Beverly D. Flaxington's Blog, page 8
March 12, 2013
The Lens Tells the Story
It’s that time of year again – the time when I get the “reviews” from my students on how I have performed as their teacher. Reading the comments is a fascinating experience for me. One student says, “This teacher is the best one in this school,” while another one says, “This teacher has no personality and is difficult to understand.” How can the best teacher in the school have no personality? Some students claim this is a life-changing course, and others claim it is boring and useless.
February 27, 2013
Being Right
It feels good, doesn’t it? When someone says to you, “You were right.” We like to have our expertise, our opinion, and our perspective validated. Sometimes we feel almost prescient – “I just knew he was going to be a creep!” Or “I thought something funny was going on at work; now I know the business is in trouble.”
February 8, 2013
You’re Not Like Me, But I Might Like You Anyway
This week I read about a cute new book that’s out for children. It’s called “I’m Like You, You’re Like Me”, by Cindy Gainer. I’ve not read it, but apparently it’s to help children understand and value the ways in which they are the same and also different. Reading the title brought me around to the work I do in behavioral and values (motivators). The truth is that we aren’t like one another, at least from the outward appearances of what we convey and how we talk about what is important to us.
January 29, 2013
Telling Stories
One of the women I coach at one of my client firms was telling me a story earlier this month about another individual in her office. She was sharing some “odd” behaviors that this person was displaying, and then explaining to me her view on what was going on with that individual. The person was lashing out at people in meetings and generally being disruptive and difficult. My client told me that it was because the person was fed up with the craziness in their work environment and was finally losing their cool because of how dysfunctional it all was.
January 24, 2013
You Make Me Feel (Like Dancing?)
One of the most upbeat songs I remember from my youth was “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing,” sung by Leo Sayer. The tune was peppy, the words were great, and I used to love to sing along at the top of my lungs as it played on the radio. The idea that someone in my life could make me feel so thrilled and exuberant was, as a child, always such a hopeful idea.
January 14, 2013
What Do They See? What Will They Do?
The hardest job I have ever had is that of parent. I don’t want my children to learn from my mistakes, and I don’t want them to make the same mistakes that I do. But I do realize that they are watching me at all times. They are learning about how to treat people, how to be in relationships, about work ethics and a host of other life approaches just by watching what I am doing every day. Now I realize that it’s not all about me and my children are also learning from others, but as their mom I know that how I act is very important in their development.
January 4, 2013
What Have You Done?
It’s 2013 – a new year. Over the Christmas holidays I love listening to the music – I am still playing many of my favorites. One of the all-time most inspiring songs for me is John Lennon’s “So This is Christmas”. The lyrics have the line, “So this is Christmas and what have you done? Another year over and a new one just begun.” Every single time I hear those words, I stop to think, “What have I done?” Have I been kinder? Have I been more compassionate? Have I shown more patience toward others?
December 4, 2012
Watching Motives
I consider myself to be a nice person (my filter). I like to help other people and will bend over backwards to be agreeable and giving wherever I can. My husband would say that I give “too much”! So, what’s the problem? Isn’t it good to be giving and gracious wherever possible? The problem is that when we give out of a feeling of guilt or responsibility, and not from the heart, we can end up feeling resentful.
November 14, 2012
Nice or Not?
There is an often used word we apply to other people: “nice”. What is the definition of nice? Do we ever think about it? According to dictionary.com, this simple word actually covers many things, but a few are: pleasing, agreeable, delightful, amiably pleasant and kind. These seem like basic words that we all understand, but isn’t it fascinating how in one venue a person can be so “nice” and in another, they aren’t “nice” at all?
November 6, 2012
Fear of Loss
In these waning days before the election, I have noticed the hyperbole on my Facebook page increasing significantly. Whatever candidate one is for, the other guy or gal is not just “wrong”, they are bordering on “evil”. The idea of polite discourse seems to have gone out the window. Friends who post a comment, and hear from another friend who disagrees, resort to insults and personal attacks.
