Cora Buhlert's Blog, page 22

Non-Fiction Spotlight: Management Lessons from Game of Thrones: Organization Theory and Strategy in Westeros by Fiona Moore

First of all, I was at the Hugos There podcast again as part of a great panel discussing the 2022 Hugo finalists for Best Novella. You can listen here or watch us blabber on YouTube here.

After the Hugos is before the next Hugos, so I’m continuing my Non-Fiction Spotlight project, where I interview the authors/editors of SFF-related non-fiction books that come out in 2022 and are eligible for the 2023 Hugo Awards. For more about the Non-Fiction Spotlight project, go here. To check out the spotlights I already posted, go here.

For more recommendations for SFF-related non-fiction, also check out this Facebook group set up by the always excellent Farah Mendlesohn, who is a champion (and author) of SFF-related non-fiction.

Business books are not exactly what you’d expect to find in a series of spotlights about SFF-related non-fiction. However, a business book is absolutely appropriate for this series, when it shares management and business lessons from Game of Thrones.

Therefore, I am happy to welcome Dr. Fiona Moore, author of Management Lessons from Game of Thrones: Organization Theory and Strategy in Westeros to my blog today:

Tell us about your book.

Management Lessons from Game of Thrones takes a look at management theory through a Westerosi lens. I use characters, organisations, and events from the television series (primarily, though there’s some references to A Song of Ice and Fire in there as well) to explain the background and concepts of organisation theory, human resource management, strategy, and mergers and acquisitions (or, in the Westerosi context, weddings and warfare). I also look at how and why Game of Thrones is such a useful tool for management education, and suggest ways in which the reader can develop their own understanding of organisations through the use of SFF stories.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I’m an anthropologist who wandered into a business school twenty years ago and stayed because they keep feeding her! Seriously, I did my doctorate in anthropology, but, because my area of interest centred around multinational corporations, I found it easier to get a job in a management studies department. However, while I was doing my doctorate I also started co-writing guidebooks to cult and/or SF television, which has led to a parallel career writing academic works on SF, and the two streams have finally intersected.

I also write fiction; most of my published work is about intelligent machines and people learning to live with them, though I also write Lynchian horror and a series I generally describe as “Gerry Anderson, but with lesbians.”

And I have a tortoiseshell cat who is mostly bent on world domination, though at thirteen she’s mellowed a tiny bit.

What prompted you to write/edit this book?

It was very much an unexpected journey. I’m a Game of Thrones fan, and I teach, among other things, leadership theory to masters’ students—many of whom are also Game of Thrones fans. In order to make it more interesting for them, I began using examples from Game of Thrones.

Word got around the business school and before long I was giving a cut-down version as a “taster lecture” to prospective students.

Then, encouraged by various friends in fandom, I wrote it up as a blog post series, and gave a talk at Eastercon. But people kept asking, ‘when are you going to write a textbook?” And, when academic publishers Edward Elgar approached me asking if I had any ideas for new books, I pitched this one to them and they were delighted.

Why should SFF fans in general and Hugo voters in particular read this book?

In the first place, I think SFF fans in general should read it because, at the risk of sounding arrogant, it should teach you something, and in what is hopefully a fun and interesting way. That was my original aim when I started out, and I still think it’s easier to learn about, for instance, the role of the personnel function in organisations when you’re thinking about it in terms of how the Night’s Watch works, or mergers and acquisitions through the history of Winterfell. Even if you’ve got a background in management studies, this approach should give you some insights you might not have had otherwise.

More seriously, and for the Hugo voters, this approach also does the reverse, and gives us insights into Game of Thrones. The reason Game of Thrones works so well as a management teaching tool is because it was written in a context of late American capitalism, based loosely on historical societies at a time and place when businesses as we know them were starting to evolve. This book allows us to see how Game of Thrones holds a mirror up to our world, and, through allegory and fiction, tackles problems that ordinary managers face.

Do you have any cool facts or tidbits that you unearthed during your research, but that did not make it into the final book?

There was one insight into Ironborn society that I had when I was exploring the complicated issue of gender and leadership on Westeros. There are a number of societies, for instance the Inuit, which have very strict gender roles, and which handle a situation where a family has too many people of one gender and not enough of the other by re-gendering some of the kids. Or adults. In Albania, for instance, where a lot of men die in blood feuds, some of the women become what they call “sworn virgins”, who are socially male. Though in most cases that re-gendering only goes so far: ”sworn virgins” can’t marry, for instance.

And although nobody’s ever said so, that would explain Yara Greyjoy perfectly. One son is dead, the other traded off to the Starks as a hostage and considered no longer an Ironborn: so you raise the daughter in a male role. And then hit the inevitable problem when you run up against the limit of the re-gendering, and she can’t in fact inherit her father’s title.

That’s the sort of thing that anthropologists love to think about, but it was a bit harder to work into a management text!

SFF-related non-fiction is somewhat sidelined by the big genre awards, since the Nebulas have no non-fiction category and the Best Related Work Hugo category has become something of a grab bag of anything that doesn’t fit elsewhere. So why do you think SFF-related non-fiction is important?

SFF-related non-fiction is important because that’s where our insights come from. I like to read Vector and Foundation, two SFF non-fiction journals here in the UK, because I always come away seeing a familiar work in a new light, or understanding it in a way I didn’t before. If people didn’t take a step back from the genre and think about what makes it work, we wouldn’t understand it as well as we do.

Are there any other great SFF-related non-fiction works or indeed anything else (books, stories, essays, writers, magazines, films, TV shows, etc…) you’d like to recommend?

For a start, Vector and Foundation, as I mentioned above. Obverse Books do a great line in short monographs about Doctor Who and other cult television series (full disclosure, I’ve written one of them). Academics I follow include Tony Keen, who writes on popular works on classics; Dassi Elber-Aviram, who has a new book out called Fairy Tales of London, Farah Mendlesohn and Edward James; Andrew Butler, whose book on 1970s SF I find a useful reference; Amy Binns, who has written a great book on John Wyndham; and Ali Baker, who does a podcast called Fantasy Book Swap. Outside of academia but still in nonfiction, I can also recommend my frequent co-author Alan Stevens; Rob Fairclough; Andrew Pixley; and the Doctor Who focused zine Vworp! Vworp! I’m also addicted to the Octothorpe podcast, but that’s by the way.

Where can people buy your book?

You can buy direct from the publisher here , and I believe they have international shopping. Otherwise, easiest way internationally is probably Amazon. You can find it on Amazon UK at and Amazon US. If you want to order from an independent bookshop, and I would encourage you to, the ISBN is 978 1 83910 528 9.

Where can people find you?

I’m @drfionamoore on all social media, my professional website is www.fiona-moore.com, and my blog is www.adoctorofmanythings.com. There’s an essay series on my blog called Leadership Lessons from Game of Thrones (linked to on its sidebar) which is a bit of a taster for the book if you’re hesitating about buying it!

Thank you, Fiona, for stopping by and answering my questions.

Do check out Management Lessons from Game of Thrones: Organization Theory and Strategy in Westeros, which came out today.

About Management Lessons from Game of Thrones: Organization Theory and Strategy in Westeros:

This intriguing and absorbing book takes a look at aspects of Westerosi society and politics from an anthropological and organizational studies angle. It shows both how management theory influenced the world-building in the Game of Thrones franchise, and also how students, academics and managers can draw on the series to further enhance their understanding of concepts in human resource management and organization theory.

Based on a detailed knowledge of Game of Thrones but grounded in serious management research, Fiona Moore provides a tour of the organizations, leaders and followers in Westeros, giving insights into the fantasy kingdom as well as important lessons managers can use in their own careers. Providing a brief and enjoyable introduction to management and organization theory, the book then discusses how and why modern management concepts can be seen in Game of Thrones, exploring concepts such as leadership, strategy and human resource management through a unique lens.

Unconventional in its approach, this book will prove a key resource for students and scholars in areas such as business leadership, human resource management and organization studies looking for new and entertaining ways of understanding the theory behind management.

About Fiona Moore:

Fiona Moore is a two-time BSFA Award finalist, writer and academic whose work has appeared in Clarkesworld, Asimov, Cossmass Infinities, and three consecutive editions of The Best of British SF. Her publications include one novel; numerous articles in journals such as Foundation; guidebooks to Blake’s Seven, The Prisoner, Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who; three stage plays and four audio plays. When not writing, she is a Professor of Business Anthropology at Royal Holloway, University of London. She lives in Southwest England with a tortoiseshell cat which is bent on world domination. More details, and free content, can be found at www.fiona-moore.com.

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Are you publishing a work of SFF-related longform non-fiction in 2022 and want it featured? Contact me or leave a comment.

Toy Photo Story: “The Frost-Giant’s Daughter” – and some mixed links

I have another toy photo story coming up. Not a Masters-of-the-Universe-piece Theatre story this time, because it involves vinyl figurines (of which I have a huge collection going back more than forty years) rather than Masters of the Universe toys.

However, first I also have a couple of links to other places on the web where you can find me and my work.

First of all, I have another flash story available at Wyngraf Magazine of Cozy Fantasy. It’s called “Demon Child” and its basically a changeling story in reverse.

Earlier this week, I was over at Galactic Journey, where I review two SFF novels of 1967: the sword and planet novel Flame of Iridar by Lin Carter, which was actually decent, a throwback to the sort of fiction published in Planet Stories or Startling Stories in the 1940s, and Chthon by Piers Anthony, which I first read at the age of sixteen and disliked so much that it turned me off the entire New Wave for years. I explicitly offered to review Chthon for the Journey, because I still have my old copy (given the price of import paperbacks in the 1980s, you did not throw even a bad book away) and because I wanted to give it another chance to see if I was maybe too young to enjoy it. However, it turns out that I actually liked Chthon even less the second time around. Gideon Marcus, who found a copy and decided to read it, also hated it, by the way. Based on my observations, Chthon is also the first SFF novel of the 1960s with truly creepy sex scenes and a lot of them. Even the first Gor book was more dull than anything else with comparatively little of what made the series infamous later on.

Finally, I’ve also been on the Hugos There! podcast, discussing the 2022 Hugo finalists for Best Short Story (video here) and Best Novelette (video here) with a bunch of cool people.

And now, let’s get to the main event, a toy photo story adaptation of “The Frost-Giant’s Daughter” by Robert E. Howard. For those who don’t know, “The Frost-Giant’s Daughter” is the second story about Conan of Cimmeria that Robert E. Howard ever wrote, ninety years ago now. It was rejected by Weird Tales and only published in altered form (with Conan renamed Amra) in the fanzine The Fantasy Fan during Howard’s lifetime. The original version did not appear until way after Howard’s death. You can read the Amra version here.

“The Frost-Giant’s Daughter” is set early during Conan’s career. Many believe it is the earliest of Conan’s chronicles adventures. I’m not entirely convinced by this, but Conan is definitely young in this story.

My adaptation differs from the original story in two aspects. For starters, I made it less rapey. Secondly, instead of the male pseudo-Viking companions from the original story, the companion I gave Conan is Valeria of the Red Brotherhood, pirate, mercenary, swordswoman and all around awesome character, whom Conan meets in the later story “Red Nails”.

So I present you: “The Frost-Giant’s Daughter” by Robert E. Howard, starring Conan of Cimmeria and Valeria of the Red Brotherhood:

Far up in the frozen wastes of Nordheim:

“I hunger, Atali, my daughter. Bring me food.”

“There has been a battle nearby. I shall find a strong warrior for you there.”

A little later on a nearby battlefield:

“By Crom, it’s a girl. Here, on the battlefield. I wonder if she’s cold in those gossamer robes.”

“Hello there, warrior. I am Atali and I am looking for a strong man just like you. Follow me.”

“Of course, I’d follow you anywhere.”

“Uhm, Conan, I don’t think that this is a good idea.”

“Come on, big bad Barbarian. Catch me, if you can.”

“I shall catch you and then I will show you how a Cimmerian makes love.”

“Conan, wait! Oh great, why must that idiot always think with the dangly end?”

“By Crom, you’ve led me on a merry chase, girl.”

“Come on, big bad Barbarian, meet my father Ymir and my brothers.”

“Just to make things clear, I am not the sort of man you take home to meet your family, girl. Conan is not a man to marry.”

“Who said anything about marriage?”

“Meet my father!”

“Roar, I am hungry. He looks strong… and tasty. You have done well, daughter.”

“Crom, this did not go as planned.”

“Crom, he is big. And a lot faster than he looks.”

“Let go off Conan, monster!”

“Valeria, what are you doing here?”

“What’s it look like? I’m saving your arse. Again.”

“Father, no!”

“Not so fast, witch. You’re involved in this, too, aren’t you?”

“My father! You slew my father, Barbarian swine.”

“Uhm, your father was trying to eat me. What did you expect me to do?”

“Father, no. What will I do now that you’re gone?”

“Thanks for the help, Valeria. What would I do without you?”

“Get eaten by whatever monster uses a comely witch to lure you into its lair, I guess. Anyway, next time use your brain before you run after strange women.”

The End.

***

Ymir, the Frost Giant is a Schleich Eldrador ice monster. Valeria is a Schleich Amazon warrior and Atali is a Schleich princess. Conan is a Comics Spain figurine. The frozen wastes of Nordheim are portrayed by glass paperweights and nice white pebbles.

I love the various Schleich dinosaurs and monsters. Not only are they awesome, the larger ones also match the Masters of the Universe Origins figures in scale and look a lot like the weird and wonderful fauna of Eternia seen in the 1980s Filmation cartoons. And because I got a good deal on them online, I ordered two monsters, a rock monster and an ice monster:

They’re both awesome and the rock monster looks just like the rock people that occasionally show up in the vintage Masters of the Universe cartoon. The ice monster also looks like something out of the vintage Masters of the Universe cartoon, but it’s a bit too small for the Origins figures. However, it’s a perfect fit for my Conan figurine, so the idea to do an adaptation of “The Frost-Giant’s Daughter” was born.

Bonus: He-Man and Teela fight the rock monster.

“When you said, ‘Let’s patrol the outer perimeter for some alone time’, I certainly did not expect to be interrupted by rock monsters.”

“Rabar want sword. Rabar want to be warrior.”

“Hey, ugly, interrupting people, when they just want some privacy is rude. And now leave my boyfriend alone.”

***

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.

 

Non-Fiction Spotlight: More Modern Mythmakers: 25 Interviews with Horror and Science Fiction Writers and Filmmakers by Michael McCarty

After the Hugos is before the next Hugos, so I’m continuing my Non-Fiction Spotlight project, where I interview the authors/editors of SFF-related non-fiction books that come out in 2022 and are eligible for the 2023 Hugo Awards. For more about the Non-Fiction Spotlight project, go here. To check out the spotlights I already posted, go here.

For more recommendations for SFF-related non-fiction, also check out this Facebook group set up by the always excellent Farah Mendlesohn, who is a champion (and author) of SFF-related non-fiction.

Interview collections have long been a part of SFF-related non-fiction, therefore I’m thrilled to welcome Michael McCarty, author of More Modern Mythmakers: 25 Interviews with Horror and Science Fiction Writers and Filmmakers to my blog today:

Tell us about your book.

MICHAEL McCARTY:  More Modern Mythmakers features Horror, Science Fiction and Dark Fantasy’s most influential writers and filmmakers interviewed about the art and craft of their genres.

The 25 interviews include Steve Alten, Reggie Bannister, Terry Brooks, Charles de Lint, Dennis Etchison, John Everson, Alan Dean Foster, Ray Garton, Sephera Giron, Owl Goingback, Charles Grant, Nancy Holder, Paul Kane, Ronald Kelly, Joe Lansdale, Bentley Little, Jeff Long, Jonathan Maberry, Elizabeth Massie, Larry Niven, William Stout, Jeff Strand, Harry Turtledove, J.N. Williamson, Connie Willis. The foreword is by Gerard Houarner and the afterword by Jeffrey Thomas

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

McCARTY: I’m from the Quad Cities (Iowa/Illinois along the Mississippi River). I am a 5-Time Bram Stoker Finalist and author of over 50 books. I did win the David R. Collins’ Literary Achievement Award from the Midwest Writing Center. I am married to a lovely lady named Cindy and we have a pet rabbit named Yeti.

I was a freelance writer for about twenty years working for such magazines as “Starlog,” “Fangoria,” “Cemetery Dance,” “Filmfax,”and eventually became a staff writer for “Science Fiction Weekly,” the website of the Sci-Fi network, which eventually became the Sy-Fy network.

What prompted you to write/edit this book?

McCARTY: I do apologize in advance because this is a long answer.

My first pro sale was in 1983 for a regional music magazine. My first national sale was in 1993 to Starlog. And my first book was in 2003.

In 2015 , Crystal Lake Publishing, published Modern Mythmakers, a collection of 35 interviews with the likes of Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, John Carpenter, John Saul, Dean Koontz, Elvira, Whitley Streiter, Forry Ackerman, Timothy Zahn and more. It was ten years of my life boiled down to 90,000 words.

At this point, doing hundreds of interviews for over four decades, I decided to retire from interviews.

I hadn’t done a nonfiction book for a while, but when I hit Haunted America up with the idea of doing a true ghost book called Ghosts of the Quad Cities they eagerly agreed. For that book, I had to do several interviews with paranormal investigators, librarians, and local historians.

Of course, I did a sequel called Eerie Quad Cities in 2021.

I got bitten again by the interview bug. And although it was about five years after the original Modern Mythmakers: 35 Interviews with Horror and Science Fiction Writers and Filmmakers it contained to sell well over the years.

I decided to leave retirement for doing interview behind and hit Joe Mynhardt (the editor and publisher) about doing a sequel and he said yes.

Why should SFF fans in general and Hugo voters in particular read this book?

McCARTY:  I have some great interviews with some great science fiction and fantasy writers such as Alan Dean Foster, Harry Turtledove, Terry Brooks and Charles de Lint and Connie Willis. Plus, a slew of horror and dark fantasy writers and filmmakers as well.

The book is bursting at the seams with great interviews. You’ll walk away knowing more about the interviewees but also about the horror and science fiction publishing and film industry the art and craft of writing books and doing movies.

I hope the reader comes away more knowledgeable and inspired and will write a terrific work after they finish the book. No thanks needed.

Do you have any cool facts or tidbits that you unearthed during your research, but that did not make it into the final book?

That would take a book length to answer to be honest. Each interview really was like travelling a dark and mysterious river and by the end, I seen the light and discovery and joy and knowledge.

I’ve read tons of interviews by my interviewees in the book, for example Ray Garton, Jonathan Maberry, Alan Dean Foster and Connie Willis – and they were even a bit surprised at the questions, and I was equally surprised with the answers/

SFF-related non-fiction is somewhat sidelined by the big genre awards, since the Nebulas have no non-fiction category, and the Best Related Work Hugo category has become something of a grab bag of anything that doesn’t fit elsewhere. So why do you think SFF-related non-fiction is important?

Winning awards are nice. Super nice, the icing on any cake. But I don’t write books to win awards, I write books to educate, entertain and for the reader to be hopefully inspired to also write a terrific book or screenplay as well.

Are there any other great SFF-related non-fiction works or indeed anything else (books, stories, essays, writers, magazines, films, TV shows, etc.…) you’d like to recommend?

 The Writing Life by Jeff Strand, How to Write Horror Fiction by William F. Nolan, Let’s Get Creative  also by William F. Nolan, Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing by David Morrell, How to Write Horror, Fantasy & Science Fiction edited by J.N. Williams and Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury. Every writer listed here has been interviewed by me one time or another, these books are close to my heart.

Also of course, Stephen King’s On Writing.

I’d also highly recommend the book On Writing Horror edited by Mort Castle for the Horror Writers Association. This book is terrific, it is eight sections and has essays about writing from Harlan Ellison, David Morrrell, Jack Ketchum and Ramsey Campbell (who, also, at one time or another I interviewed too).

The thing about On Writing Horror, I am most proud of is this, like I said, the book is in eight sections. Section One is “Horror, Literature and Horror Literature,” and consist of two essays and a speech by Joyce Carol Oates, Stephen King and Michael McCarty (yup… that’s me).

Where can people buy your book?

Amazon, Barnes & Noble if your favorite bookstore isn’t carrying it, they could order it.

Where can people find you?

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/MichaelMcCarty.Horror and https://www.facebook.com/QCGhosts

Twitter:  MichaelMcCarty7

And I have a monthly blog at: https://monstermikeyaauthor.wordpress.com/

Thank you, Michael, for stopping by and answering my questions.

About More Modern Mythmakers: 25 Interviews with Horror and Science Fiction Writers and Filmmakers:

More Modern Mythmakers features Horror, Science Fiction and Dark Fantasy’s most influential writers and filmmakers interviewed about the art and craft of their genres.

The 25 interviews include:
Steve Alten
Reggie Bannister
Terry Brooks
Charles de Lint
Dennis Etchison
John Everson
Alan Dean Foster
Ray Garton
Sephera Giron
Owl Goingback
Charles Grant
Nancy Holder
Paul Kane
Ronald Kelly
Joe Lansdale
Bentley Little
Jeff Long
Jonathan Maberry
Elizabeth Massie
Larry Niven
William Stout
Jeff Strand
Harry Turtledove
J.N. Williamson
Connie Willis

Foreword by Gerard Houarner
Afterword by Jeffrey Thomas

If you’re interested in books on writing, the horror genre, science fiction, famous authors, or even becoming a full time author, this book is a must-have.

More Modern Mythmakers is the sequel to 2015’s Modern Mythmakers by Michael McCarty, published by Crystal Lake Publishing.

Proudly represented by Crystal Lake Publishing—Tales from the Darkest Depths.

About Michael McCarty:

Michael McCarty has been a professional writer since 1983, and the author of over fifty books of fiction, including I Kissed A Ghoul, Frankenstein’s Mistress, Dark Cities: Dark Tales, A Little Help From My Fiends, Liquid Diet & Midnight Snack, Dark Duets, Dracula Transformed and Other Bloodthirsty Tales (with Mark McLaughlin), Lost Girl Of The Lake (with Joe McKinney), the vampire Bloodless series: Bloodless, Bloodlust and Bloodline (with Jody LaGreca). He is a five-time Bram Stoker Finalist, and in 2008 won the David R. Collins’ Literary Achievement Award from the Midwest Writing Center.

His nonfiction books include: Esoteria-Land: The Authentic, Eclectic and Eccentric Nonfiction of Michael McCarty, Ghosts of the Quad Cities (with Mark McLaughlin), Eerie Quad Cities (with John Brassard Jr.), and Modern Mythmakers: 35 Interviews With Horror and Science Fiction Writers and Filmmakers which features interviews with Ray Bradbury, Dean Koontz, John Carpenter, Richard Matheson, Elvira, Linnea Quigley, John Saul, Joe McKinney, and many more.

Michael McCarty lives in Rock Island, Illinois with his wife Cindy and pet rabbit Yeti.

***

Are you publishing a work of SFF-related longform non-fiction in 2022 and want it featured? Contact me or leave a comment.

The 2022 July Short Story Challenge – Day by Day

For starters, Smashwords is currently having its annual summer sale, where you can get plenty of e-books at reduced prices or for free, including several of mine.

In other news, blogging will be light this month, because I’m currently doing the July Short Story Challenge again.

What is the July Short Story Challenge, you ask? Well, in July 2015, Dean Wesley Smith announced that he was planning to write a brand new short story every day during the month of July. The original post seems to be gone now, but the Wayback Machine has a copy here. At the time, several people announced that they would play along, so I decided to give it a try as well. And then I did it again the following year. And the next. And the next. If you want to read my post-mortems of the previous July short story challenges, here are the posts for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and 2021.

Because I’ve already done the July short story challenge seven years in a row now and always found the experience very rewarding, I’m aiming for a repeat this year. This July is a very busy month for me, never mind that I caught a persistent and annoying cold (not covid, I did a test). Therefore I initially only committed to doing this for a single week, which is already finished, and now I’m going for the second week. Then, if things are going well, I’ll keep going.

In previous years, I’ve always done a post-mortem post about the July Short Story Challenge in August. In 2019, I also started keeping a running tally of all stories written to date right here on this blog to hold myself accountable. It worked well and so I did it again in 2020 and 2021. I will do it again this year as well and will update this post with every new story. This tally will be very basic, listing just the date, title, word count, genre, series, if any, and maybe a one or two sentence summary/comment.

Most of these stories will become longer in editing. Many will eventually change their titles and some may never see the light of day at all.

If you want to follow along with the challenge, bookmark this post. And if you want to play along or cheer me on, feel free to do so in the comments.

And now, let’s take a look at the stories:

July 1, 2022: The Offering, fantasy, 2344 words

Every twenty years, the people of the fishing village of Thesipha at the edge of the Bay of Ambirosi, make an offering to Sabeana, goddess of the sea and patron of fishermen, hoping for rich fishing in the bay.

The young fisherman Pelinas is chosen to present the offering to the goddess. But as he waits at the edge of the pier for the goddess to claim her offering, he realises that the offering is not what he thought it was…

Like many of the stories from this challenge, this story was inspired by a piece of fantasy art, namely this one by Richard Hescox.

July 2, 2022: Sanctuary, historical fantasy, 2435 words

Deep in the woods that surround the town of Immergrün in Medieval Germany, there is a place called Sanctuary, where the women in trouble can escape from the men who pursue them.

One of those women is Katharina who finds herself pregnant by a man who wants nothing to do with her and accuses her of being a witch and bearing the devil’s child. But before Katharina can be burned at the stake, an unexpected ally frees her…

This story was partly inspired by this piece of fantasy art by Nele Diel and by discussing the 2022 Hugo Finalists for Best Short Story on the Hugos There! podcast, since two of the stories in question feature dryads, so they were on my mind.

July 3, 2022: Silverthorn, fantasy, 1467 words

Silverthorn is a magical sword. Her last wielder, the knight Vultorf, retired into the woods to become a hermit. After he died, Silverthorn is looking for a new wielder. But she had high standards and won’t just let anyone wield her. No, she will only pledge herself to a worthy cause.

Finally, after two hundred years of waiting, a worthy wielder finally stumbles upon Silverthorn, though he is not at all what she expected.

This story was inspired by this piece of fantasy art by Nele Diel, which sparked the idea to write a story about a magical sword from the point of view of the sword.

July 4, 2022: Buttercup, crime fiction (The Culinary Assassin), 2116 words

The world’s only gourmet hitperson shoots a con woman in a hipster cupcake shop.

Yes, it’s another Culinary Assassin story. Somehow, I find these easy to write, when I’m stressed out, because it’s basically “Pick a locations, a dish and a target and start writing”.

I wrote a Culinary Assassin story during last year’s challenge, which basically retells the famous final scene of The Sopranos from the POV of the assassin. Now the Culinary Assassin takes aim at another HBO prestige show (TM), Sex and the City, and shoots a Carrie Bradshaw stand-in at the Buttercup Bakery, which is a stand-in for the Magnolia Bakery from the show. The brief scene at the Magnolia Bakery, which brought tourist crowds to what had been a quiet neighbourhood, also set off the gentrification of the area and pretty much destroyed it as chronicled here.

July 5, 2022: Rum Ball, crime fiction (The Culinary Assassin), 1684 words

The world’s only gourmet hitperson heads to rural Northern Germany to eat rum balls in the best bakery in the region and takes out a pedophile priest as well.

I had a busy day today and did not feel all that great, so here’s another Culinary Assassin tale.

Since yesterday’s story was about a hit in a trendy hipster cupcake shop, today I sent the culinary assassin to one of my favourite bakeries, which is the complete opposite of hip. And yes, the bakery is a real place and occasionally shows up in my fiction, e.g. tuckerised as the name of a planet in the In Love and War series.  The rum balls are real, too, though both the assassin and their target are fictional.

July 6, 2022: The Message of the Runes, horror, 1504 words

A student of archaeology falls into a hole and stumbles upon a rune stone in what appears to be an ancient burial chamber and decides to decipher it. This turns out to be a very bad idea…

The inspiration for this story was this piece of fantasy artwork by Nele Diel. For the setting, I chose the famous neolithic tomb known as “The Visbek Bride”, which is a popular tourist site around here. Plus, the setting and particularly the proximity to the Autobahn A1 also gave me a brilliant way to dispose of the monster my idiotic archaeology student has accidentally unleashed. Let’s just say say in a contest between an ancient monster from the dawn of time and a Dutch truck carrying cucumbers, the truck wins.

July 7, 2022: Adventurer’s Rest, cozy fantasy, 1336 words

After a lifetime of adventuring, Dankar has grown old and opened an inn called Adventurer’s Rest, together with his found family: his daughter Talia, deposed prince Cadwyn, Ghuk the golem and Ughiwyn the wizard.

This is a cozy slice of life piece about an aged adventurer who has found a place to rest for himself and the people he loves. The inspiration was a simple “What if an aging warrior opened a roadside inn for others like him.

July 8, 2022: Just Another Snake Cult, sword and sorcery, 1429 words

Killing their king Enzummu was supposed to end the reign of terror of the serpent men, but instead it set off a new problem, when every single surviving serpent coucillor, general, dignity or priest set up their own cult, until there was a snake cult on every street corner.

The unnamed protagonist is a Warrior of the Light sworn to wipe out the serpent men and smite their snake cults with extreme prejudice. But this mission is his most difficult yet, for he must stop Zuanzi, former right-hand man of Enzummu, from opening a portal on the night of the blood moon to raise the Great Snake God Nergai, who will devour the entire world…

The inspiration for this one comes from a discussion about the 1982 movie Conan the Barbarian. In the movie, a character says that until recently, Thulsa Doom’s sect was “just another snake cults”, which begets the question of exactly how many snake cults are there in the Hyborian Age. I then had the idea of a holy warrior sworn to take down snake cults and being frustrated that snake cults are like the Hydra, take out one and two more pop up in its wake.

July 9, 2022: Wrong Turn, fantasy/fairy tale, 1903 words

On her way to grandma’s house, Little Red Riding Hood – who’s not so little and only known as Red in this story – takes a wrong turn and stumbles upon a group of witches frolicking naked in the woods.  This leads to a much happier ending for Red, though poor grandma still gets eaten.

The initial inspiration for this story was this piece of fantasy art by Ilya Gorbunov. Also, this is the second story about lesbian wood nymphs I have written during this challenge. I’m beginning to sense a theme here.

July 10, 2022: The Horror in the Cathedral, dark fantasy, 1108 words

The cathedral Notre Dame de Desmarais has been infested by an ancient evil, a demon who is rising the dead buried inside the cathedral to attack the living. So far, the ghoulds have already lsain two priests, a Dominican friar, two exorcists and the most feared witchhunter in all of France. So the bishop seeks a knight who will venture into the cathedral and deal with the ghoul problem. But only the female knight Ghislaine la Véridique is willing to go…

This story was inspired by this piece of fantasy art by Adam Barker. I’m not happy with the title, since it’s too generic and will probably change it.

July 11, 2022: Pasta all’Ortolana, crime fiction (The Culinary Assassin), 968 words

The world’s only gourmet hitperson goes to a restaurant in the non-touristy part of Rome, eats pasta and shoots a local mafioso.

I was busy and tired today, so all I could manage was a very short Culinary Assassin story. The inspiration was the fact that I actually made this dish two days ago, based on Rachel Roddy’s recipe from the Guardian.

Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre: “Consent Is Sexy, Harassment Stinks”

The promised epic She-Ra Master-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo story is coming, but in the meantime, here is another action figure photo story, inspired by the latest addition to my collection. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.

The small toy aisle at the German drugstore chain Rossmann has turned out to be an unlikely source of Masters of the Universe toys, because they tend to have even hard-to-find figures like Clawful or the Horde Trooper at regular prices. I didn’t find a Clawful during my last visit to the local Rossmann store, but I did get lucky and snapped up none other than Stinkor, Masters of the Universe‘s very own walking fart joke.

Stinkor is ready to envelop Eternia in his irresistible stench.

I never really had much of a connnection to Stinkor, probably because he did not appear in the He-Man and She-Ra Filmation cartoons of the 1980s (supposedly, Filmation thought the character was silly and refused to use him). He does have a small part in Masters of the Universe: Revelation – basically, he gets beaten up by Teela and Andra who divest him off his ill-gotten gains – and is even voiced by Jason Mewes of Jay and Silent Bob fame. The best on-screen appearance of Stinkor, however, was in the 2002 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon, which even gave the character with one of the silliest powers a plausible origin story, namely that he was a thief from a race of Ewok like beings who wanted to join Skeletor’s gang and suffered a lab accident which turned him into the character we know.

I was initially reluctant to get a Stinkor, because the artificial scents used in smelly toys tend to trigger allergies. Never mind that my old Strawberry Shortcake toys from the 1980s still smell so intensely almost forty years later that they’re kept in a sealed plastic container lest they stink up my parents’ house. However, the modern Stinkor smells a lot less than his vintage counterpart to the point that I hardly get anything at all from him, though my sense of smell is severely impaired.

Stinkor is also one of the comparatively few skunks in popular culture. There is Flower from Bambi, a skunk-like Pokemon and of course that notorious sexual harasser Pepé Le Pew from Looney Tunes. It was the latter who inspired this story.

Somewhere in the Eternian wilderness:

“Come on, my pretty. Forget that idiotic Prince Adam and let me show you how a real Evil Warrior makes love.”

“Ugh, that stench…”

“Oh, she’s swooning already, overcome by my manly aura.”

“More like your infernal stench.”

“Let go off me, fiend!”

“Oh, so you want to play coy? And so spirited. I like that.”

“Hey you, leave my friend alone!”

TWAP!

“Thanks, She-Ra, but I could have handeled him.”

“Oh, I have no doubt of that. But what are friends for, if they can’t lend a hand or a sword in times of need.”

“Today, kids, we want to talk to you about consent. Stinkor tried to kiss me without asking me first. That’s not just rude, that’s harassment and assault. And assault is a crime. So, don’t be like Stinkor. Ask before you touch or kiss a girl.”

“Or a boy. Or any sentient being.”

“Cause you never know. The answer could be ‘yes’. Because consent is sexy.”

“So don’t be like Stinkor here…”

“Actually, my name is Odiphus. Stinkor is just what Skeletor calls me.”

“Which brings us to another important topic: Personal hygiene. Stinkor smells bad and never bathes, which is why no one likes him.”

“Meanwhile, my brother Adam takes a shower every day and everybody likes him.”

“Though he does tend to use up all the hot water after our combat training sessions.”

“You still make him do those combat training lessons? But you know he doesn’t need them.”

“He-Man may not need combat training lessons, but Adam sure does. What if he is separated from his sword?”

“You really put my brother through his paces, do you? I’ve seen Horde drill sergeants who were less intense than you.”

“All because I love him. Talking of which, He-Man always smell nice, even after a battle, because he cares about personal hygiene…”

“Ahem, actually that’s part of our powers.”

“It is? Now I’m jealous.”

“Anyway, don’t be like Stinkor. Take a bath or a shower and pay attention to your personal hygiene and people who are not Skeletor will like you.”

“Hey, I’m right here and I can hear you, you know? And besides, I only smell like this because of a lab accident at Snake Mountain.”

“You know what, She-Ra? I’m sick of this stench. Let’s get him locked up and go somewhere more pleasant.”

Later, in Man-at-Arms’ laboratory…

“That was a job well done and one more Evil Warrior in custody. Though my guards will deserve a bonus for enduring that smell.”

“Can’t your father build an air filter or a stink-proof cell or something like that? Anyway, when you said, ‘Let’s have some tea at my Dad’s lab’, I expected beakers, flasks and test tubes, not fine china.”

“Oh that. The tea set was my grandmother’s and Dad is really weird about it. He wants to me to have it when I get married.”

“He does know that Adam has a whole palace full of silverware and glassware and fine china, doesn’t he? Talking of which, how are things between you and my brother? Any details I should know?”

***

I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story. There will be more stories, including the promised She-Ra story, since the Evil Horde is actually beginning to resemble its name by now.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.

First Monday Free Fiction: The Hidden Castle

Welcome to the July 2022 edition of First Monday Free Fiction.

To recap, inspired by Kristine Kathryn Rusch who posts a free short story every week on her blog, I’ll post a free story on the first Monday of every month. At the end of the month, I’ll take the story down and post another.

But before we get to this month’s story, I have two links to share. For starters, Smashwords is currently having its annual summer sale, where you can get plenty of e-books at reduced prices or for free, including several of mine.

Secondly, I am on the 2022 Hugo Short Story panel at the Hugos There podcast, discussing the 2022 Hugo finalists for Best Short Story with a bunch of awesome people. You can watch the video version here or just listen here.

And now onward to this month’s story. This one is called The Hidden Castle and I originally wrote in in response to a writing prompt in a creative writing class at university, i.e. this story goes quite a way back. It was initially supposed to be the first in a series and there is a sequel that’s about three quarters finished. I should probably revisit it eventually.

But for now, follow the mercenary known only as The Traveller as he seeks…

The Hidden Castle

After thirteen long days and thirteen endless nights, the battle of Yarra was finally over. The forces of Gurgan Betarius, the latest nobleman to attempt to capture the throne of Aronna, had been beaten. And now that the relentless clatter of steel on steel, the steady hail of arrows, the thunder of the cannons and the battlecries of the soldiers had faded, the wails of the dying and the croaks of the carrion birds come to feast on their remains was all that was left.

Among the dead and the dying strode a man, a nameless traveller, all dressed in black. He’d had a name once, and a family, but that was in the distant past. Now, he was but a soldier, a warrior who had survived this battle to fight another day. And so he strutted briskly, his grey eyes full of purpose, seemingly unaware of the dead and the soon to be dead lying all around him.

The Traveller was only too eager to turn his back on the battlefield, find a horse and ride away. For once the battle was over, a mercenary’s work was done. And a mercenary was just what the Traveller was. And like all men of his profession he never stayed around for the aftermath of a battle. The dead, the dying, the wounded, the scorched earth, all that was just too sobering for his taste. It made a man think too much, and that was something the Traveller could not afford.

From the mass of dead bodies, piled up to be buried or burned, lest their corpses attract scavengers or breed disease, a hand reached out to the Traveller and tightened around his blood encrusted boots.

The Traveller was not sure what made him stop. Many of the wounded and the dying were crying for help, desperate for the attention of those still living. The Traveller ignored all of them and he did not know what was different about this one, did not know why this particular man was able to arouse pity within his soul when so many others could not. Perhaps he was just more desperate and more insistent than most.

At any rate, the Traveller bent down to the dying man, both to pry his fingers off his boots and to make him comfortable for the last moments of his life or at least put him out of his misery.

But the dying man was nothing if not persistent. As soon as the Traveller bent down, the man’s fingers clamped down on his wrist with a strength he would not have expected to find in one who would soon be with whatever gods he worshipped.

“Look at me, lad,” the man commanded and his eyes, already glazed over with approaching death, squinted to examine the Traveller. “You’re not one of Aran Gator’s, are you?”

The Traveller shook his head. “Loathe the bastard. And if it’s any comfort to you, I shall kill him one day. Thrust my sword straight into that black heart of his and kill him.”

The dying man smiled — or at least he tried to smile, for his mouth would not quite obey him. “Good, lad. Very good. Just the man I need.”

The Traveller nodded, because he did not know what else to do. This man was not long for this world, that much was clear. Quite possible he was already seeing things, phantoms from the world beyond, like dying men were sometimes wont to do. He was not a common soldier, that much was obvious. His clothes were fine, his armour pricey, and he wore the garb of a nobleman. Not Gurgan Betarius, though, for the Traveller had met him once and this man did not resemble him in the slightest. Besides, Aran Gator’s men were currently busy flaying Gurgan Betarius alive for his treachery. His screams could be heard all over the battlefield, even drowning out the moans of the dying at times.

“Deliver the message,” the dying man said, “You must deliver the message, lad, or the realm is doomed.” He lay back, breathing labouredly, and the Traveller knew that it was over, knew that the man would join his gods with his next few heartbeats.

Yet he still fought. His free hand reached for a pouch at his belt. He pulled something out of the pouch and pressed it into the Traveller’s hand. “Take it, lad.”

The Traveller looked at his hand and saw that the man had given him a necklace with a silver pendant.

It was a gift the Traveller did not want. And so he tried to refuse and pull away, but the dying man’s grip on his hand was firm.

“Take it, son. Take it and deliver the message,” the man whispered with his last breaths, “Give me your word on it.”

The Traveller gave his word, more to comfort a dying man than out of any genuine desire to accept the gift and the mission — whatever that mission might be. It seemed to help, too, for no sooner had he given his word that the stranger passed away as peacefully as the circumstances allowed.

The Traveller closed the dead man’s eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, a final gesture of respect. He briefly considered returning the necklace to its owner. But then, the dead man had clearly wanted him to have it or whoever it was that he saw in the Traveller. Besides, the necklace looked as if it might be worth a fair price, and dead men had no use for trinkets.

So the Traveller put the pendant into a pocket of his breeches, requisitioned a horse from a man who had no need of it anymore and continued his journey, riding away from the bloody battlefields of Yarra.

It was only that night, alone by a fire in his camp in the woods, that the Traveller thought again of the dying man. “Deliver the message.” What message? And to whom should he deliver it? The stranger hadn’t said. Most likely, the dying man had only been fantasising and the words meant nothing at all. At the very gates of death, men often saw into the bleak lands that lay beyond and uttered words that no one living could hope to understand.

But then there was the pendant. It might just be an ordinary trinket, a gift from a sweetheart now widowed before her time. Or it might be more. Curious, the Traveller pulled it from his pocket and held it close to the fire to examine it.

The pendant was heavy and made of silver, the chain from which it was dangling was thick and sturdy. A fine piece of work, covered with intricate engravings and decorated with a large gemstone the colour of dried blood. Worth quite a few coins, most likely.

The Traveller turned the pendant over in his hand. The engravings on the front were purely ornamental and clearly the work of a skilled silversmith. The lines on the back were much rougher, as if they had been hastily scratched into the silver surface with the tip of a knife, most likely by the dying man’s own hand. What was more, they seemed to form a crude map. A crude map that pointed to a spot deep in the vast forest of Jewodda. Most probably the destination of the message. But what was the message?

The Traveller leant closer to the flames to examine the pendant yet again. And finally, he discovered a thin line running around the side of the object. Not a pendant then, but a locket. Intriguing. The Traveller drew his knife and pried the locket open.

Inside, there was neither a good luck charm nor the hairlock of a sweetheart. No, it was a piece of parchment, intricately folded to fit into the locket. And on the parchment, some mysterious words were inscribed in what appeared to be human blood:

On the sixth night after Joffa,
the hunting will be good in the forest of Sabon
at the dead Grovan tree near the road to Yarra.
The rabbit holes will be open and the prey awaits.

This had to be the message. It was certainly strange, though the Traveller had his suspicions what it might mean. Sabon was the residence of Aran Gator, the man who currently fancied himself king of the realm and who had the habit of beheading everyone who dared to disagree. The sixth night after Joffa would be soon, and the rest of the message hinted at an attempted rebellion against Aran Gator. It would be the twelfth or thirteenth such attempt in barely ten years now.

The Traveller had never really planned to keep the promise he had given the dying man. After all he was a mercenary, and now that the battle of Yarra was over and the side he had fought on beaten, he ought to find himself a new employer and a new battle to fight in.

And by the Star of Aronna, there had hardly been a shortage of battles since the ambitious nobleman Aran Gator had murdered the rightful king and his Clan and usurped the throne of Aronna, which had led to a bloody and endless civil war, as nobleman after nobleman rebelled to gain the throne for themselves and their Clans.

As much as the common people might suffer under the constant battles and the cruel reign of Aran Gator, to a mercenary the Clan Wars were an excellent opportunity to make a lot of profit. An opportunity the Traveller had never been hesitant to take.

So why was he suddenly considering to take the time to ride to Jewodda and deliver the dying man’s message, when there was profit waiting to be made on the battlefield? Was it because the Traveller had become weary after ten years of war, ten years that had yielded more pain than profit? Or was it that he was more intrigued by the mysterious message inside the locket than he’d like to admit? Or was it that he spotted an opportunity to make money in this mission, for the whole affair smelled like yet another attempt at rebellion? Or maybe it was that although he was a mercenary, the Traveller was still a man of honour, a man who kept his word?

At any rate he decided to postpone finding himself another battle to fight and ride into the forest of Jewodda to deliver the message instead.

***

Sunlight fell through the leaves of the ancient Grovan trees, creating an emerald glow in the forest beneath. A few Yilina birds chirped in the treetops, but otherwise all was quiet and peaceful.

But then another sound invaded this oasis of calm, the hollow clatter of a horse’s hooves, somewhat muffled by the thick carpet of moss that covered the entire ground. Nonetheless, the unusual sound stirred up a small cloud of blue Yilina birds. But then the sounds of human presence were hardly ever heard within in the vast and largely uncharted Jewodda Woods.

But now the black-garbed Traveller and his horse as dark as midnight intruded into this peaceful sanctuary of nature. He brought his horse to a halt and looked around. Then he pulled a gleaming object from a pocket and glanced at it. Almost there.

The Traveller continued his journey, more briskly than before. By now, he was already a three days’ ride into the forest of Jewodda and according to the crude map etched onto the back of the locket he would reach his destination soon.

Not for the first time, he wondered what he would find there. The dying man who had given him the locket had neither been a common soldier nor a mercenary, for he had worn the garb of a nobleman. And he had neither worn the colours of Aran Gator nor of the latest Clan to rebel against him. Most likely, he belonged to yet another Clan planning an uprising? But then the Jewodda forest was not even within the territory of any Clan and was generally uninhabited except for a few robbers, smugglers and other outlaws. But the fallen nobleman would surely not have mixed with such scum. Or would he?

All of a sudden, the trees parted and the Traveller rode onto a clearing. Before him, a few skinny cows and goats grazed peacefully on a fenced off meadow here in the deepest heart of the Jewodda woods. Next to the meadow, there was a small but well tended vegetable garden and looming above it all, a castle with a spire that was almost as tell as the tallest of the trees surrounding it. A few signs of decay were visible, but otherwise the building seemed to be well habitable. So much for the idea that Jewodda was uninhabited.

He had found the destination of the message, that much was clear. But who were the people who lived here and how would they react to the Traveller’s arrival? He was not the man they expected after all, so they might well view him as an intruder and react accordingly. Thoughtfully, the Traveller examined the tower of the castle. It was encrusted with stucco and topped by an ornate wind vane, but the embrasures and the eye-shaped holes in its walls made it all too clear that the tower was not purely ornamental. From up there, they could observe intruders from miles away and pick off anyone who as much as looked as if they might pose of threat before they had the chance to cross the clearing. So the Traveller cut two branches from a nearby bush and crossed them over his breast in the universal sign of peace before he rode further into the clearing.

There was no one to be seen, there was no reaction at all, although the Traveller was sure that he was being watched from the unblinking eye-holes in the wall of the tower. He made his way past the meadow and the garden, past brambles and rose bushes, until he finally came to a halt in front of a large wooden door and dismounted. In the centre of the door, there was a large knocker, shaped like a lion’s head. It was rusty, but it still served its purpose, when the Traveller let the heavy iron ring fall against the wooden door.

“I come in peace,” he called out, “I deliver a message.”

A Yilina bird fluttered from the tower, stirred up by the knock and the Traveller’s voice, but other than that there was no reaction.

Whatever the Traveller had expected, this was not it. Nonetheless, he decided to try again, just in case no one had heard him the first time around. As if that were likely…

So he grabbed the heavy knocker and called, “Is anybody there? I come in peace. I’ve come to deliver a message and a pendant that was handed to me by a dying man.”

There still was no reaction, no movement anywhere to be seen in or around the castle. But nevertheless the Traveller was sure that the building was not deserted. Had it been for even a short while, the Jewodda forest would already have begun to overgrow it and more animals than just a single Yilina bird would have made it their home.

And the Traveller was right, for inside the mysterious castle his arrival had indeed been noted. A cluster of people were gathered at the foot of the great staircase just beyond the wooden door, conferring with each other in whispers too low to be heard outside the thick walls of their hidden castle.

“Quiet. Perhaps he’ll go away again.”

“But he said he came in peace.”

“It might be trap.”

“But it’s just one man. We can deal with him, if necessary.”

“There might be others lurking in the woods.”

Outside, the Traveller pulled the pendant from underneath his black cloak and held it to the light, the polished silver gleaming in the rays of sunlight falling through the canopy of trees surrounding the castle.

“See, I have the pendant and the message,” he called out, “Open the door. I come in peace.”

Unbeknown to the Traveller, a green eye was pressed to a spy-eye drilled into the thick wood of the door to observe the going-ons outside.

“By the Star of Aronna, he has got the pendant.”

“That must mean Garat Tarmin is dead. He would never have given it to them willingly.”

“The stranger need not be one of Aran Gator’s men.”

“But he could be.”

“The stars preserve us, they know where we are!”

“Don’t be silly! If they knew where we were, they would have sent an army instead of just one man.”

“She is right.”

“But the danger is too great. We must not be found.”

“And the message? It is vital to our fight.”

“Yes, but survival is more vital.”

While the listeners were conferring among themselves, the Traveller had had enough. He raised his voice once more and called, louder than before, “Have it your way then. I came, but no one answered. Still, I kept my word.”

He put the silver chain with the pendant around the neck of the lion that held the doorknocker and mounted his horse. But before riding away, he turned around one last time and called out, “Know that I am no friend of Aran Gator’s either. I would never fight for the likes of him.”

Then the Traveller turned around, gave his horse the spurs and rode away.

Unnoticed by the Traveller, the wooden door opened just a crack. A hand shot out and reached for the pendant. The hand closed round the silver locket to retrieve it and the door would have closed again, had not one of the listeners inside the castle shoved all restraining arms aside, pushed the door fully open and cried out after the Traveller, “Stranger, wait!”

The Traveller brought his horse to a halt and turned around. There was a girl standing in the doorway. She was young, not yet twenty years of age, with long dark hair and the most striking green eyes the Traveller had ever seen.

The Traveller smiled and raised his hand in greeting. “So you have changed your mind then?”

He turned his horse around and rode back towards the castle, while other faces, all considerably older than the girl and save one exclusively male, appeared in the doorway and began scolding the girl at once.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“How could you risk our safety like that?”

“He could have…”

“Silence yourselves,” the girl ordered. She looked like a simple peasant girl, clad in a plain linen gown, her feet bare. But the commanding tone of her voice and the way in which the older men immediately fell silent in her presence suggested that she was anything but a peasant. Not unless the scullery maids were running the castle now.

“He said that he was no friend of Aran Gator’s and I choose to believe him,” the girl said.

The Traveller dismounted from his horse once more, but before he could approach the castle gates, several of the men placed themselves protectively in front of the girl, pointing swords and spears at him. Their swords were of fine quality steel, finer than a mere mercenary or common soldier could ever hope to afford. And though the men were no longer young, they looked like seasoned fighters who’d seen their share of battles and knew how to stand their ground. Yet their clothes, though faded and threadbare and of a cut that had last been in fashion just before Aran Gator’s rebellion, were those of noblemen rather than common peasants. Most intriguing indeed.

“You still confuse hospitality with hostility,” the Traveller said, unperturbed by the weapons that were pointed at him. He picked up the twigs he’d cut earlier and crossed them over his chest again to signal his intentions. “I told you that I came in peace and I am a man of my word.”

“I apologise for the behaviour of my people,” the girl said and pushed past her would-be guardians. They did not look happy about that at all. “But you must understand that we have to be careful. Our mission is far too important to take risks. But now tell me what happened to Garat Tarmin. Is he dead?”

“If you mean the man who gave me the pendant, he is dead. Whether he was called Garat Tarmin I do not know. I had no time to ask him.”

The girl lowered her green eyes. “So Garat Tarmin is dead. Tell me, how did he die?”

“In the battle of Yarra, where I found him. His last words were ‘Deliver the message’ before he gave me the pendant and passed away.”

“So Garat Tarmin gave his life to carry out his mission,” the girl said, “His sacrifice will not have been in vain.”

The girl and her companions lowered their heads and crossed their arms in remembrance of the late Garat Tarmin. The Traveller joined in as well, more out of respect than out of any grief for a man he had not known for longer than the space of his final heartbeats.

After an appropriate moment of silence had been observed for their fallen comrade, the inhabitants of the hidden castle got right back to business.

“The message. Where is it?” the girl wanted to know.

“Inside the pendant. I will show you, if you let me.” The Traveller stretched out his hand for the pendant, but immediately one of the men caught him by the wrist.

“That’s far enough, stranger,” he growled.

The Traveller shook off the man, unsure whether his opponent was concerned about the pendant or the girl or both. He shrugged. “Have it your way. If you have the time to waste trying to figure out to get to your message…”

The girl shoved her would-be protector aside and smiled at him. “Once again I have to apologise for my associates.” She held out the pendant and put it into the Traveller’s hand. “Nonetheless, we should not discuss such important affairs out here. If you will follow me inside?” She turned around in a swirl of linen skirts and vanished into the castle.

The Traveller wanted to follow her, but the men blocked his way with their spears and swords. He sighed. “What now?”

“Your weapons, sir,” one of the men said.

The girl reappeared at the door. “I beg you again to excuse the rudeness of my men,” she said, “But for our own safety it is necessary to disarm you.”

Grudgingly the Traveller unfastened his sword belt and handed it to one of the men. And when the man made no move to get out of his way, but just glared at him, the Traveller also pulled the back-up knife from his boot. And since his own spear as well as his bow remained with the horse, the guard finally stepped aside, allowing the Traveller to follow the girl into the castle.

His steps echoed heavy on the bare stone floor of the sparsely furnished castle, while the girl’s bare feet made barely any sound at all. She led him into a smaller chamber, whose walls were covered with faded tapestries of hunting scenes, while a multitude of rugs and cushions were piled thickly onto the floor. In the hearth, a comfortable fire was blazing.

The girl’s guardians had followed them, their hands still hovering near their swords, ready to cut down the Traveller at any perceived danger to their charge. Not that he harboured any intentions towards the girl. She was pretty and would certainly grow quite beautiful, but she was also much too young for him. And whatever else the Traveller was, he was still a man of honour and would not harm women or children or whatever lay in between.

The girl shot an impatient glare at her retinue. “Ama, will you please bring us something to eat?” she said to the lone old woman. Then she turned to the Traveller. “I am sure you will be hungry after your long journey.” She shot another eloquent glare at her associates, and when they still refused to budge, she ordered, “Leave us alone!”

Some of the men attempted to protest, but the girl was quite insistent. “I will be safe. And now leave!”

The guards bowed and obeyed, even though they were grown men and seasoned fighters by the looks of them and she was just a slip of a girl. Very strange. And intriguing. For why would grown men, soldiers at that, take orders from a child?

Once the men were gone and they were alone in the room, the girl dropped the commanding attitude. She flung herself onto a pile of cushions, suddenly looking very much like the child that she was. “I truly have to apologise for my people,” she said, settling into a crosslegged position, “They are good men, but so eager to protect me that they sometimes forget their manners.”

The Traveller sat down likewise, well aware that he was getting road dirt and blood all over the fine silk cushions. He had a lot of questions, but before he could ask any of them, the old woman returned with a tray and put it down in front of him. There was bread and cheese, a small earthenware bowl of pickle and a jug of wine. A good meal, probably the best he’d had since before the battle of Yarra. The Traveller thanked the old woman with a slight nod and she left, not without shooting him a sharp glare. Probably a warning not to even dare touch her charge, if he wanted to leave the forest of Jewodda and the castle hidden at its very heart alive. But then, the Traveller had not intention of harming the girl. Though he had questions.

So he looked straight at the girl with his eyes of cold steel. “So tell me, girl, who are you that those wise men and seasoned warriors are so eager to protect you and let themselves be ordered around like fools by a mere child like you?”

The girl met his gaze, her striking green eyes locking on his. “I am Chani,” she said with the haughtiness of one who thought that the name should mean something to him.

The Traveller returned her gaze. Grey eyes met green, as he demanded, “And who, Chani, are you that you live in a hidden castle in the Jewodda forest surrounded by people who would fight and die for you and who obey your every word?”

The girl rose to her bare feet. And though she was considerably smaller than him, at this moment she nonetheless towered above him.

“I am the legitimate queen of Aronna,” she said with a voice and bearing so regal that it might well have been true, although the Traveller knew that the whole idea was ridiculous.

“I have seen many men make the same claim,” the Traveller replied, “Some of them still made that claim, while their head was already on the chopping block. So why should I believe you?”

“Because unlike those men, I speak the truth.”

“Prove it then.”

She was dressed like a peasant girl, though an exceptionally pretty one. But when she reached beneath the neckline of her simple linen dress, she produced a necklace holding a star-shaped pendant glittering with gemstones in every colour of the rainbow.

“Behold the Star of Aronna, the sign of the Royal Clan.”

Every man in the realm knew the Star of Aronna, the priceless necklace that adorned the chest of the rightful king. It was currently hanging around the neck of Aran Gator, though everybody knew that the star Aran Gator wore was merely a reproduction, a pale copy of the real thing, which had been lost during the slaughter of the old king and his Clan. Yet here it was, the one and only true Star of Aronna, hanging from the neck of a girl not yet twenty years of age.

It occurred to the Traveller that if this was indeed the true Star of Aronna, then maybe he ought to kneel. However, it also occurred to him, that the girl was most likely lying, though she was more convincing than most of the would-be kings to whom he’d hired out his sword and his spear over the years.

“That’s impossible,” he said, “All members of the Royal Clan were slain by Aran Gator’s men. No one survived that massacre. No woman, no child, nobody.”

“No one survived except for me,” the girl said softly, her green eyes clouded with memory and grief, “The chaos was great, the murderers busy, so nobody noticed how a six-year-old girl, the King’s youngest daughter, slipped away in the general confusion. My nurse Ama managed to smuggle me out of the palace and together we escaped into the forest of Jewodda. We have been here ever since.”

“And this place? What is it?”

“An ancient and all but forgotten hunting lodge, that has been in the possession of my family for generations. The ideal hiding place.”

“And those men protecting you…?”

“…are member of the noble Clans that remained loyal to my father and neither joined Aran Gator nor attempted to gain the crown for themselves.”

“And Garat Tarmin was one of them?”

The girl nodded. “He was head of the once mighty Clan of Tarminan. A most brave and noble man and a good friend of my father’s.”

The Traveller took a bite of cheese and calculatingly looked Chani up and down. She certainly did not look like the most likely challenger to Aran Gator. A bit young and inexperienced, but her protectors and advisors might make up for what Chani lacked. And after ten years, many people would prefer a water ox on the throne to Aran Gator, let alone a comely young girl. Besides, she did have the distinct advantage of having the genuine Star of Aronna hanging round her slender neck. And many would rally to the Star of Aronna where they would not rally to any other Clan’s banner.

He took a gulp of wine. “Now, I presume that after Aran Gator has ruled Aronna with an iron hand for ten years, you are planning to reclaim your rightful place on the throne. And the message that Garat Tarmin was trying to deliver contains information vital for your uprising.”

“Information vital to our success,” the girl said, “May I have it now.”

“Of course. Give me a knife and you shall have it.”

Wordlessly, Chani drew a jewelled dagger from underneath her simple dress and handed it to him with barely a hint of apprehension. She leant forward and watched him as he traced the thin line around the side of the locket with the dagger. The two silver shells split to reveal the folded piece of parchment lying within.

“Here you are,” the Traveller said and handed her the locket. “On the sixth night after Joffa, the hunting will be good in the forest of Sabon at the dead Grovan tree near the road to Yarra. The rabbit holes will be open and the prey awaits,” he recited.

“You have read it? You opened the locket?”

“Of course.”

Her green eyes were flashing with anger now, and if she was the slightest bit apprehensive about the dagger in his hand, she gave no sign of it. “Why?” She demanded.

The Traveller leant back and took another draft of wine, entirely unperturbed. “I was curious,” he admitted, “After all, I did not want to risk a three days’ ride into the unknown for the sake of an inventory list or a sappy love note. Or a bit of nonsense about hunting and rabbit holes…” His grey eyes looked straight at Chani. “But it isn’t nonsense, is it? Particularly since the residence of Aran Gator happens to be in the city of Sabon. And I trust that you are not planning a little hunting outing on the very doorstep of your sworn enemy.”

Now it was Chani’s turn to look him up and down. “Your black garb marks you as a mercenary,” she said, “And mercenaries are said to betray anybody and anything for a bag of gold. How do I know if I can trust you?”

She was certainly not shy about speaking her mind. The Traveller had to admire that. What was more, she was smart not to trust him. After all, nobody trusted mercenaries and with good reason, too, for they were known to turn on their employers whenever someone offered them a higher price. Not that the Traveller had ever done that. He had principles after all. Once he had taken a man’s gold and shook his hand, he’d keep to the contract, until either the contract ran out or his employer was dead. Or — like the unfortunate Gurgan Betarius — left begging for the release of death. But then, the girl had no way of knowing that and her advisors had done well to warn her. So why did her perfectly understandable lack of trust anger the Traveller so much?

“I may be a mercenary, but I am still a man of honour,” he declared, “I gave your Garat Tarmin my word to deliver his message when he lay dying on the fields of Yarra, and I kept it, although it gained me nothing. Now I am giving my word to you, Princess Chani. You can trust me.”

The girl met his gaze, her green eyes as unfathomable as the forest of Jewodda where she’d made her home. “Yes, you served Garat Tarmin well,” she said thoughtfully, “He was wise to pick you to deliver his message from all the men he might have chosen. And I have always trusted Garat Tarmin’s judgment.” She paused. “And I trust you not to sell us out to Aran Gator.”

If she didn’t, the Traveller was sure that her men would already have cut his throat. Or died trying.

“Still, you are a mercenary, offering your services to the highest bidder. What interest could you possibly have in our plans?”

“I’m a mercenary out of work,” he reminded her.

“And I am a queen with neither a crown nor gold to pay you,” Chani said, “So why are you still here?”

The Traveller had been asking himself that very same question and so far he hadn’t found a satisfying answer. For if he were smart, he’d climb right back onto his horse and gallop as fast and as far away from the girl called Chani and her hidden castle inside the forest of Jewodda as he could and forget that he’d ever set foot inside this place at all. A young girl and a bunch of old men against Aran Gator — he knew insanity when he saw it. There was no way they could beat the usurper and his army, no way they could win. Most likely, they were all headed for a nasty and bloody death. But then, the Traveller had never been a smart man.

“Maybe because I’m burning to thrust my sword into Aran Gator’s chest,” he finally said, “And your rebellion seems as good a chance as any.”

“So you are no friend of Aran Gator’s yourself?” Chani asked.

“You might say that, Princess.”

“What kind of grudge do you hold against him?”

The Traveller turned away, suddenly unable to look her in the eye. “Much the same grudge as you,” he said, “Aran Gator killed my brother. And he will pay for that some day.”

“I am sorry,” Chani said. And all of a sudden, she reached out across the tray of half eaten cheese and bread and the half empty bowl of pickle to put her hand on his. Her fingers were slender, just like she was, yet her grip was surprisingly firm. “And I do trust you,” she said.

“So what is your plan?”

“Underneath the palace of Sabon…” Chani said, her little hand still holding on to his, “…there were many ancient tunnels stretching far outwards into the surrounding woods. When Aran Gator came to power, he had all the tunnels blocked — that is all the tunnels that were charted. But there is one tunnel that was not in any of the maps.”

Without noticing it, she tightened her grip on his hand.

“Aran Gator does not know about that tunnel. I am the only one who does, because I used to play there when I was a child. The tunnel begins behind a tapestry in my old nursery. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to find out where it ends.”

“And so you sent Garat Tarmin to find out,” the Traveller said.

Chani nodded. “Our numbers are too small. In the field, we would stand no chance against the armies of Aran Gator…”

She was right about that. Star of Aronna or not, a girl and a handful of old men were no match for Aran Gator.

“…but that tunnel should take us directly into the heart of the palace. And with the army occupied with one Clan War or another, it should be possible to overthrow Aran Gator from within.”

The Traveller nodded approvingly. “It sounds like a good plan to me.”

“It’s the only chance we have of ever beating Aran Gator,” Chani said quietly, “It’s the only chance I will ever have of avenging the deaths of my family.”

She paused, and the Traveller could all but see the thoughts flitting across her mind.

“You said that you were burning for a chance to thrust your sword into the foul heart of Aran Gator,” Chani said, “So why don’t you join us in our fight? My people are skilled and brave fighters, but they are old. Many of them served as advisors to my father, some even to my grandfather.” Her hand tightened on his. “I have need of a man like you.”

Deep inside what passed for the Traveller’s soul, there was a small voice that wanted to say yes, that wanted to pledge his sword and his shield to Chani. Because she was the one true queen of Aronna and a sweet little thing besides and quite possible his best chance of finally getting at the murderer of his brother. But the Traveller was quite adept at silencing any of those niggling voices in his head that reminded him of who he used to be.

“I’m still a mercenary,” he replied gruffly, “Can you pay me?”

A shadow of disappointment crossed Chani’s green eyes, as she let go off his hand.

“Right now I have nothing but my word to give you,” she said, “But if we succeed, all the riches of Aronna shall be yours. But for now, as a down payment, take this.”

She pushed up the sleeve of her simple linen dress to reveal a bracelet of spun gold, woven into an intricate braid and studded with gemstones and pearls. “It was my mother’s.” She unfastened the bracelet and handed it to the Traveller. “Now it shall be yours.”

The Traveller looked down at the bracelet in his hand, a work of the goldsmith’s art valuable enough to buy his services and his sword for a year at the very least. And yet he knew that he could not accept this gift.

“Keep it,” he said, “I will not take the souvenirs of your loved ones from you.”

Gently, he took the girl’s hand and fastened the bracelet around her wrist again.

“But I will give something to you,” Chani insisted. She looked around, but there was nothing in the small chamber that would serve as payment for a mercenary.

Finally, she had an idea and a smile crossed her face. “As a first down payment, would a kiss be sufficient?”

The Traveller looked at her and decided that she was really very sweet, though much too young for him and trouble besides, for ladies of noble birth were mostly trouble. Yet he had the feeling this one might be worth it.

“I think a kiss would be quite sufficient,” he said.

She closed her eyes and poised her lips expectantly, still too young and inexperienced to make the first move.

“Join me,” she said, “Fight by my side.”

Gently the Traveller bowed towards the girl.

“Trust me, my sweet Chani, I will,” he whispered just before his lips touched hers.

The End

***

That’s it for this month’s edition of First Monday Free Fiction. Check back next month, when a new free story will be posted.

Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre: “The Rescue”

If you missed my reading at the Space Cowboy Books Flash Science Fiction Night last Tueday, you now have the chance to listen to it again at the Space Cowboy Books YouTube Channel (with video) or at Bandcamp (audio only).

The story I read is called “Unemployed” and this is currently the only place where you can read/listen to it. The other two stories read at the Flash Science Fiction Night were “Reaction Shot” by Todd Sullivan and “Dead Matter” by Jana Bianchi. Make sure to listen to them, because both are great stories.

Meanwhile, the promised epic She-Ra Master-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo story is coming, but in the meantime, here is another action figure photo story, based on a story that I posted on Twitter a while back. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.

“Corporal, you will escort Prince Adam on his diplomatic mission to Avion and defend him with your life, if necessary. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“I can take care of myself, you know?”

“I am responsible for your safety, Adam, so the Corporal will accompany you.”

“And you’re sure you can’t come? Cause I’d rather have you by my side than him.”

“No, I have to stay her and oversee the training maneouvres of the palace guards. Safe travels, Adam.”

Later, en route to Avion…

“Aren’t you glad to have escaped Teela’s training maneouvres, Corporal? Cause I sure am. I mean, I love Teela, but she can be so exhausting…”

“What a catch! The boss will be pleased.”

“You take the guard and I take the Prince.”

“Ambush! Behind me, Your Highness! En garde, fiend!”

“By the Power of…”

SLAM!

“Victory is ours! The great God Cthulhu has smiled on us today.”

“Shut up and help me with the Prince, carp face.”

“Okay, you take the feet and I take the shoulders.”

“What about his sword?”

“Leave it. Uff, he’s heavier than he looks. Must be all the good food at the palace.”

Later, once it was becomes clear that Prince Adam never reached Avion…

“Owww, my head…”

“What happened, Corporal? Where is Prince Adam?”

“Ambush. Mer-Man and Beast-Man…”

“Adam’s sword. This is not good.”

“You had one job, Corporal, one job. Protect Prince Adam, with your life, if necessary. And you failed. I swear, if something happens to Adam, you will be scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Don’t be so hard on the Corporal, Teela. It wasn’t his fault.”

“I know. I should have gone with Adam. Oh Father, what if something happens to him?”

“We’ll find Adam and save him. I promise.”

Meanwhile, in the dungeons of Snake Mountain…

“All right, Randor, listen to me. I’ve got your worthless son. And if you don’t give me the throne you stole from me and the royal palace and the secrets of Castle Grayskull before sundown, I’ll cut off the boy’s head, send it to you in a box and feed the rest to my Evil Warriors. Of yes, and I want you crawling on your knees, as you surrender to me. And I want He-Man, too. On his knees, surrendering himself to my mercy.”

“This won’t work, Skeletor. My Dad thinks I’m a failure. He won’t give up the throne, not for me. And He-Man won’t come for me either, I can guarantee you that.”

“Of course, He-Man will come to rescue you. That bleeding heart muscle-bound oaf would come for anyone.”

“For anybody else maybe, but not for me. You see, He-Man and I… well, we both like the same girl and she likes him better than me.”

“Okay, so I lost my sword and can’t turn into He-Man. And Dad can’t give in to Skeletor’s demands, even if he wanted to, which I doubt. Looks like I’m really screwed this time. On the plus side, maybe Dad will give this democracy thing that Mom has been bugging him about a try now.”

Meanwhile, back at the royal palace…

“Okay, so this is the plan. My android duplicate of He-Man will distract Skeletor and then…”

“If your android He-Man works, you mean…”

“He will work. And now shut up, Malcolm. Anyway, the plan…”

“How can you all be so calm, when Adam is in danger? We must rescue him.”

“And we will rescue him, Teela, in due time.”

“Adam doesn’t have time. Haven’t you heard what Skeletor said? He’s going to cut his head off at sunset.”

“Ah, young love, so passionate…”

“Shut up, Malcolm.”

“I know you’re upset, Teela, but losing our heads won’t help Adam.”

“Great choice of words there, brother.”

“Shut up, Malcolm.”

“It’s all my fault. I should have gone with Adam.”

“Hmm, I guess I’d better take this sword, since Adam will need it.”

“I know how you feel, Teela. After all, Adam is my friend, too.”

“Then why aren’t you helping him, Ranius? Why are none of you helping Adam? Not even He-Man!”

“He-Man is… ahem… indisposed.”

“And She-Ra?”

“She’s on Etheria. The Sorceress has sent her a message, but…”

“She’s busy, I know. Everybody is too busy to save Adam.”

“Okay, I got the sword. Now how to sneak into Snake Mountain? I know, my magic teleportation spell. I just hope it works for once.”

“Well, if none of you are going to help, then I am going to rescue Adam, even if I have to do it alone.”

“Teela, wait…”

“Stubborn, just like her father.”

“Shut up, Malcolm!”

“Oh great, now Teela is putting herself into danger. She’ll only get herself captured and then we’ll have to rescue her, too. Why, oh why must she always be so stubborn?”

“Wonder who she got it from, Duncan.”

“Shut up, Malcolm.”

“Say, has one of you seen Orko? I could’ve sworn he was here only a moment ago.”

Meanwhile, deep in the dungeons of Snake Mountain…

“Orko, what are you doing here?”

“What’s it look like? I’m rescuing you.”

“I don’t suppose you can magically free me from these chains?”

“No, but I’ve got something better. Uh, sorry, not that.”

“Oh, that’s not it either. Sorry, Adam.”

“Orko, hurry up!”

The fan and the rose are Playmobil accessories, which do work with Masters of the Universe figures.

“Ah, now I’ve got it. Ta-da!”

“My sword! Now we’re back in business.”

“By the Power of Grayskull…”

“…I have the Power.”

SNAP!

“Ah, that’s better. Those chains were chafing. And now let’s get out of here.”

“Right behind you, He-Man.”

Meanwhile, in another part of Snake Mountain…

“Say, why are our dungeons covered in Delft tiles? Windmills and wooden shoes aren’t exactly scary.”

“The boss says, it’s because the blood is easier to wash off. Talking of which, do you think the Prince really has blue blood?”

“Well, we’ll know soon enough, once the boss cuts off his head. Bwahaha.”

“Intruder! Alert! Get her!”

“You’ll be cutting no one’s head off, monster!”

“I flattened the flounder, so it’s just you and me now, Beast-Man.”

“Bring it on, little girl! I’ll tear you limb from limb and then we’ll send your head back to the palace along with that of the Prince, bwahaha.”

“Allow me to deal with him.”

TWAP!

“He-Man, you came after all. But I thought…”

“Orko alerted me, so of course I came.”

“Where’s Adam? Is he…?”

“He’s safe, Teela. I freed him and told him to get the hell out of here. And I suggest we do the same.”

“Don’t tell Adam, but I was terribly worried about him. Cause I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed. I’m very good at keeping secrets, you know?”

“Oh, he absolutely is, snicker…”

Back at the palace…

“Adam, you’re safe! I was so worried…”

“I’m glad to see you, too, Teela.”

“Aww, young love…”

“Shut up, Malcolm.”

***

I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story. There will be more stories, including the promised She-Ra story, since the Evil Horde is actually beginning to resemble its name by now.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.

Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month for June 2022

It’s that time of the month again, time for “Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month”.

So what is “Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month”? It’s a round-up of speculative fiction by indie and small press authors newly published this month, though some May books I missed the last time around snuck in as well. The books are arranged in alphabetical order by author. So far, most links only go to Amazon.com, though I may add other retailers for future editions.

Once again, we have new releases covering the whole broad spectrum of speculative fiction. This month, we have urban fantasy, epic fantasy, YA fantasy, fantasy romance, paranormal romance, paranormal mystery, paranormal historical mystery, science fiction romance, space opera, military science fiction, YA science fiction, horror, non-fiction, wizards, dragons, fae, final girls, super soldiers, space marines, magical heists, crime-busting witches, haunted hotels and much more.

Don’t forget that Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month is also crossposted to the Speculative Fiction Showcase, a group blog run by Jessica Rydill and myself, which features new release spotlights, guest posts, interviews and link round-ups regarding all things speculative fiction several times per week.

As always, I know the authors at least vaguely, but I haven’t read all of the books, so Caveat emptor.

And now on to the books without further ado:

The Final Women by Pardeep Aujla:

The mass murdering Phantom of Haven Cove is dead. For the one who killed him, however, life has never been the same.

How do you return to normality after facing such a monster? How do you live when consumed by guilt, anger, fear, and denial? How do you connect with others when no one understands what you’ve been through?

But there are others. Final Girls of their own Haven Cove massacres. And now, thirty years later, they must all face a new question…

What do you do when the killer returns?

Entangled by Odette C. Bell:

Some are born with a plan. Some are born into someone else’s plan.

Bruce Tan is the best soldier the Coalition has seen in decades. With a cold, efficient will and a hardened fist, he forces his way through every obstacle.

But the universe has another plan for him. When an alien artifact entangles his body and mind with the weak, panic-prone Cadet Emma Hawk, he must learn a new way.

And quickly.

The Coalition’s enemies soon kidnap them, and Bruce and Emma are thrust head-first into a fight for the universe. They have two options: stay together, as close as two entangled particles – or break apart and take everyone else with them.

The Book of Shadow was found, but the quest continues…

Llyris Fildarae is still reeling with the news of her heritage imparted by an old man claiming to be the great mage Amnayel Prisma—doubtful, though he’s proven able to perform unusual wonders even a magik couldn’t. He cured a boy, yet now demands a stave to aid in healing a fallen knight.

The quest she and her companions embark on requires them to travel to the Obsidian Fields, a place no one has visited since time immemorial. Even Prisma himself—if that is who he is—cannot tell them what it may look like or what to expect once there.

What dangers will they face? Magic? Deadly curses? The undead again?

No one knows. Not even a Shadow Scarred.

First Kill by Jonathan P. Brazee and J.N. Chaney:

A routine reconnaissance mission. Find out where the enemy Mad Dogs are, and report back.

Simple.

But Tomiko Reiser is a staff sergeant, a combat Marine, and Marines don’t run from a fight. When her patrol spots the enemy, she realizes the opportunity is there, and she maneuvers closer for a better look.

Combat never goes as planned, and Tomiko might have bit off more than she could chew. Faced with a powerful foe and a sergeant she doesn’t trust, she might have made a fatal mistake.

Dive into this brand new short story from Staff Sergeant Tomiko Reiser’s point of view from the Dragon Award nominated Sentenced to War series.

Gods of War by Jonathan P. Brazee and J.N. Chaney:

As the flames of the Human/Naxli war are fanned into a blaze, the Second Combined Assault Brigade is thrown into the conflict.

But with troopers from throughout humanity, including former enemies, Gunnery Sergeant Reverent Pelletier struggles to mold his platoon into an effective fighting force, all while butting heads with his Mad Dog commander.

Under water, in the vacuum of space, and leading local forces, the platoon puts their stamp on history. But there is a limit to any fighting force. Will and discipline alone can’t defeat overwhelming firepower. When faced with insurmountable odds, can Rev and his troopers survive, much less accomplish their mission?

Join Rev, Tomiko, Kelly, and the rest of the Marines and soldiers as they fight the Naxli aggression that threatens humankind’s very existence.

Magic Alias by Fatima Fayez:

What if the past two years of your life were a lie?

Yesterday, I believed I was the smartest witch at the supernatural agency. My magic and power made me their most effective agent, reclaiming stolen artifacts and tracking down dangerous rogues.

Today, I know the organization I work for is actually a front for a sprawling criminal network that threatens to upend the paranormal world. It only took a serial killer to break the news to me and turn my world upside down.

All this time, I believed the agency didn’t know about my dark secret but it turns out I was the mark all along. Now I have to figure out how deep I’m in.

Tomorrow, I’m taking them down.

I’m having a bad day and I have a feeling it’s about to get

By Your Side: The First 100 Years of Yuri Anime and Manga by Erica Friedman:

The Untold Story of Lesbian Love in Japanese Anime and Comics

“By Your Side is the complete Yuri resource I only ever dreamed could exist. Decades in the making, this glorious collection surveys, analyzes, and contextualizes Yuri with unparalleled detail and enthusiasm. Friedman graces readers with illuminating insights as they follow her through a century of the genre’s evolution and revolution. By sharing her extraordinary knowledge, she provides inquirers, scholars, and aficionados alike with a deeper appreciation and understanding of lesbian anime and manga while galvanizing them towards the next era of Yuri.”

-Nicki Bauman, Yurimother

“The first in-depth study of Yuri in English.”

-James Welker, Professor of Cross-Cultural and Japanese Studies, Kanagawa University

For a Few Witches More by Lily Harper Hart:

Casper Creek is a town in flux. Contractors are on the scene making plans for the new restaurant, owner Hannah Hickok is plotting ridiculous couple’s costumes for the Halloween party, and there’s a new demon in town.

Instead of coming after Hannah directly, the demon does an end-run around the witch and starts possessing the area children … and sending them into a frenzy. Through a fluke, Hannah manages to put an end to the first attack. Unfortunately, a wave of them are set to follow.

Hannah’s boyfriend Cooper Wyatt believes she can handle almost anything, but a threat against children puts her in a tough position … especially since the demon seems to be demanding something that’s impossible for Hannah to give him. He wants to be there for her, but this fight is one he’s not certain they can win.

Demons are nothing new for Hannah, but this one has a particular agenda, and nobody will survive if it comes to fruition. Because she has no other options, Hannah is forced to join forces with an enemy who can provide an exponential power boost. Will it be a mistake?

Hannah is determined to protect those she loves. This time, the foe might be too strong for her to defeat.

Wicked Graves by Lily Harper Hart:

Maddie Graves-Winters should be preparing for the biggest day of her life – she’s going to become a mother in three months after all – but that’s impossible without the right crib. That means an outing to nearby Shadow Lake with her husband Nick, which turns into a nightmare she wasn’t expecting when a local author is struck in the middle of the road and left for dead.

Ivy Morgan-Harker didn’t even know they had a famous author in town until she was already dead. When helping her husband Jack and his new partner search the dead woman’s house, she finds an entire wall of grievances, which seems to indicate the victim had more than one enemy.

When Maddie and Ivy cross paths, sparks fly … in a magical way. It isn’t long before the truth comes out and they join forces to solve a mystery.
Apparently, the author world is full of kooks, or at least that’s what the women manage to uncover. There are too many suspects and not enough motive. Still, they dig … but the answers they seek are elusive.

There’s a killer running around northern Lower Michigan, and Ivy and Maddie are determined to find out who it is … even if they put themselves in danger to uncover the truth. Their husbands, however frustrated, stand back to watch the show.

They say truth is stranger than fiction, and in this case, that truth will cast a pall over multiple lives.

Buckle up and enjoy the ride because some friendships are destined to become legendary. This is one of them.

Rune of Secrets by Kelly N. Jane:

She craves vengeance. He requires justice. Fate demands both.

Without enchanted powers and struck with a curse, Princess Rowena could not prevent her family’s murder or save herself from the fallout.

Vulnerable but determined, she dares to conquer her enemies and free her people. But secret deals force her into a betrothal, tempting her into a bold decision that could cost her life.

Rowena has nothing left but to avenge her family before she dies. Until the most terrifying, yet hauntingly handsome fae arrives, demanding she follows her destiny.

Rowena has the power to lead her people or destroy them.

Kwelengsen Dawn by David M. Kelly:

When you lose everything you love, the whole world becomes the enemy.

After his planet was invaded by ruthless Corporate forces, engineer Logan Twofeathers is trapped on Earth by the authorities, who are more afraid of starting a war than helping their people. He may be safe, but many others are still missing.

When security tries to arrest him on trumped-up charges, he must find his own way to return to Kwelengsen. His only option is to seek out someone from his past–a borderline psychotic, who might just be crazy enough to help.

Now, he must draw on all his strength and resilience as he undertakes a precarious and violent journey into the unknown, with enemies lurking in every shadow. The outlook is bleak, and all he has is his grit and sense of honor. Will that be enough?

The battle is over. But the war is about to begin.

Daggers and Destiny by Ryver Knight:

A strange stone. A pursuit for power. A new beginning.

An orphan with no job, no home, and no last name, sixteen-year-old Mala scrapes along day by day with her younger brother, Baz, in their small village.

But when she discovers a mysterious stone, her whole world comes crashing down.

Suddenly, she faces massive adversity, a quest for bloody revenge, and a power so great she fears it.

Will she find peace amidst the chaos?

Or is her world fated to burn?

The Haunted Hotel Hoopla by Amanda M. Lee:

Charlie Rhodes is struggling. She thought finding her family would fix everything. It hasn’t, and the threat that’s cast a long shadow over her life is only getting larger. Still, when an opportunity arises to go to Savannah – one of her bucket list cities – she jumps at the chance.

Savannah was made famous by ghosts, but five missing women – and the return of only one body – seems to point to a different sort of culprit. Whatever is going on, it’s weird … and it’s only getting weirder.

Charlie’s mind keeps wandering to the friend she lost, who keeps haunting her dreams, but her determination never wavers. That’s why she hits the ground hot and hard … and the answers that start unspooling do so at a fantastic rate.

There’s just one problem: Whatever evil is haunting Savannah, it’s more than ghosts. Actually, there might be two problems, because the ghosts in Savannah are multiplying exponentially and nobody knows if it’s tied to the missing women.

Charlie has enemies coming out of the woodwork, although the big one is elusive. The answers she seeks are close, and they might just be provided by an unlikely source. It will take all of them working together, every faction in town, to beat back a terrific foe.

Don’t skip to the end in this one, because the ultimate twist is about to descend. Prepare yourself because it’s going to be a heckuva ride.

More Modern Mythmakers: 25 Interviews with Horror and Science Fiction Writers and Filmmakers by Michael McCarty

More Modern Mythmakers features Horror, Science Fiction and Dark Fantasy’s most influential writers and filmmakers interviewed about the art and craft of their genres.

The 25 interviews include:
Steve Alten, Reggie Bannister, Terry Brooks, Charles de Lint, Dennis Etchison, John Everson, Alan Dean Foster, Ray Garton, Sephera Giron, Owl Goingback, Charles Grant, Nancy Holder, Paul Kane, Ronald Kelly, Joe Lansdale, Bentley Little, Jeff Long, Jonathan Maberry, Elizabeth Massie, Larry Niven, William Stout, Jeff Strand, Harry Turtledove, J.N. Williamson, Connie Willis

Foreword by Gerard Houarner
Afterword by Jeffrey Thomas

If you’re interested in books on writing, the horror genre, science fiction, famous authors, or even becoming a full time author, this book is a must-have.

More Modern Mythmakers is the sequel to 2015’s Modern Mythmakers by Michael McCarty, published by Crystal Lake Publishing.

Proudly represented by Crystal Lake Publishing—Tales from the Darkest Depths.

An Unforgiving Desert by S.J. Pajonas:

A ship hijacked. An arrogant and handsome classmate. A relentless desert.

Skylar Kawabata is so close to having her Class Three pilot’s license, she can taste it. She’s worked two years in isolation to get to the final exam, and nothing is going to stop her now, not even Kalvin, the class pretty boy high flyer who can’t stop calling her Princess. She’s going to kill him if he calls her that one more time…

When their class ship is hijacked during the final exam, and Skylar and Kalvin are marooned in the desert, they’ll need more than patience and a supply of water to stay alive until rescue comes.

Will Skylar and Kalvin make it out of the unforgiving desert in one piece? Or will they kill each other before the desert kills them?

An Unforgiving Desert is the prequel novella to The Amagi science fiction romance series. If you like talented heroines, cocky, self-assured men, and a hot desert gamble, then you’ll devour S. J. Pajonas’s gutsy action-adventure. Be sure to read An Unexpected Debt after!

Shackles of Guilt by Kris Ruhler:

He’s the boy next door. She’s a princess. But when blood and war reach their doorstep, will they unite or be forever pushed apart?

Young and ambitious Earmon has climbed up the ladder in Levitor city to become the Queen’s topmost advisor. He seems to have everything he’s dreamt of but for one thing: Princess Zenithia’s love.

When he witnesses an intruder inside the city and decides to keep it quiet, he unwittingly unleashes a terrifying chain of events. His friend, Turak, has an episode that results in a fracture in Levitor’s shield, and the horde of Reavers prowling outside the city advances.

In a world of intrigue, blood, and war, Earmon must battle for survival against savages and beasts.

His hardest trial is yet to come, and he will have to face a choice no one should ever have to make: protect the life of the one he loves the most at the risk of losing his own.

In the end, will he be enough to save her and the city?

Stung by the Cobra by Aurora Springer:

Shan Zennia, Senior Curator of the Archives of Galactic Culture on Lumos, plays a dangerous double role as a researcher and a spy for Solarian Intelligence. She embarks on a new mission to observe the spring festival on Harappi, a planet recently conquered by the ambitious Emperor and now governed by his niece, Domina Allia.

Zennia finds unexpected mysteries on the planet, including the enigmatic Nagari. Once a victorious commander in the Emperor’s space fleet and nicknamed the Cobra, he was forced to abandon his military career when Allia claimed him as her consort. Her abusive treatment has driven him to the brink of madness.

Intrigued by the ex-commander and aware of his value as a source of information on the enemy, Zennia agrees to meet him during the festival of rebirth. Opposing forces clash at the height of the celebrations, catalyzing deadly violence. Can Nagari and Zennia survive the chaos and win a new and happier life?

Wilde Magic by Jenn Stark:

Off the grid and on the run since she was a teen, Sara Wilde has made a name for herself as an artifact hunter with an edge—finding the most magical treasures on the planet with the flip of a Tarot card.

But when she’s hired to steal a powerful fertility idol on the last night of Carnival, Sara discovers her rough-and-tumble skills are no match for the new, mysterious buyer she’s attracted. Rich, demanding, and sexy as sin, this Magician promises to be nothing but trouble. Yet, for what he’s willing to shell out for her services, Sara can afford the risk.

Or so she thinks.

As the danger—and the payoffs—mount, the power of Tarot leads Sara from the rollicking party of Rio de Janeiro to the grand historical cemeteries of Savannah, then on to the ostentatious museum halls of New York City. Meanwhile, the relentless Magician weaves an ever more seductive spell, hinting at a world she’s barely glimpsed.

To keep from getting burned by passion, power, or betrayal, Sara’s going to need some Wilde Magic.

The Ghostly Tower by A.F. Stewart:

Meet Heyward and Andersen, consulting detectives in a paranormal London you never imagined…

Elspeth Heyward has never met a puzzle she didn’t want to solve, or an adventure she didn’t relish. Taking Sherlock Homes as her benchmark, she is determined to be the best detective and monster hunter in London.

Lars Andersen’s ambitions aren’t nearly as demanding. He just wants to stay alive, out of trouble, and out of jail. But when your partner likes guns and dynamite, that could be a challenge. Can he survive his new employment?

The Case: Discover if a stone tower on their client’s estate is haunted. It should be straightforward, but ghosts aren’t all they find. When they dig up a body, they also unearth a murder and a tangle of secrets. Secrets they’d better unravel quickly before someone else dies.

Alien Pursuit by James David Victor:

They held off the initial alien assault but humanity is far from safe as the full force of the alien invasion is unleashed on mankind.

The initial attack by the Vhast alien armada was repulsed, in large part by the heroic deeds of the Tin Man. Unfortunately, the jump gate back to Earth was destroyed and it’s a long journey home for the small crew of the gigantic mining ship turned warship. They must get back to Earth to help save humanity, but an elite alien warship is determined to prevent that from happening. Can the crew of the Tin Man outsmart, and out fight, an elite alien warrior and return home or has the gigantic space mech met it’s match?

Alien Pursuit is the second book in the Tin Man Space Opera Adventure. If you like fast-paced sci-fi adventures, make Tin Man your next epic space adventure.

Download Alien Pursuit and see if the giant space mech known as Tin Man can save humanity!

Women of Wonder by Danielle Williams:

Looking for magic-wielding women with brave hearts, amazing abilities, and a sense of humor? You’ve come to the right place.

Danielle Williams, fantasy fan extraordinaire and author of the inimitable sci-fi epic Steel City, Veiled Kingdom, brings together three of her favorite heroines in this special value collection that’s sure to leave you smiling.

Women of Wonder contains the following stories:

The Capramancer Next Door – Down-to-earth mage Will Schafer has her hands full moving into a new house while keeping her mischievous herd of magical goats in line. Meeting handsome gardener Rickert Nash takes the sting out of moving…until his shadowy past comes roaring back to bite him in the butt. Now Will and the herd must step in to save their neighbor from getting mulched—but can a girl and her goats defeat a formidable hunter, or are they all about to buy the farm?

The Witching License – Mavis Burnsides is on her deathbed when her best friend brings her a Witching License. Now she’s got magical powers—and one last night to make up for a lifetime of regrets. By turns sassy and touching, The Witching License is a gentle tale of regret, romance, and righting wrongs.

Debuts and Dragons – Though she’s not much to look at, dragon Sellafield Terrormouth never worried about snagging a mate for herself. But now that her little sister is about to debut in dragon society, Sella’s got one night to go from drab to fab. If she fails, she’ll lose her entire dowry—and quite possibly doom herself to eternal spinsterhood! Can this plain dragon get herself a date, or is her future about to go up in flames?

Escape doesn’t have to cost big bucks!

Indie Crime Fiction of the Month for June 2022

Welcome to the latest edition of “Indie Crime Fiction of the Month”.

So what is “Indie Crime Fiction of the Month”? It’s a round-up of crime fiction by indie authors newly published this month, though some May books I missed the last time around snuck in as well. The books are arranged in alphabetical order by author. So far, most links only go to Amazon.com, though I may add other retailers for future editions.

Our new releases cover the broad spectrum of crime fiction. We have cozy mysteries, animal mysteries, historical mysteries, Jazz Age mysteries, paranormal mysteries, paranormal historical mysteries, crime thrillers, action thrillers, adventure thrillers, horror thrillers, detective novels, true crime, police officers, private investigators, FBI agents, amateur sleuths, bank robbers, serial killers, heists, missing girls, final girls, crime-busting witches, crime-busting socialites, crime-busting cats, crime-busting dogs, vigilante priests, murder and mayhem in London, New York City, the French Riviera, Savannah, Michigan, Florida, Hawaii and much more.

Don’t forget that Indie Crime Fiction of the Month is also crossposted to the Indie Crime Scene, a group blog which features new release spotlights, guest posts, interviews and link round-ups regarding all things crime fiction several times per week.

As always, I know the authors at least vaguely, but I haven’t read all of the books, so Caveat emptor.

And now on to the books without further ado:

The Final Women by Pardeep Aujla:

The mass murdering Phantom of Haven Cove is dead. For the one who killed him, however, life has never been the same.

How do you return to normality after facing such a monster? How do you live when consumed by guilt, anger, fear, and denial? How do you connect with others when no one understands what you’ve been through?

But there are others. Final Girls of their own Haven Cove massacres. And now, thirty years later, they must all face a new question…

What do you do when the killer returns?

The French for Murder by Verity Bright:

A grand villa, croissants for breakfast and a dead body in the wine cellar… Lady Swift can’t seem to take a vacation from murder!

Summer 1923. Lady Eleanor Swift is finally persuaded by her butler, Clifford, to take a villa in the south of France for the season. She plans to do what a glamorous lady abroad should: long lunches on the balcony followed by lazy afternoons lounging by the pool. Even Gladstone the bulldog is looking forward to a daily paddle in the ocean.

But when Clifford examines the wine cellar, he discovers there are no decent reds but there is a very dead body. The victim is famous American movie star Rex Armstrong. Poor Rex seems to have been stabbed with a sword from the film set. So how did he end up in Eleanor’s villa?

Before Eleanor even has time to change out of her travelling suit, her beloved butler is arrested for the crime. At sea without her right-hand man, Eleanor must gather her wits if she’s to outsmart a murderer and save Clifford.

Attending a glitzy party at the luxurious Hotel Azure with the film’s cast and crew so she can question her main suspects, Eleanor overhears the director having a most unsettling telephone call that throws all her theories out of the water. Can Eleanor unmask the true killer before her time abroad is cut murderously short?

The Curious Case of the Templeton-Swifts by Benjamin Brown:

A manor house full of secrets, a recluse who fears for his life, and four warring heirs out to claim their inheritance. There’s murder afoot in the country this summer.

England, 1926. When Lord Edgington receives a letter from Hugo Templeton-Swift, a famously rich magnate who believes he’s being poisoned, the renowned detective fetches his assistant, his golden retriever, and a full staff of servants and heads off to the countryside to investigate. But when the bodies start falling in the extraordinary estate of Riverside Keep, anyone could be guilty.

Though all fingers point to Hugo’s much younger wife, his three estranged children have their own reasons for wanting their father out of the picture, and even the servants are acting suspiciously. With the aid of his loyal grandson, Lord Edgington must pick through the mysterious manor in order to catch the killer and solve “The Curious Case of the Templeton-Swifts”.

Shadow of Evil by Beth Byers:

It turns out that Smith’s one-time lover has returned. She’s beautiful and talented. She has big eyes and a trembling lip, and she’s turned those on Smith. Who is, in fact, unmoved.

It is Beatrice who is drawn in, and she’s the one who agrees to the case. Bea’s support doesn’t change when his lover shows her true colors.

Instead, Beatrice dives in and pulls Smith—and Vi—after. Now they’ll have to work together to help the only other woman Smith might have loved.

Murder in the Gardens by Colette Clark:

You are cordially invited to the grand opening of the Japanese Tea Gardens on the rooftop of the Grand Opal Hotel…

New York 1925

To celebrate its official opening, the Grand Opal Hotel is hosting an exclusive party for the crème de la crème of New York society, to be held in its newly completed rooftop Japanese Tea Gardens.

Jiro Ishida, the gardens’ designer is l’homme du moment. Everyone is clamoring for his services to recreate the latest trend in garden aesthetic.

Which is why it’s a surprise when he turns up dead in the koi pond.

Once again, Penelope “Pen” Banks is on the case, if only to solve a murder the owner of the hotel and several of its wealthy guests would rather see buried beneath the bonsai trees.

Rook by Stephgen G. Eannou:

Rook is based on the true story of Al Nussbaum. To his unsuspecting wife, Lolly, Al is a loving, chess playing, family man. To J. Edgar Hoover, he is the most cunning fugitive alive. Al is the mastermind behind a string of east coast robberies that has stumped law enforcement. After his partner, one-eyed Bobby Wilcoxson, kills a bank guard and wounds a New York City patrolman, Al is identified as one of the robbers and lands on top of the FBI’s most wanted list. He is forced to flee his hometown of Buffalo, New York as the FBI closes in and Lolly learns of her husband’s secret life.

While Al assumes another identity and attempts to elude the police, Lolly is left alone to care for their infant daughter and adjust to her new life as ‘The Bank Robber’s Wife’. Friends, family, and federal agents all pressure Lolly to betray Al. While Lolly struggles at home financially, with unrelenting FBI agents, and her conscious, Al and Bobby continue to rob banks, even as Bobby grows more mentally unstable and dangerous.

Al has only two goals: avoid capture and steal enough money to start a new life with his family. Returning to gather his wife and baby is suicidal, but as Al said, he’d only stick his neck in the Buffalo noose for Lolly.

Ashes to Ashes by Rachel Ford:

A private eye and a vigilante priest face off to bring down a corrupt band of evildoers—by the book, or off the books. Her way, or his.

Years ago, Aubrey Blake joined the police force to make a difference. She almost lost everything in the pursuit of justice. Now she’s about to do it again.

Disillusioned with her former career, she makes a living as a private detective. A living, but not a life.

Then the killings start. The police are on it. But Blake can’t let it be. She can’t walk away. She’s not wired that way.

Then again, neither are the killers…

Die by the Sword by Rachel Ford:

‘I think they’re going to kill me…’

When Former Army intelligence analyst Owen Day gets a cryptic call from a man who used to be a brother to him, he drops everything without a second thought to head to the remote Montana wilderness.

He finds a web of lies and corruption waiting – and a bullet, with his name on it.

With no idea if his friend is still alive, no one left to trust, and a brutal storm moving in, Owen will need to act fast – or he’ll disappear too.

The Missing Girls by Elle Grey:

There are monsters among us.
They live in disguise, prowling in the shadows.
They commit unimaginable atrocities.
They target the innocent and the most vulnerable.
Regardless, the victims will eventually find peace and the evil-doers will forever be condemned to a fiery inferno…

To many that know her, FBI agent Blake Wilder is a pillar for truth and the dealer of justice.

When faced with threats and adversity, you can count on her to continue to fight for what is right. With her sister Kit clinging to life after being attacked, Blake and her team are called away to solve a case in North Dakota.

Teenage girls from prominent families are going missing and the local Sheriff is at a loss to understand who’s taking them—or why. As Blake and her team start investigating, they find themselves caught up in a power struggle between the town’s locals and a community of indigenous people.

But when the girls start turning up dead and the pressure to find the killer starts ramping up, Blake finds herself peeling back the layers of a monstrous series of murders. And the deeper they go down that rabbit hole, the more incomprehensible it gets.

As heroes are unmasked and they’re proven to be the monsters that lurk in the shadows hunting children, a small town is left horrified and shocked. It’s a case that will leave scars on everybody involved and will change them all.

Who is the monster behind the lost children?
And who is the culprit behind Kit’s attack?
Evil converges and the truth finds itself trying to escape its buried darkness to come into the light.

For a Few Witches More by Lily Harper Hart:

Casper Creek is a town in flux. Contractors are on the scene making plans for the new restaurant, owner Hannah Hickok is plotting ridiculous couple’s costumes for the Halloween party, and there’s a new demon in town.

Instead of coming after Hannah directly, the demon does an end-run around the witch and starts possessing the area children … and sending them into a frenzy. Through a fluke, Hannah manages to put an end to the first attack. Unfortunately, a wave of them are set to follow.

Hannah’s boyfriend Cooper Wyatt believes she can handle almost anything, but a threat against children puts her in a tough position … especially since the demon seems to be demanding something that’s impossible for Hannah to give him. He wants to be there for her, but this fight is one he’s not certain they can win.

Demons are nothing new for Hannah, but this one has a particular agenda, and nobody will survive if it comes to fruition. Because she has no other options, Hannah is forced to join forces with an enemy who can provide an exponential power boost. Will it be a mistake?

Hannah is determined to protect those she loves. This time, the foe might be too strong for her to defeat.

Wicked Graves by Lily Harper Hart:

Maddie Graves-Winters should be preparing for the biggest day of her life – she’s going to become a mother in three months after all – but that’s impossible without the right crib. That means an outing to nearby Shadow Lake with her husband Nick, which turns into a nightmare she wasn’t expecting when a local author is struck in the middle of the road and left for dead.

Ivy Morgan-Harker didn’t even know they had a famous author in town until she was already dead. When helping her husband Jack and his new partner search the dead woman’s house, she finds an entire wall of grievances, which seems to indicate the victim had more than one enemy.

When Maddie and Ivy cross paths, sparks fly … in a magical way. It isn’t long before the truth comes out and they join forces to solve a mystery.

Apparently, the author world is full of kooks, or at least that’s what the women manage to uncover. There are too many suspects and not enough motive. Still, they dig … but the answers they seek are elusive.

There’s a killer running around northern Lower Michigan, and Ivy and Maddie are determined to find out who it is … even if they put themselves in danger to uncover the truth. Their husbands, however frustrated, stand back to watch the show.

They say truth is stranger than fiction, and in this case, that truth will cast a pall over multiple lives.

Buckle up and enjoy the ride because some friendships are destined to become legendary. This is one of them.

Wrecks of Key Largo by Nicholas Harvey:

Hidden clues. Deadly wrecks. A ticking clock.

When AJ Bailey heads to the Florida Keys for a scuba diving conference, she’s looking forward to a relaxing trip. But when an old friend goes missing and his wife is in trouble, the holiday is over.

Amid a sea of threats and lies, AJ has 24 hours to find her friend and the mysterious package he took, before payback will be taken in lives.

With no idea where to start, and time running out, AJ soon discovers the answers may lie deep inside the infamous shipwrecks of Key Largo.

Book Twelve in this best-selling series dives into the waters of the Florida Keys with fast-paced, edge-of-your-seat suspense, and a guest appearance by the marvellous Emily Durand from Nick Sullivan’s ‘The Deep Series’.

The Haunted Hotel Hoopla by Amanda M. Lee:

Charlie Rhodes is struggling. She thought finding her family would fix everything. It hasn’t, and the threat that’s cast a long shadow over her life is only getting larger. Still, when an opportunity arises to go to Savannah – one of her bucket list cities – she jumps at the chance.

Savannah was made famous by ghosts, but five missing women – and the return of only one body – seems to point to a different sort of culprit. Whatever is going on, it’s weird … and it’s only getting weirder.

Charlie’s mind keeps wandering to the friend she lost, who keeps haunting her dreams, but her determination never wavers. That’s why she hits the ground hot and hard … and the answers that start unspooling do so at a fantastic rate.

There’s just one problem: Whatever evil is haunting Savannah, it’s more than ghosts. Actually, there might be two problems, because the ghosts in Savannah are multiplying exponentially and nobody knows if it’s tied to the missing women.

Charlie has enemies coming out of the woodwork, although the big one is elusive. The answers she seeks are close, and they might just be provided by an unlikely source. It will take all of them working together, every faction in town, to beat back a terrific foe.

Don’t skip to the end in this one, because the ultimate twist is about to descend. Prepare yourself because it’s going to be a heckuva ride.

Wired Target by Toby Neal:

What would you do if the crime you were hired to solve tugged at your heartstrings?

Private investigator Sophie’s latest case weighs heavy: someone has desecrated the nesting grounds of the majestic Laysan Albatross on Oahu, the murder of a generation of endangered birds—and the outrageous crime appears to be spreading to other islands. Sophie teams up with Sergeant Lei Texeira on Maui to search for killer whose brutal activities outrage the public.

Meanwhile, deadly assassin grandma Pim Wat continues to threaten the fragile peace Sophie is building with her family.

Will Sophie be able to find the answers she seeks in time?

You Better Run by Willow Rose:

When 19-year-old Meg Briggs wakes up after having a crazy party with her friends, she finds a girl in the pool.

Dead.

Who is this girl?

How did she end up in the pool?

Was she even at the party?

Even more strange is when they pull her out of the water, Meg realizes the girl looks very familiar. As a matter of fact, she looks just like her.

Like an identical twin.

But Meg has no twin, at least none that she knows of, and no one at the party knows this girl or can say where she is from.

What is Meg’s mom hiding from her?

FBI profiler Eva Rae Thomas is caught in distress at home with her children and between the two men in her life when she is asked to help out on the case.

Who killed Meg’s identical twin and why? And where did she come from?

As Eva Rae Thomas digs deeper into the story, she can barely believe the revealed secrets, secrets so cruel that someone is ready to go to great lengths to keep them hidden.

Purrfect Game by Nic Saint:

Game, Set and Murder

For some reason I find hard to understand, humans like to play a game called tennis. Basically it involves hitting a ball with something called a racket and inducing it to fly across a net. The person on the other side then proceeds to hit the ball back across that same net. And so on and so forth, ad infinitum. Or at least until someone strikes out, and the other person wins the set, or even the game, and eventually the match.

It’s all very complicated, and not all that interesting, not to say utterly boring, and so when Marge and Tex went on their annual tennis retreat with some of their friends from the tennis club, I mainly saw this as an opportunity to catch up on my naptime, which had suffered greatly since my humans had decided to produce a new human in the form of a baby. Unfortunately for them, before long a murder was committed, and suspicion fell on all those present—Marge and Tex included!

And then of course there was Gran acting strange—which isn’t all that exceptional, considering strange is that eccentric old lady’s middle name—and Harriet acting even stranger, with Brutus convinced she was having an affair. In other words: I had my work cut out for me, trying to unravel everyone’s secrets and their most blatant lies.

The Ghostly Tower by A.F. Stewart:

Meet Heyward and Andersen, consulting detectives in a paranormal London you never imagined…

Elspeth Heyward has never met a puzzle she didn’t want to solve, or an adventure she didn’t relish. Taking Sherlock Homes as her benchmark, she is determined to be the best detective and monster hunter in London.

Lars Andersen’s ambitions aren’t nearly as demanding. He just wants to stay alive, out of trouble, and out of jail. But when your partner likes guns and dynamite, that could be a challenge. Can he survive his new employment?

The Case: Discover if a stone tower on their client’s estate is haunted. It should be straightforward, but ghosts aren’t all they find. When they dig up a body, they also unearth a murder and a tangle of secrets. Secrets they’d better unravel quickly before someone else dies.

Savannah Savior by E.H. Vick:

HE HUNTS WOMEN. SHE HUNTS HIM.

FBI Agent Meredeth Connelly tracks The Savannah Strangler by day. At night, she mimics his prey. She has little to go on. He’s crafty and smart – he dumps bodies in the Savannah River after stoning his victims to death. But he won’t escape. She won’t let him. She will do anything to make Savannah safe again. She will do anything to stop him.

The dead pile up. Pressure, a hellish headache, desperate secrets. Heat, stiletto heels, fear. She won’t let anything stop her.

Not the detective who thinks she’s a drunk.
Not the good old boys club.
Not the mystery man cyberstalking her.

She will get the killer. One way or another.

Her pounding head is going to kill her – unless he gets to her first…

Obi-Wan Kenobi Deals with Sieges and Double-Crosses in Part V

Here are my thoughts on the fifth episode of the Disney Plus Obi-Wan Kenobi series. For my thoughts on previous episodes, go here.

Warning! Spoilers under the cut!

When we last left our favourite down and out Jedi Knight, he had just managed to save little Leia from the clutches of Third Sister a.k.a. Reva with the help of Tala and the Path, though at the cost of the life of a redshirt named Wade. However, Reva (I’m going with her birth name from now on, since Third Sister is a title and also quite long to type over and over again) added a tracker to Leia’s droid Lola, so the Empire knows exactly where the fugitives are headed.

However, the episode opens not with Obi-Wan, Leia and the surviving members of the Path on the run, but with a flashback to Coruscant around the time of Attack of the Clones, where Obi-Wan and Anakin are engaging in a practice duel. When it was announced that Hayden Christensen would return as Anakin/Darth Vader in Obi-Wan Kenobi, I assumed he would wear the Darth Vader suit. I certainly did not expect to see him as Anakin again, showing his face. And while Disney era Star Wars hasn’t been shy about using that creepy digital de-aging technology, it’s amazingly not used in this scene, which I for one liked a lot. Close-ups show that Hayden Christensen has of course aged in the almost twenty years since Revenge of the Sith, both he and Ewan McGregor do a good job playing their younger selves.

The flashbacks to the practice duel are interspersed with the main storyline, but they’re short enough that they do not get annoying, unlike the endless bacta-tank induced flashbacks in The Book of Boba Fett. Basically, the practice duel goes like you’d expect. Anakin is hot-headed and presses Obi-Wan and even seems poised to win at times, but Obi-Wan still has an ace up his sleeve and there is a reason he is a Jedi Master and Anakin is still a padawan at this point.

Anakin, who’s the one having the flashbacks, snaps back to the present where he’s on the bridge of his Star Destroyer, pursuing Obi-Wan, Leia and the Path thanks to the tracker Reva planted on Leia’s droid. Reva is there as well and Darth Vader promotes her to Grand Inquisitor for her success, as promised.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan, Leia, Tala as well as The Path members Roken and Sully land on Jabiim, which turns out to be a rocky red and orange world of little use for anything except hiding fugitives (though according to James Whitbrook at io9, Jabiim looked quite different, when it appeared in a Star Wars comic in the early 2000s). Come to think of it, the Star Wars universe has more inhospitable than hospitable planet or at any rate, we see more inhospitable worlds than hospitable ones. It’s definitely in keeping with the fact that the Star Wars universe is a terrible place for most of the people who live in it, regardless of who is in charge.

On Jabiim, they are met by a group of Force sensitives, most of them children with parents and grandparents, hoping to be flown to safety. The cargo loader droid from Mapuzo as well as Haja Estree are there as well. He survived his encounter with Reva on Daiyu, but is now on the Empire’s Most Wanted list, so his little fake Jedi racket is gone. Haja doesn’t seem to mind though, now he’s met a real Jedi. And even though Haja started out as a con artist, he genuinely did help people. Talking of which, the woman with a Force sensitive son Haja was meeting, when Obi-Wan found him is on Jabiim as well. Apparently, her son will grow up to become the main character in Michael Stackpole’s Rogue Squadron Expanded Universe novels, which is a nice Easter Egg.

Roken tells Obi-Wan that he can’t take Leia directly to Alderaan, but that he will fly out Obi-Wan and Leia along with the rest of the refugees. Like the safehouse on Mapuzo from episode 3, the walls of the hideout on Jabiim are covered with graffiti carved into the walls, which is full of Easter eggs and references to characters from the cartoons and Expanded Universe media. There’s also a box with discarded lightsabres and Jedi robes.

However, the respite is short-lived, for the Empire in the form of Darth Vader and Reva aboard a Star Destroyer is bearing down on the hideout on Jabiim. And in order to make sure that the Force sensitives can’t escape before the Empire gets there, Reva orders the droid Lola to sabotage the sliding cargo bay doors, making it impossible for Roken to launch his ship. The fugitives are stuck.

Obi-Wan gives a stirring speech, telling the Fugitives that they only need to hold off the Empire until the bay doors are fixed, then they can all escape on Roken’s transport vessel. Stirring speeches are more of a Star Trek (where holding stirring speeches is the basic qualification for a Starfleet captain) than a Star Wars thing, but it works well here, since it shows that Obi-Wan is increasingly turning back into the man he once was, the Jedi Master and Clone Wars General.

Fixing the cargo bay doors has its own share of problems, since it requires crawling into a very small space. Roken and Haja are arguing that both of them are too big to fit in, when Leia says, “I’ll do it.” Roken won’t hear anything about it, but Obi-Wan tells him to let Leia try. He also tells Haja to keep an eye on her and goes to organise the defence. And so the siege of Jabiim begins.

Obi-Wan is distracted when his holo-communicator beeps and finds a message from Bail Organa who is worried that he hasn’t heard from Obi-Wan and declares that he will go to Tatooine to help Owen and Beru protect Luke, since the Empire will be coming after him next. We’re sure Owen Lars will be thrilled to welcome an Imperial senator to his humble moisture farm, especially considering he was trying to keep a low profile. Never mind that even if Bail is half-frantic with fear for his daughter, sending this message and given both the name of the planet as well as the target is incredibly stupid and will of course come back to bite him and everybody else in the arse.

Tala tells Obi-Wan about the experience that turned her against the Empire. She was sent to round-up some people who were not paying taxes. But those people turned out to be not tax evaders, but families with Force-sensitive members. They were all killed and Tala could do nothing, which is why she turned against the Empire and started working for the Path. She also shows Obi-Wan the notches on her blaster that symbolise the people she saved.

Coincidentally, the fact that the Empire is actively hunting Force sensitive children also provides another reason for why Owen Lars is so determined to keep Luke on the farm and away from Jedi or other troublemakers and doesn’t want him to go to the Academy either. After all, Owen knows that Luke is Force sensitive. If Owen had allowed Luke to go to the Academy, it’s very likely that he would have been found out and killed.

Once the Empire arrives on Jabiim, we get a nice Leni Riefenstahl inspired shot of Reva marching along rows of lined up Stormtroopers, which is somewhat marred by the fact that one Stormtrooper is standing out of line. If Vader rather than the very single-minded Reva had been the one to march along that row of Stormtrooper, the one fellow who stands out of line might well have found himself Force-choked.

Since the doors to the hideout are closed, the Stormtroopers bring in some heavy weaponry to blast them open. Once the doors can’t hold much longer, Obi-Wan declares that he’ll talk to Reva to stall her. So Obi-Wan and Reva talk through the barricaded door and we finally get Reva’s backstory.

Obi-Wan realises that there is no way Reva would know that Darth Vader’s real name is Anakin Skywalker, unless she knew him before.  Initially, I suspected that the reason Reva knew Darth Vader was Anakin was because they were having a clandestine relationship and Anakin told her during a session of pillow talk. However, in Disney era Star Wars no one is allowed to have sex, let alone a romantic relationship ever.

Instead, the reason Reva knows that Anakin is Vader is because she was one of the young padawans who got slaughtered by Anakin on the night of Order 66, which also explains why the series opens with a flashback to that terrible night. Only that Reva was not slaughtered. She survived by playing dead, buried under a pile of bodies slowly growing cold. Once Obi-Wan realises all this, he also realises that Reva is not in fact serving Vader or trying to impress him. She’s hunting him, trying to avenge her murdered friends. And she’ll do anything to achieve that goal. It’s a neat, if not entirely unexpected twist, as Daily Dot reviewer Gavia Baker-Whitelaw points out, and should shut up the Reva haters. Though knowing toxic fanboys, they’ll find another reason to complain that a black woman managed to invade their all-white-boy fantasy Star Wars universe.

Obi-Wan offers Reva an alliance – work together to stop Vader. However, Reva will have none of that. She’s not a team player anyway and she doesn’t trust Obi-Wan. After all, Anakin was his padawan and Obi-Wan failed to see what was happening to him. Besides, Reva also doesn’t trust Obi-Wan to actually kill Anakin, if he has the chance. Worse, she’s probably right. After all, Obi-Wan did not kill Anakin on Mustafar (which would not have prevented the rise of the Empire, but would have prevented the birth of Darth Vader and all the crimes he personally committed) and it’s questionable if he would do so now.

Which brings me to my main problem with the Obi-Wan Kenobi series, namely the lack of tension. We know that no matter what she does, Reva won’t kill Darth Vader and neither will Obi-Wan, because he won’t die until Return of the Jedi. We also know Obi-Wan won’t die, because he dies in A New Hope. We also know that Luke and Leia, Owen and Beru Lars or Bail and Breha Organa won’t die here, because we know what will happen to them and where and when they’ll die. Of course, we have no idea what will happen to the characters we haven’t seen before, characters like Reva, Tala or Roken. And the show does try to milk some tension out of this, with mixed success.

Reva’s and Obi-Wan’s heart to heart is cut short, when Reva decides there’s been enough talking and uses her lightsabre to cut through the barricaded door. Reva and the Stormtroopers storm the base and there is a pitched close quarters blaster fight. Obi-Wan uses his lightsabre to deflect blaster shots, but even he can only do so much. Several of the refugees and Path members are wounded, including the mother whom Haja Estree helped escpae Daiyu.

Tala takes a shot in the abdomen and her mute cargo loader droid (apparently his name is NED-B) shields her with his own body, taking a lot of damage in turn. Obi-Wan wants to rescue Tala, but the mortally wounded Tala pulls a detonator out of her pocket and blows up herself, NED-B and a bunch of Stormtroopers, heroically sacrificing herself for the Rebellion the Path.

The deaths of Tala and NED-B affected me more than I expected, considering we haven’t seen all that much of either of them. I also certainly would have liked to see more of Tala (and NED-B), maybe in the upcoming Cassian Andor series, which should be set a few years after Obi-Wan Kenobi. io9 reviewer Germain Lussier is also sad to see Tala go so early.

Though come to think of it, like her former Torchwood co-star Burn Gorman (who should be a much bigger star than he is, because he’s a fantastic actor, but not conventionally handsome), Indira Varma rarely survives till the end of the movie/TV show. Indira Varma dies in Torchwood (twice actually, since she comes back after the first time), Luther, Game of Thrones and now in Obi-Wan Kenobi, though she did survive a guest role on an episode of Bones. Burn Gorman dies in Torchwood (twice – what was it with that show and killing off the best actors? They also killed off Gareth David-Lloyd, another actor who never had the career he deserved), Game of Thrones, The Expanse, Forever (where he plays an immortal, so I thought they can’t possibly kill him and then they do) and Enola Holmes, though amazingly, he does survive both Pacific Rim movies as well as narrowly an episode of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (where he first caught my eye). Though a show killing off Indira Varma isn’t a dealbreaker for me, whereas killing off Burn Gorman usually is. At any rate, I stopped watching Torchwood, The Expanse and Game of Thrones around the time they killed Burn Gorman. And when he was still alive at the end of Pacific Rim (both movies) I audibly cheered.

Obi-Wan and the other refugees fall back into the inner docking bay, but the Stormtroopers are still trying to get in and Leia still hasn’t managed to repair the bay doors. So Obi-Wan comes up with the brilliant plan to surrender to the Empire to give the others time to escape. He also gives Haja Estress his lightsabre, blaster and the communicator via which he can reach Bail Organa. Haja and the other surviving Path members are not at all happy about Obi-Wan’s plan, probably because – as Tor.com reviewer Emmet Asher-Perrin points out – it’s not much of a plan at all. Of course, Obi-Wan knows Anakin and knows how impatient and consumed by the desire to win he is. Indeed, this is the moment where we get the last part of the flashback to that long ago duel, where Anakin had already disarmed Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan won anyway – even sans lightsabre. Of course, there always is the chance that Anakin has matured and grown more patient since that long ago duel. On the other hand, it’s Anakin we’re talking about here and he never really changes.

So Obi-Wan surrenders to Reva and whispers to her that he is bringing Anakin to her, as she slaps him in handcuffs. But instead of waiting for Darth Vader to finally land on Jabiim (and what’s taking him so long anyway?), with Obi-Wan under strong guard and constantly in sight, Reva sends him back into the antechamber of the cargo bay with only two Stormtroopers to guard him, even though Reva of all people should know how dangerous Obi-Wan can be. So of course the inevitable happens: Obi-Wan easily takes out the two Stormtroopers (we know Stormtroopers are not particularly smart) and escapes.

Now this would have made some kind of sense if Obi-Wan and Reva were working together to bring down Darth Vader, but Reva explicitly wants nothing to do with Obi-Wan and will not collaborate with him. Which makes the whole thing even more puzzling, because sending the extremely dangerous Jedi Knight inside with only two guards is the sort of mistake that would make me roll my eyes, if Skeletor or Hordak were to do it in an episode of a He-Man or She-Ra cartoon.  It’s not that I expect meticulously plotted heists and escape plans from Star Wars – that’s not what you watch it for.  But I expect a plan that is more thought out than an evil genius plan from a kids’ cartoon. And frankly, even Skeletor, Hordak, Dr. Claw, Ming the Merciless, the Purple Pie Man, Gargamel, Pinky and the Brain and their ilk do have better plans at least part of the time.

Meanwhile, Leia is still struggling to figure out which of the many, many cables she needs to reattach to fix the cargo bay doors, when she suddenly finds Lola inside the same duct. “What are you doing here?” Leia asks and realises that Lola’s eyes are glowing an evil red. Leia also notes that there’s something on Lola that doesn’t belong there, Reva’s tracker, and removes it, so Lola promptly becomes her friendly, helpful self again and even shows Leia which cable to reattach. The cargo bay doors finally open and everybody rushes to board the ship. In the rush, Haja Estree drops Obi-Wan’s communicator, the one with a message from Bail Organa, which will tell the bad guys exactly where to find the other kid who’s vitally important to the fate of the galaxy. Oops.

The cargo bay doors open just as Darth Vader finally lands on Jabiim. The camera follows Vader as he struts throught the base on Jabiim in a sequence that is very similar to Vader strutting through the Rebel base on Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back. Guardian reviewer Andy Welch points out that every episode of Obi-Wan Kenobi so far has mirrored the Star Wars movie with the same episode number, i.e. episode 1 mirrored The Phantom Menace, episode 2 was Attack of the Clones, episode 3 was Revenge of the Sith, episode 4 was A New Hope, which would make episode 5 The Empire Strikes Back. There’s a lot of merit to this theories and the parallels are really notable, particularly in this and the previous episodes.

Like the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back, the transporter with the fugitives lifts off just as Darth Vader struts into the docking bay. Vader raises his hand… not to rage but to grab the transport with the Force in order to keep it from taking off. He succeeds, too, and manages to pull the transport back into the docking bay and rip it apart in a display of Force powers that’s stronger than anything we’ve ever seen in Star Wars before. This is truly Darth Vader at the height of his powers.

However, Vader still hasn’t learned the lesson Obi-Wan tried to teach him during that pivotal duel so long ago and so a second transporter launches, just as Vader is busily ripping apart the first. The first transporter was just a decoy and Vader no longer has enough Force juice to stop his real quarry. Though, as Emmet Asher-Perrin points out, there is still a Star Destroyer waiting in orbit and Roken’s old transport is no match for it.

However, first we get the great showdown between Darth Vader and Reva, which mirrors that long ago duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin in another way. For here, the hot-headed Reva is in the Anakin role (and Reva is a lot like Anakin in many ways, a parallel also pointed out by AV-Club reviewer Manuel Betancourt), while Darth Vader takes the prescient and patient Obi-Wan part. For not only did Darth Vader know all along what Reva was up to, but left her pursue her goals, because she was useful, he also faces her unarmed and still beats her by taking her own lightsabre from her and running her through with it. The outcome is not unexpected – after all, we knew that Reva would not kill Darth Vader, because he survives until Return of the Jedi – but it’s still a blow.

To twist the knife – or lightsabre – even further, the Grand Inquisitor, supposedly killed by Reva with a lightsabre to the abdomen in part II, shows up again as well to take back his badge and tell Reva that they’ll leave her where they found her, in the gutter. I guess certain people who were very upset that the Grand Inquisitor dies here, even though he is alive in the animated Star Wars: Rebels show, will be pleased now. Though personally, I wonder how it comes that no one dies from lightsabre wounds anymore, a point also made by Emmet Asher-Perrin. Because the Grand Inquisitor just survived a lightsabre through the abdomen, while Darth Maul survived getting cut in half by Obi-Wan in The Phantom Menace, only to reappear in Solo. And – surprised – Reva is not dead either. She crawls across the floor of the docking bay, only to find something gleaming in the dust. It’s the communicator Haja Estree dropped. Reva activates it and receives Bail Organa’s message, which tells her exactly where to go next and who to look for.

The episode ends with a shot of little Luke lying peaceful in his bed and dreaming of grand adventures, while the dark clouds of the Empire gather above.

All in all, this was a good episode with plenty of twists, some of them not entirely unexpected (it was clear that Reva was hiding something) and some genuinely surprising such as a decoy transporter. It was also nice seeing Hayden Christensen sans mask once again, especially since Christensen got a lot of crap for the many problems with the prequels, though very little of it was his fault.

However, my biggest problem here is that the plot only works, because everybody – Obi-Wan, Reva, Bail, Darth Vader – behaves like a complete and utter idiot. I mean, honestly, if your plans make the likes of Hordak and Skeletor look smart by comparison, you have a problem. This episode was the textbooki example of an idiot plot.

Now I don’t expect intricately plotted heists and rescue plans from Star Wars, because the franchise has always relied on coincidences and improvised on-the-spot plans, which somehow work out. But while I’m willing to suspend my disbelief a lot – see the (excellent) Mandalorian episode “The Believer”, whose premise makes very little sense – Obi-Wan Kenobi really stretches my suspension of disbelief past the breaking point.

Crappy plans thrown together on the spot may be a Star Wars trope, but if your plan wouldn’t pass muster in a Saturday morning cartoon aimed at kids, maybe it needs to go back to the drawing board.