Michael Robert Dyet's Blog, page 53

The Twelve Undisputable Laws of the Society for Worn Out Backs

Hmmm, if you want to apply for membership in the Society for Worn Out Backs (SWOB), are you willing to memorize the twelve undisputable laws?

Be advised that these laws are iron clad and must be religiously obeyed. Violating even one will result in immediate expulsion from SWOB – not to mention a week on the couch watching daytime reruns and swallowing anti-inflammatories like candy.

Herewith are the laws. Commit them to memory or forever hold your peace.

Law #1: If it falls on the floor, it is meant to be there. Let it be.

Law #2: If it falls on the floor and rolls under a table, leave it there until your cat discovers it and decides to play with it. Eventually it will come back to you.

Law #3: If it is a can’t-live-without-it item and it falls on the floor more than twice in any given day, it is cursed. Throw it away and buy a new one.

Law #4: Your lumbar roll is your most cherished possession. You must have a back-up one and a back-up to the back-up. Having it surgically attached to your back is permissible.

Law #5: If it weighs more than your cat, you cannot under any circumstances pick it up. Where it sits is where it must stay. It is better to have to walk around it then to lift it.

Law #6: If you must sit longer than 45 minutes without standing, you must do the eggbeater with your legs. Yes, it is lame and people will give you strange looks. Deal with it.

Law #7: Lower shelves are for able bodied people. You are not one of them. It if can’t fit on an upper shelf, get rid of it.

Law #8: Heating pads and cold packs are your best and most intimate friends. Treat them with reverence and respect and always have at least two of each.

Law #9: Standing is better than sitting. Walking is better than standing. Don’t even think about running. You’ll get there when you get there.

Law #10: If the elevator is broken and your destination is more than two flights up, you’re shit out of luck. It might as well be on Mars.

Law #11: If the puddle is longer than a single stride and you can’t walk around it, turn around and go home. Jumping is not an option.

Law #12: If you slip, trip or fall, you’re screwed. Period. End of discussion.

If you must have a metaphor to live by, make it this one. It’s not the slip or the trip or the fall that’s the problem. It’s the landing. Welcome to SWOB. Your membership card is in the mail.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

No, Microsoft. You May Not Have Your Way with My PC

Hmmm, has Microsoft become too big of a snowball in the PC world?

I opened Internet Explorer last night to do my daily check of e-mails, Twitter and Facebook. I do this habitually every evening. But something interrupted my routine this time. A pop-up window appeared with the following invitation.

 MICROSOFT RECOMMENDS UPGRADING TO WINDOWS 10

We would like to schedule your upgrade for

Monday, April 11, 11:00 pm

Where do I begin to describe the myriad ways this annoys and, yes, even frightens me? First of all, I dislike pop-up windows. They are more than a little intrusive – a bit like walking up the steps to your house and being slapped in the face by a salesman poised to make his pitch.

Back to Microsoft. So you recommend upgrading to Windows 10. Thank you so very much, Bill, for the recommendation. But I do not recall asking for your opinion. And if I do decide to seek advice on the matter, I will go to someone without a vested interest in the outcome.

Furthermore, the pop-up window leaping onto the screen with the recommendation is curiously similar to the alert I would get from my virus protection program if it detected a potential infection. Coincidence? I think not. There is a subtle psychological ploy at work here.

Is it not rather presumptuous to present me with a scheduled date for the upgrade? Ummm… YES, IT IS!! If I was inclined to take your advice, Bill, this act of presumption would kill the deal.

The fact that all I have to do is click “Okay”, to schedule the upgrade, is more than a little disconcerting. It implies that Microsoft will be able to access my computer on their own at the specified future date and time without my even logging on to the web.

Should I give Microsoft carte blanche to have their way with my PC? I rather think not. If I were paranoid or a conspiracy theorist, I would wonder what else they might decide to do when I have effectively left opened the front door to my PC while I sleep.

The invitation assures me that: Windows 10 is the most secure Windows ever; upgrading is free; I can go back to Windows 7 after thirty days; my PC is ready for Windows 10.

All very reassuring. But how does Microsoft know that my PC is ready for Windows 10? Perhaps it makes no difference whether or not I leave the front door opened. They might already have a keyhole which they have been using for quite some time.

The snowball metaphor describes a situation where something small and insignificant builds upon itself over time and becomes large, powerful and even unstoppable. I rather think Microsoft has become the giant snowball and is trying to leverage that status.

Eventually I will have no choice but to upgrade to Windows 10. Such is the law of the computer world. But it will be when I decide I am ready. And I will not be giving Microsoft a blank cheque to my PC for that purpose. (Oops, did I just mix my metaphors?)

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Fracking: The Hammer, the Bell and a Giant Pile of Rubble

Hmmm, should we be concerned about 2.5 million hammer strikes to the ground beneath our feet?

The connection between human activity and climate change is well documented. Even skeptics cannot overlook the strange weather patterns that predominate these days and the severe weather events that happen with increasing frequency.

So perhaps I should not be surprised to learn about another human activity that is, quite literally, shaking things up in disconcerting ways. The process in question is called hydraulic fracking.

Fracking is the process of high pressure injection of fracking fluid – water containing sand or other thickening agents – into a well to create cracks in the rock formations through which natural gas and oil will flow more freely. Fracking has a number of harmful health effects. 

Fracturing fluids can contaminate underground aquifers and surface waters
Air emissions, including volatile organic compounds, threaten human health
Constant diesel pollution and noise pollution since fracking continues 24-7
Methane leaks which accelerate climate change.

Now research indicates that fracking of oil and gas wells are causing earthquakes. Experts have determined that fracking makes it easier for faults in underground rock formations to slip which triggers earthquakes. Considering that there have been 2.5 million “frac jobs” around the world since the process began 65 years ago, this is more than a little worrisome.

The phenomenon is a serious concern in Western Canada where oil and gas extraction is a big money industry. The area around Fox Creek, Alberta, which is smack dab in the middle of a large oil and gas field, has experienced hundreds of quakes since 2013 including one that measured 4.2 on the Richter scale.

The battle lines have been drawn. Proponents of fracking defend the practice based on the economic benefits of more accessible fossil fuels. Opponents argue that the economic benefits are outweighed by the environmental impacts including the triggering of earthquakes.

I am troubled to learn that we humans have the ability to cause something as fearsome as an earthquake. We are quite literally pulling the ground out from under our own feet in an effort to feed our insatiable appetite for fossil fuels.

Michael Bell, Chair of the Geophysics Program at the University of Washington, reaches for metaphor to put an earthquake in perspective. “An earthquake is like the hammer hitting the bell and the entire planet then resonates with its natural frequencies for periods of weeks following the giant earthquake.”

If we extend that metaphor, fracking becomes 2.5 million little hammers hitting the bell over and over and over again. A ready source of gas for our cars does will not do us much good when the big one hits and we are buried beneath a pile of rubble.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Sculptures in Ice: Caterpillars, Molten Glass and Moonstone Gems

Hmmm, should we take issue with Mother Nature for slamming us with a spring ice storm or admire the grace of her artistic hand?

In the aftermath of the storm, there is a small window within which to enjoy the exquisite ice sculptures that have formed such as the one at the head of this post. What do you see?

Translucent caterpillars slumbering on the delicate tendrils of a cluster of branches?

Tiny goblets of molten glass pushed up through the earth’s crust by a benevolent, volcanic god of the inner earth?

Interlacing necklaces of moonstone gems that capture and immortalize individual rays of light?

Or perhaps, if we wax philosophical, random cascades of fossilized moments in time which are visible only when rare circumstances collide or the fates align.

Ice sculptures in the aftermath of a spring ice storm – random acts of metaphor for both the fearsome might of Mother Nature and the heart of artist that lies within her.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Counting the Days to the Welcoming Embrace of Petticoat Creek

Hmmm, is there a way to fast forward time and transport myself to Petticoat Creek?

Happy Vernal Equinox day aka the first day of spring. Winter did not have much bite this year and I am grateful for that small mercy. We still, of course, have to get through the last week and a half of March with fingers crossed that a late season storm does not blow in.

But I am already mentally tracing my steps on one of my favourite, early spring birding hikes. I am an unrepentant creature of habit in those things that give my pleasure.

I pull into the parking lot around 8:00 am with rising anticipation. As soon as I open the car door, the morning chorus of bird song washes over me like a long awaited blessing. No matter that the singers are common birds – the wolf whistle of Starlings, name-saying Chickadees and the nasal ank ank ank note of a Nuthatch. It is all sweet music to my ears.

I make my way down the park road and locate the half-hidden trail angling down into the valley. A familiar descending whinny overhead is reason enough to pause. I aim my binoculars upwards and locate the industrious Downy Woodpecker mining for insects on a tree trunk.

Frenetic Kinglets dart through the budding branches as I continue down the path and quickly catch movement out of the corner of my eye. A slim, camouflaged sprite spirals up a tree bracing itself with its stiff tail. No need to lock the binoculars on it – characteristic Brown Creeper behaviour – but I do so anyway to welcome this early migrant.

The path links up with Petticoat Creek where rumour has it Trout cavort in the pool under the bridge. Kinglets accompany me as I continue on through the valley keeping my eyes moving and my ears tuned in.

Perhaps, if I am very fortunate, I will catch the musical, even-pitched trill of an early Pine Warbler high overhead. Always difficult to locate for earth-bound creatures so as I. But well worth the effort to catch the soul-stirring flash of the yellow breast and the white wing bars.

Instead, a familiar churr churr wafts to me on the breeze. Wheels spin in my brain, throwing off winter doldrums, and I make the connection. Red-bellied Woodpecker! A striking sight with its zebra back and red crown, and definitely worth chasing down. A few minutes of scanning and I find it high up on the trunk of a tree on the embankment.

The day is already a success. Everything from this point on will be a bonus as I follow the circuit I know so well – Frenchman’s Bay for waterfowl, Hydro Park for more Kinglets and perhaps a Tundra Swan, the back pond at Duffin’s Creek Marsh which never disappoints as the undisputed best spot for ducks, and finishing off on the Cranberry Marsh lookout deck.

Yes, it is a well-worn cliché. But I never tire of welcoming spring as a metaphor for rebirth, awakening and the renewal of optimism in a world very much in need of it.

Petticoat Creek awaits in a few short weeks. I am counting the days and hours (and even the minutes) until I find myself there once again. As long as blood courses in my veins, I will make the trek there each April to renew my love affair with spring.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Chrysler, Ford and GM – Is That Google in Your Rear View Mirror?

Rant alert: Your designated technology curmudgeon is about to go on another rant. Take a deep breath and fasten your seatbelt for a bumpy ride. (Pun intended)

Hmmm, which autonomous vehicle will roll off the assembly line first: the Googlemobile, the Apple iCar or the Uber Coupe?

The race is on to pioneer the first self-driving car – a fusion of futuristic software and traditional manufacturing. The players in this high stakes race are an odd mix: Daimler AG, GM, Tesla, Uber Technologies, Apple and, wait for it… Google. Yes, the one and only Google.

Apparently, Google has a self-driving car team in place with 170 experts already on board and recruitment underway for dozens more. I wonder if there is a place for me on the team. No, I am not an engineer. But if the salary is right, I might sign on as a crash test dummy.

But seriously, the whole idea makes me very uncomfortable for a plethora of reasons.

First of all, do we need a self-driving car? Are our lives so busy, our brains so overtaxed, that we cannot spare the brain power to operate a vehicle the old fashioned way? If that is the case, we have bigger problems to solve.

Google and automobile in the same sentence just seems wrong. I understand that Google would develop the software and partner with a manufacturer to build the next generation metal box on wheels There is still a disconnect that sends up danger flares.

What happens when the Googlemobile breaks down? Do I send an e-mail to Google tech support and wait three days only to be told to reboot the wireless router?

I do not want to be anywhere in the vicinity when the Googlemobile 1.0 firsts hits the highway. Every new software program has bugs. Who will pick up the pieces when an undetected bug in the program causes the Googlemobile to make a hard right turn while doing 80 clicks per hour in heavy traffic on the 401?

On that subject, Google is reportedly talking with U.S. federal and state regulators about the changes that will be necessary to motor vehicle safety standards. In this kind of futuristic scenario, the law often has a difficult time catching up with technology.

And finally, is this yet another because we can technology initiative? Or perhaps more accurately, another because we can make a crap load of money from it whether it is a good idea or not technology leap. (I warned you – technology curmudgeon at the wheel.)

The big money in this case is not in the sale of the vehicle. It is in the stream of user data that self-driving cars will need. The possibilities no doubt have the tech companies foaming at the mouth with anticipation.

One of the most apt metaphors I have heard in quite some time applies here. Technology is like chocolate – rich, sweet and satisfying, but too much of it can make you sick. The autonomous car may be the where the line is officially crossed.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

 Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Donald Trump: Better the Devil You Know?

Hmmm, is Donald Trump tapping into a simmering discontent that is deeper and wider than anyone realizes?

Confession: I do not pay much attention to U.S. politics. Truthfully, politicians in general, north or south of the border, leave a bad taste in my mouth. I stay in touch with Canadian politics enough to be an informed citizen. However, I consciously tune out what happens on the political scene in the U.S. in the interests of safeguarding my sanity.

But it is impossible to be unaware of the unsettling situation that is unfolding in the U.S. presidential primaries. I am referring, of course, to the rising political star of The Donald. Few people considered him a credible candidate at the outset. The prevailing opinion was that he was merely an outrageous sideshow to the main act. Clearly, that was a serious mistake.

The Republican establishment is in panic mode now that Trump has emerged as the early leader among their candidates – winning 10 states out of a total of 15 primaries (as of the writing of this post) and amassing 124 more delegates than his nearest rival Ted Cruz. Against all odds, his crude, inflammatory style is gaining traction and making him the front runner.

In crisis management mode, the Republicans activated Milt Romney to try and burst the Trump balloon. Romney came out with all guns blazing in a speech where he lambasted Trump as lacking the temperament to be president. Unfortunately, that proved to be another misstep. All they accomplished was to give Trump another opportunity to fire his own well-oiled canon.

On the Democrat front, Hilary Clinton is surging to the forefront. No doubt her supporters are tickled to death at the idea of a Clinton / Trump presidential race – convinced it would be a slam dunk for Clinton. But perhaps they should be worried. Trump thrives on being the outsider.

The burning question is how a shoot-from-the-hip, down-in-the-mud maverick can be winning the hearts and souls of a significant chunk of Americans. Conventional wisdom suggests that he should be shooting himself in the foot each time he spews another fundamentalist, and sometimes extremist, conservative opinion. But instead he keeps gaining more traction.

What does this tell us about U.S. politics? Perhaps the message is that many Americans are disillusioned by politicians in general. So much so that they are willing to risk throwing their support behind a wild card because he at least can be trusted to really believe what he is saying. It may be more his transparency than his platform that is winning him supporters.

And we all tend to forget that Trump is, as he describes himself, “the very definition of the American success story”. Like him or hate him, you cannot dispute the fact that he is an enormously successful businessman. There is a reason he has 7 million social media followers. He knows how to play the game as well as anyone and better than most.

Donald Trump is the ultimate dark horse candidate and is also – if you will pardon the mixed metaphor – playing the better the devil you know card in masterful fashion.

Many refuse to believe that Trump could actually land in the Oval Office. But we had better pay attention to the reality he is exposing concerning how disillusioned voters have become about the integrity of politicians. If you are still in denial, I have two words for you: Rob Ford.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Full Speed Ahead to February 29: Buyers, Sellers & the Midnight Oil

Hmmm, what is an NHL GM to do when the numbers just do not add up to the perfect team?

We are closing in on the annual NHL trade deadline which is giving sportscasters plenty to debate and analyze. Our stumbling Maple Leafs are front and center in that dialogue with their burn it the ground and rebuild from the smoldering ashes philosophy. The Leafs are banking draft picks almost as fast as Donald Trump is acquiring enemies.

Virtually every opinion espoused by the sports analysts makes at least one reference to the salary cap. The salary cap, for those of you who are not hockey fans, is a negotiated agreement between the NHL Players Association and the team owners. It stipulates that the total 2015/2106 payroll for a team cannot exceed $71.4 million.

The analysts, armed to the teeth with statistics, like to throw around terms like tight to the cap as they speculate who the buyers and the sellers are in the race to the deadline and the constraints the buyers face in staying within the cap.

You would think that the princely sum of $71.4 million would be plenty to work with for one team. But the equation changes quickly when you take into account that the elite players in the league devour the lion’s share of the pot.

For example, here is what the top five highest paid players in the league this season are earning (not including off-ice endorsement contracts) and what percentage that represents of the maximum team payroll. 

Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins: $16.5 million (23%)
Jonathan Toews, Chicago Black Hawks: $16 million (22.5%)
Patrick Kane, Chicago Black Hawks: $14.7 million (20.5%)
Shea Weber, Nashville Predators: $14.1 million (20%)
Alexander Ovechkin, Washington Capitals: $13 million (18%)

Let’s put those figures into perspective. If you or I are fortunate enough to average $50,000 per year over a 45 year working career, we will have earned a cumulative total of $2.25 million by the time we retire. That figures sounds impressive until you consider it is only 13.5% of what Sidney Crosby will earn this year alone.

NHL GMs are staying up to the wee hours these days creatively number crunching to maximize who they can acquire within the salary cap limitation. But I am not inclined to be too sympathetic to their plight. After all, the old burning the midnight oil metaphor takes on a whole new meaning when you have $71.4 million worth of oil to fuel your lamp.

Special offer to Maple Leafs GM Lou Lamoriello. I will sign on with the Maple Leafs for the bargain basement price of $500,000 if it will help them return to respectability. I may be 25 years too old with a wonky back. But half a million buys a lot of acupuncture treatments.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Forged in Fire: History Collides with Reality Television

Hmmm, is reality television poised to burn itself out in the blacksmith’s workshop?

Reality television has been around for quite some time now. It seemed like a fad when it all began a couple of decades ago. Little did we know how big it would become.

Survivor, now in its 15th season, is generally credited as ushering in the era of reality shows. But the roots of the genre dates back as far as 1992 with a show entitled Real World in which 7 or 8 young adults were picked to temporarily live in a new city together in one residence while being filmed non-stop. Can you say Big Brother?

The History Channel has jumped into the fray with the ostentatiously name Forged in Fire which features master blacksmiths. In each episode, four blacksmiths compete in a three round competition to forge bladed weapons. The winner receives the princely sum of $10,000 and, more importantly, bragging rights as the day’s champion.

It seems the channel has a lot riding on it as it is being promoted relentlessly. An annoying ticker ad runs across the bottom of the screen when I watch a movie on The History Channel.

I cannot resist speculating on the discussion that took place around the boardroom table when the series was first proposed. I envision Wonder Kid Junior Executive matched against Grizzled Veteran Senior Executive as the debate took place.

Grizzled Veteran Senior Executive: A reality show? Really? That doesn’t seem to fit our programming model.

Wonder Kid Junior Executive: Oh yes it does! We’re going to do a reality series about… wait for it… blacksmiths! What says history more than a blacksmith?

Grizzled Veteran Senior Executive: Blacksmiths? You can’t be serious, kid. What in the hell would the competition be about? Who can make the best horseshoe?

Wonder Kid Junior Executive: You’re such a skeptic. We have to get with the times. Picture this: Forged in Fire – The battle to create the best blade. It will be epic!

Grizzled Veteran Senior Executive: Yeah right, epic. Not the word I would choose. Can they at least sing while they’re working? Maybe we could get Simon Cowell to host it.

Wonder Kid Junior Executive: You have to picture it. A shower of sparks. Flashing metal. The classic blacksmith’s forge. It’s got it all. It can’t miss!

Grizzled Veteran Senior Executive: I need a drink. Who has the keys to the liquor cabinet?

I will concede that Forged in Fire has the ring of metaphor to it. Brawny, rough-around-the-edges men, and perhaps women to broaden the appeal, testing their mettle (pun intended) against fire and iron. Only the most skilled and fearless will survive…

Unless, of course, the ratings suck in which case Wonder Kid Junior Executive gets the axe, or should I say the anvil, and the Blacksmith’s fire burns no more.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.

Shape-shifting Villains in the Lawless Ether of Cyberspace

Hmmm, how can we protect our virtual presence from being appropriated by unscrupulous cyber marauders?

Occasionally, I attempt to remember what life was like before we all became attached at the hip to our computers. It was a simpler, slower-paced time that I yearn to recapture. But truthfully, I have difficulty recalling those lost years. It may be that, after 57 years of continuous use, my memory has too much history crammed into it to recall the good old days with high def clarity.

What I can say with confidence is that I did not expend much time or energy back then worrying that someone might try to impersonate me. The likelihood of that happening was so remote it was not worth considering.

But this is 2016. Much of the world is Wi-Fi wired and a significant percentage of us have a virtual presence. It is comparatively easy now for tech savvy villains to sneak through a back door in cyberspace and pretend to be someone else.

If you are a Facebook friend of mine, you may know that I had that unpleasant experience this past week. Some unscrupulous person put up a bogus Facebook profile in my name, although they slipped up by misspelling my first name. This individual then proceeded to send friend requests to people who are already friends with me.

Fortunately, several people alerted me to the scam and I was able to respond in short order to rectify the situation. I notified Facebook who, I must admit, reacted very quickly to remove the fake profile. For security purposes, I also changed my password.

I can now boast, or bemoan, that I have had my blog hacked twice and have been impersonated once. I am not sure if I should be flattered or should consider a virtual exorcism.

At the end of the day, it was merely a nuisance that I had to spend an hour or so to put right. However, the troubling part of the experience is that I do not know why this person chose me to impersonate, how or if they were planning to profit from doing so, and whether they got away with it long enough to do some damage I cannot yet detect.

The sobering reality which this episode underscores is that our virtual presence, as much as we try to safeguard it with user names and passwords and security questions, is pretty much defenceless. It lives in the nebulous region know as cyberspace which is essentially a take-your-chances wilderness where regulation is more of a theory than a practice.

It occurs to me now that cyberspace is rather like the lawless Wild West West sucked into The Matrix and reborn in 21st century form. Yes, I know that is a rather tortured metaphor. But it works if you let it sink in for a moment.

We are in need a Wyatt Earp avatar to gallop in on his virtual reality horse with laser beam six-shooters and arrest the cyber outlaws. Perhaps Neo, the chosen one, could lend a helping hand in tracking down the shape-shifting villains

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to “Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That Make Me Go Hmmm” at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in the “Subscribe to this Blog: How To” instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week.