Adam Graham's Blog: Christians and Superheroes - Posts Tagged "realms-maker"

Look out world or at least St. Louis, Adam Graham is coming to town this Summer August 1-4th for the Realms Maker Conference. The conference will be the 2nd and 3rd with my arrival on the 1st and the 4th.

On one hand, this is a great business opportunity. In business parlance, we will network, maybe pick up a few best practices, make a few connections. I'll also be bringing books to sell. However, as I'll be taking a plane rather than a U-haul, I'll keep that number limited.

On a personal note, it's a chance to meet some really cool people and exchange ideas with fellow Christian sci fi geeks---or a chance for me to become very familiar with the look of my shoes if my whole shyness things kicks in.

It'll be a lot of fun (or not), but this will be memorable I'm sure.

The Realms Maker Conference in St. Louis is pretty affordable. That's good because airfare isn't.

It's not Realm Makers fault, and I don't even think its St. Louis' fault. It's Boise. We have direct flights to very few cities and with a relatively low volume of travel, there are connections and if you want to get in or out of Boise, usually it's gonna cost you. There's no doubt about doing anything other than flying as my work is going to require me in the office on Monday after the conference.

The good news is that the ticket prices have been moving. That bad news is that they've been moving in a direction where I expect +Your Firstborn child to be added to the ticket price.

Of course, if fantasy were reality, most of us writers would have trouble getting into St. Louis. Though, some methods would not be favored:

###

Colonel A.L. Snyder said, "I'll hack into the company's website and get you a flight on American Airlines-"

"Snyder, that'd be dishonest."

Snyder shrugged. "Hey, that's how you have to fly when you're staying one step ahead of the Empire."

I rolled my eyes. "Snyder, we're not in your Universe. There's no Empire."

"Yet."

"I want some honest way to get to St. Louis."

Snyder smiled. "Of course, you wouldn't want to fly in any way that wasn't above board. I can respect that. You want to have a drink on it."

"I don't drink."

"Tea, it's a special blend. Let me make you some."

"Okay," I said. "Maybe you can show me a website. Later."

Snyder returned with a steaming hot cup of tea.

I took a sip. "This is good, very sweet."

Snyder grinned like a cheshire cat. "Drink, it down."

I drank more and yawned. "Oh, I've been worrying about this ticket thing for a while and-" My eyelids grew heavy. "I'm sorry Snyder, I'm just beat all the sudden."

I gasped. That blonde GI Joe spiked my tea. The world disappeared.

I awoke in utter blackness and let out a scream. Above me was a ceiling. I pounded on it.

The lid was removed and I looked up and gasped for breath.

Snyder smirked. "I was planning on waking you, but you couldn't wait. You're in your room here at the conference. I got the money to pay for it by withdrawing from the ATM. Hope you don't mind."

I glared at him. 'I guess I'd have to pay it any way. But you shouldn't know my ATM PIN."

Snyder shrugged. "I know everybody's ATM PIN."

I rubbed my eyes and looked at I was in. "A coffin? You sent me to St. Louis in a coffin?"

"Cheaper that way," said Snyder. "You flew in the baggage compartment and I was your grieving Uncle Jim."

I glanced at my iPod. "I've been in a coffin for a ten hours. And on top of that, I even came here in a coffin.

Snyder chuckled. "Think of how jealous all the Twilight fans will be."

###

Of course, there are easier ways to fly. Powerhouse would get me there in a snap.

###

I stood outside my door. Powerhouse flew down from the sky on his jetpack.

I waved. "Hey Powerhouse. I'm ready for you to fly me to St. Louis."

Powerhouse shook his head. "I'm pretty sure Spider-man never had to do this for Stan Lee, but come on."

Powerhouse lifted me in his arms and flies me up to his giant airship in the sky.

He pulls up a 3D Computerized map of the United States and presses the state of Missouri and we zoom through the air.

Powerhouse and I spend the next twenty minutes talking about his latest adventures as well as several older comic books he's read.

Finally an image comes on the screen.

Powerhouse smiles. "Behold, the golden arches of St. Louis."

I said, "Um Powerhouse, that's the Golden Arches of Mcdonalds."

"Oh, my mistake."

He flies until we reach the University. "There you go. Anything else?"

"Yeah, could you imagine a version of the ship and leave it here?"

Powerhouse rubbed the bottom of his helmet. "Well, that would save me a trip back. Why would you want me you a football stadium sized shipped?"

"Well, it'd be the coolest transportation here and they only charge $1 a day for parking."

###

Alas, neither one of their methods are much help in real life. I think I'll have to fly the old fashioned way. So dear readers, my quest for a ticket continues.