Marty Nemko's Blog, page 421

David's Saga: A continuing series on work today. Episode 6: Brainstorm

In the previous episode, David's idea of  selling meatball sandwiches met an early demise upon seeing the thousands of regulations in the California Retail Food Code.

So David and Susan were back in brainstorming mode:

"Maybe I should think big, like start a school?" David offered.

"If starting a meatball cart meant thousands of regulations, what do you think start a school would require?"

 "If I can't beat em, maybe I should join 'em: become a government restaurant inspector. I'm sure there'd be plenty inspecting that was needed...or at least required."

 "How about a less dramatic change, a small pivot from marketing research on t-shirts to something a little more meaningful like market research on drugs?"

"Legal ones?  Don't have the background. I'd have to go back for years of calculus, physics, biology. I don't think so.

"What about pot?" There's a big nationwide legalization push. The media's totally pushing it."

"I've turned around on that: Legalization increases use, big-time, including kids. And the dangers are far worse than the advocates would have us believe. Plus, the black market wouldn't go away: Because legal pot is heavily taxed, the black market would grow because it sells pot tax-free, cheaper. So legalization merely increases the number of ways for kids to get pot."

"Let's get high," Susan chuckled.

"Maybe I should take a month off, do some new things around some new people, let planned serendipity happen: take a short course in something, like photography or voiceover maybe."

"Oh that will help you make a living. Ten million people pay 10 grand a piece to learn voiceover and 9,999,990 never make enough to even pay for the training let alone make a middle-class living from voiceover. And nine of the ten that do were already successful actors."

"I could get go to MeetUps, join some committee at church..."

"You could  join Sierra Club, go on birdwatching hikes and stuff."

"The only people I'd meet would be retired tree sitters. Not exactly the best source of career leads."

"Hey, we could go on a cruise. You meet lots of rich, well-connected people on a cruise"

"And gain 10 pounds. Just what I need after my heart attack. By the way, those fuckers at Blue Cross still are asking for more documentation before they pay the bills. I think they're trying to give me another heart attack. Seriously, I do hear insurance companies try to keep stalling and asking for more documentation hoping the patient will just give up or die. Fuckers."

"Your father suggested you join Rotary."

"What, and wear a fez?"

That's the Shriners. Rotary is just a bunch of middle-class people, mainly small business owners, who get together to raise money for charity and to network...Actually, the thought of taking a few months to sort things out is sounding pretty good. I've been working non-stop ever since I was a teenager."

How about making it a month? Objects at rest tend to...

Okay, a month. A lot can happen in a month.

HERE is the next episode.

David's Saga: A continuing series on work today. Episode 5: Regulation

David and Susan were excited about the idea of starting a business selling the world's best meatball sandwiches. They'd call it Balls of Joy.  

But the joy dissipated when they looked at the 105-page California Retail Food Code. Among its thousands of regulations they found this page-worth particularly depressing:

114149.1.
(a) Mechanical exhaust ventilation equipment shall be provided over all cooking equipment as required to effectively remove cooking odors, smoke, steam, grease, heat, and vapors. All mechanical exhaust ventilation equipment shall be installed and maintained in accordance with the California Mechanical Code, except that for units subject to Part 2 (commencing with Section 18000) of Division 13, an alternative code adopted pursuant to Section 18028 shall govern the construction standards

114149.2 (a)
Every hood shall be installed to provide for thorough cleaning of all interior and exterior surfaces, including, but not limited to, the hood, filters, piping, lights, troughs, hangers, flanges, and exhaust ducts

114205
(a) Nonpermanent food facilities that handle unprepackaged food shall be equipped with potable water and wastewater tanks. Water tanks shall be designed with an access port for inspection and cleaning. The access port shall be in the top of the tank and flanged upward at least one-half inch and equipped with a port cover assembly that is provided with a gasket and a device for securing the cover in place and flanged to overlap the opening and sloped to drain.

114311. Mobile food facilities not under a valid permit as of January 1, 1997, from which nonprepackaged food is sold shall provide handwashing facilities. The handwashing facilities shall be separate from the warewashing sink.
(b) The handwashing facility shall be separated from the warewashing sink by a metal splashguard with a height of at least six inches that extends from the back edge of the drainboard to the front edge of the drainboard, the corners of the barrier to be rounded.

114313.
(a) Except as specified in subdivisions (b) and (c), a mobile food facility where nonprepackaged food is cooked, blended, or otherwise prepared shall provide a warewashing sink with at least three compartments with two integral metal drainboards.
(1) The dimensions of each compartment shall be large enough to accommodate the cleaning of the largest utensil and either of the following:
(A) At least 12 inches wide, 12 inches long, and 10 inches deep.
(B) At least 10 inches wide, 14 inches long, and 10 inches deep.
(2) Each drainboard shall be at least the size of one of the sink compartments. The drainboards shall be installed with at least one-eighth inch per foot slope toward the sink compartment, and fabricated with a minimum of one-
half inch lip or rim to prevent the draining liquid from spilling onto the floor.
(3) The sink shall be equipped with a mixing faucet and shall be provided with a swivel spigot capable of servicing all sink compartments

14099 (e)
Manual sanitization shall be accomplished in the final sanitizing rinse by one of the following:
(a) Immersion for at least 30 seconds where the water temperature is maintained at 171 degrees fahrenheit or above.
(b) The application of sanitizing chemicals by immersion, manual swabbing, or brushing, using
one of the following solutions:
(1) Contact with a solution of 100 ppm available chlorine solution for at least 30 seconds.
(2) Contact with a solution of 25 ppm available iodine for at least one minute.
(3) Contact with a solution of 200 ppm quaternary ammonium for at least one minute.
(4) Contact with any chemical sanitizer that meets the requirements of
Section 180.940 of Title 40 of the Code of Federal Regulations when used in accordance with the manufacturer's use directions.
(5)  Other methods approved by the enforcement agency.

114325
(a) Except on a mobile food facility that only utilizes the water for handwashing purposes, a water heater or an instantaneous heater capable of heating water to a minimum of 120 degrees fahrenheit interconnected with a potable water supply, shall be provided and shall operate independently of the vehicle engine.

114295.(b) 
All mobile food facilities shall operate in conjunction with a commissary, mobile support unit, or other facility approved by the enforcement agency.

Susan said, "To make a profit, we'd have to charge $50 per meatball." 

David added, "And it would take a year of no income to work on getting the cart until where the government would let us charge $50 per meatball. So our hourly wage for that year  would be, if we were lucky, 10 cents an hour. 

Susan said, "Hey, that's below minimum wage. We could sue ourselves for violation of the Wages and Hours Act."

So the food business was out. But now what?

The next episode is posted HERE.

David's Saga: a continuing series on work today: Episode 4: Meatballs

A month after his heart attack, David returned to work. Alas, as articles he had Googled indicated, he found that his cognitive functioning wasn't what it was, nor was his energy level.

So it wasn't a total surprise when The Big Enchilada made him part of the next round of layoffs. For a moment, he considered invoking the Americans with Disabilities Act but doing that would violate one of his core beliefs: that a person should be employed only on the merits not because some law protects him or her. After all, if a law forces the employer to keep an employee when he could find someone better, it means a more qualified person is denied the job, the coworkers are denied a better coworker and instead may need to carry part of the employee's load, an  the company's products or services end up worse, thereby hurting the customers and shareholders. No, David knew he had to go quietly.

But now what? Despite weeks with plenty of time to think about it, David didn't know.

His wife Susan suggested he consider a lower-level job in his field: "David, big-data analytics is a super-competitive field. How about some easier marketing job?" But that would make his descent too obvious to himself. He needed something completely different.

But who the hell would hire him at any sort of decent salary doing something completely different, in which he had no training or experience, especially with his now-just-average cognitive functioning and energy?

Should he go back to school? He hadn't been in school for 20 years and now, with his memory not so good, it seemed too daunting. Besides, those years in school would not only be years without income but would cost him serious dollars in tuition. And of course, there's degree proliferation: Today, it seems everyone has a college degree and nearly everyone has a graduate degree. Getting a master's in something would not sufficiently differentiate him, let alone be the wisest use of his time and money, even assuming he could get into and complete a decent master's program.

"Well maybe I should start my own business? But what? And most businesses fail, especially those run by people who are starting their first business. Jeez, I haven't even shown any entrepreneurial interest. As a kid, I never even had a lemonade stand."

But Susan said, "Why don't we try a really simple business like selling meatball sandwiches from a cart near a train station. You always said my meatballs were the best in the world."

Figuring there was nothing to lose by writing a one-page mini-business plan, they did. They even came up with a name, an, ahem, ballsy name: Balls of Joy. And for the first time in a long time, David got excited and Susan got excited...until they encountered one pound that threw cold water on their meatballs: The California Food Code. 

Episode 5 is HERE.

David's Saga: a continuing series about life at work today: Episode 4: Meatballs

A month after his heart attack, David returned to work. Alas, as articles he had Googled indicated, he found that his cognitive functioning wasn't what it was, nor was his energy level.

So it wasn't a total surprise when The Big Enchilada made him part of the next round of layoffs. For a moment, he considered invoking the Americans with Disabilities Act but doing that would violate one of his core beliefs: that a person should be employed only on the merits not because some law protects him or her. After all, if a law forces the employer to keep an employee when he could find someone better, it means a more qualified person is denied the job, the coworkers are denied a better coworker and instead may need to carry part of the employee's load, an  the company's products or services end up worse, thereby hurting the customers and shareholders. No, David knew he had to go quietly.

But now what? Despite weeks with plenty of time to think about it, David didn't know.

His wife Susan suggested he consider a lower-level job in his field: "David, big-data analytics is a super-competitive field. How about some easier marketing job?" But that would make his descent too obvious to himself. He needed something completely different.

But who the hell would hire him at any sort of decent salary doing something completely different, in which he had no training or experience, especially with his now-just-average cognitive functioning and energy?

Should he go back to school? He hadn't been in school for 20 years and now, with his memory not so good, it seemed too daunting. Besides, those years in school would not only be years without income but would cost him serious dollars in tuition. And of course, there's degree proliferation: Today, it seems everyone has a college degree and nearly everyone has a graduate degree. Getting a master's in something would not sufficiently differentiate him, let alone be the wisest use of his time and money, even assuming he could get into and complete a decent master's program.

"Well maybe I should start my own business? But what? And most businesses fail, especially those run by people who are starting their first business. Jeez, I haven't even shown any entrepreneurial interest. As a kid, I never even had a lemonade stand."

But Susan said, "Why don't we try a really simple business like selling meatball sandwiches from a cart near a train station. You always said my meatballs were the best in the world."

Figuring there was nothing to lose by writing a one-page mini-business plan, they did. They even came up with a name, an, ahem, ballsy name: Balls of Joy. And for the first time in a long time, David got excited and Susan got excited...until they encountered one pound that threw cold water on their meatballs: The California Food Code. 

I plan to write Episode 5 tomorrow (Saturday, Feb. 7)

David's Saga, a continuing series on work today. Episode 3: Heart-to-Heart

Mike had already been told he was adios. Big Enchilada acts fast--she was trained that bosses, especially female bosses, need to be seen as decisive.

Confident he'd never get laid off, Mike had agreed when his wife said she wanted to stay at home. After all, he was working for a big, solid company and he could program in Python, Ruby, C, Visual Basic, and Hadoop--among the most in-demand languages. And while no one could accuse him of being a workaholic or a ninja programmer, he certainly wasn't a vacant lay-about.

Mike's ending up on The List was pretty much bad luck. If only that up-and-comer hadn't tried to show how cost-conscious he was by suggesting that The Company could find plenty programmers with five-star customer ratings on ODesk for 20 bucks an hour, no benefits, no security of employment.

David was no hugger but this was one of those rare times he actually wanted to hug the person, not as the now-obligatory evidence of being a modern male but because he truly felt for Mike...and maybe to soothe himself. After all, if one comment could put a good employee like Mike on the unemployment line, all it would take is for some coworker to say, "David's relentless snarkiness is hurting morale" and he too would be pounding the pavement. And David couldn't bear to be Mr. Mom and collect unemployment checks.

Suddenly, David felt pressure in his chest. "Probably just the stress of thinking my job might not be so secure." But when the pain shot up into his neck and down his left arm, he knew he was having a heart attack.  "Mike, call 911."

HERE is the link to Episode 4.

David's Saga, a continuing series about life at work today. Episode 3: Heart-to-Heart

Mike had already been told he was adios. Big Enchilada acts fast--she was trained that bosses, especially female bosses, need to be seen as decisive.

Confident he'd never get laid off, Mike had agreed when his wife said she wanted to stay at home. After all, he was working for a big, solid company and he could program in Python, Ruby, C, Visual Basic, and Hadoop--among the most in-demand languages. And while no one could accuse him of being a workaholic or a ninja programmer, he certainly wasn't a vacant lay-about.

Mike's ending up on The List was pretty much bad luck. If only that up-and-comer hadn't tried to show how cost-conscious he was by suggesting that The Company could find plenty programmers with five-star customer ratings on ODesk for 20 bucks an hour, no benefits, no security of employment.

David was no hugger but this was one of those rare times he actually wanted to hug the person, not as the now-obligatory evidence of being a modern male but because he truly felt for Mike...and maybe to soothe himself. After all, if one comment could put a good employee like Mike on the unemployment line, all it would take is for some coworker to say, "David's relentless snarkiness is hurting morale" and he too would be pounding the pavement. And David couldn't bear to be Mr. Mom and collect unemployment checks.

Suddenly, David felt pressure in his chest. "Probably just the stress of thinking my job might not be so secure." But when the pain shot up into his neck and down his left arm, he knew he was having a heart attack.  "Mike, call 911."

HERE is the link to Episode 4.

David's Saga, a continuing series on work today: Episode 2: Layoff

David feigned confidence as he strode into the conference room. The others was there--16 people. "What a fucking waste--16 people in a meeting?!  With that many, everyone knows they're not important. Why doesn't she just send an email?"

Big Enchilada, in a meager sop to flattened hierarchy, sat in the middle instead of at the head of the still rectangular table.

David noticed that mostly they were strong employees and so was relieved. "Good, it's probably not a mass firing. But something's up. This doesn't feel like one of those dog-and-pony show, CYA meetings. People are sitting straighter."

He was right. Big Enchilada said, "Headquarters needs to reduce headcount again. We need to cut five more. I don't want to do it unilaterally (another meager sop) so let's brainstorm who. I need to stress that these are all good people, we'll give them a good reference and..."

David couldn't bear it: "Stop with the 'how great the corporation is and let's fucking get on with it."
The others weren't surprised at David's outburst. It was quintessential David and only he, resident rock star, could get away with it. A lesser light would long have been "laid off" as "not a team player," "lacking people skills," or some other euphemism for being too honest to fit into the typical workplace.

The hatchet squad put all the Possibles under the microscope. Some were spared rationally, others irrationally. "She's young blood. I'd hate to let her go." and "We can't afford to lose an African-American. We're 'underrepresented,' plus if we cut him, there's a chance he'll sue. We have less risk with a white."  David was tempted to say "White privilege, my ass." But in today's environment, he knew that, even for him, that was risky.

In less than an hour, the goners had been picked. David found some solace in, "The good ones will get snapped up elsewhere. The others will get a zillion weeks of paid vacation on unemployment."  But then he realized that he, the taxpayer, is paying for that long vacation. His blood pressure went up again---He knew someone who, every time they extended unemployment said, "Good, now I don't have to look for a job for another few months. Or at least I can hold out for a cushy gig." Working people paying to discourage the unemployed from looking for work or accepting only cushy work?  That's fucked up."

David trudged--at that moment, a trudge could be forgiven--back to his cube but couldn't make himself focus: "Who gives a fuck what variable would explain more variance in 12-16-year old's Facebook-linked tee shirt purchases." But reminded that if he stopped being so productive, he too could be axed, he forced himself to stare at the file...until Mike, one of those on death row, trudged, yes trudged, into his cube.

HERE is the link to Episode 3.

David's Saga, a continuing series about life at work today: Episode 2: Layoff

David feigned confidence as he strode into the conference room. The others was there--16 people. "What a fucking waste--16 people in a meeting?!  With that many, everyone knows they're not important. Why doesn't she just send an email?"

Big Enchilada, in a meager sop to flattened hierarchy, sat in the middle instead of at the head of the still rectangular table.

David noticed that mostly they were strong employees and so was relieved. "Good, it's probably not a mass firing. But something's up. This doesn't feel like one of those dog-and-pony show, CYA meetings. People are sitting straighter."

He was right. Big Enchilada said, "Headquarters needs to reduce headcount again. We need to cut five more. I don't want to do it unilaterally (another meager sop) so let's brainstorm who. I need to stress that these are all good people, we'll give them a good reference and..."

David couldn't bear it: "Stop with the 'how great the corporation is and let's fucking get on with it."
The others weren't surprised at David's outburst. It was quintessential David and only he, resident rock star, could get away with it. A lesser light would long have been "laid off" as "not a team player," "lacking people skills," or some other euphemism for being too honest to fit into the typical workplace.

The hatchet squad put all the Possibles under the microscope. Some were spared rationally, others irrationally. "She's young blood. I'd hate to let her go." and "We can't afford to lose an African-American. We're 'underrepresented,' plus if we cut him, there's a chance he'll sue. We have less risk with a white."  David was tempted to say "White privilege, my ass." But in today's environment, he knew that, even for him, that was risky.

In less than an hour, the goners had been picked. David found some solace in, "The good ones will get snapped up elsewhere. The others will get a zillion weeks of paid vacation on unemployment."  But then he realized that he, the taxpayer, is paying for that long vacation. His blood pressure went up again---He knew someone who, every time they extended unemployment said, "Good, now I don't have to look for a job for another few months. Or at least I can hold out for a cushy gig." Working people paying to discourage the unemployed from looking for work or accepting only cushy work?  That's fucked up."

David trudged--at that moment, a trudge could be forgiven--back to his cube but couldn't make himself focus: "Who gives a fuck what variable would explain more variance in 12-16-year old's Facebook-linked tee shirt purchases." But reminded that if he stopped being so productive, he too could be axed, he forced himself to stare at the file...until Mike, one of those on death row, trudged, yes trudged, into his cube.

HERE is the link to Episode 3.

David's Saga: a continuing series on work today: Episode 1: "Open" Workspaces

David's Saga will embed unvarnished realities and principles of making it in today's tough work world plus my opinions on all manner of things. 

I hope it's more enjoyable as well as more helpful than if I presented these ideas in yet another how-to article or public policy essay.

EPISODE 1: "Open" Workspaces
As usual, David awakes grateful: grateful that he's alive, grateful he's well, and grateful he has a decent job.

Expected to help his wife, Susan, get the kids ready for school even though she only works part-time while he works very full-time, he tries to get his son Damien, to take his own cereal but he likes being served and so throws fits. Too often, Susan gives in, frustrating the hell out of David.

He's grateful to finally escape into his car--Even sitting in gridlock is preferable to his home's morning madness. But gridlock raises his blood pressure too. He's angry not at the drivers but at the damn transportation planners for--in an utterly vain attempt to stop global warming--refusing to build more freeways so--a la slowly ratcheted-up torture--we're forced out of our cars and into the much more time-consuming and sardined mass transit. David would rather sit in gridlock in the sanctuary of his car.

He arrives at the double-glass doors. "It's showtime," he reminds himself.  He pastes his corporate-acceptable smile and makes corporate-acceptable greetings to coworkers as he strides to his cube. In corporate America, especially if you're 40+, you may not trudge, you must stride. But not too fast--that would make you seem insufficiently controlled, just a moderate stride, with good posture: chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest out. As Cosmo founder Helen Gurley Brown said, "After 40, it all comes down to posture."

HR had sent an email indicating they might finally listen to employees' pleas to add high walls to the cubes. David thought, "What a stupid idea: "open space workplaces.". Yeah, it lets us collaborate, if listening to people blab about their kids is the sort of collaboration you want. But you can't think, let alone get work done." But it's been six months since HR sent that memo and, no surprise, still no wallettes, let alone walls. "I guess they're too busy revamping the corporate mission statement. After all, it's hard to justify keeping "People are our most important product," when they keep announcing layoffs to reduce headcount, oops, "rightsizing the organization."

No sooner does David's butt hit his chair when a colleague comes in: "The Big Enchilada wants to see us in five."

"That can't be good. Will I still have a job?"


HERE is the link to Episode 2.

David's Saga: a continuing series about life at work today: Episode 1: "Open" Workspaces

David's Saga will embed unvarnished realities and principles of making it in today's tough work world plus my opinions on all manner of things. 

I hope it's more enjoyable as well as more helpful than if I presented these ideas in yet another how-to article or public policy essay.

EPISODE 1: "Open" Workspaces
As usual, David awakes grateful: grateful that he's alive, grateful he's well, and grateful he has a decent job.

Expected to help his wife, Susan, get the kids ready for school even though she only works part-time while he works very full-time, he tries to get his kids, 5 and 7, to take their own cereal but they like being served and so throw fits. Too often, Susan gives in, frustrating the hell out of David.

He's grateful to finally escape into his car--Even sitting in gridlock is preferable to his home's morning madness. But gridlock raises his blood pressure too. He's angry not at the drivers but at the damn transportation planners for--in an utterly vain attempt to stop global warming--refusing to build more freeways so--a la slowly ratcheted-up torture--we're forced out of our cars and into the much more time-consuming and sardined mass transit. David would rather sit in gridlock in the sanctuary of his car.

He arrives at the double-glass doors. "It's showtime," he reminds himself.  He pastes his corporate-acceptable smile and makes corporate-acceptable greetings to coworkers as he strides to his cube. In corporate America, especially if you're 40+, you may not trudge, you must stride. But not too fast--that would make you seem insufficiently controlled, just a moderate stride, with good posture: chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest out. As Cosmo founder Helen Gurley Brown said, "After 40, it all comes down to posture."

HR had sent an email indicating they might finally listen to employees' pleas to add high walls to the cubes. David thought, "What a stupid idea: "open space workplaces.". Yeah, it lets us collaborate, if listening to people blab about their kids is the sort of collaboration you want. But you can't think, let alone get work done." But it's been six months since HR sent that memo and, no surprise, still no wallettes, let alone walls. "I guess they're too busy revamping the corporate mission statement. After all, it's hard to justify keeping "People are our most important product," when they keep announcing layoffs to reduce headcount, oops, "rightsizing the organization."

No sooner does David's butt hit his chair when a colleague comes in: "The Big Enchilada wants to see us in five."

"That can't be good. Will I still have a job?"


HERE is the link to Episode 2.