Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos's Blog, page 11

Honest Talk About Infertility Has Long Reach

You want to talk about a loaded topic? There are few disclosures as emotionally charged as admitting that you were unable to conceive children. If you think it’s awkward for a woman, try wading into that discussion as a man.  There are very few who possess the courage or emotional stamina to go there. As Eric writes: “Boxed in by the same profoundly evolutionary, not to mention social, archetypes, that can make a woman feel like a failure for being unable to get pregnant, what could make one less of ‘a man’ than being unable to ‘get the job done?’

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Jennifer Aniston: Yes, Motherhood Obsession Needs to Stop

Jennifer Aniston grabbed the spotlight this week in a fiercely worded Huffington Post piece. In 913 words she accomplished what many women (yours truly among them) have spent years trying to do: bring attention to a pervasive tendency by society to look down on women who are not mothers. She was helped along in her cause by a political misstep across the pond — more on that in a minute. First, Jennifer Aniston called out everyone who contributes to the devaluing and marginalizing of women who do not fit a one-dimensional “ideal.” Her HuffPo piece led to many ‘attagirls’ for

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Strong? Stronger Than Ever, Thank You Very Much

Strong? You want strong? I nominate women who stop or forego risk-laden IVF treatment. They are as far as you can get from the widespread narrative that they are weak, pitiful creatures who couldn’t hang. The strong women I know faced the music. They asked the hard questions. They said, no, to doctors and clinics pushing more, More, MORE tests, and new, unproven IVF ‘add-ons.’  In today’s society they have to swim upstream. Run against the herd. Make an unpopular move. They truly are among the very strongest women I know. The latest woman to enter the arena of strength

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Unspoken Reproductive Medicine Reality: Facing Life Without Children When It Isn’t by Choice

Eight years ago this week I emerged from obscurity because of faulty reproductive organs and the failure of reproductive medicine. Revealing a prolonged, painful ‘unexplained’ infertility experience is not exactly the entrance on to the world stage anyone dreams about.   It was, in a word, terrifying.  As I wrote in Finally Heard, the ebook followup to Silent Sorority (the first memoir about infertility not authored by a mother — but far from the last): June 9, 2008, was a pivotal day in what had been a perfect storm of fear. That day I walked nervously into my boss’ office

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The Exhilaration of Acceptance

It doesn’t matter what age, what ethnicity, what country we hail from — we all desire respect, acknowledgment and acceptance. This very human need manifests itself on playgrounds, in communities and in our day-to-day encounters.  It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. In fact, it’s the gentle gesture that often leaves the largest impact. A friendly smile, a nod of the head, an extended hand or kind word can change someone’s day. It can also change someone’s life. I know. I’ve been that timid girl on the playground. I’ve been that anxious young woman arriving in a new place

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Biological Clock and the Capitalizing of Fertility Fears

Moira Weigel’s essay in The Guardian, The foul reign of the biological clock, casts new light on a little explored but powerful cultural phenomenon. It also revealed the fertility industry’s long history of capitalizing on fertility fears, with women paying the price. Let’s start with the facts. The term ‘biological clock,’ Weigel explains, was originally coined by scientists to describe circadian rhythms, the processes that tell our bodies when we should rise, eat, and sleep. In the late 1970s, however, the term quickly became a fixture in popular lexicon — a shorthand for the finite nature of female fertility. Embedded

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Room for Dissent on IVF?

Should IVF Coverage Be Mandatory? Writer Christina Gombar first posed this provocative question in 2009.  In a stand against RESOLVE’s stated goal to “control the conversation,” she agreed to let me repost her dissent perspective here. ~~ A couple of Decembers ago, I got an email from Resolve, the national infertility organization — a plea for end-of-year, tax-deductible donations. “Imagine a world where fertility treatment didn’t exist …”  began the missive. It had been years since I looked to Resolve for aid in my finally defunct effort to have a family. The organization then claimed to serve a dual purpose:

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#StartAsking About Conflicts of Interest

I like a good cause as much as the next person so long as there are no conflicts of interest. In fact, I’m pretty much a softie when it comes to forking over cash or signing a Change.org petition to save the planet or the like.  Who doesn’t want to be a part of something meaningful, maybe accomplish good things by rallying around an idea, movement or disaster relief need? Go Humans! I also have a hunch that most humans take non-profits and their causes at face value and assume the people leading the charge are stand up guys and

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#StartAsking About Conflict of Interests

I like a good cause as much as the next person so long as there are no conflict of interests. In fact, I’m pretty much a softie when it comes to forking over cash or signing a Change.org petition to save the planet or the like.  Who doesn’t want to be a part of something meaningful, maybe accomplish good things by rallying around an idea, movement or disaster relief need? Go Humans! I also have a hunch that most humans take non-profits and their causes at face value and assume the people leading the charge are stand up guys and

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Fertility Treatment Cancer Links, Rethinking IVF Funding

Fertility treatment, IVF and third-party reproduction have been in the headlines the past few weeks. Following is a recap. The reporting, I think you’ll agree, was particularly revealing and thought-provoking. As always, welcome your thoughts. Fertility Treatment and Cancer You never want to see the words fertility treatment and breast cancer in the same headline, but there it was this week: Fertility Treatments May Up Breast Cancer Risk That was just one of a few reports following a study released in the journal Breast Cancer Research. Researchers at Karolinska Institutet in Sweden, led by Frida Lundberg, surveyed 43,313 women aged

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