Jeff Burk's Blog, page 10
October 6, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #6 – SHEITAN
Every day for the month of October I am watching and reviewing a horror movie that I haven’t seen before. Here’s today’s:
SHEITAN
Kim Chapiron, France, 2006
Wow, this was a weird one. It takes a very standard horror plot – group of friends meet weird hot girl, follow her back to her home, and her family is insane. What sets this apart is there’s a constant air of menace and perversion that never goes over the top (for the first two thirds at least) so the characters and viewers are never quite sure how in over their head they really are. There are some really cool shock moments and the main villain is expertly acted (serious, he carries the entire movie) that make this a cool little gem of modern French extreme cinema.
And there’s a scene of a woman jerking off a dog. That was pretty unexpected.
October 5, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #5 – DEAD OF NIGHT
Every day for the month of October I am watching and reviewing a horror movie that I haven’t seen before. Here’s today’s:
DEAD OF NIGHT
Alberto Cavalcanti, Charles Crichton,
Basil Dearden and Robert Hamer, United Kingdom, 1945
A very early post-war British horror anthology of six (counting the wrap-around) supernatural horror stories. While I’m sure the stories were original at the time, to a modern audience there’s very much a feeling of “been-there-done-that.” The acting and directing are extremely well done but that doesn’t make up for the fact that the viewer can predict how each story will end minutes after it has started.
At its best moments this feels like a bunch of TWILIGHT ZONE episodes that you haven’t seen. At its worst it is a historical curiosity and it’s not much of a surprise that it has largely been forgotten.
October 4, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #4 – THE WAILING
Every day for the month of October I am watching and reviewing a horror movie that I haven’t seen before. Here’s today’s:
THE WAILING
Na Hong-jin, South Korea, 2016
This flick has been getting a ton of buzz but I found it to be very mediocre. A small village is having an issue with lots of people suddenly dying in strange ways and it seems that a ghost is responsible. The movie follows the police and religious leaders as they try to get the situation under control.
While interesting, the movie is overly long and seriously drags at points. It could have used an hour cut out. Unfortunately, the movie is so long and uneventful for most of the duration that when something interesting does happen, I was already mentally checked out.
October 3, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #3 – ABATTOIR
Every day for the month of October I am watching and reviewing a horror movie that I haven’t seen before. Here’s today’s:
kinopoisk.ru
ABATTOIR
Darren Lynn Bousman, United States, 2016
I was really excited for this one based on the sales concept – a man builds a haunted house out by assembling violent crime scenes from other houses. That is such a brilliant idea that I am fucking jealous.
However the final movie is a weird noir story that feels like a nineties B-movie. In the final act it finally gets to that house that all the pitches focused on but it had the feel of those William Malone directed remakes that were made in the 90’s of 50’s B-flicks.
I was really ready to love this but I just didn’t. Sadly, I found it mostly boring.
Weirdly, I could only find German trailer for this one.
October 2, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #2 – YOGA HOSERS
Every day for the month of October I am watching and reviewing a horror movie that I haven’t seen before. Here’s today’s:
YOGA HOSERS
Kevin Smith, United States, 2016
The newest Kevin Smith film is yet another weirdo/comedy/horror flick but this time he’s added in the teen genre. It’s not a sequel to TUSK but it contains several characters that first appeared there and I predict this to be just as divisive among viewers. The first half is a teen character (surprisingly non-offensive from Smith) but that sausage Nazis show up (Bratzis) and things get weird.
There’s an odd vibe to the whole movie that I’d describe as a Canadaploitation meets GREMLINS. While the flick is completely unafraid of getting weird, I could have done without the musical numbers and the character intro screens (that I think were supposed to be Instagram parodies?). Considering the convenience store setting (and there main characters aren’t even supposed to be there!) this is kinda CLERKS meets TUSK.
October 1, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #1 – THE WIZARD OF GORE
Every day for the month of October I am watching and reviewing a horror movie that I haven’t seen before. Here’s today’s:
WIZARD OF GORE
H.G. Lewis, United States, 1970
Even though I’m a huge fan of H.G. Lewis (sadly RIP as of Sept) and stage magic, this was one film I just never got around to watching. Lewis is one of the all-time great exploitation filmmakers and he basically single-handedly creating the gore film with 1963’s BLOOD FEAST. There is a certain low-budget glee to his shlock-fests that just doesn’t seem to exist anymore. It’s a feeling that’s best complimented with a midnight viewing, a few beers, and some weed.
This one concerns a stage magician who performs particularly gory illusions which (of course) turn out to be real. The build-up to each bloody set-piece is surprisingly suspenseful and thrilling. Cheesy, over-the-top gory, and strangely psychedelic at times, this is everything a midnight movie should be. The complete disregard for shot-to-shot continuity only makes everything more charming.
Considering the bloody nature of the magician’s onstage tricks, I have to wonder if Penn & Teller have ever seen this.
September 30, 2016
31 Days of Horror I Haven’t Seen – Day #0
I’m sure most of you have heard of the 31 Days of Halloween horror movie challenge. In case you haven’t the concepts – watch a different horror movie every day in October in celebration of Halloween. I’ve always wanted to attempt it but just never have. This year I am! But I’m putting a spin on it – I’m only watching horror movies that I have never seen before. Some will be brand new just released titles, some will be classics that I just missed, some will be foreign films that just never caught on in the states – I don’t even know yet. I haven’t made a complete final list.
For each movie I’ll be doing a short review, so check here every day in October for me watching a new (to me) horror movie!
If you are looking for suggestions for your own 31 Days of Halloween movie marathon, I wrote an article at Bizarro Central about 17 Great Horror Movies You Probably Haven’t Seen!
September 29, 2016
Jeff Attacks #17 -Public Serpents and Giant Robots with Skwert
Skwert, drummer of Choking Victim, IN*DK, American Distress, and the mastermind behind Public Serpents, talks with Jeff about his career in music, art in the internet age, collecting Japanese giant robot toys, gardening, how crazy this election season is, and much more!
I was on the Bizzong Podcast
Episode Summary:
“This week is a super sized, super extra large, xxl show! The one and only Jeff Burk of Deadite Press joins the show and refuses to leg go! We all know Jeff not only as the head editor of Deadite Press, one of the premier cult horror publishers on the market today, but he is also the author of such great titles like Cripple Wolf and Shatnerquake to name a few. He is also the host of his own podcast, Jeff Attacks! a punk rock art podcast that stands and has no peers in this sea of podcasting.
This show features over an hour and a half of pure interview! You have been warned. Go pee now ‘cuz we’re going to be awhile this ZongerDay. Don’t forget to share and retweet when your done and help spread the good word of Bizzong!”
May 19, 2016
Order THE SQUISHY STORIES VOL. 2
A few months ago my cat, Squishy, underwent facial surgery that sadly had some expected outcomes. After a few months of care, I’m happy to report that there is no serious lasting damage to her (however, her face looks a little funky now). On the downside, she did rack up a bunch of bills and she refuses to get a job.
Lots of people contacted me asking how they could help and if they could donate money. I felt weird just taking cash from people so here’s what I did – I enlisted a few of my cat loving friends to write stories about/in tribute of my fat cat for a benefit chapbook.
You may be asking yourself if this is volume two, where is the first volume? That was an exclusive chapbook only available at BizarroCon. It’s long out of print and will never be reprinted. Just as that will never be repressed, volume two will only be available here and once it’s gone, it’s gone!
Have you ever wanted to read about a fat cat getting roasted by Andrew Dice Clay? How about how cats cheat at playing cards? Have a strong interest in cults that sacrifice to overweight cats? Want to find out what my cat has to do with “the Buddy System?” All this a much more in one of the silliest and stupidest chapbooks ever made!
Featuring brand new and exclusive stories by:
G. Arthur Brown – author of I LIKE TURTLES and GOVERNOR OF THE HOMELESS
Jeff Burk – author of SHATNERQUEST and CRIPPLE WOLF
Garrett Cook – author of TIME PIMP and A GOD OF HUNGRY WALLS
Christine Morgan – author of MYTHIC LUST: THE MINOTAUR and the forthcoming SPERMJACKERS FROM HELL
Christoph Paul – author of GREAT WHITE HOUSE and SLASHER CAMP FOR NERD DORKS
Pedro Proença – author of BENJAMEN
Michael Allen Rose – author of PARTY WOLVES IN MY SKULL and BOILED AMERICANS
Each will be hand-numbered and signed by myself. Plus each order will come with a bonus mini Squishy poster.
This is a limited edition chapbook that will only be available to order here from now until May 31st. Order you copies today before you miss out!
Please include your address when checking out.
Estimated shipping date is the second week of June.
United States orders – $10 (includes shipping)
International Orders – $15 (includes shipping)
I did have a number of people that asked about just giving donations. If you really would like to do that you can here:
