Gwendolyn Cease's Blog, page 15

5 WORDS OR LESS: MYSELF, MY LIFE, MY FAMILY

Happy Gwensday!! This week for the randomness we are trying something new. Apparently, I'm supposed to tell you about me, my life and my family in only five words. Bwahahahahaha!!! I'll try, really, but first let me give you Wednesday Hotness:



Huh, yeah even he doesn't look as if he thinks I'll be able to do this. Whatever . . . here I go:


Creative
Loving
Stressful
Awesome
Necessary

Well, there you go. Now go over and check the other Blogger Girlz out and see what words they've come up with. And, hey, tell me your 5 words down in the comments below. It's so much harder than you can imagine.

Bronwyn
Jessica
Kris
Jessica D
Kellie

See you all next week! --Gwen

DO YOU BELIEVE IN . . . LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? SOULMATES? DESTINY? UFOs? ASTRAL PROJECTIONS?

Hello and welcome to the Randomness that is Wednesday. Today, we are talking about all things that we may or may not believe in. Obviously, since we're getting close to Valentine's Day, it's all focused around romance. Oh, before we get started, gotta give you all Wednesday Hotness

So our big questions of the day involve concepts I'm sure you would imagine romance writers would be all over. I mean we write about most of this stuff everyday, we gotta believe in it right? Wrong. Fiction is . . . fiction. A romance novel is a piece of fiction and nothing about it is real. 
I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust at first sight. That's happened to me, and people I know, a number of times. But a true and lasting love takes time to build. Love that really lasts takes hard work and sacrifice. I do believe in instant attraction, as I've said. I'll tell you this really strange story to illustrate and it's totally real. So I was on vacation with a friend of mine when I was . . . maybe 16 or so. Her mother took us to this tiny church in the town where the resort we were staying at was. The time came in the mass (Catholic) when everyone gives their neighbors a "sign of peace." Depending on the relationship or lack there of, you shake hands with people. So I turn and, without really looking, offer my hand to the person behind me. As soon as we touch hands, it was as if this shock of electricity ran through me. I can't even begin to explain it. I looked up at him and he was staring down at me and I can't even tell you how long we stood like that. My friend finally said something pithy that broke the spell and I turned back around, but oh my gosh I still remember it to this day. 
Soulmates . .  nope don't believe in those either. I cannot believe there is one person in the entire world meant for someone. What if you don't live in the same city, state, country? What if that person has died? So no, don't believe in it. I DO believe that there are those couples who are totally suited to one another. Once again, I think it's due to them working together to make the relationship work. They truly love one another and because they do, they work to make sure they're both happy. 
I do believe in reincarnation because, I think we are just too amazing to only live once. We have lessons to learn for our souls to mature and the only way to do this is to come back over and over. I also believe that we come back surrounded by a core group of friends/family. Think about it, have you ever met someone that you just instantly clicked with? Like you know this person and understand this person and they know and understand you? I believe it's one of your core people.

Hmmm, now destiny is a different thing. I do believe certain things in our lives are fated to happen. I did a blog post awhile ago about how I met Jessica Jarman. The post was called Deep Thoughts for a Sunday Night and I wrote it on August 3, 2014. I went through how Jess and I met. If you want to read it here's a link.
So meeting Jess was really the jumping off point for my writing career. Maybe her career too, but you'd have to ask her that. I know that when we met I finally had someone who understand what I was going through. Someone I could bounce story ideas off of, run through plot points, and just talk about writing in general. She and I really pushed each other to write and to get published. She was even my editor on a number of my books. So, would I be where I am right now without the events that led up to us meeting? No, I don't think so. I do believe we were supposed to meet. Destiny. Fate. Whatever you want to call it, does step in and shove you toward the path you should be traveling. 
And those are my deep thoughts for a late Tuesday night. Do you believe in love at first sight, soulmates, or destiny? How about UFOs, Bigfoot, or astral projections? If you do, just let me know in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you.
Also, run out and check the other Blogger Girlz to see if they believe.
BronwynJessicaKrisJessica D.
I'll see you next week! Gwen

FAVE THINGS: VILLAINS!

Okay so villians are supposed to be those evil beings we root against in stories, movies, and TV shows. I'm betting though there are quite a few of us out there who love them. They make the story better, more exciting, or the villain is just so damn sexy. So I'm going to share with you the list of my favorite bad boys and girls. Oh wait! Before I do, here's Random Wednesday hotness:


Okay, so my list isn't in any particular order. It's just the ones who come to me as I type. See I'm bad, I don't do preplanning, not on my blogs or my books. Makes life just that much more exciting. 
1. Loki 
Oh yeah, this man pushes all my buttons. He's hot, sexy and just the ultimate bad boy. *fanning* Yeah, who cares if he tries to take over the planet or whatever. 
2. Captain Hook (Jason Isaacs)
As soon as I saw the opening of this movie with Hook without a shirt and all that wild black hair I was . . . hooked. ;-)  The man is hot and bad. I don't really watch beyond that point since he's fully clothed during the rest of the movie. LOL!
3. Cruella Deville
She's always been my favorite Disney villain. Well dressed, dramatic, and evil to the core. Yup, my kind of girl. Plus fashion wise she's got it going on. 
4. Dracula as played by Gary Oldman
Oh boy, did I sit up and notice when this man walked onto the screen. So sexy, so bad. Is it any wonder I love writing vampires. I watched this movie thinking Mina is so stupid, I would have so run off with him. 
5. Hannibal Lecter
I loved Silence of the Lambs and it was all because of Anthony Hopkins portrayal of Dr. Lecter. The man was a master from his voice to his movements. There was something very seductive and sexual about this ultimate predator. 
6. The Wicked Witch
I'm a pagan and witch, but I love this woman. She is truly bad and all for a pair of fabulous shoes. If that's not a reason for somebody to flip their shit I don't know what is. LOL! 
7. Loki . . . . have I mentioned him?? I did?? Well I might as well toss in another pic . . . you know since I have it

Anyway, those are my very favorite villains. Or at least the ones I can come up with right now. If you have any you'd like to mention just jot them down in the comments below. Also, you need to go check out the other Blogger Girlz to see how their favs are. I'm going to bet you Loki makes it on at least one or two other lists. LOL
BronwynJessicaKrisJessica D.

See you all next week! Gwen

LETTING GO

I can pretty much tell you this week has been the fucking lousiest week I've had since my mom died. It was tons worse than losing my job or deciding not to be a classroom teacher anymore. The idea of letting go of someone we love is immense. It doesn't matter who that someone is, whether he or she has two feet or four, when it's time to say good-bye the emotions are overwhelming. 





I had to learn at an early age to let go. My first pet Susie, a fabulous German shepherd, died when I was probably 4. I have pictures of us together and stories my mom told me, but no solid real memories. I know that we used to play "Ring Around the Rosie" together. Apparently, I would grab her tail and she would take my arm in her mouth and we would go around in circles as I sang. Then at the end we would both fall down. 


My Aunt Aileen and Uncle Ches
I had to let go again when I was 12. My wonderful, amazing uncle and godfather, Chesley Jamison, got cancer and died. It was the first funeral I attended where I really knew the person. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be my last. At 19 I lost my father to cancer. If you've read some of my other posts you know he was an alcoholic and there were issues in the family, but it doesn't matter. He was my dad and he was gone.


Me and my Dad
Less than 6 months later I had to let go of my sweet loving sheltie, Lady. I'd had her since the first grade and she was my comfort when dad died. I told her things I had never told anyone and she listened and kept all my secrets. After her, I lost both grandmothers. My Gramma Jamison was the hardest since I was so much closer to her. 

Gramma and me
I got a puppy, a beautiful black lab/Irish setter mix and named her Pagan. She was so smart and so much fun. But, as anyone who has fur-babies knows, they don't live long. So when she was 14 I had to let go again. After that I swore I'd never ever get another pet. It was too difficult this constant letting go. 

I lied. My friend Jennifer talked me into going with her to the humane society to look at cats. I had never owned a cat before . .. or perhaps a cat had never owned me before. But I went and that's where I fell in love with a beautiful calico girl I named Fiona. She sat on my lap all the time, kissed my tears away, and slept with me every night. Because I had her, I was open when we found a tiny kitten in a mall parking lot. He probably wasn't even 6 weeks old. I packed him up and brought him home and named him Max. A year later, I rescued another cat from the small town I taught in and named him Warlock. Somewhere in this craziness my cousin talked me into taking in a dog she'd rescued. Lucy was a golden retriever/rhodesian mix (can you say 100 pounds of fury??) But she really wasn't since the cats kind of raised her so she thought she was a cat. 

There I was with 4 fur-babies! My poor Mom finally begged me not to bring anyone else home. Max became her cat. He slept with her and sat on her lap all the time. Fiona was getting older and didn't want to be bothered much but she did deign to sit on our laps occasionally. Warlock, on the other hand, became my shadow. He followed me from room to room, sat with me constantly, waited by the door for me to come home, came to the bathroom with me, and slept with me. He was my Mister Boo, my Lockster Boy, my Mr. Fuzzypants. 


Sweet Fiona taking a snooze
When Fiona was about 16 or so, I once again had to let go. I knew she was ready. She was in pain and had stopped eating and drinking. It didn't make the goodbye any easier, but I understood it. Lucy, on the other hand, I didn't understand. She was 5 and ended up with an auto-immune disorder. I did everything I could. Took her to specialists, gave her a billion different kinds of medicine and still I had to let go. 

Barely a year after that in 2010, my Mom had a massive stroke. My sister and I were devastated. She was our rock, the one person who loved us unconditionally, our support. In less than a week, she was gone and I had to learn to let go again. The week she was in the hospital and the next week of her funeral was horrible. I came home every night and cried, but Warlock was right there with me. He laid on me, purred and it was such a comfort.


Me and Mom
Max is almost 12 and he'd been having health problems. He has thyroid issues, which caused him to lose a ton of weight. For a while, he stopped eating so I was force feeding him. Then, miraculously he began eating on his own. I knew, in my head and heart, he would probably be with me another year tops so I was preparing myself. Spending tons of time with him and babying him.


Max
Ah yes, but you know what they say about the best laid plans. Yeah, they're for shit. So this past weekend I noticed Warlock wasn't acting like himself. He just seemed off. He was still with me at night, but there was just something. He was quieter, not chasing the other cats. On Wednesday, I watched him walk in and out of the litterbox about 3 times but didn't hear anything going on. I felt on his belly and he cried. I thought he might not be able to pee. Max had that. So I instantly packed him up and took him to the vet. Dr. Wood felt on him and said his bladder was enlarged. They would cath him and bingo he'd be feeling better. I hated to leave him, but she promised me he'd be back to normal probably Friday. She was wrong.
She called me less than 40 minutes later to tell me it wasn't his bladder. There was some kind of mass in his stomach. My sister and I raced to get him and take him to the big specialist hospital where they could do an ultrasound. They found a tumor of some kind, but didn't know what it was. I okayed my baby for exploratory surgery the next day so we could figure this out. I got the call the next day that Warlock, my baby, had cancer all through his body. What?? How the fuck did this happen? He was fine and now he's not? The surgeon wanted to know what I wanted to do. Umm, make my baby better so I can bring him home. So he can lay on my chest so close to my face that I can feel his breath and get tickled by his whiskers. 

Warlock
That wasn't a real option. If I brought him home he might have had 2 weeks tops. Two weeks where it he wouldn't be able to pee because the tumor was compressing his kidney. Two weeks where there would probably be pain. For what? So I could be selfish and have him home with me. Can I tell you that I wanted to say yes to this. But I knew it wasn't fair. So they just didn't wake him up. He went peacefully in his sleep. And again I had to let go. But this was hard, the hardest since my Mom. I think it's because there was no time. I wasn't prepared. I mean, he's my healthy guy. He's not even 10 yet. He hasn't been sick. 


The pain is enormous. The sadness and loss is deep. And I'm sure there are those of you out there that say, "What the hell? He was a cat. Get over it." But guess what, not to me he wasn't. I don't have kids, I never wanted kids. My fur-babies are my kids. I love them and take care of them and they give so much back. To have to let Warlock go before I was prepared is staggering. 
Letting go sucks. I'm struggling with it even though he's gone. But since I wasn't with him it doesn't feel real. Sometimes, I imagine I'll call for him and he'll come running. Or I feel the bed move and think it's him. Now it's just me and Max. And I know soon I'll have to let go again. 

MY WRITING/BLOGGING SPACE VS. MY IDEAL WRITING/BLOGGING SPACE

Welcome Random Wednesday peeps! Before we leap into the subject of the week, let me share with you the awesome that is him. Aaaand you're welcome.




So, I wish I could tell you my writing space is equally as awesome, but then I would be a big old liar head and I would hate to be that. In fact, I don't have a dedicated space to write. I used to have an office, but that was when I was stuck with a desk top system and I haven't had one of those in a very long time. Now I just write wherever I feel like. Right now it's mostly in my bedroom, lounging on my bed.















If I'm not writing in my bedroom, then I'm out in the living room lounging in my favorite chair.



Are these my ideal space? Oh hell to the no, but right now they work and ultimately, that's all that matters. Right? Now if I could have my ultimate space first my view would be this all the time. 



I would be able to go sit out on my lovely back porch and it would have a comfortable lounge couch thingy.

Then if I got a little warm I could sit under even more shade and have a cool tropical fun drink.

Once I get bored at the beach (bwahahahahahaha) yeah I just said that. Anyway, if I ever did then I would come back home and sit on my porch in the woods overlooking water.

Can you tell water is a big thing? You'd think I was a water sign, but I'm not. I'm an air sign, but I love the water. As I've said before I don't want to be in it, but by it. I love sitting on the beach and listening to the waves crash onto the shore. Or standing by a stream and listening to it rush over rocks. There's just nothing more relaxing. 

So there you have it my writing spaces - real and imagined. Yeah the imagined are so much more awesome. Maybe one day. Until then I can use my imagination. 

Now run over to the other Blogger Girlz and see where they come up with all their amazing stories. Also, if you want, drop me a comment below and tell me about your favorite creative space, real or imagined it doesn't matter.

Bronwyn
Jessica
Kris
Jessica D.


See you all next week! --Gwen

Come Celebrate the Best Holiday You've Never Heard Of!!

So we're about a month after the much lauded winter holidays and it's a dead bore. It always is. January through the beginning of March totally sucks because it's cold, gray, long, and oh so boring. But my friends no more. Nay, nay, I say because you will now be introduced to the most wonderful holiday ever. 


Welcome to Mid-Winter!!!
It's wonderful, magical and is celebrated on either the 1st or 2nd Saturday of February . . . pretty much when you want. Why does the holiday float about, you ask? Yeah, because my sister and I made it up! That's right, it's totally made up so you can do whatever you want for it.
Let me back up and explain. Our Mom died in the summer of 2010 and gads did it suck majorly big donkey balls. Jude and I got through Halloween, Thanksgiving and finally Yule/Christmas with the help of our two best friends. But once all that was over we were left with nothing to look forward to. So out of nowhere we decided to make up our own holiday. We set it at the beginning of February since that makes it about midway between winter holidays and spring holidays and also half way through winter. 


The first year Jude and I got each other small presents, made some food, made fun drinks and watched TV. Nothing big deal. But as the years have gone by, it's gotten a tad more elaborate. I have decorations for Mid-Winter now. The mantle is decorated with the fake snow, a garland that looks like an icy branch and ornaments in icy blue and silver. 


Our gift dollar amount is up to about 60.00 this year and we've already started planning our menu (both drink and food). Our best friends are even celebrating the holiday in Memphis. 


So I invite you all to take up this wonderful holiday where nothing is really expected of you, but eating your favorite food and drinking your favorite beverage. If you want to buy a gift for yourself or someone else go for it. If you want to decorate, you can do that too. Since we made it up there's really no rules other that you just enjoy it and be glad that there's something to celebrate.
Happy Mid-Winter Everyone!! --Gwen

Come Celebrate the Best Holiday You Never Heard Of!!

So we're about a month after the much lauded winter holidays and it's a dead bore. It always is. January through the beginning of March totally sucks because it's cold, gray, long, and oh so boring. But my friends no more. Nay, nay, I say because you will now be introduced to the most wonderful holiday ever. 


Welcome to Mid-Winter!!!
It's wonderful, magical and is celebrated on either the 1st or 2nd Saturday of February . . . pretty much when you want. Why does the holiday float about, you ask? Yeah, because my sister and I made it up! That's right, it's totally made up so you can do whatever you want for it.
Let me back up and explain. Our Mom died in the summer of 2010 and gads did it suck majorly big donkey balls. Jude and I got through Halloween, Thanksgiving and finally Yule/Christmas with the help of our two best friends. But once all that was over we were left with nothing to look forward to. So out of nowhere we decided to make up our own holiday. We set it at the beginning of February since that makes it about midway between winter holidays and spring holidays and also half way through winter. 


The first year Jude and I got each other small presents, made some food, made fun drinks and watched TV. Nothing big deal. But as the years have gone by, it's gotten a tad more elaborate. I have decorations for Mid-Winter now. The mantle is decorated with the fake snow, a garland that looks like an icy branch and ornaments in icy blue and silver. 


Our gift dollar amount is up to about 60.00 this year and we've already started planning our menu (both drink and food). Our best friends are even celebrating the holiday in Memphis. 


So I invite you all to take up this wonderful holiday where nothing is really expected of you, but eating your favorite food and drinking your favorite beverage. If you want to buy a gift for yourself or someone else go for it. If you want to decorate, you can do that too. Since we made it up there's really no rules other that you just enjoy it and be glad that there's something to celebrate.
Happy Mid-Winter Everyone!! --Gwen

RANDOM WEDNESDAY: ON MY WALLS

Hello! Apparently, this Random Wednesday post is supposed to be all about the pics and no words. Bwahahahaha! When has anyone ever known that to happen with me? Yeah, never. So the pics are a collection of things on the walls across the house. The paint swatches were tester deals to decide what colors we are going to paint. Thankfully, we've picked the colors, but no painting has been accomplished. Hey, I'm a procrastinator. Oh, before I start you need Wednesday hotness. The pic below is one of a few that gave me the idea for the kilts the Sandaki wear (if you've read Mated you know who they are). 




























And there you go, that's the fairly boring stuff on my walls. Now run over and check out what the other Blogger Girlz are hanging up. Oh and if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for me please leave them in the section below. 

Bronwyn
Jessica
Kris
Kellie
Kayleigh

See y'all next week! --Gwen

JANUARY SONG PROMPT

So every month we're going to be writing short pieces that go along with songs. This month the song is "I'm a Mess" by Ed Sheeran. If you don't know the song you can check it out HERE. So here's my piece. It's really short and has no title, but I hope you like it.



    He couldn’t believe it was over. He slumped low in a chair and stared with unseeing eyes at the ceiling. He knew there would be pain. How could there not? Right now, though, was just an unremitting numbness. How often had the two of them bemoaned the breakups of friends of family members? How often had they shook their heads and discussed the reasons why one partner had cheated on another? Both of them had agreed it was ridiculous to cheat. If the relationship was that broke then it should be ended. At least you should have that much respect for your partner if not yourself to end it before starting a relationship with someone else. They had both agreed if they’d ever come to that they would be totally honest with each other.
   Honest. What a joke. Obviously, she hadn’t been honest in some time. Six months. She’d been seeing some other man for six months. Some other man? It was easier to think of him that way. If he thought of him as “my brother” then the pain might burst through and he couldn’t handle that right now. Bad enough that his marriage was over, but to discover that his own brother had betrayed him he almost couldn’t process the knowledge. The brother that he’d helped repeatedly. Money. A car.

   Fuck, he was a fool. He’d been played for a fool. He closed his eyes as tears slid down his cheeks. Okay, okay, he’d allow himself to grieve tonight, but tomorrow was going to be different. Never again would anyone take advantage of him. Ever again.


That's my piece. If you comments or suggestions I'd love to hear them. Just jot them down in the comments section below. Now run over and check out what the other fabu authors have written. 
Bronwyn Green Jenny TroutJessica De La RosaJessica JarmanKris Norris

I'll see you all on Wednesday for all that is Random! --Gwen

NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE MENAGE ROMANCE!!!

If you love menage romance now is your chance to nominate your favorite books. Go here and do it today!! Hey and if you want to nominate MATED I won't argue with you. Really . . . :-)