Maria V. Ciletti's Blog, page 2
September 9, 2014
When it's time to take the car keys.
Safety Tips for Dementia Caregivers
When is it time to take away the car keys?
Driving is a form of independence that many people will not give up easily, regardless of how many times they may have gotten lost or how many fender-bender accidents may have occurred. However, letting an impaired person drive is dangerous, not only to the person with AD, but to everyone else on the road. Taking the keys or the driver’s license from your memory impaired parent or spouse may be a very difficult and heartbreaking task, but in the long run, you will be saving lives.
In the early stages of AD, patients develop increasing difficulty understanding visual images and spatial relationships. People with dementia may have trouble reading, determining color or contrast, or judging distance. All of these issues can present a big problem if your loved one is still driving.
It is Time to Take the Keys When a Person
• Gets lost or disoriented in familiar places.
• Gets frequent traffic tickets and/or has fender bender accidents.
• Drifts in and out of lanes frequently.
• Appears not to see and/or ignores stop signs and traffic signals.
• Gets easily confused in traffic.
• Accelerates or brakes suddenly without reason.
Losing driving privileges can be traumatic, as it severely limits a person’s independent ability to go to church, the store, the senior center, or a friend’s house for some company. More often than not, the patient will not easily agree to give up driving privileges, at least not without an argument.
When this happens, there are additional ways to take the keys legally, by invoking the counsel of others. This is one obstacle where your family physician can help. As a nurse, I have witnessed this struggle many times. Family members of our patients have often asked us, most times in secret, to address the issue at the patient’s regularly scheduled appointment. The American Medical Association (AMA) encourages physicians to offer assistance to caregivers and family members regarding mental or physical conditions, side effects of medications, and other concerns they may have if their loved one is still driving. The AMA also recommends that physicians counsel their patient one on one and even ask for and accept the car keys from their memory-impaired patients. We have done this numerous times in our practice. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn’t. Mature adults often accept recommendations from their physicians when they wouldn’t accept the same recommendation from a family member. An alternative to actually taking the keys from the patient directly, is for the physician to write a medical/cognitive status report which may give you more credibility to the caregiver when trying to convince your loved one that it is not safe for them to drive. The caregiver can take the status report to your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles and any further action or decision regarding your loved one’s driving privileges is determined by the BMV inspectors.
You can also enlist the help of your local police department. Police officers are well aware of these situations and are frequently called to intervene when memory- impaired family members who refuse to give up the car keys. It may be frustrating to the caregiver, but when someone of authority tells the patient what to do, they will comply far more readily than they would with a request from a child or spouse.
The most effective way for a caregiver to handle this difficult situation is to candidly talk with your loved one, trying to get them to voluntarily agree that driving right now is not in their best interest. Your request to take the keys should be based on care and concern for the patient’s safety. Be honest with them and tell them your concerns, such as their memory difficulties, or limited physical ability can make it difficult for them to be safe on the roads. Include alternative solutions regarding transportation, such as riding with family members or using specialized transit minibuses. Let them know that your intention isn’t to take away their freedom. Your intention is to keep them safe. If the person voluntarily surrenders the keys, their driver's license can be exchanged for an identification card at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), a document that can be used for cashing checks, travel, and other identification purposes.
Maria V CilettiI Have to Leave You Now: A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Alzheimer's Disease
When is it time to take away the car keys?
Driving is a form of independence that many people will not give up easily, regardless of how many times they may have gotten lost or how many fender-bender accidents may have occurred. However, letting an impaired person drive is dangerous, not only to the person with AD, but to everyone else on the road. Taking the keys or the driver’s license from your memory impaired parent or spouse may be a very difficult and heartbreaking task, but in the long run, you will be saving lives.
In the early stages of AD, patients develop increasing difficulty understanding visual images and spatial relationships. People with dementia may have trouble reading, determining color or contrast, or judging distance. All of these issues can present a big problem if your loved one is still driving.
It is Time to Take the Keys When a Person
• Gets lost or disoriented in familiar places.
• Gets frequent traffic tickets and/or has fender bender accidents.
• Drifts in and out of lanes frequently.
• Appears not to see and/or ignores stop signs and traffic signals.
• Gets easily confused in traffic.
• Accelerates or brakes suddenly without reason.
Losing driving privileges can be traumatic, as it severely limits a person’s independent ability to go to church, the store, the senior center, or a friend’s house for some company. More often than not, the patient will not easily agree to give up driving privileges, at least not without an argument.
When this happens, there are additional ways to take the keys legally, by invoking the counsel of others. This is one obstacle where your family physician can help. As a nurse, I have witnessed this struggle many times. Family members of our patients have often asked us, most times in secret, to address the issue at the patient’s regularly scheduled appointment. The American Medical Association (AMA) encourages physicians to offer assistance to caregivers and family members regarding mental or physical conditions, side effects of medications, and other concerns they may have if their loved one is still driving. The AMA also recommends that physicians counsel their patient one on one and even ask for and accept the car keys from their memory-impaired patients. We have done this numerous times in our practice. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn’t. Mature adults often accept recommendations from their physicians when they wouldn’t accept the same recommendation from a family member. An alternative to actually taking the keys from the patient directly, is for the physician to write a medical/cognitive status report which may give you more credibility to the caregiver when trying to convince your loved one that it is not safe for them to drive. The caregiver can take the status report to your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles and any further action or decision regarding your loved one’s driving privileges is determined by the BMV inspectors.
You can also enlist the help of your local police department. Police officers are well aware of these situations and are frequently called to intervene when memory- impaired family members who refuse to give up the car keys. It may be frustrating to the caregiver, but when someone of authority tells the patient what to do, they will comply far more readily than they would with a request from a child or spouse.
The most effective way for a caregiver to handle this difficult situation is to candidly talk with your loved one, trying to get them to voluntarily agree that driving right now is not in their best interest. Your request to take the keys should be based on care and concern for the patient’s safety. Be honest with them and tell them your concerns, such as their memory difficulties, or limited physical ability can make it difficult for them to be safe on the roads. Include alternative solutions regarding transportation, such as riding with family members or using specialized transit minibuses. Let them know that your intention isn’t to take away their freedom. Your intention is to keep them safe. If the person voluntarily surrenders the keys, their driver's license can be exchanged for an identification card at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), a document that can be used for cashing checks, travel, and other identification purposes.
Maria V CilettiI Have to Leave You Now: A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Alzheimer's Disease
July 7, 2014
Meet My Main Characters Blog Tour
Meet My Main Characters Blog Tour
I am honored to be invited to participate in Meet My Main Characters Blog Tour by the talented author, Caren Werlinger. I have had the pleasure of reading Caren’s books-Looking Through Windows, Miserere, (my all- time favorite), In This Small Spot, Neither Present Time, Year of the Monsoon.
Check out her books and web site at: http://cjwerlinger.wordpress.com/ Caren Werlinger
Miserere, Neither Present Time and In This Small Spot all won or placed in the 2013 Rainbow Awards
OK, let’s get started. My work-in progress is a 360 degree turn from what I usually write. Previously, I’ve written 5 lesbian romances (The Choice, Clinical Distance, Collide, Entangled and Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?) but this time around I’ve taken on a non-fiction project titled, I Have to Leave You Now- A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Alzheimer’s Disease. This book was inspired by the family members who come to my office each day not knowing what to do or where to turn for help when a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. This book is also a personal account of my own family’s journey taking care of my mother who was diagnosed with AD in 2006.
1) What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person? Since my work in progress is a non- fiction self- help memoir, the main character of the story is me- a forty-something nurse already frazzled running a medical practice and taking care of several terminally ill family members when her mother is diagnosed with early- onset Alzheimer’s disease. I Have to Leave You Now were the last coherent words my mother spoke to me before she lost her battle in 2010. I chose it for the title of this book because it so clearly describes what happens when a loved one is diagnosed with AD- everyday feels like good-bye. The book is written for caregiver’s who are taking care of family or friends with Alzheimer’s disease.
2) When and where is the story set? The story is set in Northeastern Ohio in 2010.
3) What should we know about him/her? That she has been a registered nurse for 32years. That she’s worked in practically every aspect of nursing (from nursing homes to the intensive care unit and now as a medical administrator.) Even with all her experience in the medical field, caring for her mother brought her to her knees…and to a gurney in the emergency room one Christmas day, curled up in the fetal position enduring the worst panic attack of her life.
4) What is the main conflict? The main conflict in the story is how does this caregiver and family take care a loved one with a diagnosis that is cruel, life altering and terminal and come out whole on the other side? So many families are dealing with this on a daily basis. I thought it was important to share my journey and pass on what I learned along the way.
5) What is the personal goal of the character? To take care of her mother and to get through this ordeal without losing herself. She starts off feeling invincible – that she can handle anything Alzheimer’s throws at her. But she soon finds out that taking care of patients with AD is one thing and taking care of someone you love with AD is something totally different. She finds it is impossible to maintain the ‘clinical distance’ that she was taught in nurses training. Her ego and emotions get in the way as she attempts to help her mother through the most difficult challenge of both of their lives with compassion and dignity.
6) Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it? Yes, the title is: I Have to Leave You Now- A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones With Alzheimer's. The manuscript is going through the final edits. I will be posting info on my website once it is finished.
7) When can we expect the book to be published? If all goes right with our publishing schedule, it should be out in the fall, 2014
I've tagged another great author and artist, Doreen Perrine, to discuss the characters of her books. Doreen’s third novel, Kid, will be published by Bedazzled Ink in July! Clara’s Story and Iz's Journey, the sequel to Clara's Story, have been published by Bedazzled Ink in paperback, Kindle, and Nook forms!
http://bink.bedazzledink.com/index.ph...
http://bink.bedazzledink.com/index.ph...
Doreen[author:Caren WerlingerDoreen PerrineCaren Werlinger Perrine]
Check out Doreen’s blog post on July 14.
Take Care,
Maria
www.mariaciletti.com
I am honored to be invited to participate in Meet My Main Characters Blog Tour by the talented author, Caren Werlinger. I have had the pleasure of reading Caren’s books-Looking Through Windows, Miserere, (my all- time favorite), In This Small Spot, Neither Present Time, Year of the Monsoon.
Check out her books and web site at: http://cjwerlinger.wordpress.com/ Caren Werlinger
Miserere, Neither Present Time and In This Small Spot all won or placed in the 2013 Rainbow Awards
OK, let’s get started. My work-in progress is a 360 degree turn from what I usually write. Previously, I’ve written 5 lesbian romances (The Choice, Clinical Distance, Collide, Entangled and Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?) but this time around I’ve taken on a non-fiction project titled, I Have to Leave You Now- A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Alzheimer’s Disease. This book was inspired by the family members who come to my office each day not knowing what to do or where to turn for help when a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. This book is also a personal account of my own family’s journey taking care of my mother who was diagnosed with AD in 2006.
1) What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person? Since my work in progress is a non- fiction self- help memoir, the main character of the story is me- a forty-something nurse already frazzled running a medical practice and taking care of several terminally ill family members when her mother is diagnosed with early- onset Alzheimer’s disease. I Have to Leave You Now were the last coherent words my mother spoke to me before she lost her battle in 2010. I chose it for the title of this book because it so clearly describes what happens when a loved one is diagnosed with AD- everyday feels like good-bye. The book is written for caregiver’s who are taking care of family or friends with Alzheimer’s disease.
2) When and where is the story set? The story is set in Northeastern Ohio in 2010.
3) What should we know about him/her? That she has been a registered nurse for 32years. That she’s worked in practically every aspect of nursing (from nursing homes to the intensive care unit and now as a medical administrator.) Even with all her experience in the medical field, caring for her mother brought her to her knees…and to a gurney in the emergency room one Christmas day, curled up in the fetal position enduring the worst panic attack of her life.
4) What is the main conflict? The main conflict in the story is how does this caregiver and family take care a loved one with a diagnosis that is cruel, life altering and terminal and come out whole on the other side? So many families are dealing with this on a daily basis. I thought it was important to share my journey and pass on what I learned along the way.
5) What is the personal goal of the character? To take care of her mother and to get through this ordeal without losing herself. She starts off feeling invincible – that she can handle anything Alzheimer’s throws at her. But she soon finds out that taking care of patients with AD is one thing and taking care of someone you love with AD is something totally different. She finds it is impossible to maintain the ‘clinical distance’ that she was taught in nurses training. Her ego and emotions get in the way as she attempts to help her mother through the most difficult challenge of both of their lives with compassion and dignity.
6) Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it? Yes, the title is: I Have to Leave You Now- A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones With Alzheimer's. The manuscript is going through the final edits. I will be posting info on my website once it is finished.
7) When can we expect the book to be published? If all goes right with our publishing schedule, it should be out in the fall, 2014
I've tagged another great author and artist, Doreen Perrine, to discuss the characters of her books. Doreen’s third novel, Kid, will be published by Bedazzled Ink in July! Clara’s Story and Iz's Journey, the sequel to Clara's Story, have been published by Bedazzled Ink in paperback, Kindle, and Nook forms!
http://bink.bedazzledink.com/index.ph...
http://bink.bedazzledink.com/index.ph...
Doreen[author:Caren WerlingerDoreen PerrineCaren Werlinger Perrine]
Check out Doreen’s blog post on July 14.
Take Care,
Maria
www.mariaciletti.com
