Adam J. Whitlatch's Blog, page 7

Basket Case - 14/31 Days of Halloween

We're two weeks in, folks, and nearing the halfway point. Remember, if you have any movie suggestions or requests, you can always leave a comment, and I'll do my best. Today's film is an odd one, to say the least. I first watched this movie and its first sequel back to back at a friend's house twenty years ago. Back then, I could have summed up my thoughts on the movie with two words: "Fucking weird." To be honest, that sentiment still stands, but can we go a little deeper? I think so. Without any further ado, lets grab our scalpels and start cutting into 1982's Basket Case. The film opens in the home of Dr. Lifflander as strange noises alarm him. As the noises enter his home, Lifflander tries to call for help, but the line goes dead. He retreats to his study to arm himself with a revolver and fires six rounds at his unseen assailant before he dies. After the murder a young man named Duane is walking the streets of Manhattan with a large wicker basket in his arms. After checking into a seedy, low-rent hotel, we learn through a flashback that the basket contains Duane's horribly deformed (formerly) conjoined twin brother, Belial. The twins' mother died during child birth, and their father blamed the misshapen, mute Belial for her death. After being denied by countless doctors, the boys' father pays three doctors to perform a secret operation to separate the twins against their will. Belial is left for dead in the trash, but thanks to their telepathic link, Duane saves him. After they kill their father, the boys are raised by their aunt until she passes away. Heartbroken and alone, the boys have embarked on a quest to track down and kill the doctors responsible for separating them. While casing the office of the second doctor, Dr. Needleman, Duane meets the doctor's secretary, Sharon, and makes plans to go on a date with her. Later that night, Belial returns to kill Needleman. After Belial steals Needleman's rolodex, the twins have their first lead on the location of Kutter, the third and final doctor. Belial becomes jealous, however, when the romance between Duane and Sharon blossoms, and the years of resentment between them comes to a head. It's easy to dismiss this movie. Hell, I'm guilty of that myself. But despite some subpar special effects, Basket Case is actually an effective, thoughtful piece of horror and social commentary. It's not hard for the viewer to sympathize with Duane's plight, and although the brothers' relationship appears loving and rosy at first, scabs are picked and old wounds ooze. Duane cares, but everyone has their limits. Unfortunately for Duane and Sharon, Belial has limits of his own. Belial is presented in two ways onscreen. Most of the time, we see him as a puppet, with closeups of his misshapen hands controlled the director himself via gloves. This effect doesn't work, and we're led to believe Belial is using inhuman strength to strangle his victims when in fact he's just pawing at them ineffectively. When Belial is seen moving about the room, stop motion is utilized, but the effect is laughable and unforgivably jerky. It's hard to take the evil twin seriously, especially when his eyes begin to glow red. Get it!? He's eeeeeeeeeeevil. Despite the visual effects flaws, there's a lot of good stuff here. Basket Case is far better than it deserves to be. Whether the sequels hold up as well... I don't know. Maybe that's something to explore in next year's marathon. My recommendation? Give it a shot.

30 Days of Night - 13/31 Days of Halloween

"I'm so sick of vampires." I hear this constantly. Having written a vampire novel, I know firsthand that they can be a hard sell, thanks in no small part to Stephanie Meyer's young adult series, Twilight. But Twilight isn't the cause of the problem; it's a symptom. For the past twenty years or so, we've seen a drastic shift in how vampires are presented in media, with a heavy emphasis on sex appeal and paranormal romance. These concepts aren't new to vampire fiction by any means, but lately the original concept of vampires being bloodthirsty monsters seems to have been mostly forgotten, or at least takes a backseat to romantic elements. Audiences have been yearning for a return to the terror, thirsting for something truly bloody to whet their appetites, and in 2007, relief came to cinemas with 30 Days of Night. The film opens as a strange man trudges through the snow away from an anchored ship toward the small town of Barrow, Alaska. As the town prepares for the annual month-long period of uninterrupted night, Sheriff Eben Oleson is investigating a series of perplexing crimes and acts of vandalism. First he and his deputy find a pile of burned satellite phones, then the town's only helicopter is dismantled, and every sled dog in town is viciously slaughtered. As night falls, the strange man from the ship demands to be served raw meat at the diner. Eben arrests the man after he causes a disturbance. The stranger taunts the Olesons from his cell, warning them that "they are coming." Eben doesn't have to wonder about the stranger's cryptic statement for long, because soon a pack of ravenous vampires sets upon the town, murdering everyone in sight and destroying all means of escape. The bloodsuckers have come to the town for what is essentially a month-long, uninterrupted feeding frenzy. Eben and a small group of survivors take refuge in an attic, but eventually they must venture out to seek supplies and more secure shelter, but the vampires stalk them every step of the way. 30 Days of Night (based on the comic book series of the same name) is a breath of fresh air after a barrage of undead pretty boy Romeos. The vampires in this film are cruel, calculating, and most of all... hungry. With their dark eyes and maws full of razor-sharp fangs, these vamps can best be described as walking sharks. Not only that, but they are truly evil. Humans bitten and not immediately beheaded by their attackers feel their humanity slowly slip away as the change takes hold of them. Danny Huston plays the vampires' leader, Marlow, and he truly shines in this role. Marlow is savage, and while he is quick to anger, he doesn't mind playing with his food a little. In my favorite scene, a woman he's using as bait to lure out the hiding humans begs God to save her. Marlow hisses in her face "GOD?" before briefly scanning the heavens, only to sadly inform her "No God" before she dies. I cannot recommend this movie enough. If you enjoy a good vampire story, then you don't want to pass this one up. While it takes a fresh approach to vampires that the genre sorely needed, it also pays homage to classics like Dracula, with the stranger's rambling and ambition for joining Marlow's undead legion being eerily reminiscent of Renfield. Check it out. You won't regret it.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things - 12/31 Days of Halloween

The weekend is finally here, kids, and if you're looking for something fun to do, you could always boat out to a small island and perform Satanic rituals to raise the dead... OR... You could come on out to see me and Child's Play actor Alex Vincent at Halloweenapalooza at the historic, haunted Hotel Ottumwa in Ottumwa, Iowa, happening today! Hmm? What was that other thing I mentioned, you say? Why, I'm talking about today's spooky film, of course! Filled with spooky cemeteries and restless corpses, today's movie was directed by Bob Clark of Porky's fame. With ol' Bob being no stranger to youthful shenanigans, surely we're in for a devilish treat, right? Right?? Well, there's only one way to find out. Grab your shovel and get digging, because it's time to unearth 1972's Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things! Our story opens on a secluded island off the Florida coast as a cemetery caretaker is attacked by what appears to be a vampiric ghoul, but the "ghoul" and his accomplice dig up a grave, remove the corpse, and one of the men hides inside, taking the corpse's place. Soon after, a theatre troupe led by a ill-tempered and pretentious director named Alan arrive by boat. Alan gives the troupe a tour of the island, and after breaking into an abandoned cabin to drop off their luggage, they return to the cemetery to dig up a corpse for a Satanic ritual Alan plans to take part in. The "ghouls" attack the troupe, revealing themselves to be fellow actors named Roy and Emerson, but the prank isn't well received. Alan coerces the troupe into helping him perform a ritual to raise the dead. The ritual fails, and after being ridiculed by his subordinates, Alan orders them back to the cabin for some fun, along with the unearthed corpse named Orville. Alan continues to torment the troupe with Orville, propping him up and even marrying him in a mock wedding ceremony. One of the women, Anya, becomes extremely disturbed by Orville's mistreatment and has a violent nervous breakdown. Meanwhile, the dead begin to rise, apparently from the delayed effects of Alan's ritual, and attack Roy and Emerson. Roy is bitten and escapes to the cabin, only to die of his injuries while the undead surround the cabin. Wow. Where do I begin? While it's obvious that the crew at least tried to make their ghouls more gruesome than Romero's in Night of the Living Dead four years earlier, this mostly amounts to raccoon eyes and a few key corpses with costume shop prosthetics. I mean... hell, look at this guy. Yeesh! Within the first five minutes, the horrible dialogue and ham-fisted attempts at humor made me want to shut this movie off. Alan is so insufferable that I actually cheered when he finally got what was coming to him. It's ironic that this movie is about a theatre troupe, because there isn't a single one among them who can act. Their characters are erratic, each of them horrified and amused by Alan's antics and back to horrified again at the flip of a switch. I just couldn't bring myself to care about any of them. This movie should be required viewing in film and theatre classes as an example of what not to do. Bottom line, this movie is just plain dumb. Save yourself a downright painful hour and a half of bad dialogue and dated gay stereotypes and just watch the cemetery scene from Porky's II: The Next Day instead. It's pretty much the first thirty minutes of this movie anyway. At least Bob Clark worked the comedy kinks out in the eleven years between these two movies.

Child's Play (1988) - 11/31 Days of Halloween

Hiya, folks! I'm actually not home today. I'm at the Halloweenapalooza horror film festival and convention! The convention is being held at the haunted, historic Hotel Ottumwa in Ottumwa, Iowa on October 11th and 12th. I'll be there in the vendor room on both days, but I'm not the only reason you should come out. The guest of honor is none other than the young star of today's film, Alex Vincent! I think we're all familiar with the killer doll Chucky by now, especially with this year's remake starring Mark Hamill, but I prefer going back to basics. I prefer Chucky back before the scars, the stitches, the, uh... wi-fi capability. Let's go back to the series' roots with the movie that started it all. Of course I'm talking about the 1988 original, Child's Play. Our story opens as police pursue serial killer Charles Lee Ray (played by Brad Dourif) into a toy store. Detective Mike Norris (played by Chris Sarandon) shoots and mortally wounds Ray. Ray stumbles into a stack of Good Guy dolls, and in a desperate last act, removes one of the dolls from its box and begins chanting. Norris is closing in on Ray when lightning apparently strikes the store, causing an explosion. The next morning, Andy opens his birthday presents while the news reports the death of Charles Lee Ray. Andy is disappointed that he did not receive Good Guy doll for his birthday, but his mother, Karen, promises to make his wish come true when she can afford it. Fortune smiles on them when a homeless man peddling junk sells Karen a Good Guy doll for thirty dollars. Andy is overjoyed with his gift, but as Andy becomes acquainted with his new "friend" Chucky, strange things begin happening in the Barclay home almost immediately. After Karen's friend Maggie is killed falling from the Barclays' kitchen window, the police suspect Andy of the killing. When Charles Lee Ray's partner in crime is killed in a gas explosion, and Andy and Chucky are found at the scene, the police are convinced that Andy is responsible for both murders, and he is committed to an institution, despite his insistence that Chucky is alive and doing these terrible things. When Karen discovers Chucky's batteries still in the box, she begins to suspect Andy may have been telling the truth. Questioning her own sanity, she confronts the doll, and Chucky reveals himself to her. His cover blown, Chucky begins looking for a way to restore himself to a human body, and he'll kill anybody who tries to get in his way. It amazes me that after all these years, with all of the advances in special effects, Hollywood still hasn't managed to improve upon this original. Even after all these years, Chucky looks great and convincing. As if Chucky wasn't terrifying enough, the movie takes his creep factor up several notches in the fiery finale. Brad Dourif is undeniably an amazing talent, both on screen and behind a microphone. I love when Chucky gets pissed and Dourif just goes all in with his performance. And who can forget that trademark Chucky cackle? I haven't seen the remake yet, but Mark Hamill has some very... well... tiny doll shoes to fill. I think you can already guess my verdict. Child's Play is essential viewing for any horror fan who grew up in the 80s. From the contemporary toys in the opening scene to the entire range Good Guys merch, this movie just screams 80s nostalgia. Do yourself a favor and put this movie on, pour yourself a big bowl of Good Guys cereal, and then come on down to Halloweenapalooza to meet Alex Vincent. Hope to see you there!

The Evil Dead - 10/31 Days of Halloween

It's a good thing I decided to watch today's movie during the day while my boys were at school, otherwise my youngest might have insisted upon watching it with me. You see, he loves Bruce Campbell, particularly his character Ash Williams. While geeking out over horror merch at a fan convention, a vendor doubted his knowledge and asked him why he was so interested in a particular piece of art. My son looked at the man and said, "Duh... it's Ash! Hail to the king, baby!" So far I've managed to keep him from seeing this movie and its first sequel, but one day he'll get his way. For now he has to be content with the campy, more tame sequel Army of Darkness. Most horror fans are familiar with Ashley J. Williams, chosen defender of mankind against demonic forces. But long before the one-liners, the chainsaw hand, the video games, and a three-season television series, one film started it all, and that film was 1981's The Evil Dead. As the movie opens, five friends drive deep into the Tennessee mountains to a remote, rented cabin in the woods. Even before stepping inside, the cabin emits an unsettling aura that puts them on edge. While exploring the cellar, Ash and Scotty discover some strange items, including a tape recorder, an ornate dagger, and a book bound in human flesh containing gruesome illustrations and strange writing. When the tape they discovered is played back, they learn the book is called the Naturan Demanto, roughly translated... the Book of the Dead. The recording continues with the speaker reading passages from the book, which greatly upsets Ash's sister Rachel, and rightfully so. The incantations awaken Candarian demons who lure Rachel into the woods and attack her. Rachel returns to the cabin and demands Ash take her to the nearest town. Ash reluctantly agrees, but is forced to turn back when they find the bridge leading back to the road ripped up. Back at the cabin, the demons take possession of Rachel, and she attacks the others, forcing them to lock her in the cellar. One by one, the demons come to take them until only Ash remains to fend off the Evil Dead. Often considered to be the scariest entry in the franchise, The Evil Dead is almost entirely devoid of the humor that would make its successors so popular. While the makeup effects are remarkable considering the film's small budget, modern high-definition presentation spoils a bit of Sam Raimi's movie magic. In my opinion, The Evil Dead really shines on VHS. That's how I first experienced it, on a 13-inch TV in my pitch-black basement bedroom when I was seventeen years old. If you ask me, I think hi-def has unnecessarily sanitized some great classics. Sometimes that grain is part of the experience, you know? The Deadite makeup can go from effective and unsettling to comically bad in a mere scene change and back again. The best makeup effects went to Rachel as her possession and condition progress in the cellar. To this day, the most unsettling thing about the movie is when the possessed Linda giggles incessantly, even while Ash slaps her around. The film's finale features some of the most impressive and gut-churning claymation and stop-motion sequences of the era. Don't eat while watching The Evil Dead, folks. Overall, The Evil Dead is an undisputed classic that kickstarted one of the most beloved franchises in horror and comedy. New fans coming into it after only seeing the Ash VS Evil Dead television series should be prepared for a little culture shock, but they'll find the over-the-top gore familiar and will no doubt appreciate it. Hail to the king, baby!

Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation - 9/31 Days of Halloween

They won't stay dead! And by that, I mean remakes and spinoffs of George A. Romero's 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead. As most horror fans know, the title of Romero's Film was originally titled Night of the Flesh Eaters, but upon learning there already was a film by that name, the title was changed during the eleventh hour. Unfortunately, they neglected to include a copyright notice on the film, making it automatically part of the public domain. Because of this error, anybody can do anything they want with the Night of the Living Dead property, and they do. Last year, I reviewed Tom Savini's stellar 1990 remake that he co-produced with Romero, but unfortunately, none of those imitators that came after were able to capture the same magic. Today's film is a prequel to the 2006 remake Night of the Living Dead 3D, which starred the late, great Sid Haig. Let's dig up 2012's Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation. The film opens as mortician Gerald Tovar, Jr. tries to placate an angry customer. Gerald reprimands his trainee, DyeAnn for her poor job performance and orders his secretary Aunt Lou to fire her. Incompetent staff is just one of the many problems piling up on Gerald's plate. Gerald spends the morning juggling appointments and conducting interviews, but he's distracted when his employee, Russell, lets a state inspector onto the cemetery grounds unsupervised. Gerald follows the inspector but is too late to save him from a wandering zombie. Gerald dispatches both the inspector and the man with a shovel and returns to the mortuary to conduct business. After hiring a new assistant, he's surprised by an unexpected visit from his brother, Harold (played by horror legend Jeffrey Combs). Gerald is furious to learn the true purpose of his brother's visit: Harold wants money. While Gerald and Harold discuss things over dinner, Russell and DyeAnn show the new hire, Christie, the ropes. Gerald and Harold's fight reaches a fever pitch, and Gerald finally confides in his brother that, for several weeks, the dead have been rising. Gerald suspects this has to do with secret dealings between their late father and the U.S. government. Being pyrophobic, Gerald is unable to bring himself to incinerate the remains, and so the bodies just keep piling up. Harold is skeptical, and Gerald offers to show him proof. As the night wears on, Gerald's secret begins to literally spill out of the crematorium, and the Night of the Living Dead begins. HOO BOY! Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation manages to be smart and stupid at the same time. Much like other satirical films of the period (looking at you, Iron Sky), the writers decided to shoehorn a painfully obvious Sarah Palin spoof named "Sister Sarah" into the movie. Sister Sarah really serves no purpose other than allowing the filmmakers to poke fun at the Tea Party, which I'm cool with, but it does absolutely nothing to move the plot along. Now where the movie is smart is in its self-awareness. Jeffrey Combs delivers a fantastic conspiracy theory monologue citing zombie outbreaks in Pittsburg in 1968, Louisville in 1985, and Pittsburg again in 1990, which are references to the original Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead, and Tom Savini's Night of the Living Dead remake, respectively. Combs even explains that the 1990 outbreak was just like the one in 1968 but gorier. I cackled. The zombie effects, much like the writing, are a mixture of good and bad. Some of the shambling corpses are downright terrifying and convincing (although poor lighting greatly helps in this regard), while others look like low-budget rejects from the Spirit Halloween clearance rack. The scenes in Tovar's crematorium are certainly not for the faint of heart (or stomach). It's certainly not Savini or Nicoterro-level effects, but it does the trick for a low-budget remake-prequel. I'm sure some of the film's charm was lost on me since I was only able to view it in standard 2D on Tubi, rather than 3D as intended. Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation has its ups and downs. Zombie genre fans will love the inside jokes and Easter eggs sprinkled throughout, but is it a good movie? Not really. What we have here is the second in a series of low-budget, low-imagination zombie flicks cashing in on George Romero's hard work and name recognition. Unless you're a hardcore fan of the genre who can't get enough, I say skip it and watch Romero's original classic instead.

C.H.U.D. - 8/31 Days of Halloween

Boy, I've really stepped in it this time. You all know me, I'm no stranger to the whole radioactive mutant cannibal genre, but today's film makes me pause and reconsider my career path. I remember strolling down the video store (Remember those, folks? Ah, nostalgia!) aisles as a kid and seeing the VHS box art, simultaneously drawn in by the art and amused by the strange title. For whatever reason, I passed on it for several years until I finally decided to give it a shot a few years back. What my youthful reluctance justified? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. Grab your Geiger counters and hold your nose, kids, because we're about to descend into the foul world of 1984's creature feature C.H.U.D. The film opens on a mostly deserted New York City street in the wee hours of the night. A woman is walking her dog when an unseen assailant drags her and the poor pooch into the sewer. We are then introduced to George and Lauren, a photographer and model respectively. During a photoshoot, George receives a call from a homeless woman he knows who needs bail for trying to steal a policeman's service weapon. George convinces her to take him down into the sewers where he meets a sick, injured man with a terrible bite wound on his leg. Police Captain Bosch visits A.J., or "the Reverend," the owner of a local soup kitchen, asking if he knows anything about a recent rise in missing persons cases. At first, A.J. is reluctant to help until he learns Mrs. Bosch is among the missing. A.J. shows Bosch some of the strange items he's discovered in the New York Underground, including radiation detecting devices belonging to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. After strong arming the police commissioner and a man from the NRC named Wilson, Wilson reluctantly reveals to the men the existence of C.H.U.D., or "cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers," mutants created by radioactive materials dumped in the New York underground. Bosch, A.J., and George must all race against the clock to save the city from both the C.H.U.D.s and the NRC's suicidal plan to eradicate the mutants. Hoo boy! Where do I begin? The movie stars both John Heard and Daniel Stern of Home Alone fame, and I can't help but think Kevin McCallister would have sorted out the city's C.H.U.D. problem in short order with a few paint cans and Micro Machines. Frankly, I think the movie would have benefitted from a few character cuts, namely Heard's character, George. George and Lauren don't really do anything to move the story forward, and George's actions in the film could have just as easily (and more reasonably) been carried out by Stern's A.J. Let's talk about the C.H.U.D.s themselves. They're... well... silly. When the film finally revealed them, I burst out into laughter.The wide-set headlight eyes were the icing on the cake. I will say, however, there's a scene where George encounters a homeless man mid-transformation into a C.H.U.D., and the effect was actually quite good. I think the effects team should have gone for a more subtle approach to the finished creatures. Overall, C.H.U.D. is a popcorn-cramming B-movie, and if you're a fan of monster movies you can laugh at, give this one a watch. If you like your horror a little heavier on story and lighter on gory, skip this one. I'm not typically an advocate for remakes, but I do think with the right script and cast, C.H.U.D. could benefit from a 21st century facelift.

The Exorcist - 7/31 Days of Halloween

We're now a full week into this year's month-long horror movie marathon, and I thought I would tackle what some consider to be the scariest film ever made. This wasn't my first choice. I'd originally planned to review The Exorcism of Emily Rose today at a friend's request, but it turns out I don't have the movie, even though I could have sworn I did. Oh well. No sense in crying over spilled holy water. Allegedly based on true events surrounding a teenage boy purportedly possessed by demons, author William Peter Blatty penned a terrifying novel in 1971 and changed the subject from a little boy to a little girl. In 1973, Blatty adapted his novel for the silver screen, and the result is the Academy Award-winning horror classic, The Exorcist. The story opens with an archaeological dig site in northern Iraq, where an aging priest named Father Merrin (played by veteran actor Max von Sydow) uncovers a grotesque figurine. Merrin travels to ruins in the desert and searches out a large statue bearing the same visage as the figurine, that of the demon Pazuzu. On the other side of the world, an actress named Chris MacNeil and her twelve-year-old daughter Regan (played by Linda Blair) have just moved to Georgetown where Chris is shooting her latest movie. While working on set, Chris notices a priest named Father Karras watching the filming. Karras suffers a crisis of faith as his elderly mother's health quickly declines until, ultimately, she dies, leaving Karras devastated. In the MacNeil house, Chris begins noticing strange noises and discovers Regan has been playing with a Quija board, which she uses to communicate with an entity she calls "Captain Howdy." After a terrifying nighttime episode in which a shaking bed drives Regan from her own room, Chris seeks medical help for Regan. Doctors attempt to treat Regan with medication, but the girl becomes increasingly hostile and profane. Regan begins performing impossible physical feats, such as turning her head 180 degrees and speaking in strange voices. When Chris' director dies by falling out Regan's bedroom window, Chris begins to suspect Regan may have murdered him. Unable to find the cause of Regan's bizarre condition, the doctors, at their wits' end, recommend Chris consult the Catholic Church to seek an exorcism. Chris reaches out to Father Karras, who is skeptical that Regan's condition isn't merely psychological in nature, but the evidence in favor of possession is irrefutable. The church summons Father Merrin, who has successfully performed an exorcism before, nearly at the cost of his own life. Merrin confronts the demon, but it's not willing to leave quietly, and Merrin and Karras must wage holy war against the evil within Regan. As I mentioned above, many consider The Exorcist to be the scariest film of all time. And at one time, I'm sure that was true, but by today's standards, the film is a little dry. In 1973, however, this film was utterly shocking, because audiences had never seen anything like it before! I'll admit to being terrified the first time I saw it. I found Regan's spinning head particularly disturbing the first few times I saw it. Unfortunately I don't think the film stands up nearly as well today, but its significance in film history is impossible to deny. So what's the verdict? Oh, I do enjoy the movie, and I highly recommend horror fans watch it if they haven't already. Modern audiences who have been desensitized by contemporary horror shouldn't expect anything too shocking. Perhaps I just don't find the film disturbing anymore because I'm an atheist. That's quite possible. The Exorcist is essential viewing, and I also highly recommend Blatty's novel. Turn out the lights, and don't blink, or you just might miss those few fleeting glimpses of Captain Howdy glowering from the shadows.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space - 6/31 Days of Halloween

So far during our spooky film marathon, we've seen some pretty gruesome scares, so tonight I thought I'd go for something a little more silly that I could enjoy with my whole family. Now when one brings up the idea of spooky fun for the entire family, tonight's movie isn't one that would generally spring to mind, but you have to understand something about my family. My kids get more excited about seeing Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers than most kids do for Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. And let's be real... which of those is more terrifying? Anyway, tonight's movie sparked a fear of clowns for many members of my generation a full two years before Stephen King's It hit television screens in 1990. What movie, you ask? Well grab some cotton candy and pop some buttery popcorn, because it's time for 1988's Killer Klowns from Outer Space! Our story opens with some teenagers making out at the local Lover's Lane when they're rudely interrupted by a bumbling duo of dorks named Rich and Paul Terenzi driving an ice cream truck. The drivers are driven off by the angry lovers, but Mike and Debbie are more amused by the intrusion than anything. As Mike regales Debbie with tales about the Terenzi Brothers' antics, a UFO streaks overhead. After much arm twisting, Debbie convinces Mike to go searching for the strange object. Meanwhile, a farmer and his dog also go in search of the object, thinking it's Haley's Comet and that he'll become rich and famous when curiosity seekers come to see it. Instead the old man comes across a circus tent, and both he and the dog are attacked by hideous clown-like creatures. Mike and Debbie soon arrive and explore the tent-shaped alien ship, which they take for some kind of funhouse at first, but it soon becomes obvious that this is no mere circus attraction as they stumble across strange, advanced technology and a room full of corpses hanging in cotton candy cocoons! Mike and Debbie narrowly escape the pursuing killer clowns and make their way into town to report what they've seen to Debbie's ex-boyfriend Dave, an officer with the local police department. Dave's partner, an old bully named Curtis Mooney ridicules the teens, stating emphatically that he refuses to let young punks make a dummy of him. Dave is also understandably skeptical at first and takes Debbie home before taking Mike to search for evidence of his claims. When Dave finally sees the murderous clowns for himself, he teams up with Mike and the Terenzi Brothers to save the town. I was seven years old when Killer Klowns from Outer Space first hit screens, and it freaked me out, but not for the reason you might expect. I'll get to that in a moment, but first let's talk about the clowns. They are freakin' grotesque, and it's hard to believe anybody would ever mistake them for harmless circus performers, but hey... "there's a sucker born every minute" as the movie's theme song performed by The Dickies reminds us. In fact, they're so over-the-top hideous that I just could never associate them enough with real clowns to develop a fear of them. A few of the masks were even repurposed for the trolls in 1991's Ernest Scared Stupid, which makes me want to revisit that movie as well. Using seemingly harmless circus-themed weapons like popcorn, cotton candy, balloon animals, and even shadow puppets, the clowns are able to catch the townspeople off guard and cocoon them in cotton candy for later consumption. There's one scene in particular that redlines my creepymeter and legitimizes this cornball flick's horror movie status. Remember how I said Mooney refused to let anybody make a dummy of him? Well, Dave returns to the police station and finds ol' Mooney being manipulated by one of the clowns like a ventriloquist's dummy. The clown uses Mooney's voice to communicate with Dave, making the clowns' intentions very clear before removing its bloody hand and letting Mooney's corpse slump to the floor. The bloody lines drawn from the corners of Mooney's mouth are an eerie touch that's always stayed with me. For a rather lighthearted, comedic horror flick, this is a rare dark moment, and I absolutely love it! Overall, Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a fun, mindless flick. As long as you shut your brain off and are in the mood for a few laughs, it's worth a watch. There's been talk of a sequel off and on for many years, and at this point I'm just going to treat it like the long-rumored Gremlins 3... I'll believe it when I see it. But with 80s nostalgia at its peak right now, maybe modern audiences are finally ready for the return of killer clowns, popcorn monsters, and synthesizer scores. If so, I'll be one of the first in line.

1408 - 5/31 Days of Halloween

No spooky movie marathon is complete without at least one work by the undisputed master of terror, Stephen King. Technically I filled that quota with yesterday's review of Creepshow 2, but I didn't think you'd all mind if we gave ol' Steve another go, would you? Personally, I think King did his best work in the 70s and 80s. His works have always been hit or miss for me, and it's become obvious that there isn't an editor alive with the cojones to stand up to him and tell him when he's wrong or that a book has gone on far too long. That said, when he hits, the King hits hard. Nothing makes me roll my eyes at a King story like his favorite lazy plot device: telepathy and/or telekinesis. But today's spooky tale is completely devoid of that tired trope. Let's check in to the 2007 chiller, 1408. As the film opens, we meet jaded author Mike Enslin, played by John Cusack. Enslin travels the country visiting and debunking haunted locations. After a particularly disheartening bookstore signing, Enslin returns home to LA and, after a minor surfing accident, checks his mail. He receives a postcard from the Dolphin Hotel in New York City. The message on the back of the card is short but sweet: DO NOT ENTER 1408. Noting that the numbers add up to 13, Enslin is amused and intrigued by the note and calls to reserve the room, thinking it will be the perfect final chapter for his new book. When the staff refuses to grant his request, Enslin invokes a little-known civil rights law that prohibits hotel staff from denying an unoccupied room to a patron should they request it. When he arrives at the Dolphin, Enslin meets privately with the manager, Mr. Olin (played by Samuel L. Jackson). Olin attempts to dissuade Enslin from entering 1408, insisting that it is simply "an evil fucking room." Enslin is amused by Olin's efforts, taking the speech as an attempt to build up the room's reputation in his mind. Undeterred, Enslin checks into the room, at first finding it unremarkable, but he soon realizes he's made a mistake when the room takes hold of him and refuses to let go. 1408 (based on the short story of the same name) is not the only time Cusack and Jackson have headlined a Stephen King adaptation. They would be reunited for the critically panned Cell in 2016. I haven't heard anything good about that film, which is a damn shame, because Cusack and Jackson both shine in this movie, having excellent chemistry during their single scene together. This same scene features one of my all-time favorite pieces of movie dialogue. When asked by Olin if he drinks, Enslin replies, "Of course! I just told you I'm a writer." It's hard to talk about what Enslin experiences in room 1408 without spoiling the experience, so I won't even try. I recommend you experience it for yourself. I will say, however, that 1408 is a visceral psychological roller coaster. The film does a fantastic job of chronicling Enslin's rapid descent into madness. As a writer, I particularly appreciate Cusack's performance. I've seen some pretty craptastic depictions of writers in film and television, which is rather ironic because... well... they were written by professional writers! Every writer can see themselves in Enslin, from the soul-crushing bookstore events to that one story they regret writing. Cusack gets two thumbs up from me. The movie has four different endings with the DVD and blu-ray releases differing. Personally, I prefer the DVD version, which is the one I own. Overall, 1408 is a fun, freaky film that breaks the humdrum Stephen King mold and gives us something fresh. This is definitely one to watch with the lights off.