Ross E. Lockhart's Blog, page 93
October 31, 2010
Just in time for Halloween
A couple of books I worked on this year, The Living Dead 2 and The Zombies of Lake Woebegotten, got reviewed this week in Entertainment Weekly, just in time for Halloween.
Ready to get your zombie on? Guess who's coming for dinner, indeed.
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Happy Halloween
Maddie went all-out for her Halloween costume this year:
"Trick or Treat! Got any biscuits?"
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Self Portraits
Self portraits, of a sort. Image manipulation by me, using iPhone apps Adobe Photoshop Express, PictureShow, and Lenses. They ain't flattering, sure (Jennifer hates when I show her pics like these), but I liked the effect in both cases...
Self Portrait as a Spiritualist (after William Hope).
Self Portrait with progeria. Or as a supervillain (with progeria).
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October 30, 2010
Santa Rosa Wildlife
A pair of elusive graffiti monkeys. Fourth and D Streets, Santa Rosa, CA.
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October 29, 2010
Two Pictures
The Television Critic:
"What in the...? This isn't a Godzilla movie!"
And, M is for Madeline (Maddie as Icon):
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October 27, 2010
Monster Slayer
Nothing quite like the feeling of having to slay a monster first thing in the morning.
"There's a creature in the dining room," called Jennifer. She was about to leave for work, and I was still in bed, ready for another half-hour or so of sleep.
"Creature?"
"In the dining room."
Muttering and mumbling, I staggered out of bed, patting Maddie on the head as I passed, and stomped out to where Jennifer stood, pointing to the bags of toys she's spent the year queueing for Christmas Cheer. Something on floor-level made a clicking sound.
"I think it's the mouse."
"Mmmmm," I mumbled. I began moving bags with one hand, rubbing my eyes with the other, hoping I might actually be able to focus them, should I spot the intruder.
Then I spotted it. Not a mouse. "Jerusalem cricket," I said.
Jennifer went green. "Ugh," she said. "I hate those things. So creepy. What do you want me to get, a magazine?" She held up a slim, rolled-up catalog, swinging it for effect.
I looked at the monster, with it's weird alien fetus carapace. It was massive, shiny, frightening in a primal, backbrain way. "Bigger," I suggested. "A boot."
Jennifer disappeared, leaving me alone to watch the mandible-clicking monster. Moments later, she returned, an unlaced Doc Martens boot in one hand. "Are you sure about this?" she asked.
"Of course not." I looked at the boot, then the bug, then the boot. "I've reconsidered. Get me the broom."
Jennifer set the boot on a chair, disappeared into the kitchen. "The little broom?" she called.
"Big," I said as the monster turned, moving it's head as if contemplating whether I was edible. "Bring me the big broom. Quick!"
Jennifer returned, pressed the broom handle into my palm. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah," I said, handing back the previously attached dustpan. "I've got this. Stand back." I lifted the broom like a lance, a pike, a spear, and for a moment, I was Beowulf, I was Gilgamesh, I was the monster slayer, facing a nightmare creature with the simplest of weapons. The Unholy Thing gnashed its mandibles at me as I raised my weapon. Then I brought it down, fast and merciless, feeling the impact as exoskeleton splintered and ichor flowed.
The creature was dead. Jennifer stood nearby, offering a fistful of paper towels. "I hate those things." she said.
"Yeah," I yawned. "Me too. Guess I'm up. I couldn't go back to sleep now."
"Thanks," said Jennifer. "My hero."
And with that, the monster slayer took the paper towels, and bent to clear the remains of his foul quarry, inwardly hoping that it was the last of its kind.
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October 25, 2010
"Who?" (Or should that be "Whom?")
An early attempt at owl-shaped cupcakes, with chocolate espresso cake and frosting, slivered almond feathers, and chocolate-covered espresso bean and Halloween Oreo eyes (and therefore Night Owls).
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Who? Or should that be Whom?
An early attempt at owl-shaped cupcakes, with chocolate espresso cake and frosting and chocolate-covered espresso bean eyes (and therefore Night Owls).
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
October 24, 2010
Go Team Go
Maddie: "Why's everybody on the teevee yellin'? Did we win? We won? Go Midgets... er... Giants!"
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