Kathryn Magendie's Blog: Lonely Woman's Guide to the Galaxy, page 13

State Parks and Thanksgiving & The Great Cornbread vs Bread debate!

Dupont State Park No mistake in this house I love a good cornbread dressing. GMR loves my cornbread dressing, too, as does most anyone else who eats it. GMR is from New Orleans, and I am a West Virginia HillWilliam who lived a lot of her time in the deep south and who had a Tennessee Daddy and an adoptive mom from an Arkansas farm. My mom always made cornbread dressing. I ate it as a child growing up; I watched her make it and  learned from her as I grew up; I took up that tradition.

GMR, however, prepares Erster Stuffing . . . or for you who aren't New Orleans born or haven't lived in or been to South Louisiana, that's Oyster Stuffing (he does call it dressing, but I refuse to *teeheehee*). This stuffing is made with Bread - no cornbread. Not a touch. And it has critters in it - oysters. What the fiddledeedee?
dupont state parkSo each Thanksgiving, I have an informal but rabid poll about this. What do you eat/prepare in your house at Thanksgiving (or during the holidays)? Is it WONDERFUL MAGICAL SUMPTUOUSLY DELICIOUS Cornbread Dressing. Or is it nasty soggy bread stuffing with maybe some snotty-looking critters in it? (*haw*)
Dupont State ParkI want to wish you all who observe to have a Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your families. Hug each other. Tell each other you love one another. Make the moments count. If there is any time at all to be mushy and to build broken bridges and to talk about gratitude and family and friends, well, now is surely that time.
cataloochie valley as seen through the barn from waterrock knob on parkway from water-rock knob parkway
Today, I bake my cornbread and we'll have a slice when it's warm from the oven - there's always plenty left over for my dressing. I'll bake my pecan (puh-cahn!) pie and my pumpkin pie, as well. GMR is brining the turkey (this really does work quite well), and he will make his erster stuffing (what-EVER --laughing--), and whatever else he will do ahead of time. I am lucky to have a GMR who loves to cook, but also who cleans up along-side of me so I don't have to do it all alone.
Blanchard Caverns
blanchard caverns99% of photos here on my blog are taken by me. The two cavern photos were not taken by me, but by my brother Tommy, from our Odyssey round-about from Texas to North Carolina, and they do not do these caverns justice much as he tried--they are just too majestic and awe-inspiring to fully capture in the dim light--Blanchard Springs Caverns in Mountain View Arkansas. In the caverns, it was as if some ancient civilization, or aliens, created the "sculptures." I'll have more photos later, I hope. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me (I rushed to Texas so quickly, I didn't grab it), but my brother did, so as soon as he can upload all the hunnerds of them from our Odyssey :-D I will share some more with you. (Our first State Park stop was below at Petit Jean State Park).

The photos of waterfalls above are from our own WNC Dupont State Park. And two below I took from the train ride my brother and I took on the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad.
from train (great smoky mountain railroad)

With GMR's friends, I also visited Cataloochie Valley (photos above and below) and Water-rock Knob at Blue Ridge Parkway (above). These are places, here in WNC, that GMR and I go frequently and never tire of it and are always awe-struck.
cataloochie valley from trail
We also visited Max Patch and walked a bit of the Appalachian (AppaLatchun not AppaLayshun) Trail.


I am awe-struck at the beauty of our parks and parkways.
And, how grateful I am for our National and State Parks. They are truly a national treasure that we oft-times can take for granted. Think of them when you go on vacations - many can be "right in your back-yard." They do so need our love and support.

turkeys at Cataloochie Valley- they won't be eaten, at least by humans, lawd!Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for all of you. *Blowing You All A Kiss*

Gratitude - photos, few words

There was a time when my big brother and I had not much of anything. For we were right on the edge of not even having a family, for my brother and I were to be scattered upon the winds to who knows where, separated.

Even when we found sanctuary, we were pretty poor. But we had a bed and we had a roof over our heads even if it was raggedy (but always clean), and we had a dad who wanted us and a brand-new 'stepmom' who wanted to adopt us --and she later did (along with our other brother who'd later come). So I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Family, friends, place, home, shelter, love, work, You All.











(and more family and friends, who I'd love to post pictures but don't want to without knowing if they'd want me to do that here on a public blog - She-Laughs and all . . . *smiling*)

Another unflattering photo of me (haw) and linky love

Silly ole Kat at Petit Jean State Parkvisit Petit Jean State Park's website

I wanted to write up about my brother's and my odyssey from Texas to North Carolina, taking the back roads, visiting State Parks, etc., but I'm still trying to catch up. I hope to have something written up next Wednesday, as I really want to talk about things we saw, and to talk up the State Parks, who need our support!

You know, I don't know how many unflattering photos of myself I have put out here on my blog, but one day I'm going to try to gather them up and post them all *laughing* - I mean, have I no vanity? I guess not  . . . haw. You can even see them in my gallery above  . . . teeheehee.

Today I'll leave you with some links, including the one for Petit Jean above.

Can't remember if I've ever mentioned LitStack, for the love of all things wordy.

And Friday Reads: Read Share Repeat.

Reader Unboxed: By Readers For Readers, and a sister of Writer Unboxed.

If you haven't already, and I think I have mentioned her before but she has a whole new thing on novel structure and etc for all you writers out there, then head to Kristen Lamb's blog. She talks a lot about social networking, too, and how to make it work for you better/smarter- and you don't have to be a writer to benefit from that - I have ordered her book about blogging so maybe I can derive some tips on how to spruce up this place, for it's feeling a little stale, ain't it folks? :-D.

OOPS50 - A sharing blog for women over 50 - just discovered this blog by visiting the Farmer's Market in Asheville.

Karen Elliott is having a "paint the writer's wagon" contest - signed copies of Tender Graces and Secret Graces are one of the prizes, but as well she has a gift card and the Hunger Grames books(not signed, but still), and those two prizes ain't nuttin to sneeze at so I danged ole promise it won't hurt my feelings if you choose one of those *grin*.

There has been a lot of talk and all about book lending on Amazon through Amazon Prime. I don't know what to think about it and as an author I sometimes have to just let all that flow around me and see "what will be," and as well, I trust my publishers, BelleBooks, to do what they must do to protect their authors and their business, and to sell books and etc etc. I do know BB has a temporary deal they had to fight tooth and claw to make sure we were protected and as far as I  know, Tender Graces and Sweetie are on that Amazon Prime program for what may be a limited time - and I say "may be" because seems some books, as I've read about on blogs, have been put there without permission - I don't know. I live in the Land of Confusion where many others live as we walk around with stunned expressions and go "ungh; ungh?" a lot.

Would I really like for my books to be in many many bookstores and libraries across the land? You bet I would! Are they in many many bookstores and libraries across the land? No. You can ask for them and they will order them, but they aren't readily there in some places, and sometimes people expect things to be There, Right Then. This is why Amazon becomes so powerful to/for/with small press publishers and their authors - because our books are physically there and digitally there and can go anywhere to anyone at a quick click. I have more to say on this, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Rose & Thorn's fall issue went live while I was in Texas. I hope you all will go by and take a look, read, let us and the authors know what you think. Our Guest Author is Daniel Wallace of Big Fish fame, and we have plenty more good stuff from writers and poets, and from our guest artist. We appreciate your support.


Almost forgot! GMR has art up at the Studio 86 in Waynesville. Including his "Red Dog" paintings (except he has Red Dog in French and I forgot what it is :-D). If you are in the area - stop by and see all the artists' works. October 19-November 12, 2011FREE. Artist Reception: November 4, 2011 from 6-9pm. Or if you like the Red Dog, he paints them with your fave team on the tag.


As always, visiting those vistors who leave a comment and a link is lovely. I know we are all busy, but I hope our blog community remains and grows. It can be such a wonderful source of information and contact with people all over the world. Yes, so can Facebook/Twitter, but our blogs take Our Selves just a little bit further.

That's enough for now. I once again want to thank you all for your support and love. To know of all these kind acts truly helped me through this, and my family as I shared with them your thoughts.

Thank you card, Photos, no words . . .

(. . . for all your thoughts, comments, mail, everything over the last weeks of my father's illness and then passing)

From Water-rock Knob, Blue Ridge Parkway:








Full Moon & Flying Squirrels from our Porch

 




Cataloochie State Park Misc:










Chubby Buns Squirrel at our feeder:



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Helping another author to FLY: Jessica Bell

[image error] Morning Friends! Y'all know I rarely rarely tout my books (though should I be? That's a question I often ask myself!) but when I can, I do love helping out another author to tout his/hers!

I've never tried this kind of promo as she is doing, and again, I often wonder if I should be - laughing - oh well, I suck at promo, don't I? *grinning*

I loved the song on Jessica's trailer, and if the rest of the cd is as good, and I expect it to be (and I'll be finding out for myself by obtaining my own copy), then Jessica is on her way. GO JESSICA!
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Today is THE day to help Jessica Bell's debut,  STRING BRIDGE , hit the bestseller list on Amazon, and receive the all-original soundtrack,  Melody Hill: On the Other Side,  written and performed by the author herself, for free!

All you have to do is purchase the book today (paperback, or eBook), November 11th, and then email the receipt to:


jessica.carmen.bell(at)gmail(dot)com


She will then email you a link to download the album at no extra cost!
To purchase the paperback: Amazon USA
To purchase the eBook: Amazon USA Amazon UK
To listen to samples of the soundtrack, visit iTunes.


If you are not familiar with String Bridge, check out the book trailer:


Rave Reviews for String Bridge:
"Jessica Bell's STRING BRIDGE strummed the fret of my veins, thrummed my blood into a mad rush, played me taut until the final page, yet with echoes still reverberating. A rhythmic debut with metrical tones of heavied dark, fleeting prisms of light, and finally, a burst of joy—just as with any good song, my hopeful heartbeat kept tempo with Bell's narrative." ~ Kathryn Magendie, author of Sweetie and Publishing Editor of Rose & Thorn Journal
"Poet and musician Jessica Bell's debut novel String Bridge is a rich exploration of desire, guilt, and the difficult balancing act of the modern woman. The writing is lyrical throughout, seamlessly integrating setting, character and plot in a musical structure that allows the reader to identify with Melody's growing insecurity as her world begins to unravel … String Bridge is a powerful debut from a promising writer, full of music, metaphor, and just a hint of magic." ~ Magdalena Ball, author of Repulsion Thrust and Sleep Before Evening
"Jessica Bell is a brilliant writer of great skill and depth. She doesn't pull back from the difficult scenes, from conflict, pain, intensity. She puts it all out there, no holds barred, no holding back. She knows how to craft a scene, how to develop character, how to create suspense. This is an absolutely brilliant debut novel. I look forward to reading her next novel, and next and next." ~ Karen Jones Gowen, author of Farm Girl, Uncut Diamonds and House of Diamonds

Saying goodbye to the dying without expectation

looking at daddyThe living place pressures upon the dying—even if both are unaware of the dynamics of this dance while it is occurring.

So many times I walked into my father's hospital room and at the times he was awake and aware, I wore "Expectations" as a heavy cloak. Oh, at the time, I didn't recognize this state of Expectation. This hanging in mid-air with the thought he'd somehow catch me in his arms and hold me close and say, "It's all going to be okay." After all, he's a daddy, right? And I'm a daughter, right? That is how it should be, right?

I thought we'd look at each other and in our eyes were all our years behind us that we'd share some secret laughs and cries about, but we'd forget the regrets and hurts. And then our eyes would change slightly and all the years ahead of us that we weren't going to ever have again would display as poignant gleaming but no tears allowed to fall, for that would be too much too much—my father and I, eye to eye, heart to heart, moment to moment, together, one person for just that speck of time as we communicated through time and space our Last together.

I didn't get what I wanted. Instead, my father went about the business of his dying in his own way. I couldn't understand all those ways, and at times I was shamed at my frustration, my restless standing by his bedside, searching him out, waiting, watching for The Moment—you know, like in the movies, right? Where there is this struggle between how things were but as the final moments slip away, there is the connection and all is understood and there is some kind of resolution that has the audience dabbing their eyes, and then the death arrives but the connection has been made, so there is no Expectation lingering.

But Real Life isn't always like the movies, now is it? Real life brings us surprises and tosses and turns and slaps and disappointments along with the wonders and beauties.

My father had his own Expectations and needs and desires and struggles at his end. Perhaps he didn't see the need for that Last Connection I so sought. Perhaps he thought we were done, that we'd had our say, that we were just fine. Perhaps he knew I'd be okay. Perhaps he was unaware of everything but the need to breathe and Stay until he knew there was no staying—and then, it was a private thing between him and death. Perhaps he was remembering his youth and how strong he was. Or, perhaps he gave the eye to eye to the one who needed it the more.

Just as in life, there are things we children seek that we may never find. We can always be that little child staring up at our fathers, waiting for them to heal the wound on our knee, and they, well, they can't see the scraped knee, for they are too tall, and their eyes are on other things—non-fatherly things, bigger things, things that have nothing to do with something that is so large and complex to us while invisible or tiny to them.

Once we brought him home, I held his hand almost continually at that last of his life, afraid to leave his beside, keeping a finger on his pulse, whispering everything I had to say into his ear, believing he heard me, seeking out the resolution I so craved. I also slept by his side the night before he died, finger glued to pulse, thinking he may awake, suddenly turn to me and tell me everything I needed to hear—even if I didn't know just what that would be.

He didn't wake. It was a one-way conversation. He slipped away and no holding onto his hand would keep him with me. No Expectations would hold him to the earth.

It was only in my at last facing this Expectation that I was able to let it go. Let him go. Let him be who he was in his life and in his death. The dying did not change him, and why would I expect it to be so? He was the man he'd always been. He loved me, and was proud of me, and really, after all, was there a need for that eye to eye moment of poignancy, of saying goodbye in the way I Expected? Instead, there is only the letting go by accepting what is and ever was between my father and me.

*looks around, blinks in the Killian Knob sunlight, sees you all, smiles at you*

Good Morning Friends.

I'd hoped to have photos of the Odyssey my brother and I took here there and yonder, but since we only had his camera, I will have to wait for them. He was on his way home to Texas and hit a metal pipe - all the gas poured out. Luckily, he'd stopped at the Arkansas rest stop and that's when he discovered this, instead of when flying down the interstate where I shudder to think . . . *can't think of that!*

From last Monday until Friday, we were in: Texas, Arkansas, Missouri, a teeny bit of Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, and North Carolina. We did every bit of our travel from a map -- no GPS, no mapquest, nothing but state maps and our sense of direction. We took a lot of back roads, and saw some beautiful country-side. More later.

So, today, as I still am settling in and finding my legs from all that has happened, I will leave you with some photos I took yesterday of the lingering fall colors from a hike on my mountain at Killian Knob.

Once again, I am so appreciative of your thoughts for my family and me in the illness and then loss of our father. I read every one. All of them. Thank you.

Odyssey . . .

Daddy and meFrom my Facebook Page-- My brother and I are on an Odyssey of sorts, left Texas and headed in a northwestern direction, then we'll go in a north or southeastern direction where he will eventually take me back home to NC and he'll go back to TX. We will visit one place that has special meaning regarding our dad. But for now, we are in Arkansas somewhere. It's as if we are nearing the event horizon of a black hole, there's that place where time seems to stop, even if it hasn't really. I am so appreciative of all of your thoughts/prayers/mail/everything. Off we go again soon. Will be back again later. ♥




one of my favorite photos of my dad

To My friends . . . My father ....

My father passed away last night with his family surrounding him.

I was here in Texas for three weeks as you know, returned to my cove for a couple of days, and then flew back here on Monday. We bought him home from the hospital to hospice care at his home on Wednesday- he was so happy to be home.

He knew of all of your thoughts and wishes and prayers and comments and emails and etc. I told him, and we read out loud what you all were saying so he could know how so many people where thinking of him - on twitter and facebook and here and all over this old earth people were thinking of my father - this I will never forget and will always be grateful.

Thank you. My last weeks, days, and hours with my father are something I will treasure forever.

I will return as soon as - well, you understand - a little time and I will be back.

I am blowing you all a kiss.

I want to tell you of my dream, though - I can't help to tell about it because I feel it means something even if only to my brain doing something to give me comfort - but I was lying with my dad in his hospital bed yesterday early afternoon or evening while he was still here but slipping away from us, and I fell asleep and my head was touching his head and I was holding his hand and right before I woke, I had a dream of a beautiful horse flying into the sky - up up up it galloped into the sky - and there was blue, either the sky or the horse or both - and I thought "oh how beautiful, how lovely" and then I woke and I had the most peaceful feeling - I cannot describe this peaceful feeling, but it was through my entire body, and I felt in a daze from it. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and felt.

Thank you all, my friends. You just being "here" and "there" means more than you know

Photos: No Words - fall in the cove; after "Peak" is still vivid

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