Bart "J.B." Hopkins's Blog, page 16

This drives me crazy…

This drives me crazy. (See what I did there?)

Drivers of the world, please let me impart some wisdom on you. When there exists a turning lane, like the one in yellow in this picture, you should move fully and completely into that turning lane before bringing your car to a complete stop and/or turning.

This happened to me twice today.

Twice in one day! I’m cursed, I tell you, and to top it off, during one of those moments they flipped on the old turn signal after they had already started turning, ha ha ha ha.

I was inspired to create these lame drawings, too.

On a lighter note, I started reading The Affair by Lee Child. I think it’s the sixteenth in the Reacher line, and it’s fantastic so far. If you like suspense, you can’t go wrong with a Reacher book. Click the image if you want to check it out on Amazon.

That’s all I have today. I wish you all happy reading, happy writing, and easy driving. Be safe out there!

~ Bart

 

Top Ten Movies

I’ve been busy lately and ignoring my blog. To use the vernacular of the youngsters … my bad.

I’ve been living in this purgatory that other writers can understand, maybe. That period of time after you query agents when you are waiting for either glorious acceptance or rejection.

To take my mind off that, I’ve decided to post a quick Top Ten. This time: movies. I’d love to hear what your faves are, too.

In no particular order, drum roll, please …

10) Big

Tom Hanks just when he was making it, well, big. A concept most everyone daydreams about as a kid. Excellent idea portrayed very well!

9) The Impossible

This might be the newest movie on my list. I thought the cinematography and direction of this based-on-truth film was fantastic and the acting superb.

8) Can’t Buy Me Love

What a great movie, starring Patrick Dempsey before he underwent the Clooney transformation from dorky dude to … heartthrob, I guess? I still have all the moves in the African Anteater Ritual memorized.

7) Shawshank Redemption

Phenomenal movie. Great cast. Probably the best thing of Stephen King’s to go to film.

6) Back To The Future

My 15-year-old and I share a love of all the Back To The Future movies. Michael J. Fox was the man when I was growing up, and this is classic stuff. Great scott!

5) Top Gun

Probably my cheesiest addition to the list, but unlike the rest of you out there, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t spend a decade thinking it was cool. I feel the need … the need for speed!

4) The Rookie

I love underdogs and second chances and chasing dreams. There’s something magical about the way this movie nailed those themes. Hats off to Disney and Dennis Quaid.

3) The Help

A moving film, but it touches all the emotions. So many memorable moments.

2) Say Anything

I’m a huge John Cusack fan. This is probably the one that started my appreciation of his work.

1) Good Will Hunting

Okay. This probably really is my number one. I think I watched this 30-40 times in 1998. I know there are some Damon and Affleck haters out there. Mostly guys my age who feel threatened, I think, but don’t be haters for GWH … this movie totally rocks. “I gotta see about a girl.”

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*Honorable Mentions: Breakfast Club, Ace Ventura, Indiana Jones, Superman, The Godfather, Pulp Fiction, Star Wars, Cast Away, and Rocky.

Happy Writing & Happy Movie Watching!

–> Bart

Free Audiobook

Good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

Just a quickie to offer up complimentary audiobook copies of Dead Ends, narrated by the amazing and inimitable Wayne June. If you haven’t heard his work … what better time than now, and with a free audiobook?

Shoot me a line at bart@barthopkins.com and I will email you the code and Audible link.

(Click the image below to read the blurb on Amazon.)

Promise Me by Harlan Coben

Wow.

Last night I finished Promise Me by Harlan Coben and I’m still basking in that just-finished-a-great-book afterglow.

My wife had to listen to me periodically make comments like, “This guy is a genius” and “Coben’s writing is incredible.” When I finished the book I just sat there shaking my head for a few seconds. Stunned silence, as they say.

If you enjoy a good thriller or suspense novel in a contemporary setting, it doesn’t get any better than this book. Period. The plot is so tight it’s about to snap. The suspense doesn’t stop.

I’m sure I have mentioned it before, but I had the pleasure of meeting Coben in 2013 at a USO event on Ramstein. It wasn’t advertised well, so I had the opportunity to “share” several big authors with only a handful of guests at the base library.

At the time … I hadn’t read any of Coben’s books! So I had no personal knowledge of the caliber of author I was meeting, or that he’d sold millions of copies. I confessed this to him and asked for a “starter” book recommendation. He was probably wondering what the heck I was doing there if I hadn’t read any of the books. Ha.

All of his books are good, but the Myron Bolitar series has been immensely satisfying (Promise Me is the 8th in that line). You can check it out on Amazon here:

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As per my new norm, I’m not going to summarize the book. That’s why the blurb on Amazon exists. Or the inside flap if you’re at your local bookstore. I’ll only say that you won’t regret picking up a copy.

Happy Reading

~ Bart

Top Ten: Authors

I’ve got this bad habit of making Top Ten lists for everything.

Naturally, as a wordsmith, books and authors are two categories I am wholly interested in. You’d think after four decades of life I would have a clearly defined set of favorite authors and books, lined up and ready to go. Except as my tastes change, and I read more books, my TOP TEN AUTHORS list changes, too. Not too much. Just a little here and there. And sometimes I drop someone and then add them right back. Or I find a new favorite and rip through fifteen of their books. The woes of a reader.

I’m sharing favorite authors before I share favorite books because, frankly, it’s easier. Narrowing down favorite books gets so much tougher.

So, here are my favorite authors. The Top Ten. Drum roll please…

10.  Charles Dickens

Coming in at #10 is Charles Dickens. While some kids despised being forced to read Dickens in high school, I secretly loved it. Dickens knew how to tell a story, and his writing was beautiful in a flowery, slightly overly wordy kind of way. Word Nerds Unite!

9.  Nelson Demille

DeMille is one of the top writers in thriller & cop books, which is probably my favorite genre to read since I reached what I loosely call adulthood. The John Corey books are dynamite, especially if you’re into wisecracking and politically incorrect main characters.

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8.  James Michener

Michener was the master of research. He probably should have been named Google. He often traveled to places and did months of research before building a story around the historical facts.

7.  Lee Child

Two words: Jack Reacher.

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6.  John Irving

I’ve always felt drawn to Irving’s writing. It’s quirky, and sometimes wordy like Dickens, but it’s got this hidden magic that I simply connect with.

5.  John Grisham

Grisham is just a great writer. Period. The stories mostly revolve around lawyers and the lawyerly life,  but hey … it works. Big time.

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4.  Robert Parker

I think I stumbled onto Parker at the recommendation of my dad. Once I bit into that first Spenser novel, I ripped through another twenty-five at an incredible pace. And the few westerns he did were the best. I only wish I’d discovered him sooner.

3.  Harlan Coben

I had the pleasure of meeting Harlan Coben in 2015. What a down-to-Earth guy. I confessed to him that I’d never read one of his books. I only knew of his pending visit to Ramstein Air Base, in Germany, because I was tied into the library through our local writers’ group. He left such an impression that I ran out and grabbed one of his books the next day. Mr. Coben is one heck of a writer.

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2.  Ken Follett

Talk about beautiful, epic stories with history as the landscape. Pillars of the Earth, The Century Trilogy … all I can say is Wow!

Stephen King

Yep, old Stephen King is my #1. He’s a dynamite writer and storyteller, as are the others on this list. So then:  why is King number one, and not one of these other fine yarn spinners? Fair or not, the answer to that will always be partially because he was the author that ignited the fire inside me as a reader, and his stories made me want to write stories of my own so that maybe I could make people feel that same magic.

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And there you have it! My personal Top Ten Authors, and probably my favorite top ten of all top tens. They aren’t any better or worse than YOUR top ten authors. Yours are yours, and mine are mine, and what brings author and reader together is something magical that’s different for everyone; it’s a personal affair. Stay tuned for other top tens in the future. But until then…

Keep reading, world!

~Bart

*Honorable Mentions: Bret Easton Ellis, Hugh Howey, Blake Crouch, Donna Tartt, and Charles Bukowski.

The Girls by Emma Cline

Some readers proudly boast to friends, or in their reviews, about how they couldn’t finish a book. Just awful. Couldn’t get past the first chapter!

I’ve never really felt that way. One, I don’t like not finishing a book. It’s like digging for buried treasure and quitting after the first shovelful of earth is tossed aside. Two, when I truly feel something is awful, I rarely choose to share that with everyone. After all, who am I to be casting stones? I’m just another writer trying to make it in this big world, and thankfully I have a day job, or I’d be rifling through dumpsters for food.

You can probably tell from the foreshadowing that there was a time when I thought I wouldn’t finish The Girls by Emma Cline. The first thirty pages left me feeling a little unfulfilled and confused. I thought Emma Cline was trying too hard to be literary. Some of the metaphors were clunky, and reading them felt like I was driving home on a flat tire. I wasn’t even sure what was happening.

Then things started cleaning up. The story took shape. Prose began flowering, little literary buds opening to the sunlight.

I found myself wholly absorbed. Engrossed. Fantastic pacing kept me excited through to the very satisfying end. It’s one of the best comebacks I’ve ever seen, and that’s including Rocky 1 – Rocky 5.

I’m amazed that a woman in her mid twenties could so accurately capture the 1960s. Not that I would have firsthand knowledge of the 60s … I was born a decade later … but Cline had me completely sold.

Also, I’ve read articles on a few of the more famous cults, but nothing like this. Have you ever thought derisively about how weak-willed cult members must be? Or wondered at the super-charisma that those leaders must wield to convince people to follow them so blindly? Through subtle details and nuances of thought, and a well-told story, Cline makes it very believable.

I kept digging and I found the treasure. I find myself basking in the afterglow of a very good book. 4.5 Stars (9 of 10).

Click on the book cover to grab a copy for your Kindle.

~ Bart

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Job Interview

I flubbed my first job interview in twenty-two years.

Or did I?

There’s no way to know until they make the announcements for the next round of interviews, but I didn’t present myself as well as I would have liked. Granted, I am my own worst critic, so that comes into play a little bit. Maybe I did better than I think.

I tell you, though … It was one of those moments when the universe conspired against me. Here’s the situation.

I planned on using the hour prior to the phone interview to jot down a quick script and rehearse. I would have done it the night before, but I took my kids to a three-hour play, which was great, but it zapped my night after an already long day at work. I’m a soon-to-be-retired Air Force weather dude.

I was at work, in a meeting, and it ran late. Not just a few minutes late. It went an hour and a half longer than scheduled. I don’t usually worry about these things. The military is overflowing with meetings and conference calls, and my experience has been that they usually begin late and end late.

But today I had a job interview. My first in more than two decades! Maybe my first “real” interview. I glanced at my watch and my heart jumped. Ten minutes. My interview was in ten minutes!

The powwow ended and I sprinted to my car to answer the incoming phone call. A panel of interviewers were calling at 11am, and my preparation time was now gone. I should have known better. I should have stayed up late and prepared the night before. Done it a million times, but … I fell asleep. Only jotted down a few notes. Not enough. Could have, should have, would have.

On my end of the USA, this phone interview was taking place in the front seat of my car. Why? I work in a classified environment and I can’t bring my cell phone inside the building. I could use the phone at my desk, but we keep unclassified calls to a minimum so that nobody on the other end overhears something they shouldn’t. Plus there’s always a pile of people lurking around our “cubicle city.” Absolutely no privacy.

So I sprinted to my car, grabbed my folder with all of my notes and a printout of the job listing and requirements, and jumped into the driver’s seat. The folder slipped from my fingers and papers went everywhere. I hurriedly gathered them up and started spreading them around the passenger seat, the dashboard, the center console. Any flat space was soon occupied. I glanced at my watch.

Two minutes.

Earlier, my fleece coat and two shirts were comfy. A modified Arctic air mass had spread across the USA and temperatures in South Carolina were in the low 40s.

Comfy had departed, however, and was replaced by warm and awkward. Where was the bottle of water I had just a few seconds ago? Left it in the trunk when I grabbed my folder. Ugh.

My phone rings. I was an uncomfortable, sweating, disorganized mess. Steering wheel jutting out into my way. I turn sideways. I’d been in worse situations. I’d pull this off, no problem. I adapt and overcome. I’m a survivor.

And I’m perfect for this job and I’m a good person! No sweat. Got it under control.

I field a question or two, but one of the interviewers references specific job requirements. I frantically search for the page with the information, but it is conspicuously missing from the out-of-order paperwork spread all around. F-16s blast around outside, afterburners blazing, and I apologize for the noise. I hear some polite laughter on the other end. I’m not even sure they heard me correctly or heard the planes. They may just think I’m crazy. Maybe they’re right.

I can’t find what I need, so we skip and move to the next question. While I am answering it, I am also multi-tasking … scanning through email on the phone I am talking into, and I find a soft copy of the job document the interviewer had emailed me a couple of days prior. Finally, a small win, but is it too little, too late? I’m wondering this and answering questions at the same time.

Before I know it, the interview is over. I ramble a little bit about my family at the end, and how we look forward to moving to Texas. When we hang up, I exhale and wonder if I would hire myself after that performance. There’s another layer of interviews, so I still have a shot, but…

You never know.

The truth is that, as I said, I’m perfect for this job. It’s perfect for me. Like we were made for one another. Maybe they’ll see that.

I lead a hectic life, but I could have carved out some time and been more prepared in the two or three days I’d known about the interview. I’m reminded of one of my parental speeches for my kids … where I stress preparation and practice.

The funny thing about all of this is that I sort of had a good time. Even during the stressful moments. I kick myself mentally, sure, but I enjoy new experiences, and I’ll be overly prepared for the next interview, whether it be with that particular organization or another.

Oh, yeah, and by the way … you probably realize I’m a writer, too. I like to toss words around. So I’m always doing that, too.

Have an awesome day, world!

 

 

Book Reviews Part 2

I was just thinking about book reviews again. Tonight, my thoughts are coming from the perspective of the writer, the recipient of reviews directed at my books and stories.

Some authors don’t read them. That’s their choice, and I am no one to judge, but I go the opposite direction. I read all of my reviews.

It’s usually an enjoyable experience, seeing people connect with what I’ve written. That is, after all, half of the exchange: people reading the book. Writing the book is great, but seeing people enjoy your writing is better than great. Good reviews are chicken soup for the soul.

Not all reviews are good, though. When I get one of those negative ones, I console myself with the fact that even the genius storytellers get slapped around with a 1- or 2-star review on occasion. In my last blog I gave an example of two books that sing to me like Sarah McLachlan or Enya–and yet people out there hated them.

What? Say it ain’t so!

Of course, diversity is the spice of life. Who wants a world full of robots? Difference in taste is a good thing.

So I roll up my sleeves and pants legs and wade out into the river of reviews and start panning for gold.

Some of them offer nothing constructive or specific, so there is no way to divine any value from it. I’m not devaluing the emotions that might lead a person to write “Hated it” or “Boring” but reviews like that give no true feedback. As both a reader and writer, I normally disregard reviews that don’t offer something specific, something I can sink my teeth into. Why did you hate the book? Did you buy it thinking it was a thriller, but it was romance? Did the characters’ points-of-view jump around erratically? Are there plot holes?

As a writer, I look for common threads. One or two people might be an anomaly, but multiple reviews probably indicate some nuggets of truth. Did 10% of the reviews suggest that Character X was unrealistic? Maybe Character X needs some revision.

A good author finds value in critical reviews and makes themselves better.

Critical is different from “mean.” I generally disregard anything malicious. Years ago, as a newbie to the game, the mean-spirited reviews got under my skin, but now they don’t bother me. After all … what drives someone to write an anger-fueled review? It’s just a book, chill out.

Something I have seen a lot as a reader reading book reviews, and a few times as a writer, is a review where the reader blasts the book over the personality of a character that makes them angry. They curse _______ for being shiftless, or selfish. How could ______ leave his girlfriend after all they’d been through?!?

That one makes me chuckle. If the character was written to be a jerk, and their jerkiness pisses you off that much, then maybe the writer actually did a good job. There are some jerks in the world, after all.

Here’s one for the authors out there. Have you ever gotten a bad review on multiple books from the same reviewer? Did it raise the hair on your neck, and leave you suspicious? Why would someone who doesn’t like your writing buy multiple standalone books and drop harsh reviews on each of them? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t keep reading authors whose books I don’t like.

But that was exactly what happened to me and my Fluke co-author, Dave. We noticed the same person leaving bad reviews on all of our books, and we did some investigating. Turns out that it was an old supervisor of ours, up to no good. How very sad, right?

Hopefully that doesn’t happen to you. Life’s nutty enough without all that drama.

These are some things I never thought about until I had paperback babies of my own out there, available for the world to critique. For all you readers out there, I’m always open to your feedback; the more specific it is, the better.  I read everything you have to say and I try to make myself a better writer.

To all you authors out there, I’m always interested in funny review stories and thoughts.

Good night, world. More on reviews next time…

Bart

 

Book Reviews Part 1

Book reviews are one of those true enigmas in my world. They have the potential to be clever, informative, funny, persuasive, and valuable. They also have the potential to be pretentious, self-absorbed, or valueless.

There have been reviews that helped move me in the direction of buying a book; however, I usually ignore reviews that are insulting or have a malicious tone. I suppose my belief is that those emotions shouldn’t have a place in reviews.

Something that frequently surprised me in the past were the number of 1-star reviews I might find on a book that I love. I’ll give you two examples.

Stay Close by Harlan Coben

Ratings: Amazon = 3.8 and Goodreads = 3.87

# of 1-star reviews on Amazon: 54 (9%)

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Ratings: Amazon = 4.4 and Goodreads = 4.28

# of 1-star reviews on Amazon: 264 (6%)

Reading through the 1-star reviews only reinforced something a wise man told me recently, and that is that reviews often tell you as much, or more, about the person writing the review, than it does about the actual book. Those bad reviews were at times pseudo-intellectual or pretentious. I mean, really? When you give a book one star, you are telling the world that your opinion is that there is nothing redeemable about the book. You’re rating it as low as it can go. How low, can you go … how low, can you go… But, what’s funny and ironic to me about that is how obviously wrong it seems when other people are giving the book five stars. A review or two could be an anomaly, but tens or hundreds of good reviews? Hmm. Because that means people are finding value in it. Value goes beyond a single reader, doesn’t it? Maybe not. Perhaps that is just my opinion.

When I write reviews that’s the mindset I keep. When I saw the crazy success of 50 Shades of Grey, I decided to give it a try and see what all the fuss was about. I don’t normally recommend reading books you don’t think you’re going to like. I mean, it’s like jumping in the mud and being upset if you get dirty. It isn’t sensical. But I did it anyway, and for me, both the content and the writing were bad. I gave it two stars instead of one because despite my feelings, I respect that this author created something which appeals to so many people. I feel like James deserves some credit for that.

The people that really crack me up are the ones that write 1-star reviews and then say that, if it were an option, they’d give it zero stars. Really? You’re going to change how the cylinder is graduated? A scale is a scale. You don’t change the scale if it’s someone else’s scale. We might as well rate it negative stars then. -1 star or -10. Or minus infinity. That’s where we took things as kids, right? Minus infinity? It sucks times infinity. Yeah.

Or how about the “I didn’t finish reading it” people that leave bad reviews. I guess that is their prerogative. My personal rules is that I can only truly evaluate something I invest the time to complete. Then I have earned the right to critique it.

Okay. That’s enough for one day about reviews. There are so many angles that I want to discuss, related to both being an author and a reader. That’s why this is PART 1.

Take care, world!

 

Veronica Phoenix Review

Veronica Phoenix is a science fiction story with a healthy dose of some of my favorite ingredients: adventure, suspense, greed, and love.

The Protagonist, Carl, is easy to like and Proctor’s development of this character was outstanding. That isn’t to say he doesn’t have some flaws, but don’t we all?

World building in the book was simple, yet creative, and completely believable and easy to understand, and therefore very satisfying. Some sci-fi books have you lost in the minutiae and checking back to review what was what…did not experience that at all.

Space travel was fun. I particularly enjoyed the role of AI in the novel.

It’s science fiction with realistic human interactions and dilemmas. Underlying is a life lesson that makes the ending very satisfying.

Nice work, Mr. Proctor!

5 Stars

Click on the cover to visit the book on Amazon and learn more!