Samantha Wilde's Blog, page 3

Will Dance for Book Sales

Hello, wonderful blog readers. I'm into my count down for the publication of I'LL TAKE WHAT SHE HAS, and boy, is this an exciting time. I am so thrilled, in fact, that I am dancing, in my mother's words, "like an insane housewife." You can't miss it!
What's all the hoop-la about? The publication of my second novel, which has gone through 5 (!) editors and four years!

Read the first chapter here. And while you're at it, you can pre-order a copy from your favorite book seller (unless you plan to make the book launch and party on February 27 at Odyssey Books, then you can save it for the DAY!).

There will be many opportunities to win the book for free in the upcoming weeks. You can enter for a copy on Library Thing and soon on Goodreads. I will be holding my own giveaway of an advanced reader's copy, and I there is still time to enter the I AM A FEMINIST MOTHER PHOTO CONTEXT AND EXHIBIT, inspired by one of the main characters, Annie.

I hope you laugh!

Dear Vice President Biden,

My six year old son woke me up last night after having a bad dream. Soon after I hugged him and got him back to sleep, I feel asleep myself only to wake a short while later from a nightmare about an armed man entering a large wedding reception ready to open fire.

I could not say to myself when I awoke, "don't worry, it's only a dream."

Regardless of the interpretation of the Second Amendment, we can be certain that our forefathers could not imagine the level of violence possible with modern gun technology. Moreover, ours is a country where the safety of many is ALWAYS more important than the rights of a few to recreation.

Take, for example, smoking. If my son's first grade teacher loved to smoke (and, of course, has a right to smoke), and chained smoked while she taught, she would be told that she cannot smoke on school grounds. In fact, we now have rules that smoking is not allowed in most public spaces. Does this inconvenience smokers? Yes. Does it rub up against their freedom? Sure. But is her love of smoking more important than the health of a group of children? Is there anyone who wouldn't answer yes?

You could do the same with drunk driving. Some people might be just fine driving around drunk and if their drunk driving only injured themselves, it wouldn't be a problem. But it doesn't. And so, our rights to drink and drive have been curtailed. Or let's take anthrax. Do I have a right to make it? Or to conjure up some biological weapons of mass destruction in my husband's lab--just in case the end of the world arrives? Or just because I think it's fun? Obviously not.

The right to bear arms is no different. I don't personally like guns, but I don't doubt that some decent human beings think it's great to shoot a gun for fun. But that person is confused if they think that their right to own a weapon that could murder another person is a more important right than my child's right to live when he goes to school. (That person may say, "I would never harm someone else," but then the majority of mass shootings have been committed by legal gun owners and your neighbor's kid could always come steal your gun. I have to say it: it's just not all about YOU.) I'm not saying people can't have guns, just like we're not saying people can't drink or smoke or ride ATVs. I'm saying, guns belong ONLY in shooting galleries. We say that ATVs can go on paths, backroads, open fields, but for the safety of all, they can't go down the highway.

What can't this logic be applied to this issue? If the gun companies are worried about the loss of sales money (and boo-hoo! some people have lost children!), then perhaps they could learn from the car companies and adapt. Car companies faced a crises and responded by making more fuel efficient cars appropriate for this time. The gun companies could start making recreational Nerf guns, because, hey, if you're doing something for fun it really doesn't need to be something that could kill someone else, now does it?

On the day of the Newtown shooting a man stabbed twenty children in a Chinese school, but they all lived. In truth, crazy people will always be around. This is a gun issue and you and the President must be visionaries and leaders to make a permanent change. We have the most gun violence in this country, not because we need MORE guns, but because we have too many. This is not merely opinion. Statistics back it up: "The United States has the highest gun ownership rates in the world and the second highest rate of gun deaths among industrialized nations. That's not a coincidence. Looking at developed nations, the U.S. is the end point of a staggering trend where the higher the rate of gun ownership, the more people die from gun wounds."
(Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/shooting-gun-laws-2012-12#ixzz2HVTbbspX)
I have three young children. If my two year old runs around with a spoon in his mouth, I take it away, not because a spoon is wrong, but because he could hurt himself and spoons belong at the table. Guns belong in the shooting range and nowhere else. I challenge any person to tell me that their right to a massive assault weapon is in the best interest of ANYONE. I won't say the word selfish, but I'll think it.
Thank you for taking firm, revolutionary, history making action which rests upon strong, established policy precedent in this country to preserve the right of each of us to live in peace. You can be brave and stand up against the NRA and if your courage falters, then you can remember the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary. I am sure that will be inspiration enough.
Yours sincerely,

Feminist Mother, duh!

I asked my oldest friend, during a recent visit she made from Ohio, to pose for the I Am A Feminist Mother Photo Contest and Online Exhibit. She wanted to know why, again, was I doing this, because in her life, every mother she knows is a feminist mother.

It was a good opportunity for me to share some of the responses I have received about this project, which I list, in no particular order:
1. Silence
2. What is a feminist?
3. I don't like the word feminist.
4. I don't understand what you mean.
5. Feminists are angry and hate people; I'm not one of them.
6. I don't understand.
7. Feminist and mother are oxymoronic.
8. If you stay-at-home, you can't be a feminist.
9. Feminists don't like me.
10. Silence

Here, I've captured my oldest, dearest friend, who suggested she read the galley copy of my new novel, I'll TAKE WHAT SHE HAS (the inspiration for this photo contest), for the photo. Her son is leaping beside her. My friend, Sara, is one of the strongest, wisest, brightest people I know and she is raising her son with authenticity and awareness. I have learned from her how to be more myself, and truer to myself. A woman who supports other women like she does, who uses her gifts for the good (politically and emotionally),and who is neither apologetic nor retiring in her own gifts and capacities, is not just a feminist mother, but an inspiration.

Please send me your photograph!

Bestselling Books of 2013

This is only a prediction, people. However, I have used my astute psychic powers (and the 2012 bestsellers list) to compile the list of bestselling books for the upcoming year.

1. FIFTY SHADES OF PINK (nail polish memoir, obviously)

2. BAGGYPANTS (mother with ill-fitting wardrobe tells all)

3. GIRL WITH THE CHOCOLATE TATTOO (one woman's obsession leads her into dark places)

4. THE TODDLER WHISPERER (a man who can understand toddlers reveals their doomsday prophesies)

5. ZOMBIE MOMMIES (Tribe of zombie mommies rid the planet of guns)

6.  LIFE OF PIE (an apple pie confession)

7. SAMANTHA WILDE: VAMPIRE HUNTER (has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?)

8. SHAGGING KENNEDY (admit you want to read it already!)

9. UNDERWEAR: A HISTORY (underwear through the millenia, coffee table book, naturally)

10. I'LL TAKE WHAT SHE HAS (a novel of envy, friendship and motherhood that you can't put down)

My Best Reads of 2012

Hello dear readers! Can I tell you how it fills my heart with joy to know that I have an above average number of blog readers? According to my stepfather who read it somewhere reliable (he doesn't read anything that isn't reliable), the average blog has fewer than ten readers. That was some of the best news I've heard in all of December. I feel so totally POPULAR now!

It's almost like spending lots of time with small children and thinking, "hey, I'm the smartest one here!"

At any rate, in my continual effort to give back to the teeming masses of my fans, I want to share with you my absolute favorite reads from 2012. This year has been a good reading year for me. I've loved nearly everything I've read. (I probably average a book a week so that might actually be saying something.) Without any further literary foreplay, here's my list.

BEST PARENTING BOOK: John Gray, Children Are From Heaven
One of the all around best books on parenting I've read in nearly seven years of obsessively reading everything. I wish I'd read this one first. Compassionate, original, loving.

BEST CAN'T PUT DOWN READ ALL NIGHT NOVEL: Kamala Nair, The Girl in the Garden
I actually could not put this book down. I read it on the toilet and while brushing my teeth and while driving...

BEST FUNNY BOOK: Valerie Frankel, It's Hard Not to Hate You
This book is so good and so funny, everyone I know should read it. It's a searingly honest self-exploration of the author's hater-side. Brilliant about envy for other writers. I can't think of a person who wouldn't identify or laugh through most of it--if they're honest with themselves!

BEST SPIRITUAL MEMOIR: Joanna Brooks, Book of Mormon Girl
I read tons of spiritual memoirs. This may be one area where I actually know what I'm talking about (though maybe not, it's been awhile since I had a full night's sleep), and I raced through this book. It's compelling and fascinating and amazingly truthful. You do NOT need to be a Mormon to like this book. Anyone who grew up with a strong faith tradition will identify with her journey.

BEST RELIGIOUS BOOK: Rob Bell, Love Wins
Every Christian should read this book. And all the ex-Christians who can't stand what modern Christians say, do and think. It's an enlightened, progressive, stimulating look at some of the deepest held and most toxic beliefs and most amazingly of all, it's written by an evangelical minister (which gives me such hope for the future).

BEST FUNNY NOVEL: Maria Semple, Where'd You Go Bernadette
A clever, inventive, original, witty, hilarious novel. This is the kind of book you sneak off and read and when people ask what you've been doing, you say, "I've been having fun!"

BEST BOOK BEYOND CATEGORY:  Christian McEwan, World Enough & Time
Lush, lovely, inspiring, moving, important. A look at our cultural "hurry sickness" with poetic, creative, literary and though-provoking ruminations on "the cure." Each page, each chapter like a chocolate. I read it slowly and it has helped me.

BEST DRAMATIC NOVEL: Emily Giffin, The Heart of the Matter
The book's take on infidelity I found fresh, poignant, satisfying and real.
Not that Emily Giffin needs me to sell her books. Compared to her, I'm a total LOSER, super unpopular, basically read by NO ONE. But I did love the book.

So stop reading this stuff and go enjoy a good book!

One Weak

It has been one week since the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut. And have we been weak or strong in our response?

My internet presence is primarily as a novelist. I started this blog before my debut novel came out to help promote my novel and I joined Facebook recently in order to do the same thing. I have a website as novelist Samantha Wilde, my pen name. I am not skilled at social media or too much taken with it (and I think it feels the same about me). I have been moved, however, by those who have responded to the death of all those children and educators in a social media context and acted strongly in response.

On the other hand? There have been a lot of weak responses. In the time it takes you to send an email or post to Facebook, you could sign a petition, write a representative, or join a group to make a change for peace on this planet. For those who cannot take the time, what will it take? Will it need to be your child who dies? Or your neighbor at the mall, your family member, spouse--it can't be you. If it's you, it's too late to make a difference.

I have written novels because I love to write. I believe writing well is a gift I was given (and one that requires work and editing and effort, of course) and it gives me a sense of purpose to use any of my gifts for the good of the world, of others, their children and mine. Why would other writers, professional users of social media, or any user of social media, shy away from--not speaking out--but ACTING? I understand the fear of disagreement or upsetting someone with a different view, but how insignificant is this fear in the face of what those teachers did one week ago today?

Shannon Watts the stay-at-home mother of five who began One Million Moms for Gun Control last weekend is a perfect example of using one's abilities to change the world. Compared to most novelists, my reach is microscopic, but I feel blessed that I can use my talents, at they are, to speak out.

The best use of the social media can happen NOW. You can click on a link in this post and add your voice; your voice, your vote, your words, your gifts, your time, your talents, your resources, your despair, your anger, your response COUNTS.

 Every day this week when my children hugged me, showed me what they made at school, looked forward to Christmas, stood in front of me, I thought of the families who cannot do that ever again. The mothers' who have a pile of dirty laundry from a child they will never hold in their arms again. And what will Christmas be for them?

I am not ambivalent. The same day of the Sandy Hook shootings, a man knifed 20 students outside a Chinese primary school. THEY ARE ALL ALIVE. Tell me what the difference is? Mental health? Video games? There's one cause: guns.

What will you do? What will you use? My husband spent part of a demanding work day drafting a serious, heart felt letter to our representative full of educated, significant points and suggestions and he sent it on his letter head.

Let your heart be moved to strong action.

Do Something NOW!

Please listen. Please share. Be convicted to act.




You Can Do Something! my episode on Blogtalkradio.

You will find this a resource no matter your spiritual orientation. These are the days for every mother to make a new world for our children.

And EVERY MOTHER, please join this woman, Shannon Watts, to become One Million Moms for Gun Control.

A Mother's Response to the Connecticut Shootings

I write as a mother who brings two of her children to a public elementary school every day and every day leaves them with a passing thought that on that day, they could be swallowed by the mouth of the beast of violence.

I write as a progressive minister who does not believe in a place called "hell," a fiery pit, a devil with a pitch fork, but who does know that hell exists on this planet and it is happening now to the parents of those children and it is the mind of the shooter and it was the time of heart stopping fear when teachers gathered children into corners.

It is unacceptable to send one's "sympathy." Send your sympathy when someone's 98 year old grandmother dies! This is a senseless tragedy, but no tragedy is meaningless. Those children CANNOT have died in vain. Each of us has the opportunity to make meaning from this moment that changes our lives individually and collectively. We must not cry and change the channel. I REFUSE to accept school massacres as the "the way things are." I WILL NOT raise my children with the lurking shadow of disaster invisible in their school rooms.

The folk singer Cheryl Wheeler wrote a song called "If It Were Up To Me," in which she describes a variety of reasons for violence (in response to another tragedy) and her last line: "If it were up to me, I'd take away the guns."

Well, so would I. We CAN redeem this tragedy. Tragedy can be redemptive and I'll tell you how: respond to the loss by loving your children more, loving people more, forgiving and savoring the day as if you might not see tomorrow, rethink your hobbies that promote a culture where violence is so acceptable that for some watching the news of this shooting barely registered--these may be shooting practice, using hand guns for sport, watching violent films, playing violent video games, accepting the violent tendencies of children without conversation or guidance (and there are others). We MUST take care of our boys and men. Has one of these shootings in the past two decades been from the hand of a female? We MUST pay attention and care for the men and boys who are other people's children too.

You and I, this very day, can be transformed for the better by an act that looks like nothing good could EVER come from it. When terrorists strike, the nation stands up and says: Never Again. There is nothing else to say (are you listening, Mr. President?), but NEVER AGAIN. We all must change our hearts, our minds, and our lives. We can look to the countries that do not suffer from this horrific malady of spirit and learn.

I write as a mother whose heart breaks for those parents and who asks herself: what can I do to help? I want to join with others, one by one, to make a world where IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN. I want to step away from the sorrow and fear into power and honor--to make meaning out of the senselessness and honor the lives of those children by changing the world now and forever.

How to Write Better

I've put my top 6 best holiday tips for writers up at The Girlfriend's Book Blog.

Now, I shall go take my own advice!

Mamanist

What can a feminist mother look like?

c. Sam Wilde/ Chrystina Nursing
The other week when three mother-friends of mine came over for a play group for our four year old daughters, we had a provocative, compelling and rich conversation about what it means to be a feminist mother. Next time you're with some mothers, ask to take one of their pictures for the I Am A Feminist Mother Photo Contest and Virtual Exhibit and see what happens!

I wanted to capture how my friend Chrystina as I see her. She is a mother who radiates kindness, who continually sows good deeds in to the lives of all those around her. She's a woman who brought gifts for others at her baby shower. Everything she cooks is bliss. Her house is a place you never want to leave. The way she infuses care, love, patience, and attention into her home and her children, is an art.

When I asked her about posing for the picture, she wasn't sure about the term feminist mother and brought up the idea of anger. This opened a door for a meaningful conversation about what it means to value the rights of women and the equality of the sexes. That day my friends recommended a new word. I coined the term Mamanist (so it's MY word!). Here's a word to capture the fundamental dedication to enriching, supporting and valuing the lives of women who are mothers, acts that will improve the lives of all people necessarily.

And where's YOUR picture?