Laurie Sandell's Blog, page 351

What's a girl to wear to Heidi Klum's Halloween party when she's *not* a supermodel?

[image error][image error]Every Halloween for the past I don't know how many years, I've chosen to dress up in a costume that is funny, clever, inspired, topical, or  smart–but not hot. Never hot. One year I was Jon Benet Ramsey. Two years in a row I went as Jocelyn Wildenstein, the cat lady who had all that plastic surgery. Oh, OK–I once went as Angelina Jolie, but I was covered in plastic babies and wearing a Baby Bjorn. Then a few years ago, I discovered a genius website called "FLDS Crafts," created by actual members of Zion Ranch, those crazy Polygamist women who had their kids taken away from them. The site brought together my twin Halloween passions: looking both hideous and hilarious. I've never been happier wearing that dress. So last night my friend Ariel Foxman invited me to Heidi Klum's annual Halloween party at Lavo, some nightclub in midtown.

[image error]Since this has become the Halloween party to attend, I thought, wouldn't it be fun to look hot for a change? Put on a swingy wig, wear fishnets, maybe a sexy eye patch…no? NO. Because, you see, this party, I soon learned, was going to be crawling with supermodels. Not just models–supermodels. And honestly, can a petite Jewish girl who has been instructed by her eye doctor not to wear makeup for another two weeks really compete with supermodels? Ariel also pointed out that my Polygamist wife costume was very expensive (true,) didn't require makeup (also true,) and was sure to provide lots of laughs (proved true.) So I donned it once again, and went out with Ariel, dressed as Edward Cullen from Twilight, and his partner Mao, dressed as a sailor, and enjoyed an evening of being summarily ignored by all the men there–as I would have been anyway. I will say this: Russell Simmons cracked up when he saw me, and gave me a total nod of respek. So there.

Greenlight finally has my book!

[image error]A year ago, my beloved neighborhood, Fort Greene, finally, finally got a bookstore: the attractive and well-stocked Greenlight Books on Fulton Street. I went into the store on the day they opened and asked if they had my book (they didn't) or whether they thought they'd order it (nope.) I bought a bunch of books there and repeatedly went to readings–they have a great selection of books and a really great lineup of readers–but I have to admit, it bummed me out. I've been living in the neighborhood for a long time, I write in the neighborhood, I'm friends with all the writers in the neighborhood, and my book was published by Little, Brown and nominated for an Eisner Award…I mean, seriously, what's a girl got to do to get her local bookstore to carry her book? (Oh, you mean it actually has to sell? Whatever.)

Anyway, last week, someone mentioned that they saw my book at Greenlight. I went into the store and sure enough, there it was! So now I'm happy.

My eye is busted

[image error]I woke up last week with a swollen left eye that was the result of a Sty Gone Wild. It only got worse over the course of the week, and Thursday I had to have surgery on it, which I won't go into here (you honestly can't handle it.) So I've been hiding in the house for a week, now, thinking every day my eye is going to look better, and every morning I wake up confronted by the same red, swollen, angry, busted eye. If it's getting better, the changes are so imperceptible I can't see them. Does God understand that I am single? That I am a social person who likes to go out?

My friend Patty said, "Have you got a patch on? They are very dramatic. I think you should wear one. Milk this opportunity to be as mysterious as possible." I took her advice and found, much to my surprise, that wearing a patch turns one into an instant sex symbol. It's true. Men and women alike went crazy for the patch. The only unexpected side effect: as soon as I put it on, I couldn't see or hear. Anytime someone asked me a question, I had to ask them to repeat it. But it was worth it, because for the first time in a week, I felt hot.

Shtetl on The Shortwave Radio

[image error]Yesterday I did a radio interview with a Montreal show called "Shtetl on the Shortwave." I love doing radio. You  get to curl up on a chair in your pajamas, close your eyes and say whatever is on your mind. It's so unlike television, where you have to be "on" and drive to Westchester to borrow something colorful from your sister's wardrobe. They were covering a traveling art show that I'm a part of called "Graphic Details: Confessional Comics by Jewish Women." If you'd like to listen to the interview, you can find it here. My section starts at 7:07, but I think the whole show is worth listening to. It's got it all: Jews, comics, music and more Jews.

Drawing 'Toons at New York Comic-Con

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Figment co-founder Jacob Lewis

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I Drew a cartoon for this guy

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One of my two-minute drawings

[image error]On Saturday, I got to spend the day at Comic-Con in my friend Jacob Lewis's booth, drawing cartoons. He was there to launch a website he co-founded with Dana Goodyear called Figment; it's a social networking site for teens that allows them to write and share novels online. Genius, right? They got the idea from a phenomenon currently sweeping Japan: teenaged girls writing best-selling novels on their cellphones. I've known Jacob for 15 years, since we worked together at The New Yorker in the early nineties. It was so fun to spend the day with him–especially the part where we disappeared for two hours and ate sushi.

All day long, people stopped by the booth to fill out a Mad Lib; I then turned it into a cartoon. Here's one example, at right. I can't remember the exact Mad Lib but I know it included "gargantuan cows," a "time machine" and an "orgasmic carrot."

After Comic-Con ended, I met up with my friend Craig Thompson, author of my all-time favorite graphic novel, Blankets, and his girlfriend Sierra Hahn, an editor at Dark Horse Comics. They were in town for the weekend from Portland, OR. Craig just finished his fourth (or fifth?) graphic novel which is forthcoming from Pantheon, and it is going to be incredible. I saw some original drawings a few years ago, the guy is a virtuoso. Another reason I am glad he couldn't find the Figment booth and left the convention center before I was forced to draw in front of him.

Read from the paperback at The Jewish National Fund

[image error][image error]The Impostor's Daughter sang its New York City swan song at the Golda Meir Chapter of The Jewish National Fund on the Upper East Side. I always enjoy doing readings, but I especially enjoy doing them when the crowd asks intelligent questions, buys lots of books, presents me with a special certificate "for giving such an interesting and enjoyable talk"–and tries to set me up with their grandsons! Ladies, I am a young at heart 39, with a 24″ waist (I just measured) a size 4.25 ring finger and a 42″ flat-screen TV. You know where to find me.

The "Our Bodies, Our Junk" guys read at Greenlight

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At the Carousel reading

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The always-lovable Todd Levin, another one of the authors

So, a week or so ago I did this cartoon slide show at an event called Carousel. There, I met Ted Travelstead and Mike Sacks, two of the authors of a very funny new sex guide–or parody of one–called, "Our Bodies, Our Junk." They told me they were also going to be reading on Thursday night, at my local bookstore, Greenlight, so I went, expecting to hear the same (very funny) reading. Instead, they'd cobbled...

HBO's Bored to Death premieres in New York

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Maybe it's time to get an iPhone that has a flash?

Tuesday night Sarah Jones took me to the premiere of HBO's Bored To Death, written by Jonathan Ames, whom I've known since the mid-nineties. Nathan Englander and his girlfriend, Rachel, were also there; we were all randomly seated together. Jonathan spoke to a crowd which included his parents and most of the cast (Zach Galifianakis was away on location.) He said the show had brought his parents a lot of 'nachas,' adding, "For the two people...

It's Yom Kippur. I'm sorry for everything I ever did to anyone, anywhere.

[image error]Here are the things I need to repent for this year:

1. Telling everyone I know I'd gone vegetarian after reading Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals, then going to a BBQ and rejecting the sad soy patty I was given in favor of a big, juicy burger. (Haven't eaten veggie since.)

2. Billing myself as a "huge reader" on OK Cupid, even though the last book I read was Andrew Young's The Politician. And before that, Us Weekly.

3. Blowing off meditation every morning.

4. Consistently reading the...

Tonight: Reading at Carousel, "cartoon slide show and other projected pictures"

[image error]To be honest, I'm not really sure what this is–or what, exactly, I'm doing tonight–but I looked at the Facebook page for the event and there seems to be a pretty big crowd coming. It has something to do with comics and features Brian Dewan, Emily Flake, Dale Goodson, Danny Hellman, John Kovaleski, The Association for the Betterment of Sex (Scott Jacobson, Todd Levin, Jason Roeder, Mike Sacks and Ted Travelstead) and yours truly, and is hosted by Bob Sikoryak. Here's the info; tickets are...