Gwendolyn Cease's Blog, page 19

No, I Don't Have Any Children . . . .

My entire adult life I have been asked if I have children. I'm a woman, after all, I should have them. I should want them. Guess what? I don't. I don't have children nor have I ever wanted children. It's not that I don't like kids, I do. I love them. I was a classroom teacher for 5 years (4 years with 5th grade and 1 year with 4th grade) and a museum educator for 5 years. I think kids are so smart and just not given the credit they deserve. They really are more observant and more clever than you think. But even knowing all of this, I don't want any of my own.

I've known that I don't want kids ever since I was a kid. When people ask me if I have kids I always joke that my mom did the mother's curse, you know the one. "I hope you have a kid just like you." And I knew I was such a brat there was no way I was having one. *cue laughter* Okay, that part is true. I was a huge brat and I'm often amazed that I made it into adulthood without my mother killing me dead. But that has nothing to do with why I don't have a kid. I don't have the desire to have one. I never felt my biological clock ticking or whatever. I never felt the urge to nurture a child in my body.

Perhaps it has to do with my childhood. My father, bless his heart (I'm southern and we do that) was an alcoholic. He could drink an entire case of beer by himself over the weekend. If you don't know how many that is, it's 24 bottles of beer. My mom would maybe get 1 and he'd drink the rest. Sometimes, he wouldn't bother coming home from work on Friday and be gone all weekend long. He'd finally stagger in on Sunday evening where there would be icy silences and low conversations. Though he'd do all this, my mother never divorced him and she would buy the cases of beer. So she was an enabler and I'm sure she didn't see herself that way, but a billion dollars worth of therapy and a lot of years tells me that she was.

In the midst of this dysfunctional household, which totally revolved around my dad's drinking, controlling the drinking, and managing the drinking my mom just didn't have time. She often said she had 3 children and her daughters were the easiest to take care of. Anyway, because of this dysfunction within our tiny family unit I was sexually molested by an older cousin when I was around 6. I never told and no one noticed. I lived with this secret for a very long time. It totally shaped my entire life and how I saw things and the decisions I made. So kids, no way. Hell on a good day I was lucky to take care of myself. I knew there was no way I could take care of a child.

I eventually went to therapy and after a blue million dollars I am so much healthier and happier. I realize now I have clinical depression, which is a disease. This means my brain doesn't create certain chemicals I need to function on a normal daily basis. I'm smart and take meds for this. I know I will take these for the rest of my life and I'm good with that. I have to take blood pressure pills too so there really isn't much difference.

Even after the pills and the therapy I still know I don't want kids. Like I sad, I really love kids so I became a teacher. I love interacting with them and working with them and teaching them. But, at the end of the day, I want to go home and not have children in my house. My very close friends understand this about me. But I still meet many people who ask the question about kids and I explain I don't have them and I usually get the face. Or they say something like, "Well that's unfortunate." or "You'd make such an awesome mom." Thankfully I don't get the "you'll change your mind" anymore since I'm 48 and am considered "too old" to have kids.

I wonder if men are asked constantly if they have kids. I know as a woman I am so are men subjected to the same questioning? I remember the first time I was asked the kids question. It was at my dad's funeral, I was 19. Someone thought it was such a shame he didn't have grand kids and now he'd never see them. Yeah, guess what pal, there will never be any grand kids. Ever. I figured I'd leave that to my younger sister. Guess what? She didn't want kids either. Hmmm, so was it nature or nurture that didn't give us the burning desire to have children? Don't know, since I am not a scientist with a hundred degrees, but I do believe the household didn't nurture that urge to have children.

As an adult, I can look back and see that my mom did the best she could. She loved us and took care of us and supported us in whatever we wanted to do. She was our cheerleader and our confidant and the person we ran to when we were hurt. She often told us that we were the lights of her life. There wasn't a day that went by that we didn't know we were loved by her.

And none of that still encouraged me to have children. I know I'm not the only woman out there who didn't want children. I have friends who don't have children and didn't want children. So please do not pity us or shake your head and tsk when we tell you we have no children. In fact, don't make that the first question you ask a woman you just met as if that would be the biggest accomplishment in her entire life. Hell, ask about what book she's reading or if she's taken a vacation or where she had her nails done. If someone wants you to know about their kids I am sure they will tell you, but please don't naturally assume that just because a person has a womb they have kids.

And if you don't have kids and don't want kids please DO NOT be embarrassed or make excuses. You don't owe anyone an explanation about how you chose to live your life. Just make sure you have lived the kind of life you want and you are getting out of it the things that make you happy.

--GC

Crushing on Some Boy - Redo

Okay, so when I was a wee babe, much wee-er (is that a word) anyway than I thought, I had the most horrible crush on Tony DeFranco. Now, those of you who aren't of a certain age are probably saying, "Who the hell is he?" Well he was just the cutest little thing in a skin-tight powder blue jumpsuit with huge bell bottoms you'd ever want to see. 
That's him!! Isn't he utterly adorbs!

Oh and he worse a sequin belt, cannot forget that most important accessory to just overload a guy with manliness. Anyway, he and his family (think the Jackson 5, but not that much talent) had a song out called A Heartbeat is a Love Beat and I loved him. I thought he was the next best thing to a chocolate chip cookie or something like that. He made my little 7 year-old heart go pitter-patter or mayhaps would that be a "love beat."
Notice the powder blue jump suit! And his has a tiger on it. Grrrarrrr!!

I'm sure you are wondering why the crap I am bringing all this up. I will tell you, so hold your horses. My BFF and writing partner Jessica Jarman and I were on IM and we were chatting about stuff when I mentioned I had foundthe song. So I sent it to her. Then I went in search of the video. I knew there would be one. These people had a TV show, though I don't know how. So I found them on www.youtube.com dancing and singing their little hearts out and sent it to Jess. Where we spent the next 5 minute laughing uncontrollably. Between the posh outfits(the aforementioned powder blue jumpsuits) and the incredible dance moves (bad karate kicks and shoulder shrugs) we were weeping by the time it was over.
Check them out on Youtube!! And notice they are featuring Tony DeFranco. He wasn't some two-bit backup singer, he was the star baby!!!!  And I bet he didn't let anyone forget it. 



The point of all this rambling, and there is a point, is something along the lines of you can't go back. But, of course, that would be if I were mature and such. No, as most my friends will tell you, I'm pretty much 12 on a good day so MY point is go back and look at who you had a crush on when you were a kid. If you're still crushing on those types of people . . . RUN AWAY!!!!! Because believe me I have way outgrown jumpsuits and sequined belts. . . ornot. :-D
Listen to my heart pound!! Listen to my heart sound! And they could write awesome lyrics too. :-)
--GC

Fabulous Cover Reveal for Amazing Author Christine Allen-Riley!

Eventide (Iron Falls, #1)by Christine Allen-Riley Release Date: 10/2014
Summary from Goodreads:The driver in a tragic car accident that killed her best friend, Devon Greer is consumed by guilt. When powerful hallucinations convince her that she’s seeing Rachael everywhere, Devon thinks she’s going crazy. But her friend isn’t truly gone.
To save Rachael from the faeries who stole her, Devon must pit herself against the Court of the Sidhe. Once she witnesses the true form of the fey, Devon’s life is in danger—and so are the lives of everyone she loves.
Now, Devon must not only protect herself, but also Jonah Seafort, Rachael’s cousin and the only person Devon can trust to help her. While the Sidhe walk among them, no one is safe…

About the Author
Lover of books, nature, cats and shiny things. Active disliker of cooking, cleaning and stress. Mom, freelance editor & YA author - also a bit of a nerd.
Author Links:      



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Random Wednesday Blog: Self-Interview a la James Lipton

Hello!!Welcome to the Random Wednesday Blog! Yeah, I'm late and I'll tell you why, I didn't realize it was Wednesday. Whatever, make fun of me, but we came back from Authors After Dark on Sunday and I just can't seem to get my days straight. Oh way, I need a pic of a hot guy too. Can't do without that!!


Anyway, better late than never. Right??  So today's topic is a self-interview sort of like James Lipton does on In the Actors' Studio or whatever that show is called. For this you will have to pretend he's asking me questions. Are you ready??
Q: What’s your favorite word? A: You won a billion dollars! No really, my favorite words are The End. I love finishing a book and typing those two words.
Q: What’s your least favorite word? A: No, that's my least favorite word. I hate to use it and I hate to hear it, but sometimes it just has to be.
Q: What turns you on?A: The idea for a new book. I love when a new idea just appears in my head. 
Q: What turns you off? A: When I realize that I can't work on that new idea because I already have 10 other projects in front of it.
Q: What sound do you love?A: I love hearing my friends laugh. I also love the sound of the surf on the beach.
Q: What sound do you hate?A: The alarm clock going off in the morning
Q: What’s your favorite curse word?A: Fuck of course
Q: What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?A: Photojournalist. I would love to take pics that touch people
Q: What profession would you not like to do?A: One that makes you work outside all day. That is so not for me.
Q: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?A: Good Job! Now all your friends and family are over there so go on now and have a good time. I imagine god as a polite southern lady.
Q: Dog or cat person?A: Both, but right now I have cats
Q: Coffee or tea?A: Both, but I like tea more
Q: Star Wars or Star Trek?A: Star Trek!
Q: Buffy, Angel or FireflyA: I loved Buffy, that show totally cracked me up
Q: Pirate or ninja?A: Ninja because they are way cooler
Q: Morning or night person?A: Night person though I've been trying to break the stay up all night routine.
Q: Procrastinator or get things done early?A: Sadly, I am a procrastinator. 
Q: Introvert or extrovertA: Introvert, though you might not realize it. But I need alone time to recharge and get myself back together.
Q: What do you like best about writing?A: I love creating my own worlds and people. I love the creativity that sometimes just flows and I will often look at what I write and think, "Damn, that's good."
Q: What do you like least?A: That I'm not faster at it and I can't seem to force myself into a schedule.
And there it is, the self-interview. Now go check out the other Blogger Girlz and see what they have to say for themselves. I bet it will be way interesting. 
Bronwyn, Jessica, Kellie, and Kris
See you next week!! --GC

Random Wednesday Post: A Few of my Favorite Things . . . TV Shows

Welcome back to the randomness that is the Random Wednesday Blog!!  This week's topic is all about our favorite TV shows. I'll admit I don't get attached to a lot of programs on TV. I don't like the thought that I have to watch something each and every week. Sometimes I'll start watching a program then so many weeks in I'll dump it because it just sucks up too much time. Like I'm so busy or something. *snort*  Anyway, here are some of the shows that have made the cut and I must watch them every week.

1. Sleepy Hollow (OMG!!!! I love, love, love this show) And this is one of the reasons why. Tom Mison is amazing. He's not just an awesome actor, but is so yummy in his role as Ichabod Crane.  The show is also creepy and funny and just an awesomely good time.




















2. The Big Bang Theory - this show never fails to make me laugh. And, since I'm a fairly big nerd, I get most of the stuff they're talking about. Score for me.

3. The Three Musketeers - new show I've discovered on BBC America and I really like it. The action is fast, the stories are good and the actors are talented. And hot, have I mentioned they're hot.

4. 10 Things You Don't Know About - this show is on the History Channel and is hosted by Henry Rollins of the Rollins Band and Black Flag. I am a huge history geek and this show is so well done. My favorite show they've done so far is 10 Things You Don't Know About the Founding Fathers.

5. Top Gear (British version on BBC American) - okay don't judge, but I love this show. The three hosts never fail to make me laugh, often so hard I am crying. My sister and I started watching this about two years ago and we faithfully DVR it each week.

6. Monumental Mysteries and Mysteries at the Museum - both of these are on the Travel Channel and star Don Wildman who is pretty good to look at. But, once again, I like them because they always have some kind of history they're talking about. Plus, the shows are often just fun.












That's it for me, like I said I don't watch tons of TV. Now, my sister, on the other hand, jeez louise she watches like a billion shows a week. When she moved in with me our TV bill went from 30.00 a month to well over 100.00 and she had a huge list of shows she brought with her to make sure she DVR'd everything she loves. The woman watches everything from Orphan Black to Doctor Who to Arrow and Supernatural. I often cannot keep up with her TV viewing list.

Now head over to see what the other Blogger Girlz are watching: Bronwyn and Jessica. Maybe you'll discover some new shows you need to try.

See you next week! --GC

Deep Thoughts for a Sunday Night

I saw the above ditty on Facebook and it really hit me that this is so true. And, yes, you're right, this is probably going to be mildly serious. But it's a Sunday night and if you can't have serious thoughts on a Sunday, when should you have them???

So about a blue million years ago (which if you don't know is a really long time) I worked at B. Dalton Bookseller. It was supposed to be just for the holidays, but as with most things that's not how it turned out. Before the place closed I had collected a 5 year pin . . . yeah, don't judge. I loved that place. It was small and we were so close knit and it was a ton of fun.  Anyway, one day I was shelving books and I came across a book by Cherry Adair. I don't even know what book it was, but I thought it sounded good so I bought it. Let me also share that my paychecks rarely made it home from that place. I always ended up spending way more than I made. *shrug*

So I brought the book home and that weekend I got so sick it wasn't funny. I laid stunned the entire weekend and all I did was sleep and read the book. Once I felt well enough I realized I really loved the book so I wrote to the author to tell her. I never did this, ever, but for some reason I was driven to tell her how much I loved that book. She is so incredibly nice and we exchanged emails and she invited me to join her online writing group. She was going to mentor a group of us to our first book. O_O I was so excited! I had written my entire life, but had never finished a book.

Of course, I jumped at the chance and joined. Within a day or so, I was chatting with a girl in the group. She and I just clicked. She was married and had just had a baby and was currently going to school  and was living in another state and on the surface we really didn't have much in common since I wasn't married and didn't have a kid, but boy I sure understood about going to school. We also had the writing to talk about, which we did. Then the writing leaked over into our lives and who we were and just all kinds of stuff.

The group ended up dissolving since Cherry's career exploded overnight and she couldn't give us the time she wanted to. But the girl I had made friends with stayed my friend.

Now, that baby she just had is getting ready for his senior year of high school. And we've been friends for a very long time. We've visited one another a lot, flown across the country together, talked endlessly on the phone and by IM, and her family came to stay with me last summer without her. Because they're my family too. Who is this girl you ask?? It is the ever fabulous Jessica Jarman! I read the above post on FB and since I am going to see her this week at AAD I realized if it wasn't for Cherry I never would have met Jessica. If I wouldn't have met Jessica I doubt very highly I would have written the books I have or had the fun I've had.

If you see us at AAD don't be afraid come on up to us! Ask us about the flight we took from Seattle to Minneapolis where we laughed and laughed until we cried. Or the 15 hours drive where we listened to just 1 CD the entire way. Ahhh, Will Smith. Or just come up and tell us about that friend you have that changed your life too then I can share with you my friend that changed my life.

--GC

Random Wednesday Blog: What Motivates Me . . . . or Quite Screwing Around and Write Something!!!!

Welcome once again to the utterly fabulous Random Wednesday Blog! Today's topic is all about motivation. Yep, well here it is:


Thanks everyone for joining me this week . . . . And I so wish it was that easy. You know, stare at a pic of a really hot guy and bam book done. Doesn't happen, not for me. I don't think I know anyone who works this way. Of course, you'll need to check with the other Blogger Girlz to find out, but I doubt it.

I will admit that I am a procrastinator . . . a bad bad procrastinator. I don't mean to be, but I always find a billion other things I need to do other than write. When I was teaching full-time I was focused totally on my students 24/7. I had time during the summer to write so I remember cranking out 3 books. O_O Yeah, I know, that stuns me too. But I did it. When I left the classroom and went to the museum I just couldn't get myself in gear. My summers were suddenly gone because I was teaching summer camp all summer long. It didn't compute. So nothing really happened.

Recently, I was laid off from the museum due to budget cuts. :-( And my first week without work I actually finished a book. Huh, so what motivates me?? Desperation!! Sort of, but I've had Dangerous Promise sitting for so long I knew it was my time to finish it. So in a week I wrote well over 10,000 words and magically the book is done.

I've also found that music is still the great motivator. I tried writing without my MP3 player last week and the house was just too quiet. I live in a neighborhood bordered by woods so it's extremely quiet and I just couldn't do it. So music in equals tons of words. Another motivator for me is leaving my bedroom and sitting somewhere else in the house. I've written books sitting on my bed. In fact, the summer I wrote 3 I wrote so late into the night that it was morning. I think I would go to bed around 6am. But I refuse to do that now. I have to stay in a routine so I still get up with my alarm around 7:30 and do everything I would do to go to work. Now I just head to my computer.

Another motivator is taking a break. I know it doesn't sound like it, but it helps me. If I'm sitting and staring at the screen for too long I will start to goof off online and never stop. So I will actually get up and leave. I've driven to Starbucks for a drink, come home and cranked out a couple thousand words.

In the end, whatever works to motivate me to write is a good thing. The only thing I hate doing is cutting the grass though I have plotted out books doing that. It's miserable since my yard is all up hill or down, depending on how you want to look at it. I see up hill all the way.

So there you go. Those are my motivations. In the evening, if I throw in some wine, I can get even more done. :-) Now run over and check with the other ladies, Bronwyn, Jessica, Kris, Jenny, Leigh, Kellie, to see what they're up to and I will "see" you all next week.  Oh if you're headed to Author's After Dark then I'll see you for realz!!!!!!

--GC

Random Wednesday Post: Favorite Playlist

Hello!!! Welcome back to the much lauded Random Wednesday Blog. Today's topic is all about our favorite playlist. I will start by saying I love music and always have. I'm on my 4th MP3 player and couldn't do without it on a daily basis. It used to be I had to have it to write, but I can do without it now as long as it's silent. Don't get that very often so I still use it quite a bit.

Oh!!! Almost forgot the required hot guy pic:


*sigh*

Anyway, where was I?  That's right playlists. I don't usually make one for a book I'm writing, but I do have fav songs that I love to listen to and I drop those into a playlist. So here's the one I'm listening to now and don't laugh. I have very very eclectic taste.

ABC - Jackson 5
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett
Black Sheep - Gin Wigmore
Boombastic - Shaggy or you could see the one staring Mr. Bean
Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepson
Cherry, Cherry - Neil Diamond
Come & Get It - Selena Gomez
Dancing Machine - Jackson 5
Eight Days a Week - Beatles (and I don't even like them, but like this song)
Crocodile Rock - Elton John
Fergalicious - Fergie
Gangnam Style - PSY
Good Vibrations - Beach Boys
Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
Green Mind - Dink
Happy - Pharrell
Heartbeat - It's a Love Beat - The DeFranco Family (my first huge crush was Tony DeFranco. I even wrote                                                about him in a past post. Check out the video below, but don't be hatin'                                                        because Tony is mine!!!!!)



Hey Ya! - OutKast
Hot in Herre - Nelly
I Know What Boys Like - Waitresses
I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow
I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles (I sing this to my cat, Warlock the Wine Drinker, but to him it's I                                              wanna hold your paw)
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Love Shack - B52s
Madness - Muse
Mama's Pearl - Jackson 5 (yes I love them so sue me)
Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5
Papi - Jennifer Lopez
Party People - Nelly
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Roar - Katy Perry
Royals - Lorde
Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich
Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Mickey - Toni Basil
Truelove - Pink
Where Have you Been - Rhianna
Wobble - V.I.C.
Dark Horse - Katy Perry

And there it is!!! My favorite playlist. If you don't know any of the songs check them out on YouTube. I wouldn't steer you wrong.

If you want to see what the other Blogger Girlz are listening to go check them out!

Bronwyn, Jessica, Jenny, Kris, and Tess

Till next week -- GC

Random Wednesday Blog: Best Summer Memories

Hey Everybody! Welcome to the Random Wednesday Blog. Today the Blogger Girlz and I are talking about our best summer memories. But, of course, before I do I need to give us some majorly hot eye candy. And here he is:


If you're interested, I am using this photo as inspiration for a book I'm working on. :-) Yep, it does certainly inspire, doesn't it? So, where was I???  Oh yeah, summer memories. I actually do have a few so here we go:

When I was a kid, my cousin Denise lived right next door to me. She was certainly more like a big sister than she was a cousin and still is now. We would do all kinds of stuff together like skate and swim and jump rope. But the thing we both still remember today is building a tent. We would drag old sheets and bedspreads out of our houses and with a clever use of a fence, clothes pins, and sticks we would build incredible tents. We'd play in them all day long. For some reason, our parents never let us sleep out in them, but believe me they would have been awesome. I remember them being very roomy and just so much fun.

As an adult, my sister and I usually go someplace during the summer. I live with her and she is ten kinds of fun. We travel so well together and we've gone to some great places like Savannah, Charleston, and Myrtle Beach. My favorite was Charleston where we stayed at Middleton Plantation. OMG! So awesome. But when we got there she decided to go exploring and I wanted to take a shower. As I'm climbing out of the tub, she came running in yelling for me. Apparently, she had followed this path down to the water and what she thought was a log floating by turned out to be an alligator. She said it spied her, stopped swimming, backed up and sunk down in the water. That's when she turned and ran away.

My last favorite summer memory was driving to see Jessica Jarman. We don't live close so it's was like a 13 hour drive, but I was staying for nearly a week. At the end, Jess decided to go home with me and then fly back a week later. We left her house around 3:30 pm or so and drove all night long. We played one CD the entire time (Will Smith) and sang and danced like we had lost our minds. I think we finally got into my place around 4:30 am and slept until noon or after. It was crazy fun.

And those are my favorite summer memories. Check out the what Bronwyn, Kris and Jessica have to say.

--GC

Random Wednesday: If I Could Have a Super Power, I'd . . . or Worship Me Mortals for I am a Kind and Benevolent Goddess

Welcome back to the Random Wednesday Blog! Last week I totally missed because I was sick . . . with pneumonia! Who has pneumonia in the summer?? Yeah, obviously this girl does. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that the pills they give you are also good for plague and anthrax so I am all kinds of ready to withstand anything coming my way.

Anyway, the Blogger Girlz and I are chatting about what super power we would have, if we could have one. Oh wait, I forgot, I need to include hotness for my friend Norris:


Wow, he truly doesn't need a super power does he??? I mean the tattoo and the abs and the general almost nakedness is pretty much a power in and of itself. *sigh*

That's right, power, mine, if I could have one. So my super power would be the ability to transport anywhere I want to go. See I have friends in a lot of different places and I rarely get to see them. But, if I could zap in to visit then I could see them when I want. I also wouldn't have to deal with flying or driving, I would just go when I want. I also wouldn't have to deal with hotels and room rates and reservations. I could pop in, do what I want and then bam be back home in time to shower and go to bed.

I could also visit places that I've always wanted to see without too much fuss. Grand Canyon (bam I'm there), Scotland, England, Ireland (no problem I could do it on my vacation without all the flight delays and sitting in airports). It's the middle of January and I'm freezing my boot off, just go to Hawaii for the day and lounge on the beach for a while. Easy peasy!

Even better, I'd never have to drive to work again. I could just transport myself to the museum. Then, no matter what time I decided to leave, I could be home in a blink of an eye. I wouldn't have to pay for parking or sit in traffic ever again. *sigh* Now that is heaven.

If you are interested in what super powers the other Girlz would want, go and check them out. I am so sure you won't be disappointed. If you don't know, they are Bronwyn, Jessica, Kris, Jenny, Kellie, and Leigh

--GC