Keris Stainton's Blog, page 71

Boy quotes (part 7)

Man came from United Utilities (to fix blocked drain). His van had a flashing orange light on top. Joe's last words before bed: "Bye, Nee-naw man…" Joe's first words this morning: "Nee-naw man?"

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Just slung H in his room after a massive tantrum (him, not me). He came down to apologise. I said, "How do I know you're really sorry and you're not just saying that so you can come downstairs?" He said, "That's what I was planning, yes." Oh I'll be sad when he realises he doesn't have to tell the truth.

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David just got halfway upstairs only to spot Harry – who went to bed at 7 – sitting, cross-legged and silent, on the landing. Think the shock may have turned the rest of D's hair grey…

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Harry: "Can I have an ice cream?"

Me: "I don't think so."

Harry: "But I said sorry!"

Me: "Just because you said sorry, doesn't mean you can have a treat."

Harry: "But in movies they say sorry and then they smile and get a treat!"

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Harry to Joe: "Joe, can you say 'red'? Can you say 'yellow'? 'Blue'? 'Green'? Can you say 'pink'? Now. This is a hard one. Can you say 'Kate Middleton'?"

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The iPod is missing.

Me: "So who had it last?"

Harry: "Joe."

Me: "And who gave it to Joe?"

Harry: "I did."

Me: "So whose responsibility is it to find it?"

Harry: "Yours."

*

Me, Harry, Joe sitting in the Skoda to say goodbye (well, I was cleaning it, but whatever). Harry said to Joe: "I'll drive. You just sit there and look gorgeous."

Dream house (yes, another one)

If I was* to draw a picture of my perfect house, it might well look a lot like this. I love the windows and the porch and the colour. I mean, just LOOK at the porch!

I would actually quite like to spend the next couple of hours (while Joe's in bed) reading outside, but I don't have anywhere to read (we've got a garden, but it's completely overgrown, covered in cat poo – we haven't got a cat – and one of the fence panels blew down a while ago and so there's a sort of serving hatch through to next door. Not relaxing). This porch would be a perfect reading nook.

And look at the setting:

And it's described thus:

Bella Rosa is a distinctive cottage home at Conover Commons, the award winning Built Green community. Enjoy morning coffee on your front porch, stroll along the path through lush gardens and neighboring cottages. The home is drenched in natural light with exquisite design details throughout. Large kitchen, 3 bedrooms each with bath. A library nook and top floor loft den. Private backyard.

Library nook? Oh yes.

And there's a sun room! I really want a sun room (also for reading). Although that chair looks like it'd be a bit sweaty.

{via Hooked on Houses}

It's not quite as perfect as my wildly improbable Dream House, but it's a little bit more realistic…

Not a scooby (doo)…

I've been sitting for two hours mainly just staring at the computer. Yes, it's one of those 'got loads to do so I'm not managing to do anything at all' days (possibly also known as 'days I have childcare'). So I can't come up with a blog post, but I have just spent about 20 minutes watching clips of Spaced on YouTube. Like this one.

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One of Those Nights*

* this is the title of a Bucks Fizz song, in case you didn't know. You're welcome!

Okay so me and my sis went down to that London on Monday. After getting a bit lost and confused and walking twice the distance we needed to (what can I say? It's a long time since I lived there!) we went to our hotel. Well. It was the EasyHotel (you know, like EasyJet) and only cost £58 for the night (for the two of us) and so we weren't expecting much, but we actually got even less than we expected. I kept saying "All we need is a bed" and that's all we got. The room was completely empty apart from the bed: no bedside tables, no pictures on the walls, not even a carpet. It was a little prison-esque. (There's a bathroom like the bathroom on a plane. That was fine. Although so small I actually sprayed deodorant in my ear.) It was fine, you know, cos we did only need it for sleeping, but still.

Once we'd dropped our bags we headed uptown and met up with Shoegal and her sister (who were also there for the Fizz) before meeting our friend Peter (and his friends) at the Palladium. Because Peter is lovely, he'd got us VIP tickets, so we went up to the bar, got our glasses of Buck's Fizz and goody bags and then…

I KNOW! We only spoke to her for a minute, but she was lovely. We had a short chat with Mike too, but Jay disappeared before we could say hello and of course you all know that Bobby is in an entirely different Bucks Fizz (a shite one).

And then it was time for the show. They were supported by Bjorn Again who I used to work for and have seen loads of times and they were great, as usual. (Fave Bjorn Again story is when I took my mother-in-law to see them. In the interval she looked around and said, "Isn't it nice to see all these men here without their wives.")

I was actually a bit worried Bjorn Again would be better than Bucks Fizz – I'd heard reports of Bucks Fizz shows that were a bit… unrehearsed – but they were really great. It's such a weird feeling, watching them singing the same songs and doing the same dance routines as they did when I was 10, 11, 12, 13 and completely obsessed. They really were such a massive part of my life and I find nostalgia almost too painful at the best of times. But I managed to hold myself together, have a good sing, and do a bit of celebrity spotting (Jeni Barnett! Martin Lewis! Katie Derham (although now I'm starting to think it might not have been her, but I'm usually right about these things)! Denise Welch! Some bloke in a stripy suit who I know I recognised, but couldn't begin to tell you where from!)

Anyway. Loved it. And I've got the t-shirt (from my goody bag) to prove it.

What the iPad was made for…

{via SwissMiss}

Read lots more about it here {via @IndiaKnight}

Let's get fizzical!*

Right about now, me and my sister will be on our way to London to see Bucks Fizz at the London Palladium. It's the 30th anniversary of this, don't you know…

* This was the title of probably 50% of all articles about Bucks Fizz in the 80s

Boy quotes (part 6)

I just smashed David's best baking dish When Harry came to look, he said, "We have to show Daddy!" I said, "Daddy's not going to be very pleased…" Harry said, "Okay. Don't show Daddy. We have to hide it! In a… place!" Criminal mastermind, that boy.

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Harry has written a prospectus for Angry Birds Primary School: Literacy, Maths, PE, Blowing up pigs, Sharing, Assembly.

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As I was getting annoyed with Joe (for refusing to hold my hand), Harry said: "I know it's hard, Middy, looking after Joe. But what you have to understand is it's hard to be a baby too." 


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Harry: "Joe throwed a cushion!" Me: "I think it was you that threw it, wasn't it?" H: "NO! It was Joe! He throwed the cushion at me!" Me: "But he's in his high chair so he couldn't have reached the cushion." Harry, indignant: "I GIVED it to him!" Haha. Fail. (I love his honesty.)

*

Harry: "I have to assemble my minions. 'Assemble' means 'a collective worship'. And 'minions' means 'minions'."

What I did on my book birthday

After Della came out last year, a couple of people asked me how I'd celebrated publication day… and I couldn't remember. I know I voted (it was the day of the General Election), but apart from that, not a clue. So this year I wanted to make sure that a) I did something and b) I documented it!

I'd arranged to meet some friends in Manchester for lunch, but set off straight after the school run so I could go and bother my book



Here it is in WH Smiths, Piccadilly. Pretty. I was really hungry so I treated myself to a book birthday doughnut.



So then, stuffing my doughnut down my throat, I scooted down to Waterstone's Deansgate to meet my friend Zoe. And look at my book.





Then I dragged poor Zoe to the other branch of Waterstone's to look at it there as well…



Book-bothering done, we walked over to Yang Sing where we met Anstey and Jacqui, ate lovely dim sum, drank (very) lovely wine and had a really good laugh. Jacqui and Zoe had to go home, but Anstey and I went to see a one woman show by her friend Lucia Cox. I had no idea what to expect, but it was wonderful. So amazing that I knew nothing about it, probably wouldn't have thought of going to see it if I had, but then absolutely loved it. (Thanks, Anstey!)

From there we walked to a nearby bar for Happy Hour (we were there for more than an hour, I'm sure). I had some cocktails, which was, in retrospect, a mistake, but what the hell. I went to loo to phone home and say goodnight to Harry and Joe, only for David to tell me about the News of the World. Gobsmacked.

Once Happy Hour(s) was over, we stumbled up to Deansgate for tapas. More lovely food, more laughter and, in my slightly hazy memory, me wittering on like a giddy chimp. Oh dear.

I staggered over to Victoria for the last train home. This picture is blurred because I had my camera on the wrong setting, but it's probably a fairly accurate representation of my own vision by that point.



I fell asleep on the train. Luckily my stop was the last, but someone still had to wake me up. Embarrassing. So I went out for lunch and got home at midnight. Dirty stop out. I had a fabulous time though, and I'll definitely remember it if anyone asks.

(I was slightly ropey this morning – and between 3 and 4.30am when I was WIDE AWAKE – but I feel much better now. It's amazing what Panadol, cheese on toast and a three mile walk to school and back will do for a person…)

Happy Publication Day to meeeeee!

I know. It's been out for ages. But today's the official publication day, so… yay!

Also, the eBook has only just gone on sale today – Harry's very excited to see his name on the Kindle

We're having a virtual launch over on Chicklish, so please come and say hello (and maybe win a copy of the book).

Win Jessie Hearts NYC

I keep forgetting to blog about this! You can win one of ten copies of Jessie Hearts NYC on GoodReads. But hurry, closing date is tomorrow.