Marty Nemko's Blog, page 168

How to Make Your Holiday Cards Actually Appreciated

Holiday cards are rife with danger—well, at least rife with the potential for eye-rolling.My Psychology Today article today offers suggestions for ensuring yours is appreciated.

The Art of Fighting With Your Partner: not caring, an affair, substance abuse

My recent posts offered sample dialogues for dealing with conflicts about sex, parenting, spending, and relatives.

In my Psychology Today article today, we turn to three other sources of conflict: lack of caring, having an affair, and substance abuse. As with the previous installments, I note embedded principles.

How to Fight Nicely

John and Julie Gottman have studied relationships for 40 years. They have concluded that key to a relationship's success is not whether the couple has conflicts because all couples do, but how they're addressed. In a recent post, I offer a sample dialogue, but the example was a relatively easy one: The partners disagree about how often to see the relatives.

My Psychology Today article today presents three thornier conflicts: about sex, about money, and about parenting. Most of my clients learn best by example, so it provides sample dialogues plus the embedded principles.

Do You Often Succumb to Self-Serving Bias?

Self-serving bias occurs when you overestimate your role in your positive outcomes and overestimate the power of external factors in your negative outcomes. My Psychology Today article today helps you reduce that bias so you can more rationally plan next steps forward.

Brian Tracy on Self-Discipline

Brian Tracy has written 80 self-help books, with a core interest in self-discipline. He distilled his advice on that in a video: 5 Hacks to Improve Self-Discipline This Year.

My Psychology Today article today describes those five, plus my yes-ands and yes-buts.

4 Keys to Making a Relationship Work: John and Julie Gottman's core ideas plus my yes-ands and yes-buts.

John and Julie Gottman have studied, with unusual rigor and for 40+ years now, what makes relationships work. Their findings are summarized in the book Eight Dates. That refers to regularly scheduled meetings in which the couple talks respectfully about big issues: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. A few of my clients, as well as my wife and I have done some variant of the eight dates, and we all feel it's been worthwhile. 

The book also emphasizes other keys to a successful relationship. I describe them plus my yes-ands and yes-buts in my Psychology Today article today.

Might the UNexamined Life Be Worth Living? Might Ignorance Be Bliss?

People who live the examined life gain more insight into themselves and the world but may not be happier. Might a case for the unexamined life be worthy? I muse on that in my Psychology Today article today.

Do You Want to be More of a Spender or a Saver? Questions to help you achieve your spending goals.

Some people would like to control their tendency to overspend, while others are ready to free themselves from undue frugality.

My Psychology Today article today offers questions and suggestions that should help you achieve your goal. They address both psychological and practical considerations.

"I Want to Lose 10 Pounds"

How to lose weight: Advice from experts who aren't trying to sell you anything. That's my PsychologyToday.com article today. 

The Scale: How Does Your Life Measure Up?

Imagine a scale like the one in the picture. You put all the good you’ve done on one side, all the bad you've done on the other. Which way would the scales tip? And how far? My Psychology Today article today asks you some questions to help you decide.