Phyllis Edgerly Ring's Blog, page 44
February 1, 2014
We will all, verily, abide …
Thirty-five years ago this week, my husband and I, on one of the coldest nights of our lives, faced each other and declared, “We will all, verily, abide by the will of God.”
There were seven other people in the room with us that night, two of them the witnesses required for our Bahá’í marriage to be legal.
Most of the evening is a blur, quite frankly, though I do remember one especially poignant moment when my mother read a prayer, and these words stood out: “Cause them to become the signs of harmony and unity until the end of time.”
These were still echoing in my head when, as we drove toward Canada for our wedding trip, Jon remarked that he had also noticed the spirit of what those words evoked when he felt a whole new significance about the vow we’d each spoken. The essentials of a Bahá’í marriage ceremony can seem so simple that it’s easy to overlook their depths. 
“I realized,” he told me, “that when I said, ‘We will all, verily, abide by the will of God’, I was referring not just to the two of us, but something we were committing to with every one there with us, supporting our marriage, and our future children, and every soul that we’ll know. THAT was the commitment we are making. And our marriage itself is WHERE we’re committing to do that.”
And indeed, the spiritual resonance of that vow has been with us ever since, though we had no idea where it would take us. As another Year of the Horse opens, we’re naturally remembering the last one, 12 years ago, which we spent in China. The spirit of our marriage vow was and is a foundation for us as parents, accompanies our every shared decision, our many travels, the bonds we forge with others, even our reconnection with our mutual childhood home of Germany.
In this past year, I finally had the opportunity to dedicate two books to this partner, this soul mate, who abides with me at the very center and core of my life and being. What I recognized as I wrote those dedications is that our marriage is a means by which we help each other learn to be encouraged about the potential in our truest selves, and kind about the struggles and confusions of our very human ones. I’m coming to believe that this is the essence of what that vow we said is pointing to.
There are some things we cannot know or understand without the passing of time, and the accumulation of experience, as well as reflection on that experience. What I feel more deeply each day is that the commitment of our marriage, the fortress for well-being that it is designed to be in the advancing – and spiritualizing – of civilization, seems a little-understood jewel. But it is unquestionably an ever-revealing treasure that illuminates my life, and my heart, each and every day.
January 30, 2014
Resting in the way of winter
Photos: D. Kirkup Designs / http://www.etsy.com/shop/dkirkupdesigns
Though winter’s not always a season we welcome, it has valuable things to teach about cycles and life. Its revelations can be as subtle and indistinct as the image of this little squirrel through the glass, even though its outer manifestations can be startling and powerful.
In her Divining the Muse newsletter, writer Paula Chaffee Scardamalia suggests that “The Snow Queen” of winter offers us “an awareness of time and impermanence, of struggle and endurance, of ingenuity and insight.” We can benefit, she notes, by appreciating the invitation that winter sends us “to enter the stillness and silence of creative potential”. 
Author Linda Leonard writes, “A major obstacle to creativity is wanting to be in the peak season of growth and generation at all times … but if we see the soul’s journey as cyclical, like the seasons … then we can accept the reality that periods of despair or fallowness are like winter – resting time that offers us a period of creative hibernation, purification, and regeneration that prepares us for the births of spring.”
Writer Penney Peirce has shared an interesting perspective on inner cycles in her book, The Intuitive Way, where she describes a three-part process in which we first become centered in our own being, which then enables us to be inspired by forces greater than ourselves toward taking action and doing, which eventually leads us to achieving or having.
Once that tri-part process reaches its final stage in the cycle, we notice a lessening or fading of our energy, which she calls the signal and reminder that it’s time to do what our very cells know they must do: return to that centering in our being again. That’s when it’s time to rest, recharge, and be restored again to a state of being that’s ready for the next cycle of doing. That’s when it’s time to rest, and receive.
Cells do not restore their own energy after they’ve expended themselves in their task. They are restored by something beyond themselves. Cells seem to know innately the wisdom of returning to their fullest being through the “re-sourcing” of what it is that truly sustains them.
Doesn’t it seem, outwardly and inwardly, that this is what winter is inviting us to? To discover that, as Rumi said, “The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.”
January 27, 2014
Learning to appreciate the whole tapestry
Pictured below are one seeker’s thoughtful notes on the path of life, and the threads of our lives.
They’re a little allegorical reflection that goes straight to my heart this week. 
You may have to click on the photo’s journal page to read them more clearly.
I thank my fellow traveler for this important – and life-affirming – reminder.
Wishing each and all a very good final week in this flash-frame-fast first month of a barreling-forward year.
I read recently that life will automatically supply the pain and other elements that spur growth, and that it is up to us to find, receive, and create the joy.
I think it is also up to us to adopt the pace that allows, in balanced cycles, for reflection and evaluation along with movement and expansion.
January 24, 2014
Receptivity: a stance of patient curiosity
Photos: David Campbell / GBCtours https://www.facebook.com/GBCtours
Gleanings here and there:
You have the need and the right to spend part of your life caring for your soul. It is not easy… To be a soulful person means to go against all the pervasive, prove-yourself values of our culture and instead treasure what is unique and internal and valuable in yourself and your own personal evolution.
~ Jean Shinoda Bolen
Discipline is not a means of accomplishing more, but a stance of patience and curiosity to witness more of the faces of God in which we are already contained and cared for. ~ Andrew Shier 
Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint. ~ Henri Nouwen
Yin is the receptive, feeling, compassionate force within. It knows the wisdom of surrender and chooses to yield, even when everyone else is getting ahead. For Yin, withdrawing is entering. … Like an ecosystem, Yin considers all counterparts essential. So ideas that emerge from this level of imagination serve more than the individual cause – they serve the great ecosystem upon which we are all dependent. ~ Toko-pa
January 21, 2014
Eternal life begins with what lasts forever
Photo: Diane Kirkup / D. Kirkup Designs
http://www.etsy.com/shop/dkirkupdesigns
As the span between the trustworthy and the treacherous yawns chasm-wide in the world of human doing, it’s all too easy for my human nature to become preoccupied with and distracted by what, in the end, does not last. Or what merely imitates the past.
The potentiality of what humanity is called to now soars far, far beyond such things, and requires my attention and engagement in entirely new – Non-Ego-Willed – ways.
That’s when I remind myself where the true treasure lies.
That’s when I remember:
Photo: Saffron Moser
~ Nothing that exists remains in a state of repose. Everything is either growing or declining.
~ Kind forces are drawing us away from preoccupation with “fighting evil” toward creative, collaborative, and limitless building of the good.
~ We are here to mirror to each other the attributes of the Creator.
Photo: D. Kirkup Designs
~ An eternal life begins when we begin to acquire what lasts forever.
~ The gift of this age, bestowed on all humanity, is the right each one of us has to investigate reality independently.
~ The natural outcome of that expresses itself in willing, joyful acts of service –the personal and collective pathway for building the good.
How am I honoring and expressing that potential on my path?
How will it free my heart from the weight of a world’s unreal illusions this week? 
Authors Ron Tomanio, Diane Iverson and Phyllis Ring explore these themes in the recently released
With Thine Own Eyes: Why Imitate the Past When We Can Investigate Reality? from George Ronald Publisher.
Find more information here: http://grbooks.com/george-ronald-publisher-books/spirituality/with-thine-own-eyes-1380638499
January 19, 2014
The cheeseburger that beat out prejudice
Prior to his deployment to Korea in the early 1950s, a friend named Bernie was on his way home one steamy Southern day. Just 19, he’d grown up in the North and had just completed basic training down South. He was eager to get home to see his family before shipping out overseas.
Dressed in his stiff khakis, he was waiting at a bus depot in South Carolina on a day of triple-digit temperatures. His starched collar was tight around his neck, and as he entered the depot, he looked longingly at the air-conditioned waiting room on one side of the building.
Then he turned toward the cramped, stifling room marked “Colored”, went in and politely ordered a cheeseburger at its small counter.
The members of his family, like many African-Americans, had a wide range of skin colors because of a heritage of African, Native American, and European ancestry. The options this gave him as a light-skinned man were quickly brought to his attention when the man behind the counter leaned over to talk. The older man lowered his voice and told Bernie, “Now look, son, there’s no reason for you to get that nice uniform all messed up in here where it’s too hot to breathe. You’re serving your country; you deserve a break. Nobody here’s gonna know the difference if you go over there with the white folks and have your lunch where it’s cool. Go get comfortable before you take that long ride home,” he urged.
The roomful of people grew quiet as Bernie thanked the man, then told him, “I’m happy to stay right here.” His reply drew warm smiles, nods, and “God bless yous” from around the room. He was enjoying the first few bites of his lunch when two white police officers strode into the room. The lively chatter instantly ceased as the two made their way toward Bernie.
He braced himself for whatever might be coming, then was completely surprised by the placating tone of the officer who did all of the talking. “Now son, you’ve obviously made a mistake. We know you’re probably not familiar with the way we do things around here. There’s no reason for you to stay here where you surely don’t belong. You just take your lunch there and come on over next door where you can be cool and comfortable.”
When Bernie started to explain that he was happy to stay where he was, the man behind the counter gave him a warning look. So Bernie stopped talking.
Then the police officer continued, “Now, we sure don’t want any trouble here, son. You’d best come with us and be with your kind, where you belong.” The policeman’s tone had grown much sterner, Bernie noticed, echoing through the complete silence in the room. [image error]
The young soldier shrugged and rose to comply with the policeman’s request.The one who had done the talking stooped to lift Bernie’s duffel bag to his shoulder, and the other policeman carried Bernie’s plate and glass of milk carefully. Every set of eyes in the room was watching as the officers escorted the young black soldier as deferentially as if he were a visiting dignitary.
The most memorable moment came after the room’s double doors closed behind the three men. There was another beat of silence, and then the entire room broke into a chorus of delighted cheers and applause. Bernie, now a grandfather, says that he imagined that a great many of his ancestors were cheering right along with them.
Adapted from Life at First Sight: Finding the Divine in the Details –
January 14, 2014
On our way home
Photo: D. Kirkup Designs
Gleanings found here and there:
Never underestimate the power of compassionately recognizing what’s going on. ~ Pema Chödron
Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
Photo: Kathy Gilman
No matter how far you are from yourself, no matter how exiled you feel from your contribution to the rest of the world; as a human being all you have to do is enumerate exactly the way you don’t feel at home in the world, say exactly how you don’t belong, and the moment you’ve uttered the exact dimensionality of your exile, you’re already taking the path back to the way – back to the place – you should be.
You’re already on your way home. ~ David Whyte
January 10, 2014
With Thine Own Eyes
It’s turning into a lively, eventful year in this writer’s life.
George Ronald Publisher released With Thine Own Eyes this week, my first collaborative experience as a writer, on a work that has deep roots in my spiritual family tree.
My first glance at the publisher’s catalog listing for the book transported me back 38 years to a cozy little apartment in York, Maine. That’s where two of the kindest people I’ve known, Ted and Marian Lippitt, welcomed me with such love that my soul could finally recognize exactly where its home always is.
They helped me, young as I was, understand – and come to believe – that the very fact that we live in an imperfect world is a Divinely inspired invitation to turn toward what is of God, especially within our own hearts, as our best remedy, and response. And to treasure it as dearly as our own sight and life.
Thank you to George Ronald Publisher for helping us share this work, and my enduring thanks to co-authors Diane Iverson and Ron Tomanio whose company on life’s path is in my heart forever. With hearts full of love, and hope, we offer this invitation to explore these life-giving possibilities in such times of burgeoning change:
Photo: Nelson Ashberger
~ setting aside blind imitation of the past
~ learning to build the good rather than fighting evil
~ choosing acts of service out of our spiritual understanding
~ listening carefully to our intuitive voice
~ knowing our purpose
~ regarding our fears as illusory
~ acquiring a sin-covering eye.
Learn more and find ordering information for With Thine Own Eyes from George Ronald Publisher at:
http://grbooks.com/george-ronald-publisher-books/spirituality/with-thine-own-eyes-1380638499
January 8, 2014
Hope’s eternal address
Image courtesy Lauren Chuslo-Shur.
One day at work years ago, I discovered that my only available exit from a room would take me smack through a conversation a teen-age boy was having with my boss. The boy looked pale and nervous. My boss seemed stiff and guarded, though obviously listening carefully. Their exchange appeared to be one that each would prefer to keep private and I held back, knowing I couldn’t just walk through the middle of that.
Photo courtesy Saffron Moser.
Though I didn’t want to eavesdrop, snippets of their conversation floated my way, things like “really sorry” and “want to make up for it”. The teen-ager was doing most of the talking.
Finally, when I peeked out, I could see that the boy’s face looked relieved. My boss’ posture had also relaxed and they finally moved off together so I never had to interrupt them.
When I saw my boss put his hand gently on the boy’s shoulder, I knew I’d witnessed one of those quietly monumental things that happen in the smallest of moments. This boy had made good on the toughest part of trustworthiness — owning up and taking responsibility for his actions. Then he’d also taken the step many never quite find the courage for: making amends.
Such trustworthiness often blossoms out of truthfulness, the foundation of every human virtue. Just as any physical structure needs a foundation, so a life of any spiritual substance must be founded on truthfulness.
Photo: Nelson Ashberger.
To have capacity for this, however, I think we need (ongoing) training in life that helps us understand and appreciate its value. We also need to see it modeled in action. The very rarity of such trustworthiness in our culture today implies for me a considerable need for the kind of training that can polish gems like these within us from an early age.
As that teen-age boy and my boss walked away together companionably, the boy’s action, and my boss’ reception of it, radiated around them so perceptibly I could feel it. In an instant, as privileged observer, I knew that the spirit of this exchange was going to reach and affect the lives of people neither of them had even met yet. And, even more remarkably, ones they might never meet.
Those gems within us, the real wealth – the only wealth – are where all hope resides.
Adapted from:
Life at First Sight: Finding the Divine in the Details –
January 6, 2014
A practice of remembering
Photo: D. Kirkup Designs / http://www.etsy.com/shop/dkirkupdesigns
What a heavenly potentiality God has deposited within us! What a power God has given our spirits! He has endowed us with a power to penetrate the realities of things.
Photo: D. Kirkup Designs / http://www.etsy.com/shop/dkirkupdesigns
~ ’Abdu’l-Bahá
Fidelity to your heart’s deepest dream isn’t primarily a matter of self-discipline or productivity systems. It’s more a practice of remembering—that this life is jewel-like, radiant, and fleeting like the dew on a spider’s web.
Photo: D. Kirkup Designs / http://www.etsy.com/shop/dkirkupdesigns
~ Eric Klein
Yin is the receptive, feeling, compassionate force within. It knows the wisdom of surrender and chooses to yield, even when everyone else is getting ahead. For Yin, withdrawing is entering. It’s there that we gestate our dreams, refine our intuition, and have a center from which to interrelate!
~ Toko-pa
