Sam Barry's Blog, page 9
September 14, 2010
San Francisco Weirdness
I live in San Francisco, which means I don't have to run away to join the circus, because it's already here. We even have the necessary educational infrastructure—the Clown School of San Francisco.
This is a town that values diversity. We will accept just about anyone as they are, except for Republicans. A certain amount of eccentricity among the citizenry has always been the norm in San Francisco, going back to the time of Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. Emperor Norton was completely out of his mind, so he fit right in. He marched around the city in his emperor costume issuing decrees and even his own currency, which shopkeepers accepted. Maybe he wasn't so crazy, after all.
Not that I am saying we are all crazy in San Francisco; I have met several perfectly sane people at the airport. But there are a lot of weird people here. I hasten to add that I use the term weird in the most loving sense.
Some of our local characters are really quite classy. Marian and Vivian Brown are identical twins who are famous for strolling around the city wearing identical outfits, including matching hats and hairdos. That's it. Long before reality television these two figured out you could be famous for no apparent reason. The Brown sisters aren't just out walking for the fun of it—all these years they have been looking for a pair of snappily-dressed identical twin men. They've actually found quite a few, but all of them were gay.
Then there is Frank Chu, the 12 Galaxy Guy. Frank spends his days carrying a sign around San Francisco that always says something of grave importance to the body politic. It used to say "impeach Bill Clinton in 12 galaxies"—and this was years after Clinton left office. Once our band Los Train Wreck was playing a gig at a nightclub called "12 Galaxies," named, as a matter of fact, for Frank and his message, and in-between sets he got up and gave a ten minute talk. He didn't make a lick of sense, but the speech was well delivered.
My favorite San Francisco eccentric is Pink Man, aka Michael Maxfield, renowned for wearing a shocking pink unitard and riding around the Bay Area on a unicycle. Pink Man is a master of the unicycle, and I have spent years mastering the harmonica; I feel this makes us kindred spirits. Maybe I should start playing in a Day-Glo unitard.
I think San Francisco's dottiness is caused by all the fault lines. The earth isn't stable, and neither are we. But the occasional tremor aside, it's a great place to live. I've lived in other cities, and they all have much to offer, but San Francisco is unique—in 12 galaxies. Now, where's my unitard?
September 6, 2010
Women Are So Much More Mature than Men
Last week we were in Mexico at the beautiful rustic health resort Rancho La Puerta. Led by our fearless captain, author and publicist Leslie Levine, and working alongside top literary agent Joëlle Delbourgo, Kathi and I made our annual pilgrimage to "the ranch" to do presentations on writing and publishing—and since Kathi and I were involved and we can't help ourselves, to put on a ...
August 28, 2010
The Daily Sam: Harmonica Magic
I've been playing the harmonica a long time now—72 hours straight—and boy is my tongue tired. I started playing the harmonica when I was a kid, with no instruction beyond the little piece of paper that came with the harmonica explaining how to play a couple of folk songs. My first harmonicas were a model called the Marine Band, and they had a picture of an actual Marine Band on the box. ...
August 23, 2010
The Importance of Dives
Every month I have the privilege of playing with a group of accomplished musicians in a band we call Los Train Wreck at El Rio, a venerable bar in San Francisco's Mission District that boasts the motto "Your Dive" over the doorway. We are a fine band made up of gifted musicians, but our role in El Rio is to be the backup band for jammers—to "make you sound good," as we say in our ...
August 14, 2010
The Daily Sam: Is America Still Great?
There is a palpable fear in America that our nation is approaching some cataclysm, that the current recession represents an irreversible decline, and that we are helpless to do much about it. Some think we are losing our edge to China, India, or Brazil; that they are going to beat us at the global political, economic game. We are a nation of has-beens, a country without vision or purpose, ...
August 4, 2010
The Daily Sam: Byram Hills High School Class of '75 Reunion, Episode II
As Episode 1 drew to a close, I was stepping on to the stage at Byram Hiils High School in Armonk, New York to address the assembled students and teachers as a candidate for student council president, having been nominated by an ad hoc committee of my friends (who definitely were not at all interested in student government and who acted without my knowledge). I was wearing my friend's ...
July 30, 2010
Byram Hills High School Class of '75 Reunion, Episode I
I attended a high school reunion this past weekend. It wasn't mine—it was this guy Norman's, and I had a great time absolutely ruining his reputation.Just kidding. I attended my own high school reunion, of course (why would you attend someone else's?), and it was a delightful, feel-good event. We met in Armonk, New York, a town 35 miles north of the city, which is odd, considering we all ...
July 20, 2010
The Daily Sam: You Bet Your Life
The world's many religions are, when you come right down, utter nonsense. For instance, I've made some attempt to understand Kabbalah, but I've always failed. Take this saying: "The Breath becomes a stone; the stone, a plant; the plant, an animal; the animal, a man; the man, a spirit; and the spirit, a god." To me this is mystical religion with Groucho Marx as the high priest and Yogi ...
July 13, 2010
The Daily Sam: LeBron James in 12 Galaxies
So much ink has been spilled by sportswriters over LeBron James's decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers to play with the Miami Heat that there is talk of a second ecological disaster rivaling the oil spill in the Gulf. Even serious news outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Washington Post, and The North Castle News have offered extensive commentary on James's decision. ...
July 6, 2010
The Daily Sam: The Joy of Baking
A matter of great consequence has come to my attention; something so important to the future of the United States that I could not in good conscience remain silent. I am, as you have no doubt already guessed, referring to the Wilton Dimensions® Giant Cupcake Pan. This ground-breaking kitchen device was brought to my attention by Dwight Been, a designer at HarperOne and a former member of ...
