Cora Buhlert's Blog, page 101
January 3, 2016
First Snow of the New Year 2016
After an exceptionally mild December, we are currently experiencing a cold spell. And last night, it did not just get cold, it also began to snow. Over the day, the snowfall only increased.
I would have loved to go hiking in the snowy woods, but I didn’t have the time for that today. Though I did forego watching the umpteenth rerun of NCIS to take a walk around the neighbourhood this evening.
I also took some photos of the first snow of the year and here they are:
A somewhat moody early morning shot of the neighbour house with lit windows.
The same view as above, only by daylight and after more snowfall.
A look out across the snowy yard and back garden. Note the snowdrifts formed by the heavy wind.
Else, a department store mannequin I bought at a going out of business sale a few years ago, is looking pensively out at the snow.
A shiny star ornament in the window with the snow seen behind it outside.
Black hellebore a.k.a. Christmas rose in full bloom. This was taken on New Year’s Day before the snow came.
And another shot of the black hellebore plant in full bloom.
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December 31, 2015
New Year’s Night 2015/2016
2016 is approximately five hours old where I am, so a Happy New Year to all readers and followers of this blog.
As always, WordPress/Jetpack offer a yearly report and the 2015 report for this blog may be found here. I do notice that I have been less active than in previous years due to a combination of being very busy and preferring to spend whatever time is left over on writing fiction rather than blogging.
Meanwhile, we had a lovely, if quiet New Year’s Eve. Like the past few years, we had dinner at Ristorante Romantica, a great Italian restaurant in Brinkum, North Germany. You can see the menu in the following photos:
Starter: A mixed antipasto platter.
Second course: Fetuccine with pesto and parmesan
Main course: Roast lamb with potatoes and Mediterranean vegetables.
And finally, a cup of hot chocolate with cream.
I also posted the photos live on my Instagram feed, to the amusement of my family (“What is this?” “What are these other photos?” “Why did you take a photo of that?”). I would have livetweeted the pics as well, except that I had exceeded my smartphone data budget for December, so my provider put me in the slow lane. Instagram still works, tweeting photos doesn’t.
We were home at around eleven PM and switched on the TV to watch the great party at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin for the final hour or so. At least, the Berlin party still took place, unlike the New Year’s Eve paties in Munich and Brussels.
Meanwhile, in her New Year’s address, Angela Merkel thanked both volunteers and professionals for helping the refugees who have come to Germany. This is actually the first time that a politician has ever addressed me and thanked me for my work, albeit indirectly. A pleasant change from e.g. Merkel’s predecessor Gerhard Schröder, who infamously called teachers “faule Säcke” (lazy sacks). I particularly liked the fact that Merkel did not forget the many professionals working to give refugees a new home, since so far politicians have only thanked the volunteers. Not to discount the great work that volunteers are doing, but administrative personnel, doctors, nurses, police officers, teachers, etc… are also doing great work and it shouldn’t be discounted, just because they are paid for it. Angela Merkel’s speech is very good in general, so why don’t you just watch it?
There was a time where I’d have been stunned to even manage to watch a New Year’s address all the way through, because they were usually boring blather. Though I did see Helmut Kohl’s infamous mixed up 1986 New Year’s address (a technician got the tapes mixed up and the TV station broadcast the previous year’s address) live on TV and even remember saying to my parents and their friends, with whom they were celebrating, “Hey, did you hear that? That idiot just wished us a good 1986. He’s so stupid he doesn’t even know what year it is.” None of the others had even caught it, since no one was listening.
Now Helmut Kohl had something of a reputation as clumsy and a little thick in the first term of his reign, so everybody assumed the 1986 bit was a slip of the tongue. And of course, it’s telling how very samey those speeches were that no one (except Mr. Kohl himself who was reportedly furious) realised that they were broadcasting the wrong speech, until Kohl got the year wrong. Even the background and the suit look the same, only the tie was slightly different.
Back to 2016: At midnight, we had champagne and then went outside for the fireworks. We had a package of rockets and a fountain/battery type thing with sixty shots. Fireworks batteries are getting increasingly popular and they look lovely as well. Total 2015 fireworks budget: approx. 15 Euros.
It was somewhat foggy, not to mention smoky from the fireworks, but nonetheless, I managed to get a few good shots:
The fireworks battery launches a shot into the sky.
Another rocket launches, this time in green. Note the smoke trails from previous shots.
Another shot launches, this time purple and rather phallic.
Finally, sparkle stars.
A rocket captured in the second of its explosion.
Another shot that came out really well.
This is probably my best fireworks shot for this year. The multiple explosions are due to (someone else’s) fireworks battery.
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December 30, 2015
Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month for December 2015
It’s that time of the month again, time for “Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month”.
So what is “Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month”? It’s a round-up of speculative fiction by indie authors newly published this month, though some November books I missed the last time around snuck in as well. The books are arranged in alphabetical order by author. So far, most links only go to Amazon.com, though I may add other retailers for future editions.
Once again, we have new releases covering the whole broad spectrum of speculative fiction. We have space opera, military science fiction, paranormal romance, epic fantasy, urban fantasy, weird westerns, Steampunk, cyberpunk, post-apocalyptic science fiction, fairy tales, werewolves, dragons, aliens, empaths, ice maidens, doomed knights, demon hunters, transgender time travellers, black magic outlaws, monkey queens, spaceships next door, Wild West mummies, South East Asian steampunk and much more.
Don’t forget that Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month is also crossposted to the Speculative Fiction Showcase, a group blog run by Jessica Rydill and myself, which features new release spotlights, guest posts, interviews and link round-ups regarding all things speculative fiction several times per week.
As always, I know the authors at least vaguely, but I haven’t read all of the books, so Caveat emptor.
And now on to the books without further ado:
If it weren’t for his Digital Life Assurance, Toronto Police Detective Finsbury Gage would be dead—smeared across the highway by a crazed man in a stolen urban assault vehicle. Finsbury hung together long enough for the recovery team to arrive. His wife wasn’t so lucky.
Now, six months later, his mind restored to a prosthetic brain, wrapped in a healthy new body, and technically immortal, Finsbury is back to a life that no longer exists. He’s all alone, his home a shrine to everything he lost. He’s been reassigned, knocked from Homicide to busting bit-heads and chasing after lost minutes of the idle rich. And his thoughts connect directly to the internet.
The only thing keeping Finsbury from blowing his plastic brains out is the memory of his wife’s death. It’s 2.57 seconds long and plays on repeat, every time he closes his eyes. But from within this loop of pain and grief he discovers a reason to go on—the haunting glimpse of the wild-eyed man responsible for his wife’s death.
Finsbury’s gonna find this guy, no matter what he has to do.
But Finsbury isn’t the only one on the hunt. Something is coming for him. Something like the world has never seen. Something that will force Finsbury Gage to abandon everything he believes—everything he is—to survive.
The Winter Knight is sent out to execute the Ice Maiden who has already killed countless men. So far, none of those sent to bring the Maiden to justice have ever returned. But the Knight is confident that he will succeed where they failed, for he is protected by powerful magic.
When the Winter Knight finally reaches the castle of the Ice Maiden, she is strangely calm in the face of death and does not even try to resist. But has the Winter Knight truly succeeded where so many before him have failed or does the Ice Maiden still have a trick or two up her sleeve?
This is a dark and wintery fairytale of 4700 words or approximately 16 print pages altogether.
“I want to be a hero. Like the Monkey Queen.”
Michiko Koyama, the hero known as the Monkey Queen, and her partner in adventure Beth McGill are happily adjusting to finally being more than friends. But Beth has made a new friend, student and fellow geek girl Abigail Main-Drake, and Michiko is trying very hard not to be jealous.
Meanwhile, a rise in assaults by ogres is putting Emigre communities in danger. A hero has risen to help defend them, the swashbuckling sorceress who calls herself Redblade. Michiko is thrilled to have a new ally, but Beth is feeling left out, unneeded.
But what Michiko and Beth don’t know is that Abby is Redblade. And that secret, and the magic sword Abby carries, could spell doom for the Monkey Queen.
Join the adventure with Michiko and Beth in this fifth book in the Monkey Queen series, written with new readers in mind! Fantasy with heroines, humor and heart!
The Spaceship Next Door by Gene Doucette:
The world changed on a Tuesday.
When a spaceship landed in an open field in the quiet mill town of Sorrow Falls, Massachusetts, everyone realized humankind was not alone in the universe. With that realization, everyone freaked out for a little while.
Or, almost everyone. The residents of Sorrow Falls took the news pretty well. This could have been due to a certain local quality of unflappability, or it could have been that in three years, the ship did exactly nothing other than sit quietly in that field, and nobody understood the full extent of this nothing the ship was doing better than the people who lived right next door.
Sixteen-year old Annie Collins is one of the ship’s closest neighbors. Once upon a time she took every last theory about the ship seriously, whether it was advanced by an adult ,or by a peer. Surely one of the theories would be proven true eventually—if not several of them—the very minute the ship decided to do something. Annie is starting to think this will never happen.
One late August morning, a little over three years since the ship landed, Edgar Somerville arrived in town. Ed’s a government operative posing as a journalist, which is obvious to Annie—and pretty much everyone else he meets—almost immediately. He has a lot of questions that need answers, because he thinks everyone is wrong: the ship is doing something, and he needs Annie’s help to figure out what that is.
Annie is a good choice for tour guide. She already knows everyone in town and when Ed’s theory is proven correct—something is apocalyptically wrong in Sorrow Falls—she’s a pretty good person to have around.
As a matter of fact, Annie Collins might be the most important person on the planet. She just doesn’t know it.
Twiceborn Endgame by Marina Finlayson:
Half human, half dragon, all vengeance.
No one said being half dragon would be easy, but Kate O’Connor’s life has gone completely off the rails. She thought she’d won the succession war between the daughters of the dragon queen, until a shocking betrayal changed everything.
Now seven new sisters have joined the fray, a sinister government taskforce is gunning for her, and the Japanese queen has hit town, bent on snatching the throne for herself. Worst of all, her beloved son has been abducted.
The shifter world has never seen a proving like this one, but then, there’s never been a dragon quite like Kate before. She’ll need her human ingenuity as well as her dragon magic to save her son and everyone she holds dear. The final moves in the deadly endgame take her from goblin caves to Japanese palaces as she races against the clock to snatch victory from the dragon jaws of defeat.
Twiceborn Endgame is the third book in the urban fantasy trilogy The Proving.
I’m Cisco Suarez: necromancer, shadow charmer, black magic outlaw. Sounds kinda cool, doesn’t it? It was, right until I woke up half dead in a dumpster.
Did I say half dead? Because I meant 100% dead. Full on. I don’t do things halfway.
So here I am, alive for some reason, just another sunny day in Miami. It’s a perfect paradise, except I’m into something bad. Wanted by police, drenched in the stink of dark magic, nether creatures coming out of the woodwork, and don’t get me started on the Haitian voodoo gang. Trust me, it’s all fun and games until there’s a zombie pit bull on your tail.
I’m Cisco Suarez: necromancer, shadow charmer, black magic outlaw, and totally screwed.
The Bizarre Half-Life of John Fortune by James Gideon:
John Fortune is a street kid made good. Thanks to a genius for maths and physics, he carves out a successful career in interstellar engineering. But there’s something not quite right about John. Something not quite human. His one true friend, Frank Patterson, is sure he knows the secret. Frank can’t afford to be wrong. Mankind’s survival depends on it.
This 10,000 word short SF story/novella is perfect for fans of Ray Bradbury and Mike Resnick.
Omega Baggage by Eileen Glass:
Liam doesn’t have a plan, but he’s got the basics covered. As far as food, shelter, and clothing are concerned, he does right by his omega. But still the smaller wolf flinches from him, never speaks. And every mild suggestion is obeyed to the letter. Something’s not right, he knows that, but maybe it’s for the best.
Skye wouldn’t stay if he learned the truth.
Baggage is a novella of about 26,000 words.
The Sea is Ours: Tales from Steampunk South East Asia, edited by Jaymee Goh and Joyce Chng:
Steampunk takes on Southeast Asia in this anthology
The stories in this collection merge technological wonder with the everyday. Children upgrade their fighting spiders with armor, and toymakers create punchcard-driven marionettes. Large fish lumber across the skies, while boat people find a new home on the edge of a different dimension. Technology and tradition meld as the people adapt to the changing forces of their world. The Sea Is Ours is an exciting new anthology that features stories infused with the spirits of Southeast Asia’s diverse peoples, legends, and geography.
Mission Improbable by J.J. Green:
In the deepest reaches of the galaxy there are places and beings that aren’t impossible, just very, very improbable.
Carrie Hatchett is a low-achieving daydreamer, and the last person on Earth who should be resolving disputes for the Transgalactic Council. After providing a good home for her butt-ugly dog and psychotic cat, her biggest challenge in life is to avoid being fired, again.
But a strange green mist sucks her beneath her kitchen sink, and an unusual clerical error leads to an offer she foolishly doesn’t refuse.
In settling a conflict between the mechanical placktoids and the mysterious oootoon, Carrie reveals a threat to the entire galaxy.
Mission Improbable is Book One in the light-hearted, fast-paced Carrie Hatchett Space Adventures series.
Flowers in a Dumpster by Max Allan Gunnells:
Seventeen Tales to Frighten and Enlighten
The world is full of beauty and mystery. In these 17 tales, Gunnells will take you on a journey through landscapes of light and darkness, rapture and agony, hope and fear.
A post-apocalyptic landscape where it is safer to forget who you once were… An unusual support group comprised of cities dying of a common illness… A porn star that has opened himself up to demonic forces… Two men battling each other to the death who discover they have much in common… A woman whose masochistic tendencies may be her boyfriend’s ruin… A writer whose new friendship proves a danger to his marriage and his sanity.
Let Gunnells guide you through these landscapes where magnificence and decay co-exist side by side.
The Fredorian Destiny by Adair Hart:
The timeline is wrong. This is discovered when Dr. Albert Snowden and his niece, Emily, travel with Evaran to a galactic cultural exhibition event on Kreagus, the capital home world of the Kreagan Star Empire and galactic superpower near Earth. The Fredorians should be presenting an ancient artifact, known as the Arkaron, to the Kreagan emperor. The problem is they aren’t. Evaran has decided to step in and help the Fredorians achieve their destiny while stabilizing the timeline.
They must find the three lost Arkaron crystals in order to assemble the Arkaron. To make matters worse, Seeros, a powerful industrialist, has a bounty on their heads, causing bounty hunters to harass them each step of the way.
As if that weren’t enough, an unknown faction is hiring freelance mercenaries to hunt them down as well. Evaran is joined by others, and together, they will have to navigate these perils to assemble the Arkaron and achieve the Fredorian destiny.
Collin is in high school when he is visited by a time traveler – a woman who claims to be his wife in a hypothetical future… only the timeline has been disrupted, and the two will never meet unless he makes four key choices in his life that will guide them together again.
“Choosing You” is a short story in a conversational, first-person voice, about what happens when deciding to love someone becomes a literal choice. It’s 7300 words long and features a transgender protagonist.
House of the Healer by Jim Johnson:
The Scales Are Out of Balance
After surviving a brutal cultist attack on her village, Ruia led the other survivors to the safety of Fort Sekhmet with the help of Tjety, a Ranger of Mayat. With Tjety’s life now hanging in the balance, can Ruia gather enough help and learn to use her newfound hekau magic to heal Tjety before the forces of darkness close in and snuff out all hope?
House of the Healer is the third episode in PISTOLS AND PYRAMIDS, a monthly series best described as an ancient Egyptian-themed weird western with magic. And mummies. Lots of mummies.
Tara is “The Fourth”.
She woke up inside of a cylinder in an underground chamber with no memories. She is told that the world has been devastated by war, disease and mutations. Humankind had evacuated Earth and fled to hundreds of different worlds far away. A quarantine was declared, but this did not prevent pirates and slavers from raiding the villages of the remnant left behind.
Tara feels strangely compelled to “fix” Earth, knowing this could take decades and generations. She is “The Fourth”.
Greyson was born and raised as the only child of a high government official on the world called Roma, which modelled itself after the Roman Empire. The women of Roma are created artificially and have no rights. Thus, Roma is a pariah among civilized worlds.
As a young man Greyson is framed for a crime and his own father exiled him from his home world.
Tara wants to find out what it means to be “The Fourth” and to bring Earth back from the dead. Greyson wants to go home and clear his name. Their paths are destined to cross.
Chaos in the Starless Nights by J. Alex McCarthy:
Time is relative.
For one person, time flies by at a rapid pace. In a blink, hundreds of years pass. A life begins and ends, a million-year-old traitor returns to the place he once betrayed, an eyeless assassin questions his mission as he takes an innocent life.
In a flicker, an omnipotent leader’s rule crumbles beneath his feet, a treacherous woman revels in her plans as they come together to bring down those around her.
In a single second, four paths cross. As each story ends, the next begins in A Universe Without Stars.
Of One Skein, Part 1 by P.J. Post:
This romance brought to you by the end of the world…
Emily.
Samantha.
Cam.
Lost children.
Treachery.
Biological weapons.
Hostages.
The Cart People.
and…
A puppy.
Forgiveness has never been so far away.
This is episode 3 of Feral, an ongoing serialized story.
Snowberry Blossom by Missy Sheldrake:
Follow the knight Azaeli and her best friend Rian the Mage on a quick adventure to seek the Snowberry Blossom, a bloom that holds magic only if picked at midnight on Midwinter’s Eve.
Grab a cup of cider and sit back to read this tale of romance, adventure, and fantasy told Mya, Bard of His Majesty’s Elite of Cerion.
This short story takes place in between Call of Sunteri, book 2 and book 3 of the Keepers of the Wellsprings series, but there are no spoilers and it reads as a stand-alone tale.
Pete might always know when people are lying, but that doesn’t make him a good judge of character. Will he ever find a man who wants to keep him?
Pete’s the kind of guy who gets on people’s nerves. He can’t sit still. He talks too much. He doesn’t know when to shut up. And he always knows when people are lying.
While his talent wasn’t strong enough to get an empath rating from the ESRB, he now has a second chance with the new testing system they’re using. If he makes it, he’ll have some well-paying job offers from people who actually appreciate his gifts.
Maybe this time things will work out. Maybe his life will finally take a turn for the better. With some hot guys in it, too.
The Prime Rift by Veronica Sicoe:
Taryn has risked everything to free the first human colony from the tyranny of the TMC. With the help of her mind-linked ally, the alien warlord Amharr, she has finally succeeded.
Now Taryn must free the other colonies too, before the Ascendancy’s world-crushing ships reach human space.
But when she needs him most, Taryn must let Amharr go, or their Link will kill him. The others who stood by her side have seemingly turned against her. And the sadistic TMC General Hurst, who craves the power of Taryn’s Link, is now hunting her down.
With time running out, Taryn is about to face her greatest challenge yet, and she must do so alone.
Grand Master’s Mate by Aurora Springer:
Young empath, Violet Hunter, and her crafty Grand Master, Athanor Griffin, tackle the villains threatening civilization.
Their worst enemy, the Red Queen, rampages across the galaxy evading capture, while blocked portals restrict normal commerce among planets. Compounding their problems, half the Grand Masters on the Council fear Violet is the agent of their doom as her father foretold, and vow to eliminate her. To restore peace, Violet and Athanor embark on a hazardous quest for a weapon hidden by the ancient psychic masters on one of four planets. But, the weapon proves elusive, dangers lurk in the ancient sites, and new alliances forged with bizarre entities may not be sufficient to foil their enemies and save the galaxy.
Reminiscent of science fiction stories by Frank Herbert and Andre Norton, this rollercoaster adventure offers weird characters and deadly horrors balanced by lighthearted moments. Grand Master’s Mate is Book 3 of the Grand Master’s Trilogy.
Echoes of a World Gone by Elliott Webber:
After finding a mysterious radio signal, Luke and his sister, Ada, journey through the deadly environment of the post-apocalyptic desert, risking everything for a chance of a better life.
Luna Masterton sees demons.
She has been dealing with the demonic all her life, so when her brother gets tangled up with a demon named Sparkles, ‘Luna the Lunatic’ rolls in on her motorcycle to save the day.
Armed with the ability to harm demons, her scathing sarcasm, and a hefty chip on her shoulder, Luna gathers the most unusual of allies, teaming up with a green-eyed heroin addict and a snarky demon ‘of some import.’
After all, outcasts of a feather should stick together…even until the end.
This is volume one in The Bone Angel Trilogy by Mercedes M. Yardley,
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December 26, 2015
Christmas 2015 (with Photos)
Christmas 2015 is officially over, though the fact that December 27 is a Sunday sort of makes it an unofficial fourth Christmas day.
I spent Christmas at my parents’, as usual, eating food, decorating and gazing at the tree and watching TV. Pacific Rim was on tonight, which my Mom has never seen before, but thoroughly enjoyed. Though it was interesting that I had to explain what kaiju are and what mecha are and how they work to her. For those of us steeped in genre lore, it is easy to forget that mainstream viewers, even those who like SFF films, aren’t necessarily familiar with kaiju and mecha. Though I know that my Mom has seen kaiju films before and she very likely watched anime featuring mecha with me (definitely Neon Genesis Evangelion). But I guess it didn’t quite register with her.
BTW, rewatching Pacific Rim I was struck by how it is very much a Japanese movie made by a Mexican director with mostly British actors. It’s also a movie that is NOT about either the US or Europe to a degree that is rare in western cinema. Yes, there are scenes in Alaska and San Francisco, but most of the action takes place elsewhere and Europe doesn’t figure at all. Plus, you see kaiju attacks on cities like Manila, Cabo or Lima that are usually completely ignored by the destruction orgies of contemporary Hollywood summer spectaculars. I guess the fact that Pacific Rim is an effect-laden summer spectacular that is NOT your typical US-centric blockbuster is also why the planned sequel never got under way.
What is more, I finally persuaded my parents to replace our aging 37-year-old fairy lights for which you can’t get replacement bulbs anymore with LED lights. Or rather, I bought two strings of LED lights, put them on the table and said, “Look, I got us new Christmas lights.” The new LED lights look great on the tree BTW, since they have a lot more lights (120 per string compared to 35 for the fairy lights) and make the various ornaments sparkle. My parents like them, too. They still insist on having a few real beeswax candles on the tree, though.
Talking of which, the research I did for Alfred and Bertha’s holiday adventure, The Tinsel-Free Christmas Tree, bore unexpected fruit when I realised that some of the oldest ornaments in our collection, which my parents bought as newly-weds some 50 years ago, are actually made from the tin/lead foil called Stanniol that was also used to make tinsel (which I didn’t put up this year and ours is Mylar anyway). The texture and look are completely different from Mylar and other modern materials, for starters. Not that I have a problem with that. The older ornaments are products of their time and besides Stanniol is not dangerous unless you eat it or casually discard it.
Our Christmas was pretty quiet this year, since my uncle – who usually visits on Christmas Day or Boxing Day – elected to spend the holiday elsewhere this year and decided to inform us of this fact only two days before.
My parents are seriously pissed about this. I’m not sure how I feel about this except being annoyed about the not so subtle censure in my uncle’s behaviour that my Dad and I don’t spend enough time on my uncle and wheelchair-bound aunt, that we don’t visit often enough and don’t jump whenever my uncle has a problem. Never mind that my Dad and I both work, whereas the relatives who visit my aunt every week are retired and also live closer to my aunt’s care home, which is bloody difficult to access, because you can’t park there, which makes every visit an expedition of several hours (and I like my aunt). It’s also telling that nobody minds that the other two nephews visit very rarely. Apparently, married guys with children and jobs outside the home are allowed to have lives, whereas single women without children and with jobs which only take them outside the home part of the time apparently aren’t allowed to have a life. Though I suspect that my aunt and uncle no more get what I do than they get what the other two nephews do. Plus, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten a good dose of xenophobia, if I had dared to mention that I’m working with refugees now.
On a more general note, my extended family has sort of disintegrated in these past few years, partly due to death and illness and partly due to my (and to a lesser degree my Dad’s) refusal to put up with the bullshit of certain relatives anymore. I’m basically down to one aunt and two cousins now and a couple of more removed relatives (second and third cousins, etc…) now. I should probably feel more guilty about this than I do, especially since there is some subtle blaming cum gaslighting going on. I also probably shouldn’t blog about this, but I don’t care.
Meanwhile, we had an unexpected visitor for Christmas Eve, since my parents’ neighbour, who’s a nurse, had her shift rescheduled on short notice and found herself all alone on Christmas Eve, so we invited her over.
In other news, I’ve had a nice Christmas present, since my newly released German language lesbian holiday romance Heiligabend im Café zum Lila Kakadu is not just selling really well, it has also hit No. 1 in the lesbian fiction category at Amazon DE. Something about that story really seems to strike a chord with readers, since it sells well in both English and German. I guess I’m not the only one who has to deal with family problems on Christmas.
Finally, here are some photos of our Christmas tree, ornaments, presents, etc…
Our Christmas tree in its fully lit glory.
And here is a moody, if blurry smartphone shot of the fully lit tree.
A close-up look at the tree with various angel ornaments and lit beeswax candles. I’m particularly fond of the two angels made from woodshavings.
Another close-up look at the tree with my collection of cartoon inspired ornaments, a dwarf riding a shooting star and a beautiful rhinestone studded golden heart.
Christmas tree close-up, the third. Most of the glittery ornaments in the upper part of the tree are made from Stanniol, the above-mentioned tin-lead foil.
My parents and neighbour Rosi.
Rosi and my Mom.
My Dad unwraps presents, while my Mom looks on.
My Mom unwraps presents while my Dad sleeps.
My Dad is very pleased about his brand-new tool set.
Wrapped presents (my Dad’s)
Wrapped presents (my Mom’s)
Wrapped presents (mine)
Unwrapped presents (my Dad’s) with a pair of socks serving as a censor bar. The stapler is from me BTW, because I was fed up with my Dad’s ancient and hard to use stapler.
Unwrapped presents (my Mom’s)
Unwrapped presents (mine). Lots of books and a Star Wars t-shirt.
Talking of Star Wars, here are Finn, Poe and Rey exploring my parents’ living room cabinet. And no, those are neither moons nor death stars.
Finally, here is Else, the department store mannequin I bought at a going-out-of-business sale several years ago, in full holiday get-up looking pensively out of the window.
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December 22, 2015
Two new Christmas stories available – Zwei neue Weihnachtsgeschichten erhältlich
As promised, here are the last two new story announcements for 2015. And as befits the season, both are announcements for Christmas stories, one in German and one in English.
Let’s start with the English language story.
Bertha and Alfred, those two crazy kids of the twenty-first century, are back along with the world’s most obnoxious omniscient narrator. This time around, Bertha and Alfred prepare the celebrate Christmas, twenty-first century style. There is bad athropology and wall to wall Latin, there is roast Anser anser domesticus and a sustained debate over the merits of Picea abies versus Abies nordamanniana, there is an argument about how to decorate the Christmas tree as well as the persistent question whether Ricky Hoppenstedt will manage to destroy the world.
As always, Bertha and Alfred’s adventures are described in best bad hard SF style complete with lots of info-dumps, clunky overexplanations, wall to wall Latin, gender dynamics straight from the 1950s and bonus bad anthropology and history (But who cares? Those are the soft sciences).
So enjoy:
The Tinsel-Free Christmas Tree
Bertha and Alfred, married for twenty years, enjoy a truly science fictional life in the twenty-first century. But in spite of all the technological marvels surrounding them, an argument about how to decorate the Christmas tree escalates and threatens their marriage.
This parodistic piece is a mundane short story of 2900 words or approximately 12 print pages, written in the style of science fiction’s “golden age” of the 1940s and 1950s.
More information.
Length: 2800 words
List price: 0.99 USD, EUR or GBP
Buy it at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Germany, Amazon France, Amazon Netherlands, Amazon Spain, Amazon Italy, Amazon Canada, Amazon Australia, Amazon Brazil, Amazon Japan, Amazon India, Amazon Mexico, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes, Scribd, Oyster, Smashwords, Inktera, txtr, Thalia, Weltbild, Hugendubel, Buecher.de, Libiro, Nook UK, DriveThruFiction, OmniLit/AllRomance e-books, Casa del Libro, Flipkart, e-Sentral, 24symbols and XinXii.
My second story is one that will already be familiar to regular readers of this blog as last year’s sweet lesbian Christmas romance Christmas Eve at the Purple Owl Café.
Now the story is available in German and has already hit a subgenre bestseller list at Amazon DE.
***
Reguläre Leser dieses Blogs kennen wahrscheinlich noch Christmas Eve at the Purple Owl Café, meine weihnachtliche lesbische Liebesgeschichte vom letzten Jahr.
Jetzt gibt es die Geschichte auch auf Deutsch unter dem Titel Heiligabend im Café zum Lila Kakadu und sie hat sogar schon einige Unter-Bestsellerlisten bei Amazon DE erobert. Falls sich jemand über die Namensänderung wundert, der Grund ist, dass eine echte Bremer Musikkneipe als Vorbild für das Café diente.
Heiligabend im Café zum Lila Kakadu
Nach einem heftigen Streit mit ihren Eltern über unerträgliche Verwandte findet Katie sich an den Feiertagen ganz alleine wieder. Also macht sie sich auf zu dem einen Ort in der Stadt, wo am Heiligabend jeder willkommen ist, dem legendären Heiligabend im Café zum Lila Kakadu.
Das Heiligabend im Café zum Lila Kakadu hat eine bewegte sechzigjährige Vergangenheit. Heutzutage ist es aber nicht nur ein Ort, wo man gute Musik and nette Leute finden kann, es ist zufälligerweise auch eine Lesbenbar.
Katie ist das egal, außerdem war sie bisher sowieso immer viel zu beschäftigt mit Studium und Karriere für romantische Beziehungen irgendwelcher Art. Aber denn trifft Katie die unkonventionelle Jess auf der Weihnachtsparty im Heiligabend im Café zum Lila Kakadu…
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Länge: 5000 Worte
Preis: 0,99 EUR, USD oder GBP
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Diese Geschichte gibt es auch auf Englisch.
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December 21, 2015
A Colony of Groots and the Quest for Star Wars Toys
I didn’t have school today, but I went out anyway to run some errands and do some grocery shopping for the holidays. This wasn’t the main pre-holiday grocery haul – that’s on Wednesday. But I was glad to get some purchases out of the way.
I also stopped at the bank to get some money. Now the bank is directly adjacent to the cemetery of Brinkum (you can take a virtual stroll across the cemetery in this YouTube video – apparently, virtual cemetery strolls are a thing) to the point that the bank parking lot is always full whenever there is a funeral.
While walking back across the parking lot of the bank to my car, I chanced to look across to the cemetery and noticed something I’ve never noticed before, namely that the willow trees growing near the cemetery boundaries looked rather familiar.
“Say?”, I said to my companion, “Don’t they look like Groot?”
We agreed that the willow trees indeed bore an uncanny resemblance to Groot. So I snapped a photo. Take a look for yourself:
A colony of Groots has invaded the cemetery of Brinkum.
Most of my errands today involved banks, grocery shopping and other practical things. But I also took the opportunity to stop at the Werder Karree mall, which I know has a pretty good toystore, to look for Star Wars action figures, because I wanted some figures of the new Force Awakens characters. I’d already looked at a big box grocery store, but their selection of Star Wars toys was limited to a handful of Stormtroopers, Kylo Ren and some figures of characters from the prequels and the original trilogy (which I already own, if I ever wanted them). Oh yes, and Star Wars branded alcohol-free champagne, which must rank pretty high on the list of the most absurd Star Wars tie-in products.
The action figure selection at the toy store was somewhat better, though The Force Awakens toys still seem to sell out faster than they can ship them. Plus, the Star Wars section of the “boys aisle” (oh, how I hate the gendering of toys) looked like the aftermath of a First Order attack. Still, I got lucky and found Finn and a nice Poe Dameron figures sans helmet. And Stormtroopers and Kylo Ren, of course. Lots of Stormtroopers and Kylo Rens. Alas, no Rey and no BB-8. And isn’t it telling that even though Star Wars toys are still labelled as “boys’ toys”, the figure that’s hardest to find is the lone female figure? Okay, maybe not the lone female figure, since there’s also Captain Phasma, who coincidentally was sold out as well. Still, I snapped up Poe and Finn and decided that I’d pick up Rey and BB-8 later.
On the groundfloor of the same mall, there is a Rossmann drugstore. Now I don’t normally shop at Rossmann, but I needed some cosmetic items and I just happened to have a “10% off everything” Rossmann coupon. So I went to the store, picked up my purchases and made my way to the cash register. Since I don’t normally shop there, I’m unfamiliar with the layout of Rossmann stores and so I ended up in the toy aisle.
I spotted the familiar Star Wars logo and thought, “It’s a long shot, but why the hell not?” Rossmann‘s selection of Star Wars toys was much smaller than the one at the toystore, but they did have a few action figures. Lots of Stormtroopers and two Kylo Rens and – lo and behold – a lone Rey figure. Of course, I snapped her up and I also got her cheaper because of the 10% off coupon. Still no BB-8, but I’ll find one.
At home, I set up my brand new Force Awakens action figures on the table to show them off to my parents who were coming over for coffee and Christmas cookies. And here they are:
Finn, Poe and Rey look ready to take on the First Order – or maybe just to attack a plate of Christmas cookies.
In the top left corner, you can see my laser projection clock, which looks uncannily like a laser cannon from this angle.
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December 20, 2015
New Fantasy Story Available: Kiss of Ice
I’ve said before that I’d have a couple of promo posts and new book announcements coming up in the run-up to Christmas and here is the second of them.
This announcement is for Kiss of Ice, a dark and wintery fairy tale. At any rate, it’s quite dark for a fairy tale by American standards, for when compared to the original undisneyfied Grimm’s fairy tales or Hnas Christian Andersen’s, it does not seem all that dark.
Kiss of Ice is what we call a “Kunstmärchen” in German, i.e. a story written in the style of a fairy tale that can be attributed to a specific author. For example, Hans Christian Andersen and Wilhelm Hauff were both authors of “Kunstmärchen”.
The counterpart of the “Kunstmärchen” is the “Volkmärchen”, i.e. the fairy tale that is a genuine folktale not attributable to any specific author. The fairy tales collected by the Brothers Grimm, Charles Perrault or Ludwig Bechstein fall into this category.
For some reason, the English speaking world does not make the distinction between “Kunstmärchen” und “Volksmärchen”, to the point that there is no equivalent word to “Kunstmärchen”. I have no idea why this distinction does not exist in the English speaking world, since it is so immensely useful.
Anyway, here is the story:
Kiss of Ice
The Winter Knight is sent out to execute the Ice Maiden who has already killed countless men. So far, none of those sent to bring the Maiden to justice have ever returned. But the Knight is confident that he will succeed where they failed, for he is protected by powerful magic.
When the Winter Knight finally reaches the castle of the Ice Maiden, she is strangely calm in the face of death and does not even try to resist. But has the Winter Knight truly succeeded where so many before him have failed or does the Ice Maiden still have a trick or two up her sleeve?
More information.
Length: 4700 words
List price: 0.99 USD, EUR or GBP
Buy it at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Germany, Amazon France, Amazon Netherlands, Amazon Spain, Amazon Italy, Amazon Canada, Amazon Australia, Amazon Brazil, Amazon Japan, Amazon India, Amazon Mexico, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes, Scribd, Oyster, Smashwords, Inktera, txtr, Thalia, Weltbild, Hugendubel, Buecher.de, Libiro, Nook UK, DriveThruFiction, OmniLit/AllRomance e-books, Casa del Libro, Flipkart, e-Sentral, 24symbols and XinXii.
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December 19, 2015
Great Christmas short films that are actually German supermarket ads
One thing I’ve noticed is that German TV advertising has gotten a lot better in recent years. Gone are the days of Herr Kaiser, Clementine and – the supreme horror of them all – Frau Sommer. The sexist coffee ads with the insufferable know-it-all neighbour Frau Sommer were so awful that I still refuse to buy the brand in question (even though it’s actually a local Bremen brand) thirty years later.
What’s even more striking is that some of the best TV ads currently running in Germany are ads for supermarket chains of all things. Now supermarket ads (provided the chains even bothered to run ads, which a lot of them didn’t) used to be tame, silly and bastions of sexism along with washing powder and coffee ads.
Things have gotten a lot better in recent years and particularly the supermarket ads have improved by leaps and bounds. And this holiday season, several German supermarket chains have created Christmas ads that are mini movies in themselves with a full plot.
So let’s take a look:
I’ll start with my absolutely favourite spot, courtesy of Kaufland. It’s a Star Wars themed Christmas ad, complete with a budding geek romance.
I love this spot so much, because it not just shows that girls are Star Wars fans, too, but also that boys can actually appreciate the romantic elements of the movies.
The supermarket chain Edeka has a completely different approach with this touching Christmas ad that even has a message beyond “Buy more stuff”. The ad caused quite a stir and passed way beyond the German borders, as the massive viewing figures indicate:
This animated ad of the mail-order company turned online store Otto tells the story of an aged postman making sure that one little boy’s Christmas wish is fulfilled, albeit thirty years late.
The Christmas ad of the discount supermarket chain Penny chronicles that thirty-year odyssey of a lost nutcracker.
Coincidentally, I had a nutcracker just like that one. A “friend” of mine killed it by stuffing sticky candy into its mouth. What is it with violence against nutcrackers by bullying kids?
The chain REWE also runs an ad about a boy and his best friend, in this case a snowman:
Another Christmas ad about a kid, in this case a little girl, and her best friend, courtesy of the department store chain Galeria Kaufhof:
I totally want Hugo, the plushie elf. Should have checked if Kaufhof is selling them.
And the little girl’s dad looks eerily like Mark Ruffalo.
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A new Helen Shepherd Mystery available: Mightier than the Sword
I had my last day of class for the year this Thursday. My students were actually disappointed that there won’t be any class until January, which is certainly a first. But that’s the difference between adults who actually want to learn (and who can’t work due to legal restrictions) and kids/teenagers who often have more exciting things to do.
The run-up to the holidays is always a rush, so the next few days will be devoted to book announcements. Besides, I haven’t yet seen The Force Awakens and won’t until after the holidays. BTW, releasing The Force Awakens, after all one of the most anticipated movies of the year, so close to the holidays tells you a lot about who Disney/Lucasfilm think the target audience is, namely kids, teens and unattached young men. Cause if you have a family and/or if you have a job caught in the end of the year rush, you won’t have time to go to the movies now. This applies doubly if you’re a woman.
And now to the announcements. First of all, I took part in an SF Signal Mind Meld together with a lot of other awesome writers and other SFF people, where I talk about what makes the perfect SFF short story. I name a lot of stories, both old and new. I’ll probably do a “These are things I enjoyed this year” post about novels, movies, TV shows, short fiction, etc… sometime between the years.
I’m also pleased to announce a new distribution channel for our books, namely the e-book subscription service 24symbols. Okay, so for some reason, they seem to think I’m male, but I’m still always happy about new distribution channels. Plus, this offsets the loss of Oyster, which will close down in January, because Google bought off their entire staff.
Besides, I have a new Helen Shepherd Mystery available, the ninth in the series so far (and number 10 is coming soon). This time, Helen tackles what appears to be the politically motivated murder of a controversial cartoonist, together with the handsome Chief Inspector Simon Westmoreland of the Counter Terrorism Command. There is also jerk chicken. And Blue Mountain coffee.
So here it is:
Mightier than the Sword
When cartoonist Charlie Ellis is stabbed to death in his studio, everybody suspects a political motive. For his controversial cartoons had placed Charlie Ellis in the crosshairs two years before.
But Detective Inspector Helen Shepherd is sceptical. For why did Charlie Ellis not even try to defend himself and why did he open to door to his own killer? How did the killer manage to sneak past the police guard at the door in the first place? And what is the connection between Charlie Ellis and the other fourteen men in the Greater London area who happen to share his rather common name?
With the help of Simon Westmoreland, a handsome chief inspector from the Counter Terrorism Command, Helen finally manages to shed some light on the murder of Charlie Ellis.
More information.
Length: 12200 words
List price: 2.99 USD, EUR or GBP
Buy it at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Germany, Amazon France, Amazon Netherlands, Amazon Spain, Amazon Italy, Amazon Canada, Amazon Australia, Amazon Brazil, Amazon Japan, Amazon India, Amazon Mexico, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes, Scribd, Oyster, Smashwords, Inktera, txtr, Thalia, Weltbild, Hugendubel, Buecher.de, Libiro, Nook UK, DriveThruFiction, OmniLit/AllRomance e-books, Casa del Libro, Flipkart, e-Sentral, 24symbols and XinXii.
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December 15, 2015
Seasonal Views of Bremen 2015
Yesterday, I didn’t have school, so I took the chance to go to Bremen and take a stroll over the Christmas market.
And since I was in Bremen already, I had lunch at the Übersee Restaurant, their lunch special of the week which was a pepper parmesan soup followed by deer goulash served with red cabbage and potato dumplings. I’m not normally a fan of meat heavy classic German food of the sort you can get at country inns, but I make an exception for venison, since I have something of a weakness for it.
I also used the chance to buy some spices (there is a great spice stand at the Christmas market) and pick up a couple of books. I also found some interesting new Romanhefte at the central station bookstore, including the revival of Butler Parker, a mystery series about a crime-solving butler which originally ran from 1953 to 1992, and the revival of the horror series Geister-Krimi, which originally ran from 1973 to 1981. I’m happy to see this vintage Romanheft series make a comeback, especially since the mystery/crime genre has all but died out in Romanheft form with the notably exception of Jerry Cotton.
Coincidentally, while looking up the publisher links for the Romanhefte I just mentioned, I also chanced to notice that Meine Schuld (My Fault), a True Confessions type magazine published by the same company, is sold out. I suspect this is linked to comedian Jan Böhmermann occasionally holding up issues of the magazine in his program Neo Magazin Royale.
Finally, I also took some photos of Bremen all decked out in seasonal splendour, so here they are:
Bremen Central Station with Christmas lights and mini Christmas market.
These huge wreath are suspended from the roof of the entrance hall of Bremen Central Station. In the background, you can see parts of the Brinkmann mosaic, a colourful 1950s ad for the Brinkmann tobacco company.
The full Brinkmann mosaic can be seen in this photo BTW. It’s huge and almost impossible to capture in its entirety.
A look down the festively decorated Obernstraße, the main shopping street with the St. Petri Dom in the background. The fairy-light covered building on the left is Karstadt’s department store.
Bremen’s Renaissance townhall, an Unesco world heritage site, with the Christmas market in the foreground.
Another view across the main Christmas market with the townhall, part of the former Bremer Bank building, a statue of Otto von Bismarck, the Romanesque St. Petri Dom and the 1960s building of the Bremen city parliament in the background.
The St. Petri Dom seen from the other side with a look across the Domshof (churchyard) square. There are more Christmas market stands here, including the beautifully illuminated Happy Sailor carousel.
The Roland statue, which depicts Frankish knight Roland, hero of the Chanson de Roland, overlooks the Christmas market. The statue, dating from 1404, is the symbol of Bremen’s independence. It’s huge – the statue alone is more than five meters tall. The head is a replica, the original is in a museum.
It’s not a proper Christmas market without a giant Christmas tree and this example is particularly gorgeous.
A historical carousel forms the centrepiece of Bremen’s Christmas market. In the background, you can see the townhall again.
A particularly beautiful stand selling sweets.
This beautifully decorated stand sells Christmas ornaments. In the background, you can see the church of Our Lady, which is currently undergoing renovations.
Wooden candle-lot Christmas pyramids are a traditional holiday decoration in Germany. This oversized example adorns the Christmas market.
The Elchbar not just offers mulled wine and other alcoholic beverages, it also has an animatronic moose singing Christmas songs.
An alpine themed mulled wine stand, complete with deer and mountain goats.
Bremen’s main Christmas market is in the city centre, but there is a secondary market that on the Schlachte, a boulevard that along the river Weser. Here, a boar watches over a stand that sells venison sausage.
A lot of the stands at the Schlachte market are maritime themed. Here, a sharknado has deposited a great white shark on the roof of a fish roll stand. Worse, the shark has just eaten Rudolph.
The Schlachte market also includes a pirate village. Here, a pirate is taking a well deserved nap after a long day of pillaging and plundering.
Another pirate is climbing the trees along the river.
Birdhouses and Christmas trees line the Schlachte. On the other side of the river, you can see the Weserburg art museum and the headquarters of Mondelez International.
This illuminated chandelier behind the Kontorhaus mall is one of the more interesting Christmas decorations in the city.
A look down Sögestraße, Bremen’s other main shopping street. Note how the swineherd statue (Söge means swine in Low German, since the swine were once driven to market through this road) is echoed in the Christmas lights.
The other end of the Sögestraße with festive illuminations. On the left, there is Karstadt’s department store. The angel holding a halo on the building on the right is not a Christmas decoration BTW, but a regular part of the building, which once housed the jewelery shop Brinkmann und Lange.
The shopping mall Lloydpassage, built in the 1980s, with festive illuminations.
This beautiful Rococo building houses the Café Stecker, a Bremen institution since 1908. On the right, you can see the statue of Mother Cordes and her donkey Anton, a vegetable vendor and well known Bremen original.
The story of Mother Cordes as well as a better look at the statue may be found here. I’m a big fan of statues commemorating ordinary people, therefore I’m pleased that Mother Cordes is not the only Bremen original to be honoured with a statue. Heini Holtenbeen (Heini with the wooden leg), a disabled beggar, has also got his own statue. There were also initiatives to get other Bremen originals such as the fish vendor known as the Aal-Onkel (eel uncle) and two elderly sisters who used to sell flowers at the flower market honoured with statues, but so far they haven’t come to fruition. I still remember the flower vendor sisters from my childhood, while my mother remembers the Aal-Onkel making his rounds through the office buildings of the city in the late 1950s/early 1960s.
Finally, a rare sight: The big top of the Circus Roncalli is being disassembled on the Bürgerweide parking lot.
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