Keris Stainton's Blog, page 38

The future is here

I’ve just signed one of my books on Kindle. No, really.

A while ago, I signed up with Kindlegraph. I spent way too long trying to get my signature just right with a mouse and then forgot all about it.

Yesterday, I had my first request! I tried the mouse thing again, but then remembered the iPad and actually managed a marginally better signature with my finger (you can only imagine how long I spent trying – if I buy one of those iPad pen thingies, that might be better).

Exciting!

(I don’t usually put a kiss over the i in my name, but since I couldn’t dot it with the iPad – and I usually put a kiss after my name – I thought I’d kill two birds.)

52 Books: I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron

I pretty much spent the past week reading numerous blog posts about Nora Ephron and re-reading I Feel Bad About My Neck.

I loved it when I read it on publication and I think I may have loved it even more this time.

It made me cry, of course, and it made me think about how I put things off – and how I really must stop doing that. She mentions a Dr Hauschka lemon bath oil that I’ve been meaning to buy since I first read this book… four years ago. (I’ve had it in my basket online lots of times, but I always chicken out – it’s expensive for a bath oil.) In an essay called The Lost Strudel or Le Strudel Perdu, she writes about an amazing cabbage strudel that I vowed to try when I went to New York for my 40th birthday last year. No, you didn’t miss it – I didn’t go to New York for my 40th birthday last year. Nor for my 41st this year.

I originally blogged Nora’s quote about not putting things off just over a year ago, but I’m only really starting to get it now. At least, I hope I am.

(I know this is all me me me, but that aside, it really is a brilliant essay collection – funny, sad, smart and true true true.)

Not a book, but I also read Nora’s Wellesley College Commencement speech and it just blew me away. If you haven’t read it, you really must.

How did exercise June go? (or: I am a massive dork)

Here’s the chart I made at the beginning of the month. I thought the chart would help when I realised how inspiring I found the progress markers on the Wii. And it really did. Any days I didn’t fancy exercising, I did it anyway because I didn’t want to disrupt the chart. I highlighted each day immediately after exercising (and found I’d actually be looking forward to updating the chart during the exercising). (And today, I told myself I could have a rest day, but I couldn’t face the idea of finishing on a rest day and missing one last Kettlebell, so I got my butt in gear and did it.)

Deciding to do yoga on alternate days definitely helped me stick with it. It didn’t really feel like I was exercising every day because I enjoy the yoga, it’s relatively quick and easy (and unsweaty) and I could also do it in the evening if I didn’t have time in the morning. In fact some days I’d realise just before bed that I hadn’t done the yoga, but I could do a ‘yoga for bedtime’ routine, which I loved.

Another thing that helped was the variety. I didn’t get bored and I didn’t wake up and think “Oh god, not Zumba (or whatever) again”. I allowed myself to switch it up a bit – a couple of days ago, for instance, I was supposed to do Kettlebell (according to the chart), but I was still aching from the Mel B legs workout and I couldn’t face it. So I did Zumba instead and that was fine.

I don’t think I’ve lost any weight – I hadn’t as of last week, anyway – and I haven’t noticed any physically changes yet, but I definitely feel more energetic. The main change for me is that I’ve been inspired to exercise every day. Given that before June I’d probably exercised about five times all year, this has been a huge improvement.

Am I going to keep it up? Part of me sighs at the thought of exercising every day for, like, ever, but I think if I decide to “allow” myself to cut back I’ll end up backsliding completely. So I think I’ll keep going for now.

And I’m totally going to see if the chart works in other areas of my life too.

Story of my life (right now)

This poem – found via Blue Milk – sums up my life right now (only replace the cooking with washing dishes – our kitchen sink is like the pot that wouldn’t stop).

Honestly, every day I start with the best intentions and at the end of the day find I’ve achieved almost precisely nothing and this is why. (Of course, I have the added distraction of The Bermuda Triangle of Productivity, but even so. It’s mostly the kids. It is. Shut up, it is.)

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

By Beth Brubaker

If you give a mom a muffin,

she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it.

She’ll pour herself some.

Her three year-old will come and spill the coffee.

Mom will wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.

She’ll remember she has to do laundry.

When she puts the laundry into the washer,

she’ll trip over shoes and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.

She’ll look for her cookbook

(How to Make 101 Things With a Pound of Hamburger.)

The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.

She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.

She will look for her checkbook.

The checkbook is in her purse,

which is being dumped out by her two year-old.

Then she’ll smell something funny.

She’ll change the two year-old.

While she is changing the two year-old, the phone will ring.

Her five year-old will answer and hang up.

She’ll remember she was supposed to phone a friend

to come over for coffee.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.

She will pour herself some more.

And chances are,

if she has a cup a coffee,

her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Nora

I’ve written about Nora Ephron for Bea today. But there are a few things I wanted to link to here too.

I absolutely LOVE this article from O magazine on the rapture of reading (and I’m so with her on Kavalier & Clay). Also, Nora’s bookshelf.

Ages ago, I googled Nora out of nosiness for inspiration and found this article - My Day on a Plate. My favourite quote: “I don’t think any day is worth living without thinking about what you’re going to eat next at all times.”

I also love this quote: ”I try to write parts for women that are as complicated & interesting as women actually are.”

And this made me laugh. Even though I was crying.

And you’ve probably seen this by now, but I can’t stop thinking about her lists of what she will – and won’t – miss.

What Would Nora Do?

I’m too sad to write anything today – honestly, I feel like I’ve lost a friend, I’ve got a headache from crying on and off since I first heard the news at 6 this morning – but here’s something I posted on this blog last year.

“You do get to a certain point in life where you have to realistically, I think, understand that the days are getting shorter, and you can’t put things off thinking you’ll get to them someday. If you really want to do them, you better do them. There are simply too many people getting sick, and sooner or later you will. So I’m very much a believer in knowing what it is that you love doing so you can do a great deal of it.”

Nora Ephron

Film Director, Producer, Screenwriter, Novelist

(via Swissmiss)

I made this one day when I was feeling particularly in need of inspiration:

Sorkinisms

Still haven’t got the time (or maybe the energy, my head’s addled) for a proper post. I totally meant to write about Harry’s birthday yesterday, but I forgot. But I did write about it for Bea: Harry is eight and I am freaking out.

In other news, I often worry when I’m writing if I’m repeating myself. I’m going to stop worrying about that now.

{via @davidbishop}

52 Books: 50 Shades of Grey by E L James

I hadn’t planned to read it. I downloaded the sample a while ago and couldn’t even finish it – I found it dull, badly-written and, if it was all about the sex, why weren’t they getting on with the sex already? Marian Keyes, who I love, was appalled by it and described it as “Mills & Boon with nipple clamps”. A Twitter friend saw a man reading it on the tube and putting his briefcase in his lap. I thought that was all I needed to know.

But then everyone started talking about it. Everyone. One of the school mums, who’s never mentioned books to me before, asked me about it. I went over to my sister’s and she said all her Facebook friends were reading it (one had written “I can never look at my beautiful children again with the dirty dirty eyes I used to read this book”). We went to a friend’s house and it was there on the table. We went round to family and everyone had either read it or was planning to read it. “Nipple clamps,” I said. “Briefcase. Dirty, dirty eyes!” But I knew I was defeated.

So I downloaded it. And… I enjoyed it. Mostly. Yes, it was badly written, but I’ve read worse. A lot worse. No, really. (However, if you are interested in a takedown on the writing, Fifty Things that Annoy Me about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is a very funny one.)

I don’t get why it’s become such a phenomenon, but sometimes these things happen. I don’t know why The Da Vinci Code took off either.

I was going to write a defence of the whole thing, but then – hurrah! – bookseller Nicole Burstein wrote a brilliant one so I don’t have to: On Fifty Shades of Grey

I do want to add two little things. One is that by “properly published”, Nicole means “traditionally published” because it hasn’t actually been properly published at all. It hasn’t been edited or even copy-edited and a lot of the issues with it (repetition, the infernal “inner goddess”) would have been whisked right out in the edit. The author is taking a lot of flack that should really be aimed at the publisher. I wouldn’t want an unedited manuscript published, thank you very much. (Even typing that makes me feel a bit sick.)

The other thing is in addition to Nicole’s “Fantasy is fantasy” point. Why do people think that the success of this book makes some point about women? I refer you to The Da Vinci Code above? I don’t remember article after article investigating what the success of that book said about masculinity. (In fact, that book was probably predominantly read by women too, wasn’t it. Since most books are.)

Mainly I’m just glad I can now join in every conversation for the next few months. I do hate to feel left out.

Friends

Yesterday was a Flexischool day. I haven’t had a chance to write about what’s happening with Flexischool, but basically I arsed it up a bit and so now I’m trying to get Harry back onside.

Yesterday was also supposed to be Joe’s first day at outdoor preschool, but the weather was so terrible that they suggested we pick him up after lunch so that the incessant rain didn’t put him off ever going back.

So Harry and I dropped Joe off and then drove to Starbucks for breakfast, before heading to Next to buy him some clothes for his holiday. Well. We were in there for over an hour and Harry chose some fabulous stuff (wait til you see his hat). We both spent quite a long time trying on sunglasses and laughed a lot. To Joe, everything is either “Beautiful” or “Disgusting”, to Harry, it’s “Yeah. Fine” or “Horrifying.” Doesn’t do much for my self-esteem, I can tell you. I also picked up a sort of beach dress thing for myself and Harry says Selena Gomez has got the very same one. Er. Great.

From there we went to do some food shopping with Harry adding up the bill as we walked around. We were only in the first aisle, when outdoor preschool phoned and asked me to come and pick Joe up cos he was cold. Stupidly, because it’s June, I’d sent him in a long-sleeved top and coat, not realising that we’d have a freakin’ monsoon.

So Harry and I set off to fetch Joe and I, like a dingbat, headed for the drop-off point, rather than the pick off point. I only realised when we’d gone about ten minutes in the wrong direction. We turned around and headed off in, you know, the right direction, only to find that the road had flooded, cars had broken down and the road was, basically, closed. I phoned preschool to be told that they were calling it a day for the first time since they’d opened and they’d meet us back at the drop-off. Off we went again.

I’ve never seen roads like it. When you think it had only been raining for a few hours, there was standing water everywhere. You’d think drainage would be a priority in this flippin’ country, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, I finally managed to collect Joe and he was cold but happy. He couldn’t wait to tell me he’d seen water running down the roads.

Joe went to bed early and Harry asked if he could stay up with me for a bit. He was busy on the iPad, I had a Thai ready meal, a glass of wine and Friends on the TV. And he’s just such good company. We chatted, we laughed, he tutted when someone on Friends said “Damn” and I thought about how amazing it is that I have this wonderful little friend, who makes me laugh every single day.

I heart the Chrysler Building

Do not watch if you’re afraid of heights!

{via The Kid Should See This}