Michael Robert Dyet's Blog, page 14

AI: The Rising Tide

Hmmm, is yourjob about to sink beneath the rising AI tide?

Oh, how I longfor the good old days when we only had to worry about being replaced by amachine or a computer. Now we have to add Generative Artificial Intelligence(AI) to the list of threats to our job security.

In my case, itis not an issue any longer as I will be officially retired as of March 31st.I was able to hold onto my job and the salary it brings with it long enough tofinish my working career despite the non-human entities trying to supplant me.

Before I delvedeeper into this issue, let me state that I have an issue with the term itself.It falls into the same category as vegetarian lasagna. My point of view: If thereis no meat in it, you cannot call it lasagna. Similarly, if it is artificial,you cannot call it intelligence. The experts will no doubt disagree with me onthat point.

If you are stillin the workforce, the news is not good. An article I just read reported that ina survey of 3,000 managers: a) 65% admitted that they would be happy to replaceemployees with AI tools if the work was comparable b) nearly 70% said it wouldbenefit their business financially if they were able to replace employees withAI tools.

These arealarming statistics. If you are wondering if your job is at risk, the roles thatsupposedly could be replaced with AI include: web development, financialadvisor, sales, public relations, human resources, graphic designers, marketing,administrative.

How ironic thatweb development is on the list. If you are working in that particular field,the job description for the person in the next cubicle may well be: Make thepeople around you obsolete.

The ethical questionof whether we should allow machines, computers and AI to replace real, talkingand breathing human beings would appear to be on the brink of becoming mute.The replacement value system is along the lines of: Because we can, weshould as soon as humanly (pun intended) possible. How the displacedworkers will earn a living seems to be relegated to the not my problem category.

An equally frighteningconsideration is how the cyber crime underground community must be salivatingat the prospects. Imagine the dollar figure a ransomware pirate could demand oncehis or her program locks out the AI program that a worker-free company is now relyingon. I am thinking six figures at a minimum. Add a few zeros for Fortune 500 companies.

Generative AIis a rising tide that arguably has no banks to contain it. If you are thinkingof retiring early, now might be a good time before the shrinking island you areon slips beneath the tide for good.

~ Now Available Online from Amazon,Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage –Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Untilthe Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner inthe Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions forsubscribing are provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructionspage in the right sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once

In the News: From Rapporteurs to Racoon Dogs

Hmmm, why do news headlines bringout the worst in me?

I gave up reading newspapers manyyears ago. I get my news fix in bytes off the radio and the first 15 minutes ofthe evening TV news. A quarter hour of news stories telling my why I should notstop out the front door is more than enough.

But occasionally I scan thenews headlines online for a quick look at what is going on in the world.Yesterday these are the headlines I found and the response they provoked in me.

Who is David Johnston, thenew special rapporteur on alleged Chinese Interference in Canadian Elections?

What the hell is a rapporteur?Most likely political double-speak for a patronage appointment with a ridiculousremuneration package to ensure the report exonerates the government.

The ROM Collected Millions inWage Subsidies during COVID-19 closures. Now the Canadian Government Wants theMoney Back

Good luck with that. Whoapproved the ROM for the wage subsidy in the first place? Probably a bureaucratwho took early retirement and moved to Bora Bora to escape their mistakes.

Justin Trudeau Blasts PierrePoilievre Over Election Media Response, Says He Should Know Better

Oh, great. More political backstabbing,grandstanding and mudslinging. Since when did knowing better everstop a politician from taking a shot at his rival?

It Wasn’t Your Imagination:Ontario Experienced Its Darkest Winter in More Than 80 Years

Tell me something I do notknow. There are half a dozen ways I could interpret this statement and none ofthem have anything to do with sunlight.

Luke Schenn’s Homecoming ‘ADream Come True’ for Maple Leafs Defenceman

The dream come true is gettingpaid several million dollars a year to work 60 minutes three times a week withthe summer off. Talk to me when the Leafs finally bring home the Stanley Cup again.

Richard Branson’s VirginOrbit Pauses All Work, Reportedly Furloughs Staff

Branson is filthy rich. Hecould carry the Virgin Orbit staff for a year on the interest alone on hisfortune. Instead, he locks the door and looks for a financial bailout.

Racoon Dogs Emerge as PossibleCOVID-19 Source in New Analysis

Racoon dogs? Margaret Atwoodcalled. She is demanding royalties. COVID-19 is yesterday’s news. There must bemore productive ways for these scientists to use their time.

Now you know what I seldomread the newspaper. It brings out the cynical and sarcastic side of me. It isbetter to ignore the headlines, do my own thing and spin metaphors for my nextnovel which most definitely will not include rapporteurs or racoon dogs.

~ Now AvailableOnline from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie,Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author ofUntil the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a doublewinner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribing are provided in theSubscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in the right sidebar. If you’re reading this post on another socialnetworking site, come back regularly to my page for postings once a week

Metaphors of Life Journal: The Law of Profits, CEO Rhetoric and the Trickle-Down Theory

Hmmm, how did we get caught up in theviscous circle of the law of profits?

The news has been buzzing for the last fewmonths about the record profits that big corporations have been raking in overthe past year. At a time when households and small businesses are struggling tomake ends meet, the trend line for corporate profit charts is angling steeplyupwards off the top of the chart.

The mega corporations are being accusedon many fronts of profiting off inflation with price or fee increases severalpercentage points higher, in some cases close to double, the rate of inflation.Their denials do not carry much weight.

I did a bit of Google research for my ownedification. The statistics I found indicate the profits of Canadiancorporations increased by 10% over 2022 which equates to $91 billion inadditional profit. As a share of the Gross Domestic Product (GDP), after taxprofits have reached a 60 year high. Troubling figures no matter how you interpretthem.

The CEOs of Canada’s big three grocerychains were summoned to appear before a Parliamentary Committee this week to begrilled by MPs on soaring profits. All three were in full-on deny, deny, denymode. No, we are not profiting off ofinflation. Our profit margins on grocery items are very low. Stop blaming us.We are as pure as the driven snow.

I envision an interview with a mega-corpCEO going something along these lines:

Interviewer: How do you justifymaking record profits when so many people are struggling to get by?

MegaCorp Exec: I don’t understand the question.

Interviewer: Each yearfor the last few years your profits have increased incrementally beyond therate of inflation. How do you justify such high profits?

MegaCorp Exec: I’m confused. You seem to be implying that record profits are a badthing.

Interviewer: I’m saying it’s unethical and immoral for your corporation to generate huge profits that in some cases are driving customers into poverty.

MegaCorp Exec: Immoral? When did morality become a business consideration?

Interviewer: I’m appalledthat you would say such a thing!

MegaCorp Exec: Let’s back up a moment. You need to understand the bigger picture. Ifmy corporation does not achieve record profits each year, I won’t get my recordperformance bonus each year. If I don’t get my record performance bonus, I won’tbe able to buy a new luxury yacht every three years. If I don’t buy a luxuryyacht every three years, the luxury yacht builder corporation will not achieve recordprofits and the owner of the luxury yacht company won’t be able to buy a newHummer every three years. And so on and so on. I have to do my part to make thetrickle-down process work.

Interviewer: The processyou’re supporting is: The rich keep getting richer while the poor keep gettingpoorer. How do you sleep at night knowing this!

MegaCorp Exec: I don’t understand the question.

The law ofprofits is a viscous circle that perpetuates and protects itself. Round and roundwe go and where we stop – if it ever does stop – nobody knows. Executives learnthe language of rhetoric as they climb the corporate ladder. The Exec whobecomes most proficient in the language earns the corner office. Good lucktrying to get a straight answer from him or her.

~ Now Available Online from Amazon,Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage –Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also the author of Untilthe Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which was a double winner inthe Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions forsubscribing are provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructionspage in the right sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week.

The Paperless Office: Do You Have Skin in the Game?

Hmmm, where do you standon the make paper obsolete initiative?

The Paperless Office concept has been around for longer than you mightthink. I did some research and discovered that the paperless world was a publisher’s slogan all the way back in themid-1970s. Those of us old enough to have been around back then are somewhatskeptical. If it has been spinning its’ wheels for 45+ years, what are the oddsit will finally take hold?

It was clearly a prematureprediction when it first emerged. The thinking was that computer technologywould make paper obsolete. But that backfired on the futurists. Improvements inprinter and photocopier technology made it easier to produce documents in bulkand as a result paper consumption increased. Oops, didn’t see that one coming,did they!

The concept has comeback around in recent years. The unstoppable, high speed train of technology,including the emergence and acceptance of digital signatures, has opened thedoor anew for the possibility. The driving force, of course, is cost savings –the holy grail of modern, do more with less, business thinking.

Admittedly, one of theobstacles to the Paperless Office istaking care of itself. Baby Boomers like me, who hate reading and processingbucket loads of information on a computer screen, are aging out of theworkplace.

The younger generationsare conditioned to consume information in digital format. It is their preferredmethod of consumption. Paper? We don’twant no stinking paper! E-mail the file to me or better yet put it in theCloud! So perhaps it is a concept whose time has finally come.

However, it occurs to methat the movement could end up dead in the water before it has a chance to gaina foothold. A lot of us are working from home now. Does the Paperless Office make any sense in an officeless business world? Oops, didn’tsee that one coming, did they!

And there may be anotherfly in the ointment. What about viruses, malware and ransomware? If allinformation is maintained exclusively in digital format, it increases theincentive for the developers of these malicious programs. They could literallyhold the world hostage.

Oops, didn’t see thatone coming, did they? Talk to Chapters-Indigo if you think I am overplayingthat risk.

In all seriousness,where you stand on the Paperless Officedebate depends on how much skin you have in the game. I am on the cusp ofretirement. T-minus 27 days and counting. I am a skeptic but more or lessneutral given that I am about to sign off.

If you are a Millennial,you are no doubt all-in on the idea. If you work for a paper manufacturer, youare likely arguing the other side of the equation while you contemplate acareer change.

As I become a retiree, Iwill watch the movement play out from the comfort of my easy chair as Icontinue to curse out my wireless printer for losing its Wi-Fi connection yetagain.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites of Passage– Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribingare provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in theright sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week

Metaphors of Life Journal: The Chinese Spy Balloon

Hmmm,is there another interpretation for the infamous spy balloon that the U.S. shotdown?

TheChinese balloon that was shot down by American forces recently has been allover the news. The U.S. claims that China has a fleet of such surveillanceballoons. China maintains that the fleet are weather balloons and that this onesimply got away from them.

Ionly just learned that the balloon was in fact detected a few days earlier thanwe heard about it. It apparently passed north of the Alaska Aleutian islands onJanuary 28 and entered Canadian air space between January 30 and 31 before itsdiscovery was announced by the Pentagon on February 2 while it hovered over theU.S. Midwest.

Thediscovery of the balloon resulted in NORAD adjusting their radar to findsimilar objects which led to the detection and shooting down of three unidentifiedobjects over the U.S. and Canadian air space a week later. The U.S. hasindicated that these objects do not appear to have come from China or any othercountry and did not have surveillance capabilities.

Itis easy to let our imagination go wild and attach all kinds of unnerving andworrisome significance to these developments. As you may know, I am inclined tolook at these incidents through the lens of metaphor which takes me in adifferent direction.

Isee the Spy Balloon as a metaphoricalWord Balloon hanging over all us – arandom act of metaphor to remind us that if we spend too much time sky-gazingfor theoretical threats we may miss the very real blessings that lie right atour feet.

~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions forsubscribing are provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructionspage in the right sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week.

Can You “Figure it Out”?

Hmmm, if you don’t knowwhat bus to take, how will you ever get where you need to go?

I had the privilege ofattending the Willow Creek GlobalLeadership Summit a few times earlier in my life. It is a leadership eventcreated by Willow Creek Community Church in the suburbs of Chicago that hasgrown into an internationally recognized event.

In those days, WillowCreek Church founder Bill Hybels always gave the opening address at the Summit.I remember one address in particular where Bill talked about a lesson hisfather taught him early in life that has paid many dividends.

Bill was in high schoolat the time. A ski trip was organized that he wanted to join. His father agreedto pay the cost which included a bus trip to the ski resort. On the day he leftfor the trip, his father drove him to the bus station and parked in front ofit. The conversation from there went something like this:

Bill’sFather: Okay, away yougo

Bill: What bus do I take?

Bill’sFather: Figure itout.

Bill: What do I do when the bus arrives?How do I get to the resort?

Bill’sFather: Figure itout.

Bill: What do I do when it’s time toleave?

Bill’sFather: Figure itout.

Bill figured out whatbus to take, how to get to the resort and how to find his way home. Lookingback on the experience, he realized that it was his father’s way of teachinghim to be self-sufficient and think for himself – a skill which has served himwell over the years.

That story resonatedwith me then and still does today. In my generation, we were encouraged by ourparents and taught in our days of higher education to develop this ability. Itwas a life skill we needed in our arsenal and one that I was naturally inclinedto develop. That skill has defined my life in many ways over the years.

The teaching of thatskill has fallen by the wayside over the years. Young people today mature morequickly and do things in their teens that I did not dare to tackle until wellinto my twenties. Despite that advanced maturity, many do not seem to have beenequipped with the Figure It Outskill, although there are some who have the aptitude and develop it on theirown.

It may have something todo with the predominance of technology in our lives now. Machines and computershave taken over many tasks. They free us from those responsibilities but at thesame time stunt the development of our figureit out ability. Post-secondary education also bears some of theresponsibility for defaulting on their responsibility to teach this skill.

There is a ripple effectinvolved. The absence of the Figure it outskill can make one more inclined to take all things at face value and not sniffout the deceits that all too often lay just below the surface. If you can’t figure it out, you are less able to think for yourself and less able toseparate fact from fraud and duplicity.

And finally, if you areinhibited in thinking for yourself,you cannot access the power of metaphor which can be defined as the ability tounearth hidden connections between problems, objects or situations. Yes, youknew I was going to circle back here eventually!

We need to bring backthe nurturing of the figure it outability. If you cannot figure out what bus to take, you will not get where youneed to go.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That MakeMe Go Hmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribingare provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in theright sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week.

When I Grow Old and Wear the Bottom of My Trousers Rolled: A Digital Dissident

I grow old… I grow old…

I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled

~T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Hmmm, does it make me atrisk of being irrelevant and swept aside if I long for the days before we were sweptinto the vortex?

Now that I am less thantwo months from retirement, I may soon have to change the title of this seriesof posts to Now That I am Old. Butthat will not lessen my longing for simpler times before we were drawn into thevortex of digital age. Those blissful days…

When multitasking meantremembering to pick up bread and milk on my way home from work. Versus 2023when my brain is on the brink of overload at any given moment and insistent virtualalarms make me want to bash all digitally driven devices with a sledge hammer.

When friend meant someone I knew by name, bysight and by the sound of their voice. Versus 2023 when it means someone Iacquire by clicking a button, will likely never meet and only recognize bytheir avatar.

When the only numbers Ihad to remember where my house or apartment address, my telephone number andthe combination of the lock for my locker at work or at school. Versus 2023when I have more codes and passwords than brain cells left to remember them.

When there were only adozen television channels and accessing them was a one-step process. Versus2023 when the options abound but finding my way to many of them requires adigital dexterity I simply do not possess.

When security meantlocking my door and my car and having a dog to scare off prowlers. Versus 2023when there are so many virtual doors to my personal information and assets thatI cannot stand guard at all of them nor grasp the logistics of the digital locks.

When a good mechaniccould diagnose a problem with my car by the sound it was making. Versus 2023when a diagnostic device converses with the computer components in my car andmakes its best guess at the problem based on the infinite interaction of bitsand bytes.

When money was somethingI could hold in my hand and store in my pocket. Versus 2023 when money is fastbecoming a theoretical concept which grows or shrinks in value based on lineson a graph and can vanish without a trace while I sleep.

When I could I pick upthe telephone to call a company and speak to a live operator who would connectme to the person I needed to speak with. Versus 2023 when I have to go to warwith a soulless voice mail system, take ten minutes and three cycles throughthe system to find my way to the right option, be told that the estimated waittime is 45 minutes and be unceremoniously disconnected at the 43 minute mark.

If this longing for asimpler time dooms me to be irrelevant, so be it. I am and always will be a digitaldissident battling for survival in the vortex. When I retire very soon, I makestart a resistance movement. Will you join me in the cause?

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribingare provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in theright sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week.

Doomsday Clock: The Final Frontier

Hmmm, is the biggestdoomsday threat the draining reservoir of hope for the disenfranchised?

As if we needed one morething to worry about, the Doomsday Clockhas now been set at 90 seconds to midnight – the closest it has ever been tothe theoretical end of days in its 76 year history.

A bit of background incase you have not heard of this concept and your heart is racing at theimplication. The Doomsday Clock is ascientific concept which attempts to gauge how close humanity is to destroyingthe world.

It was developed by TheBulletin of Atomic Scientists – a group of atomic scientists who worked on the Manhattan Project which was the codename for the development of the atomic bomb during World War II. The clock isreset annually by experts on the Bulletin’s Science and Security Board and itsBoard of Sponsors.

The Doomsday Clock was originally conceived to measure nuclear threats.Along the way, the decision was made to factor climate change and otherexistential threats into the equation. The farthest away it has been fromtheoretical midnight was 17 minutes back in 1991. So we have in principle beenteetering on the edge for a generation.

The decision to move theclock forward 10 seconds this year was largely motivated by Russia’s invasionof Ukraine and the increased risk of nuclear escalation. But the continuingthreats of the climate crisis, and the breakdown of norms and institutions implementedin response to perceived threats liked COVID-19, were also factors.

Hence, the Doomsday Clock is a metaphor intended tospark conversation about critical scientific and associated issues. In thatregard, it is a very important tool to draw our attention to the state ofaffairs in society and how close we are to the no turning back threshold.

Aside from the threat ofcatastrophic events like nuclear war and the cumulative effects of things likeclimate change, I believe the DoomsdayClock has also become a measure of the state of discontent and loss of hopein our society.

The ranks of thedisenfranchised – those who feel there is no way forward for them and thatlashing out violently is their only means of expression – is growing rapidlyand incrementally. The evening newscasts report instances of these actsvirtually every day.

In the final analysis, Ibelieve it is this vulnerable and increasingly lost segment of society that isthe final frontier. Turning the DoomsdayClock back hinges on addressing their urgent needs and restoring hope totheir lives. For their acts of desperation may be what ultimately pushes theminute hand to metaphorical midnight.

~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribingare provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in theright sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week.

Metaphors of Life Journal: Spangles, Tortoiseshells and Buckeyes

Hmmm, do you need aninjection of colour to lift you above the blahs of a bleak winter?

My apologies for beingsilent in this space for a few weeks. I have been pushing hard to complete amajor project with an end of the month deadline. That deadline has now beenmet. Stay tuned for more on the fruits of that labour down the line.

It is my tradition atthis time of year to do a retrospective of winged wonders from summers past tocombat the rigours of winter. It has been a relatively mild winder in this areawith the exception of the storm of thegeneration which walloped us before Christmas. But it has also been a verygray and bleak winter with little sunlight to cheer us up.

So I offer you someflashes of summer exuberance to brighten your day.

Great Spangled Fritillary

Nothing recallsexuberant July days more than this gaudy butterfly that frequents meadowsthroughout the season. It is well and truly spangledon the outer wing with silvery spots etched with black. On the upper side,the flash of golden orange is unmistakable from any distance. It stores up theshafts of sunlight to feed them back to us in the gray months.

Milbert’s Tortoiseshell

I do not see Milbert’s Tortoiseshells very often andprize them all the more because of it. This one had the fashion sense to poseon white wildflower to showcase its blend of orange, brown and black withspeckles of white on the wing edges. It recalls a sun-bleached summer day inAugust when it wandered into my path.

Buckeye

Buckeyes show up late in the summer as theyexpand their range north across the Great Lakes. The striking, double-ringedeyespots, with black and silver frosting inside of them, have a tropical feeland are complimented by the squiggly orange bar edged with black. September is Buckeye month for followers of wingedwonders.

As the gray days ofwinter persist, let these bright beauties of summer lift your spirit. And maythey be a metaphor for the assurance that there is always sunlight at the endof the tunnel for the gray days that we all must endure in our lives.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka Things That MakeMe Go Hmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribingare provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in theright sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week.

Bail Money: Stand By for My Call

Hmmm, can I put you onstandby for my call from the police station?

I need to have arelatively simple change made to my bank account. In days long past you couldwalk into your branch and have the necessary work done then and there. No mess,no fuss – quick and easy. Alas, those days are long gone.

The process now requiresyou to enter into the lion’s den of the bank’s online telephone system which isexpressly designed to prevent you from ever speaking to a live person.

So my nightmare began. Iwent online and got the telephone number of my local branch. Dialing thatnumber sucked me into the bowels of the demon. I had to go four levels deep inthe system to find the option that more or less encompassed the simple serviceI need. Option selected.

I then landed in thequeue waiting for an available attendant to answer my call. When the call wasfinally answered, it was not my local branch but rather the centralized SupportCentre. They had sucked me deeper in to the monster. I explained the simplechange I needed to have made and provided my bank access card number asrequested.

I was then tossed intothe bottomless pit of security questions. The first few were straightforward:full name, last four digits of the telephone number associated with theaccount, the name of my employer. One would think that would be sufficient. Butno. Oh my, no.

The attendant asked mefor the date and amount of the last deposit to my account. Seriously? I indicated that would be my paycheque. I knew the dateand the dollar figure but not the few cents included in it. Not good enough.

The attendant then askedme for the date and amount of the last charge to my account. Seriously? I indicated that would be thelast time I visited the grocery store. I knew the date but not the amount. Notgood enough.

The attendant thenadvised me that I had failed the authentication system – Oh, the shame of it! –and that I would have to contact my branch directly. I replied: “That’s thenumber I dialed. I ended up with you.”.

She indicated she wouldtransfer me to my branch. But instead she transferred me back to the demon telephonesystem which I quickly realized would loop me full circle back to the SupportCentre. I hung up in disgust.

My next step was to logon to the bank’s website and attempt to book an appointment that way. I did asearch for “Book an Appointment”. It tells me that option is available underthe “Contact” menu. I access the “Contact Menu” but there is no such option listed.

I browsed through thewebsite and finally found my way to the “Book an Appointment” page which is clearlyburied under a mountain of bits and bytes to prevent anyone from finding it. Ihad to progress through five screens to book an appointment for tomorrow.

At that point, it hadtaken me well over an hour to book an appointment for a transaction which willtake no more than ten minutes when I actually get face to face with a liveperson who has the authority to do what I need.

There is a 50-50 chancethat this person will tell me: “You know, you could have done this through ourTelephone Support Centre.” I am not at all confident that I will be able tosummon the restraint not to punch him or her in the face at that point.

Long story short, I mayneed bail money. So please answer the phone if I call you.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me GoHmmm at its’ internet home www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog2 . Instructions for subscribingare provided in the Subscribe to this Blog: How To instructions page in theright sidebar. Ifyou’re reading this post on another social networking site, come back regularlyto my page for postings once a week