Gordon Osmond's Blog: Gordon Osmond on Writing
February 4, 2017
January 15, 2017
An Alternative Christmas Carol
An Alternative Christmas Carol
For those who have grown up with A Christmas Carol and are fully familiar with its traditional charms, Robert Cubitt‘s unique take on the Dickens classic is a delightful change of pace.
Without alternating the original novella’s basic structure, Cubitt retells the tale, but just as the reader is settling into the comfort of familiarity, the author adds an iconoclastic touch of Tabasco that jolts the reader into a new level of totally contemporary enjoyment. My favorite involves Tiny Tim’s crutch, but I’m not going to spoil by saying more. The third ghost is also a comic marvel.
This story is appropriately short, as the original is. It is also worth noting that the first film version of A Christmas Carol, produced by the rather clever Thomas Edison, ran for only ten minutes.
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If you want to know more about what Charles Dickens is up to these days, link to:
http://www.internetradiopros.com/book...
For those who have grown up with A Christmas Carol and are fully familiar with its traditional charms, Robert Cubitt‘s unique take on the Dickens classic is a delightful change of pace.
Without alternating the original novella’s basic structure, Cubitt retells the tale, but just as the reader is settling into the comfort of familiarity, the author adds an iconoclastic touch of Tabasco that jolts the reader into a new level of totally contemporary enjoyment. My favorite involves Tiny Tim’s crutch, but I’m not going to spoil by saying more. The third ghost is also a comic marvel.
This story is appropriately short, as the original is. It is also worth noting that the first film version of A Christmas Carol, produced by the rather clever Thomas Edison, ran for only ten minutes.
********
If you want to know more about what Charles Dickens is up to these days, link to:
http://www.internetradiopros.com/book...
December 13, 2016
October 13, 2016
September 26, 2016
September 19, 2016
Exclusive Submissions: Sin or Saint?
Is a Demand for Exclusive Submissions to a Publisher Reasonable?
Publishers that are willing to consider un-agented submissions divide themselves into three categories;
1. Those that insist on representations that the submission is exclusive, i.e., that the author is submitting to no other publisher(s) pending a decision from the immediate target publisher
2. Those that openly invite non-exclusive submissions
3. Those that say nothing on the issue
The question is: Is position #1 reasonable? The answer is: Yes. Reviewing a manuscript can take time, sometimes quite a bit, particularly when a long work is submitted. It must be incredibly frustrating for a thorough and thoughtful reader to learn that his or her effort is worthless because the author has already accepted an offer from another publisher.
The question is: Is position #1 reasonable? The answer is: No. Is it reasonable to expect an author to commit to sequential, rather than simultaneous, submissions? Publishers generally take two or more months to render a decision. So an author that has six or more target publishers in mind would have to sign on to a year or more of waiting if they were to respect this group of publishers’ totally rational rules.
So, the subject question #1 has two, equally defensible and opposite answers.
From my admittedly partisan viewpoint as a submitting author, I think the authors have the edge. I base my opinion partially on my occupation as a book reviewer. I can tell after reading twenty or fewer pages of a book whether that book is likely to result in a good review, and a fortiorari, publication. So, frankly, I question whether publishers realistically need to take two or more months to render a verdict on a submitted manuscript. If a publisher’s backlog is so overwhelming that even with cursory reviews it takes multiple months to come to a decision, they should seriously consider closing down submissions until the backlog becomes more manageable.
Of course, many authors, with a fair degree of provocation, will simply lie and say that a particular submission is exclusive. It would be extraordinary if lies of this kind were ever exposed. Nevertheless, there are some authors, including the author of this piece, who will not infect a treasured market with anything less than the unvarnished truth.
Publishers that are willing to consider un-agented submissions divide themselves into three categories;
1. Those that insist on representations that the submission is exclusive, i.e., that the author is submitting to no other publisher(s) pending a decision from the immediate target publisher
2. Those that openly invite non-exclusive submissions
3. Those that say nothing on the issue
The question is: Is position #1 reasonable? The answer is: Yes. Reviewing a manuscript can take time, sometimes quite a bit, particularly when a long work is submitted. It must be incredibly frustrating for a thorough and thoughtful reader to learn that his or her effort is worthless because the author has already accepted an offer from another publisher.
The question is: Is position #1 reasonable? The answer is: No. Is it reasonable to expect an author to commit to sequential, rather than simultaneous, submissions? Publishers generally take two or more months to render a decision. So an author that has six or more target publishers in mind would have to sign on to a year or more of waiting if they were to respect this group of publishers’ totally rational rules.
So, the subject question #1 has two, equally defensible and opposite answers.
From my admittedly partisan viewpoint as a submitting author, I think the authors have the edge. I base my opinion partially on my occupation as a book reviewer. I can tell after reading twenty or fewer pages of a book whether that book is likely to result in a good review, and a fortiorari, publication. So, frankly, I question whether publishers realistically need to take two or more months to render a verdict on a submitted manuscript. If a publisher’s backlog is so overwhelming that even with cursory reviews it takes multiple months to come to a decision, they should seriously consider closing down submissions until the backlog becomes more manageable.
Of course, many authors, with a fair degree of provocation, will simply lie and say that a particular submission is exclusive. It would be extraordinary if lies of this kind were ever exposed. Nevertheless, there are some authors, including the author of this piece, who will not infect a treasured market with anything less than the unvarnished truth.
August 29, 2016
My Sports Guide takes on Kaepernick
Nudnick Kaepernick
It seems that 49er Colin Kaepernick has caused quite a stir by refusing to stand during the playing of the U.S. National Anthem and by topping that non-performance by defending his inaction with some racist nonsense that isn’t worth repeating. By contrast, an Olympic pole-vaulter dropped his lance halfway down the runway and snapped to patriotic attention, hand over heart during the song.
Now, players of American football are not known for their brights, but Colin’s caper establishes an all-time high on the ignoramus scale.
But what to do? Having an I.Q. approaching room temperature with the A.C. on is no ground for being fired by the team management.
Obviously, CK did nothing illegal. He certainly had every right to sit out the song, just as his bosses had every right to have him stay that way for the games, which was effectively done by his demotion a while back to stand-by status. Also, the First Amendment has no exception for stupidity although this latest exercise of protected speech may cause some to consider creating one.
As usual, the solution lies in the application of reason to all objectionable, but protected behavior. Although CK is just dumb enough to argue the contrary, no one has an obligation to attend any game in which he is participating, whether as player, bench warmer, or indeed, spectator. I would imagine that were this boycott implemented, it would have a profound and seriously beneficial effect.
And CK would be the only loser, which is as it should be. As Gordon Osmond’s (hey, that’s me) hit book A Hip Pocket Guide to Sports points out, American football ranks very low in the author’s freely expressed opinion among the world’s sports, particularly in contrast to non-American football. This book is full of tributes and jibes to various sports, athletes, and sports-based films. The book is available on Amazon.com for roughly the price of a stadium hotdog as a Kindle, paperback, or, my favorite, an audiobook narrated by the incredibly gifted Aaron Kedrick. If you send me an email at fertile1@aol.com stating that you bought the Kindle or paperback, I’ll send you the audiobook for free.
It seems that 49er Colin Kaepernick has caused quite a stir by refusing to stand during the playing of the U.S. National Anthem and by topping that non-performance by defending his inaction with some racist nonsense that isn’t worth repeating. By contrast, an Olympic pole-vaulter dropped his lance halfway down the runway and snapped to patriotic attention, hand over heart during the song.
Now, players of American football are not known for their brights, but Colin’s caper establishes an all-time high on the ignoramus scale.
But what to do? Having an I.Q. approaching room temperature with the A.C. on is no ground for being fired by the team management.
Obviously, CK did nothing illegal. He certainly had every right to sit out the song, just as his bosses had every right to have him stay that way for the games, which was effectively done by his demotion a while back to stand-by status. Also, the First Amendment has no exception for stupidity although this latest exercise of protected speech may cause some to consider creating one.
As usual, the solution lies in the application of reason to all objectionable, but protected behavior. Although CK is just dumb enough to argue the contrary, no one has an obligation to attend any game in which he is participating, whether as player, bench warmer, or indeed, spectator. I would imagine that were this boycott implemented, it would have a profound and seriously beneficial effect.
And CK would be the only loser, which is as it should be. As Gordon Osmond’s (hey, that’s me) hit book A Hip Pocket Guide to Sports points out, American football ranks very low in the author’s freely expressed opinion among the world’s sports, particularly in contrast to non-American football. This book is full of tributes and jibes to various sports, athletes, and sports-based films. The book is available on Amazon.com for roughly the price of a stadium hotdog as a Kindle, paperback, or, my favorite, an audiobook narrated by the incredibly gifted Aaron Kedrick. If you send me an email at fertile1@aol.com stating that you bought the Kindle or paperback, I’ll send you the audiobook for free.
August 3, 2016
Reviewing Books
Every day I receive scores of requests to review books of various kinds. I consider them all very seriously. It’s not because I think that my review, or any others other than the New York Times, would be especially influential or consequential, but I figure that if someone has spent time, sometimes substantial, in writing a book, the author deserves more than a cursory or dismissive evaluation.
Through the years, I have developed some criteria that I apply in reviewing books or selecting books to be reviewed:
1. Length: This applies both to the review and the book. A single paragraph review is either a useless love letter or a poisonous insult. A real review addresses, at the very least, the book’s theme and how successful the author has been in enlisting dialogue, environmental description, and other literary devices to present it successfully. This takes time and space. I think a well considered review should be at least 400 words.
As for the length of the book, I confess to irrationality. I do not review books longer than 300 pages; I simply don’t have the time. I say irrationality because some of my favorite books are much longer.
2. Theme: I favor books grounded in reality. Therefore, I tend not to review books filled with phantoms and/or extraterrestrial landscapes. On the other hand, I like the reality to be heightened, featuring high degrees of conflict and intensity.
3. I analyze books in terms of their “body” parts—skeleton (theme and story), organs (characters), and skin (language). Ideally, a book tells a compelling story, populated by dramatically distinct characters, and presented with the imaginative use of simile, metaphor, and a rich mix of sentence structures.
Through the years, I have developed some criteria that I apply in reviewing books or selecting books to be reviewed:
1. Length: This applies both to the review and the book. A single paragraph review is either a useless love letter or a poisonous insult. A real review addresses, at the very least, the book’s theme and how successful the author has been in enlisting dialogue, environmental description, and other literary devices to present it successfully. This takes time and space. I think a well considered review should be at least 400 words.
As for the length of the book, I confess to irrationality. I do not review books longer than 300 pages; I simply don’t have the time. I say irrationality because some of my favorite books are much longer.
2. Theme: I favor books grounded in reality. Therefore, I tend not to review books filled with phantoms and/or extraterrestrial landscapes. On the other hand, I like the reality to be heightened, featuring high degrees of conflict and intensity.
3. I analyze books in terms of their “body” parts—skeleton (theme and story), organs (characters), and skin (language). Ideally, a book tells a compelling story, populated by dramatically distinct characters, and presented with the imaginative use of simile, metaphor, and a rich mix of sentence structures.
July 30, 2016
My Review of an Extraordinary Romantic Novel
Title: Blitz
Author: David Trueba (translated from the Spanish by John Cullen
Publisher: Other Press
ISBN: 9781590517857 (ebook) 9781590517840 (softcover)
From a miraculously successful collaboration between author and translator emerges Blitz, a lyrical account of love lost and, in a way, found.
The key events of the narrator’s emotionally tumultuous year are told in unequal calendar chunks. January occupies the bulk of the story. In that month, we learn who the first person/past tense narrator is, what he does, whom he loves, and how he initially reacts to that love’s loss.
The story is told in terms, so rich in insight, imaginative metaphors and similes, and elegant phraseology and sentence structure, as to be breathtaking. But breathtaking is only the effect; the cause is the artists’ ability to breathe life into events that in less able hands would be routine.
After all, what’s so remarkable about a landscape architect being dumped by his girlfriend while the two are attending a competition where the “hero” conclusively loses? What’s so different about how the loser licks his double wounds? The reader of Blitz will be amply rewarded with the answers.
Older readers will delight in the hero’s take on some modern communication techniques: “She knew I hated messages with emoticons and text symbols, irritating substitutes for real emotion.”
Writers will envy the dry and weighty wit inherent in the hero’s explanation of an important turning point in his life: “In life, she declared, you have to get things straight. Maybe it would be a good idea to start getting things straight. First, to get things. And then to get them straight.”
In one case, I think a gay saying arguably improves upon the author’s delightful observation. “…they wish the person beside you would disappear after you’ve been satisfied.” Sexually satisfied gays are more demanding—they wish the spent adjacent one would turn into a pizza.
A big chunk of the book is what romantic novels would call a sex scene. Without a scintilla of coyness, this episode is presented in terms that are both gritty and poetic. Not something easy to do—the failures are legion--but here it’s done to perfection.
For some reason this book relates dialogue without the conventional quotation marks, commas, and paragraphing. This approach is distracting at first, but after a while, it bothered me not at all, so swept away was I with the artistic thrust of the writing.
As structure is key to the architectural work of the narrator, it is no surprise that the book itself is beautifully balanced. Opening passages describe a double bed with separate duvets. At the end, a shared shawl provides the perfect bookend ending for this essentially and intensely romantic story.
Author: David Trueba (translated from the Spanish by John Cullen
Publisher: Other Press
ISBN: 9781590517857 (ebook) 9781590517840 (softcover)
From a miraculously successful collaboration between author and translator emerges Blitz, a lyrical account of love lost and, in a way, found.
The key events of the narrator’s emotionally tumultuous year are told in unequal calendar chunks. January occupies the bulk of the story. In that month, we learn who the first person/past tense narrator is, what he does, whom he loves, and how he initially reacts to that love’s loss.
The story is told in terms, so rich in insight, imaginative metaphors and similes, and elegant phraseology and sentence structure, as to be breathtaking. But breathtaking is only the effect; the cause is the artists’ ability to breathe life into events that in less able hands would be routine.
After all, what’s so remarkable about a landscape architect being dumped by his girlfriend while the two are attending a competition where the “hero” conclusively loses? What’s so different about how the loser licks his double wounds? The reader of Blitz will be amply rewarded with the answers.
Older readers will delight in the hero’s take on some modern communication techniques: “She knew I hated messages with emoticons and text symbols, irritating substitutes for real emotion.”
Writers will envy the dry and weighty wit inherent in the hero’s explanation of an important turning point in his life: “In life, she declared, you have to get things straight. Maybe it would be a good idea to start getting things straight. First, to get things. And then to get them straight.”
In one case, I think a gay saying arguably improves upon the author’s delightful observation. “…they wish the person beside you would disappear after you’ve been satisfied.” Sexually satisfied gays are more demanding—they wish the spent adjacent one would turn into a pizza.
A big chunk of the book is what romantic novels would call a sex scene. Without a scintilla of coyness, this episode is presented in terms that are both gritty and poetic. Not something easy to do—the failures are legion--but here it’s done to perfection.
For some reason this book relates dialogue without the conventional quotation marks, commas, and paragraphing. This approach is distracting at first, but after a while, it bothered me not at all, so swept away was I with the artistic thrust of the writing.
As structure is key to the architectural work of the narrator, it is no surprise that the book itself is beautifully balanced. Opening passages describe a double bed with separate duvets. At the end, a shared shawl provides the perfect bookend ending for this essentially and intensely romantic story.
July 13, 2016
A Wonderful Book About Pets
Title: When Man Meets Dog: What a Difference a Dog Makes
Author: Chris Blazina
Publisher: Veloce Publishing Ltd
ISBN: Print: 978-1-845848-79-8
eBook: 978-1-845849-84-9
Lest one think that Dr. Blazina’s eloquent extolling of the significance of a dog in the life of a male human is a statement of the obvious, consider the following true stories:
A young playwright is asked for his predictions of some interesting trends that might reasonably be expected in the world of tomorrow. His answer: the elimination of household pets.
A dog-sitter for a vacationing couple, confessing that the pet was run over by a car while in custodial care, replaces remorse with the statement, “No worry; we replaced the dog.”
Thanks to Dr. Blazina’s thoughtful analysis of the many ways in which a dog informs and enriches the lives of those who care for them, the reader can truly appreciate the morbid absurdity of both stories.
Dr. Blazina, a teacher and practicing psychiatrist, delves deeply into critical relationships that affect men and their canine companions, e.g., avoidance attachment, wildness encouragement, before and after bonding, and grieving mechanisms. These are all gross simplifications of the matters dealt with by Blazina, but they offer a reasonable survey of the book’s concerns.
The book is, in substantial and touching part, a memoir of the author’s life experience with two overlapping companions, Kelsey and Sadie. In this part of the book, there are marginal references to the author’s late-in-life marriage and fatherhood and health problems, none of which gets in the way of the author’s insightful probing of the issues that most concern him. Add a tear-draining postscript and the book is emotionally complete.
This reader was most impressed by how a dog, if properly treated, as obviously both of the author’s were, can strike an exquisite balance in stimulating and limiting a man’s instinctual need for wildness. Equally impressive was the methodology suggested in dealing with loss, preservation of bonding, and bringing all of it positively to bear upon a new, but never substitute, relationship.
Some may appreciate in part, the value of pets (sorry, Doctor, for this term that you disfavor) in imbuing children with a sense of responsibility, adults with a relief from avoidance attachment and an encouragement of wildness, and productive grieving for those lost but never forgotten.
The book’s dealing with the loss of a canine loved one is, perhaps less adequately, balanced with how much a dog can assuage the agony of human death or terminal disease.
Throughout this beautiful book, I wondered how the author would deal with the twin paradoxes:
Dogs live shorter lives.
Dogs, with supersensitive sensory receptors, process them with brains incapable of producing significant intellectual, as opposed to emotional achievement. I have the feeling that that’s, perhaps, the point.
I used to think that dogs and cats were adored and admired for two reasons: their beauty and their innocence. Thanks to Dr. Blazina’s wonderful book, my view has been substantially enlarged.
As a caregiver for two wonderful dogs who expired in timely fashion, and as a current custodian of two fantastic cats, who exhibit all of the celestial qualities Dr. Blazina extols about dogs, except that they don’t jump up to greet returns to home, we look forward to future books from this sensitive and knowing author.
Author: Chris Blazina
Publisher: Veloce Publishing Ltd
ISBN: Print: 978-1-845848-79-8
eBook: 978-1-845849-84-9
Lest one think that Dr. Blazina’s eloquent extolling of the significance of a dog in the life of a male human is a statement of the obvious, consider the following true stories:
A young playwright is asked for his predictions of some interesting trends that might reasonably be expected in the world of tomorrow. His answer: the elimination of household pets.
A dog-sitter for a vacationing couple, confessing that the pet was run over by a car while in custodial care, replaces remorse with the statement, “No worry; we replaced the dog.”
Thanks to Dr. Blazina’s thoughtful analysis of the many ways in which a dog informs and enriches the lives of those who care for them, the reader can truly appreciate the morbid absurdity of both stories.
Dr. Blazina, a teacher and practicing psychiatrist, delves deeply into critical relationships that affect men and their canine companions, e.g., avoidance attachment, wildness encouragement, before and after bonding, and grieving mechanisms. These are all gross simplifications of the matters dealt with by Blazina, but they offer a reasonable survey of the book’s concerns.
The book is, in substantial and touching part, a memoir of the author’s life experience with two overlapping companions, Kelsey and Sadie. In this part of the book, there are marginal references to the author’s late-in-life marriage and fatherhood and health problems, none of which gets in the way of the author’s insightful probing of the issues that most concern him. Add a tear-draining postscript and the book is emotionally complete.
This reader was most impressed by how a dog, if properly treated, as obviously both of the author’s were, can strike an exquisite balance in stimulating and limiting a man’s instinctual need for wildness. Equally impressive was the methodology suggested in dealing with loss, preservation of bonding, and bringing all of it positively to bear upon a new, but never substitute, relationship.
Some may appreciate in part, the value of pets (sorry, Doctor, for this term that you disfavor) in imbuing children with a sense of responsibility, adults with a relief from avoidance attachment and an encouragement of wildness, and productive grieving for those lost but never forgotten.
The book’s dealing with the loss of a canine loved one is, perhaps less adequately, balanced with how much a dog can assuage the agony of human death or terminal disease.
Throughout this beautiful book, I wondered how the author would deal with the twin paradoxes:
Dogs live shorter lives.
Dogs, with supersensitive sensory receptors, process them with brains incapable of producing significant intellectual, as opposed to emotional achievement. I have the feeling that that’s, perhaps, the point.
I used to think that dogs and cats were adored and admired for two reasons: their beauty and their innocence. Thanks to Dr. Blazina’s wonderful book, my view has been substantially enlarged.
As a caregiver for two wonderful dogs who expired in timely fashion, and as a current custodian of two fantastic cats, who exhibit all of the celestial qualities Dr. Blazina extols about dogs, except that they don’t jump up to greet returns to home, we look forward to future books from this sensitive and knowing author.
Gordon Osmond on Writing
Based on my long career as a playwright, author of fiction and non-fiction, editor, book and play critic, and lecturer on English,I am establishing this new blog for short articles and comments to ass
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