Marian Allen's Blog, page 470

Sample Sunday – Four Murders for the Price of One

Ah, the life of a writer! If you get mad at somebody, you can kill that person. And you can repeat that pleasure as often as you like.

 

COURTING DISASTER

by Marian Allen

As I leave the courthouse, I hear my freshly ex snarl at his shark of a lawyer: "You did a crap job."

"You're a crap client."

They climb into their sportscars and jockey for position, neck and neck on the one-way out of town.

Wonder which will be first to lose a wheel from the barely-there lug nuts my Bobby loosened during the hearing.

 

LEARNING CURVE

by Marian Allen

I read this Stephen King book where this creepy guy's wife shoves him down a dry well, but he climbs up and comes after her.

That's why I suggested we bring a picnic and a heavy blanket. I can wait right here — all night, if I have to — and I got a friend called Mr. Two-by-Four that says what comes up must go down.

Grandpa was right — You read, you learn something.

 

MR. FIXIT

by Marian Allen

I say to my client, "So your wife won't follow your orders. Talks back."

"Yeah. To me, that means she doesn't love me. It hurts real bad."

"And you want me to make this pain go away."

"Yeah."

"Got the fee? Cash?"

He puts it on the table.

He's now pain-free. He cried when I shot him, but now he's pain-free.

 

TOO LITTLE AND TOO LATE

by Marian Allen

AFTER I shot him

AFTER he shot me

AFTER he died

AFTER I knew I was a goner

THEN I asked myself whether he really said what Deedee told me he said about me.

 

WRITING PROMPT: Who does your main character fantasize about doing away with?

MA

Antiques on the Square

No, shut up, I'm not talking about myself. An antique car club (the cars are antique, not the club nor the members) are touring the area and they came to the Friday Night band concert last night. The Moonlight Big Band played those cornball big-band oldies.

Here are a couple of pictures of some of the cars parked around the Square.

 

 

And here are a couple of pictures of the concert venue and crowd.

 

A fine time was had by all.

I ate hot dogs.

Fine time.

WRITING PROMPT: Whatever time and place a person is in, chances are there is music, and chances are there has been music for a long time. What does the music sound like in your work-in-progress' or in your own place and time? What did it sound like when your main character or you were young? Before the character's or your time?

MA

Friday Recommends 6-3-2011

Got some goodies for you today.

First, petenew.com BLOG, which is written by its readers. "We are what we think. A place for writers, readers, and lovers of good food." Just register and contribute–poetry, short fiction, recipe, short essay, whatever. It is full of win.

Multiculturalism For Steampunk combines two subjects dear to my heart: multiculturalism and…. Anybody? … Now let's not always see the same hands. … That's right, Steampunk. This site is so packed with directions for a basic concept to go off in, it nearly breaks my brain. LOVE IT!

You gotta Kindle? (I don't, but I have Kindle for PC) You likea cheap read? (Who are you looking at?) DailyCheapReads posts Kindle reads for under $5.

Finally, stock.xchng, which claims to be "the leading FREE stock photo site". If you're putting together a book trailer, this seems a good place to look for pictures to use in it.

Have a great weekend! I'm working the concession stand with Corydon Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) no we don't handle snakes at the Friday Night Band Concert in Corydon tonight. If you're in the neighborhood, drop by and get some home-made ice cream.

WRITING PROMPT: Write a scene at a small-town outdoor band concert. It can be romance, fantasy, thriller, comedy, whatever.

MA

Marcon Report (at last)

This one is more personal. The more professional one is at Southern Indiana Writers, where I at least attempt to pretend I'm a responsible adult. Go there for a rundown of our panels on Blogging 4 Writers and Smashwords, Kindle, POD and Other Dirty Words (self-publishing), including downloads of our handouts.

Okay, we drove up to Marcon uneventfully (Thanks, GPS lady!), taking a trunk full of food — I mean books. After last year, we did not stay in the convention hotel. There's only so much money in the world, and we don't have that much of it. We stayed in The Red Roof Inn down the street. Loved it.

During the short walk to the convention hotel, we came upon this sign, which was apparently produced by one of my spommenters (spam commenters). We were like, "Woah! Never knew Columbus was such a wide-open town! Better a happy one than a grumpy one, fo' shizzle." We thought the MF was uncalled for, though, so we didn't go meet her. I hope that didn't make her sad. Four to seven ain't bad odds, though.

Wonderful costumes! The emphasis this year was on Steampunk, which delighted us. Personally, I never was too crazy about zombies, and I prefer my vampires to be more "two small puncture marks" than streaming with gore, so gears and airships make me do the happy dance. ~waves at Amanda Borenstadt~ I've never written Steampunk, but I've read some lately (Crystal Rain by Tobias Buckell [reviewed here] and The Burning Sky by Joseph Robert Lewis [currently reading]) and, of course, I've read many of the precursors (Jules Verne et al). I love the concepts, I love the clothes, I totally love the jewelry.

The costumes ranged from formal to less formal, airship pilot, scientist, inventor, upper-class, lower-class, totally alternative Victorian, straight Victorian, male and female and a lot of stick-a-gear-on-it-and-call-it-Steampunk. The variety was delightful, and the absence of ick was refreshing and wonderful. Poor MomGoth (me) didn't have to up her dosage or anything.

It wasn't all Steampunk. There was a large contingent of Whovians (fans of Doctor Who), with various incarnations of the Doctor and his various companions in all shapes and sizes. There was even a wonderful costume, which I missed snapping, of a dalek. A woman had on a crinolined skirt covered in those dalek bumps, carrying a silver plunger. The Doctor's transportation device — disguised as a police call box — had pride of place in The Green Room, where us panelists were allowed to hang out. We never saw him come or go, though, we we suspect it might have been a prop and not the real thing at all.

There were also costumes unrelated to Steampunk and Doctor Who, like this one, which I thought was totally gorgeous. She was a fae of the Winter Court. I kept meeting her in the ladies' rooms, reapplying the silver to her hands.

I felt like a scrub, what with just being dressed in my regular clothes, but being on panels and stuff inhibits me. If I were to wear a costume, though, I would totally want it to be Steampunk. With trousers or a shortish plainish skirt, though. I love the long skirts, but I wouldn't want to have to keep track of all those layers and all that length.

We arrived home after the convention without incident (Thanks again, GPS lady!) with fewer books, little food, less money and some good stuff. T got a new walking stick, I got a new bracelet, not sure what Samantha scored, but it was probably good.

WRITING PROMPT: What kind of sf/fantasy costume would you wear, if you HAD to wear one?

MA

June 2011 Update

Since it's the first of the month, I've put up a new Hot Flash. Click here to read it. Scroll down that page for previous ones.

This is also food day at the blog, so Imma post a recipe or something like one. There are two things I find it hard to do without now that we're meatless at home: tuna salad and hot chicken salad. We could use tofu, but now I'm told unfermented soy is worse for you than a lump of dry poison. We could use seitan, but not only is it not the same, we have friends with severe wheat allergies.

So yesterday, I bought some yellow squash and Imma try using that. I think I'll peel and cube some and marinate it in Not Chickn bouillon, then roast it and make the chicken salad with it. I'm told that mashed (but not mushed) chickpeas make a nice tuna-less salad, and that kelp granules will add that touch of fish taste. No got kelp granules, but I know where I can buy some — YES, IN CORYDON.

For some actual recipes, check out my Recipes tab. You could also do a search of the site for recipe and recipes and the Food category.

WRITING PROMPT: Where does your character go for recipes? A cookbook? A personal recipe collection? The internet? A friend? A relative? Random people in the grocery/marketplace?

MA

A Convention on a Tight Budget

Or, Fun for Tightwads. T. Lee Harris, Samantha Lopez and I went to Marcon Alternative Reality Convention this weekend, representing the Southern Indiana Writers Group. We did panels on Blogging 4 Writers and Kindle, Smashwords, POD and Other Dirty Words.

The best budget move we made was to stay in a hotel down the street, not in the convention hotel. Even with the convention rate, another hotel was cheaper. MUCH cheaper. Quieter, too.

The next best budget move was to take our own food. Not only was it cheaper, but one of us is gluten-intolerant, and the hotel's breakfast bar was all about baked goods. We took our own gluten-free bread, meat, cheese, fruit and snacks, and never had to worry about food allergies or aversions, getting to the hospitality suite too late to find any food other than popcorn skins, or high blood pressure from paying for what the food court had on offer. We did treat ourselves to one food court meal, but one was nice; all would have been feeding bankruptcy.

Conventions have dealers' rooms, where folks rent tables to sell stuff. You have to go through the dealers' room because a lot of the stuff is really cool, and all of it is really cool to someone or other. We spent more time watching people enjoy the stuff they found than we did finding stuff. We spent more time talking to the dealers about their work than we did buying. As people who sell our work, we know that sales are great, but it's also a pleasure to talk to people who are receptive to our enthusiasms. We did buy stuff, but we focused our enjoyment on things other than acquisition and spent less than we might have.

It was a wonderful experience, and I will post pictures.

This being Tuesday, I'm posting at Fatal Foodies about cooking for a Memorial Day crowd, which was THE DAY AFTER I GOT BACK FROM THE CONVENTION.

WRITING PROMPT: Send a character to a convention with less money than is convenient.

MA

How to Make an ePub by a Master

It's Memorial Day, and we're having thirty-odd people over (family and friends, insert your own "odd people" joke here) today, so I'm passing you along to the awesomely awesome Steven Saus, whose blog you should be reading anyway.

Marcon was great. I'll post pictures and talk about the haps, but I just got back from the convention last evening and today I'm cooking and hosting a– but I already told you that.

WRITING PROMPT: Your main character has to host a large gathering. Just to make it interesting, you may make it happen on short notice.

MA

Sample Sunday – Mermaids in Peril

Here is a mermaid (or, as I call them here, mermayd) scene from EEL'S REVERENCE. Aunt Libby, who reports the story, calls them "he" although they're hermaphroditic (mermaphroditic?) because they don't have breasts. (Ha! Take that SEO keywords, me proud buck!) My apologies: This is not exactly as it appears in the book, as I'm here in Columbus, Ohio, and the final copy is back in Indiana.

They were in an enclosed natatorium, dumped down the chute used to deliver ice blocks in summer and hot lead in winter. At the other end of the rectangle, concealed and muffled pumps forced a cascade up from the water table, through a series of un-life-like stone shells, and into the pool. Loach could see fastenings for ladders half-a-dozen places around the pool, but the ladders had been removed, as half of the water had been drained, to make the pool a prison. The natatorium's walls were about six feet back from the pool's edges; Loach couldn't see the door.

Aunt Isabella had the biggest and most ornate natatorium in Port Novo. Loach had no doubt of his location, or of the grimness of his immediate future.

He and his people, at the mercy of Aunt Isabella and Uncle Phineas—

"Aunt Isabella doesn't want to wipe us out. She's using us for something, I'll just bet you. Some of us might end up killed, because Aunt Isabella's crazy and hateful, but they'll rescue most of us, I know it."

"Who's 'they'?" Jack asked.

"The other priests and the rest of the landfolk."

"The other priests! Landfolk! Oh, yes, I am so…"

"You wait. You wait and see. Meanwhile, old seabodies like this one are going to die without being killed, not to mention the tads and weaklings." Loach pointed to the edge of the pool, where two churchwardens looked down with expressions of rapturous contempt. "Are we going to act like fish, like they call us, and do their job for them? Or are we going to make a little effort and show those air-sucking barracuda how real people behave?"

"Great speech," said Mollie. "Wonderful speech." But he grasped the shoulder of a wailing young mermayd and shook him till his eyes focused. "Quit it," he said, "and help us sort folks out. Who's hurt? Does anybody need help healing?"

Loach's "old seabody" regained some color and slipped quietly into the water. He must have spread Loach's words, or perhaps the same spirit of constructive defiance infected others at about that same time; pools of order began to form.

Then the sluice door opened, and another fifteen or so mermayds came shrieking down.

Don't be scared. Things work out in the end.

WRITING PROMPT: How would your main character rescue the mermayds? You may posit whatever security arrangements you need.

Morning in Columbus

Like morning everywhere, it comes very early in the day. Ugh. Having a good time here at Marcon, especially since this hotel is within

Path from last year's parking lot to last year's hotel

walking distance from the convention hotel, which is more than we could say of the convention hotel's own parking lot. Last year, we paid through the nose — through all our noses — for parking, then schlepped all our stuff (including books to sell) through a maze of stairs, escalators, pedways and corridors designed, as T. Lee Harris said, by M. C. Escher.

We did a panel on Blogging 4 Writers last night which was actually attended. If you guys are reading this, and you do start or update your blogs, drop me an email or a comment so I can come visit you.

Blogging for writers:

do it
at least twice a week
not too many bells, whistles and flashy thingies
deliver content

Just had my first cup of coffee. Ahhhhh!

Sample Sunday tomorrow, then back on Monday.

WRITING PROMPT: If your main character were asked to give a speech or participate in a panel, what would be the subject? Write that scene. You don't have to use it anywhere, just write it.

MA

Friday Recommends 5-26-2011

I'm on my way to Marcon sf convention this weekend. If you're there, look me up and say howdy! T. Lee Harris, Samantha Lopez and I are representing the Southern Indiana Writers Group on some panels.

Still, true to my trust, I have some web site recommendations for you.

An Evil Temptress

First, the evil temptress Holly Jahangiri talked me into signing up with SparkPeople, a free diet and healthy lifestyle site. At one point, about a decade ago, I lost 30 pounds, but I've gained it back and then some. Intervention is needed. I'm tired of being a major source of income for the locals who bet the tourists that I really can fit through a door. So.

The fabulous-abulous Johanna Harness has a new website for her YA novel, Disasterminds. The book sounds super, and the cover is da bomb.

Dean Wesley Smith, whom I worship as a god because he worked with Kristine Kathryn Rusch on The 10th Kingdom, has a blog that's full of insights and brainstorms: The Writings and Opinions of Dean Wesley Smith.

Last but far from least, fantasy author and Steampunk aficionado Amanda Borenstadt did a wonderful post on sound effects in your fiction. I mean, not yours, specifically, because how would she know? Just sounds effects in fiction, period.

Have a good time this weekend. Play nice. Last year, we were at the hotel of evil and couldn't get free wi-fi. This year, we're staying at the hotel where the angels stay and the wi-fi is free, so I'll either pop in on Saturday and Sunday or think up a good excuse why not.

WRITING PROMPT: Take a piece you've written and see if there are sound effects in it. If not, put them in. If so, are they appropriate, telling details? Are they realistic, compelling ones?

MA