Adam J. Whitlatch's Blog, page 3

Tombs of the Blind Dead - 13/31 Days of Halloween 2020

It seems as soon as George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead hit screens, foreign filmmakers were looking to cash in on the new flesh-eating zombie craze. With a flood of films coming out of Europe under an overwhelming number of alternate titles, it's sometimes hard to keep track of them all.

Before today, I only knew today's film through a number of YouTube film critics and reviewers. The idea intrigued me, a fresh take on a genre that hadn't yet lost its freshness. While Italian filmmakers like Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci are well known for cashing in on the emerging zombie movie market during the 1970s, another franchise out of Spain would also make its mark in cinemas and VCRs worldwide. Turn down the lights and keep your voice down as we explore 1972's La Noche del Terror Ciego, or as we know it in the United States, Tombs of the Blind Dead.

As the movie opens, we witness a brutal human sacrifice at the hands of the Knights Templar in a medieval Spanish village. Fast forwarding to the present, Betty Turner is reunited with her former schoolmate Virginia. Virginia's lover Roger invites Betty to join them on a camping trip in the Spanish countryside. Betty accepts, but Virginia suspects Roger has ulterior motives behind his invitation and becomes jealous. The next day, the trio board a train bound for the country. Despite Betty's assurances that she has no romantic interest in Roger, Virginia jumps from the train when Roger makes an obvious pass at her friend.

Virginia hikes to the abandoned village of Beranzo. After exploring the ruins, Virginia beds down for the night, a portable radio at her side to drown out the creepy night sounds echoing through the ruins. As night falls, the dead Templars rise from their tombs and seek out Virginia. She flees the village, but the blind dead run her down on horseback and attack her in a field. The next day, the drivers of a passing train spot the body and contact the local authorities. Concerned, Roger and Betty conduct their own investigation, one that will bring them within screaming distance of the Blind Dead!

is transmittable, as we learn when their victims rise and go on their own feeding frenzies. This makes the film's climax all the more exciting. Knowing there are three sequels, I wonder how this film's ending plays a role in those, if at all.

By today's standards, the Blind Dead are hardly horrifying. The skeletal hands and decayed faces offer little to no articulation or expression, but the film does a decent job of building suspense as the sightless revenants stalk their prey. I only wish they'd focused more on the concepts of sound and silence, but the female characters spend so much time screaming that the true potential of the sightless dead relying on sound to locate their victims is lost. It's just too damn easy for them.

While horribly dated, Tombs of the Blind Dead is still a fun movie. The blood and gore is minimal as the film relies more on suspense and creepy imagery to sell the terror. The living characters aren't terribly memorable with the exception of the strange morgue attendant. Predictably, as in many other films of the period, the lesbian character is assaulted by a man with a magic penis complex who cannot take no for an answer, so be advised if such situations bother you. Despite its flaws, I highly recommend giving this classic a watch. Just be sure to stifle your screams, and keep your ears open for tolling bells and approaching hoofbeats. Tombs of the Blind Dead is streaming free with advertisements on Vudu.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpcYWJnS6N8

The Prophecy - 12/31 Days of Halloween 2020

(This film should not be confused with the 1979 film Prophecy.)

Ah, Dimension Films. Just seeing that logo flash across my screen makes all my joint pain go away, and suddenly I'm a teenager in Mom and Dad's basement again. Pure nostalgia.

I studied Biblical and mythological literature in college. It's always been fascinating to me, but although it was shaky for at least a decade prior, my college studies pretty well drove the final coffin nail into my faith.

Why do I mention this? Because it's relevant to today's movie. Faith, that is. Now, it could be argued that this movie doesn't really fall into the horror category and more into fantasy, but those lines often get blurred, and I'm willing to bend the rules in favor of a good story. But is today's film a good story? What's wrong? Don’t you have any faith in me? Well, I suppose there's only one way to settle this, and that's to fall into 1995's The Prophecy.

As the story begins, we witness an ordination ceremony within the Catholic Church. A young priest-to-be named Thomas Dagget sees horrific visions of a war between angels in Heaven, and as a result, he loses his faith. Years later, Thomas has become a detective with the LAPD. One day, he returns home to find a strange man named Simon in his home who warns him about coming events. Later, Simon is attacked by another angel named Usiel. Simon kills his attacker but is wounded himself and flees the scene.

Thomas is called to the scene and finds several strange clues, including the obituary for a Korean War veteran, his own thesis on angels, and an ancient Bible that contains a previously unknown chapter in the Book of Revelations. After the coroner discovers many baffling physical traits in Usiel's corpse, Thomas begins to suspect the LAPD may have the body of an angel on ice. After a man in black forces his way into the morgue and destroys the body, Thomas heads to Chimney rock, the final resting place of the deceased war veteran, and goes hunting for answers.

Is The Prophecy scary? Well, that depends entirely on what you believe. Through young Mary, we get a glimpse of just how heinous the late Col. Hawthorne was/is/can be, and the thought of such a dark twisted entity deciding the ultimate fate of Heaven is quite a terrifying thought. Christopher Walken delivers a powerful performance as the rogue archangel Gabriel. I once heard someone describe Walken as "reptilian," and I can't think of a more apt descriptor for the actor.

Viggo Mortensen portrays Lucifer in this film, and he does so with a chilling blend of charisma and menace. Of all the Lucifers to ever grace the screen, Viggo is by far my favorite. Sorry, Tom Ellis. As I watched Mortensen, I couldn't help but think he would have made the perfect Randall Flagg. I feel I've gushed enough about Walken and Mortensen. Elias Koteas also deserves his due for his portrayal of Detective Thomas Daggett. I personally feel this is Koteas' finest role, and that's saying something, folks, because I'm a major Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan.

Whether you're a believer or not, The Prophecy is a fantastic religious thriller. Blurring the lines between fantasy and horror, it's accessible for fans of both genres and features some incredible performances from a stellar cast. Do yourself a favor and put the kids to bed, turn off the lights, and give The Prophecy a watch. It's available to watch free with advertisements on both Vuvu and Tubi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7PSZ7NDEgU

Two Evil Eyes - 11/31 Days of Halloween 2020

I reviewed this film once before on my old website, but that review was unfortunately lost back in the Great Balzer Hissy Fit of 2016, so I figured, "What the hell?" Let's do it again for a new audience.

I know I've mentioned before how much I love anthology films. When you have a short attention span like I do, sometimes you like to get your horror fix in bite-sized portions to get more bang for your buck.

And although I'm not quite as obsessed as many of my peers, I do enjoy the works of Edgar Allan Poe. Poe's works have been adapted for the screen countless times over several generations of cinema, but rarely has it been adapted in such a gory fashion as today's film. From horror legends George A. Romero and Dario Argento, let's take a look at 1990's Two Evil Eyes.

Our first story in this duology of terror is "The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar." The wife of a dying man visits his attorney to liquidate some assets. The attorney is skeptical at first but is assuaged when he speaks to his client on the phone. Unbeknownst to him, however, Mr. Valdemar is being controlled by his physician who is also a mesmerist. The doctor and Mrs. Valdemar are certain their plan to rob the dying man of his riches will succeed until the old man suddenly dies while under hypnosis. This complicates matters, but the lovers decide to hide the body in the freezer until all of the paperwork goes through. All seems well until the widow hears a familiar voice calling from the freezer in the basement.

CONTENT WARNING: ,"The Black Cat" contains multiple scenes of animal torture. The film ends with a full-screen message from the Humane Society stating that no animals were harmed or caused any distress in the making of the film. If you are sensitive to such imagery, however, you may wish to skip "The Black Cat.",

Of the two stories presented in Two Evil Eyes, "The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar" is my favorite. Not only does the story feature human monsters that Poe is so well-known for, but we get some zombie action as well, which is always a treat whenever Romero is involved. Not stopping there, though, the story explores the idea of life after death beyond this plane of existence. When the others use Valdemar's corpse as a conduit to enter our world and he moans his final warning to Hoffman, it's utterly chilling. When Tom Atkins appeared as a cigar-chomping detective, I half expected him to say, "Thrill me" in reference to his role in Night of the Creeps. I'm a little disappointed that he didn't.

The second story, "The Black Cat," is actually a bit of a grab bag of references to multiple Poe stories. There are elements of "The Pit and the Pendulum," "The Fall of the House of Usher," and I'm sure there are others I'm forgetting at the moment. It's clear that Argento had fun with this one, and as soon as I saw Tom Savini, who has a small uncredited cameo in this story, I knew instantly that he had a hand in the special effects. Without spoiling the ending, I will say I wouldn't advise watching this one on a full stomach. Harvey Keitel is phenomenal in the role of the rapidly unravelling Rod Usher, and while this story isn't my favorite in the film, his performance is.

It's hard to go wrong with Poe, the undisputed master of the macabre, and Two Evil Eyes lovingly adapts his work for a modern setting and a modern audience while giving us some wonderful comeuppance endings horror anthologies are so well known for. If you get the chance, I highly recommend this one. Two Evil Eyes is currently available free with advertisements on both Vudu and Tubi.

https://youtu.be/isooRU2d5DQ

The Relic - 10/31 Days of Halloween 2020

(Please note: This movie should not be confused with the unrelated 2020 film Relic .)

It should come as no surprise to you that I love books. It's an occupational hazard, after all. Book-to-film adaptations, however, ehhh... that can be a bit of a touchy subject, especially when the source novel is a beloved one. Don't get me wrong, there are some fantastic films adapted from books, but there are also some abysmal ones. We've all got one that bothers (read: insults) us as readers. For my old man, it's Starship Troopers, for me it's Edge of Tomorrow. For my wife, however, the works of Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child are sacred, so when Hollywood set out to adapt one of their most popular novels for the big screen, she was equally excited and apprehensive. Well, let's find out how today's movie fares, shall we? Let's tear the lid off the 1997 film The Relic, based on the 1995 novel of the same name.

Are you familiar with the concept of "book slappers?" A "book slapper" is a person whose job is to supervise a film's production, and if the film deviates too much from the source material, the book slapper wallops the director, writer, producer, etc with a copy of the book, preferably hardcover to maximize welts and bruising. Unfortunately, book slapper is only a hypothetical position. I say "unfortunate," because The Relic desperately needed a book slapper on set. Let's dismiss the film's unnecessary "The" in the title; that's a gimme. The movie's offenses are many, but probably the most egregious to Preston & Child fans is the complete omission of the book's hero (and a recurring feature of the duo's novels), FBI Agent Pendergast. Pendergast's character is rolled into Lieutenant D'Agosta, who is a tired, boring, dumb cop stereotype who comes off as completely unlikeable compared to the eccentric and charismatic Agent Pendergast. Had the film left Pendergast in, they could have had a multi-film franchise on their hands, even going beyond the novel's sequel Reliquary. Oh, that reminds me! They also killed off Reliquary's villain in the movie, completely robbing themselves of a potential sequel any self-respecting Preston & Child fan would consider seeing. *SLAP*

I could go on listing the movie's deviations from the source material, but Wikipedia already did that. To me, the Kothoga's rampage through the museum seems completely meandering, as if the editor had trouble keeping the sequence of events in the film's final act straight. For some reason, the writers felt it prudent to spend more time focusing on D'Agosta's constant headbutting and chest thumping with museum security and city officials than the actual... you know... crisis going on. Speaking of the writers, they should be ashamed of their ham-handed attempts at humor.

The creature effects themselves are actually quite impressive and stand up quite well for the most part. Most of the time we only see the creature in shadow, but toward the end of the final act, we finally get a good look at it, and while the creature's face is a bit silly, the movie still manages to sell the idea of this being a living, breathing, moving creature quite well. All of this falls apart during the climax, however, when Margo sets the creature on fire. The CGI flames look completely hokey from start to finish, even by late 1990s standards.

I'm afraid I have to go with my wife's opinion on this one. The Relic really drops the ball in several ways, including painting itself into a corner by killing any hopes of a sequel anyone would actually give a rat's ass about. If you're not a fan of the books, the movie is passable, but just barely. It still suffers from an unlikeable male lead and some unforgivably stupid characters, which is quite an accomplishment for a building full of academics. If you just want something light on story and heavy on gory, go ahead and give the movie a go. Otherwise, I highly recommend giving the novel and its sequel(s) a read instead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFbvUDpRBuo

Priest - 9/31 Days of Halloween 2020

Oh, how I do love vampires, especially unique takes on the monsters that stray from the Euro-trash, pretty boy trope. Give me predators. Fucking land sharks, man.

I also love post-apocalyptic and dystopian fiction. I mean, hell... it's my bread and butter! Now if you can combine post-apocalyptic wastelands with vampires, then you, my friend, have got my undivided attention.

Today's movie flew under my radar for the past nine years, and I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps the title? The poster which looks like a cheap Assassin's Creed knockoff? Both very good possibilities. However, as I've already pointed out in my review of The Video Dead, you can't always judge a movie by it's poster. Well, the train's leaving, so let's climb aboard and take a ride with 2011's Priest.

As the movie opens, we join an elite group of vampire hunters known as priests entering a vampire hive. Unfortunately, the vampires have set a trap for the priests, and one of their own is left behind. We then follow an animated history of mankind's eternal war against the vampires. Recently the vampires were forced into reservations while most of humanity enjoys the protection of walled cities run by the church. Since the vampire menace has been contained, the priests have been disbanded.

Not all is as neat and tidy as the church would have the city's citizens believe, however, because a horde of vampires attacks a family in the wasteland. A small-town sheriff tracks our hero (simply known as Priest) to the city and informs him that his brother's daughter has been taken by vampires. Defying the churche's orders, Priest joins the sheriff and ventures into the wasteland to search for the missing girl and eradicate the vampires responsible for the deaths of his family.

I love the look of this movie, especially the city. I get a real Equilibrium vibe from it, which is another amazing dystopian flick you should check out. The movie has a wonderful "used future" aesthetic. Probably my favorite thing about this movie, and it may seem silly, is Priest's bike. I love the jet turbine. It's like a Star Wars speeder with wheels. It's not too farfetched. It's got just the right amount of high tech flavor. I also feel compelled to mention the automated confession booths. The scene where Priest, frustrated by his inability to actually receive any true guidance from the monsignor, gives confession is great. This may be a vampire-killing movie at its heart, but there's some amazing dystopian imagery and themes going on here that I don't think a lot of people pick up on or give the movie proper credit for.

Let's talk about the villains. The vampires are sightless, speechless predators. It almost seems silly that they sleep in crypts like your typical vampire. The familiars are much closer to what most movie audiences picture when they think of vampires. Then, of course, there's the movie's main antagonist, the priest-turned-dhampir "Black Hat." Exactly why the vampire queen was able to make him into a dhampir when apparently no other had ever come before is left unclear, and based on the film's poor critical reception, it's unlikely that we'll ever get any answers. Which is a downright shame, because I want answers! Karl Urban is fantastic as Black Hat, and this film only cements my belief that he'd be a perfect fit for my own duster-wearing, wasteland wandering badass, The Weller. Call me, Karl. Let's talk. Seriously.

Priest is a fantastic science fiction/horror thriller, and I wish Hollywood would greenlight a sequel, because there's clearly more story to be told. Perhaps I'll check out the comic book source material to scratch that particular itch. If you're a fan of cautionary dystopian tales like Equilibrium or vampire-killing blood baths like Underworld, or good ol' sci-fi westerns (God, I love me a good SF western), then give Priest a shot. You won't be disappointed.

https://youtu.be/-VNczhWD2ao

Mad Monster Party? - 8/31 Days of Halloween 2020

Just because we're reviewing spooky movies doesn't mean we have to leave the kids out of the fun. If anyone knows how to do family-friendly holiday fun right, it's the animation giant Rankin/Bass, the same studio that brought us Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and one of my all-time favorite animated features, The Wind in the Willows.

Unfortunately, the medium of claymation is a bit of a lost art in this age of computer animation. It's true that GGI often obtains a similar look, but there's just something tangible and organic about claymation.

Today's film takes a look at the personal lives of classic monsters popularized by the classic black and white Universal pictures. Without any further ado, let's step into Frankenstein's laboratory and examine the mad experiment that is 1967's Mad Monster Party?

Nervous Felix is overjoyed to be invited, believing his destination to be a tropical resort. He boards a freighter bound for the Isle of Evil along with the likes of Dracula, the werewolf, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the mummy, Dr. Jekkyl (and his alter ego Mr. Hyde), and the invisible man. When the monsters arrive, they are dismayed by Frankenstein's announcement, but Francesca, feeling betrayed by the doctor, strikes a deal with Dracula to steal the matter destroyer formula and eliminate Felix.

Mad Monster Party? is a wonderful introduction to all the classic horror characters and personalities fans have come to know and love over the years, all while remaining safe and accessible with spooky fun that comes across as lighthearted and wholesome as opposed to terrifying.

is a simple toe tapper that even the youngest boils and ghouls can follow along with. The late Ethel Ennis provides the opening theme song.

Mad Monster Party? doesn't get nearly the same recognition as its holly-jolly winter counterparts, and that's really a crime, because it deserves to be experienced by younger generations and not lost to obscurity. It's true that Phyllis Diller's performance as the monster's mate can get a little grating at times, and I can't help but wonder how much she was allowed to ad lib. Most of the main characters are voiced by Alan Swift, whose impression of Peter Lorre makes up for some of Diller's cringier moments.

I think I've made my opinion clear. Mad Monster Party? is a great movie for horror fans both young and young at heart. I was able to get it on sale in HD for a mere $4.99 on Vudu, and it's worth every penny. Do yourself a favor and watch this one with the kids. You're in for a scream!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vShbYR9DlYU

Midsommar - 6/31 Days of Halloween 2020

Have you ever wanted to try LSD or other mind-altering drugs but were too afraid to go through with it? What if I told you it was possible to get the experience without any of the risk? Interested?

Cool. We can continue.

Today's film was another recommendation from a friend, albeit a different one this time, and man the two recommendations couldn't possibly be any more different if they tried.

I'll admit this one's a bit outside my wheelhouse, so I was a little hesitant going in, particularly when I saw the two-and-a-half-hours run time. Well, tourists, I hope you've cleared some time on your schedule, because we're taking a wild trip with 2019's Midsommar.

As our film opens, we find a young woman named Dani, who is in obvious distress as she's received a troubling, cryptic email from her sister. Her boyfriend, Christian, tries to reassure her and returns to socializing with his friends, who urge him to break up with Dani as their relationship has been troubled for the past year. Dani calls back, screaming, because firefighters have just discovered her parents and sister, dead by carbon monoxide poisoning in an obvious murder/suicide. Reluctant to break up with Dani due to her grief and upcoming birthday, Christian invites her along with him and his friends on a trip to visit their friend Pelle's hometown in Sweden for the summer solstice festival.

Almost immediately the Americans are unsettled by the strange life and customs of the community, called the Hårga. They find the locals to be kind and inviting, however, and do their best to acclimate. Unfortunately the idyllic charm of the Hårga is shattered when they witness an appalling and gruesome suicide ritual. Things only go downhill from there as the tourists begin to disappear one by one and tensions rise among those who remain.

Hooooooooo boy! Well... how do I put this? Midsommar felt like watching one of Alejandro Jodorowsky's wet dreams. Remember how I said it was like an acid trip without the drugs? I meant it. You'll need a keen eye to catch some of the strange and unnerving (but subtle) visual effects, so put down your phone and pay attention. Blink and you literally might miss something. This is most certainly an arthouse film, and definitely not a traditional horror film. There are no hockey masks and razor gloves to be found in the Hårga. It's far far more diabolical, let me assure you.

From the moment the tourists arrived, I knew the locals weren't your typical tree-loving, stoner hippies. My cult sense was tingling from the moment the first Swedish syllable was uttered. One of the characters references Waco, and they wouldn't be too far off. If there's one thing Midsommar does correctly and does quite well, it's establishing humans as monsters. It's often said that the best villains are those who do not believe they are evil, and while I personally disagree, the people of the Hårga do fit the bill.

Midsommar is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach. While almost completely devoid of jump scares, the film does contain gore that rivals even the Saw franchise in its grotesqueness. Considering the budget, some of the practical gore effects are quite impressive and would probably have industry greats like Tom Savini and Gregg Nicotero cheering in their seats. This movie is equal parts body horror and psychological thriller, and at times it's hard to determine which of those elements is more unsettling. Whatever you do, put the children to bed before putting this film on.

So you're probably wondering my verdict. Honestly, I'm divided. If I had to sum the movie up in just one sentence, it would be that Midsommar is the longest and weirdest breakup movie ever made. Midsommar is most definitely not my cup of tea, but I'll admit that it does what it set out to do well, especially on a budget of only 9 million dollars. It's disgusting, it's perverted, it's sinister, and above all... it's un-fucking-settling. If you have the stomach for it and find sex/death cults fascinating, or if you just like weird white people being weird white people, then give Midsommar a shot. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

https://youtu.be/1Vnghdsjmd0

Friday the 13th Part VI - Jason Lives - 7/31 Days of Halloween 2020

So yesterday was interesting, right? I'm not goin to lie, my head is still reeling from that little cinematic acid trip. For today's movie, I wanted to go with something fun and familiar to me. I'm a big fan of slashers, with the Halloween, Scream, and Friday the 13th franchises being among my all-time favorites. But over the past few years I've covered Michael (twice), Ghostface, Chucky (twice), Pinhead, and even Freddy Krueger (sorta?), so that leaves just one of the big horror juggernauts...

Jason motherfuckin' Voorhees.

But where to begin? Do we start at the beginning, the original Friday where Jason hardly even appears? The stellar (fight me, nerd) 2009 remake? Nah, if you have to choose just one iconic Jason film to represent them all, there's only one logical choice, and that's his campy, over-the-top return from the grave in 1986's Friday the 13th Part VI - Jason Lives!

As the movie opens, we find Tommy Jarvis, the hero of previous installments The Final Chapter and A New Beginning determined to dig up Jason's body and burn it, sending the bastard to Hell forever. The plan goes awry, however, when a bolt of lightning resurrects Jason and supercharges him like Frankenstein's monster. After a bloody title card spoofing James Bond, we realize Tommy's worst fears have come true... Jason lives!

Jason Lives has to be the most batshit bonkers installment in the original eight Paramount films, and that's clearly by design. But who can blame them? The series had already gone to 3-D, seen Jason put down (seemingly) for good and a copycat killer rise up to replace him. Where else could the series go from there? Make Jason a super-powered zombie, of course! This movie brings the Tommy Jarvis trilogy to a close, and I'm thankful for that. The series needed some New Blood. See what I did there? But who knows, maybe we'll get another sequel someday that will bring back Corey Feldman, the original Tommy Jarvis. Hey... I can dream.

Jason Lives rocks, literally. Shock rocker Alice Cooper provided two songs for the film's sountrack, Teenage Frankenstein and "He's Back" (The Man Behind the Mask). Teenage Frankenstein plays over my favorite kill in the movie, which I think most fans would agree was the most annoying character in the movie. Cooper's music is the perfect accompaniment for Jason's triumphant return. "He's Back" has been covered numerous times, but nobody else can compare to Alice Cooper.

My verdict shouldn't come as a surprise. I give Jason Lives a big severed thumbs up. As much as I recommend this movie, however, you really must start with the original to get the full story. If you love slashers, you won't regret it. Before I started doing these reviews, I used to marathon this entire series every October, that's how much I love them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ETsQHtUqcs

The Witches (1990) - 5/31 Days of Halloween 2020

So far, our Halloween flicks have been pretty gruesome and hardly family-appropriate. I like to get a mix of mature and kid-friendly movies in my October lineup this year, so why don't we slow things down and gather the kids around the TV tonight.

Today's movie was recommended by a good friend who's actually been gently poking me to give it a watch for a while. With her not being a fan of the horror genre in general, I knew this movie had to be special if this particular friend was recommending it. The fact that it stars Angelica Huston is just icing on the cake. Who can say no to Morticia Addams!? So set your mousetraps and skip today's shower, kids, because tonight we're going to check in to 1990's The Witches, based on the children's book by Roald Dahl.

As our movie opens, a young boy named Luke is being treated to tales of evil witches by his grandmother Helga who claims to be the survivor of a witch attack that claimed one of her fingers. Luke learns that witches are ugly, wear disguises, and hate the smell of children. After Luke's parents are tragically killed, Helga and the boy move to England. Luke realizes his grandmother is telling the truth when a witch attempts to tempt him with candy. After Helga is diagnosed with diabetes, she and Luke decide to go on holiday and check into a luxurious, seaside hotel.

Unbeknownst to the vacationers, the hotel is also playing host to a convention of England's witches, led by the grand high witch herself. When Luke is accidentally locked inside the ballroom with the witches, he learns of their plot to turn all of England's children into mice with a magic potion called Formula 86. Drawn by his scent, the witches discover Luke and turn him into a mouse. In his new form, Luke must make his way back to his grandmother and warn her of the witches' plot before it's too late.

If I had to sum up this movie in one word, it would be adorable. It manages to be scary without being traumatizing. There's plenty of humor and wholesome moments to balance the creepy bits, but they certainly don't water the creep factor down. Angelica Huston's portrayal of the grand high witch is delightfully wicked.

The effects were done by Jim Henson, and it shows. Sadly, The Witches was Henson's final film before his passing. I feel a bit more attention could have been given to the other witches' makeup, but Huston's steals the spotlight and rightfully so. The transitions between Mouse Luke and real mice are about as seamless as one could hope for in a pre-CGI world, and the closeups are fantastic. Overall, I'd say the effects still hold up rather well after thirty years.

My verdict is... watch this movie. Watch it with your family. I just learned there's a remake starring Anne Hathaway coming to HBO Max this month. Frankly, I don't think we needed one since I feel this movie still holds up well, but I'll admit that I am curious after watching the trailer. Anne Hathaway has some big, sensible shoes to fill.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_ZyqaN_XNM

The Video Dead - 4/31 Days of Halloween 2020

Have you ever chosen a movie based solely on the poster or box art? If you grew up in the 80s perusing the shelves in video rental stores, then chances are pretty damn good that you have. The 80s were a kind of box art renaissance. Hell, entire books have been published celebrating this very thing. Unfortunately, some of those cover artists in the 80s did their job a little too well.

It should come as no surprise that I love zombie movies. What I really love, though, are movies that break out of the tired mold of early Romero, raccoon-eyed shamblers. A perfect example of this is 1985's The Return of the Living Dead with its smart, heavily decayed runners. Is it realistic? Hell no! Who cares about realistic? We're talking about zombies, dammit! The juicier the better, right? Eh, maybe. Let's tune into 1987's direct-to-video chiller, The Video Dead.

Our movie opens with a pair of delivery men dropping off a wooden crate to a famous writer. Confused because he didn't order anything, the writer accepts the crate anyway and opens it, discovering a television set with the screen covered by a mirror. Later, his work is interrupted by the television, which is showing a movie called Zombie Blood Nightmare. He turns the movie off, but the television keeps turning itself on. Fed up, he unplugs the set and goes to bed. That night, a decaying zombie emerges from the set. The next day, the delivery drivers return to collect the set, realizing it had been delivered to the wrong address, instead intended for the Institute for Paranormal Research. They discover the writer's corpse displayed in party clothes.

Months later, the house is sold, and teens Zoe and Jeff arrive to prep the house for their parents' arrival while they're overseas. A strange man appears at the house and inquires about the television, warning of danger, but Jeff blows him off. Later, a voice calls out to Jeff from the attic, and he discovers the television. While Jeff attempts to watch Zombie Blood Nightmare, a woman emerges from the set and seduces him before returning to the set to taunt him. Jeff is horrified when a man who calls himself "the Garbage Man" warns him that the dead have escaped, and the only way to stop them is to block the screen with a mirror. At first, Jeff chalks the experience up to bad marijuana, but when one of the video dead attempts to attack him through the screen, Jeff is made a believer, and the true zombie blood nightmare begins.

The Video Dead explores some fun, fresh (rotten?) takes on the living dead. The movie does play fast and loose with its own rules in a few places, but can you really fault a movie called The Video Dead? The dead themselves are a strange mix of zombies reminiscent of both early and late Romero, Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, and even rejects from a Lordi music video. One of the coolest visuals in the movie is when Jeff and Mr. Daniels kill a zombie in the woods and live mice scamper out of the gore. That's a neat little detail that really drives home the fact that these things a truly rotten.
The Video Dead is a guilty pleasure. Despite its unanswered questions, it's a lot of fun. And how can you not love that poster art? Seriously!! Do yourself a favor and give this schlocky gem a try. https://youtu.be/G7bdqSZA7zM