressive and dispatching would-be attackers with as much brutal ferocity as I can dish out.

Sometimes, you must be ferocious.

I’m standing my ground as I never have before. In this vein, I’ll have a new book out soon, and I’m happier with this project than anything I’ve done so far.

Here are a few excepts from this book:

“To reclaim yourself: this is excellent greed.”

“It’s quite possible not to forgive and to move on.”

“Happiness often requires a great deal of effrontery.”

“Love yourself enough that it’s too much for those who would drain you. Be a scandal.”

Here’s another:

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This book is about living your life your way, unapologetically. Celebrating your life, loves, needs, desires. Tossing garbage out.

And here it is:

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I finished the first edit yesterday. Today, I’ll be making all the corrections and adjustments to the text, then it’s on to the second edit. The book is a little over sixty pages, and extols the liberating power of so-called vices.

Last night, I took a few portraits to express how cathartic this book has been to me.

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I love my life now.

As soon as the book is available, I’ll be letting you all know.

Rascal distracted me from my small monthly project (see the first book in that series, The Corner Store Epiphany), but anywho. I’m thinking that I’ll put a booklet out when I’m not already working on something else.

Deep gratitude to everyone who continues to support my work.

Apart from this, I’ve been taking excellent care and spending a lot of time by myself. I’ve been reading quietly, watching movies (like “Only Lovers Left Alive” and “The Neon Demon”), scribbling while ensconced in the couch, eating comfort food… It’s good.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

quiet season

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

September is settling in beautifully. The quiet days, the plethora of school supplies…

The first issue of my monthly rambles is now available on Amazon.

Allow me to share the blurb for this series again:

Logospilgrim, prolific writer and disco tomboy, has embarked upon a series of short books that will be released on a monthly basis. She shares candid, maverick thoughts about the small joys of life, being who you are, personal freedom, and much more in her unique, unapologetic stay home vagabond poet style. These books are the written equivalent of instant photographs. Join her on the road to nowhere and everywhere.

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Many thanks to all who are buying a copy.

This past week, I’ve been dealing with a (recurring, sadly) ear problem that culminated in a sleepless night and weeping early this week. There’s nothing like feeling,  for days on end, as though half of your head is about to implode. This comes with the territory when you have twisted ear canals, but it had been a while since it’d been this bad. Fortunately, the situation has improved drastically and I’ve stopped wishing I could pour acid down my left ear.

I am exhausted, however, and this is going to be a mighty quiet month. Season.

Yesterday, because I’d been so miserable, I treated myself to a copy of Crimson Peak on DVD. I can’t see that film often enough… It’s gorgeous, captivating. Along with the film, this:

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She’s my dream girl. And since the Funko Pop figure came in that ethereal nightgown of hers and with her flowing, wavy blonde tresses, well, I had to have it. She’s even holding the golden candlestick.

Otherwise, things are good. I’m keeping to myself a lot because I’m especially in need of it these days—this year.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

new project

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

So, it’s almost the end of August. Which is great. I’m really looking forward to autumn… Spring and summer this year: exhausting as fuck, mostly because of the loony weather. It’s nice and cool today, and this feels fantastic.

Hit the Road: I’m not anywhere near having finished this book, BUT I will have a new book out soon.

I’ve begun a new project, and I’m quite excited about it.

It involves a series of short books, 36 pages in length, one per month. It’s like a kind of literary magazine or something.

Here’s the blurb:

Logospilgrim, prolific writer and disco tomboy, has embarked upon a series of short books that will be released on a monthly basis. She shares candid, maverick thoughts about the small joys of life, being who you are, personal freedom, and much more in her unique, unapologetic stay home vagabond poet style. These books are the written equivalent of instant photographs. Join her on the road to nowhere and everywhere.

And here’s the cover of the first issue, titled The Corner Store Epiphany:

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I went for a simple, 70s-inspired look. I’m thinking that the front cover colors, and the back cover photograph, will change each year. Haha, I’m already hopeful this project will endure for years… I think it just might, though. This is the first time I’ve written exactly what I wanted to write, and it felt wonderful working on this short book. I’m already looking forward to the next one. Same cover, different title.

The August 2017 issue is available on lulu, and will be available on Amazon as well in a few weeks. It’s only available in print form, in keeping with the spirit of this series.

Allow me to reiterate how good I feel about this project. As usual, I’m unsure whether it’s crap or not, but whatever. Doing it anyway. Doing it my way.

My writing in a nutshell:

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I’m still pretty worn out re: this whole year. Fortunately, I’m much, much better at taking care of myself.

My record collection keeps expanding. I’ve got Heaven 17 on the way, more disco, more New Wave. Vinyl rules so hard. Every time I go to one of the local record stores, there’s more vinyl, new and old. This thrills me to no end.

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Digital can be useful, but it can’t be everything. I think the hawkers of digital (“enjoy your convenient nothing”) are realizing it can’t be everything. For the most part, digital can blow me, to be perfectly blunt.

I’ve rediscovered the absolute joy of portable radios. That wondrous “tinny” sound transports me right back to days when songs like Born to Be Alive were new. Last night, I was working on something or other, and Funkytown came on a fave local station: my heart skipped a beat. Streaming simply does not compare.

My small Sony AM FM portable radio will be joined by a Panasonic AM FM radio (that I’ll be able to plug in), and a pocket Philips AM FM radio that’ll go in my Fjallraven backpack.

Bags are happiness.

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And check out these sweet vintage Snoopy plates… Snoopy is everything.

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I am still working on a photocopied zine too. Thinking it might be a bi-monthly or quarterly thing, because they take more time to produce…

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Which reminds of another recent old love: instant photography. My Instax 9 fills me with pure ecstasy. Every time a small semi-fuzzy photograph emerges from the top of the camera, I want to do a little dance.

Here’s a photo I took the other day. 80s tomboy, baby.

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Speaking of the 80s, I can’t wait to get my hands on this thing of beauty:

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Gaston forever. Agendas are my happy place.

So, all in all, everything’s good. I’m creating, resting, taking a fatigue/stress tonic, enjoying my life and my home. Not putting up with bullshit. Doing what I need to do to live with PTSD: setting limits, reinforcing my barriers, giving priority to all that is helpful to me, gives me relief, and allows me to cope with life in general. I’m more and more aware of what I want and don’t want, what’s good for me and what harms me. I know that when I’m confronted with situations that are even remotely similar to original traumas, the “off” switch to sky-high stress reactions just doesn’t work. You could even say that it’s not there; it doesn’t exist. I calm myself by avoiding such situations as much as possible, by going into hyper-arousal mode when they occur (“bug out bag” syndrome), and by requiring extensive periods of recovery afterwards. That’s how it is.

Sometimes, by going numb. This does still happen, though it’s not as severe as when I was a teenager.

Oh, and by writing. Especially by writing. As a friend recently put it, self-expression is self-preservation.

I’ve been giving myself permission to say “no” to shit that is particularly damaging to me.

As a result, I feel good. I can function. I can be happy.

I am finally living life on my own terms.

Say cheese.

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Tagged: corner store epiphany, disco, Fjallraven, Gaston Lagaffe, ptsd, Snoopy, vinyl, writing