Marian Allen's Blog, page 467

Join The Blitz For Vampires With A Twist!

From friend and fellow writer Denise Verrico:

L&L Dreamspell Publishing of Spring, Texas has just released My Fearful Symmetry, Book Three of the Immortyl Revolution, the third novel of the urban fantasy vampire series written by Denise Verrico. Set in 2001 in India, Verrico's story introduces a new vampire hero, Cedric MacKinnon, a temple dancer in service to the Goddess Kali, who learns his beauty and speed render him a lethal weapon. As in the previous novels, My Fearful Symmetry maintains a science fiction twist on the genre, action-packed thrills and a touch of romance. This installment follows up her debut novel, Cara Mia, which introduces the characters and world of Immortyl Revolution and its sequel, Twilight of the Gods. For more information visit the IMMORTYL REVOLUTION website.

Here is the list of prizes Verrico will be giving away on Blitz day.

2 My Fearful Symmmetry Book Cover t-shirts

2 Signed MFS posters

An Immortyl Revolution Mousepad

2 Immortyl Revolution key chains

2 ebooks of Twilight of the Gods

For this drawing, leave a comment at each stop that day, ending up on the IMMORTYL REVOLUTION blog (where they can enter another drawing. See note below.) All winners will be announced on July 8th for the blitz drawing to give them an extra day to enter.

The merchandise drawing is for US only, but the ebooks are for anywhere.

Top prize bundle would be: 1 ebook, poster,t-shirt, key chain and the mousepad.

One1 t-shirt, one poster, one key chain and one ebook will be awarded as seperate prizes.

In addition, the drawing on the blog for a signed print copy of My Fearful Symmetry has been extended- All you have to do to enter for this is to comment on the IMMORTYL REVOLUTION blog on any post from June 1-June 5th. This one is open to all countries. The winner fro this one will be announced on the sixth

You can buy the book here.

Thanks, Denise, and best of luck with the Blitz! Love that cover! I would say, "Woo-woo," but you know my motto: "To hell with anything unrefined."

WRITING PROMPT: A refined lady goes into a restaurant. All the tables are taken. A handsome and well-groomed young man offers to share his table with her. She sits and orders and, after the food comes, she learns he's a temple dancer. Write the ensuing conversation.

MA

p.s. I'm blogging at Fatal Foodies today on the subject of Summer Pudding a la Hilda Rumpole.

Critique Group Best Practices by Guest Floyd Hyatt

This is the first of a half-dozen occasional posts sent me by the wonderful Floyd Hyatt. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Thanks, F. A.!

Reading Between The Lines

Ah, an old adage but a goodie. The basis, of course, is that editors use the margins and double spaces between lines, to write editorial and typesetting notes.

However, us untrained readers are sometimes not so pro at critiquing.

Reading between the lines, at this juncture, takes on its prosaic meaning. Did the Critiquer dislike that passage's message, or was there something amiss technically with the structure of it? Was that word miss-spelled, or did it just connote, in the reader's mind, something unintended? Was that character represented badly, or was its personality one the reader disliked?

Critiques walk a diverse path, both setting forth opinions, and pointing out technical errors. The tendency is to be less explicit than we should be, over all, which can lead to misinterpreted commentary.

To avoid this problem, it is sometimes best to tag comment as to type. Easy enough to do with, say, a spelling oversight or typo, but harder with structural errors, say, a miss-constructed sentence or paragraph, as opposed to something subjective, like cadence, logic, or our expectations within a piece.

Here are some "Best Practices" I have seen that avoid such misunderstandings:

Label clearly any Technical Problems:

Spelling problem (Sp)
Spacing error (Spc)
Sentence structure issue (Stuct)
Paragraph error – Formatting (fmt)
Paragraph error – Improper inclusions (Pgph, Multip-subj)*


Punctuation error- *
Label Opinions as such:
I Prefer this Punctuation*
I Prefer this Adjective*
I Prefer this Name, Pronoun*
I would prefer this alternate Description*

Suggestions:

Suggest a revision for cadence*
Suggest a description here*
Suggest an alternate wording*
Suggesting an Insert*
Suggest Deleting this (unneeded, seems redundant, )

*write out what you would have preferred, or the correction

General feelings, or appreciations:

Start such comments with I felt, I thought, I would like to have seen, I was most impressed with, My preference would have been, My own impression was

However you do it, whatever format you choose to use in a critique, it is most helpful to be explicit in separating out what kind of comment you are making. Everyone is entitled to their opinions on something written, and these will be (or should be) gathered by the writer to assess how a work might be received by the general audience for it, but such are not necessarily grammar, spelling, or format issues.

Carefully categorizing what kind of commentary is being tendered aids the author in grooming his work, prevents misunderstanding the readers intent, and requires little extra effort on the reader's part.

F. A. Hyatt

WRITING PROMPT: Practice what F. A. preaches.

MA

Free Sample Sunday – The Joke

I don't think I've posted this before. I can't find it, anyway. I wrote this earlier this year. It has no crime in it, unless you count the way this guy tells a joke.

In case you don't know, I've dropped the price of my short story collection eBooks to 99 cents at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. So go snap 'em up and enjoy some short stories, 'kay?

The Joke

"I'm afraid I don't dance." Ted thought he should let that be known at the beginning.

Ted was forty, and Jerry, his work friend, was only a couple of years younger, but apparently middle school never ended: Jerry wanted to go out with Angela and Angela's roommate, Bibi, had just been though a bad breakup and he, Ted, had been drafted to fill out the foursome. It seemed like a rotten thing to do to a woman who had been though a bad breakup.

Someone had once told Ted that boring people never think they're boring, but he knew that wasn't true. Sometimes, he stopped listening in the middle of his own sentences.

"We may not even do the dancing," Jerry said.

"I had a hard day at work," Bibi said. "I might make an early night of it."

Ted's dates often–usually–always made an early night of it.

Jerry arranged the seating at the restaurant so that Ted and Bibi sat next to each other, then Jerry, then Angela. Jerry monopolized Angela's attention, leaving Bibi stranded with Ted.

Tonight would be different. He hadn't once caught Bibi rolling her eyes or exchanging Looks with Angela. It would be nice to alter his pattern and show a woman a good time for a change.

She didn't look bored, but she did look sad. He took his napkin and reached across Bibi's plate to dab at the tears in the corners of her eyes. It seemed to surprise her. Perhaps he shouldn't have done that.

"Do you like jokes?" he asked.

"Jokes? I suppose so."

"Okay. Well. It seems a man walked into a bar, possibly the bar here."

"Oh, no," Bibi said.

"No?"

"I mean, oh, no, it's Paul. Of all the places he could have gone–" She tried to say this to Angela, but Angela had eyes and ears only for Jerry.

"So," Ted said, "this man puts a box on the bar and opens it. Inside there's a little piano. Well, not extremely little, but rather small. A toy piano, in fact." He indicated the size he meant with his hands.

Bibi looked at his demonstration, and Ted glanced at the man whose entrance had made her turn pale. He was tall and blond and tan, like a Slo-Poke all-day sucker. He was with a woman Ted felt compared most unfavorably with Bibi.

"All right, yes, I see the size you mean," Bibi said.

"A ferret in a tuxedo was on the piano bench–a ferret-sized tuxedo, of course–and began to play. A mouse in a slinky red dress stood on her hind legs, leaning against the piano. She began to sing."

The man passed right by their table, though he could have taken many other paths.

Bibi fixed Ted with a gaze more concentrated than any he'd ever had from a woman before. "A mouse-sized slinky red dress," she said.

"Ah. Yes. I should have said that. Exactly."

Bibi looked up at the man's retreating back. Ted tapped the table to recall her attention.

"And the man with the box–you know, with the piano and the ferret and the mouse in it–the man says, 'It really isn't that wonderful. The mouse can't sing. The ferret is a ventriloquist.'"

It seemed bad form to laugh at his own joke, but Bibi didn't seem to know it was over. He suspected she had something else on her mind.

"That Paul," he said, "is a stupid idiot. And his ferret is a ventriloquist."

Now, she laughed.

WRITING PROMPT: Have your main character tell a joke.

MA

Coming Up Blank

A short post today–shut up, stop cheering–but writers sometimes come up blank. That's fine, if you're just writing for fun, but what if you're on a deadline? What do you do?

Sometimes I play some Solitaire or Mahjongg matching, but that's if I have considerable time to let my subconscious mosey around like that kid in The Family Circus until it brings me back what I sent it to fetch. Sometimes, like during NaNoWriMo ~waving to campers who are at Camp NaNo this month~ I don't have that luxury.

When that happens, you just have to tie a knot and go on. If you're sprinting through a project, there's not a thing in the world wrong with just writing a stream-of-consciousness outline of what, generally, you want to happen in a story. My friend and fellow Southern Indiana Writers Group member T. Lee Harris does this to brilliant effect. Once you've brainstormed the general skeleton of the project, you can go back and flesh it out.

Of course, this is The Kiss Of Death to writers who write to find out what they're going to say. Once they've written the bones of the story, all the fun is gone and the project is over.

People like that, or people who, like me, have no idea where to start on a project, have to just dive, as I wrote about Monday.

That's what I did today, and the post turned out to be longer than I expected. Sorry about that.

WRITING PROMPT: How does your main character approach a project, writing or other? Is he or she a careful planner or a diver?

MA

July Update and Friday Recommends

It's the first of the month, so I've put a new Hot Flash up. I've also snazzy-jazzy streamlined my sidebar a li'l wee bit. I changed the name of my NOVELS page and tab to BOOKS and included my short story collections, and have added links to the Nook store for them as well as links to Kindle and Smashwords. Let me know what you think of the tweaks.

Now for some recommendations.

Yesterday, Mom and I went to for a NETWORK meeting. The Depot is part of the African American Heritage Trail. It used to be a segregated restroom, and now all races meet and mingle and sit down and break bread together there. Here's a link to an article about the meeting.

If you're a fan of fantasy and science fiction, hop over to Fantasy Cookie. It's a wonderful, beautiful book review blog full of tasty treats. You're welcome.

Speaking of tasty treats, I've stumbled onto a couple of keepable recipe sites: The Vegetarian Recipe Club is based in the UK; all its recipes are not only vegetarian but vegan. (Oh, keep your shirt on–you can add meat, if you must have meat.) Syvum is an interactive educational site that includes international recipes, vegetarian and non-vegetarian. It tickles me that the recipes are "vegetarian and non-vegetarian" rather than "vegetarian and regular".

Happy weekend!

WRITING PROMPT: What would your main character think of the book you're currently reading or just finished reading? Write a book review of that book from his/her point of view.

MA

Trippin' With the Fam

Click picture to enlarge

Relax–you know this post isn't about dope. I'm talking about the road trip we took yesterday. Mom, Charlie, #3 Daughter, Youngest Grandson (6 years old) and I drove down to Grayson County to show the grandson Charlie's old stompin' grounds.

Click picture to enlarge

We went to Caneyville to see where Charlie's grandfather lived and where the story happened that I used as a basis for "I'll Fly Away" in the Southern Indiana Writers' MOST WANTED anthology. We drove up to the Allen Cemetery to see where Charlie's father, grandparents and uncles and aunts are buried, on the highest point in Grayson County. We went to Falls of Rough and saw the parsonage where Charlie's parents were married.

Then we went to the Rough River Dam State Resort Park Lodge restaurant for their Wednesday lunch buffet. Folks, I fell off the turnip wagon. I mean I fell off so hard I bounced over the guard rail and escaped into the wild. They had my two greatest animal flesh weaknesses: chicken & dumplings and ribs & kraut. I ate until I foundered. I'm not proud of it, I only state it as a fact. Supper was a raw tomato, so I don't feel as bad as I should.

Somewhere along the way, Youngest Grandson asked to take a picture. I have a digital camera given to us by his

Click picture to enlarge. Photo by Youngest Grandson, age 6.

father several years ago, which means there was no film to waste or spoil, so I handed it over. He snapped a bazillion shots, missing most of them because he shot faster than the battery could reset and because he was so careful

Click picture to enlarge. Photo by Youngest Grandson, age 6.

with the camera he didn't push the button hard enough to activate it. I asked him to loop the  lanyard over his wrist so the camera wouldn't fall to the ground if he dropped it. Every time I handed the camera over to him, the first thing he did was put the lanyard over his wrist. When he saw that his pictures hadn't all taken, he said, "Will you show me how to take pictures?" Then he listened carefully as I told him, and did as I suggested.

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Self-portrait by Youngest Grandson, age 6.

Here are a couple of his pictures. Charlie thought he was just playing until we got home and I showed him the shots that had actually registered. The kid was looking for shots, experimenting with shots, taking multiple shots of the same thing from different angles. I think he has a good eye, especially for a 6-year-old! In fact, here is a shot of one of them.

On the way home, he amused himself and his mother by taking short movies until the batteries were dead and the memory card was filled up. Then he asked me if I could make him a copy of all his pictures and movies so he could show them to people. It was a very long trip and he's a pretty young kid, but that camera turned out to be the saving of the day. None of us got bored or tired or unhappy, and he and I totally bonded over our snappies, sharing the camera without squabbles.

Great day.

Long-time readers (~waves to Mom~) know that I don't post pictures of kids on the internet, but I'm making an exception in the case of Youngest Grandson's friend, who was also along on the trip. Let his grandmother worry.

Photo by Youngest Grandson, age 6.

WRITING PROMPT: Have a character bond with a much younger character over a shared enthusiasm.

MA

A Favorite Nom

Mom and I went to Schimpff's Confectionery yesterday, which is always a treat. Mom always buys me a half-pound of dark-chocloate-covered orange peel and I always buy her a half-pound of crystal cream roses in assorted colors and flavors. Here's a picture of an orange one. These pretty li'l babies are pure sugar, and melt in your mouth. You're also getting a picture of my weird fingerprints, with the vertical lines.

I didn't take a picture of the orange peel because, frankly, it doesn't look like something you would eat. And it isn't something you would eat–not if I got to it first.

Another of my favorite noms is something my mother goes icchh about. She isn't a big fan of peanut butter, my mom.

RITZY NOMS

2 Ritz (or similar) crackers
peanut butter
meltable white chocolate

Make a sammich of the crackers and peanut butter. Melt the white chocolate and dip the sammich in it or pour chocolate over it. Sprinkle with pretty sprinkles, if desired. NOM!

Since I've been back on my diet, I've rediscovered how satisfying food is when eaten in small quantities rather than large ones. Just one of these noms wouldn't be very high in calories, and it would fill my head with happiness.

On a writing-related note, my #4 daughter and #1 beta reader read my story for #amwriting and gave me a MOST useful critique. Apparently, I've reached the point at which I know so well what's going on, I'm assuming the reader does, too, but I haven't dropped enough information yet. As you know, these things must be done deh-licately–oryouhurtthespell.

WRITING PROMPT: Does your main character prefer quality or quantity? Put him or her in a situation with someone of the opposite attitude.

MA

Cornucopia

This doesn't look like a horn of plenty, but it is. I went out to the Tuesday morning farm market. Still no baby eggplants, but Mr. Hambley and I spoke seriously about his putting a couple back for me, in case Miss Greedy Little Pig tried to snatch them all up. Now I'm obligated to buy eggplants, whether I want them or not, since I've made such a point of it. But I do want them, so that should be all right.

We're sharing this stuff with Mom, so it will all be eaten. Kale, tomatoes, broccoli, burpless cucumbers and yellow squash. I always cut the neck off the squash and put in in a stir fry or on a veggie pizza, then slice the body long-ways, dredge it in flour, and fry it. I'm going to try making kale chips with some of the kale. They sound delicious. Shut up–they do, too.

This is one of those mornings I wish I could record how our place smells and share it with you. The air is deleriously sweet. I think it's the hosta blooms. It isn't Joe the dog, that's for sure, but something smells divine.

Wish you were here!

I'm posting at Fatal Foodies today on the subject of Egg Fu Leftover. Hope you'll hop over and join me there.

WRITING PROMPT: What's your main character's favorite snack? Does he or she ever try a new one? If so, what? If not, why not?

MA

Writers' Tools – Cliff Diving or Dumpster Diving?

I just wrote a story for #amwriting (to be up in July). The only thing I had to start with were a word count of 1000. I also wanted to write an exercise we gave ourselves at Corydon Quills and Quibbles, in which we had to write a piece including "monkey", "pinecone" and "high temperature".

My first thought, of course, was The Stone Monkey, but I didn't think I could keep it short enough. I'm a total fangirl of The Handsome Monkey King, The Great Sage Equal to Heaven. I mean, who isn't?

So I decided on a character who looked like a monkey.

Then the diving began. I got my laptop and opened a document and just started writing. This is the exciting part for me: this diving in. I just write a scene, not worrying about where it's going to go. Bring other characters in and see what they might do, how they might interrelate.

I don't get much written, usually. Maybe a few hundred words. I play a lot of Solitaire and Free Cell and, appropriately, in this case, Mah Jongg. I play a while, do something else for a while, go back and tweak what I've written, cut bits out and save them to another file, start over, start over, start over, write a different scene from another character's point of view.

As I often do, I wondered if this story could be a springboard for another in the series of cozy mysteries I'm working on, set in a Storybook Style neighborhood. That gave me a ready-made background fabric for this particular pattern, a fabric that wouldn't be seen in this flash piece but that I would know was there.

But what would be the plot? Would there be a "plot", or would there just be a shift of some kind, an important decision reached that would change the direction or dynamics of the set-up? It could go either way.

In church, the preacher's sermon was about open, radical hospitality, and all the characters in my story perked up their ears, looked sideways at each other, and put on pious faces.

And I came home and wrote the story.

That's how I like to write stories: By a combination of rummaging around in what I have, opening myself to what's around, and diving right in.

What works for you?

WRITING PROMPT: Is your main character hospitable? How hospitable? Is he or she a great host or hostess if guests are invited, or also if guests drop in unannounced?

MA

Free Sample Sunday – Follow Your Bliss

This story originally appeared in Flash Me online magazine. Sadly, Flash Me is currently on indefinite hiatus. But here is a story.

Follow Your Bliss

by Marian Allen

Bliss backed the pick-up out of the drive, bucking across a decade of dried‑mud corrugations.

For ten long years, she had endured Harley's stumbling home late every Friday and Saturday; of his flopping into bed, liquor-stunned, gone before he was down; of his waking up, violently amorous; of his pride in the bruises his strength left on her – his badges of manhood.

For ten years, she had gritted her teeth while he mocked her church. His favorite joke was to offer her whiskey "in case one of them snakes you Bible thumpers han'le up and bites you."

His latest pleasure was to forbid her to go to church at all, just in time for this week's big Revival. But this was Friday – payday – and Harley hadn't been home to stop her.

Now, she pulled onto the church's gravel lot. The Temple of Deliverance was bright this crisp November evening, already filled with the faithful, filled with the spirit. A voice shouted, a tambourine shook. Here was joy. Here was paradise on earth.

Harley would come home to an empty, unheated place. He wouldn't even notice her absence. He would kick off his shoes, toss his clothes on the floor, and slide between the sheets. She'd left a heating pad on under the blanket to make a cozy sanctuary in the chilly house. Maybe Harley would appreciate it.

The rattler she'd put there certainly seemed to.

WRITING PROMPT: What attitude does your main character have toward people with religious beliefs or practices other than his/her own?

MA